Hafeez !!! Simply asking if the person was nigerian is quite awkward . Marrying to stay in the country cuts across different ethnicities and you mentioning Nigeria wasn’t cool. Am Nigerian and I have lived here in the US for a while and I have been around different races and I think it happens everywhere. I do not support the act but you need to realize that most of the people that indulge in such act are under pressure and desire a better life and they don’t have too many options. A lot of immigrants came from very harsh societies where living conditions are very unbearable and as such some people make those decisions.Not everyone is lucky to have won visa lottery or to have been born in the USA. A lot of people marry to stay here, not just Nigerians. And a lot of the first generation Africans in the US were born by parents that went through such process too. Once again , I don’t support such act, but it does happen amongst different ethnicities. Am a legal nigerian that lives in the US, please don’t throw us under the bus.
@@adeyinkasoyinka5735 don't take thing personally my man/sister. its a joke. you will get early wrinkles if you easily get riled up by peoples words. has what he said taken anything away from you? has it made you less human? less worthy? has it made you poorer? sick? No it has not. no one can ever make you sad. only you can do that and don't.
Samuel Isaacs ;trust me , am not mad in any way, i just think we of African decent should be a bit careful how we speak about Nigeria especially in certain platforms. To a white man/ woman watching this , it might be an affirmation to what he or she believes. I love the roommate podcast very much .Nothing will ever come between me and my happiness. I just think we of African ancestry should be more careful about how we say certain things cos if a white American says the same thing , some of us might not see it as a joke, so why make such statement about ourselves
@@adeyinkasoyinka5735 viewing people as a collective is very misleading and harmful. no matter our similarities we are very different.people will always have stereotypes irregardless of nationality. what is key is how you react when a stereotype is thrown at you. you have a choice always. I prefer to let my self knowledge carry sway.no one can ever say anything to me to make me feel the need to defend my country.
Books Shan listed: The laws of human nature The art of seduction She comes first Come as you are Relationships: the science of happily ever after The social animal
I've tried having partners I wasn't very attracted to. I cared very deeply, but in the end, the desire/lust for them, simply wasn't there. I didn't want to admit to myself that I was this vain. But I realize that I would rather feel and be labeled shallow, (and be alone) than put someone I care for in that situation again. Because no one deserves to be loved but not wanted.
@Yoshiyahu Yisrael if you cheat on her then you should leave her probably. The pain she'll feel she'll eventually get over and then she can move on and find somebody that actually deserves her and be faithful rather than being with her out of pity
Luc, friends always ask me why I didn’t talk to this girl and that girl, and your response sums it up very well. I’m not interested in hurting a woman’s feelings. When I do it feels unnatural, and shallow like I’m not being true to myself.
I wish Shan would start her own podcast. She is always such an amazing guest and really answers as much as she asks important, interesting questions. I’m always so interested in everything she has to say. 😍
She had her own podcast back in 2017 (Shan Boody sex and Love). You can still find the recordings though. I think other platforms just worked better for her.
@@30yovegan34 They could have been a bit *more* mature AND professional, but honestly if I hadn't seen a clip of this interview (on someone else's YT channel) of her, I would have never found out about Shan when I did. Exposure--even in its less than favorable forms--can still be good.
It took time to get to That place ,, I think when you spend time with yourself and understand that,, that’s how you get what she’s saying and doing ,, I like the transparency
A common thread in this entire interview is how everyone improved their life by improving themselves. It's a good reminder that we do in fact have a lot of control of our situation, it just requires the right attitude to make it better. Great interview.
@@beautifulspirit7420 it's ok to be "mush" sometimes 🤷🏾♂️ you don't have to conform to one or the other you can be about your business and be a man and be "mush" around a female.
@@danieljewett3946 I agree, I have been married 25 yrs and my husband is a determined guy who is very hardworking but he treats me like a queen, he always tells me he'd be lost without me. The feeling is mutual.
Damn, I've seen 20,minutes of the interview and I'm already looking for her book on audible. She's a great "seducer", as she would put it though, yes attractive, but more generally has a magnetic personality. If you're paying attention, after speaking for a while, she'll ask for their input, but not simply for the sake of having done so, she asks questions that seem to be of genuine intrigue to her, she also makes the point of trying to invite the guy in the red shirt into the conversation. You can tell that she has a fair degree of mastery over the art of communicating and doing so in a manner that's engaging, as if she is concerned with how she comes across to others. I find this very inspiring, it's something I'd like to strive towards.
