I'm 35 but find your reflections so interesting as it helps me to understand my ageing parents, in-laws...and society. Classy channel and very enjoyable to listen to you.
Maybe I’m weird, but I want the emotional connection because it enhances the physical relationship so much more. There is nothing like making love with someone with who you have a deep, intimate, and emotionally safe connection.
You are not weird @rickb7378 it makes sense to want emotional connection with someone you will let into your personal space. Love making requires total trust and eventually letting go of control …
I am in a relationship with a 60 year old woman and I am 72. We met through a mutual friend and we got to know each other for months just as friends. Lots of talking on the phone about grandkids, mutual interests and our value system. We were emotionally intimate before we ever went to bed. Once we did it was off to the races. We were so comfortable with each other that the sex came naturally and wonderful. We joke that we have sex so we can get to the payoff which is falling asleep in each others arms. I can't believe I am able to say this at what are supposed to be the twilight years of my love life, (and found real love).
As a 61 year old man, the difference in the sexual desires of individual women varies greatly. If a man is still capable he's not going to waste his time with a intimacy challenged woman. Life is short at this point
I am also married to a man who also loves sex and has no problems with E.D.,alo Iam am a healthy 76yr. Woman who has never had such a wonderful and generous lover and mate.Lets keep all posabilitys open.
Been married 41 years. We always shared a strong physical chemistry and are still sexually active but intimacy is so much more than that to us. Shared history and being best friends along with sharing interests is huge. Being able to share the enjoyment we takein the successes of our children is also a major boost to our intimacy level.
62 yo woman been married to the same man for 42 years. He is still wanting to be sexually active. Me not so much because he cannot meet my emotional needs. He has no desire for deep intimate conversations and lacks empathy. After healing my codependency issues I have realized I deserve more. Its not just about the sexual act. It has to be deeper for me.
Met a Chinese women in my early 60s , she’s same age , limited communication but she’s a gentle tender soul and we have a great physical connection . At first I wasn’t sure about the lack of verbal connection but now 6 years later I really value a sort of non verbal tenderness. Kind of odd but works
At 68 I'm very happy without a man or relationship. I can't be bothered with all the ups and downs of being with a man. I wore myself out in my younger years trying to work men out and now I couldn't care less. I can still get the attention of men, but pass them by in favour of being with myself. Life is simpler and much more enjoyable.
Sad existence. So much for being a social animal. Find a guy, reproduce, become a loner, kick the guy out - spend rest your life alone, saying how boring life with a man is. Wish you luck !
I'm a 60's male, retired. I can openly admit; I do miss the Intimacy of being both physically & emotionally connected to a committed, loving woman. Honestly, I gave up years ago. I don't even date. When I was dating, the very first thing women wanted to know was what I did for a living. NOT ONE had ANY Interest in ME personally. This was proof these women had no intention of getting to know me, rather than what kind of provider I would be. Now, relationships and Intimacy are not even in view. I enjoy free time, travel, & hobbies. Yes, being alone has its privilege. To answer your question: Women today don't even know how or want to flirt. They seek emotional support from a relationship. Men don't really want to put up with women's hormones, emotions & thick ankles. They just seek PEACE. Men primarily seek sex with a woman in a senior relationship because they seek BOTH an emotional as well as a physical connection. Men also may think about the possibility of their performance dropping off as age increases so they think; "Use it before you lose it." In that line of thought; Yes, Men will seek a younger woman if an older woman cannot fulfill his needs.
With respect, I don’t agree that asking what you do for a living is to suss out if you’ll be a good provider, I will ask because it gives me a better idea of who you are.
@@jayl8034 women today have to endure a barrage of disrespectful comments, and abuse, by way of abusive remarks as they walk past regarding sex...not to mention fear of walking alone at night..fear of being raped and attacked...threatened by so called men, who criticize and judge without looking for second at themselves. Unless of course when they do look at themselves they only justify everything they do. The fact that you make your assumption only because this woman asked you what you did for a living???? I think clearly that your reaction reveals more of who you are ... This woman was probably only trying to make conversation. Contrary to the last person who answered your post I give you no respect. Misogyny is a disease among most men. It would appear your disease is full-blown.
I'm 66 and can't imagine getting into a romantic relationship. Romantic relationships are higher stakes than other types of relationships. I don't want to work that hard.
Me too. At 54 and been thru one psychotic relationship after another I’m too old to keep going thru it. I want a friends with benefits type thing but no strings attached. She has her place and I have mine. She comes over a few times a week and we smash and that’s it
I hear you, but I don't know if I think it's working that hard. It's more like how very difficult it is. People are in such a different place in life, and even young people's marriages fail very often.
I’m 65, divorced, and in great shape ( for a guy in his mid sixties.) However, the thought of having to go through the process of meeting the family, kids, grandkids, etc. ( all of whose names I’ll never remember without a cheat sheet) is not something that I want to go through again.
@@FridaKristensen-g4o Hello Frida. This is not the response that I was expecting. I assumed that someone would criticize me for being so cynical, negative, grumpy, ( take your pick!) I didn’t expect a “ Hello” , but thank you! A very nice gesture . Have a great day! Wherever ( and whom ever ) you are.
@@FridaKristensen-g4o I’m good, Frida. Thanks for asking!And thank you for not being critical of my comment, which sounded like I was just venting. ( What’s ironic is that wasn’t the comment that I originally was going to post, as it didn’t particularly relate to the subject at hand.)
Well, I’m treating myself to a coffee and croissant at the Driftaway Cafe, and then going for a brisk walk on a hiking trail called “ Blueberry Hill”. Probably not nearly as interesting as your day, I suspect!😉
Well, I certainly didn’t expect this. I’m not sure whether to be flattered or frightened. ( I’m pretty sure I’m flattered.) It’s been a while since I’ve spilled my guts to anyone ( the price you pay when you’re not in a relationship, I suppose.) That being said, I’m willing to share a part of me with you, Frida. I’m just not sure which part!😉
Just got back from my hike and saw your post. Glad to know that you’re willing to share, also. I’m a good listener! PS: I’m not sure where this is heading, Frida, but I’m willing to find out.
We have been married for 49 years. We have five kids so have been through the times when sex was really number 20 on our list of priorities but we have always put the effort in to keeping the intimacy in our marriage. When I was 50 and went through menopause I went on HRT (mainly for my bones because osteoporosis is a big risk factor in my family) and therefore don't suffer from vaginal dryness etc. My husband is 70 now and his testosterone levels dropped to the point he had no interest in sex but he felt terrible so went to the doc who put him on some testosterone replacement (cream not injections) which probably worked too well for a while because he described it as going through puberty again. We worked through that and our sex life is back to pretty much normal now and at 68 and 70 we have sex at least 2 or 3 times a week. It's really important to have that intimacy but mostly our intimacy comes from our humour with each other. We laugh and joke with each other (we call it "the banter") all day. I have NO idea how either of us would ever get anything like that again with another partner when one of us is left.
Male, over 70, Thank you for this topic...I would like to share all the complexities of getting 'close'(physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually).
As a 78 year old woman who's been married to the same man for 56 years, having shared history etc. doesn't mean much sexually if your spouse has never been comfortable with being emotionally close. So many men I know in my generation haven't grown emotionally and are stuck in the idea of themselves as being the strong, silent type...in other words, emotionally unavailable. Not saying that there aren't men out there who have developed a desire for closeness beyond but also including their sexuality but I haven't seen it. I think they're a rare breed. I haven't had sex for 18 years and it was a relief to finally say "no" to a partner who just didn't get it and didn't want to try to. I finally gave up. To be honest and free of the pressure of having sex on his terms was a milestone in my own emotional development. I can't say I miss it because it wasn't ever that good. I love my husband but not in an intimate way and that's disappointing and sad. We've had a good life overall but I'd be more aware of my own needs and not as likely to "fake it" if I had it to do over again. We probably wouldn't have gotten married at all if I'd realized this but hindsight is 20/20 and I'm content after having accepted this in this last stage of life. Sex isn't everything but I'd love to have known what a mature sexual connection felt like.
Yes to this. 60 year old widow, widowed 8 years now. Married 29 years and can't say sex was ever that great. I've given up basically on dating and sex. Who needs it and I'm very comfortable in my own skin! I do love men, but at this point I just am fine being a buddy...
This is really sad and my heart goes out to you. My wife and I just read your piece and both of us are so sad that you haven’t been able to be truly intimate for approaching 20 years.
Don’t feel bad about your replies to your post. I think there are more woman who feel like you do but are afraid to say it out loud. Don’t believe everything you hear. Intimacy is so much more than sex.
I think being intimate at any age is the most natural thing - what will change is frequency. I couldn't be in a sexless relationship as that intimacy makes for closeness but equally so does showing regular affection and flirting with each other.
Your videos are wonderful. I really enjoy them. I'm 60 & have been married and divorced twice. It's not what I ever imagined for myself. However, it is what it is. 12 years later and I enjoy every day and very thankful that I get to wake up alive. I'm never alone or lonely because of the relationship I have with my Lord & Savior Jesus Christ. I did like being married & believe in marriage. I'm enjoying my singleness and am ok with staying single the rest of my life. On the other hand, if the Lord has a husband for me, I made a promise to Him years ago, after my 2nd divorce, that I will stay pure/celebate until I am married. I didn't do this in my prior relationships because I was living my life for me. Now that I live my life for Jesus & follow Him, my life has changed completely. I want to honor what He asks of me and always be obedient. Why? Because I love Him, more than anyone, and He is amazing! I do know that a man who truly loves God and loves me will honor Him & respect me by waiting to have sex after marriage. I want a marriage that God blesses. I believe true intimacy is a connection of body, soul & spirit. ❤
Reading your comment made me laugh because it's the exact conversation I've had with God along the same path you've been on. The only difference in our story is that I've been on this journey for 24 years! Still waiting on the Lord and reminding myself that patience is a virtue.😊
Context: I'm male 65, two grown kids, still married 41 years to my high school love. I have never dated anyone else I cared much about (only went on 2-3 dates with another woman). I long to look into my wife's eyes and kiss her and wait without talking just to be in a quiet moment together. I want to do the things she wants because I have learned that she is smarter than I am and these bodies don't work forever and she is motivated to do stuff together and I am a home body. Sex is not on our agenda. Synchronicity or flowing together like two boats down a river is on our agenda. I love it when I can anticipate what she is thinking and I hate the stings when I have made a mistake. We let each other be free with time, hobbies, and money and try to never become mad, or at the very least never retaliate in return if one of us becomes angry. We are both middle children, neither of us is either passive nor dominant. It works. If my wife died before me then I would likely remain single, but be open to female friends without benefits.
I’m 70 my wife is 65. The best sex ever and while frequency is not as often as the everyday sex of my younger years, we both are having the best intimacy ever. We met 15 years ago I was 55. We took it slow and worked through a bunch of things. She gets me. I’m a bit of a challenge. I’m a photographer traveling the world. I took her to the South Pole to marry her. She has now been to Antarctica twice with me. She has travelled on my other adventures too. We have a cool dog and three cats with a great home. I am still doing a lot of things photography wise she is still,working too. And when we find time for intimacy it’s over the edge. I met her online so don’t rule it out.
I love your videos, so glad I discovered your channel!! I'm 58 and lost my beloved husband of 28 years in 2020. I miss him every second of every day. Last year I met an absolutely wonderful man, 63 y.o., who adores and spoils me in every way he can, wants to connect emotionally, mentally and physically, and has asked me to marry him. The problem: I am not physically attracted to him no matter how hard I try. Even though he's definitely a good looking man who takes excellent care of himself. I don't know why I don't feel any physical desire for him but after trying for more than a year I guess it's not going to happen. Recently I met a 46 year old man at a dinner party, turns out we share the same hobby and ended up talking for hours, and we just hit it off, he asked me on a date. I find him very attractive physically but he's too young, I'm afraid it won't last when what I want is a lasting relationship. I want to remarry. However that might just be my fear of loneliness talking, and perhaps it would be best for me to stay alone at this point, not sure, still trying to figure it all out.
Sounds like you have a lot to think about. Maybe have an honest talk with the 63 year old man if you feel you could really consider him marriage material. Ask him how important is the physical, intimate side of marriage to him? On the other hand the 46 year old isn't really that much younger than you so maybe it could be a long lasting relationship?
