I’ve been super heckin paranoid of how I act around my friends. I’m watching these sorts of videos cause I just get really scared that I could be hurting my friends subconsciously.
Maybe it's more of a sign of a minor form of anxiety. (But I'm not an expert) Or, I mean, if you're concerned with how you are seen by people, or how they view your personality, then even if you do occasionally act badly, it could be from the desperation to be good or even perfect and perfection is likely non-existent save in the eye of the beholder. It's a fact of life that arguments will happen. That people might get hurt by the slightest remarks. Often, it isn't the fault of a single person or even a single event. What is more important than trying to be the perfect friend, is learning how to best resolve such an issue so that the fewest number of people feel hurt because of it for the shortest amount of time to prevent long-term damage. But since this damage is often caused by multiple factors, you shouldn't worry about arguments and wrongly formed words and phrases hurting your friends over a longer period of time. Just relax and you'll find that when you stop being as nervous, the irritability and tendency to say things without much thought drops at least a little. And with that, there's a smaller chance you might accidentally offend or upset your friends. Besides, if you choose to smile instead of worrying, someone is bound to smile back. (Unless you're in an overcrowded bus or waiting in a line, or you've been staring creepily at a person for more than 5 seconds... etc.)
Literally today I just ended a relationship with "the constant victim" every time I would say something or ask for them to be nicer they would complain and tell me what I'm doing wrong.
Me too, yesterday he texted me and said tell me if you're better after we broke up so I can relaxe and be better..like mf you hurted me don't act like a victim trying to check on me
Did anybody else have a particular person who came to mind with every single type? edit: if you know someone who is toxic, immediately get them out of your life. You do NOT have to be around people who make you feel like shit. Sometimes it can be difficult to do but it is worth your happiness. And for the people who are toxic, remember that you have the ability to control how you react to the trauma you’ve experienced in your life. You don’t have to end up like the people who raised you. Being toxic also taints your life just as much as it taints others.
For the people questioning if they’re manipulative there’s something HUGELY important the video left out... It’s all about Intent. If you act in the ways this video described consciously or with the knowing intent to get what you want in life, that’s manipulation. But without intent or truly not even recognizing that you do these things isn’t manipulation, it’s simply character flaws. If you see yourself in this video in any way, don’t beat yourself up. Now that you see it, keep it in the front of your mind and do your best to avoid that behavior. Eventually it’ll become the new norm! :) P.S I’m no Saint and I’m speaking from experience here to. #5 is definitely what I’m working on changing about myself for the better right now!
I lived in a toxic relationship for seven years. This person has every one of these traits and more besides. Did they act with intention? Who knows! Because it’s inbuilt, part of their personality and has been since their emotional development was arrested at an early age! So to say that if you act in this manner unintentionally is not toxic then that is not strictly true. Manipulative individuals know what they’re doing but don’t know how not to do it! This is the sole reason these people are unable to sustain any form of relationship long term of any kind, family, friendship or romantic relationships.
Kronic Viveros are you talking about yourself? If so then you’re half way there to helping yourself! You’re “self-aware “. Talk to a therapist who is trained in narcissism or narcissistic traits. And please, for the love of all that is holy, be honest and to the point! Don’t try to manipulate the therapist, you’ll be shooting yourself in the foot!
Yeah when I was in high school I was being manipulated with out knowing cause I didn't know what being manipulated meant at that time. Also when I yelled at someone for bullying me they'd always play the victim and tell some one that I cussed them out, which is something that I did.
....... The one that lives here still blames me if he forgets his vitamins etc. I don’t think I would ever have married if I knew what it would be like. Live next door, do things together but after the first year spend the nights in my own house. Gads, there’s no life that doesn’t revolve around what he likes. We only eat what he likes etc. Now I’m annoyed, ha.
You guys should really make longer videos. They're too shallow, don't go into any details. It's no use for me to know the names of certain behaviors without knowing how to recognize them, why they exist, where, to what extent, how to avoid them. Any other channel would make a 10 minute video about this, at least.
www.inspire-wellness.org/the-10-types-of-emotional-manipulators/ This article is what I believe the video is based off of and it goes a bit more into depth on the different types of manipulators. Hope this helped ^^
+TheDangerWolf Unfortunately that article only offers more details about recognizing the alleged categories of misbehavior. Really, this is just a list of "10 behaviors which are rather broadly infuriating" and there is zero psychological material to be had. Should we add new categories, like "The RUclips Commentor" or "The guy who's jokes just aren't funny"? What would really set categories like that apart from the ones already listed here? There are no studies or research presented (either in video or in the article that you offer), there is no indication that the *9* behaviors listed (number 10 literally being "all of the above") do not duplicate (I think that 1 and 3, 5 and 9 are just describing the same thing in barely different ways for example..) or that they are exhaustive (I can think of another 10 unique ways to emotionally manipulate off the top of my head!) or that they are even harmful or relevant (one-upsmanship .. or .. just condescension.. is manipulative *how* again, instead of just being irritating?) Emotional manipulation isn't the topic here, it's clickbait viewer manipulation that bothers me. :P
Happ MacDonald I never said it showed how to be one, just it goes into depth on what they are. Plus, I don't think anyone can really do an article on how to be one without actually being one and that would mean sharing something that is usually looked down at by society. And if someone were to make an article on how to be one, it'd be extremely difficult for manipulation is usually by intuition and not by finding a book called Manipulation for Dummies 101. It would require immense research and knowing when and what to do in certain situations, what to do when dealing with certain people, etc. People may want to know who is a manipulator and how one acts rather than their actions so they can look for one themselves and stay away if they wished. It's a confusing topic because this is based on human psychology and humans are some of, if not, the most complicated being on earth.
Same I was w them for a year my dumbass ignored my gut n I finally blocked my ex Thursday they mentally abused me n did all these things in this video she said. I don't get it why do ppl use others 💔😔
I'm in a toxic friendship with someone who uses a couple of these techniques. It's crazy, seems like everyone falls at her feet because not only is she manipulative; she's also gorgeous. She can easily turn the shallow ones into her puppets
I've been there before and I can't believe it's been nine months already. I slowly distanced myself to her and if she asked why, I simply tell her that she knows what she did. If she ever tried to get me back, I kindly tell her to ask help from her other friends. One of her friends harassed me multiple times in the process and the worst thing is that she embarrasses me in public. I also cut contact with her other friends slowly. Not only did I hurt her ego with that gesture, the tables then turned and she eventually stayed away from me. Though she did try to embarrass me multiple times so I'd come back crawling to her because she claims "I see what you really are" and tells me I'm the abuser myself, I did slowly became detached with her. There's still hope. Run away from the friendship while you can.
Hey madame my “friend” was clingy and emotionally manipulative. He would make me feel bad about things I didn’t do and he would make me feel bad about talking with other friends because he would get jealous.
@@puppetsnunary7691 thank you for your kind words. I'm doing much better now, it's been almost a year and I can say I've grown and healed significantly.
Hope you're doing better now. I feel your pain, was in a 2 year relationship with a one-upmanship expert / a flirt / a constant victim. Worst years of my life. Can't imagine what 8 year must have felt like. Good luck 😊😊
Just got out of a relationship like that. Or rather dumpet all of the sudden.. We bought a house at tried to conceive.. But as soon as we became home-owners, se dumped me and blamed everything on me... My life was shattered and so was my wallet.. Turned out that she had been cheating on me and that her ex bought me out of the house within a month.. But hey. She told everyone that I had been abusive and manipulative, so that no one would look at her sideways for leaving me.
'Manipulators', not emotional manipulators. Emotional manipulation rarely gets you to high places, it's more used for keeping people around, or getting pity/coddled over.
I have dealt with all of these from a single person and I gotta say, the BEST thing you can do is mention it to them and if it doesn't change anything immediately then that person is toxic and unwilling to change to better fit with your needs. Get out of the situation in ANY safe way possible. Do not associate with them again.
That is a good question and kind of a difficult one to answer. I lived with an emotional and psychological abuser and even after my parents were divorced and I thought I was safe, I was still forced to visit. Unfortunately for me, I had to wait until I was a legal adult to get out of the situation and cut any and all ties I could with that person. Sadly, my siblings are still stuck in it and even though it's been causing psychological damage, even though there have been multiple investigations run, my abuser has still managed to come out on top and they're still stuck. My little brother has run away from my one parent's house multiple times. They may not be able to get out until they're adults either. It's different for every situation, but I would say the first step is to talk to someone and get help. I didn't realize I was going through abuse until I confided in someone and they were shocked I was dealing with the things I was dealing with. I didn't realize it was abuse until someone else made me aware of it. It sounds like a broken record and I know just how hard it is, if near impossible for someone to get help but it's a necessary first step.
@@naenae512 exactly! I'm about to graduate soon, all the seniors are so excited to graduate and keep asking me what I'm gonna do after college I'm terrified af. I don't know what to do i don't know where to go. I don't know how to block them without them figuring it out. My bff wants me to go to college with her and I do to i haven't seen her in years thanks to her moving. But my parents are gonna be so close to that location, If they figured out i blocked them they could easily come and find me and they'll know exactly where i am because i told them to much info of where I'm going. I have to like go somewhere far far away for a few years. 😭
I remember this boy who threatened to kill himself if i wasn't his girlfriend. I really didn't think of him romantically, so i said no. Then he went into a fit about how terrible i was and how he was going to now kill himself. I felt horrible. I couldn't let someone die because of me. So i became his girlfriend. But i never kissed him, because as i said, i romantically didn't like him. So he threatened to take his own life again if i didnt kiss him. I couldn't take it anymore so i just said "no, i don't feel comfortable", so he broke up with me. Two weeks later he's dating someone else. He wasn't depressed or suicidal. He was just looking for a girlfriend, by manipulating them into pitying him. Please, don't be like him.
oh man, lol if a girl told me they'd kill themselves if i didn't date them, they'd kill themselves, I'd laugh and call their bluff. If they end up doing it for-real, not my problem. Anyone who uses suicide as a threat is either doing it for attention or pathetic. Either way, they have no real value.
Izuku Midoriya {◕ ◡ ◕} I dated a girl back in high-school who used similar manipulation, except instead of suicide, she would make-up stories about childhood abuse and false rape and sexual assault stories to earn pity. I only ever found out it was all lies after we had broke up and her sister was honest with me about how insane her sister(my ex) was. I'm glad i dodged that bullet.
s t i n g y very similar thing happened/is happening to me. Although, now that hes in a mental hospital getting help, he has totally disregarded me and is treating me like shit. I did and still do love him, but he would manipulate me like crazy, telling me to stay otherwise he would kill himself. So i got him help by putting him in the hospital - he is so much better now but hes a different person to me. Hes angry, rude, and selfish. He told me never to message him again, because he is doing fine, while I'm not.
This happened to me as well. This girl who I was close with liked me a lot and asked me out like three times and I said no. She used a lot of these tactics in the video as well as threatening to kill herself. When I came out to her as gay, she took it very strangely, and apologized. But then tried to manipulate me into dating her again and said she could never get over me and that if she died, don’t say she didn’t warn me. That was the last straw. I anonymously reported her to the counselor and when the counselor talked to her She knew it was me and lost her shit. We would come up to me randomly in the hall and yell at me about how I ruined her life. The next day she tried to get me to apologize and I didn’t. As I was updating the counselor on the situation she texted me threatening to ruin my reputation with the Conservatory director and saying that I need to out myself to my mom or tell my mom what a dick I’ve been to her. I reported it to the counselor and I’m pretty sure the only reason she didn’t get suspended was because of the suicide thing. If someone is cornering you get help.