I'm realizing I want and need a higher caliber of adult friends. These guys are so dope 😔. First step is working on myself first, I'm sure, I'm not just saying that as a reference to what they are talking about either, I'd never have to time or energy to discuss and wax philosophical about intellectual concepts like this while struggling to make my car payment or concerned I might lose my entry level job for being late.
I don't get the hate and negativity comments. "She's too much for them" So what. It was a good show. To get better, you have to be around those who can make you better. They learned things and she learned things. What's the issue here ?
The people in these comments feel inclined to push their own understanding of how Shanboody feels. Just ignore them. They will learn to stop caring so much one day... hopefully. I hate people who try to demean others because of their intelligence level. Like are you going to look at a child and say "you're stupid for not knowing that Roosters don't lay eggs"? If you don't know you just don't know. Reading the comments seriously was upsetting me, but I realized that I am just me and thousands of personalities exist in this world.
I'm gonna have to read that one the Title is catchy I read alot of books on self improvement "Creating Money" "The Secret" "The Master Key Systems" "Think and Grow Rich"
First woman I heard besides myself say that physical attractiveness was one of her qualifiers. It’s actually the first qualifier that I “check off”. And I also tend to like men who look similar to me. I won’t be with someone who’s genetic code I wouldn’t reproduce, and I’ve always known that. I wish more women trusted themselves to be as open and honest as Shan.
Physical attraction is a given. You don't even have to go out of your way to specify that. All though some people don't put that at the forefront of their requirements it would be ideal to have it included.
Appreciate the honesty. N I am amused when people doesn't dare to speak or know what's in their concious or subconscious mind. Always trying to be politically correct, nd considering straight forwardness as gross.
Love that you had Shan Boody on here. I think when you have a strong self awareness, you have more awareness in general. You can read social cues better and feel another person's energy and whether or not they're open for connection, if there is even a connection at all. Most people are often hurrying through life sticking to some script given by society rather than being in flow and being present. As for rejection, what I've realized is that you can only allow rejection to affect your perception of yourself if you let it. Meaning, if you know who you are as a person, your worth, your value, and the purpose you have to serve others and the world, then someone who may not be interested does not change your value. It does not mean that you're a flawed human being. This goes back to doing the work on yourself and coming from a place of self love. That's not to say that you didn't make a mistake in an interaction with someone, it's to know that you are worthy. It's knowing that opportunities are always around you if you're open to seeing them. If we all come from a place of being self reflective and taking stock of our positive and negative traits, what a different world it would be.
I like how she broke down dating out of your league. its about what qualifications a person is looking for at the time it doesn't matter what league your in.
It’s less about being “too nice”, and more about not respecting natural boundaries, and trying to manufacture an intimacy where there haven’t been shared experiences that warrant it. I love nice men! Like sincerely kind dudes who listen, are patient, kind, make me feel safe, talk at a civil decibel even in disagreements. I don’t like men who text at all hours of the day,all day, give hella compliments I haven’t earned-cuz it’s insincere and disrespects natural boundaries...I don’t trust you and lowkey don’t think you’re “nice”
This is the one! And the probably hear they don’t get “any” because they’re too nice and those are also the one who want to get physical or sexual so fast. Keep touching you etc. a lot of time the “nice guys” seem desperate to “get some” and that’s the trait that’s unattractive over all to me at least
I was listening to this whole thing so intensely, I wish you could see how close I had the screen up to my face 😂 I loved this conversation! I wrote down every book mentioned too lol
Lol people are dumb asf they'll listen to anyone who acts out in rebellion this girl rode the cock carousel admittedly then found a good man what's so good about that
Chris is really dope. I feel like he balances out the conversation and allows room for pause, growth and for people to relate to the conversation... The most annoying thing is to listen to experts talking and you feel like you can never reach their level.
Don’t forget us demisexuals! Noticing that someone is sexually attractive never makes me attracted to them. I become attracted over time as I get to know them if they have a cheery personality regardless if they’re deemed by society as attractive or not. People like me do exist!
i am not sure if i am demi, but i do am interested in someone based on looks, like i recognize their beauty, but i only desire kissing them, when theres a bond, when there is some romantic feeling there...before that, i dont wanna do anything with them, besides talking. and some guys just dont understand that...when i say, i rather be friends
The guy that treated me the greatest I wasn’t physically attracted to. He won me over by how he made me feel and the effort he put into things including me.
this was so good that I came back a second time to indulge and take notes. Shan Boody brought out the best in the both of you - and the both of you brought out the best in Shan Boody. Great episode!
