I struggle with being very frustrated when driving. I found this video very helpful. Another thing that helps me is reminding myself it’s not worth all of the potential consequences.
Wow I'm the complete opposite. I fear getting into road rage because there's so much that can go wrong The way I see it, nothing good comes out of road rage.
I just experienced road rage. Dude almost hits me, stops beside me at a red light, got out and started gesturing angrily. I pulled my pistol. I have tinted windows. He did not see my gun. After the green light started; he’s throwing bottles and other things at my truck. He stopped on the road halting traffic trying to get me to pass him. He starts. I punch it. Drove legally around hi. He accelerated an past me on the shoulder of the road. He keeps driving at a high rate of speed. I called 911 reported the tag number, make and model of vehicle and his description. My brain flashed my kid, wife and the life we have and I was able to deescalate repeatedly. I’m blessed and glad it ended with everyone going home safely. I was going to the grocery store to get my kid milk. Crazy world 🌎. Don’t take anything personally.
My girlfriend sent me this video after i told her about a road rage incident, i had over reacted and this video has changed my perspective on how im going to approach driving from now on so thankyou for this video
Same! Im normally such a sweet and patient person but today I just lost it. I threw a muffin outside my car window today, I was so freaking pissed and heated in the moment. I'm pretty ashamed by my actions but the best I can do is learn from it. This video is helping me :)
@@morganccosner9891 lol! I'm sorry but picturing someone throwing a muffin out their window out of anger sounds funny. But really that's cool you realized your actions and are trying to to better.
Just got back home from wanting to rip someone's head off. I even stopped my car and wanted the other guy to get out. This has made me reflect and I love the part at the end 'lets bring some peaceful energy into our roads'. I'm going to do my best to make sure I'm becoming part of a wider solution, not the emotional problem. Needed this Dr many thanks!
Driving in an urban environment proves to be really challenging, especially when a lot of other people are driving like maniacs. It took me a long time to accept being pushed around on the road, but I found if I let people do their thing, it really doesn’t effect how quickly I get to my destination. Thanks for the encouragement!
Alot of people here in US do live in cartoon world. They get very upset for a very minor inconvenient occurances on the roads. They (myself included) need to watch this video.
Lol. I love the self-awareness. Yes, you're right, we all need to continue to work on aligning our expectations with reality. We're all in this life together, and as long as we're alive, we all have things we can work on. Sending you all my best and tons of peace!
In Korea, people call it "revenge driving" which kind of makes sense too. But road rage sounds more suitable. Also, these days, oftentimes people intentionally provoke and upset the other drivers because they have an issue!! They want to get even for the suffering they endured from other drivers. They take it on innocent drivers knowingly!! I know it sounds crazy but it's a crazy world we live in nowadays.
I'm a commercial driver, and this video really helped!!! Every day I deal with being ALMOST hit... its been an ongoing struggle to point of being super stressed about driving... really appreciate it.
Yes! You're so right! We cannot allow others to control us for anything, let alone when they are struggling in a tougher place themselves. In other words, if others are mean or rude or anything, we certainly do NOT want to give a person in a spot like that our power. When we think about it this way, I think it can help to hold onto our power and keep us in control. Definitely sending you all my best and tons of peace! Also - check out my radio show on Monday nights from 8pm-10pm EST on KDKA radio.... Much peace!
Man this is what I needed to see. I have extreme road rage. It happens when people get on my ass. I get intense and enraged instantly! I would say to myself man what is it about that, that pisses me off so much.. I would Analyze the situation. Reflect deeply inside and ask myself why do I get so mad about that? And why am I responding in such ways? I’m such a genuine and kind person.. and for me to react like this is so out of my character. And I feel like a maniac in these situations. But this video is what I needed. I’m going to work even harder on controlling my road rage. Thank you man. I also subbed to your channel
Same man I used to get super mad when people would tail gate me but I’m going to commit to not getting angry about that anymore and choosing to ignore it if someone decides to tailgate me. God bless.
Well I feel like the the second and third reason really apply to me, I just got home from some bad road rage and I just wanted to know why I’m getting so upset. Thank you for showing me what I couldn’t see.
Yes, we need more peace on earth. Besides road wage. we have work rage, home rage etc.. Everyday I face people who have to explode 3 times per day. The only thing I can do is to keep quiet and walk away. There seems to be no other way, as rage can lead to explode.. Thanks for the wisdom.
Thank you so much. You're absolutely right. There's so much anger out there. That's definitely why I started to make videos weekly now. I'd love to be able to help wherever I can. I appreciate your words brother. Much peace!
I just had a heated argument with a driver. Despite reasoning with him nicely, he kept swearing at me until I lost it too. In the end I became so angry that my face felt hot, so I promptly searched anger management videos on RUclips and found you. Thank goodness there are people like you around, if not I would have ended up in a very difficult position.
What about ego and arrogance. Here in Australia got plenty of clowns whose fuel is this. They go out of their way to be annoying and arrogant. Too busy disliking what another driver looks like or they think is. Excellent video love it Dr Conte. Watch all of them, thank you for your help in this insane world.
Thank you so much! And yes, you're so right about ego and arrogance. I think our egos are blinded by arrogance, which, I think is ultimately "certainty." Certainty does its best to convince our egos that they see everything, when the more accurate reality is that far more that we don't see. So I guess, with our limited knowledge, being humble and grateful for anything we can know is probably wise. In any case, I hope that's helpful. I appreciate you watching! Definitely sending you tons of peace!
This was amazingly helpful! I actually laughed when you talked about the guy waiting all night just so he could follow me and cut me off! Things really are all about perspective.