Thank you for making this video. I thought I was the only who felt this way. Finding out that at this age most men are just looking for sex, I thought it would be different at this age. But found out different while online as you also did. Thank you for sharing, I feel better knowing I’m not the only that feels this way. It is also the reason why I do not go online anymore. I am happy being by myself. I have friends and family that make me happy. I do not need a man to do that for me, never have. Thank you
There is joy in sharing time with the opposite sex. Having a joyous sexual life allows human beings to experience life the right way. Physical touching is important. The absence of it sadness at a level beyond fulfillment! Life is short, why not live it?
@@joshuasingleton802that is a man’s perspective. There’s data out there that proves women don’t “enjoy sex” as much as men. My experience is that you have to fake it to stroke their ego, or be honest and crush their ego. Very few men seem to want to do the work required to help the women enjoy the experience as much as they do. I think that’s why many of us are ok with not having a man/sex as we get older. Men are very mechanical and invest little emotion in the process. That complicates it further and I think we just tire of it all. At least that’s my experience in life and I’m sure I’m not alone!
I haven't changed my thinking of what intimacy is for me over the decades. It starts with hours of conversations over weeks and months where both people are honest and candid and vulnerable. Physical intimacy can't occur before that happens. And sex is even further down the road. If I can't tell you I love you and I'm in love with you, then there will be no sex. Holding hands, hugging, cuddling and kissing are required precursors to sex. I know my love languages and that helps guide me as to whether we can be compatible for the long term. Given a choice of staying at home, listening to chill jazz with lights off and lit candles while cuddling on the couch vs pretty much anything else, I know what I want. With the right woman for me, it's the perfect evening.
At 63 I really don't care about sex any more, and after my husband had open heart surgery he lost his libido. And I lost a lot of mine after menopause. We are content with the way things are. Been married 30 years and together 32 and have a good marriage. It can be good without sex. People put to much emphasis on it IMO, if you want to at 60+ then good for you go for it, but for people like us who don't feel it's something we have to do any more then THAT is ok too as long as we are happy. :) It's a personal thing.
Good for you. And there are many single senior men and women who feel the same and are perfectly fine alone without sex. However, the vast majority of single senior men who enter the dating scene do so for sex. It certainly isn’t to jump through the hoops to fulfill some other senior woman’s ideal for intimacy. If you want certain things out of a relationship, you have to willing to give your partner certain things in return.
@@thomasmoshier3920 If I were ever single again and met a man I liked and could see a future with I would be open of course to sex again if it were important to them, like I mentioned my husband can't really perform well any more. I can go without sex and be happy and content enough, but like I said if I am ever widowed I would be open to it again.
I’ve heard many women say they don’t care to compromise their needs and wants anymore and that many felt like they were raising their husbands along with their children. I certainly think the baby boomer crowd were still being raised with “ this is the woman’s role and this is the man’s role” and us woman did most of the compromising of our wants to raise a family and nurture a career. It’s liberating! I believe women want romance, respect, companionship and conversations over sex…. Just my thoughts
No one has mentioned libido. Known fact after menopause, between 50 and 60 years old, a woman's hormone level is decreased . My personal opinion is sex is overrated . Way other things in a relationship that are more important.
I’m not interested going to bed with a woman until I’ve established an emotional connection. I’ve been called a few names and been told there’s something wrong with me when I’ve turned down sex on the first date. Apparently I’m the oddball from watching this video. I love intimacy but that’s only one part of a relationship at our age. At 66 I want to have shared experiences and enjoy it all with a loving companion I connect with in all aspects.
I have the opposite problem - I don’t care for sex, never really enjoyed it. I know that is weird for a man to say, but personal closeness has always been uncomfortable for me. When I kiss a woman, even my long-term girlfriend, I have to mentally distance - look away, or at least close my eyes. It’s uncomfortable. Sex, to me, was always something I did well or failed at, and each time I didn’t know how it might go. Sex became a chore that I wanted to get over with. These days, I’m even less enthused to be in a clinch with a woman that reminds me of my grandmother! (I’m not just bashing women - I can’t imagine a woman wanting to be intimate with a old coot like me). I always heard that there are women that don’t care for sex, but I haven’t found any. Lack of interest in sex is a dealbreaker for every woman I have known.
Intimacy is quality time together. Holding hands cuddling. Most men are not sexually dead at 60. Exploration is key. ED is real but it can be fun learning how bodies react. Men also crave being pursued by their emotional/intimate partner. Sexual anorexia will kill a relationship, too.
Hi Holly: I liked this video for a number of reasons. I am now in the 7th decade of life and have been “in between” relationships for a number of years now. While sex is an important part in ANY relationship, it is NOT the most important part. When I was younger it rated higher on my list. Now I find it seems to be more trouble than it’s worth. In fact a woman that I met and was kind of interested in shocked me when she came right out and told me “the sex was there but we have to get to know each other first”. Wasn’t expecting that especially as we hadn’t even begun to enter into a relationship. The relationship never materialized because of a number of questions she asked me before this occasion but in a public place where people nearby could hear my responses. I felt like I was being interviewed for a job/security clearance, not just random conversation. Although I am currently alone and probably will remain so for the rest of my life, I do maintain the “Hope of meeting someone”. But with each passing year the Hope gets slimmer and slimmer. But that’s life. Although I’m alone, which I enjoy, I do meet up with my “brunch buddies” a couple of times a week. I can’t say I’m lonely because I’m not. I have just come to accept my status in life as “the old guy”. While I had problems accepting the fact that I’m not “every woman’s idea of the perfect guy” I DID accept it and have move on. And so life goes on….😊
Biologically, men will always be attracted to younger, fertile women. In my early 60s, and i am 3 years into a relationship with a man 12 years older than me. He is very interested in sex. Fortunately, he is sensitive and makes sure i feel desirable, so this helps enormously. Its hard adjusting to our aging bodies after being young and gorgeous for most of our lives.
I am about your age and thought my shop was closed. I met someone who literally lit a fire. This completely surprised and delighted me especially the part about my being attracted to him. So I think it's the same as when we were younger in many ways, although the sex itself is slower. In a lot of dating situations with an older guy, I feel they are just looking for sex and not even thinking about me desiring them so it feels transactional which is a huge turn off for most of us.
I like your comment so much. Lucky you!! It's totally up to me where the relationship is going, as far as sex is concerned. If the gentleman is "too thirsty", it's a turn off.
I was married for 20 years, and after my divorce I quickly learned that for me, it had to be more than just sex. Some connection needed to be made. As for vaginal dryness, there are numerous personal lubricants out there, both his and hers. At 65, patience is in order. It takes us all night to do what we used to do all night.
I totally agree with you. I would not mind having male companionship for dinner (and Dutch is fine) , a movie, and event or concert or whatever. Just interested in a mutual relationship that would enrich our lives. I LOVE living alone. In our 60’s we are all pretty set in our ways. I’m at the age where I don’t feel like living in conflict about anything, especially sex. I’m just interested in being friends. I just moved to a new state and would be interested in making new friendships (male or female.) I have some health issues and I’m just not going to be interested in that anymore. I’m done.
As a man that played the field until 40, then married a dead-lay for 18 years because we were amazing in business together, I must say, that if you and she don’t have burning desire for each-other by the end of the second date, RUN away, and save yourself the agony.
Men of all ages want sex. Older women want companionship and someone to pay the bills. If this is all a man will get, he finds its easier to just get a dog or other pet. Not saying you should put out on the first date but women should understand that men have needs. So man older women feel that they want to be in a relationship but don’t want to have sex.
My Ex is online dating and trying to date any female that will go out with him, BUT he's only looking for sex and someone to do all of the housework, cooking, laundry while he plays video games and has no work or savings. Be careful women! He's charming, but full of promises and an overabundance of lies.
I’m 68, was married for 23 years to a wonderful man until he suddenly got sick and died. Missed him and our marriage terribly. Fast forward 10 years, I reconnect with an old classmate whose wife died of cancer too. We were together for 10 years until he was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and died as well. So terribly sad. I was caregiver to both of them and it was so very hard to care for them in every way possible only to watch them waste away and die. Now is my time to do the things that interest and fulfill me. I would love a companion but fearful of another horrible disease to have to witness. I keep my self in shape, I’m not overweight and have an optimistic attitude but dating seems daunting. Maybe the Golden Bachelor, lol!
Im 65 and in great shape. If you would like a virile man who can also converse and cuddle on the couch we could meet up; Im in the Fernando valley, how about you?
1st , so sorry about your losses, perhaps you can shift to slightly younger man to match your energy. I am 62 and dating a widow that is 84, her figure is not what it was 40 years ago, but she takes very good care of her appearances, very feminine. I just love doing anything I can do to make her smile. It does seem that some ladies get hooked on the idea that a man needs to her be age or older, but it would be beneficial for women in their 60s 70s and 80s to consider men in their 60s to be a good fit because a man at 60 is basically the man at 80
I am 65 and I have had 2 marriages. 1st husband beat me up regularly, he was an alcoholic and I married him at 19, and 2nd husband was abusive sexually, mentally and emotionally for 27 years. I absolutely hate sex now and I will never ever ever be intimate again. I am happy alone, I have no interest in trying to cultivate a sexual relationship. I know because of what happened to me as a young child I seemed to have attracted abusive men in my life and I am done with it. My time is now, and I no longer will waste any time with men because in my opinion these days men are exactly like you said in your other video where they are older and have tons of issues but are looking for a Barbie to make them feel young or whatever. Imagine a guy asking you why you wouldn’t wear makeup on a date?!!! My jaw dropped to the floor when I heard you say that. I just feel that my energy is going to be all for me now, men have nothing I want. No thank you, I am past all that and my days are going to lived for me now. Doing what makes me happy and that would exclude men on every level. I am completely happy alone with my dog.
Great video. This is what I believe, having a partner, lover, or friend is a reflection of who we are at a point in time. People come to our lives to teach us multiple life lessons. It’s important to feel good about ourselves, to prioritize our wellbeing. When you are at the point that feel fulfilled happy, grateful, and positive with your life; it’s when you start attracting people and situations similar to the energy you project. About being in a relationship, the most important relationship that a person can have is with him/herself. To those who are dating and haven’t found a partner, look into yourself. That is the key.
When I first started online dating in my 60s, I believed the old saw about women losing interest with age. Since then, the opposite has been my experience. During COVID, when you really couldn't meet anywhere for the first time, I would be invited to their house and spend the night in every case. Another woman came over to my house for lunch on an initial meeting. After lunch, she stood up and started unbuttoning my shirt. Another woman flew across the country for an initial meeting, and we spent a week in a house on the beach. Another thing that surprised me was that they were game to do just about anything. None of this was anything I actively pursued. This was all initiated on their part. I've never met a woman who was more of a romantic than I am.
Thank you so much for your honest sharing. I'm 88 and my life (probably) would be a touch more comfortable if just 10% of my wants would take a break. I do say this with a smile because the 'wants' do bring a certain light heartedness to my life!!!!!🥰
Many men suffer from ED and don't want to pursue a romantic relationship for fear of the performance, it can make them withdraw from intimacy in fear it might lead to further, they may appear uninterested, boring. So its not all men who want to be active...but there is a general idea out there that men always want it and women don't...hard for the ego to admit for a man but also every situation differs. Men also need to stop watching too much P...kills the drive and it's not real life! .as a 63 yo female , I am full of energy and still have a désire for sex but it is difficult to be always on the same wave length as the other person too and I need some intelligent caring and playful interaction prior and like Ellen DeGeneres would say...be kind to one another.
As a 60 year old man, I don't know any men who are not interested in sex. I had to de virus my dad's computer (he's 94) because he was going on porn sites.
There's an author named Joan Price who has written about senior relationships and intimacy. She also has a channel on RUclips. She is a good source for this sort of information. Both Holly and Joan are very great resources.
I love being alone. I wouldn’t mind finding someone and being in a relationship, but i don’t think senior men know how to go about it. Men always wanted sex quickly when young, but I think they want it even sooner when they’re older because they’re afraid they may never have it again. They also want to find someone to see how their little blue pills are working. I’m not going to be used in that way. I want to find a real gentleman who wouldn’t push being intimate right away, and one who can actually talk and laugh & being friends. There aren’t places for seniors to meet other than the personals, and those don’t work. The men on there really think women are on there looking to have sex with them.