I really like Shan's analogy of being "the Walmart greeter of intimacy" and what she means by it when she breaks it down. Appreciated this conversation!
I loved this interview! I'd recommend including your guest contact details in the description box & any material that is mentioned during the interview, e.g. books that are recommended.
Chris needs to really work on integrating more smoothly into conversations. I’ve seen several of these videos where he just seems to be floating in the stratosphere and his partner is carrying the conversation. Being a solid communicator is a foundational aspect of having a podcast. Prepare, at least, before recording a conversation, bring an index card with a few talking points related to the topic, begin to study the elements of motivational interviewing. This way, your very presence won’t dampen the conversation. You’re welcome.
T think he is just a type of guy who tend to genuinely absorb information and he doesnt talk much because he's busy processing in his head about the topic. Not everyone is an exchanger in a convo
Tee. __ facts I feel like he’s new to these topics so he wants to take it all in first to educate himself, he doesn’t wanna ask the wrong question and detour them conversation
@@tee.__4688 -he is simply overwhelmed by how beautiful this chick is. and dominated by her intellect. its hard to be a man pretending not be interested in what he is staring at.
Wow, I can’t believe he brought up the injured soldier comparison. That love is based upon another level. In those types of situations, both partners are truly devoted to one another and their family. It’s especially important to each other for their children to grow up with their father.
These are Shan’s favourite books and I think they’re a great combo pack to dating, sex and long term relationships. Come as you are: Emily Nagoski Laws of Human Nature: Robert Greene The Art of Seduction: Robert Greene The game of desire: Shan Boodram The science of happily ever after: Ty Tashiro The social animal: David Brooks GL Lambert: why men don’t like women like you. 28:00
This is an enlightening interview. I like that Hafeez comes prepared with facts and books to talk about, which kept the conversation interesting and smooth.
You can just tell that the darker skin guy has hurt so many woman by thinking that he was always the victim due to his past experiences. He makes fantastic points and they a little unconsciously bias at times.
This whole conversation was affirmative for me in that I am good at having a conversation with different people because I’m good at choosing who can speak with. I feel more confident and not like someone who’s “too much” or “a lot to handle” just because I don’t think people are use to a woman like me who knows how to present themselves. It happens to me all the time.
The way these two identified themselves as nice guys is so revealing. I find these two men so interesting. I never dated men like this, because I was never attracted to the "nice" guy out of ignorance or human nature.
"I like to flirt. So my partner can not be jealous." That's perfectly fine as long as you're able to receive and accept the same. Too many times people ask/request of something from a partner/S.O. that they themselves can not handle and will not put up with if the shoe were on the other foot.
My hunch is that she’s emotionally aware enough to live that life, and appreciates when a partner is also confident and self-aware and emotionally intelligent enough to behave that way but still be honorable and faithful, etc.
@@BIGDRXXMR444 I talk or flirt with a woman and she says she has a boyfriend and I leave it alone. I am not a flirty person. If I talk to a woman it just means that I think they look nice not trying to marry them.
At 22 you will indeed hurt. Even hurt some more. These are your self Development years. Don't worry. You will come out of this with a stronger sense of self!
These comments misinterpreted feeling completely comfortable and laughing with being too giggly,, You don’t have to play it cool 😎 all the time, it’s refreshing
It was very delightful to hear this women’s perspective. I enjoyed this interview but Honestly her level of knowledge, and expertise IMO overshadowed these two men. I liked how she did the work to improve on herself. The fact that the other guy couldn’t explain his top 3 items on his list said a whole lot . I felt at times she was low key playing with them.
I wouldn't say it's that type of competition, or a competition at all...more like, they brought her on the podcast to listen to what she has to say, and get her personal insights on stuff...
I had no idea I needed this conversation, the vibes from each of you, the respect shown for the truth, and for all the topics discussed, for the betterment of individuals through personal responsibility, self accountability, all whilst trying to help more people connect and find true, deep love. And speaking for myself, I have renewed hope, and motivation, which I've been struggling to find through the dark, desolate place I've been stuck in lately.. Thank you, thank you. God bless you all 🙏🏼💕
I actually noted a few to add to my reading list: Game of desire She comes first Laws of human nature Art of seduction The science of happily ever Coldest winter ever
@nahkxxx Discovered these guys via Jesse Lee Peterson's "The Fallen State" - amazing how a(n attractive) women so easily gets buffoons to act civilised.
