I am the table

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  • Опубликовано: 9 ноя 2024

Комментарии • 391

  • @drpibisback7680
    @drpibisback7680 3 года назад +999

    Fun fact, the nearly two minutes of Hetfield repeating that he's a table on loop is basically exactly what listening to the entirety of Lulu is like. Just add an elderly man rambling about sex and violence and weird shit and you've got the whole experience.

    • @patoren3gou653
      @patoren3gou653 2 года назад +56

      I know it's because my sense of humor is pretty low brow but i actually find this hilarious

    • @PelozoF
      @PelozoF 2 года назад +66

      @@patoren3gou653 Not "a" table, THE table

    • @salvatorecirasola634
      @salvatorecirasola634 2 года назад +1

      @@PelozoF lmaooooo

    • @whitepeter619
      @whitepeter619 2 года назад +10

      That's basically what it's like to listen to any Metallica song honestly.

    • @jacobread8767
      @jacobread8767 Год назад

      @@whitepeter619 you idiot

  • @cupchamp5
    @cupchamp5 3 года назад +630

    When James was young, he was told by his parents he could be anything he wanted to be in life. So he became a table.

    • @okjeffy6581
      @okjeffy6581 2 года назад +3

      How did you know

    • @blumblumgaming44
      @blumblumgaming44 Год назад +6

      *THE table. The best table.

    • @saudude2174
      @saudude2174 4 дня назад

      this comment is extra funny when you realise Hetfield's parents basically told Hetfield the exact opposite his entire, short childhood - that he can't be anything he wants to be and that his desires are sinful

  • @root19733
    @root19733 3 года назад +861

    Why'd you leave the keys upon James Hetfield?

  • @DavidFlores-vz9hk
    @DavidFlores-vz9hk 3 года назад +1206

    megadeth: i am the king
    anthrax: i am the law
    slayer: i am the antichrist
    metallica:

    • @del1verer
      @del1verer 3 года назад +19

      i keep laughing every time i see this comment

    • @ritammukherjee6943
      @ritammukherjee6943 3 года назад +19

      They probably were the creeping death..
      Take that seriously man..

    • @ehlert6195
      @ehlert6195 2 года назад +9

      @@ritammukherjee6943 ?

    • @ozgurovec
      @ozgurovec 2 года назад +14

      i am creeping death

    • @ChristianF15cher
      @ChristianF15cher 2 года назад +1

      I lol’d

  • @emilymatthews2990
    @emilymatthews2990 5 лет назад +584

    Imagine Mr. Hetfield shopping for tables in Ikea.

    • @cheetosunpuffed7906
      @cheetosunpuffed7906 4 года назад +44

      What can I help you with sir... yeah I was looking for tables but the problem is, I AM THE TABLE

    • @maurosoto9910
      @maurosoto9910 4 года назад +8

      And has come true, check out the Metallica page

    • @hellomeyoutube5563
      @hellomeyoutube5563 4 года назад +9

      He is a table

    • @AllOuttaBubblegum123
      @AllOuttaBubblegum123 4 года назад +20

      He lives in IKEA, in the dining furniture section. Because "He is the table"

    • @begone1934
      @begone1934 3 года назад +3

      He'd get loaded on a cart, unpacked, assembled and spend the rest of his existence in a dentist waiting room

  • @CastorGriego1987
    @CastorGriego1987 3 года назад +267

    James: I am the table
    Lars: And I am the snare

  • @JungleJim
    @JungleJim 3 года назад +82

    A: What do you "bring to the table"?
    B: I am the table.

  • @cupchamp5
    @cupchamp5 3 года назад +491

    Table 'em all
    Ride the table
    Master of tables
    And justice for table
    The table album
    Table
    ReTable
    St. Table
    Table Magnetic
    Hard Wired to self destruct table

  • @elkyubi4281
    @elkyubi4281 4 года назад +116

    When poetry goes wrong

  • @Rtiller33
    @Rtiller33 3 года назад +282

    If james is the table, does that makes Lars, Kirk and Robert the chairs?

    • @ApXucBuH
      @ApXucBuH 2 года назад +50

      no, it makes Robert a stool. Because crab walk

    • @zedus1238
      @zedus1238 2 года назад +13

      @@ApXucBuH I always though of Rob as a recliner chair lol

    • @alfonzo_
      @alfonzo_ 2 года назад +1

      lars is the metal trash can

    • @josephfabriziodawson5566
      @josephfabriziodawson5566 2 года назад +29

      Lars is the footrest. He's too short to be a chair

  • @russellpage1080
    @russellpage1080 Год назад +54

    James: I am the table
    Lars: I am the snare
    Kirk: I am the wah
    Rob: I am the crab
    Leu: I am the worst

  • @AllOuttaBubblegum123
    @AllOuttaBubblegum123 4 года назад +193

    Did he mention that he's a table?