I think when intimacy is not for its biological purpose: to create a new life or to chemically bond with the partner thru oxytocin, you just get a pathetic bastardized version. Someone who just wants to see if his little blue pills work is an example.
There's a common thread in all these female comments, you're picking unevolved boys, not men. So basically, women too are doing the same dumb thing they did at 20... picking bad/incompatible/un-evolved men to get involved with because something about your female perception of reality, of men, of life, is just as out of tune now as when you were 20.
I am 65, I have been told that I look younger than my age and in good shape, and I still have a nice figure. Although I do need to firm up and start working out! But I am right there with you! And I feel the exact same way! It is nice to know that I'm not the only one 😊❤
An interesting topic & your intelligent comments all ring true. My experience with senior men is older brains are still wired to thoughts of sex but hide an inability to perform ie. ER (erectile dysfunction) caused by various health reasons, prostrate being number one. There is no way for a woman to know this, it’s like buying a car & the salesman forgets telling you the car’s engine is rusted out, therefore expect zero performance.
My experience as a 53-year old is that men are just all about sex. Guys my age seem to be players. Its kind of wonky and they also seem to be getting offers from younger and older women so that lets some of them act pretty poorly because they have options. My best friend went on a trip with a man last month (both in 50s) who was very heavy and unkempt and she was not intimate with him. He expected sex. They returned and he posted pics up of him and a much younger woman a week later who was hooking up with him ( single mom in her 30s) and we were both just floored lol that the younger woman was okay with his hygiene etc. He's no prize but he had a lot of options??? I went on a trip with a man my age and he had issues performing. He expected sex after a certain period of time, made himself out to be a sex God, and then was kind of a jerk when he could not perform. I think that factor gives me more anxiety now as I've been in that situation a few time now with older men. No matter how understanding you are it is really an ego thing for them.
Many older men cannot perform anymore. It’s such a let down when you finally decide to be intimate and then that happens. You’re right, these are the ones demanding sex and acting like they are sex gods.
The crux is that many man and women are selfish as hell when they age out and dont want to put out any extra effort to please a partner. As a man in his mid 60s I dont have problems attracting and being with a woman ever, and thats not because I have been told that Im handsome, or tall or even a great kisser, its really because I schooled myself on going down on my girl, and doing it numerous times until she wets the bed, literally from being overexcited. Ive been with women from 19 to 78 and the older one at 78 was better in bed than most of my lovers. So it comes down to being generous with your time, your tongue and your fingers to do the dialing, and when you get good at it, you will NEVER lack for company!
Why would a man date a woman without the expectation of sex at some point? Just to fulfill her emotional needs without getting anything in return? Please! You go on a trip or vacation with a man, the expectation is they’ll be sex involved. That’s just common sense. And don’t act all shocked. If your friend had been honest and told the man no sex will be involved on the trip, he would not have taken her. You’re 53 years old, you understand how the game is played. You’re not 18 even though you may think you look 15 years younger than your current age. Another game older women play. If women want certain things out of a relationship with a man then they must be willing to give certain things to a man in return. First and foremost for most men is sex.
Ewww...bad hygiene is a turn off for most women. There’s this 50ish guy in my neighborhood who thinks he’s a sex god. I believe every woman he has flirted with has turned him down. I actually think of him as a predator. The kind that will undress you with his eyes.
I don't blame you for choosing to be alone. I have chosen to be alone myself for varying reasons, mostly I finally reached an age where I don't want to deal with someone else's drama and I always seem to pick someone with a ton of that. As for the sex aspect, making that the center of a relationship is a disaster in waiting at any age which is probably a contributor to the high divorce rate in this country. I always believed you need to be friends first then let the intimacy come naturally as you grow closer.
At 57, I've learned that compatibility and companionship take priority which ultimately leads to being intimate. I'm in no rush and the only intention I'm looking to create, is to enjoy each other's company doing the simple things in life.
I am a 64 year old male, and dating is hard after 60. Just speaking from my own personal experience in dating after 60, most women seem to be set in their ways. They want what they want, and they are not willing to comprise the things they want. Don't get me wrong, i think a lot of men are set in their ways as well. I know that for me, i am willing to compromise on things like a smoker or a social drinker or other things, and at least from my experience, most women aren't. I am not looking for sex on a first date or even a 2nd or 3rd date. I have to get to know someone and connect with them before I get to that point. But sex is important to me in a relationship. I am not saying sex every day if I am in a relationship, but a couple of times a month would be satisfying. I enjoy your videos.
@@johnlanier3616 How old are you?? I am 61 and once a week is fine with me. No way my wife, who is 59, would consider or desire twice a week. We have been together 40 years.
@@mikecoughlin9437 At my age of 62 once a week is fine, even periods of once a month as long as I know the shop is always "open for business" I anit 18 years old anymore
Lots of older guys want to get laid. What's new with that? It just needs to be up front. People who have no problem with intimacy will find others who have that same comfort zone.
As a 60 year old male, I have not defined myself by being able to 'conquer' a woman at any age... I think that intercourse is an overblown part of any complex relationship. Intimacy s not intercourse, it is a close ness... making love is not about intercourse or an exchange of bodily fluids, but expressing tenderness and the aspects of love such as shared emotions, time together and mutual feelings... To me, giving a partner a massage, or even passionate kissing is as satisfying as 'getting my rocks off'... being able to give something to a special other is an act of love in itself... I have been single since I was widowed at 34, too busy raising three children alone.. now I am a single person again (Adult children have their own lives etc.), I do miss the touch of another human, or the shared connection with another human... just holding hands or a friendly smile would be a bonus for me, and it would take away some of that 'loneliness' that single people often feel... but I am not hormonally driven to 'sow my seed' like some 20 year old anymore... people in their 50's 60's and older need to stop trying to act like 20 year old's... it is not so natural... If there is any biological difference, it is probably hormonal... men have testosterone for life, women tend to change in mid life and the 'urges' are much less... I think a lot of the 'drive' or expectations of older men are from conditioning, esp. when they were younger and that sort of behaviour was normal, encouraged and available. Men don't so much need to lower our standards, or expectations, but we need to change them to be realistic for not just ourselves, our bodies and such, but for our similar aged partners.
I think the official term for vaginal dryness is 'genitourinary syndrome of menopause.' Estradiol vaginal cream is a game changer. Even if intimacy isn't the goal, it helps with a plethora of issues: dryness, bladder spasms, frequent uti's, just all the general discomfort down there after our hormones leave the building. The best part is that it's not absorbed systemically, so even women who don't/can't take hormone replacement therapy can use it. Love your channel.
I just started Estradiol and hope it helps.My doctor never told me after my hysterectomy that I'd lose it if I didn't use it.Celibate for 12 years,the first time was disastrous. I'm almost afraid to try, again.
@@joyce7310Go slow. Biggest sex organ is our brain. If you’re not turned on, if you’re afraid? Unless you like being dominated, make sure you treat sex like your an airplane with a long runway. You’ll know when you’re ready. Go slow. Be patient. When you lose inhibitions you’re gonna notice even in your mind if the desire is there? Sex isn’t always traditional and doesn’t have to be intercourse!
@@elizabethmartin9298 I do not like to text these sedative subjects,As a nurse I know about all medical terms.This is not a story for a subject evaluation. There are some women without these problems and men who do not have E.D.
Intimacy to me is not sex. It is being able to share the most sacred things in my life, the most important things in my life with a person and enjoying their company. Holding hands. Hugging. Enjoying time in conversation. The best date I ever had was a brilliant man, who had two Masters degrees in Engineering, we talked for three hours during dinner and after dinner. Quality communication. I was so flabergasted with how this man was first a gentleman and secondly sex was not on his agenda. He was an absolute perfect date. I could not wait to see him again. Unfortunately I didn't marry him. I wish I did.
I'm 60 now, and intimacy to me has a lot to wirh companionship. Someone to talk to, go out to dinner with or a movie. See is harder and more limited once health issues become revealed. Let's just say having women friends is more important as you get older too
No thanx, I’ll be alone and celibate for the rest of my days…I don’t need a man to feel complete…I’m retired with many interests…I’m 68, and in great shape mentally, physically,and financially…no need to put up with crap…great channel!
@ Many men find me quite intimidating actually…they hate it when a woman is smarter, talented, and independent…guess it bruises the male ego…their loss!
Good for you. I'm trying to meet someone who is right for me. I'm disinterested when a woman has no interests or hobbies beyond food and traveling. Women, do you see a lot of guys who do nothing constructive in their spare time?
It you show any sign of intelligence, that can intimidate a man. I always thought most men liked to talk politics and the stock market. I tried this with a guy recently and he looked perplexed. Deer in the headlights look 😀
i am in a relationship fro 25 years, I am 64 and she is 66. We dispute all the time about our intimacy. She complains that I want sex 24/7 , which of course is a complete nonsense, as a matter of fact, I have some trouble getting it up, due to excessive medication. Last night, she confesses to me she needs almost a week to recover from a simple 20 minute intercourse.. We love each other more than words. I have always been reluctant to take a mistress , because I want to give the 100% of my time and energy only to my beloved one.. I feel despaired.Of course we have been to therapy ; the diagnose was nothing less than hilarious : " You two will do as you please" .
Did the therapist mention Bio-Identical Hormone therapy? Woman have suffered for 20 yrs because of lies that it caused breast cancer. Even though those lies were condemned in 2023 doctors are still reluctant to prescribe them. Find a doctor but it is not covered by insurance but worth every cent if you can afford it.
I met my guy 9 years ago. We were both 61 then. We are still sexually active but definitely like we were when we first met. We are still intimate and set aside time weekly to cuddle and talk and share that time with each other. Sometimes it leads to sex and sometimes it doesn't.
I'm a man and 66. The answer depends on the history people have together. Some lucky people have been together most of their lives and some lucky people have just met. You want to start a new relationship? What do YOU want? Find someone who shares your values. I don't know why you would think meeting and learning to know someone in your sixties should be so different from meeting them in your thirties. Maybe you and your beautiful brown hair have just aged more than me with my grey and white hair. Just go for what YOU want!
After reading about a hundred comments I think the moral of the story is to date people with the same ideas about sex. Nobody will change, especially agter 60 or 70. I'd also decide in advance what happens when one of the them develops health issues and changes their capabilities and desires. A pre nuptial of sorts.
Hi.. 68....I have had 2 long term relationships & one 7 year one. Been single 4 years & celibacy for 4 years. I feel I've had a lot of sex in my life. Been pressured a lot for sex which I didn't enjoy & am over being pressured for sex. I do enjoy sex...but not the pressure from a partner. And it's definitely not as high a priority for me anymore. I am happy on my own. But I am open to the right man...& Right relationship for me. Being content on my own is a good place to be.😊
I am a well fit 72 year-old man. And trying to find a woman around my age is very hard in my area. I am not looking for sex only. Although after getting to know the person well and if we have the same mutual things in common, that would probably be our last thing to find out if we are compatible. Sex is not the only thing, it is not the first thing.
I have not dated for 7 years now, but I have a good friend that could turn into a romantic relationship. We talk about sex and all of its issues at our age all the time. It is nice talking to a man about all these things.
You can forget about a romantic relationship because you’re in the friend zone but there’s always the occasional hookup for relief of some sexual frustration🤗
First I must say, I have never made a comment to any podcastI just listen and watch. I usually listen to young folks and their new dating style is insane. But this time I'm listening to someone my age and I say DAMN what the hell happened to love.
It is VERY rare to find a partner once you've past the years when people usually first get married. Many of those marriages fail. But, it's a whole different story once you're older.....And let's be perfectly honest. Our bodies change. It's not easy to have sex without "outside" help.
"...outside help." Maybe a bit off topic, but I've learned that hormonal replacement therapy can go along way to helping both sexes. The newest discovery of mine is that testosterone helps men (with low T) from getting osteoporosis, just like estrogen helping women (and their bone density). I have more to learn, but it seems to me there's a lot of old faulty data that's keeping physicians from prescribing TRT for both men and women. Unfounded fears of cancer and such. Not to mention the benefits to intimacy.