I need to watch this video every day just to remind myself to calm down 😂. When I first started driving a few years ago I had a massive temper on the road and wanted to go at anyone that would cut me off or honk back at me. I was fully convinced I was the best driver on the road during that time. In the years since I’ve toned it down a lot and I’m a lot calmer and realize everyone especially me makes mistakes. However when something happens every once in a while my anger still comes out just naturally and I do something I regret doing later. I still need to do better 😔
I had this dude today get mad at me over yielding for another car at a roundabout, he was in front and got out of his car and was screaming and yelling, walking up to my car… I definitely was arguing with him back, not helping the situation. Hard not to when someone is coming at you for nothing… Thank you for this video, really puts a perspective on things
i find it hard to deal with frustrations about selfish arseholes. Not the genuine mistakes we all make. The "I Wanna be where you are" lot or those who cut you up or don't indicate. Its a symptom of our selfish world.
Thank you for this video! I'm a truck driver and I've been dealing with road rade and slow drivers daily. Thanks to those antidotes I'm much more relaxed during my work and I'm not taking every situation personally! Amazing how easy it was! Thumbs up!
I need a lot of help with this stuff. My anger in life and my road rage have been out of control I'm lucky I'm not locked up. Do these really work? Thanks for your time
I commute by bicycle and go on long rides on the weekend. Drivers do dangerous things near me regularly. 5 months ago was hit and run on my bike. 3 fractured vertebrae and some nerve damage, but I’m back on the bike. I’ve caught my self raging a few times since. It is unpleasant. This video was helpful. Thanks.
Added note: most drivers are considerate and try to pass safely. I know it’s not always easy to accommodate the cyclists and share the road. I appreciate the effort. But there is a fraction of drivers that are inattentive or even hostile. I seem to be more sensitive to these interactions since the accident.
Thank you for this video! I’m going to commit myself to being a peaceful driver and try to make the roads a safer and calmer place for everyone! God bless you!
You have become a mentor to me unbeknownst to you. I literally have been applying your advice to everyday life. I’ve been wanting to meet a stranger for years to get advice from. Thank you!
Absolutely superb. Great advice and more relevant than ever in these troubled times. I really enjoyed your advice, albeit I'm a few years late to the party! Outstanding, thank you.
So grateful to hear it, Nick. I promise you, brother, that will help with any previous trauma that might be impacting how you experience your every day. Definitely sending you all my best and tons of peace!
Thanx for taking the time to put this video and topic out there, I appreciate it ,I struggle with anger and I’m trying to change those old habits so those tips will hopefully help.
100%. I sincerely appreciate you taking time to say some kind words. And Mike, I can tell you that anger is definitely tough to deal with, but we certainly don't want it to control us, so remember: Every opportunity on the road that someone does something we don't like is an opportunity to practice patience and self-control. Sending you all the best and much peace brother.
Great video. What gets on my nerves is when im switching into a lane and i leave plenty of space in front of the vehicle in that lane when i switch and they still flash their lights at me. I dont understand why when i am nowhere near them...
Thank you! Remember that it's our "cartoon world" that has us believing others "should" drive correctly.... especially when our "real world" experience has taught us that others most definitely will make mistakes on the road! Sending you all the best and tons of peace! And safe driving!
The fear thing, definitely. I’m on a scooter and as I’m so vulnerable on the road I feel like my life is often in the hands of people I don’t know who often make terrible decisions and endanger my entire existence. There’s mistakes yes (we all make them, myself included!) and then there’s those who drive recklessly with what appears to be complete disrespect for the welfare of all other road users, especially vulnerable ones like me. I don’t think having reasonable expectations should be dismissed as ‘cartoonish’ and I think the fact something is very wrong should be honoured rather than just swept aside. “That guy was driving dangerously and I was right to think that” rather than a blanket “Oh, that’s just my unrealistic expectations. I’ll not have them...” I’ve been a scooter courier for a while and as such have been exposed to some truly terrifying behaviour. It really does build up and get on top of you sometimes.
@@BigBishop609 hey, how do you deal with tailgaters? I’ve had a real run of them recently and it sets off all my internal alarms and nearly overwhelms my defences. Just impossible to see how anyone could be that stupid to follow you so closely risking your life at any second. I used to react by pulling over as soon as I knew someone was doing it but recently got so fed up with being bullied off the road I’ve experimented with slowing down loads to try to get it through to them but its impossible to know, probably makes no difference beyond getting them more impatient. I’ll also just continue, with them on my arse as why should I be inconvenienced into pulling over by anyone? I also don’t want to hold up traffic behind them unnecessarily. Feels horrible though with them bearing down on you and breathing down your neck. Truly terrifying. Seems like there’s no win.
You are absolutely right, but when im driving and other drivers do something that makes me really mad, i can't control my self. I will align my expectations with those drivers out there. Great video
Everyday I’m late for class and I’m rushing to school I get so mad when there is someone actually going the speed limit on a tiny street. I look back in that and see how stupid it is to get mad for someone to be keeping it cool and safe by not speeding and I’m just being extra
Wow!!!! You have a talent Bro. I request you to keep making videos as much as you can, because you don't realise how much you are reaching out to me. You are so helpful in the most tough situations in life. An amazing guide you are! And for the record, You are not wasting your time one bit, because people are listening to you Dr.!!!
Nice concept sir! Road rage is a major problem in my country India as well. Very few people tend to follow the traffic rules and the road infrastructure is also not proper at many cities. When someone accidentally bumps to another vehicle, or parks vehicle near someone's shop, people go crazy and sometimes augue and fight like shit. People should understand and keep calm on the road.