There's this guy at my school who was suspended for a week (and that should tell you something immediately), and when he came back we had a test in bio in a few days, and we'd been going over cellular respiration and photosynthesis while he was gone, y'know, some fairly complex subjects. Well, he kept saying, "He's (our bio teacher) gonna make me take the test." (He's not that kind of guy, in fact he delayed the test because a lot of people were complaining about not being ready.) And the guy who sits next to me kept saying, "No he's not!" And the suspended dude kept insisting. That was the moment when I realized tis guy always needed to be a victim.
My mom blows up over the smallest things. She gets offended super easily by things I say that had nothing to do with her. For example, I was telling my friends "Oh we don't have a printer." And my mom started screaming at me from across the house, saying that I was gossiping and saying she doesn't do her job as a mother and she doesn't provide a printer for me to do my homework... I wasn't even thinking about her when I said it. She blew up about things like that all the time and she said "Everyone knows you figmentate things and no one actually believes what you say." She also claimed that I did things with the intention of making her angry, but why would anyone in the right mind want to make her angry??? There's more but I'll leave the comment at that
Some parents are just coocoo. Crazy as hell. I remember trying to get a work opportunity and my mom told me "why don't you move out into the street and live for your fucking self?" I was like isn't that the point of me trying to better myself? How could I expect to live on Supplemental Security income in perpetuity?
She sounds insecure about her ability to parent. So not only does she get angry so you won't mention things that make her feel insecure about her ability to provide (like not having a printer), she immediately tells you you make things up and no one believes you (gaslighting) to make you doubt your reality, and make you think you're the problem. Oh god. When she does that you don't respond, but you also put on a shield. She's doing it because of herself, NOT because of you. Imagine you are a grey boring rock on the ground. Nothing is going to get inside, and you aren't giving off anything that she will pick on.
Hope you're doing okay. My father is like this and have resulted to kicking out thr only person who I have looked up to as a parent. It just happened a few hours ago, I'm still trying to stop myself from getting affected by my Dad's outburts because I friend of mine is willin to stay overnight with me to look out and guard me if anything happens. And I'm proud to call her a friend
This is of course is interesting but what is even more of interesting is why people have use emotional manipulation. It's because they are flawed. They have personal problems that need to looked at. I believe it has to do with a lot with our parents. Our parents teach us. Sons and daughters copy their parents. It's called "learned Behavior." It's important for our parents to show the healthy way for us to be in relationships.
From what I have learned about emotional manipulation is that it's a form of control! Grrr. Yes, they are flawed and have have personal problems to be looked at but if they are a narcissist then they come to believe that they are perfect. They feel they can do no wrong. I also agree with you with regards to parenting too! A lot of our traits come from our up bringing and we need to be taught in how develops positive relationships and not the opposite.
Wow! That's quite a story you have there. I'm sorry you are going through this type of abuse with your mother but I'm glad you are on the road to recovery from the drug abuse you experienced. Thumbs up to you! :) Before I dived in and answer your questions and offer you some advice I just want to say that I am not a qualified professional but I can offer you some links that I found to be very helpful. :) I will try and offer you some knowledge from my personal study as best as I can though. :) Here are the links: ruclips.net/channel/UCYotx7-zHSpnE1-CpXpHF6Q ruclips.net/channel/UCkUVh2cwep3jCYwDjE689Wg ruclips.net/channel/UCFtt3fhMMCBKGRMGyN2D2GQ ruclips.net/channel/UCpX1UIfSjXxLixpqXw2tR1g In regards to your mother...From what I have learned from narcissistic/ narcissistic abuse is that they are very manipulative, controlling and they feed off of your pain because they are like bloody sucking vampiers. They love to see you suffer. It sounds sick I know but that's just how they operate. They have no sympathy or empathy for others. The one thing they will never do is CHANGE. They will only get worse in time. You asked "How to deal?" My dear you will never win with this type of behaviour because you can not argue with a narcissist. They will always think they are "right" They are like little children trapped inside an adults body hence the reason why you said that "she wants everything her way" The reason why she runs away and hides is because they do not want to deal with their own reality. I hope my personal study/knowledge has helped you. All I can do is offer you my understanding really. I really hope the links from the professionals will support you/give you answers. If you have anymore questions do not hesitate to ask. I will be happy to help. Take care and all the best! :)
Crissy 1 build up an armor 2 never allow to yourself ti think that " avoid arguing doesnt costa so much". Because this is actually the main way for nevrosis. 3 talk with a therapist
Crissy can u trust me on this? I HAVE THE SAME EXACT STORY. LIKE WORD FOR WORD. ALL OF IT. I FEEL MY MOM CONTRIBUTES TO MY NEGATIVE REPRESSED EMOTIONS. I believe u , just as I, use pleasures in order to feel emotion of ur own. to feel. just to feel.. u repressed for so long that... u just cope any way that collaborates with ur hearts pain.
As long as you aren't a manipulative person, as in it's apart of your personality, you're fine. For example, everyone has the potential to be neurotic, angry, sociopathic etc.. too and may sometimes do these things - but as long as it's not apart of your personality, it's fine.
Laura Corona its okay, none of us is perfect and i saw another comment say its all about intent which is so true, we all have things to work on but dont pressure yourself too much. unfortunately i came here because i have a friend who represents 9/10 of these and i have dealt with it for a very long time and refuse to hang out with them which results in them continuing to do these things, but i know one may apply to me as well and i am working on myself too (: the trick is just knowing and acknowledging that none of us are perfect and any healthy normal human could do one or two of these at times, being manipulative is more like knowing theyre doing these things and not working on fixing it
There was this one girl I knew in high school who always lied, turned me against a friend (for I stupidly believed her, I'll admit), intimidated me with threats (calling the police, for example), used words against me constantly, and always made herself the victim. Least to say, I've never hated a single human being so much. She also bullied some of my friends, and the only way we took her down was by teaming up and reporting her to the guidance counselor. She eventually moved away before they could do anything, though, so we got off lucky. Now I know what to look out for in other people. You guys make some very helpful videos! Though, I wish they were longer.
I'm the projector big time. I always knew I had a little bit of a problem with control and being prideful, but recently I've realized how bad I really am. I also just realized that my bestfriend is a huge codependent, so were like the worst kind of friendship. We both have a ton a growing and healing to do and I'm worried it's never gonna get better.
tbh.... aren't we all at least one of these? like, my mom's the constant victim, and I'm number 10, I'm not going to lie. maybe it's because I grew up around people who manipulated other people constantly, but maybe that's just how everyone is. idk.
It's even harder if they've used grooming and gaslighting to confuse you and make you believe all of these negative traits are for your own good. Manipulators who do that dig so deep into your psyche, it can feel like to leave them is worse than to stay and suffer.
fell out with a friend last week who was a "multiple offender", he projected and purposely misinterpreted what I was saying and made himself out to be the victim. we were chatting on messenger and he sent me a long, horrible, abusive and personally attacking message. how did I deal with it? I didn't respond. that's that friendship done with!
sounds like a friend I had a falling out with. When questioning them always flirting with others, while bad mouthing them to me at the same time, she went for my MDD and said it was my disorder talking (while attacking me right before that). I had to block her on multiple SM because she would harrass me.
I never was emotionally strong, and it appears that life found out about it and decided to have fun by messing me up lol I've encountered with the number 8, sadly, and due to my naivety, I fell for it like a duck. ( _and sounding like one too as a bonus_ ) It basically ruined my life entirely from that point. The depression and enormous dependency I was feeling only grew stronger and I had no parental support whatsoever, nor friends' support. Once the flirt had its fun toying with me, it just moved away, and I felt literally like trash. My mom herself has many of the types above, specially 1, 3 and the Blasters (which I forgot the number) but I think no. 10 sums it up pretty much. It's as bad as to the point I cannot count on her for emotional advice or even to know what should I feel during something in my life, it's basically... Well, I'm just there, by my own now. I know I can't count on her anymore without being burdened with worries that don't even exist and hear the victim speech. But I've met with someone that simply blessed my life and is the only support I can count on now. So much that at times, I'm afraid of acting like a Powerful Dependent without noticing. phew... it feels weird telling all of this out aloud but relieving at the same time. I'm glad I've encountered this video. The stress which builds up for being silent for too long really releases when we speak it up, and make us feel much better indeed...
Carol Paiva Iv been used and abuse by a flirty Bitch more recently... She turned out to just have been toying with me for the past 6 months... I hate that I only realized once it was too late :/ I just wish I could ruin her life like she did mine....
OMG! #7! I am SOOOOOOOOO GLAD you posted this. The deliberate mis-interpreter. My wife does this and it drives me to the loony bin. IMHO, this is super hard to deal with. I'd say a thing and what she would repeat would be absolutely horrific. She would take my words, spin the around to be awful, then ridicule me being upset because she was just repeating what I said. It's like an insidious form of gaslighting, if such a thing were possible
There is no way to "deal" with the manipulators described in this video. Their games are designed to drive you crazy to the point of inducing PTSD or damage to reputation or both the ultimate goal is to affect your confidence in yourself and bring you down isolate you from those you love and isolate you from Love itself. Yes their can rip families apart yes they can induce 2 who once loved each other to fight. These people usually want something of value to you regardless if they have it or not in their lives. They are literally very sick and, are in denial about it. A healthy person will know when they are sick and will ask for help to overcome the sickness. These people are unhealthy. There is no way to "deal" with them. The best thing you can do is to adapt yourself in order to protect yourself and your reputation from the damage these sick, unhealthy, psychos cause to themselves and others. To the uploader I hope that helps.
ANTIJPUG the way to deal with them is to not deal with them. one final tell off and block them on everything. Including phone numbers, social media, etc. Make sure to keep their crazy texts, dms, and frequent phone calls for evidence. If they find a way to contact you after that go file a restraining order.
This helps alot. in the past ive tried to stand up to, ignore and cut out the manipulators in my life. It just makes it worse and it makes them want to punish you. You right about this. The best thing to do sometimes once you realize someones a manipulate is to love yourself and try to heal from it.
Truth. I used to be very critical, controlling and manipulative because I was raised around it. When I realized how I was, I was so grieved and I cried and begged God to change me. I didn't want to be like that and he brought people around to support and help me. They showed me better ways to love others and show kindness. Change the culture you hang around in too!