I am 60 and I have the same experience as another guy here. First date I am asked almost right away is what do I do for a living. Right then it is over for me. I am not looking for sex as I want to connect with someone first. The sex after you both are emotionally connected is amazing. I have really given up on dating to find a lady to grow into a lifelong relationship and hopefully marriage. Love making is so much more than sex, it is sitting on the sofa and turning the TV off when the other person wants to say something, holding someone's hand out of no where, walking by the other person and touching them or saying I love you just because. This to me makes sex a very strong connection. After a couple of years deciding to stay single, that desire has been put on the back burner. Wayyyy back but, there is this person called a doctor that can help me get back on track. Having four businesses helps to keep my mind busy but I do know if I meet someone that I would want to be with I will make that plan. A relationship is about you or me. It is about us.
One of ur videos came up in my feed and I watched. I just clicked on this one. I've never cared to discuss my intimate life with others but for some odd reason other friends have shared things I didnt want to hear. I will say this, I was young and now I'm old, at this stage of life, I feel content. I do find it strange when a young man marries a much older woman. My son's childhood friend has wed a woman who is 30 years his junior. She isn't wealthy or particularly attractive. She is healthy, hard working and bright. His parents like her but would have preferred someone a little younger who could give them grandchildrensome day. She's past her child bearing years and has three grown children two of which are still in their twenties. Much to process ... they seem 2b ok after a year n a half of marriage.
Hello from the Netherlands I am single and over 60, after the death of my partner, and I see dating again as a big challenge. Nothing is comparable to the past and we all carry a backpack with us. Personally, I find love and warmth towards each other more important than sex. It can get that far, yes, but only if a good and trusting bond has been built. Lust is beautiful when you are young, then it is more the physical attraction. For me, going to bed - or having to - during the first date is a no-go. I first want to know what you are like as a person before I open myself up completely emotionally. Falling in love again seems great to me, but I am also cautious. With wrong expectations, you can open yourself up too much to others and become a victim of that. Therefore, first get to know each other and feel whether the expectations and emotions match. If you find a soulmate, then everything will go automatically, because there is trust. Greetings from the Netherlands
Maybe some men aged 50 or 60 had less sex in previous relations then they wanted. And some women aged 50 to 60 had more sex in previous relationship than they wanted but did it for intimicy and connection and to maintain the relationship. Not saying thats always the case.
My 23 year partner passed in 2021 from Covid. I was left a widow at 55. I met a man that was only a few years older than I. He did suffer from ED but, 20 mg of Cialis was all it took. We had a great sex life. I didn’t go into full blown menopause until I was 54 so, yes sex is very important to me.
I’m 65 and never married for sex. In fact, it was kind of a release, because it seemed sex required clearing your head. And neither of us could be present like that. My wife and I both battle mental illness and we were not out to set any records. I married a mirror image of myself. Satisfying indeed. I saw, many years ago, some t.v. anchors describing sex as they got older. “Not as often, but ‘deeper’ they said”. I long for that deepness. I think that it’s real. And the relationships that I had where sex was the main issue, I was always “hitting the wall”. Sensitivity, tenderness, building in passion. Till I tuned in, saw what was there, and then ran away. I want to crash through the wall. Will we be two sweaty, physical, heaving bodies wrestling in unison? Like I imagine my high school sweetheart? The first woman, outside of family, that I ever loved? If I live long enough, who can say? No two women love the same way.
When I tried senior online dating a few men asked me during the first few texts if I would be open to a sexual relationship if we were attracted to one another. They actually told me that if I wouldn’t be interested in a physical relationship there was no reason to continue texting. Needless to say it was a big turnoff to me that they had to ask before we even met.
This made me smile…I think it’s more confident..and laying with your head on your ..lover..husbands chest.. Then things should happen spontaneously…no matter the age..I can not think that any woman who is still in love with their partner should not love the intimacy part…
I dated a man in his late 60s. He bought me lingerie for my birthday. However it was not inherently for me - but for him. I was a little shocked but he wanted me to dress up as a nurse, courtesan, playboy bunny and Madonna. I was furious as we hadn't been intimate yet. At that point we were friends getting to know each other. I'm not interested in such infantile behavior. I'm not a toy. Thankfully for me he took a long hike & never returned.
Once I gained weight after hormonal changes with menopause, I didn’t feel as energetic or attractive and am not attracted to older men for various reasons. Had a very negative experience with a former friend. We dated for 8 mos and it ended in disaster due to his fantasy of who I used to be.
Once I gained 40lbs weight after hormonal changes with menopause, I didn’t feel as energetic or attractive and am not attracted to older men for various reasons. Had a very negative experience with a former friend. We dated for 8 mos and it ended in disaster due to his fantasies yearning for who I USED to be. Before I gained the weight I had been fit and active and had a much better relationship with a man at age 57. So it’s partly me; partly them.
I truly thought mature men would not act like they were 18 and constantly talking about sex. But I was wrong, I got tired of him pretty fast. Sex is important regardless of the age. It all depends on your partner women's bodies change. But I believe you need a mature man, who tries to understand women's body and needs
I have found they get worse as they get older regarding their demand for sex & the way they even go about wanting it. I always know when they say can I ask you a question what their question is going to be. They want to know the last time I had sex. (LOL) I say I just had it last night and it was great. I love to shock them and they deserve it for asking me that. They then want to complain to me their ex wife didn’t want to have sex. I tell them they got tired of having sex with them. It isn’t always the woman’s fault, the man stopped turning her on.
Yep...wife has lost interest in sex in our mid 60s and it's painful after 40 years of marriage. Getting very difficult to remain faithful as I'm not ready for celibacy because she is good with it. Feel like she's not adhering to her wedding vows so why should I.
In my case, there is NO sexual intimacy between my 62 year old wife and myself (67). We have been married for 38 years and her desires really wound down after menopause. Every male friend I have that has been married for a long time says the same thing; their wives simply have no interest in sexual intimacy anymore. "Cuddling, holding hands and watching TV together" are NOT intimacy from a man's perspective. Most older men, who are single, will not be interested in women who don't want to participate in penetrative sexual intimacy and would rather experience intimacy in the form of holding hands and taking a walk together, as you found out, personally.
Enjoy your channel!! I am totally fine alone and not interested in dating at my age in my 60's. I am more happier than I have ever been. I have so many single girlfriends that we do alot of things together!! I also enjoy doing things by myself!!
I've never had sex on my first, second or third date and didn't want to. I do agree that communication was vital, as uncomfortable as it may be, and found your last point interesting. I hadn't thought about it.
I’m 61 never had a woman my own age . Last girlfriend was 48 and her sexual appetite was massive. As a 61 year old it’s important to be fit and eat clean . I have never done internet dating . Would certainly like a woman my own age but havnt found one that does it for me .
I’m 74, my wife is 54. Been married 34 years. For ED I use Cialis successfully. We have sex 5-7 times a week, and are absolutely thrilled with each other. This occurs because our children all have now left home, and we’re “empty nesters.” That’s only been for the last 3 years, so that’s when our freedom manifested, and our frequency of sex began. When kids were home, the sex was 3-4 times a week.
I'm 58 and am choosing to stay single because sex is painful and frequently leads to cystitis. My skin is thinning so even the entrance to my vagina is fragile. I no longer am interested in sex and I don't miss it 🎉
I've been single coming up to year I've found the men are looking for younger women made promise to myself not to do online dating again What i think as mature woman it's the affection that's important to me anyhow Iove your channel your such an inspiration Thank you
At 68 I am no longer interested in sex,maybe because I went into menopause st 39 . I would be interested in the company,connection, and closeness of a male companion. The last time I had Inter coarse it was painful .
For me, it is all about the connection with another personality. It is an emotional experience, an emotional quest even though it involves something so physical. Does the need for intimacy go away as we age? No. Our bodies get older but our emotional desires mature. I wouldn't consider another marriage without intimacy. If a gal is not interested in that, she is overlooking what is a masculine need, not a 'want'. That need for emotional intimacy doesn't go away as men get older (72 BTW). With that said, the relationship needs to be compatible in that regard and if that's mutually zero, that's OK. If folks would rather be single, that's perfectly OK, too, but we can't discount the masculine need for intimacy thinking that love will overcome it; that's emotional immaturity.
I am 66 and my husband (69) and we have been together for almost 40 years. Just this past year I discovered HRT. I am so mad at the medical community for not talking about this. I feel like I am a different person. We have enjoyed renewing our sex life after a 15 year drought. Also, there are so many benefits of HRT that have nothing to do with sex.
![Seungmin "그렇게, 천천히, 우리(As we are)" | [Stray Kids : SKZ-PLAYER]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/kAzmhLHePqU/mqdefault.jpg)
I'm 35 but find your reflections so interesting as it helps me to understand my ageing parents, in-laws...and society. Classy channel and very enjoyable to listen to you.
Same! I’m on my 30s but love this channel! ❤ I pick up on so much
want some actual insight then read the comments from persons that are 60+
@@SvennTveskagg very well said... i agree with you
Maybe I’m weird, but I want the emotional connection because it enhances the physical relationship so much more. There is nothing like making love with someone with who you have a deep, intimate, and emotionally safe connection.
You are not weird @rickb7378 it makes sense to want emotional connection with someone you will let into your personal space. Love making requires total trust and eventually letting go of control …
# In a GOD HONORING Marriage.
Exactly! Without the emotional connection/intimacy, the sex suffers.
Perhaps rare, but not weird :-)
I feel the same.
I am in a relationship with a 60 year old woman and I am 72. We met through a mutual friend and we got to know each other for months just as friends. Lots of talking on the phone about grandkids, mutual interests and our value system. We were emotionally intimate before we ever went to bed. Once we did it was off to the races. We were so comfortable with each other that the sex came naturally and wonderful. We joke that we have sex so we can get to the payoff which is falling asleep in each others arms. I can't believe I am able to say this at what are supposed to be the twilight years of my love life, (and found real love).
I love this for you!!❤
As a 61 year old man, the difference in the sexual desires of individual women varies greatly. If a man is still capable he's not going to waste his time with a intimacy challenged woman. Life is short at this point
@@andrewcreel69 : dear : I waste my time as if I were fifteen...
I am also married to a man who also loves sex and has no problems with E.D.,alo Iam am a healthy 76yr. Woman who has never had such a wonderful and generous lover and mate.Lets keep all posabilitys open.
Congrats to both of you!
Been married 41 years. We always shared a strong physical chemistry and are still sexually active but intimacy is so much more than that to us. Shared history and being best friends along with sharing interests is huge. Being able to share the enjoyment we takein the successes of our children is also a major boost to our intimacy level.
62 yo woman been married to the same man for 42 years. He is still wanting to be sexually active. Me not so much because he cannot meet my emotional needs. He has no desire for deep intimate conversations and lacks empathy. After healing my codependency issues I have realized I deserve more. Its not just about the sexual act. It has to be deeper for me.
Met a Chinese women in my early 60s , she’s same age , limited communication but she’s a gentle tender soul and we have a great physical connection . At first I wasn’t sure about the lack of verbal connection but now 6 years later I really value a sort of non verbal tenderness. Kind of odd but works
I have been with two Asian women and they are great lovers. Very sensual.
I miss my Beijing woman. Best woman ever.
That's great. 80% of communication is non-verbal.
6 years and no effort to learning another language? That's weird.
@@rosacortes5074 I think they had limited communication when they met. It’s been 6 years now …
At 68 I'm very happy without a man or relationship. I can't be bothered with all the ups and downs of being with a man. I wore myself out in my younger years trying to work men out and now I couldn't care less. I can still get the attention of men, but pass them by in favour of being with myself. Life is simpler and much more enjoyable.
I agree 100%
Sad existence. So much for being a social animal. Find a guy, reproduce, become a loner, kick the guy out - spend rest your life alone, saying how boring life with a man is. Wish you luck !
Same situation as you. Happiest I’ve ever been😃
I'm a 60's male, retired. I can openly admit; I do miss the Intimacy of being both physically & emotionally connected to a committed, loving woman. Honestly, I gave up years ago. I don't even date. When I was dating, the very first thing women wanted to know was what I did for a living. NOT ONE had ANY Interest in ME personally. This was proof these women had no intention of getting to know me, rather than what kind of provider I would be.