Letting it pass and moving on is very hard when you believe the other guy Did in fact do it just to tick people off. Going into it everyday with a preconceived notion that if you are using blue lights, or high beams or going slow in a suspicions manner, then speeding up once you have slowed and redistanced yourself, or tried to pass, that you are "Rage Baiting". Then ofcourse I feel justified because in my book the lights are illegal and baiting me into a rage to they can in-turn, have justification to rage at me, ram my car, shoot me, or Mob me with a car load of punks or a Bureau of import bikers with go-pro's that have come to render justice cause they saw you not signal 400 yards up the road going the opposite direction, so they gotta come check you n knock on your window. So with the pre-thinking that reality is what it is, it angers me so bad. I do believe they do it on purpose maybe they weren't waiting on me personally to offend, but they are out offending anyone they can and getting giggles blinding people. So I have to fight passively or end up in jail. Adding another idiot on the road never helps. It's just an Evil society
If you are in a truck people do kinda target you maybe not on a personal level but because a truck is slower, I drive a box truck and really need to change my anger issues to keep my job , so I want to thank you for your time making these videos
This video has been the most helpful. I was in a near fatal accident last year, the traffic in my area is getting worse and worse, and so has my "road rage." This really helped me to understand where it is coming from
I'm at the 5 minute mark, I have all 3 honestly. I also have savere adhd. I am on meds but some days forget to take it. Thanks for the info so far. Time to watch the rest!
im on my 4th week of driving after having my license, and ive come across a few angry drivers at me cause i didnt go immediately in their cartoon world. i obey the rules, i drive safely, and get relaxed, yet it still annoys me that its not good enough. i get mad at guys who get mad at me and cuss at me out the window. i dont look at them or pay much attention to them but its a seed that plants into my head, and i go through that scenario over and over, trying to figure out what i did that is wrong, but then i eventually just get bummed out, and stop caring, like altogether stop caring about other people's feelings. being numb is my fallback and protective shell.
I can't help but feel like I need to take it personally. There are drivers that drive purposefully erratically. They zoom down the road, weaving in and out and tailgate. This is in broad daylight. These people do it to scare people. It's scary when you are a mom of young children and there is this type of aggression on the road. I want to move to a sleepy town where getting to places isn't so scary but who am I kidding, crazies are everywhere.
100%! What a beautiful reaction you have to learning that! That's really what life is all about: Learning. We all struggle. We all mess up. But it's the willingness to set our egos aside that makes all the difference. Definitely sending you all my best and tons of peace!
Thanx for replying and words of encouragement I’ve been watching your video s ,good topics these are things a lot of men need to here including my self, god bless man!
thank you for sharing i appreciate information that will help me deal with my anger, and not feel like i’m giving up my pride and be a better person to society
Thank you for saying that, because that's my exact point: I might be a bigger guy, but my whole goal is to use whatever inner strength I have to bring people as much peace as I can. Definitely sending you tons of peace!
I get really aggrieved if someone drives badly or cuts me up etc... I've been a better driver over the last year or so so when I encounter a poor driver I say to myself "have I ever done something like that?". Usually the answer is yes which helps me to excuse their driving and carry on with my day... It still lingers in me for a while but I get over it without reacting.
Thank you for this video. This is a big problem in our society. Unfortunately we seem to be getting more and more individualistic and the concept of sharing the road or looking out for others is getting lost. On top of that our cities are getting more crowded causing traffic which creates more stress. I experience it myself. Someone does something I perceive as wrong and it stays in my head all day. I hope people can start looking at things differently before it's too late.
Dr conte Your advise sounds most reasonable and practical to me. I know it is easier thought than done but I will definitely practice over again. Thank you. God bless you.
Thanks for making this video, it did explain a lot! I have never understand why people get so angry, because when someone cuts me off, drive unsafe or anything else, I do just handle the situation as the most common thing and do not even shrug. It's just what do happen, it can't even get me irritated. After listening to you, I do think that I do understand why I do not react at all. I expect everyone to drive badly even on purpose so when it happens I do know that it was going to happen! I do also know that I can make mistakes and do double check before doing anything. After a near accident I have no adrenaline because I have been to occupied using the skills and knowledge I already have, so when everything is over, I do start analyzing what I have learned and what I may do better. The though about death or bodily harm, does not enter my mind because if I did got hurt, I would not sit there contemplating. My second rule is always to have more time then I need, so if I am not sure what to do or what other will do, I have lots of time to slow down or even hold still until the situation is resolved.
There is absolutely a difference between "mistakes" versus intentional attempted-manslaughter. Law enforcement doesn't enforce the law often enough, even when you call them and make a report. Some people NEED the real, immediate, nagative reinforcement. But when they escalate and want to get hostile, people need to remember that the state-statutes regarding justified use of lethal force apply when someone "has vested interest in causing great bodily harm".
I live in a mid-sized city & used to being cut off, etc. When I DO get that rage is when it seems very deliberate, anti-social, unhinged driving. I was cross a two way street and a car pulled up on the opposite crossway and completely blinded me. High beams and extremely bright bulbs. I guess he was offended I was using that driveway? To my credit I just drove off soon as I could but minutes I'm still crazy angry. In other words if I think it's accidental bad driving I'm able to let it go but if it seems delibrate I loose my sh*t. Well, privately. I didn't chase or attack him but I wanted to. Psychopath.
Driving in the passing lane 10 mph under the speed limit is not a mistake once they realize it. How do you know when they realize it? Once they troll you by going even slower or brake checking. The problem is way to many people ARE trying to get a response from you and continue to do so until you are forced to show aggression. You hit a lot of good points here but am hoping for a video that will focus on how to control that anger when people ARE messing with you. It’s easy to distinguish the difference between a mistake and continued behavior.
Thanks for this video. I have been struggling with road rage for many years. I have been in a few accidents that were my fault from a short fuse 😭I need to remember to breath and do the 30 second rule. I also need to remember not to listen to the news. My therapist said if you’re hearing the news about all the bad it will affect your driving. There is always going ti be stupid asshole drivers. I need to keep in mind getting heated could be really bad in the long run! I think I need to start watching this daily!! So thanks for this video! 👍😀
As a child I was held against my Will. I struggled with road rage when I felt trapped by another driver. When my heart and mind made this connection I healed. I do believe everything happens for a reason.
Sir! I am really a person exactly you described in this video! Thank you so much for this video! It has made me realised and helped to tone down my reactions on roads while driving! Thank you so much! I am trying to put this in practice daily!