This is interview is so good. I've read 2 of Robert Greenes books and "Why Men Don't Like Women You" - really great book now will be reading the laws of Human Nature. So agree with them expressing building up yourself as a person not just learning game. Ladies John Gray (author of Men from Mars...) also has a new book coming out and his stuff is really interesting well. Love talking about relationship conversations 😁😊🙌🏽
This is a awesome conversation about relationships very well thought out. And I that the conversation are between men and women. This needs to happen a lot more. Awesome thanks
I’ve become physically attracted to people only after developing an emotional connection 🤷🏾♀️ physical attraction is important but has less to do with strictly physical appearance if you ask me.
Is it me or was Chris’ energy was down this whole interview. Thanks for having Shan Boody on here this was a great conversation which helps us self-reflect and take accountability for our own actions.
Its not just you, He was defo elsewhere, or he gave the space for Hafeez and the guest to shine. However him looking down way to many times and zooming out was concerning. I hope you good Chris?! Thank you for Shan I definitely need some tools for healthy intimate communication so will be checking hers and other books suggested.
There not being immature they’re comfortable with them selves to try not to put on a false persona. There called the roommates for the reason, she’s on there shows so her image is more important then there’s. She’s in the mode of educating and there in the mode of learning. Doesn’t always have to be serious
@@Xaexanii No, you can see they're simping. Obviously she's not "mediocre" from a looks perspective but they're giggling around like teenage girls. It's sad.
@Andrew McCall Jr. Is your masculinity that fragile that you can't admit that she's actually a female kicking ass and very smart and well informed on the topic and is actually being in charge because the men hosting the show are not capable of steering it to the right direction?
@@kagendokaecha9080 No man likes seeing the TIRED stereotypes of Hollywood bleeding into the real world. I would have handled this conversation a bit different she's an Alpha female for sure.
That was a blissful and I liked the humor beside the high intelligent facts they talked about. Most podcasts are so dry and static. I loved this one! You guys rock ❤️😍
I don’t think wanting someone physically attractive is shallow. 1st what I consider physically attractive is for me, not everyone will like what I like 2nd I think that’s a part of longevity- if I’m going to be involved with something long term it better look good. To keep me coming back. I like my food to look why not my man. Thanks roommates for the introduction to Ms Boody she’s freaking awesome. I like what she said about making the first move in life and her example of getting shutdown. Taking temperature is my new shit. And I won’t go seven if they go two 😉
Slime Peso who said that...I said what looks good to me is not for everybody. I actually like a football built guy or a guy on the heavier side who takes care of his appearance if I were to say I have a type . But I also know how to let you go if your not a God centered person who is bearing fruits of a christian( kind, loving, great father, self assured, confident) The guy I’m dating right now is slim with a gap, but he is a really kind person who is great to his kids and my kids his personality makes him handsome
Excellent Build. She looked like she had more balls than yall lol. She was grounded . Men need to be more grounded when interacted with women instead of top heavy. But I Enjoyed the show. Keep it up!
I really appreciate Shan having this conversation....other things stated here were .....subjective. Eat the meat, spit out the bone kinda thing. She is amazing and I love what she brought to this conversation.
This video was amazing. Like the conversation blow my mind. It really gave me so much to think about. I’m watch again and take notes. But Shan is amazing I saw some her personality in me and it made realize wow I’m not the only one who had done that or who have felt this way before.
Join our worldwide community here: www.patreon.com/theroommates
AWESOME episode
Hafeez !!! Simply asking if the person was nigerian is quite awkward . Marrying to stay in the country cuts across different ethnicities and you mentioning Nigeria wasn’t cool. Am Nigerian and I have lived here in the US for a while and I have been around different races and I think it happens everywhere. I do not support the act but you need to realize that most of the people that indulge in such act are under pressure and desire a better life and they don’t have too many options. A lot of immigrants came from very harsh societies where living conditions are very unbearable and as such some people make those decisions.Not everyone is lucky to have won visa lottery or to have been born in the USA. A lot of people marry to stay here, not just Nigerians. And a lot of the first generation Africans in the US were born by parents that went through such process too. Once again , I don’t support such act, but it does happen amongst different ethnicities. Am a legal nigerian that lives in the US, please don’t throw us under the bus.
@@adeyinkasoyinka5735 don't take thing personally my man/sister. its a joke. you will get early wrinkles if you easily get riled up by peoples words. has what he said taken anything away from you? has it made you less human? less worthy? has it made you poorer? sick? No it has not. no one can ever make you sad. only you can do that and don't.