Now, relationships and Intimacy are not even in view. I enjoy free time, travel, & hobbies. Yes, being alone has its privilege.
To answer your question: Women today don't even know how or want to flirt. They seek emotional support from a relationship.
Men don't really want to put up with women's hormones, emotions & thick ankles. They just seek PEACE. Men primarily seek sex with a woman in a senior relationship because they seek BOTH an emotional as well as a physical connection. Men also may think about the possibility of their performance dropping off as age increases so they think; "Use it before you lose it." In that line of thought; Yes, Men will seek a younger woman if an older woman cannot fulfill his needs.
Well said
Best comment
With respect, I don’t agree that asking what you do for a living is to suss out if you’ll be a good provider, I will ask because it gives me a better idea of who you are.
@@Wolfstar-z7dhe didn’t say never ask and he never said he didn’t or wouldn’t answer
@@jayl8034 women today have to endure a barrage of disrespectful comments, and abuse, by way of abusive remarks as they walk past regarding sex...not to mention fear of walking alone at night..fear of being raped and attacked...threatened by so called men, who criticize and judge without looking for second at themselves. Unless of course when they do look at themselves they only justify everything they do.
The fact that you make your assumption only because this woman asked you what you did for a living????
I think clearly that your reaction reveals more of who you are ... This woman was probably only trying to make conversation. Contrary to the last person who answered your post I give you no respect. Misogyny is a disease among most men. It would appear your disease is full-blown.
Seeking a relationship as a senior, is like buying a car with 300,000 miles on it. Nothing but trouble. 😔.
🤣👍
yep... so totally true...
I prefer the "new car" smell .
@@tikibarry2279 well... usually that smell was from toxic chemicals used in all the plastics ...
@@joelw.948 my Toyota Tacoma had 310,000 miles on it and still ran great.
I'm 66 and can't imagine getting into a romantic relationship. Romantic relationships are higher stakes than other types of relationships. I don't want to work that hard.
Amen!!!!
Me too. At 54 and been thru one psychotic relationship after another I’m too old to keep going thru it. I want a friends with benefits type thing but no strings attached. She has her place and I have mine. She comes over a few times a week and we smash and that’s it
@@Scorned405 And so, in other words, you want an Unpaid Prostitute / Escort Service? Good luck finding that!
I hear you, but I don't know if I think it's working that hard. It's more like how very difficult it is. People are in such a different place in life, and even young people's marriages fail very often.
@@jillsalkin7389 I'm leaning toward eventually living with a female friend or friends. I think that sounds like so much fun after a lifetime of men.
I’m 65, divorced, and in great shape ( for a guy in his mid sixties.) However, the thought of having to go through the process of meeting the family, kids, grandkids, etc. ( all of whose names I’ll never remember without a cheat sheet) is not something that I want to go through again.
@@FridaKristensen-g4o
Hello Frida. This is not the response that I was expecting. I assumed that someone would criticize me for being so cynical, negative, grumpy, ( take your pick!) I didn’t expect a “ Hello” , but thank you! A very nice gesture . Have a great day! Wherever ( and whom ever ) you are.
@@FridaKristensen-g4o
I’m good, Frida. Thanks for asking!And thank you for not being critical of my comment, which sounded like I was just venting.
( What’s ironic is that wasn’t the comment that I originally was going to post, as it didn’t particularly relate to the subject at hand.)
Well, I’m treating myself to a coffee and croissant at the Driftaway Cafe, and then going for a brisk walk on a hiking trail called “ Blueberry Hill”. Probably not nearly as interesting as your day, I suspect!😉
Well, I certainly didn’t expect this. I’m not sure whether to be flattered or frightened. ( I’m pretty sure I’m flattered.) It’s been a while since I’ve spilled my guts to anyone ( the price you pay when you’re not in a relationship, I suppose.) That being said, I’m willing to share a part of me with you, Frida. I’m just not sure which part!😉
Just got back from my hike and saw your post. Glad to know that you’re willing to share, also. I’m a good listener!
PS: I’m not sure where this is heading, Frida, but I’m willing to find out.
We have been married for 49 years. We have five kids so have been through the times when sex was really number 20 on our list of priorities but we have always put the effort in to keeping the intimacy in our marriage. When I was 50 and went through menopause I went on HRT (mainly for my bones because osteoporosis is a big risk factor in my family) and therefore don't suffer from vaginal dryness etc. My husband is 70 now and his testosterone levels dropped to the point he had no interest in sex but he felt terrible so went to the doc who put him on some testosterone replacement (cream not injections) which probably worked too well for a while because he described it as going through puberty again. We worked through that and our sex life is back to pretty much normal now and at 68 and 70 we have sex at least 2 or 3 times a week. It's really important to have that intimacy but mostly our intimacy comes from our humour with each other. We laugh and joke with each other (we call it "the banter") all day. I have NO idea how either of us would ever get anything like that again with another partner when one of us is left.
Thank you , finally a positive comment I can totally relate to.
Thank you so much for sharing!!
You won’t get that wonderful agsin I’m sure !!! But how blessed you are to Still !!! Have it 🙏💖💖🙏truly blessed it’s rare
Male, over 70, Thank you for this topic...I would like to share all the complexities of getting 'close'(physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually).
As a 78 year old woman who's been married to the same man for 56 years, having shared history etc. doesn't mean much sexually if your spouse has never been comfortable with being emotionally close. So many men I know in my generation haven't grown emotionally and are stuck in the idea of themselves as being the strong, silent type...in other words, emotionally unavailable. Not saying that there aren't men out there who have developed a desire for closeness beyond but also including their sexuality but I haven't seen it. I think they're a rare breed. I haven't had sex for 18 years and it was a relief to finally say "no" to a partner who just didn't get it and didn't want to try to. I finally gave up. To be honest and free of the pressure of having sex on his terms was a milestone in my own emotional development. I can't say I miss it because it wasn't ever that good. I love my husband but not in an intimate way and that's disappointing and sad. We've had a good life overall but I'd be more aware of my own needs and not as likely to "fake it" if I had it to do over again. We probably wouldn't have gotten married at all if I'd realized this but hindsight is 20/20 and I'm content after having accepted this in this last stage of life. Sex isn't everything but I'd love to have known what a mature sexual connection felt like.
Wow, if sex just wasn’t that good, why stay? Money? You missed a lot. I’m 64 and my girlfriend is 75, we still have sex.
Yes to this. 60 year old widow, widowed 8 years now. Married 29 years and can't say sex was ever that great. I've given up basically on dating and sex. Who needs it and I'm very comfortable in my own skin! I do love men, but at this point I just am fine being a buddy...
This is really sad and my heart goes out to you. My wife and I just read your piece and both of us are so sad that you haven’t been able to be truly intimate for approaching 20 years.
Don’t feel bad about your replies to your post. I think there are more woman who feel like you do but are afraid to say it out loud. Don’t believe everything you hear. Intimacy is so much more than sex.
It's somewhat over-rated. but I agree, it's nice if your partner will at least try.
I think being intimate at any age is the most natural thing - what will change is frequency. I couldn't be in a sexless relationship as that intimacy makes for closeness but equally so does showing regular affection and flirting with each other.
Your videos are wonderful. I really enjoy them. I'm 60 & have been married and divorced twice. It's not what I ever imagined for myself. However, it is what it is. 12 years later and I enjoy every day and very thankful that I get to wake up alive. I'm never alone or lonely because of the relationship I have with my Lord & Savior Jesus Christ. I did like being married & believe in marriage. I'm enjoying my singleness and am ok with staying single the rest of my life. On the other hand, if the Lord has a husband for me, I made a promise to Him years ago, after my 2nd divorce, that I will stay pure/celebate until I am married. I didn't do this in my prior relationships because I was living my life for me. Now that I live my life for Jesus & follow Him, my life has changed completely. I want to honor what He asks of me and always be obedient. Why? Because I love Him, more than anyone, and He is amazing! I do know that a man who truly loves God and loves me will honor Him & respect me by waiting to have sex after marriage. I want a marriage that God blesses. I believe true intimacy is a connection of body, soul & spirit. ❤
I agree with you 100%.
Reading your comment made me laugh because it's the exact conversation I've had with God along the same path you've been on. The only difference in our story is that I've been on this journey for 24 years! Still waiting on the Lord and reminding myself that patience is a virtue.😊
@Cyberbizbuddy ha,ha, that's interesting. When He fills the void in us, we have a renewing of our mind and our perspective changes. 😉😊
I'm totally in agreement with you. # SAME STORY
Context: I'm male 65, two grown kids, still married 41 years to my high school love. I have never dated anyone else I cared much about (only went on 2-3 dates with another woman). I long to look into my wife's eyes and kiss her and wait without talking just to be in a quiet moment together. I want to do the things she wants because I have learned that she is smarter than I am and these bodies don't work forever and she is motivated to do stuff together and I am a home body. Sex is not on our agenda. Synchronicity or flowing together like two boats down a river is on our agenda. I love it when I can anticipate what she is thinking and I hate the stings when I have made a mistake. We let each other be free with time, hobbies, and money and try to never become mad, or at the very least never retaliate in return if one of us becomes angry. We are both middle children, neither of us is either passive nor dominant. It works. If my wife died before me then I would likely remain single, but be open to female friends without benefits.
Guys youre old
I’m 70 my wife is 65. The best sex ever and while frequency is not as often as the everyday sex of my younger years, we both are having the best intimacy ever. We met 15 years ago I was 55. We took it slow and worked through a bunch of things. She gets me. I’m a bit of a challenge. I’m a photographer traveling the world. I took her to the South Pole to marry her. She has now been to Antarctica twice with me. She has travelled on my other adventures too. We have a cool dog and three cats with a great home. I am still doing a lot of things photography wise she is still,working too. And when we find time for intimacy it’s over the edge. I met her online so don’t rule it out.
I love your videos, so glad I discovered your channel!!
I'm 58 and lost my beloved husband of 28 years in 2020. I miss him every second of every day. Last year I met an absolutely wonderful man, 63 y.o., who adores and spoils me in every way he can, wants to connect emotionally, mentally and physically, and has asked me to marry him. The problem: I am not physically attracted to him no matter how hard I try. Even though he's definitely a good looking man who takes excellent care of himself. I don't know why I don't feel any physical desire for him but after trying for more than a year I guess it's not going to happen. Recently I met a 46 year old man at a dinner party, turns out we share the same hobby and ended up talking for hours, and we just hit it off, he asked me on a date. I find him very attractive physically but he's too young, I'm afraid it won't last when what I want is a lasting relationship. I want to remarry. However that might just be my fear of loneliness talking, and perhaps it would be best for me to stay alone at this point, not sure, still trying to figure it all out.
Sounds like you have a lot to think about. Maybe have an honest talk with the 63 year old man if you feel you could really consider him marriage material. Ask him how important is the physical, intimate side of marriage to him? On the other hand the 46 year old isn't really that much younger than you so maybe it could be a long lasting relationship?
Thank you for making this video. I thought I was the only who felt this way. Finding out that at this age most men are just looking for sex, I thought it would be different at this age. But found out different while online as you also did. Thank you for sharing, I feel better knowing I’m not the only that feels this way. It is also the reason why I do not go online anymore. I am happy being by myself. I have friends and family that make me happy. I do not need a man to do that for me, never have. Thank you
Totally agree with you!
There is joy in sharing time with the opposite sex. Having a joyous sexual life allows human beings to experience life the right way. Physical touching is important. The absence of it sadness at a level beyond fulfillment! Life is short, why not live it?
@@joshuasingleton802that is a man’s perspective. There’s data out there that proves women don’t “enjoy sex” as much as men. My experience is that you have to fake it to stroke their ego, or be honest and crush their ego. Very few men seem to want to do the work required to help the women enjoy the experience as much as they do. I think that’s why many of us are ok with not having a man/sex as we get older. Men are very mechanical and invest little emotion in the process. That complicates it further and I think we just tire of it all. At least that’s my experience in life and I’m sure I’m not alone!
me too!
I haven't changed my thinking of what intimacy is for me over the decades. It starts with hours of conversations over weeks and months where both people are honest and candid and vulnerable.