For everyone who thinks "hey, I've done this in my life, what's the big dealio!" I'll post what I've been saying: *If this is apart of your personality (consistently displayed behaviors over time), then you're what's wrong with this world. If you think you are just fine as a manipulator, you're the very definition of a manipulative human being and no one likes that type of person. If you've done this once, twice, maybe three times and realized it's wrong and unhealthy, it's called growing up and is an acceptable part of learning and growing. If you've sometimes done it unconsciously but reflected, caught yourself, realized it was wrong, etc, then that's all healthy and normal too. It's called learning and becoming a decent human being. HOWEVER, If you think the fact that "everyone's done this once or twice" is an acceptable excuse for ANYTHING that's clearly wrong or a bad behavior, please go see a psychiatrist. It does not justify continuing this behavior. Just because you CAN do something and others HAVE done it, does not make it right or even acceptable. For example... murder, thievery, cheating, rape etc. People do all of these things, some innocently or for some "excusable" reason, but it's by no means right or even something that should be apart of your PERSONALITY. If it is, get help. You may need to re-evaluate what makes an honest, wise and sensible human being. For those of us who have been severely damaged by a manipulative, disgusting human being (which there have been many!!!), there's nothing cute about being a manipulator. You are seriously the scum of the earth, especially if you proudly wear your manipulation badge and tout how emotionally manipulative you are and how it's "sometimes OK to emotionally manipulate" or how it's "something we all do". Yeah, once Americans "all" wanted blacks to use a separate bathroom. Did that make it OK? NO! The video isn't just talking about white lies or sometimes skewing the truth to protect people. It's talking about the dangerous part of mental manipulation, obviously. IT'S NOT OK.. it's the same tactic that many rapists and murderers use to try and justify their crimes and on the victims before they destroy their lives.
This has been my twin sister for YEARS. However my parents merely think of it as “how sisters fight”. My sister’s constant verbal, emotional, and physical abuse has lead me to self-harm and depression, and I don’t understand why people choose to live their lives like this.
I'm worried I come off like the powerful dependent or number 10. I don't even purposely do it and I don't want to do it to be honest. But I fear that might be some people's impersonation of me.
***** I'm actually in therapy already. I am diagnosed with schizophrenia with paranoia, I do have coexisting Aspergers syndrome, with two conditions associated with both probably bred from both clinical depression and anxiety. I'm technically unemployed and technically homeless, but not in the same definition of chronic homelessness. There's honestly different types of homelessness most people don't consider at all as homeless. Either way, because of this, I feel like sometimes I come off as the powerful dependent because I have nothing in my life. When I want to ask people for help, I feel or worried all the time I'm actually manipulating them to feel some of pity or sympathy. I don't want anyone to feel pity or sympathy for me. But this really to me marks my impression of society, doesn't it? Pay for A Family in need for the Holidays, Okay. A "Friend" or a Close Acquaintance is asking for help because of their life situation, equals manipulator who only ask the people around them for assistance because they don't want to do anything for themselves. It just seems so ass backwards, but I don't want anyone to get that impression of me.
I just got out of a relationship with a man that used many of these techniques to make me feel like I was below him and projected his insecurities onto me. I was left by him hurt and confused about who I was. This really opens my eyes to see that it's not me who was wrong or dirty or not good enough. I don't want anyone to fall for the manipulation my ex put my through, it made me into believing I was someone that I wasn't.
mate, you are the edgiest being alive right now, not even a sphere is as edgy as you. you must be wuite the badass putting that person in their place, wow, TOAHG GUY
My father maybe is blaster and some types, he shouted at me, and get ảngry easily with me sometime for very little reason, i can not express my opinion, how can i deal with this,
@@tintucnongnhat7576 work on yourself or try to ask for help from a therapist. I'm working on myself alone and I'm trying to recover from all my childhood and adulthood wounds and traumas. I'm feeling better thanks to Allah. I wish you a good journey towards your recovery 🙏, peace 🕊
Ex-boyfriend was a blaster, projector, and a giant misinterpreter. He was great at turning things around on me and threatening me with what I fear most if I didn't concede on EVERY disagreement. He wore me down until I couldn't fight him anymore because he knew my weaknesses better than I knew his. I was hardly ever happy and cherished the times I got to stay home instead of see him and receive his guilt trips. He tried to drive a wedge between me and my family and friends by insisting they will see him in a bad light, they will not understand our disagreements, and label him worse than he is. In hindsight... yeah. They did see through his bullshit, but he had me convinced (gaslighted) he was right, which is why I took so long to escape him. It took me a month of therapy to realize he was holding me back. I wasn't completing my exercises because he was wreaking so much havoc in my life. She told me to tell him I needed time to myself to heal from things and that if he threw a fit, maybe I should consider whether I want to stay with someone who'd get upset with me for not doing what he wants, even if it's in my better interest. When he threw an absolute fit about giving me time to myself, that was when I realized he was toxic and selfish. Of course he backpedaled when I told him about my therapist's ideas of leaving him. I told him I needed a month. He accepted and insisted he'd be supportive. ...Except he'd constantly ask if I was feeling better so he could see me again. Then when I hit 2 weeks in, he insisted it'd been a month and that I should go over and see him. He did this over and over until the month was finally over. He said he'd be better about all the shit he does, but of course the circle of abuse started right back up again. I knew I wanted to break up with him, but he had me tied so tight around his finger, I couldn't fight him when he threatened me. 6 months later, I finally had the support I needed to dump him. My ex was divorcing his wife, so we were talking about it for a while. We compared experiences, and he told me what a real relationship was like -- it's not about intimidation or always being right or wrong, it's about being honest and trusting, which I couldn't be around him. So with my ex's and family's support, I finally moved back in with my mom and have been much better ever since. Look up Gaslighting, grooming, and Narcissistic Personality Disorder if you want more information on manipulation tactics. They're tricky and effective, and they're REALLY good at hiding in plain sight.
I know a few Triangulators. They'll make a snap judgement about you the second they meet you, you're either an okay friend that they let you stick around them OR you're deemed bad, constantly ridiculed, and forced out of social situations. The problem is leaving them means leaving a lot of my other friend's inner circles, and I've heard they talk behind people's back all the time. I have no idea what to do.
It is the hardest thing to deal or cope with someone who is a manipulative person especially when he/she are the people you love. This video defines exactly what I am dealing with. I would even say some of these things that were mentioned in this video before I have ever seen this video.
I became one after having a nice boyfriend for the first time. I became so dependent on him that I used it to my advantage to manipulate him. And that's why I'm single.
It looks like there are far too many manipulative people on this planet. just thinking about it makes me tired. To the rest of you I wish you the best of luck. Mean People Suck, in the bad way!
Angela M Ricks tell me about it I'm in an Asian family and they have alot of these traits and the gaslighting thing too :/ ( though not all Asians are like this so I don't offend anyone)
You've done some of these before, and you're ironically doing one right now. I'm a paramedic, and put everyone before myself, yet I've done some before, not entirely intentionally, but still.
Ive definitely dealt with folks like this before and I've been in the shoes of an emotional manipulator. Not any more i try to live on the striaght and narrow much as possible. but the flirt in me does make its way out here and there. As for how I dealt with individuals like that i slowly but surely keep my distance from them till they become non existent in my life.
This video helped me realize what I was doing to other people and why I don’t have long term relationships (friends or otherwise). No one is perfect, but we can always improve what’s wrong with us and try to be over all better people. This also made me reflect on why I do what I do and where it stems from, these patterns don’t derive from nowhere. It’s okay to admit what’s wrong and seek help.
This was me too! I was about to hit the pause button and go back to read them when it came to the part that made it clear they were just part of the intro.
that's not exactly true, maybe we all had use one of those to get away from a bad situation or to get a favor, but some people use them always, for example i know 3 girls that use the constant victim tecnique and lie about their life to beg attentions. It's not necessarily a bad thing too, i tend to manipulate on purpose (not as shown in the video) to keep a peaceful enviroment around me and solve problems such as quarrels etc, is not a bad thing but it is something that gives you power on people and it's hard not to abuse of it
I'm assuming someone is likely a manipulator without realizing it. I don't know if it should be called abuse or manipulation or what, but when my dad was mad, he would explode. If you were in the line of fire, it was best to get out before he screamed at something you did or "vented" to you. I remember once criticizing how he blew up at some store manager or something (too many instances of this to tell you) and he said that if he didn't "people will step on you!" Apparently his dad was the same way.
Snowflake Productions there are plenty of cases where people dont realize they are manipulating... Ateast I think they dont know... They might just be playing dumb, as they do...
ya my brother is very insecure and I think he kind of knows but he uses 1,5, and 9. he used to actual hit me as a child but now all he does is drink and blow up at his girlfriend. She is very self hate.self doubt to the point of insanity were she blows up and pushes people down stairs. I feel bad for her cause i hate her but i hated her b/c she reminds me of me when i was little with my brother and all he does is verbally and kind of emotional attack her. and all i want to say is why the hell are you with my brother leave for your own good but she keeps coming back to him plus shes having his baby. yep my brother is 21 and has two baby mommas. My mom she is also 1, 3, and 6 ( but she has no clue she does it unlike i think my brother does) my uncle whos blind is also 1. And hey ya I know I can be Very manipulative, fuck its a damn near survival instinct for me/ its all i got. I use the manipulation to calm my brother down and to get my mom to focus on other thing beside emotional manipulating my brother and me. people underestimate me all the time and I manipulate them so I can get out of a sticky place un harmed I can also be the queen of passive aggressiveness. but I dont deny it like my family does. I embrace it and then i try to move on to a better happier life but my family is just stuck in that we should be this way and the worst part is ( my grandma and grandpa were the same way it passes on from generation and i dont understand why no one see that) it is a constant struggle to not act like a 1 or any one of these because ever since i was a child this is how my family acts and thought i dont want to continue this toxic heritage I am scared that when i have kids I will be the same way with them and not even realize it.
I think most of the manipulators mentioned above see their own action as a way of self-defense, particularly the explosive types. They feel cornered or in danger that their needs won't be met, so they make sure they are not ignored. I think deep-down they know but they see their fears as a weakness other people will exploit, so they are too ashamed to admit it. They have never learned how to do it better and they may even not see a reason to do that as long as their explosions work. The exceptions to this are of course the sociopaths, who take pleasure in the act of demeaning others and lack certain human emotions to begin with. With them, their actions are no smokescreen to hide fears.
+Shelby It is good that you see what you are doing. This is the first step to change. And it sounds like you would like to change. I think the best way would be to see a therapist so you can express your feelings and get them sorted out without harming a person you like. The thing is, if you grow up in a toxic environment, you learn to mold into it from an early age. Those behaviours then become so ingrained -- if left untreated -- that they become like a second nature. And if you get into a stressful situation, maybe with your own future children (and children do it all the time), your second nature comes out automatically. When we are stressed out, we cannot think clearly and do what comes automatically. Thinking comes only afterwards, when the harm is already done. Therefore it is necessary to learn new strategies in a calm environment. I know, I come from a toxic family myself. I have no children but I have un-learned the ways of my family.
10 types of emotional manipulators. 1. the constant victim 2. the I'm better than you 3. powerful dependants. 4. triangulators 5. anger blasters 6 the projector 7 deliberate mis interpreter 8 the flirt 9 the intimidator 10 multiple offender.