I damaged my car being in a road rage yesterday. I over reacted to another person who provoked me and ended up smashing into the back of a truck. Luckily I was driving slow. Oh yes. I live in Kerala, India. Thank yiu so much doc. I learn new things every day.
Hello Dr Conti I struggle with this issue in our society. More and more people are focused on their own satisfaction (me first, take care of your own happiness first). A world famous Jewish man years ago said "offer them your other cheek". His compassion turn into millions of people giving acts of kindness. I believe people need to humble them selves and let some one in front of you in the check out line of life. I attended a funeral in 1991 for a 87 yr old neighbor. he had over two hundred people attend the funeral and burial. Talking with many of them we all agreed he was a very happy man who bragged he never had a fight with his wife. He said happiness is being able to ask your friends and family " what can I do to be better for you" . He asked me one afternoon this same question and I quickly said get a better muffler on your car! Sam said ok, but know that I had the quite one removed when my wife hearing was bad and she missed not being able to meet me at the door when I returned from work. I thought about replacing it after her death but my hearing is bad now and I can hear if I forget to turn the car off in the garage. The next day at 6 am I smiled when he started his car to go get his morning paper. Are we afraid to ask this question to our friends and family? I was but once I learned how, I went into rehab and became a volunteer. Now people wave to me in the store or walking down the street.
Thanks for sharing that story. I agree, life is about so much more than getting upset over the little things. Our time here on Earth is so quick - so it's important to be patient and kind to others. Sending you much peace!
Just today I had a guy tailgate me because a two lane road narrowed to one and he thought I was blocking him. I didn’t even know he was there. Next thing I know I go through a stop sign take a right turn he pulls in front of me slams his brakes on blocking the road and gets out of his car and runs to my window and starts screaming at me. I tried to talk to him but there was no talking to this person. I told him to get back in his car and drive away and he kept screaming at me so I put it in reverse backed up and drove around him into my parking lot. Luckily he disappeared because I was beginning to fear an attack which would have been bad for him.
Thank you for this, Dr. Conte! I've been searching Google for help on this subject for quite some time and suffering even longer, your 12-minute video (mini-masterpiece!) felt calming and healing like a Mother's cool touch of her hand on her child's feverish forehead. I GOT it, cognitively! Now to get it experientially... I'm going to listen before sleep and also upon awakening because this was after all an "Awakening".
Lawrence! Thank you. I appreciate your kind words a ton. I have a radio show on Monday nights, please feel free to call in anytime. In the meantime, I am sending you all my best and tons of peace!
I had an event today where I was at fault and I raged at the driver, wanting to get out, then backed off, the other driver started raging as well. I realized the mistake I did after leaving and thinking about it for a while. I was stupid to turn it personally and I started looking at solutions on how to fix this. I just wanted to share this since I couldn't tell the other driver this. Don't be stupid like me, it's not worth it. Tbh I'm actually a good guy and this was an exception where the ego fired up and wanted to feel superior.
I someone off by accident once. He sped past me and applied his brakes hard. Then, he tried to run me off the road for about 5 minutes...the scariest 5 minutes of my life.
Helps me a lot to say "he didn't mean to do that! He just got fired and is in his own head." Or "he has explosive diarrhea and is tailgating cuz he doesn't want to poop his pants." But NOTHING helps me when I see people texting while driving. I just feel burning rage. Not sure how to stop that.
I just came back from this experience that a car purposely pulled to the side of the road in the middle of driving, just so that this car can be behind me and start honking to my car endlessly, at 7am in a very empty neighborhood. Thank God I resorted to this video!!
I struggle with being very frustrated when driving. I found this video very helpful. Another thing that helps me is reminding myself it’s not worth all of the potential consequences.
Wow I'm the complete opposite. I fear getting into road rage because there's so much that can go wrong
The way I see it, nothing good comes out of road rage.
I just experienced road rage. Dude almost hits me, stops beside me at a red light, got out and started gesturing angrily. I pulled my pistol. I have tinted windows. He did not see my gun. After the green light started; he’s throwing bottles and other things at my truck. He stopped on the road halting traffic trying to get me to pass him. He starts. I punch it. Drove legally around hi. He accelerated an
past me on the shoulder of the road. He keeps driving at a high rate of speed.
I called 911 reported the tag number, make and model of vehicle and his description.
My brain flashed my kid, wife and the life we have and I was able to deescalate repeatedly. I’m blessed and glad it ended with everyone going home safely.
I was going to the grocery store to get my kid milk. Crazy world 🌎.
Don’t take anything personally.
Is alot people anger are nkow I almost no want go out 😭
My girlfriend sent me this video after i told her about a road rage incident, i had over reacted and this video has changed my perspective on how im going to approach driving from now on so thankyou for this video
Same! Im normally such a sweet and patient person but today I just lost it. I threw a muffin outside my car window today, I was so freaking pissed and heated in the moment. I'm pretty ashamed by my actions but the best I can do is learn from it. This video is helping me :)
@@morganccosner9891 lol! I'm sorry but picturing someone throwing a muffin out their window out of anger sounds funny. But really that's cool you realized your actions and are trying to to better.
Had road range this morning. Now I’m at this video. Who else? 😂😂
Me ... happened for past two days😑😑
Mines still happening even after this. Maybe I should just walk lol 😂
Me this morning ,the dmv had me heated because they had me drive back 20 mins for proof of address because the one I gave them was not 30 days old
Just got back home from wanting to rip someone's head off. I even stopped my car and wanted the other guy to get out. This has made me reflect and I love the part at the end 'lets bring some peaceful energy into our roads'. I'm going to do my best to make sure I'm becoming part of a wider solution, not the emotional problem. Needed this Dr many thanks!
I've been getting angry on the road and need this
Driving in an urban environment proves to be really challenging, especially when a lot of other people are driving like maniacs. It took me a long time to accept being pushed around on the road, but I found if I let people do their thing, it really doesn’t effect how quickly I get to my destination. Thanks for the encouragement!