Samuel Isaacs ;trust me , am not mad in any way, i just think we of African decent should be a bit careful how we speak about Nigeria especially in certain platforms. To a white man/ woman watching this , it might be an affirmation to what he or she believes. I love the roommate podcast very much .Nothing will ever come between me and my happiness. I just think we of African ancestry should be more careful about how we say certain things cos if a white American says the same thing , some of us might not see it as a joke, so why make such statement about ourselves
@@adeyinkasoyinka5735 viewing people as a collective is very misleading and harmful. no matter our similarities we are very different.people will always have stereotypes irregardless of nationality. what is key is how you react when a stereotype is thrown at you. you have a choice always. I prefer to let my self knowledge carry sway.no one can ever say anything to me to make me feel the need to defend my country.
Books Shan listed:
The laws of human nature
The art of seduction
She comes first
Come as you are
Relationships: the science of happily ever after
The social animal
men dont love women like you
Thank u
Thank you, I appreciate
Thanks for listing those
Did he say Guns, Germs and Steel?
Is it me or are the guys extremely giggly and she’s just chillin’?
Well she is hot lol
They don’t know how to handle themselves.
Correct
Yep, they're acting like her Groupies.
yeah they seem to be a tad on the simple side of things/socially awkward for sure to be so big and sexy ....and simple
I've tried having partners I wasn't very attracted to. I cared very deeply, but in the end, the desire/lust for them, simply wasn't there. I didn't want to admit to myself that I was this vain. But I realize that I would rather feel and be labeled shallow, (and be alone) than put someone I care for in that situation again. Because no one deserves to be loved but not wanted.
This is probably the best comment here.
Yoshiyahu Yisrael Leave her. The pain is more bearable now than later.
Leave her. She can survive it with support
@Yoshiyahu Yisrael if you cheat on her then you should leave her probably. The pain she'll feel she'll eventually get over and then she can move on and find somebody that actually deserves her and be faithful rather than being with her out of pity
Luc, friends always ask me why I didn’t talk to this girl and that girl, and your response sums it up very well. I’m not interested in hurting a woman’s feelings. When I do it feels unnatural, and shallow like I’m not being true to myself.
I wish Shan would start her own podcast. She is always such an amazing guest and really answers as much as she asks important, interesting questions. I’m always so interested in everything she has to say. 😍
She had her own podcast back in 2017 (Shan Boody sex and Love). You can still find the recordings though. I think other platforms just worked better for her.
Right? Such a great interviewee being wasted by these two clowns.
@@30yovegan34 They could have been a bit *more* mature AND professional, but honestly if I hadn't seen a clip of this interview (on someone else's YT channel) of her, I would have never found out about Shan when I did. Exposure--even in its less than favorable forms--can still be good.
Chelsey Schwan same
She ain’t free no more 😂
Love what she said about “ If I’m trusting to partner with you, trust their judgement”. Major nugget for the ladies.👌🏾
Exactly!!
Excellent!
God loves Couture yessss
Leah star don’t marry him, if you don’t respect him. I learned the hard way
It took time to get to
That place ,, I think when you spend time with yourself and understand that,, that’s how you get what she’s saying and doing ,, I like the transparency
“ I realized I wasn’t a nice guy, I was needy.” 😱😱
This hit me in my soul.
A common thread in this entire interview is how everyone improved their life by improving themselves. It's a good reminder that we do in fact have a lot of control of our situation, it just requires the right attitude to make it better.
Great interview.
She's beautiful, intelligent and also very charming. It's evident in the way these guys are constantly giggling, they can't help themselves.
I love how this guys act all tough and like they mean business, until you put a smart attractive woman in front of them and then they are mush.
@@beautifulspirit7420 it's ok to be "mush" sometimes 🤷🏾♂️ you don't have to conform to one or the other you can be about your business and be a man and be "mush" around a female.
@@danieljewett3946 I agree, I have been married 25 yrs and my husband is a determined guy who is very hardworking but he treats me like a queen, he always tells me he'd be lost without me. The feeling is mutual.
Why is she so real? Where do I find friends like this?!
Damn, I've seen 20,minutes of the interview and I'm already looking for her book on audible. She's a great "seducer", as she would put it though, yes attractive, but more generally has a magnetic personality.
If you're paying attention, after speaking for a while, she'll ask for their input, but not simply for the sake of having done so, she asks questions that seem to be of genuine intrigue to her, she also makes the point of trying to invite the guy in the red shirt into the conversation.
You can tell that she has a fair degree of mastery over the art of communicating and doing so in a manner that's engaging, as if she is concerned with how she comes across to others. I find this very inspiring, it's something I'd like to strive towards.