Rena Bevario Its kind of hard not to when you know you're already one. Ironically, I actually found the article this video was based off of and it went a bit deeper into the different types though I would've liked it if it went even deeper. Plus, it doesn't hurt to know. It may be helpful one day. 030
A sincere apology can help both you and your ex. If you own up to what you did, say that you're sorry and that you wish to better yourself. Coming from someone who has been with a emotionally abusive partner, their apology helped me heal. Even if it's just through a letter, it can be powerful. Good luck :)
they might not realize it but they are doing it and when you bring it up they often deny it and twist your words to the point where you know that you're wrong
This video perfectly describes the narcopath currently in my life...which i am working myself AWAY from carefully to keep the smear campaign to a minimum while getting my self NARC FREE. This narc has convinced every single one of his friends that I am insane, dangerous and need to be avoided at all costs. He even went so far as to ask me for my therapist's contact info because he is worried I have "lost my grip on reality" and wants to contact her, to let her know what is "really going on" so I can "get the help I need". Lucky for me, I have been down this road before with previous Narc relationships, and have learned to recognize emotional manipulation and gaslighting for what it IS instead of taking it all on and self-destructing under the pressure. In contrast to the Narc's "assessment" of my sanity or lack thereof, my healthy friends, new and old, do not share any of the narcopaths opinions and find me quite "normal", delightful and saner than most. These healthy friends are stable in their opinions with consistent viewpoints year in and year out. The narc can change his opinion of me in a flash...one minute I am the one whose opinions he admires most, the next minute I am a totally insane psychopath who needs a therapist to help me "regain my grip on reality". Around and around he goes....Love bombing, triangulation, gas lighting, Discard, Smear REPEAT. I am stepping off this toxic merry go round now and letting the narc think and say what he wants, while I walk away showing NO emotion, NO self-doubt & essentially cutting him off from his narcissistic supply. Nothing drives him more insane than "no contact" . He has already started the first phases of his Love Bombing, but each time I grow more and more immune as I accept this cycle will always repeat and never change.
Prowess Rayna in my case, my child's mother is actually the narc. She goes to therapy but she manipulates her therapist, so her therapist will reassure her. She's a master at all of the techniques mentioned above. The way I deal with her is by pointing out what she's doing, calling her on it, and showing her it will not work on me anymore.
Bless. I hope you don't have to continue being in that relationship with the narcissist for any longer. *(It took me a while to figure out how to word this. If you find any miss-ups, please tell me! Thanks!!)*
My granddaughter turned 15 today, I rented an upscale hotel to spend our weekend to include a dinner at an upscale restaurant within the same hotel. Just because I didn’t invite her mom’s friend and husband to the dinner, she has made my weekend a living hell, with her attitude and smart remarks. I feel extremely sad and depressed with all this, what should’ve been an exiting and happy time turned out to be a nightmare.
I think my boyfriend is number 2, One-Upsmanship Expert. he plays around as if I'm stupid and don't know what Im doing (also victimizes himself) but at the same time he calls out manipulators and talks down on him. is this just another way of manipulation?
Yes that is manipulating too. Huge red flag if he starts to cut you off from your friends and family and falsely accuses your loved ones of manipulating you and lying. Your feeling are valid and trust your gut ❤
That sounds like it needs to be an EX-boyfriend. You DO NOT want someone like that to be the father of your kids. He'll do that crap to them too and on goes the cycle of brokenness.
I had a friend that was exactly like this. She always would blame others for her issues and than shutdown. She wouldn’t want to talk about the issue, but then she would get angry because no one would ask if she is okay. My friendship with her was so emotionally and mentally exhausted. We, our friend group, tried to encourage her to talk about her issues with us. We had good memories, which is why it was difficult to cut connections with her. But I realized it was essential for my mental health to let her go. We all had issues but now it’s like it magically stopped. Ever since we distanced ourselves from her, our group has become stronger and we now know all of our boundaries. I don’t want to say I’m happy that we’re not friends anymore bc she was a good friend, at times, but this was a needed change.
My ex is definitely the deliberate misinterpreter! He was trying so hard to get back with me and I always had to explain myself to him (why I didn't want to be in a relationship etc.) and he will also play the victim. He would always try to make me feel bad about breaking up with him and at some point it worked (because he was that good at manipulating!). I reached a breaking point and completely cut him off and I feel at peace.
I'm number two ;-; I love the feeling of having power over people. I love the fear that they give, or to just feel like I matter. I am well aware of it, and I try to control it. But nonetheless, it gets its way sometimes. I love being right, and I hate losing. I hate feeling like the passive in an argument. Me controlling it is just going quiet for a while, or acting like it's all jokes and play. Hue.
I honestly wouldn't call someone manipulative unless they were a "multiple offender" One "red flag" is alarming but honestly I might just... write it off as a personality flaw and they might not be doing it intentionally at all. But once someone starts throwing out multiple red flags is when you get the fuck away and don't look back. Being manipulative and sometimes doing something that counts as manipulative are two different things.
I’ve been super heckin paranoid of how I act around my friends. I’m watching these sorts of videos cause I just get really scared that I could be hurting my friends subconsciously.
cactie me too
cactie same here buddy
That's why i ditched the idea of friends
BUT
I DON'T RECOMMEND it cause ur way seems to be working
Maybe it's more of a sign of a minor form of anxiety. (But I'm not an expert)
Or, I mean, if you're concerned with how you are seen by people, or how they view your personality, then even if you do occasionally act badly, it could be from the desperation to be good or even perfect and perfection is likely non-existent save in the eye of the beholder.
It's a fact of life that arguments will happen. That people might get hurt by the slightest remarks. Often, it isn't the fault of a single person or even a single event.
What is more important than trying to be the perfect friend, is learning how to best resolve such an issue so that the fewest number of people feel hurt because of it for the shortest amount of time to prevent long-term damage. But since this damage is often caused by multiple factors, you shouldn't worry about arguments and wrongly formed words and phrases hurting your friends over a longer period of time.
Just relax and you'll find that when you stop being as nervous, the irritability and tendency to say things without much thought drops at least a little. And with that, there's a smaller chance you might accidentally offend or upset your friends. Besides, if you choose to smile instead of worrying, someone is bound to smile back. (Unless you're in an overcrowded bus or waiting in a line, or you've been staring creepily at a person for more than 5 seconds... etc.)
Same 😓
I just got out of an abusive gaslighting relationship today.
:')
this is late but woohoo!
This is late, but congratulations!!!
Yes fuck it up. I hope your doing do much better now
Congrats!
Good 4 u i hope u managed to stay away frm that toxic person ❤
Literally today I just ended a relationship with "the constant victim" every time I would say something or ask for them to be nicer they would complain and tell me what I'm doing wrong.
Me too, yesterday he texted me and said tell me if you're better after we broke up so I can relaxe and be better..like mf you hurted me don't act like a victim trying to check on me
Did anybody else have a particular person who came to mind with every single type?
edit: if you know someone who is toxic, immediately get them out of your life. You do NOT have to be around people who make you feel like shit. Sometimes it can be difficult to do but it is worth your happiness. And for the people who are toxic, remember that you have the ability to control how you react to the trauma you’ve experienced in your life. You don’t have to end up like the people who raised you. Being toxic also taints your life just as much as it taints others.
MAROONxxxMOON iii
unfortunately yes
MAROONxxxMOON this comment offends me in multiple ways since it's such relatable
my mom
Niamh LOL
not gonna lie, I freaking love these Animated Psychology videos
me too
Poet4 Life I know right! TBH, I love this channel!
Poet4 Life but....this isn't even an animation...
it depends your view on what marks an animation an animation. I just so happen to view this as one
Poet4 Life Okay, that's fine if you view it as one. But by definition, this isn't considered an animation lol. :>
For the people questioning if they’re manipulative there’s something HUGELY important the video left out...
It’s all about Intent.
If you act in the ways this video described consciously or with the knowing intent to get what you want in life, that’s manipulation.
But without intent or truly not even recognizing that you do these things isn’t manipulation, it’s simply character flaws.
If you see yourself in this video in any way, don’t beat yourself up. Now that you see it, keep it in the front of your mind and do your best to avoid that behavior. Eventually it’ll become the new norm! :)
P.S I’m no Saint and I’m speaking from experience here to. #5 is definitely what I’m working on changing about myself for the better right now!
Chris Harmon thank you
I lived in a toxic relationship for seven years. This person has every one of these traits and more besides. Did they act with intention? Who knows! Because it’s inbuilt, part of their personality and has been since their emotional development was arrested at an early age! So to say that if you act in this manner unintentionally is not toxic then that is not strictly true. Manipulative individuals know what they’re doing but don’t know how not to do it! This is the sole reason these people are unable to sustain any form of relationship long term of any kind, family, friendship or romantic relationships.
Kronic Viveros are you talking about yourself? If so then you’re half way there to helping yourself! You’re “self-aware “. Talk to a therapist who is trained in narcissism or narcissistic traits. And please, for the love of all that is holy, be honest and to the point! Don’t try to manipulate the therapist, you’ll be shooting yourself in the foot!
Thanks I needed that.
Chris Harmon thank you❤️
My mom's a projector, but my dad's a computer, and I'm an iPhone, so it's ok.
riski gost
I rather enjoyed that quite a bit. Keep up the good, almighty work of enjoyment.
lawl
HAH
Booooooooo!
riski gost lol man...lol
you just discribed high school
*described
Amad Joao Nauaito true
Amad Joao Nauaito exactly
Yeah when I was in high school I was being manipulated with out knowing cause I didn't know what being manipulated meant at that time. Also when I yelled at someone for bullying me they'd always play the victim and tell some one that I cussed them out, which is something that I did.
Marwa Smiley hahahahaha OMG. for real
I caught my ex cheating on me. And guess what, apparently it is still my fault that he cheated 🙄
Everything’s going to be ok
They do that.....
....... The one that lives here still blames me if he forgets his vitamins etc. I don’t think I would ever have married if I knew what it would be like. Live next door, do things together but after the first year spend the nights in my own house. Gads, there’s no life that doesn’t revolve around what he likes. We only eat what he likes etc. Now I’m annoyed, ha.
He follows hoodville and future on Instagram probably 😂😂
You guys should really make longer videos. They're too shallow, don't go into any details. It's no use for me to know the names of certain behaviors without knowing how to recognize them, why they exist, where, to what extent, how to avoid them. Any other channel would make a 10 minute video about this, at least.
www.inspire-wellness.org/the-10-types-of-emotional-manipulators/
This article is what I believe the video is based off of and it goes a bit more into depth on the different types of manipulators. Hope this helped ^^
TheDangerWolf Thank you so much!
I agree
+TheDangerWolf Unfortunately that article only offers more details about recognizing the alleged categories of misbehavior. Really, this is just a list of "10 behaviors which are rather broadly infuriating" and there is zero psychological material to be had.
Should we add new categories, like "The RUclips Commentor" or "The guy who's jokes just aren't funny"? What would really set categories like that apart from the ones already listed here?
There are no studies or research presented (either in video or in the article that you offer), there is no indication that the *9* behaviors listed (number 10 literally being "all of the above") do not duplicate (I think that 1 and 3, 5 and 9 are just describing the same thing in barely different ways for example..) or that they are exhaustive (I can think of another 10 unique ways to emotionally manipulate off the top of my head!) or that they are even harmful or relevant (one-upsmanship .. or .. just condescension.. is manipulative *how* again, instead of just being irritating?)
Emotional manipulation isn't the topic here, it's clickbait viewer manipulation that bothers me. :P
Happ MacDonald I never said it showed how to be one, just it goes into depth on what they are.
Plus, I don't think anyone can really do an article on how to be one without actually being one and that would mean sharing something that is usually looked down at by society. And if someone were to make an article on how to be one, it'd be extremely difficult for manipulation is usually by intuition and not by finding a book called Manipulation for Dummies 101. It would require immense research and knowing when and what to do in certain situations, what to do when dealing with certain people, etc. People may want to know who is a manipulator and how one acts rather than their actions so they can look for one themselves and stay away if they wished. It's a confusing topic because this is based on human psychology and humans are some of, if not, the most complicated being on earth.
Ya i met a lot of them. I used to look at them in the mirror everyday.