Alot of people here in US do live in cartoon world. They get very upset for a very minor inconvenient occurances on the roads. They (myself included) need to watch this video.
Lol. I love the self-awareness. Yes, you're right, we all need to continue to work on aligning our expectations with reality. We're all in this life together, and as long as we're alive, we all have things we can work on. Sending you all my best and tons of peace!
In Korea, people call it "revenge driving" which
kind of makes sense too. But road rage sounds
more suitable. Also, these days, oftentimes
people intentionally provoke and upset the other drivers
because they have an issue!! They want to get even for
the suffering they endured from other drivers. They
take it on innocent drivers knowingly!! I know it sounds crazy
but it's a crazy world we live in nowadays.
I'm a commercial driver, and this video really helped!!!
Every day I deal with being ALMOST hit... its been an ongoing struggle to point of being super stressed about driving... really appreciate it.
I'm so grateful to hear that. Definitely sending you all my best and tons of peace! Stay safe out there!
Most of the time I can't even be on the road more than five minutes before I encounter an a**hole. It's beginning to get beyond ridiculous.
@@ewkabel, maintain your composure.
this is helpful in daily life.
Thank you so much. I wish you much peace!
Stay in your car, lock the door and get on the phone and call police. If you fight you're both going to jail.
I really needed this Dr. I cannot continue to allow others to control my anger with their staring and spiteful driving habits.
Yes! You're so right! We cannot allow others to control us for anything, let alone when they are struggling in a tougher place themselves. In other words, if others are mean or rude or anything, we certainly do NOT want to give a person in a spot like that our power. When we think about it this way, I think it can help to hold onto our power and keep us in control. Definitely sending you all my best and tons of peace! Also - check out my radio show on Monday nights from 8pm-10pm EST on KDKA radio.... Much peace!
Man this is what I needed to see. I have extreme road rage. It happens when people get on my ass. I get intense and enraged instantly! I would say to myself man what is it about that, that pisses me off so much.. I would Analyze the situation. Reflect deeply inside and ask myself why do I get so mad about that? And why am I responding in such ways? I’m such a genuine and kind person.. and for me to react like this is so out of my character. And I feel like a maniac in these situations. But this video is what I needed. I’m going to work even harder on controlling my road rage. Thank you man. I also subbed to your channel
Same man I used to get super mad when people would tail gate me but I’m going to commit to not getting angry about that anymore and choosing to ignore it if someone decides to tailgate me. God bless.
@@Aaron-ed1xp wish you the best with that brotha!!! And yes man it’s tough I’m still having a hard time with it but we got this! God Bless you too
Well I feel like the the second and third reason really apply to me, I just got home from some bad road rage and I just wanted to know why I’m getting so upset. Thank you for showing me what I couldn’t see.
Me too that's why I ended up here😞🤦
For a new driver, this is very helpful, be safe out there everyone
Yes, we need more peace on earth. Besides road wage. we have work rage, home rage etc.. Everyday I face people who have to explode 3 times per day. The only thing I can do is to keep quiet and walk away. There seems to be no other way, as rage can lead to explode.. Thanks for the wisdom.
Thank you so much. You're absolutely right. There's so much anger out there. That's definitely why I started to make videos weekly now. I'd love to be able to help wherever I can. I appreciate your words brother. Much peace!
I just had a heated argument with a driver. Despite reasoning with him nicely, he kept swearing at me until I lost it too. In the end I became so angry that my face felt hot, so I promptly searched anger management videos on RUclips and found you. Thank goodness there are people like you around, if not I would have ended up in a very difficult position.
What about ego and arrogance. Here in Australia got plenty of clowns whose fuel is this. They go out of their way to be annoying and arrogant. Too busy disliking what another driver looks like or they think is. Excellent video love it Dr Conte. Watch all of them, thank you for your help in this insane world.
Thank you so much! And yes, you're so right about ego and arrogance. I think our egos are blinded by arrogance, which, I think is ultimately "certainty." Certainty does its best to convince our egos that they see everything, when the more accurate reality is that far more that we don't see. So I guess, with our limited knowledge, being humble and grateful for anything we can know is probably wise. In any case, I hope that's helpful. I appreciate you watching! Definitely sending you tons of peace!
This was amazingly helpful! I actually laughed when you talked about the guy waiting all night just so he could follow me and cut me off! Things really are all about perspective.
thorandmoljnir 🙏🏼
I did just today and it was stupid. I regret when I lunged down and thought about the consequences. and I was more stupid than he who provoked me.
I need to watch this video every day just to remind myself to calm down 😂. When I first started driving a few years ago I had a massive temper on the road and wanted to go at anyone that would cut me off or honk back at me. I was fully convinced I was the best driver on the road during that time. In the years since I’ve toned it down a lot and I’m a lot calmer and realize everyone especially me makes mistakes. However when something happens every once in a while my anger still comes out just naturally and I do something I regret doing later. I still need to do better 😔
I had this dude today get mad at me over yielding for another car at a roundabout, he was in front and got out of his car and was screaming and yelling, walking up to my car… I definitely was arguing with him back, not helping the situation. Hard not to when someone is coming at you for nothing… Thank you for this video, really puts a perspective on things
i find it hard to deal with frustrations about selfish arseholes. Not the genuine mistakes we all make. The "I Wanna be where you are" lot or those who cut you up or don't indicate. Its a symptom of our selfish world.
Thank you for this video! I'm a truck driver and I've been dealing with road rade and slow drivers daily. Thanks to those antidotes I'm much more relaxed during my work and I'm not taking every situation personally! Amazing how easy it was! Thumbs up!
I need a lot of help with this stuff. My anger in life and my road rage have been out of control I'm lucky I'm not locked up. Do these really work? Thanks for your time
people not signaling,especially at 4-way stops and combination straight turn lanes senddddds me
I commute by bicycle and go on long rides on the weekend. Drivers do dangerous things near me regularly. 5 months ago was hit and run on my bike. 3 fractured vertebrae and some nerve damage, but I’m back on the bike. I’ve caught my self raging a few times since. It is unpleasant. This video was helpful. Thanks.