Physical intimacy can't occur before that happens. And sex is even further down the road. If I can't tell you I love you and I'm in love with you, then there will be no sex.
Holding hands, hugging, cuddling and kissing are required precursors to sex.
I know my love languages and that helps guide me as to whether we can be compatible for the long term.
Given a choice of staying at home, listening to chill jazz with lights off and lit candles while cuddling on the couch vs pretty much anything else, I know what I want. With the right woman for me, it's the perfect evening.
I so agree with what your saying 😊
At 63 I really don't care about sex any more, and after my husband had open heart surgery he lost his libido. And I lost a lot of mine after menopause. We are content with the way things are. Been married 30 years and together 32 and have a good marriage. It can be good without sex. People put to much emphasis on it IMO, if you want to at 60+ then good for you go for it, but for people like us who don't feel it's something we have to do any more then THAT is ok too as long as we are happy. :) It's a personal thing.
Good for you. And there are many single senior men and women who feel the same and are perfectly fine alone without sex. However, the vast majority of single senior men who enter the dating scene do so for sex. It certainly isn’t to jump through the hoops to fulfill some other senior woman’s ideal for intimacy. If you want certain things out of a relationship, you have to willing to give your partner certain things in return.
@@thomasmoshier3920 If I were ever single again and met a man I liked and could see a future with I would be open of course to sex again if it were important to them, like I mentioned my husband can't really perform well any more. I can go without sex and be happy and content enough, but like I said if I am ever widowed I would be open to it again.
I’ve heard many women say they don’t care to compromise their needs and wants anymore and that many felt like they were raising their husbands along with their children. I certainly think the baby boomer crowd were still being raised with “ this is the woman’s role and this is the man’s role” and us woman did most of the compromising of our wants to raise a family and nurture a career. It’s liberating! I believe women want romance, respect, companionship and conversations over sex…. Just my thoughts
How are you doing this evening? You are right about your thoughts.
No one has mentioned libido. Known fact after menopause, between 50 and 60 years old, a woman's hormone level is decreased . My personal opinion is sex is overrated . Way other things in a relationship that are more important.
@@genaneise7146 You must have never had mind bending sex...it's not over rated...it's addicting
@@travelswithmytrauma I do not know if you are a man or woman.Iam not into role playing ,I have no children and his are 30 something.
I’m not interested going to bed with a woman until I’ve established an emotional connection. I’ve been called a few names and been told there’s something wrong with me when I’ve turned down sex on the first date. Apparently I’m the oddball from watching this video. I love intimacy but that’s only one part of a relationship at our age. At 66 I want to have shared experiences and enjoy it all with a loving companion I connect with in all aspects.
@@patrickwade3150 you’re not like most men. Be proud of that, as most women look for a man like you.
@@ChrisLaBellarte Thank you, now to find someone that can appreciate that...🙂
Women asking for sex on the first date with any man is not too bright in my opinion. Just saying
You are a unicorn!
@@patrickwade3150 I do!
I have the opposite problem - I don’t care for sex, never really enjoyed it. I know that is weird for a man to say, but personal closeness has always been uncomfortable for me. When I kiss a woman, even my long-term girlfriend, I have to mentally distance - look away, or at least close my eyes. It’s uncomfortable. Sex, to me, was always something I did well or failed at, and each time I didn’t know how it might go. Sex became a chore that I wanted to get over with. These days, I’m even less enthused to be in a clinch with a woman that reminds me of my grandmother! (I’m not just bashing women - I can’t imagine a woman wanting to be intimate with a old coot like me). I always heard that there are women that don’t care for sex, but I haven’t found any. Lack of interest in sex is a dealbreaker for every woman I have known.
Life alone in 60s now but i miss the intimacy connection but what I really miss is interaction, conversation being wanted..
Intimacy is quality time together. Holding hands cuddling. Most men are not sexually dead at 60. Exploration is key. ED is real but it can be fun learning how bodies react. Men also crave being pursued by their emotional/intimate partner. Sexual anorexia will kill a relationship, too.
Hi Holly:
I liked this video for a number of reasons.
I am now in the 7th decade of life and have been “in between” relationships for a number of years now.
While sex is an important part in ANY relationship, it is NOT the most important part. When I was younger it rated higher on my list. Now I find it seems to be more trouble than it’s worth.
In fact a woman that I met and was kind of interested in shocked me when she came right out and told me “the sex was there but we have to get to know each other first”. Wasn’t expecting that especially as we hadn’t even begun to enter into a relationship.
The relationship never materialized because of a number of questions she asked me before this occasion but in a public place where people nearby could hear my responses. I felt like I was being interviewed for a job/security clearance, not just random conversation.
Although I am currently alone and probably will remain so for the rest of my life, I do maintain the “Hope of meeting someone”. But with each passing year the Hope gets slimmer and slimmer.
But that’s life. Although I’m alone, which I enjoy, I do meet up with my “brunch buddies” a couple of times a week.
I can’t say I’m lonely because I’m not. I have just come to accept my status in life as “the old guy”. While I had problems accepting the fact that I’m not “every woman’s idea of the perfect guy” I DID accept it and have move on.
And so life goes on….😊
3:23 I agree with you. Any sex I've had in my 60's after marriage has totally been with past lovers. No new people. Just people I knew before.
Totally agree with you!
Biologically, men will always be attracted to younger, fertile women. In my early 60s, and i am 3 years into a relationship with a man 12 years older than me. He is very interested in sex. Fortunately, he is sensitive and makes sure i feel desirable, so this helps enormously. Its hard adjusting to our aging bodies after being young and gorgeous for most of our lives.
I am about your age and thought my shop was closed. I met someone who literally lit a fire. This completely surprised and delighted me especially the part about my being attracted to him. So I think it's the same as when we were younger in many ways, although the sex itself is slower. In a lot of dating situations with an older guy, I feel they are just looking for sex and not even thinking about me desiring them so it feels transactional which is a huge turn off for most of us.
I like your comment so much. Lucky you!! It's totally up to me where the relationship is going, as far as sex is concerned. If the gentleman is "too thirsty", it's a turn off.
I was married for 20 years, and after my divorce I quickly learned that for me, it had to be more than just sex. Some connection needed to be made. As for vaginal dryness, there are numerous personal lubricants out there, both his and hers. At 65, patience is in order. It takes us all night to do what we used to do all night.
I totally agree with you. I would not mind having male companionship for dinner (and Dutch is fine) , a movie, and event or concert or whatever. Just interested in a mutual relationship that would enrich our lives.
I LOVE living alone. In our 60’s we are all pretty set in our ways. I’m at the age where I don’t feel like living in conflict about anything, especially sex.
I’m just interested in being friends. I just moved to a new state and would be interested in making new friendships (male or female.) I have some health issues and I’m just not going to be interested in that anymore. I’m done.
I totally feel the same way.
I totally feel the same way.
I still want the intimacy of dating. I'm not ready to give up on intimacy and closeness.
As a man that played the field until 40, then married a dead-lay for 18 years because we were amazing in business together,
I must say, that if you and she don’t have burning desire for each-other by the end of the second date, RUN away, and save
yourself the agony.
Men of all ages want sex. Older women want companionship and someone to pay the bills. If this is all a man will get, he finds its easier to just get a dog or other pet. Not saying you should put out on the first date but women should understand that men have needs. So man older women feel that they want to be in a relationship but don’t want to have sex.
My Ex is online dating and trying to date any female that will go out with him, BUT he's only looking for sex and someone to do all of the housework, cooking, laundry while he plays video games and has no work or savings. Be careful women! He's charming, but full of promises and an overabundance of lies.
So basically he's looking for a maid with benefits, but minus the wallet.
Are you jealous of him maybe
@@TheMiraleah you must be male to say this
@@TheMiraleah you honestly believe I'd like to use, abuse and take advantage of a person? That would be pure evil, not jealousy.
I’m 68, was married for 23 years to a wonderful man until he suddenly got sick and died. Missed him and our marriage terribly. Fast forward 10 years, I reconnect with an old classmate whose wife died of cancer too. We were together for 10 years until he was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and died as well. So terribly sad. I was caregiver to both of them and it was so very hard to care for them in every way possible only to watch them waste away and die. Now is my time to do the things that interest and fulfill me. I would love a companion but fearful of another horrible disease to have to witness. I keep my self in shape, I’m not overweight and have an optimistic attitude but dating seems daunting. Maybe the Golden Bachelor, lol!
Im 65 and in great shape. If you would like a virile man who can also converse and cuddle on the couch we could meet up; Im in the Fernando valley, how about you?
So sorry for your losses and suffering.
1st , so sorry about your losses, perhaps you can shift to slightly younger man to match your energy. I am 62 and dating a widow that is 84, her figure is not what it was 40 years ago, but she takes very good care of her appearances, very feminine. I just love doing anything I can do to make her smile. It does seem that some ladies get hooked on the idea that a man needs to her be age or older, but it would be beneficial for women in their 60s 70s and 80s to consider men in their 60s to be a good fit because a man at 60 is basically the man at 80
I'm so sorry for your loss! Thank you so much for sharing your story
I am 65 and I have had 2 marriages. 1st husband beat me up regularly, he was an alcoholic and I married him at 19, and 2nd husband was abusive sexually, mentally and emotionally for 27 years. I absolutely hate sex now and I will never ever ever be intimate again. I am happy alone, I have no interest in trying to cultivate a sexual relationship. I know because of what happened to me as a young child I seemed to have attracted abusive men in my life and I am done with it. My time is now, and I no longer will waste any time with men because in my opinion these days men are exactly like you said in your other video where they are older and have tons of issues but are looking for a Barbie to make them feel young or whatever. Imagine a guy asking you why you wouldn’t wear makeup on a date?!!! My jaw dropped to the floor when I heard you say that. I just feel that my energy is going to be all for me now, men have nothing I want. No thank you, I am past all that and my days are going to lived for me now. Doing what makes me happy and that would exclude men on every level. I am completely happy alone with my dog.
Great video. This is what I believe, having a partner, lover, or friend is a reflection of who we are at a point in time. People come to our lives to teach us multiple life lessons. It’s important to feel good about ourselves, to prioritize our wellbeing. When you are at the point that feel fulfilled happy, grateful, and positive with your life; it’s when you start attracting people and situations similar to the energy you project. About being in a relationship, the most important relationship that a person can have is with him/herself.
To those who are dating and haven’t found a partner, look into yourself. That is the key.
Well said!
When I first started online dating in my 60s, I believed the old saw about women losing interest with age. Since then, the opposite has been my experience. During COVID, when you really couldn't meet anywhere for the first time, I would be invited to their house and spend the night in every case. Another woman came over to my house for lunch on an initial meeting. After lunch, she stood up and started unbuttoning my shirt. Another woman flew across the country for an initial meeting, and we spent a week in a house on the beach. Another thing that surprised me was that they were game to do just about anything. None of this was anything I actively pursued. This was all initiated on their part. I've never met a woman who was more of a romantic than I am.
Thank you so much for your honest sharing. I'm 88 and my life (probably) would be a touch more comfortable if just 10% of my wants would take a break. I do say this with a smile because the 'wants' do bring a certain light heartedness to my life!!!!!🥰
That sounds depressing to me (a 59 year old guy).
You da' Man! I've got it going on but you're on another level
Many men suffer from ED and don't want to pursue a romantic relationship for fear of the performance, it can make them withdraw from intimacy in fear it might lead to further, they may appear uninterested, boring. So its not all men who want to be active...but there is a general idea out there that men always want it and women don't...hard for the ego to admit for a man but also every situation differs. Men also need to stop watching too much P...kills the drive and it's not real life!
.as a 63 yo female , I am full of energy and still have a désire for sex but it is difficult to be always on the same wave length as the other person too and I need some intelligent caring and playful interaction prior and like Ellen DeGeneres would say...be kind to one another.
As a 60 year old man, I don't know any men who are not interested in sex. I had to de virus my dad's computer (he's 94) because he was going on porn sites.
Gee wizz maybe educational
Wow! 94 & going on porn sites? 😯
@@4seasons546 🤣
@@4seasons546 LOL
I hope to be him at 95
There's an author named Joan Price who has written about senior relationships and intimacy. She also has a channel on RUclips. She is a good source for this sort of information. Both Holly and Joan are very great resources.