LOL
Self-Awareness is the first step to improvement.
Step 2, I was never told.
I really don't think that's something to laugh about or joke about. Emotional manipulators can be really harmful and abusive.
Briana G. yep and he's proud
If you can see it in you, then you are already half-way to changing it and making it into something positive.
I have encountered them all in one person
kadzo kazungu yea 😂
Same I was w them for a year my dumbass ignored my gut n I finally blocked my ex Thursday they mentally abused me n did all these things in this video she said. I don't get it why do ppl use others 💔😔
Same, It's my dad :)
same
Same
How did I deal with them? Oh you know, PTSD, anxiety, depression, you know, a little emotional trauma here and there
bih... emotional manipulators can act that way BECAUSE of trauma
taric kinnie that absolutely does NOT excuse their behaviour though
gemincri did i say it did
Kailey Wilson
👍🏻🙏🏻
Dude, sameeeeeeeee
I'm in a toxic friendship with someone who uses a couple of these techniques. It's crazy, seems like everyone falls at her feet because not only is she manipulative; she's also gorgeous. She can easily turn the shallow ones into her puppets
cranberrywb100 been there,
...hate people like that
cranberrywb100 my friend also is manipulating me
cranberrywb100 Get rid of them, whatever you do. It'll do you no good in the long run
cranberrywb100 simple beat her at her own game act more manipulative and inocent than her giver her "soup of le justice"
I've been there before and I can't believe it's been nine months already. I slowly distanced myself to her and if she asked why, I simply tell her that she knows what she did. If she ever tried to get me back, I kindly tell her to ask help from her other friends. One of her friends harassed me multiple times in the process and the worst thing is that she embarrasses me in public. I also cut contact with her other friends slowly. Not only did I hurt her ego with that gesture, the tables then turned and she eventually stayed away from me. Though she did try to embarrass me multiple times so I'd come back crawling to her because she claims "I see what you really are" and tells me I'm the abuser myself, I did slowly became detached with her.
There's still hope. Run away from the friendship while you can.
Remaining calm and sticking to the facts when getting confronted with accusations is the best way.
Hey look it's my mom
saaaaaaame
my mom is all of them lol
definitely my mom
plumprince true
plumprince omg as soon as I heard the constant victim I was like omfg that's my mom. I despise the victims manipulators more than any other.
i was 'friends' with a guy who did mostly all of these things for 2 years. screwed me up.
Thank You this comment made me drop my friendship with my friend a few minutes ago im in the same boat
Unfortunately same. Except I had to drop it on my own. And I felt stupidly codependent on that person. I’m better now
just throwing this out there, I was recently in the same situation. If anyone wants to vent out i'm available!!!
Hey madame my “friend” was clingy and emotionally manipulative. He would make me feel bad about things I didn’t do and he would make me feel bad about talking with other friends because he would get jealous.
Yeah same, how did you get through it? Same thing happens to me but I can't seem to forget it, seeing this person gives me anxiety...
FINALLY ended an emotionally manipulative relationship and I couldn't be happier :)
Everything’s going to be ok
@@puppetsnunary7691 thank you for your kind words. I'm doing much better now, it's been almost a year and I can say I've grown and healed significantly.
hey, how are you doing today? you good?
@@realcappu thanks for asking! I'm great. I'm still battling with my trauma but I'm so much happier. I hope you are also doing well :)
@@lauren-gc2iy thanks!! i hope you have an awesome day :3
your channel deserves more attention
I'm not sure if I'm any of these. I may have been or may be without even realizing it...
Em Underwood same!!!
My ex was a multiple offender. She was a projector, a triangulator, and a constant victim. Oh god 8 years of that got so tiresome.
Hope you're doing better now. I feel your pain, was in a 2 year relationship with a one-upmanship expert / a flirt / a constant victim. Worst years of my life. Can't imagine what 8 year must have felt like. Good luck 😊😊
Just got out of a relationship like that. Or rather dumpet all of the sudden.. We bought a house at tried to conceive.. But as soon as we became home-owners, se dumped me and blamed everything on me... My life was shattered and so was my wallet..
Turned out that she had been cheating on me and that her ex bought me out of the house within a month.. But hey. She told everyone that I had been abusive and manipulative, so that no one would look at her sideways for leaving me.
Hope u doing much better now :>>>
we're all emotional manipulators at some point. we all want positive attention and many of us have a hard time thinking of other people before us
danix454 most high up people are high you because they are manipulative. And I'm not scum.
'Manipulators', not emotional manipulators. Emotional manipulation rarely gets you to high places, it's more used for keeping people around, or getting pity/coddled over.
Susan McAuley true dat
+Susan McAuley UGH I HATE IT WHEN PEOPLE TRY DOING THAT OML!!!
Well, unless your shy and an emotional wreck.
I have dealt with all of these from a single person and I gotta say, the BEST thing you can do is mention it to them and if it doesn't change anything immediately then that person is toxic and unwilling to change to better fit with your needs. Get out of the situation in ANY safe way possible. Do not associate with them again.
TalesofTim But what if you live with them.
Nae Nae Yea that's a good question..
That is a good question and kind of a difficult one to answer. I lived with an emotional and psychological abuser and even after my parents were divorced and I thought I was safe, I was still forced to visit. Unfortunately for me, I had to wait until I was a legal adult to get out of the situation and cut any and all ties I could with that person. Sadly, my siblings are still stuck in it and even though it's been causing psychological damage, even though there have been multiple investigations run, my abuser has still managed to come out on top and they're still stuck. My little brother has run away from my one parent's house multiple times. They may not be able to get out until they're adults either. It's different for every situation, but I would say the first step is to talk to someone and get help. I didn't realize I was going through abuse until I confided in someone and they were shocked I was dealing with the things I was dealing with. I didn't realize it was abuse until someone else made me aware of it. It sounds like a broken record and I know just how hard it is, if near impossible for someone to get help but it's a necessary first step.
@@naenae512 exactly! I'm about to graduate soon, all the seniors are so excited to graduate and keep asking me what I'm gonna do after college I'm terrified af. I don't know what to do i don't know where to go. I don't know how to block them without them figuring it out. My bff wants me to go to college with her and I do to i haven't seen her in years thanks to her moving. But my parents are gonna be so close to that location, If they figured out i blocked them they could easily come and find me and they'll know exactly where i am because i told them to much info of where I'm going. I have to like go somewhere far far away for a few years. 😭
I got out of an abusive friendship yesterday and I am darn proud of myself since I had the courage to come out of it🙏
Same for almost months now. Both one-upsmanship and triangulator. I am still healing from what that person did to me.
Yes friends can be damaging too.
@@user-jv2wc1xh6o family too mine are toxic
In the end of this video should be a question "And which type are YOU?"
I remember this boy who threatened to kill himself if i wasn't his girlfriend. I really didn't think of him romantically, so i said no. Then he went into a fit about how terrible i was and how he was going to now kill himself.
I felt horrible. I couldn't let someone die because of me. So i became his girlfriend. But i never kissed him, because as i said, i romantically didn't like him. So he threatened to take his own life again if i didnt kiss him. I couldn't take it anymore so i just said "no, i don't feel comfortable", so he broke up with me.
Two weeks later he's dating someone else. He wasn't depressed or suicidal. He was just looking for a girlfriend, by manipulating them into pitying him. Please, don't be like him.
s t i n g y Damn.. that is rough. You handled that pretty well, honestly.
oh man, lol if a girl told me they'd kill themselves if i didn't date them, they'd kill themselves, I'd laugh and call their bluff. If they end up doing it for-real, not my problem. Anyone who uses suicide as a threat is either doing it for attention or pathetic. Either way, they have no real value.
Izuku Midoriya {◕ ◡ ◕} I dated a girl back in high-school who used similar manipulation, except instead of suicide, she would make-up stories about childhood abuse and false rape and sexual assault stories to earn pity. I only ever found out it was all lies after we had broke up and her sister was honest with me about how insane her sister(my ex) was. I'm glad i dodged that bullet.
s t i n g y very similar thing happened/is happening to me. Although, now that hes in a mental hospital getting help, he has totally disregarded me and is treating me like shit. I did and still do love him, but he would manipulate me like crazy, telling me to stay otherwise he would kill himself. So i got him help by putting him in the hospital - he is so much better now but hes a different person to me. Hes angry, rude, and selfish. He told me never to message him again, because he is doing fine, while I'm not.
This happened to me as well. This girl who I was close with liked me a lot and asked me out like three times and I said no. She used a lot of these tactics in the video as well as threatening to kill herself. When I came out to her as gay, she took it very strangely, and apologized. But then tried to manipulate me into dating her again and said she could never get over me and that if she died, don’t say she didn’t warn me. That was the last straw. I anonymously reported her to the counselor and when the counselor talked to her She knew it was me and lost her shit. We would come up to me randomly in the hall and yell at me about how I ruined her life. The next day she tried to get me to apologize and I didn’t. As I was updating the counselor on the situation she texted me threatening to ruin my reputation with the Conservatory director and saying that I need to out myself to my mom or tell my mom what a dick I’ve been to her. I reported it to the counselor and I’m pretty sure the only reason she didn’t get suspended was because of the suicide thing. If someone is cornering you get help.
One of my ex’s has 7 out of 10 of these, and I’m truly starting to recognize how abusive she was
This is probably quite weird as a compliment, but you have a wonderful narrator's voice. It's soft and pretty but intriguing.
i dislike it because it sounds like she struggles to pronounce everything
tarantularose She's seemingly trying to suppress her Australian accent
I really wish you would actually explain these in depth and not just randomly list with basic information
^^^^^^^^
There's a link at the end of the description with the article the video is based on :D there's more info in there
www.inspire-wellness.org/the-10-types-of-emotional-manipulators/
Lourdes Rubio thank you!!!!! 😘😘😘
Thanks for highlighting the link to the fuller descriptions. Really useful.
It's good to see how much this channel improved over the years
The deliberate mis-interpreter are good examples of people you see on the internet.
The eternal victims is the worst..
That was my ex. It is the absolute worse. and in all honesty he kind of deserves the crap that is thrown at him.
*cough* sjws *cough*
There's this guy at my school who was suspended for a week (and that should tell you something immediately), and when he came back we had a test in bio in a few days, and we'd been going over cellular respiration and photosynthesis while he was gone, y'know, some fairly complex subjects. Well, he kept saying, "He's (our bio teacher) gonna make me take the test." (He's not that kind of guy, in fact he delayed the test because a lot of people were complaining about not being ready.) And the guy who sits next to me kept saying, "No he's not!" And the suspended dude kept insisting. That was the moment when I realized tis guy always needed to be a victim.
The Catharite *cough* agreed *cough*
My mom blows up over the smallest things. She gets offended super easily by things I say that had nothing to do with her. For example, I was telling my friends "Oh we don't have a printer." And my mom started screaming at me from across the house, saying that I was gossiping and saying she doesn't do her job as a mother and she doesn't provide a printer for me to do my homework... I wasn't even thinking about her when I said it. She blew up about things like that all the time and she said "Everyone knows you figmentate things and no one actually believes what you say." She also claimed that I did things with the intention of making her angry, but why would anyone in the right mind want to make her angry??? There's more but I'll leave the comment at that
Renea Ramsey That's awful. Has she always been like this?
Some parents are just coocoo. Crazy as hell.