Added note: most drivers are considerate and try to pass safely. I know it’s not always easy to accommodate the cyclists and share the road. I appreciate the effort. But there is a fraction of drivers that are inattentive or even hostile. I seem to be more sensitive to these interactions since the accident.
Thank you for this video! I’m going to commit myself to being a peaceful driver and try to make the roads a safer and calmer place for everyone! God bless you!
You have become a mentor to me unbeknownst to you. I literally have been applying your advice to everyday life. I’ve been wanting to meet a stranger for years to get advice from. Thank you!
Thank you so much! I appreciate hearing that these videos are helpful for you for sure. Definitely sending you all the best and tons of peace!
Thanks for taking the time. I suffer with this
Absolutely superb. Great advice and more relevant than ever in these troubled times. I really enjoyed your advice, albeit I'm a few years late to the party! Outstanding, thank you.
Such a good point that the other driver does not know us personally
Thank you Doctor, I made a "I'm Safe, I'm Cool, I'm OK" sticker to put on my lower front window... I thank you again for the help!
So grateful to hear it, Nick. I promise you, brother, that will help with any previous trauma that might be impacting how you experience your every day. Definitely sending you all my best and tons of peace!
My thing is I get frustrated and view everyone on the road as a threat but I’m not scared
Amazing mentality and analysis
Thank you! Much peace!
Who else is here after doing something childish because of road rage?🙃
Thanx for taking the time to put this video and topic out there, I appreciate it ,I struggle with anger and I’m trying to change those old habits so those tips will hopefully help.
100%. I sincerely appreciate you taking time to say some kind words. And Mike, I can tell you that anger is definitely tough to deal with, but we certainly don't want it to control us, so remember: Every opportunity on the road that someone does something we don't like is an opportunity to practice patience and self-control. Sending you all the best and much peace brother.
Great video. What gets on my nerves is when im switching into a lane and i leave plenty of space in front of the vehicle in that lane when i switch and they still flash their lights at me. I dont understand why when i am nowhere near them...
Thank you! Remember that it's our "cartoon world" that has us believing others "should" drive correctly.... especially when our "real world" experience has taught us that others most definitely will make mistakes on the road! Sending you all the best and tons of peace! And safe driving!
I jus cried and i subscribed... Because he just saved me from my post anger stress.... All true sir...
I am watching this on my phone, driving. I hope no one breaks my rules.
The fear thing, definitely. I’m on a scooter and as I’m so vulnerable on the road I feel like my life is often in the hands of people I don’t know who often make terrible decisions and endanger my entire existence.
There’s mistakes yes (we all make them, myself included!) and then there’s those who drive recklessly with what appears to be complete disrespect for the welfare of all other road users, especially vulnerable ones like me.
I don’t think having reasonable expectations should be dismissed as ‘cartoonish’ and I think the fact something is very wrong should be honoured rather than just swept aside. “That guy was driving dangerously and I was right to think that” rather than a blanket “Oh, that’s just my unrealistic expectations. I’ll not have them...”
I’ve been a scooter courier for a while and as such have been exposed to some truly terrifying behaviour. It really does build up and get on top of you sometimes.
As a motorcyclist that rides regularly, I feel the same way.
@@BigBishop609 hey, how do you deal with tailgaters? I’ve had a real run of them recently and it sets off all my internal alarms and nearly overwhelms my defences.
Just impossible to see how anyone could be that stupid to follow you so closely risking your life at any second.
I used to react by pulling over as soon as I knew someone was doing it but recently got so fed up with being bullied off the road I’ve experimented with slowing down loads to try to get it through to them but its impossible to know, probably makes no difference beyond getting them more impatient.
I’ll also just continue, with them on my arse as why should I be inconvenienced into pulling over by anyone? I also don’t want to hold up traffic behind them unnecessarily. Feels horrible though with them bearing down on you and breathing down your neck. Truly terrifying.
Seems like there’s no win.
Thanks Dr. Conte
You are absolutely right, but when im driving and other drivers do something that makes me really mad, i can't control my self.
I will align my expectations with those drivers out there.
Great video
Thanks for this help
Well said doctor! As I’m a motorcycle rider, I should learn to deal with my own road rage to be a safer driver. Safe drive and safe home.
Everyday I’m late for class and I’m rushing to school I get so mad when there is someone actually going the speed limit on a tiny street. I look back in that and see how stupid it is to get mad for someone to be keeping it cool and safe by not speeding and I’m just being extra
You've got me pegged bro
Wow!!!! You have a talent Bro. I request you to keep making videos as much as you can, because you don't realise how much you are reaching out to me. You are so helpful in the most tough situations in life. An amazing guide you are! And for the record, You are not wasting your time one bit, because people are listening to you Dr.!!!
Thank you so much brother. I'm grateful for your kind words. Sending you tons of peace and all the best!
Dr. Christian Conte
You too man! :)
This is literally the Gold Advice! Priceless and very very useful to daily practices!
Nice concept sir! Road rage is a major problem in my country India as well. Very few people tend to follow the traffic rules and the road infrastructure is also not proper at many cities. When someone accidentally bumps to another vehicle, or parks vehicle near someone's shop, people go crazy and sometimes augue and fight like shit. People should understand and keep calm on the road.
I wish they keep that in india. Don't bring that shit driving attitude to the us .
@@lemontree1289look at this guy 😂 Like the US is any better at all
As long as you make all the decisions to deescalate the situation and your life is not being threatened,you are good to go.
Thank you!
Everybody who drives in Vancouver should watch this video!
Thank you! Would really appreciate if you'd be willing to share it. Much peace!
