I wish I'd watched this video before I tried to be heard. At that point I had no idea of her determination not to hear. No matter how I went in, she'd just shut me down. I have to accept I've been frozen out of the family. It's too late.
Ha! I'm an ENFP actually :) So happy you found me. Please let me know if there are any topics you'd like to hear about in Season 7 (you can find all 300 episodes on my website along with corresponding blog posts and lots of other freebies if you want to do some digging around). Have a wonderful day!
Hi! Thank you for all the free advice and free tools! I have been reading your book on Boundaries which I love!!! I believe I need to take a deeper dive into my anxious attachment style and letting go of a toxic relationship with unhealthy attachments. Could you recommend episodes I should listen or relisten to or books I should read?
So glad you like the book! I have a chapter in their about attachment styles that goes pretty in-depth and here's an episode on letting go of toxic relationships: abbymedcalf.com/why-people-chase-toxic-relationships-and-unavailable-partners-2/
MY MOTHER won't have the conversation. The range of strategies she uses to avoid conversation is so frustrating but she doesn't seem to recognise that she's doing it. From her point of view, there is *one* perspective (hers) so any attempt to have a conversation around that is an aggressive attack. She has shut me down and called me aggressive. There is one way of looking at things. *THE END* Fall into line or be frozen out of the family. My dad just backs her up.
Oy! Sorry you're struggling like this with your family. As I commented to someone else, then your choice becomes, "What kind of boundaries do I need to draw here to keep myself safe and serene?" I have a ton of free information about boundaries in the podcast so you can do a keyword search and get lots of tips and strategies for making that happen. In the meantime, sending love and patience as you move forward.
@@AbbyMedcalfThriving tHANKS, your channel is excellent, will be binging on it now. I feel like my mother's boundary is ''if you want to be in my life, you reflect back my view of myself''. This caused me a lot of hurt and confusion for the last four years but I'm getting through it now. I had therapy, but it's not a magic wand. Or maybe I just take a while to absorb the messages. Back on my feet now. But it's all so sad and so unnecessary and I am trying to radically accept it.
It's very true that the other person doesn't always change - keep the focus on how you can change. What boundaries do you need to draw? What else can you think (not do) in this situation? It's about empowering yourself ultimately (easier said than done, I know).
I wish I'd watched this video before I tried to be heard. At that point I had no idea of her determination not to hear. No matter how I went in, she'd just shut me down. I have to accept I've been frozen out of the family. It's too late.
Very helpful approach
Great content! Glad I came across your channel. I’m interested to know your MBTI type. I’m picking up EXFJ vibes.
Ha! I'm an ENFP actually :) So happy you found me. Please let me know if there are any topics you'd like to hear about in Season 7 (you can find all 300 episodes on my website along with corresponding blog posts and lots of other freebies if you want to do some digging around). Have a wonderful day!
@@AbbyMedcalfThriving fellow ENFP here!
@@flordepelotudo Love it!!
Hi! Thank you for all the free advice and free tools! I have been reading your book on Boundaries which I love!!! I believe I need to take a deeper dive into my anxious attachment style and letting go of a toxic relationship with unhealthy attachments. Could you recommend episodes I should listen or relisten to or books I should read?
So glad you like the book! I have a chapter in their about attachment styles that goes pretty in-depth and here's an episode on letting go of toxic relationships: abbymedcalf.com/why-people-chase-toxic-relationships-and-unavailable-partners-2/
this is amazing abby. thank you so much for this video. are you accepting clients currently ?
I'm so happy this one resonated! I've got a bit of a wait list but you can find out how I work, pricing, etc here: abbymedcalf.com/lets-connect/
MY MOTHER won't have the conversation. The range of strategies she uses to avoid conversation is so frustrating but she doesn't seem to recognise that she's doing it. From her point of view, there is *one* perspective (hers) so any attempt to have a conversation around that is an aggressive attack. She has shut me down and called me aggressive. There is one way of looking at things. *THE END* Fall into line or be frozen out of the family. My dad just backs her up.
Oy! Sorry you're struggling like this with your family. As I commented to someone else, then your choice becomes, "What kind of boundaries do I need to draw here to keep myself safe and serene?" I have a ton of free information about boundaries in the podcast so you can do a keyword search and get lots of tips and strategies for making that happen. In the meantime, sending love and patience as you move forward.
@@AbbyMedcalfThriving tHANKS, your channel is excellent, will be binging on it now. I feel like my mother's boundary is ''if you want to be in my life, you reflect back my view of myself''. This caused me a lot of hurt and confusion for the last four years but I'm getting through it now. I had therapy, but it's not a magic wand. Or maybe I just take a while to absorb the messages. Back on my feet now. But it's all so sad and so unnecessary and I am trying to radically accept it.
Yepppp I am tired
Relationships can feel like a lot of work sometimes. Sending you a big hug!
The other person doesn't always change, not if they're 100% backed up by a co-dependent spouse.
It's very true that the other person doesn't always change - keep the focus on how you can change. What boundaries do you need to draw? What else can you think (not do) in this situation? It's about empowering yourself ultimately (easier said than done, I know).
Self-regulation is sexy.