I remember trying to get a work opportunity and my mom told me "why don't you move out into the street and live for your fucking self?" I was like isn't that the point of me trying to better myself? How could I expect to live on Supplemental Security income in perpetuity?
She sounds insecure about her ability to parent. So not only does she get angry so you won't mention things that make her feel insecure about her ability to provide (like not having a printer), she immediately tells you you make things up and no one believes you (gaslighting) to make you doubt your reality, and make you think you're the problem. Oh god. When she does that you don't respond, but you also put on a shield. She's doing it because of herself, NOT because of you. Imagine you are a grey boring rock on the ground. Nothing is going to get inside, and you aren't giving off anything that she will pick on.
Hope you're doing okay. My father is like this and have resulted to kicking out thr only person who I have looked up to as a parent. It just happened a few hours ago, I'm still trying to stop myself from getting affected by my Dad's outburts because I friend of mine is willin to stay overnight with me to look out and guard me if anything happens. And I'm proud to call her a friend
@Rae Wilson read up on narcissist. That's what they do a lot
This is of course is interesting but what is even more of interesting is why people have use emotional manipulation. It's because they are flawed. They have personal problems that need to looked at. I believe it has to do with a lot with our parents. Our parents teach us. Sons and daughters copy their parents. It's called "learned Behavior." It's important for our parents to show the healthy way for us to be in relationships.
From what I have learned about emotional manipulation is that it's a form of control! Grrr. Yes, they are flawed and have have personal problems to be looked at but if they are a narcissist then they come to believe that they are perfect. They feel they can do no wrong. I also agree with you with regards to parenting too! A lot of our traits come from our up bringing and we need to be taught in how develops positive relationships and not the opposite.
Wow! That's quite a story you have there. I'm sorry you are going through this type of abuse with your mother but I'm glad you are on the road to recovery from the drug abuse you experienced. Thumbs up to you! :)
Before I dived in and answer your questions and offer you some advice I just want to say that I am not a qualified professional but I can offer you some links that I found to be very helpful. :)
I will try and offer you some knowledge from my personal study as best as I can though. :)
Here are the links:
ruclips.net/channel/UCYotx7-zHSpnE1-CpXpHF6Q
ruclips.net/channel/UCkUVh2cwep3jCYwDjE689Wg
ruclips.net/channel/UCFtt3fhMMCBKGRMGyN2D2GQ
ruclips.net/channel/UCpX1UIfSjXxLixpqXw2tR1g
In regards to your mother...From what I have learned from narcissistic/ narcissistic abuse is that they are very manipulative, controlling and they feed off of your pain because they are like bloody sucking vampiers. They love to see you suffer. It sounds sick I know but that's just how they operate. They have no sympathy or empathy for others. The one thing they will never do is CHANGE. They will only get worse in time.
You asked "How to deal?" My dear you will never win with this type of behaviour because you can not argue with a narcissist. They will always think they are "right" They are like little children trapped inside an adults body hence the reason why you said that "she wants everything her way" The reason why she runs away and hides is because they do not want to deal with their own reality.
I hope my personal study/knowledge has helped you. All I can do is offer you my understanding really. I really hope the links from the professionals will support you/give you answers.
If you have anymore questions do not hesitate to ask. I will be happy to help. Take care and all the best! :)
Crissy 1 build up an armor
2 never allow to yourself ti think that " avoid arguing doesnt costa so much". Because this is actually the main way for nevrosis.
3 talk with a therapist
Crissy can u trust me on this? I HAVE THE SAME EXACT STORY. LIKE WORD FOR WORD. ALL OF IT. I FEEL MY MOM CONTRIBUTES TO MY NEGATIVE REPRESSED EMOTIONS. I believe u , just as I, use pleasures in order to feel emotion of ur own. to feel. just to feel.. u repressed for so long that... u just cope any way that collaborates with ur hearts pain.
that is true yet also false everyone controls their behaviour they can reprogram their brain chemistry
eh, everybody's got a bit of at least one of these in them.
Yeah everyone manipulates to some degree.
As long as you aren't a manipulative person, as in it's apart of your personality, you're fine. For example, everyone has the potential to be neurotic, angry, sociopathic etc.. too and may sometimes do these things - but as long as it's not apart of your personality, it's fine.
Kendrocity MC Manipulation and cheating are actually survival techniques. But some people use it more than others.
I find myself mentally smacking myself for using such lines of 'defense' lol
In other words: Nobody's perfect. What else is new
That moment when you realise some of these apply to you ●︿●
Laura Corona its okay, none of us is perfect and i saw another comment say its all about intent which is so true, we all have things to work on but dont pressure yourself too much. unfortunately i came here because i have a friend who represents 9/10 of these and i have dealt with it for a very long time and refuse to hang out with them which results in them continuing to do these things, but i know one may apply to me as well and i am working on myself too (: the trick is just knowing and acknowledging that none of us are perfect and any healthy normal human could do one or two of these at times, being manipulative is more like knowing theyre doing these things and not working on fixing it
Same I'm going therapy from now on😢
Sad to say but my own mother is a master manipulator.
Oh damn! xD
she must be a gemini
kaiserzico I’m Gemini and I’m far from manipulator
my mom is 1 too
Same...
There was this one girl I knew in high school who always lied, turned me against a friend (for I stupidly believed her, I'll admit), intimidated me with threats (calling the police, for example), used words against me constantly, and always made herself the victim. Least to say, I've never hated a single human being so much.
She also bullied some of my friends, and the only way we took her down was by teaming up and reporting her to the guidance counselor. She eventually moved away before they could do anything, though, so we got off lucky.
Now I know what to look out for in other people. You guys make some very helpful videos! Though, I wish they were longer.
I'm the projector big time. I always knew I had a little bit of a problem with control and being prideful, but recently I've realized how bad I really am. I also just realized that my bestfriend is a huge codependent, so were like the worst kind of friendship. We both have a ton a growing and healing to do and I'm worried it's never gonna get better.
The simple fact you realize that means you ARE getting better. Be encouraged. God bless you~
My mother is 1, 2 and 5 together. Such a blessing...
PsychedelicSkull my Man is all of these. I am destroyed
tbh.... aren't we all at least one of these? like, my mom's the constant victim, and I'm number 10, I'm not going to lie. maybe it's because I grew up around people who manipulated other people constantly, but maybe that's just how everyone is. idk.
No, it’s not something everybody is. You could work on yourself. If not, you’ll not worthy.
*you’re
Sexy Hexy Slenderman we can't all be neurotypical Karen we need more good hormones
Nah. It may just be you and the people you mentioned doing it.
If that were true, id be manipulative. We can control our actions.
The father of my child came to mind in almost every single one of them and I was too afraid to say or do anything.
Sara.Sweet.N.Sinful179 I’m so sorry, I hope your doing better now Queen
WhiteTiger Gaming simp
Are you still with him?
Urwa Shahid definitely not. After 6 years I was finally able to leave.
@@andidontcarelol hi Sara, are you Co-parenting your child with him? Which country are you in?
Oooh a video about me!!
The Briaormead ikr
Got last one...
+Hailea Hudson
DUH!!! Everyone said last one but i bet they don't even have at least 2 of 'em. That's bad.
The Briaormead Same!
Lunna D'Lune well thanks for calling me (a depressed person) empty inside as if i didnt know already =_= (and im trying to stop that bad habit btw)
The cute drawings make this stuff a little easier to swallow. Thanks for uploading.
the “and have a wonderful day” at the end is so sweet and pure :,)
That moment you realise you're the manipulator
Matthias Tan Das ok! As long as you fix it
there are two kinds of people in this world...
fml
Matthias Tan hahahahaa
Cat It’s your fault
Damn, I know _all_ of these people. I think I've got to change my environment....
Nobody can emotionally manipulate a fist. Only the person wielding it, through words. Wear some comfy headphones and punch away!
Eda D asap
You won't regret it~
some people come into our life is to teach us a lesson and never meant to stay
I've always had suspicions about this one person, but this confirms it. Too bad the emotional manipulator in my life is my own family...
my mom would be "the blaster". i've never "won" any argument because she immediately shuts me down and refuses to listen to me because she gets so mad
My best friend is this constant victim. It’s started to drain me completely. I have no empathy nor sympathy over her anymore.
It's good to remember to cut off toxic relationships
but sometimes it's harder if that person has been with you for you entire life. So glad we both ended it.
It's even harder if they've used grooming and gaslighting to confuse you and make you believe all of these negative traits are for your own good. Manipulators who do that dig so deep into your psyche, it can feel like to leave them is worse than to stay and suffer.
fell out with a friend last week who was a "multiple offender", he projected and purposely misinterpreted what I was saying and made himself out to be the victim. we were chatting on messenger and he sent me a long, horrible, abusive and personally attacking message. how did I deal with it? I didn't respond. that's that friendship done with!
good I guess
***** he's friends with all my friends. :(
sounds like a friend I had a falling out with. When questioning them always flirting with others, while bad mouthing them to me at the same time, she went for my MDD and said it was my disorder talking (while attacking me right before that). I had to block her on multiple SM because she would harrass me.
Good, cut off toxic relationships
Tell them what he did and say you don't want to see him anymore, no matter what. Make sure all of them know the manipulator he is.
Oh my goooooooooood my ex is literally every single one of these
jesus cant believe i was with her for almost 2 years
I’m still dating a person like this and I’m too scared to break up because I still love him
@@annemoira2861 don't loose urself...stay safe
the only way to deal with them is to maintain a comfortable distance
I never was emotionally strong, and it appears that life found out about it and decided to have fun by messing me up lol
I've encountered with the number 8, sadly, and due to my naivety, I fell for it like a duck. ( _and sounding like one too as a bonus_ )
It basically ruined my life entirely from that point. The depression and enormous dependency I was feeling only grew stronger and I had no parental support whatsoever, nor friends' support. Once the flirt had its fun toying with me, it just moved away, and I felt literally like trash.
My mom herself has many of the types above, specially 1, 3 and the Blasters (which I forgot the number) but I think no. 10 sums it up pretty much. It's as bad as to the point I cannot count on her for emotional advice or even to know what should I feel during something in my life, it's basically... Well, I'm just there, by my own now. I know I can't count on her anymore without being burdened with worries that don't even exist and hear the victim speech.
But I've met with someone that simply blessed my life and is the only support I can count on now. So much that at times, I'm afraid of acting like a Powerful Dependent without noticing.
phew... it feels weird telling all of this out aloud but relieving at the same time. I'm glad I've encountered this video. The stress which builds up for being silent for too long really releases when we speak it up, and make us feel much better indeed...
Carol Paiva Iv been used and abuse by a flirty Bitch more recently... She turned out to just have been toying with me for the past 6 months... I hate that I only realized once it was too late :/ I just wish I could ruin her life like she did mine....
Carol Paiva Your mom is abusive
I was naive to the triangulator, thinking everyone wants the best for me. Cost me my so called friends and job.
OMG! #7! I am SOOOOOOOOO GLAD you posted this.
The deliberate mis-interpreter. My wife does this and it drives me to the loony bin. IMHO, this is super hard to deal with. I'd say a thing and what she would repeat would be absolutely horrific. She would take my words, spin the around to be awful, then ridicule me being upset because she was just repeating what I said.