  • @jackotrades0888
    @jackotrades0888 Год назад +77

    Being a fan of SOAD and Metallica is fun because you get all the table memes

    • @skyfrost2784
      @skyfrost2784 10 месяцев назад

      Lol same here!

    • @missy_of_strange868
      @missy_of_strange868 9 месяцев назад +7

      So the lies from the tablecloth are also from the table

  • @purpleguy9002
    @purpleguy9002 4 года назад +100

    0:10
    This is my wallpaper now

    • @savvas773
      @savvas773 3 года назад +10

      T H E M A N B E H I N D T H E S L A U G H T E R

    • @Dumb_Killjoy
      @Dumb_Killjoy 3 года назад

      It's mine too

    • @Nobody2879
      @Nobody2879 3 года назад +8

      0:12 this is mine

    • @hias8096
      @hias8096 День назад

      my tablepaper

  • @ashleighsalinas8526
    @ashleighsalinas8526 Год назад +56

    Why is this still just as hilarious as it was back in the day lol I'm laughing harder as it goes on 💀

    • @Dewitt-b8n
      @Dewitt-b8n Месяц назад

      Greatest thing ever recorded

  • @blockedjuser1272
    @blockedjuser1272 Год назад +10

    He is pretty convincing maybe he really is the table.

    • @otseifaroumhe9698
      @otseifaroumhe9698 Месяц назад

      i think so
      there are Tables in this Ikea, that sing that They are the Hätfields 😳

  • @Dumb_Killjoy
    @Dumb_Killjoy 3 года назад +63

    "I am all this" has been my wallpaper for a month

  • @kignznui
    @kignznui 4 года назад +49

    yeah.. *t a b l e*

  • @jcplays5831
    @jcplays5831 3 года назад +62

    How many “I am the table”s can you get through without laughing
    Mine is 4

  • @tntisbased
    @tntisbased 3 года назад +53

    Oh my god there's a table at Ikea called hatfield

  • @rawhashbrown2814
    @rawhashbrown2814 Год назад +22

    they will be on tour next year to support their new album 72 tables

  • @labrecfc3271
    @labrecfc3271 7 лет назад +64

    Papa Table

  • @Bigglesworthicus
    @Bigglesworthicus 2 года назад +35

    If you're a thrash band and gathered your good reputation from doing that well, you need to be *very* careful if you want to transition into more 'arty' stuff or you get... this

  • @juluigugui6795
    @juluigugui6795 3 года назад +40

    Lyrics: I am the view, I am the table, I am the view, I am the table, I am all this, I am the root, Bla bla bla, just says i am the table

  • @robynreeeee
    @robynreeeee 3 года назад +18

    him: what do you bring to the table?
    me:

  • @rainreigns
    @rainreigns 4 года назад +28

    Ok, you are the table

  • @AvengerofWarcraft
    @AvengerofWarcraft 3 года назад +19

    This just in, James Hetfield learned how to build tables.

  • @GordonSlamsay
    @GordonSlamsay Год назад +7

    Thanki you, Maffew for making this a certified hood classic

  • @Phoenix0F8
    @Phoenix0F8 2 года назад +20

    I may or may not have listened to this during my hour long commute yesterday and transcended to a higher plane of existence

  • @Ticonderous1
    @Ticonderous1 2 года назад +22

    I still can't believe that this is an actual thing that Metallica did....LMFAO all day to this..

  • @joseph_rolli
    @joseph_rolli 4 года назад +33

    How do I like a video twice?

    • @sboi5592
      @sboi5592 3 года назад +8

      Like the video, then unlike it, then like it again

  • @goldmantis5850
    @goldmantis5850 3 года назад +13

    I AM THE TABLE
    *guitar riff*
    *everyone claps*

  • @admiralissimus
    @admiralissimus 3 года назад +31

    Serj Tankian approves

  • @ken45y
    @ken45y 3 года назад +13

    Had to search where this came from. Someone used it in a prank phone call to Caribbean cruise lines!😆

  • @MegaMustaine87
    @MegaMustaine87 3 года назад +20

    Amazing chorus transcription!