Joan is a great writer; she handles the intimacy topics in a very human way.
Thank you for sharing that, I will definitely check out her channel!
I love being alone. I wouldn’t mind finding someone and being in a relationship, but i don’t think senior men know how to go about it. Men always wanted sex quickly when young, but I think they want it even sooner when they’re older because they’re afraid they may never have it again. They also want to find someone to see how their little blue pills are working. I’m not going to be used in that way. I want to find a real gentleman who wouldn’t push being intimate right away, and one who can actually talk and laugh & being friends. There aren’t places for seniors to meet other than the personals, and those don’t work. The men on there really think women are on there looking to have sex with them.
I think when intimacy is not for its biological purpose: to create a new life or to chemically bond with the partner thru oxytocin, you just get a pathetic bastardized version. Someone who just wants to see if his little blue pills work is an example.
There's a common thread in all these female comments, you're picking unevolved boys, not men.
So basically, women too are doing the same dumb thing they did at 20... picking bad/incompatible/un-evolved men to get involved with because something about your female perception of reality, of men, of life, is just as out of tune now as when you were 20.
I’m really loving your channel! So happy I found you! I’m 62 and relating to all your videos. And by the way, you a so gorgeous ❤
I am 65, I have been told that I look younger than my age and in good shape, and I still have a nice figure. Although I do need to firm up and start working out! But I am right there with you! And I feel the exact same way! It is nice to know that I'm not the only one 😊❤
An interesting topic & your intelligent comments all ring true. My experience with senior men is older brains are still wired to thoughts of sex but hide an inability to perform ie. ER (erectile dysfunction) caused by various health reasons, prostrate being number one. There is no way for a woman to know this, it’s like buying a car & the salesman forgets telling you the car’s engine is rusted out, therefore expect zero performance.
LOL : )
Just ask!!!
My experience as a 53-year old is that men are just all about sex. Guys my age seem to be players. Its kind of wonky and they also seem to be getting offers from younger and older women so that lets some of them act pretty poorly because they have options. My best friend went on a trip with a man last month (both in 50s) who was very heavy and unkempt and she was not intimate with him. He expected sex. They returned and he posted pics up of him and a much younger woman a week later who was hooking up with him ( single mom in her 30s) and we were both just floored lol that the younger woman was okay with his hygiene etc. He's no prize but he had a lot of options??? I went on a trip with a man my age and he had issues performing. He expected sex after a certain period of time, made himself out to be a sex God, and then was kind of a jerk when he could not perform. I think that factor gives me more anxiety now as I've been in that situation a few time now with older men. No matter how understanding you are it is really an ego thing for them.
Many older men cannot perform anymore. It’s such a let down when you finally decide to be intimate and then that happens. You’re right, these are the ones demanding sex and acting like they are sex gods.
The crux is that many man and women are selfish as hell when they age out and dont want to put out any extra effort to please a partner. As a man in his mid 60s I dont have problems attracting and being with a woman ever, and thats not because I have been told that Im handsome, or tall or even a great kisser, its really because I schooled myself on going down on my girl, and doing it numerous times until she wets the bed, literally from being overexcited. Ive been with women from 19 to 78 and the older one at 78 was better in bed than most of my lovers. So it comes down to being generous with your time, your tongue and your fingers to do the dialing, and when you get good at it, you will NEVER lack for company!
Why would a man date a woman without the expectation of sex at some point? Just to fulfill her emotional needs without getting anything in return? Please! You go on a trip or vacation with a man, the expectation is they’ll be sex involved. That’s just common sense. And don’t act all shocked. If your friend had been honest and told the man no sex will be involved on the trip, he would not have taken her. You’re 53 years old, you understand how the game is played. You’re not 18 even though you may think you look 15 years younger than your current age. Another game older women play. If women want certain things out of a relationship with a man then they must be willing to give certain things to a man in return. First and foremost for most men is sex.
Ewww...bad hygiene is a turn off for most women. There’s this 50ish guy in my neighborhood who thinks he’s a sex god. I believe every woman he has flirted with has turned him down. I actually think of him as a predator. The kind that will undress you with his eyes.
@@avamartinez8586 Your the problem or he would be preforming, might take 2 or 3 days for most
I don't blame you for choosing to be alone. I have chosen to be alone myself for varying reasons, mostly I finally reached an age where I don't want to deal with someone else's drama and I always seem to pick someone with a ton of that. As for the sex aspect, making that the center of a relationship is a disaster in waiting at any age which is probably a contributor to the high divorce rate in this country. I always believed you need to be friends first then let the intimacy come naturally as you grow closer.
At 57, I've learned that compatibility and companionship take priority which ultimately leads to being intimate. I'm in no rush and the only intention I'm looking to create, is to enjoy each other's company doing the simple things in life.
I am a 64 year old male, and dating is hard after 60. Just speaking from my own personal experience in dating after 60, most women seem to be set in their ways. They want what they want, and they are not willing to comprise the things they want. Don't get me wrong, i think a lot of men are set in their ways as well. I know that for me, i am willing to compromise on things like a smoker or a social drinker or other things, and at least from my experience, most women aren't. I am not looking for sex on a first date or even a 2nd or 3rd date. I have to get to know someone and connect with them before I get to that point. But sex is important to me in a relationship. I am not saying sex every day if I am in a relationship, but a couple of times a month would be satisfying. I enjoy your videos.
A couple of times a month is completely unacceptable. A couple of times a week maybe, but not a month.
@@johnlanier3616 How old are you?? I am 61 and once a week is fine with me. No way my wife, who is 59, would consider or desire twice a week. We have been together 40 years.
@@mikecoughlin9437 56
@@mikecoughlin9437 At my age of 62 once a week is fine, even periods of once a month as long as I know the shop is always "open for business" I anit 18 years old anymore
Online dating ages 42 through 52 was the same. Men just wanted sex. Im 57 now. Will never go back.
Lots of older guys want to get laid. What's new with that? It just needs to be up front. People who have no problem with intimacy will find others who have that same comfort zone.
As a 60 year old male, I have not defined myself by being able to 'conquer' a woman at any age... I think that intercourse is an overblown part of any complex relationship. Intimacy s not intercourse, it is a close ness... making love is not about intercourse or an exchange of bodily fluids, but expressing tenderness and the aspects of love such as shared emotions, time together and mutual feelings...
To me, giving a partner a massage, or even passionate kissing is as satisfying as 'getting my rocks off'... being able to give something to a special other is an act of love in itself... I have been single since I was widowed at 34, too busy raising three children alone.. now I am a single person again (Adult children have their own lives etc.),
I do miss the touch of another human, or the shared connection with another human... just holding hands or a friendly smile would be a bonus for me, and it would take away some of that 'loneliness' that single people often feel... but I am not hormonally driven to 'sow my seed' like some 20 year old anymore... people in their 50's 60's and older need to stop trying to act like 20 year old's... it is not so natural...
If there is any biological difference, it is probably hormonal... men have testosterone for life, women tend to change in mid life and the 'urges' are much less... I think a lot of the 'drive' or expectations of older men are from conditioning, esp. when they were younger and that sort of behaviour was normal, encouraged and available.
Men don't so much need to lower our standards, or expectations, but we need to change them to be realistic for not just ourselves, our bodies and such, but for our similar aged partners.
Insightful and well said!
You sound like a great man for a nice woman
@@davidking3699 I like your way of thinking. You sound like a great guy!
You are not the norm. The norm is all of those interpersonal qualities you described and a healthy sex life.
The main reason I do not want to date in my 50's is that I don't want to have to fend someone off me every night.
No offense, but at 50 you are not fending off many people. It's not you personally, but it is your age. We all get older.
@@slhilliard AMEN!
@@johnlanier3616you’d be surprised
😂
I think the official term for vaginal dryness is 'genitourinary syndrome of menopause.' Estradiol vaginal cream is a game changer. Even if intimacy isn't the goal, it helps with a plethora of issues: dryness, bladder spasms, frequent uti's, just all the general discomfort down there after our hormones leave the building. The best part is that it's not absorbed systemically, so even women who don't/can't take hormone replacement therapy can use it. Love your channel.
Note : Not all women suffer menopausal symptoms some are sweet and healthy, enjoying the freedom of not having that monthly mess 😊
I just started Estradiol and hope it helps.My doctor never told me after my hysterectomy that I'd lose it if I didn't use it.Celibate for 12 years,the first time was disastrous. I'm almost afraid to try, again.
@@joyce7310Go slow. Biggest sex organ is our brain. If you’re not turned on, if you’re afraid? Unless you like being dominated, make sure you treat sex like your an airplane with a long runway. You’ll know when you’re ready. Go slow. Be patient. When you lose inhibitions you’re gonna notice even in your mind if the desire is there? Sex isn’t always traditional and doesn’t have to be intercourse!
@@elizabethmartin9298 I do not like to text these sedative subjects,As a nurse I know about all medical terms.This is not a story for a subject evaluation. There are some women without these problems and men who do not have E.D.
Intimacy to me is not sex. It is being able to share the most sacred things in my life, the most important things in my life with a person and enjoying their company. Holding hands. Hugging. Enjoying time in conversation. The best date I ever had was a brilliant man, who had two Masters degrees in Engineering, we talked for three hours during dinner and after dinner. Quality communication. I was so flabergasted with how this man was first a gentleman and secondly sex was not on his agenda. He was an absolute perfect date. I could not wait to see him again. Unfortunately I didn't marry him. I wish I did.
Oh...why not?
Trust me, sex was on his agenda. He either was not attracted to you or he thought that you were not attracted to him.
@@joannajohnson696 Sounds wonderful!
I'm 60 now, and intimacy to me has a lot to wirh companionship. Someone to talk to, go out to dinner with or a movie. See is harder and more limited once health issues become revealed. Let's just say having women friends is more important as you get older too
i am 68 and i still want sex but there’s no one i want at this point to have it with! 😂
I'm 62 and feel the same. I don't need any blue pills, just a good partner.
@@marlyspulos1849 😂
Good defense mechanism
You are so nice and correct. I have no idea if i ever want a man againe .
No thanx, I’ll be alone and celibate for the rest of my days…I don’t need a man to feel complete…I’m retired with many interests…I’m 68, and in great shape mentally, physically,and financially…no need to put up with crap…great channel!
@ Many men find me quite intimidating actually…they hate it when a woman is smarter, talented, and independent…guess it bruises the male ego…their loss!
@ Yes I did…had a very happy marriage of over 20 yrs, then he passed away after a long chronic illness…he was a superb human being!
Good for you. I'm trying to meet someone who is right for me.
I'm disinterested when a woman has no interests or hobbies beyond food and traveling.
Women, do you see a lot of guys who do nothing constructive in their spare time?
@ Yes, especially within the older age group of men…all they seem to want to do is “hang out” and do nothing interesting…
It you show any sign of intelligence, that can intimidate a man. I always thought most men liked to talk politics and the stock market. I tried this with a guy recently and he looked perplexed. Deer in the headlights look 😀
i am in a relationship fro 25 years, I am 64 and she is 66. We dispute all the time about our intimacy. She complains that I want sex 24/7 , which of course is a complete nonsense, as a matter of fact, I have some trouble getting it up, due to excessive medication. Last night, she confesses to me she needs almost a week to recover from a simple 20 minute intercourse.. We love each other more than words. I have always been reluctant to take a mistress , because I want to give the 100% of my time and energy only to my beloved one.. I feel despaired.Of course we have been to therapy ; the diagnose was nothing less than hilarious : " You two will do as you please" .
Did the therapist mention Bio-Identical Hormone therapy? Woman have suffered for 20 yrs because of lies that it caused breast cancer. Even though those lies were condemned in 2023 doctors are still reluctant to prescribe them. Find a doctor but it is not covered by insurance but worth every cent if you can afford it.
I would be very skeptical about what your wife is telling you. However, their are many other things a woman can do for a man in the bedroom.
Bruh, you do know there are other cultures on this planet.
I met my guy 9 years ago. We were both 61 then. We are still sexually active but definitely like we were when we first met. We are still intimate and set aside time weekly to cuddle and talk and share that time with each other. Sometimes it leads to sex and sometimes it doesn't.