It's like an insidious form of gaslighting, if such a thing were possible
There is no way to "deal" with the manipulators described in this video. Their games are designed to drive you crazy to the point of inducing PTSD or damage to reputation or both the ultimate goal is to affect your confidence in yourself and bring you down isolate you from those you love and isolate you from Love itself. Yes their can rip families apart yes they can induce 2 who once loved each other to fight. These people usually want something of value to you regardless if they have it or not in their lives. They are literally very sick and, are in denial about it. A healthy person will know when they are sick and will ask for help to overcome the sickness. These people are unhealthy. There is no way to "deal" with them. The best thing you can do is to adapt yourself in order to protect yourself and your reputation from the damage these sick, unhealthy, psychos cause to themselves and others. To the uploader I hope that helps.
ANTIJPUG the way to deal with them is to not deal with them. one final tell off and block them on everything. Including phone numbers, social media, etc. Make sure to keep their crazy texts, dms, and frequent phone calls for evidence. If they find a way to contact you after that go file a restraining order.
This helps alot. in the past ive tried to stand up to, ignore and cut out the manipulators in my life. It just makes it worse and it makes them want to punish you. You right about this. The best thing to do sometimes once you realize someones a manipulate is to love yourself and try to heal from it.
They usually live forever too so they can make our lives miserable for as long as they can...
And if they’re family... self-care and try to avoid family functions.
Truth. I used to be very critical, controlling and manipulative because I was raised around it. When I realized how I was, I was so grieved and I cried and begged God to change me. I didn't want to be like that and he brought people around to support and help me. They showed me better ways to love others and show kindness. Change the culture you hang around in too!
For everyone who thinks "hey, I've done this in my life, what's the big dealio!" I'll post what I've been saying: *If this is apart of your personality (consistently displayed behaviors over time), then you're what's wrong with this world. If you think you are just fine as a manipulator, you're the very definition of a manipulative human being and no one likes that type of person. If you've done this once, twice, maybe three times and realized it's wrong and unhealthy, it's called growing up and is an acceptable part of learning and growing. If you've sometimes done it unconsciously but reflected, caught yourself, realized it was wrong, etc, then that's all healthy and normal too. It's called learning and becoming a decent human being.
HOWEVER, If you think the fact that "everyone's done this once or twice" is an acceptable excuse for ANYTHING that's clearly wrong or a bad behavior, please go see a psychiatrist. It does not justify continuing this behavior. Just because you CAN do something and others HAVE done it, does not make it right or even acceptable. For example... murder, thievery, cheating, rape etc. People do all of these things, some innocently or for some "excusable" reason, but it's by no means right or even something that should be apart of your PERSONALITY. If it is, get help. You may need to re-evaluate what makes an honest, wise and sensible human being.
For those of us who have been severely damaged by a manipulative, disgusting human being (which there have been many!!!), there's nothing cute about being a manipulator. You are seriously the scum of the earth, especially if you proudly wear your manipulation badge and tout how emotionally manipulative you are and how it's "sometimes OK to emotionally manipulate" or how it's "something we all do". Yeah, once Americans "all" wanted blacks to use a separate bathroom. Did that make it OK? NO! The video isn't just talking about white lies or sometimes skewing the truth to protect people. It's talking about the dangerous part of mental manipulation, obviously. IT'S NOT OK.. it's the same tactic that many rapists and murderers use to try and justify their crimes and on the victims before they destroy their lives.
yes
praise our perfect and all mighty god danix454
ur raging
this
+Tankken He never implied that. Did you even read his last sentence at all?
danix454 I agree with you except for bit about going to a psychiatrist. Maybe a therapist would be better?
This has been my twin sister for YEARS.
However my parents merely think of it as “how sisters fight”.
My sister’s constant verbal, emotional, and physical abuse has lead me to self-harm and depression, and I don’t understand why people choose to live their lives like this.
Also me years ago
I'm worried I come off like the powerful dependent or number 10. I don't even purposely do it and I don't want to do it to be honest. But I fear that might be some people's impersonation of me.
***** I'm actually in therapy already. I am diagnosed with schizophrenia with paranoia, I do have coexisting Aspergers syndrome, with two conditions associated with both probably bred from both clinical depression and anxiety. I'm technically unemployed and technically homeless, but not in the same definition of chronic homelessness. There's honestly different types of homelessness most people don't consider at all as homeless. Either way, because of this, I feel like sometimes I come off as the powerful dependent because I have nothing in my life. When I want to ask people for help, I feel or worried all the time I'm actually manipulating them to feel some of pity or sympathy. I don't want anyone to feel pity or sympathy for me. But this really to me marks my impression of society, doesn't it? Pay for A Family in need for the Holidays, Okay. A "Friend" or a Close Acquaintance is asking for help because of their life situation, equals manipulator who only ask the people around them for assistance because they don't want to do anything for themselves. It just seems so ass backwards, but I don't want anyone to get that impression of me.
***** Thank you. Its the anxiety
***** :) I always knew not all of RUclips commenters are complete cancer. lol. I am joking. Don't take that too seriously
***** Hahaaha.
Lunna D'Lune Thanks man, this comment wasn't for me, but it's basically what I needed to see.
my mom ticks the boxes for 1, 4-7. it was a nightmare growing up and now watching my brother (younger by 15 years) grow up.
I just got out of a relationship with a man that used many of these techniques to make me feel like I was below him and projected his insecurities onto me. I was left by him hurt and confused about who I was. This really opens my eyes to see that it's not me who was wrong or dirty or not good enough. I don't want anyone to fall for the manipulation my ex put my through, it made me into believing I was someone that I wasn't.
I encountered many of these people, and let's just say it did not end well
For them.....
lol what a douche
Me a douche? They had it coming. Someone had to put them in their place. They were tormenting everyone I know
FreakishGamer2000 - I get you. I had this girl in my life who was all of these. I had to just be nasty about letting her go.
mate, you are the edgiest being alive right now, not even a sphere is as edgy as you. you must be wuite the badass putting that person in their place, wow, TOAHG GUY
Well, what can I say other than that I have mastered self defence, and I love living on the edge
"Have you ever encountered this types of people?" They're my parents
I felt that.
My father maybe is blaster and some types, he shouted at me, and get ảngry easily with me sometime for very little reason, i can not express my opinion, how can i deal with this,
@@tintucnongnhat7576 work on yourself or try to ask for help from a therapist. I'm working on myself alone and I'm trying to recover from all my childhood and adulthood wounds and traumas. I'm feeling better thanks to Allah. I wish you a good journey towards your recovery 🙏, peace 🕊
Ex-boyfriend was a blaster, projector, and a giant misinterpreter. He was great at turning things around on me and threatening me with what I fear most if I didn't concede on EVERY disagreement. He wore me down until I couldn't fight him anymore because he knew my weaknesses better than I knew his. I was hardly ever happy and cherished the times I got to stay home instead of see him and receive his guilt trips. He tried to drive a wedge between me and my family and friends by insisting they will see him in a bad light, they will not understand our disagreements, and label him worse than he is. In hindsight... yeah. They did see through his bullshit, but he had me convinced (gaslighted) he was right, which is why I took so long to escape him.
It took me a month of therapy to realize he was holding me back. I wasn't completing my exercises because he was wreaking so much havoc in my life. She told me to tell him I needed time to myself to heal from things and that if he threw a fit, maybe I should consider whether I want to stay with someone who'd get upset with me for not doing what he wants, even if it's in my better interest. When he threw an absolute fit about giving me time to myself, that was when I realized he was toxic and selfish. Of course he backpedaled when I told him about my therapist's ideas of leaving him. I told him I needed a month. He accepted and insisted he'd be supportive. ...Except he'd constantly ask if I was feeling better so he could see me again. Then when I hit 2 weeks in, he insisted it'd been a month and that I should go over and see him. He did this over and over until the month was finally over. He said he'd be better about all the shit he does, but of course the circle of abuse started right back up again.
I knew I wanted to break up with him, but he had me tied so tight around his finger, I couldn't fight him when he threatened me. 6 months later, I finally had the support I needed to dump him. My ex was divorcing his wife, so we were talking about it for a while. We compared experiences, and he told me what a real relationship was like -- it's not about intimidation or always being right or wrong, it's about being honest and trusting, which I couldn't be around him. So with my ex's and family's support, I finally moved back in with my mom and have been much better ever since.
Look up Gaslighting, grooming, and Narcissistic Personality Disorder if you want more information on manipulation tactics. They're tricky and effective, and they're REALLY good at hiding in plain sight.
U should have left him a long time ago
Im so grateful you finally left. Its crazy how weak we can be with the right kryponite....
did you mean : my ex best friend
Realm★Sprinter so true tho
agreed
*I love the fact that I was reading an article with this same info while watching this completely by chance!*
😄
I know a few Triangulators. They'll make a snap judgement about you the second they meet you, you're either an okay friend that they let you stick around them OR you're deemed bad, constantly ridiculed, and forced out of social situations. The problem is leaving them means leaving a lot of my other friend's inner circles, and I've heard they talk behind people's back all the time. I have no idea what to do.
***** Thank you, I really needed this right now.
I'm just gonna pretend I'm not any of these.....
Maybe you should start denying it and try to work with it?
+zebnemma I think you mean stop instead of start
Pequenaerra
or maybe get english classes and a therapist?
Pequenaerra yeah that's right put your head in the sand about it; most of these characters are actually found in the Asian communities.
It is the hardest thing to deal or cope with someone who is a manipulative person especially when he/she are the people you love. This video defines exactly what I am dealing with. I would even say some of these things that were mentioned in this video before I have ever seen this video.
I was a powerful dependent manipulator when I was 7-9 years old.Now I hope I'm not that kind of person...
dude chill out
God Emperor Donald J. Trump One-upmanship expert right here
I became one after having a nice boyfriend for the first time. I became so dependent on him that I used it to my advantage to manipulate him. And that's why I'm single.
+QueenMelodyAngel13 aye, we live and we learn 🙇
are you like 11 now?
It looks like there are far too many manipulative people on this planet. just thinking about it makes me tired. To the rest of you I wish you the best of luck. Mean People Suck, in the bad way!
Angela M Ricks tell me about it I'm in an Asian family and they have alot of these traits and the gaslighting thing too :/ ( though not all Asians are like this so I don't offend anyone)
Angela M Ricks Most people have done these things, I have. Nobody is a good person, we are all awful in a way.
You've done some of these before, and you're ironically doing one right now. I'm a paramedic, and put everyone before myself, yet I've done some before, not entirely intentionally, but still.
You can also be so over emotional you can unknowingly manipulate situations or people.
Ive definitely dealt with folks like this before and I've been in the shoes of an emotional manipulator. Not any more i try to live on the striaght and narrow much as possible. but the flirt in me does make its way out here and there. As for how I dealt with individuals like that i slowly but surely keep my distance from them till they become non existent in my life.
Damn I realized I've totally been that first person before and the triangulator. Jealousy is a hell of a feeling that can ruin everything.
Alyssa Scoggins yeah but I use the triangulator to manipulate people
This video helped me realize what I was doing to other people and why I don’t have long term relationships (friends or otherwise). No one is perfect, but we can always improve what’s wrong with us and try to be over all better people. This also made me reflect on why I do what I do and where it stems from, these patterns don’t derive from nowhere. It’s okay to admit what’s wrong and seek help.
ive never visited this channel before and i was sweating trying to read all the quotes in your intro
update: i am the multiple offender 😉
same cX
ok, but why are you all are you winking and seemingly not have any remorse-- that's not exactly a good thing??