  • @fudido1
    @fudido1 6 лет назад +24

    No, *I* am the table!

  • @JCStorm76
    @JCStorm76 Год назад +18

    I haven’t laughed this hard in ages

  • @erbengalita
    @erbengalita Год назад +13

    ''you dont get it skyler im not in table, I AM THE TABLE.'' -walter whitefield

  • @pragatsharma1580
    @pragatsharma1580 3 года назад +26

    all botchamnia scenes especially that sabu one instantly come to my mind and i can't stop laughing listeningt to this

  • @jawonsh1592
    @jawonsh1592 6 лет назад +20

    *_I am the table_*

  • @m1ch43l_k
    @m1ch43l_k 5 лет назад +24

    Best song ever

  • @tcbcrotmg
    @tcbcrotmg 7 месяцев назад +2

    Lous lyrics: 😢🤔😭😈
    James lyrics: |===|

  • @del1verer
    @del1verer 3 года назад +10

    14 dislikes are from kings, laws and antichrists

  • @michaelgonzales92mg
    @michaelgonzales92mg Год назад +1

    Can't fool me Mr. Table, I know that S.O.D riff when I hear it! Lol

  • @GustavoOliv
    @GustavoOliv 6 лет назад +31

    James Tablefield

  • @peni5head
    @peni5head 3 года назад +7

    "I am the table"💔

  • @theray2009
    @theray2009 Год назад +2

    I will never think about a kitchen table the same again

  • @halfgenieboy0610
    @halfgenieboy0610 9 месяцев назад +1

    He plays the guitar and he's the lead singer.
    And most importantally,he IS the table

  • @MrGoodNapatTV
    @MrGoodNapatTV 8 месяцев назад +1

    Such meaningful.

  • @rifumomdaka5062
    @rifumomdaka5062 4 года назад +6

    I AM THE TABLE !

  • @monimoni-v6u
    @monimoni-v6u 8 месяцев назад +3

    is it just me who listed to the entire two minutes of fucking ''i am the table"

    • @PrettyboyAshtun
      @PrettyboyAshtun 5 месяцев назад

      i just couldn’t get enough of it

  • @kaybeeva
    @kaybeeva 3 года назад +5

    Came here from BotchAMania

  • @toniclementegarcia6656
    @toniclementegarcia6656 8 месяцев назад +1

    I need 12 hours of this everyday

  • @walterjorg4449
    @walterjorg4449 3 года назад +5

    I wonder if James is the table...? Anyone heard him saying that?

  • @RobMann4872
    @RobMann4872 Год назад +2

    I liked the part when he said "I am the table"

  • @ValentinoGagliano
    @ValentinoGagliano Месяц назад +1

    POV: you are the table

  • @philiphunn194
    @philiphunn194 3 года назад +4

    **Botchamania intensifies**

  • @MetalMilitia83
    @MetalMilitia83 Год назад +1

    I feel like James would get a kick out of this

  • @Sakurareviews
    @Sakurareviews 4 месяца назад +1

    beatles: i am the walrus
    emperor: i am the black wizards
    audioslave: i am the highway
    metallica: *I A M T H E T A B L E*

  • @DanielSarkissian
    @DanielSarkissian Год назад

    Came for the view, stay for the table

  • @EpicEthan1029
    @EpicEthan1029 Год назад +2

    As much as Lulu sucks, you gotta admit that this riff is pretty damn cool

  • @asurlybarber3620
    @asurlybarber3620 2 года назад +1

    Thanos: I am inevitable.
    James Hetfield: And I am the table.

  • @jamiesonscott7577
    @jamiesonscott7577 4 года назад +2

    Now, take your TABLET lady 😄

  • @sstaners1234
    @sstaners1234 3 года назад +2

    I blame Lars.

  • @JudgeDrey
    @JudgeDrey 2 года назад +3

    I can never remember the name of this damn song.

  • @hmao4466
    @hmao4466 3 месяца назад

    Love this song...

  • @SeedOilFitnessOfficial
    @SeedOilFitnessOfficial Месяц назад

    Hetfield when he plays Prop Hunt:

  • @kirk767
    @kirk767 4 года назад +7

    Category:education

  • @saudude2174
    @saudude2174 4 дня назад

    When James Hetfield walks out of Ikea, the alarms go off.