Letting it pass and moving on is very hard when you believe the other guy Did in fact do it just to tick people off. Going into it everyday with a preconceived notion that if you are using blue lights, or high beams or going slow in a suspicions manner, then speeding up once you have slowed and redistanced yourself, or tried to pass, that you are "Rage Baiting". Then ofcourse I feel justified because in my book the lights are illegal and baiting me into a rage to they can in-turn, have justification to rage at me, ram my car, shoot me, or Mob me with a car load of punks or a Bureau of import bikers with go-pro's that have come to render justice cause they saw you not signal 400 yards up the road going the opposite direction, so they gotta come check you n knock on your window.
So with the pre-thinking that reality is what it is, it angers me so bad. I do believe they do it on purpose maybe they weren't waiting on me personally to offend, but they are out offending anyone they can and getting giggles blinding people. So I have to fight passively or end up in jail. Adding another idiot on the road never helps. It's just an Evil society
If you are in a truck people do kinda target you maybe not on a personal level but because a truck is slower, I drive a box truck and really need to change my anger issues to keep my job , so I want to thank you for your time making these videos
This video has been the most helpful. I was in a near fatal accident last year, the traffic in my area is getting worse and worse, and so has my "road rage." This really helped me to understand where it is coming from
I'm at the 5 minute mark, I have all 3 honestly. I also have savere adhd. I am on meds but some days forget to take it. Thanks for the info so far. Time to watch the rest!
im on my 4th week of driving after having my license, and ive come across a few angry drivers at me cause i didnt go immediately in their cartoon world. i obey the rules, i drive safely, and get relaxed, yet it still annoys me that its not good enough. i get mad at guys who get mad at me and cuss at me out the window. i dont look at them or pay much attention to them but its a seed that plants into my head, and i go through that scenario over and over, trying to figure out what i did that is wrong, but then i eventually just get bummed out, and stop caring, like altogether stop caring about other people's feelings. being numb is my fallback and protective shell.
I can't help but feel like I need to take it personally. There are drivers that drive purposefully erratically. They zoom down the road, weaving in and out and tailgate. This is in broad daylight. These people do it to scare people. It's scary when you are a mom of young children and there is this type of aggression on the road. I want to move to a sleepy town where getting to places isn't so scary but who am I kidding, crazies are everywhere.
thank you so much for the video. You made me aware. it was childish.
100%! What a beautiful reaction you have to learning that! That's really what life is all about: Learning. We all struggle. We all mess up. But it's the willingness to set our egos aside that makes all the difference. Definitely sending you all my best and tons of peace!
Thank you Dr., You have just expressed my feelings exactly the way i felt them at those moments.
Thanx for replying and words of encouragement I’ve been watching your video s ,good topics these are things a lot of men need to here including my self, god bless man!
Still viewing this in 2021!
thank you for sharing i appreciate information that will help me deal with my anger, and not feel like i’m giving up my pride and be a better person to society
thank you for the video. I'm from Malaysia where I'm getting so much anger from the food delivery motorcycles that cut lane randomly from behind.
got to say my first impression was this big guy is gona teach some kick ass...
Thank you for saying that, because that's my exact point: I might be a bigger guy, but my whole goal is to use whatever inner strength I have to bring people as much peace as I can. Definitely sending you tons of peace!
Hello!!! Thank-you for all the great information!!!!!! From Canada
Thank you! Sending you much peace!
Main thing that gets me to road rage is the increase of blue lights or jerks that drive with their high beams on all the time
I don't even have this issue. When people cut me off i'm like"Such as life." I have trouble getting angry at people for doing things i've done before.
As a school bus driver, we are trained to let other drivers win. You talk about road rage, look how many people are so impatient and angry at busses.
I get really aggrieved if someone drives badly or cuts me up etc... I've been a better driver over the last year or so so when I encounter a poor driver I say to myself "have I ever done something like that?".
Usually the answer is yes which helps me to excuse their driving and carry on with my day... It still lingers in me for a while but I get over it without reacting.
Thank you for this video. This is a big problem in our society. Unfortunately we seem to be getting more and more individualistic and the concept of sharing the road or looking out for others is getting lost. On top of that our cities are getting more crowded causing traffic which creates more stress. I experience it myself. Someone does something I perceive as wrong and it stays in my head all day. I hope people can start looking at things differently before it's too late.
Need to watch this once in a while...
Great video! Thank you for making me realize what I’ve been doing all this time.
I get road rage quite frequently which is very dangerous and I need to stop 🛑 it for good
Dr conte
Your advise sounds most reasonable and practical to me. I know it is easier thought than done but I will definitely practice over again.
Thank you. God bless you.
I fight everyday against this. Its so stupid, why does my mind works like this!????
Drivers Ed class is making us watch this.
Thank you for this 🙏
Thanks for making this video, it did explain a lot! I have never understand why people get so angry, because when someone cuts me off, drive unsafe or anything else, I do just handle the situation as the most common thing and do not even shrug. It's just what do happen, it can't even get me irritated. After listening to you, I do think that I do understand why I do not react at all. I expect everyone to drive badly even on purpose so when it happens I do know that it was going to happen! I do also know that I can make mistakes and do double check before doing anything.
After a near accident I have no adrenaline because I have been to occupied using the skills and knowledge I already have, so when everything is over, I do start analyzing what I have learned and what I may do better. The though about death or bodily harm, does not enter my mind because if I did got hurt, I would not sit there contemplating.
My second rule is always to have more time then I need, so if I am not sure what to do or what other will do, I have lots of time to slow down or even hold still until the situation is resolved.
There is absolutely a difference between "mistakes" versus intentional attempted-manslaughter. Law enforcement doesn't enforce the law often enough, even when you call them and make a report. Some people NEED the real, immediate, nagative reinforcement. But when they escalate and want to get hostile, people need to remember that the state-statutes regarding justified use of lethal force apply when someone "has vested interest in causing great bodily harm".
Yep, it's about that time I start getting help on my anger. Which is why I found this video. I need to be better that's for sure.
Great info
!!! Wished i could of found you sooner...
Road rage is pointless because you don’t know how the other driver is going to react. They might have a gun on them.