This was me too! I was about to hit the pause button and go back to read them when it came to the part that made it clear they were just part of the intro.
I think we all have at least one manipulation methods. But we have to work on them and be better people
that's not exactly true, maybe we all had use one of those to get away from a bad situation or to get a favor, but some people use them always, for example i know 3 girls that use the constant victim tecnique and lie about their life to beg attentions.
It's not necessarily a bad thing too, i tend to manipulate on purpose (not as shown in the video) to keep a peaceful enviroment around me and solve problems such as quarrels etc, is not a bad thing but it is something that gives you power on people and it's hard not to abuse of it
To all you who realized your momma is the one causing all this pain remember that you're not alone! 😭🥺🧡 it will get better
I'm assuming someone is likely a manipulator without realizing it. I don't know if it should be called abuse or manipulation or what, but when my dad was mad, he would explode. If you were in the line of fire, it was best to get out before he screamed at something you did or "vented" to you. I remember once criticizing how he blew up at some store manager or something (too many instances of this to tell you) and he said that if he didn't "people will step on you!" Apparently his dad was the same way.
Snowflake Productions there are plenty of cases where people dont realize they are manipulating... Ateast I think they dont know... They might just be playing dumb, as they do...
ya my brother is very insecure and I think he kind of knows but he uses 1,5, and 9. he used to actual hit me as a child but now all he does is drink and blow up at his girlfriend. She is very self hate.self doubt to the point of insanity were she blows up and pushes people down stairs. I feel bad for her cause i hate her but i hated her b/c she reminds me of me when i was little with my brother and all he does is verbally and kind of emotional attack her. and all i want to say is why the hell are you with my brother leave for your own good but she keeps coming back to him plus shes having his baby. yep my brother is 21 and has two baby mommas. My mom she is also 1, 3, and 6 ( but she has no clue she does it unlike i think my brother does) my uncle whos blind is also 1. And hey ya I know I can be Very manipulative, fuck its a damn near survival instinct for me/ its all i got. I use the manipulation to calm my brother down and to get my mom to focus on other thing beside emotional manipulating my brother and me. people underestimate me all the time and I manipulate them so I can get out of a sticky place un harmed I can also be the queen of passive aggressiveness. but I dont deny it like my family does. I embrace it and then i try to move on to a better happier life but my family is just stuck in that we should be this way and the worst part is ( my grandma and grandpa were the same way it passes on from generation and i dont understand why no one see that) it is a constant struggle to not act like a 1 or any one of these because ever since i was a child this is how my family acts and thought i dont want to continue this toxic heritage I am scared that when i have kids I will be the same way with them and not even realize it.
I think most of the manipulators mentioned above see their own action as a way of self-defense, particularly the explosive types. They feel cornered or in danger that their needs won't be met, so they make sure they are not ignored. I think deep-down they know but they see their fears as a weakness other people will exploit, so they are too ashamed to admit it.
They have never learned how to do it better and they may even not see a reason to do that as long as their explosions work.
The exceptions to this are of course the sociopaths, who take pleasure in the act of demeaning others and lack certain human emotions to begin with. With them, their actions are no smokescreen to hide fears.
+Shelby
It is good that you see what you are doing. This is the first step to change. And it sounds like you would like to change.
I think the best way would be to see a therapist so you can express your feelings and get them sorted out without harming a person you like.
The thing is, if you grow up in a toxic environment, you learn to mold into it from an early age. Those behaviours then become so ingrained -- if left untreated -- that they become like a second nature.
And if you get into a stressful situation, maybe with your own future children (and children do it all the time), your second nature comes out automatically. When we are stressed out, we cannot think clearly and do what comes automatically. Thinking comes only afterwards, when the harm is already done.
Therefore it is necessary to learn new strategies in a calm environment. I know, I come from a toxic family myself. I have no children but I have un-learned the ways of my family.
Same here!! Wth is wrong with that generation?!
The little people look like stars
Omugai if you think about it we all look like stars
10 types of emotional manipulators.
1. the constant victim
2. the I'm better than you
3. powerful dependants.
4. triangulators
5. anger blasters
6 the projector
7 deliberate mis interpreter
8 the flirt
9 the intimidator
10 multiple offender.
My old friend was 1 and 2 also sorta like 3 as well
My girlfriend used to be like this. She did all of these minus one or two. But then she had a reality check, and that saved our relationship.
Was kind of hoping you'd go into detail on how to be some of the manipulators and what to do. Darn XD
Same ):
Rena Bevario Its kind of hard not to when you know you're already one. Ironically, I actually found the article this video was based off of and it went a bit deeper into the different types though I would've liked it if it went even deeper. Plus, it doesn't hurt to know. It may be helpful one day. 030
TheDangerWolf it's pretty easy to manipulate.....that's why you gotta have a watchful eye and make sure you're not on da receiving end
Why tho??
me too /:
The fact that i have emotionally abused my ex without me knowing makes me just want to torture myself every night cause of how sorry i am..
A sincere apology can help both you and your ex. If you own up to what you did, say that you're sorry and that you wish to better yourself. Coming from someone who has been with a emotionally abusive partner, their apology helped me heal. Even if it's just through a letter, it can be powerful. Good luck :)
is it possible that a person is doing one or some of these things without them realizing it? if so, is that still them being manipulative or not?
miryochi yes. It is manipulation even if they don't know about it because it's still affects you.
they might not realize it but they are doing it and when you bring it up they often deny it and twist your words to the point where you know that you're wrong
My parents is all of these
Which sucks since it affects me greatly
Causing me to become mentally broken
Damn.
same do you have any tips
Same any tips? I’m not about to breakdown like going crazy
Chel Sea
Nope,sorry bout that
At the very least, your comment spacing is on point.
I hope your situation gets better!
same
I just got out of a relationship two days ago, I already had the suspicion it may not have been healthy..this confirms it
This video perfectly describes the narcopath currently in my life...which i am working myself AWAY from carefully to keep the smear campaign to a minimum while getting my self NARC FREE. This narc has convinced every single one of his friends that I am insane, dangerous and need to be avoided at all costs. He even went so far as to ask me for my therapist's contact info because he is worried I have "lost my grip on reality" and wants to contact her, to let her know what is "really going on" so I can "get the help I need".
Lucky for me, I have been down this road before with previous Narc relationships, and have learned to recognize emotional manipulation and gaslighting for what it IS instead of taking it all on and self-destructing under the pressure.
In contrast to the Narc's "assessment" of my sanity or lack thereof, my healthy friends, new and old, do not share any of the narcopaths opinions and find me quite "normal", delightful and saner than most. These healthy friends are stable in their opinions with consistent viewpoints year in and year out. The narc can change his opinion of me in a flash...one minute I am the one whose opinions he admires most, the next minute I am a totally insane psychopath who needs a therapist to help me "regain my grip on reality".
Around and around he goes....Love bombing, triangulation, gas lighting, Discard, Smear REPEAT. I am stepping off this toxic merry go round now and letting the narc think and say what he wants, while I walk away showing NO emotion, NO self-doubt & essentially cutting him off from his narcissistic supply. Nothing drives him more insane than "no contact" . He has already started the first phases of his Love Bombing, but each time I grow more and more immune as I accept this cycle will always repeat and never change.
Prowess Rayna in my case, my child's mother is actually the narc. She goes to therapy but she manipulates her therapist, so her therapist will reassure her. She's a master at all of the techniques mentioned above. The way I deal with her is by pointing out what she's doing, calling her on it, and showing her it will not work on me anymore.
Bless. I hope you don't have to continue being in that relationship with the narcissist for any longer.
*(It took me a while to figure out how to word this. If you find any miss-ups, please tell me! Thanks!!)*
MANIPULATORS ARE LIKE HATERS THEY ARE "EVERYWHERE!.....
sooo WE GOTTA MANUPATE PEOPE THAT MANUPLATE US SO WE GET REVEGE and im doing it on u tho....
My granddaughter turned 15 today, I rented an upscale hotel to spend our weekend to include a dinner at an upscale restaurant within the same hotel. Just because I didn’t invite her mom’s friend and husband to the dinner, she has made my weekend a living hell, with her attitude and smart remarks. I feel extremely sad and depressed with all this, what should’ve been an exiting and happy time turned out to be a nightmare.
I think my boyfriend is number 2, One-Upsmanship Expert. he plays around as if I'm stupid and don't know what Im doing (also victimizes himself) but at the same time he calls out manipulators and talks down on him. is this just another way of manipulation?
Yes, it is. It's part of a tactic named gaslighting. Stay away from him for good.
Haylee Kidd that's a dangerous person to be involved with.
Yes that is manipulating too. Huge red flag if he starts to cut you off from your friends and family and falsely accuses your loved ones of manipulating you and lying.
Your feeling are valid and trust your gut ❤
That sounds like it needs to be an EX-boyfriend. You DO NOT want someone like that to be the father of your kids. He'll do that crap to them too and on goes the cycle of brokenness.
@emi logane i feel you💔
7. is like, my ex-friend
10 is mine
OhmySweetlittleBlackheart 7 is my ex boyfriend.
Same
7 is my current bf
I had a friend that was exactly like this. She always would blame others for her issues and than shutdown. She wouldn’t want to talk about the issue, but then she would get angry because no one would ask if she is okay. My friendship with her was so emotionally and mentally exhausted. We, our friend group, tried to encourage her to talk about her issues with us. We had good memories, which is why it was difficult to cut connections with her. But I realized it was essential for my mental health to let her go. We all had issues but now it’s like it magically stopped. Ever since we distanced ourselves from her, our group has become stronger and we now know all of our boundaries. I don’t want to say I’m happy that we’re not friends anymore bc she was a good friend, at times, but this was a needed change.
My ex is definitely the deliberate misinterpreter! He was trying so hard to get back with me and I always had to explain myself to him (why I didn't want to be in a relationship etc.) and he will also play the victim. He would always try to make me feel bad about breaking up with him and at some point it worked (because he was that good at manipulating!). I reached a breaking point and completely cut him off and I feel at peace.
mom and dare are both multiple offenders, I cope by crying thrice daily
krispy noodle its ok m8 i also have people in my life like this
The more I listened to this video; my eyes are open to how emotionally manipulative my partner was and in the end it didn’t end well.
I'm number two ;-; I love the feeling of having power over people. I love the fear that they give, or to just feel like I matter.
I am well aware of it, and I try to control it. But nonetheless, it gets its way sometimes.
I love being right, and I hate losing. I hate feeling like the passive in an argument.
Me controlling it is just going quiet for a while, or acting like it's all jokes and play. Hue.
I can definitely relate to that.
what the fuck
+Falling Shadow
thanks for the accurate description of my "bestfriend"
What about the accidental manipulator?
I certainly don't ever want to manipulate people, but it always happens ;O;
I honestly wouldn't call someone manipulative unless they were a "multiple offender"
One "red flag" is alarming but honestly I might just... write it off as a personality flaw and they might not be doing it intentionally at all.
But once someone starts throwing out multiple red flags is when you get the fuck away and don't look back.
Being manipulative and sometimes doing something that counts as manipulative are two different things.
rel iikki Fair enough, I think that makes sense.
***** Well hey, maybe I am? I wouldn't have a clue.
Jenna Van Dyke Ahh, alrighty. That...also makes a lot of sense.
Though I probably am guilty of something, I mean who exactly would say what I did?