  • @MetaMetallic
    @MetaMetallic 2 года назад +25

    National anthem for all modern women

    • @sunburn7533
      @sunburn7533 Год назад +9

      I have been staring at this comment for 5 minutes trying to figure it out. what does that supposed to mean. what does that supposed to mean. i am so confused

    • @ashleighsalinas8526
      @ashleighsalinas8526 Год назад +1

      And yet you still can't get any 😹

    • @Diabhork
      @Diabhork Год назад +3

      @@sunburn7533 it's the national anthem for all modern women. Modern women are tables

    • @scr4932
      @scr4932 Год назад +2

      @@sunburn7533 Q: What do you "bring to the table"?
      A: I am the table.

  • @Hoscitt
    @Hoscitt 5 месяцев назад

    The Hätfield IKEA thing is top tier 😄

  • @infinityinfinityinfi
    @infinityinfinityinfi Год назад +1

    Modern Black woman's theme song.

  • @Clown90125
    @Clown90125 2 года назад

    Just a quick question. What does he sing after the 43rd "I am the table" ? I can't quite make it out.

  • @JudgeDrey
    @JudgeDrey 2 года назад

    "OK James, one more time."
    "From the top everyone! Take 59!" "Aaaaannnnd.... 👉 "

  • @SealAngel
    @SealAngel 2 года назад

    DEVON?.......GET THE TABLE!!!!!

  • @AMabud-lv7hy
    @AMabud-lv7hy 7 месяцев назад

    When you ask her what she'd bring to the table

  • @antrigeorgiou9143
    @antrigeorgiou9143 4 года назад +1

    Hi! James very good video and we miss you guy !!!!!! I love you james!!!!!😉😉😉😋😋😋😉😉😉

  • @vicarialsteak3771
    @vicarialsteak3771 2 года назад +2

    google translate in 2015 be like:

  • @MightyKombat
    @MightyKombat 2 месяца назад

    Maffew must be eternally grateful to James Hetfield for this.

  • @stoogel
    @stoogel 2 года назад +2

    What do you bring to the table?

  • @seanodonnell9826
    @seanodonnell9826 Год назад +1

    Ikea needs to release the Hetfield signature model!

  • @kevinmurdoch4184
    @kevinmurdoch4184 Год назад +2

    But is the Table James??? 🤔🤔🤫

  • @11037_kuwata
    @11037_kuwata 4 года назад +5

    WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZE

  • @SlyHikari03
    @SlyHikari03 Год назад +1

    0:10 I love this part.

  • @kubakiller
    @kubakiller 3 года назад +1

    Obi-wan never told you what happened to the table..

  • @susragejr477
    @susragejr477 Год назад +1

    How did this band get an album in the library of Congress

  • @santiagojavierfernandezord4558
    @santiagojavierfernandezord4558 Год назад +1

    Metallica: I am the table
    Beetles: I am the walrus

    • @tcbcrotmg
      @tcbcrotmg 7 месяцев назад +1

      I was thinking about that today lol🧌

  • @cliffhass9158
    @cliffhass9158 Год назад +1

    I actually Like the Riffs in this Song

  • @Milo_Saifullah
    @Milo_Saifullah Год назад +1

    keep in mind that this is the same guy who wrote master of puppets💀

  • @Mf_deditzzz
    @Mf_deditzzz Год назад

    When the band goes to the bar and the drinks are on hetflid

  • @gudjonmar664
    @gudjonmar664 2 года назад +1

    guys i think he's the table

  • @DeathMetalThrasher
    @DeathMetalThrasher 2 года назад +2

    I like the part where he says I am the table

  • @rumplestiltskin1336
    @rumplestiltskin1336 Месяц назад

    table doesnt even sound like a word anymore

  • @datukareemaralling4832
    @datukareemaralling4832 4 года назад +2

    I am the table 😂

  • @Gilbert_Dice_Gottfried
    @Gilbert_Dice_Gottfried 9 месяцев назад

    HE IS THE TABLE

  • @williambarbancon4562
    @williambarbancon4562 2 года назад

    « Ain’t bring nothing to the table? I am the table »

  • @mekhyz
    @mekhyz Год назад

    what can you bring into the table?
    james hetfield: I AM THE TABLE

  • @NatheerTheExample
    @NatheerTheExample Год назад +2

    Guys I think he’s the table

  • @fatboy10001
    @fatboy10001 Год назад

    I just wanna be the table, i don't have enough table power to be the TABLE

  • @U4n5k1n4o8wn
    @U4n5k1n4o8wn 2 года назад +1

    I'M A TABLE!!!!!!!!