Calling #77 is no good too. They expect you to.pursue the person and then call them to report as it is happening??????
That’s why a drive with a bullet proof vest
I live in a mid-sized city & used to being cut off, etc. When I DO get that rage is when it seems very deliberate, anti-social, unhinged driving. I was cross a two way street and a car pulled up on the opposite crossway and completely blinded me. High beams and extremely bright bulbs. I guess he was offended I was using that driveway? To my credit I just drove off soon as I could but minutes I'm still crazy angry. In other words if I think it's accidental bad driving I'm able to let it go but if it seems delibrate I loose my sh*t. Well, privately. I didn't chase or attack him but I wanted to. Psychopath.
Driving in the passing lane 10 mph under the speed limit is not a mistake once they realize it. How do you know when they realize it? Once they troll you by going even slower or brake checking. The problem is way to many people ARE trying to get a response from you and continue to do so until you are forced to show aggression. You hit a lot of good points here but am hoping for a video that will focus on how to control that anger when people ARE messing with you. It’s easy to distinguish the difference between a mistake and continued behavior.
Thanks for this video. I have been struggling with road rage for many years. I have been in a few accidents that were my fault from a short fuse 😭I need to remember to breath and do the 30 second rule. I also need to remember not to listen to the news. My therapist said if you’re hearing the news about all the bad it will affect your driving. There is always going ti be stupid asshole drivers. I need to keep in mind getting heated could be really bad in the long run! I think I need to start watching this daily!! So thanks for this video! 👍😀
Same here
As a child I was held against my Will. I struggled with road rage when I felt trapped by another driver. When my heart and mind made this connection I healed. I do believe everything happens for a reason.
If you don't feel heard it is only because you are not listening to you
And those who can be fooled need to be.
I learned the hard way. History does not repeat itself. Connection vs control both do not exist in the same world. Control is a cartoon world.
All emotions are equal
You are targeting you, 😆 🤣 😂
Thank you! 🙏 😊
Sir! I am really a person exactly you described in this video! Thank you so much for this video! It has made me realised and helped to tone down my reactions on roads while driving! Thank you so much! I am trying to put this in practice daily!
Thanks for the video, feel alot better
100%. Sending you much peace!
I damaged my car being in a road rage yesterday. I over reacted to another person who provoked me and ended up smashing into the back of a truck. Luckily I was driving slow. Oh yes. I live in Kerala, India. Thank yiu so much doc. I learn new things every day.
thank you for this video!
Hello Dr Conti I struggle with this issue in our society. More and more people are focused on their own satisfaction (me first, take care of your own happiness first). A world famous Jewish man years ago said "offer them your other cheek". His compassion turn into millions of people giving acts of kindness. I believe people need to humble them selves and let some one in front of you in the check out line of life. I attended a funeral in 1991 for a 87 yr old neighbor. he had over two hundred people attend the funeral and burial. Talking with many of them we all agreed he was a very happy man who bragged he never had a fight with his wife. He said happiness is being able to ask your friends and family " what can I do to be better for you" . He asked me one afternoon this same question and I quickly said get a better muffler on your car! Sam said ok, but know that I had the quite one removed when my wife hearing was bad and she missed not being able to meet me at the door when I returned from work. I thought about replacing it after her death but my hearing is bad now and I can hear if I forget to turn the car off in the garage. The next day at 6 am I smiled when he started his car to go get his morning paper. Are we afraid to ask this question to our friends and family? I was but once I learned how, I went into rehab and became a volunteer. Now people wave to me in the store or walking down the street.
Thanks for sharing that story. I agree, life is about so much more than getting upset over the little things. Our time here on Earth is so quick - so it's important to be patient and kind to others. Sending you much peace!
Just today I had a guy tailgate me because a two lane road narrowed to one and he thought I was blocking him. I didn’t even know he was there. Next thing I know I go through a stop sign take a right turn he pulls in front of me slams his brakes on blocking the road and gets out of his car and runs to my window and starts screaming at me. I tried to talk to him but there was no talking to this person. I told him to get back in his car and drive away and he kept screaming at me so I put it in reverse backed up and drove around him into my parking lot. Luckily he disappeared because I was beginning to fear an attack which would have been bad for him.
Thank you for this, Dr. Conte!
I've been searching Google for help on this subject for quite some time and suffering even longer, your 12-minute video (mini-masterpiece!) felt calming and healing like a Mother's cool touch of her hand on her child's feverish forehead. I GOT it, cognitively! Now to get it experientially...
I'm going to listen before sleep and also upon awakening because this was after all an "Awakening".
Lawrence! Thank you. I appreciate your kind words a ton. I have a radio show on Monday nights, please feel free to call in anytime. In the meantime, I am sending you all my best and tons of peace!
saw itbmore than ten times, and yet, difficult to deal with unpolite people on traffic
I had an event today where I was at fault and I raged at the driver, wanting to get out, then backed off, the other driver started raging as well. I realized the mistake I did after leaving and thinking about it for a while. I was stupid to turn it personally and I started looking at solutions on how to fix this. I just wanted to share this since I couldn't tell the other driver this. Don't be stupid like me, it's not worth it. Tbh I'm actually a good guy and this was an exception where the ego fired up and wanted to feel superior.
I someone off by accident once. He sped past me and applied his brakes hard. Then, he tried to run me off the road for about 5 minutes...the scariest 5 minutes of my life.
Helps me a lot to say "he didn't mean to do that! He just got fired and is in his own head." Or "he has explosive diarrhea and is tailgating cuz he doesn't want to poop his pants." But NOTHING helps me when I see people texting while driving. I just feel burning rage. Not sure how to stop that.
Thank You!!🖖🖖
I love you Sir. Needed this.
I just came back from this experience that a car purposely pulled to the side of the road in the middle of driving, just so that this car can be behind me and start honking to my car endlessly, at 7am in a very empty neighborhood. Thank God I resorted to this video!!