No man enjoys cuddling. If he tells you he does, he's lying
@@johnlanier3616 Lol, I guess my guy is pretty convincing!
@@2late2date-h2t lol
@@2late2date-h2t Good men enjoy cuddling, shallow men do not enjoy cuddling....
I'm a man and 66. The answer depends on the history people have together. Some lucky people have been together most of their lives and some lucky people have just met. You want to start a new relationship? What do YOU want? Find someone who shares your values. I don't know why you would think meeting and learning to know someone in your sixties should be so different from meeting them in your thirties. Maybe you and your beautiful brown hair have just aged more than me with my grey and white hair. Just go for what YOU want!
After reading about a hundred comments I think the moral of the story is to date people with the same ideas about sex. Nobody will change, especially agter 60 or 70. I'd also decide in advance what happens when one of the them develops health issues and changes their capabilities and desires. A pre nuptial of sorts.
Ill be 61 next montth,I choose celibacy for Spiritual reasons for the last 10 years,its what works for Me.😊
Hi.. 68....I have had 2 long term relationships & one 7 year one.
Been single 4 years & celibacy for 4 years.
I feel I've had a lot of sex in my life.
Been pressured a lot for sex which I didn't enjoy & am over being pressured for sex.
I do enjoy sex...but not the pressure from a partner.
And it's definitely not as high a priority for me anymore.
I am happy on my own.
But I am open to the right man...& Right relationship for me.
Being content on my own is a good place to be.😊
I am a well fit 72 year-old man. And trying to find a woman around my age is very hard in my area. I am not looking for sex only. Although after getting to know the person well and if we have the same mutual things in common, that would probably be our last thing to find out if we are compatible. Sex is not the only thing, it is not the first thing.
I have not dated for 7 years now, but I have a good friend that could turn into a romantic relationship. We talk about sex and all of its issues at our age all the time. It is nice talking to a man about all these things.
It might time to let things evolve, it sounds like you both care a lot about each other.
You can forget about a romantic relationship because you’re in the friend zone but there’s always the occasional hookup for relief of some sexual frustration🤗
First I must say, I have never made a comment to any podcastI just listen and watch. I usually listen to young folks and their new dating style is insane. But this time I'm listening to someone my age and I say DAMN what the hell happened to love.
@@donaldmccall5658 never really existed
Hello Donald
It is VERY rare to find a partner once you've past the years when people usually first get married. Many of those marriages fail. But, it's a whole different story once you're older.....And let's be perfectly honest. Our bodies change. It's not easy to have sex without "outside" help.
"...outside help." Maybe a bit off topic, but I've learned that hormonal replacement therapy can go along way to helping both sexes. The newest discovery of mine is that testosterone helps men (with low T) from getting osteoporosis, just like estrogen helping women (and their bone density). I have more to learn, but it seems to me there's a lot of old faulty data that's keeping physicians from prescribing TRT for both men and women. Unfounded fears of cancer and such. Not to mention the benefits to intimacy.
I am 60 and I have the same experience as another guy here. First date I am asked almost right away is what do I do for a living. Right then it is over for me. I am not looking for sex as I want to connect with someone first. The sex after you both are emotionally connected is amazing. I have really given up on dating to find a lady to grow into a lifelong relationship and hopefully marriage. Love making is so much more than sex, it is sitting on the sofa and turning the TV off when the other person wants to say something, holding someone's hand out of no where, walking by the other person and touching them or saying I love you just because. This to me makes sex a very strong connection. After a couple of years deciding to stay single, that desire has been put on the back burner. Wayyyy back but, there is this person called a doctor that can help me get back on track. Having four businesses helps to keep my mind busy but I do know if I meet someone that I would want to be with I will make that plan. A relationship is about you or me. It is about us.
One of ur videos came up in my feed and I watched. I just clicked on this one. I've never cared to discuss my intimate life with others but for some odd reason other friends have shared things I didnt want to hear. I will say this, I was young and now I'm old, at this stage of life, I feel content. I do find it strange when a young man marries a much older woman. My son's childhood friend has wed a woman who is 30 years his junior. She isn't wealthy or particularly attractive. She is healthy, hard working and bright. His parents like her but would have preferred someone a little younger who could give them grandchildrensome day. She's past her child bearing years and has three grown children two of which are still in their twenties. Much to process ... they seem 2b ok after a year n a half of marriage.
Hello from the Netherlands
I am single and over 60, after the death of my partner, and I see dating again as a big challenge. Nothing is comparable to the past and we all carry a backpack with us.
Personally, I find love and warmth towards each other more important than sex. It can get that far, yes, but only if a good and trusting bond has been built. Lust is beautiful when you are young, then it is more the physical attraction.
For me, going to bed - or having to - during the first date is a no-go. I first want to know what you are like as a person before I open myself up completely emotionally. Falling in love again seems great to me, but I am also cautious.
With wrong expectations, you can open yourself up too much to others and become a victim of that. Therefore, first get to know each other and feel whether the expectations and emotions match. If you find a soulmate, then everything will go automatically, because there is trust.
Greetings from the Netherlands
I am a 66 year old man and now find I want to get to know the person well before jumping in the sack. I need to be comfortable first.
@ I am doing well thanks
Maybe some men aged 50 or 60 had less sex in previous relations then they wanted.
And some women aged 50 to 60 had more sex in previous relationship than they wanted but did it for intimicy and connection and to maintain the relationship.
Not saying thats always the case.
My 23 year partner passed in 2021 from Covid. I was left a widow at 55. I met a man that was only a few years older than I. He did suffer from ED but, 20 mg of Cialis was all it took. We had a great sex life. I didn’t go into full blown menopause until I was 54 so, yes sex is very important to me.
I can say there is a difference. I agree, I have no more interest in sex. I truly believe Viagra is the ruin of relationships.
I can tell your single...........
I’m 65 and never married for sex. In fact, it was kind of a release, because it seemed sex required clearing your head. And neither of us could be present like that. My wife and I both battle mental illness and we were not out to set any records. I married a mirror image of myself. Satisfying indeed. I saw, many years ago, some t.v. anchors describing sex as they got older. “Not as often, but ‘deeper’ they said”. I long for that deepness. I think that it’s real. And the relationships that I had where sex was the main issue, I was always “hitting the wall”. Sensitivity, tenderness, building in passion. Till I tuned in, saw what was there, and then ran away. I want to crash through the wall. Will we be two sweaty, physical, heaving bodies wrestling in unison? Like I imagine my high school sweetheart? The first woman, outside of family, that I ever loved? If I live long enough, who can say? No two women love the same way.
When I tried senior online dating a few men asked me during the first few texts if I would be open to a sexual relationship if we were attracted to one another. They actually told me that if I wouldn’t be interested in a physical relationship there was no reason to continue texting. Needless to say it was a big turnoff to me that they had to ask before we even met.
This made me smile…I think it’s more confident..and laying with your head on your ..lover..husbands chest..
Then things should happen spontaneously…no matter the age..I can not think that any woman who is still in love with their partner should not love the intimacy part…
I dated a man in his late 60s. He bought me lingerie for my birthday. However it was not inherently for me - but for him.
I was a little shocked but he wanted me to dress up as a nurse, courtesan, playboy bunny and Madonna.
I was furious as we hadn't been intimate yet. At that point we were friends getting to know each other. I'm not interested in such infantile behavior. I'm not a toy. Thankfully for me he took a long hike & never returned.
Once I gained weight after hormonal changes with menopause, I didn’t feel as energetic or attractive and am not attracted to older men for various reasons. Had a very negative experience with a former friend. We dated for 8 mos and it ended in disaster due to his fantasy of who I used to be.
Once I gained 40lbs weight after hormonal changes with menopause, I didn’t feel as energetic or attractive and am not attracted to older men for various reasons. Had a very negative experience with a former friend. We dated for 8 mos and it ended in disaster due to his fantasies yearning for who I USED to be. Before I gained the weight I had been fit and active and had a much better relationship with a man at age 57. So it’s partly me; partly them.
I can't even get a "thank you" after a date.
I truly thought mature men would not act like they were 18 and constantly talking about sex. But I was wrong, I got tired of him pretty fast. Sex is important regardless of the age. It all depends on your partner women's bodies change. But I believe you need a mature man, who tries to understand women's body and needs
I have found they get worse as they get older regarding their demand for sex & the way they even go about wanting it. I always know when they say can I ask you a question what their question is going to be. They want to know the last time I had sex. (LOL) I say I just had it last night and it was great. I love to shock them and they deserve it for asking me that. They then want to complain to me their ex wife didn’t want to have sex. I tell them they got tired of having sex with them. It isn’t always the woman’s fault, the man stopped turning her on.
Senior intimacy is "mostly" interesting for women who are in new and/or younger relationships.
Yep...wife has lost interest in sex in our mid 60s and it's painful after 40 years of marriage. Getting very difficult to remain faithful as I'm not ready for celibacy because she is good with it. Feel like she's not adhering to her wedding vows so why should I.
The term dirty old man isn't a myth.
Some of the most vulgar digusting people ive dealt with are females ( prostitutes).
In my case, there is NO sexual intimacy between my 62 year old wife and myself (67). We have been married for 38 years and her desires really wound down after menopause. Every male friend I have that has been married for a long time says the same thing; their wives simply have no interest in sexual intimacy anymore. "Cuddling, holding hands and watching TV together" are NOT intimacy from a man's perspective. Most older men, who are single, will not be interested in women who don't want to participate in penetrative sexual intimacy and would rather experience intimacy in the form of holding hands and taking a walk together, as you found out, personally.
Agree with not wanting to deal with issues at this point…been there done that.
Enjoy your channel!! I am totally fine alone and not interested in dating at my age in my 60's. I am more happier than I have ever been. I have so many single girlfriends that we do alot of things together!! I also enjoy doing things by myself!!
Love that!
I've never had sex on my first, second or third date and didn't want to. I do agree that communication was vital, as uncomfortable as it may be, and found your last point interesting. I hadn't thought about it.
I’m 61 never had a woman my own age . Last girlfriend was 48 and her sexual appetite was massive. As a 61 year old it’s important to be fit and eat clean . I have never done internet dating . Would certainly like a woman my own age but havnt found one that does it for me .
I’m 74, my wife is 54. Been married 34 years. For ED I use Cialis successfully. We have sex 5-7 times a week, and are absolutely thrilled with each other. This occurs because our children all have now left home, and we’re “empty nesters.” That’s only been for the last 3 years, so that’s when our freedom manifested, and our frequency of sex began. When kids were home, the sex was 3-4 times a week.
Thank you so much for sharing!
For men physical connection is how he connects to your soul! Women connect differently! Men will never be happy in a sexless marriage!
I'm 58 and am choosing to stay single because sex is painful and frequently leads to cystitis. My skin is thinning so even the entrance to my vagina is fragile. I no longer am interested in sex and I don't miss it 🎉
Look into Bio-Identical Hormone therapy. Not covered by insurance but worth it if you can afford it.
I've been single coming up to year I've found the men are looking for younger women made promise to myself not to do online dating again
What i think as mature woman it's the affection that's important to me anyhow
Iove your channel your such an inspiration Thank you
At 68 I am no longer interested in sex,maybe because I went into menopause st 39 . I would be interested in the company,connection, and closeness of a male companion. The last time I had Inter coarse it was painful .
I think a lot of women share your opinion
For me, it is all about the connection with another personality. It is an emotional experience, an emotional quest even though it involves something so physical.
Does the need for intimacy go away as we age? No. Our bodies get older but our emotional desires mature. I wouldn't consider another marriage without intimacy. If a gal is not interested in that, she is overlooking what is a masculine need, not a 'want'. That need for emotional intimacy doesn't go away as men get older (72 BTW).
With that said, the relationship needs to be compatible in that regard and if that's mutually zero, that's OK. If folks would rather be single, that's perfectly OK, too, but we can't discount the masculine need for intimacy thinking that love will overcome it; that's emotional immaturity.
I am 66 and my husband (69) and we have been together for almost 40 years. Just this past year I discovered HRT. I am so mad at the medical community for not talking about this. I feel like I am a different person. We have enjoyed renewing our sex life after a 15 year drought. Also, there are so many benefits of HRT that have nothing to do with sex.