I'm realizing I want and need a higher caliber of adult friends. These guys are so dope 😔. First step is working on myself first, I'm sure, I'm not just saying that as a reference to what they are talking about either, I'd never have to time or energy to discuss and wax philosophical about intellectual concepts like this while struggling to make my car payment or concerned I might lose my entry level job for being late.
ebae
Kisto Ogbaugo same tbh !
Not in the usa 🤣🤣🤣
“If you don’t like the hand you were dealt, start dealing your own cards” 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽 speak girlfriend
Tell that to people in poor countries you people are so full of yourself
Shan Boody : Queen of the one liners that cut straight to it. "I like books on the why". Everything she says is worth repeating.
I don't get the hate and negativity comments. "She's too much for them"
So what. It was a good show.
To get better, you have to be around those who can make you better. They learned things and she learned things.
What's the issue here ?
exactly. These are the kinds of guest you want on your show, and friends you want to spend time with
The people in these comments feel inclined to push their own understanding of how Shanboody feels. Just ignore them. They will learn to stop caring so much one day... hopefully. I hate people who try to demean others because of their intelligence level. Like are you going to look at a child and say "you're stupid for not knowing that Roosters don't lay eggs"? If you don't know you just don't know. Reading the comments seriously was upsetting me, but I realized that I am just me and thousands of personalities exist in this world.
@@chillie000 yeah not about shan. Chris definitely tho
I wouldn't call it hate more of an observation
The dynamic is worth observing for men who are interested in attaining relationships with women of similar appearance.
I could listen to her all day. She passionate about what she does, well done girl x
Men Don’t Love Women Like You is a good read. It breaks a lot of things down that are causing problems for women in dating and relationships.
B. TheBeautiful I have that book it’s so good
I'm gonna have to read that one the Title is catchy I read alot of books on self improvement "Creating Money" "The Secret" "The Master Key Systems" "Think and Grow Rich"
Pimpishone “The Power of Now” and “Money, and the Law of Attraction” are good reads as well.
@@BElyse43
Have you read... The Bible?
@Slime Peso
Sigh...
It's not in WOMEN'S nature to love, as they have none to give.
But sure, listen to Satan and present bad as "good".
"You can't go in with a preference on how you want to love other people" this is DEEP!
I am a huge fan of her energy. There were moments when I felt like she was the host of the show. It’s very grounded.
"She's married, ok let's get back to the show." 😂😂😂 Hafeez, you tried. Lol.
Does she still practice an open relationship while married?
@@uriahcox4734 idk, that's a good question. I remember when she used to talk about open relationships on her channel.
@@uriahcox4734 Biggest contradiction in existence.
Not anymore since being married and she is pregnant now, and has not entertained the idea of it anymore
@@TiffanyLovee she should put out that information on how she was wrong about open relationships or how her view changed
First woman I heard besides myself say that physical attractiveness was one of her qualifiers. It’s actually the first qualifier that I “check off”. And I also tend to like men who look similar to me. I won’t be with someone who’s genetic code I wouldn’t reproduce, and I’ve always known that. I wish more women trusted themselves to be as open and honest as Shan.
If you don’t think other women care about men’s looks you don’t speak to any women. Women way more shallow than men now.
Lydia Harp respect your honesty
Physical attraction is a given. You don't even have to go out of your way to specify that. All though some people don't put that at the forefront of their requirements it would be ideal to have it included.
@@6packproductions710 But why shouldn't looks be important to a woman? Men may be more visual, but most women aren't blind.
Appreciate the honesty. N I am amused when people doesn't dare to speak or know what's in their concious or subconscious mind. Always trying to be politically correct, nd considering straight forwardness as gross.
shan is so articulate and well spoken, even her natural conversation was seductive. loved this episode.
Love that you had Shan Boody on here. I think when you have a strong self awareness, you have more awareness in general. You can read social cues better and feel another person's energy and whether or not they're open for connection, if there is even a connection at all. Most people are often hurrying through life sticking to some script given by society rather than being in flow and being present. As for rejection, what I've realized is that you can only allow rejection to affect your perception of yourself if you let it. Meaning, if you know who you are as a person, your worth, your value, and the purpose you have to serve others and the world, then someone who may not be interested does not change your value. It does not mean that you're a flawed human being. This goes back to doing the work on yourself and coming from a place of self love. That's not to say that you didn't make a mistake in an interaction with someone, it's to know that you are worthy. It's knowing that opportunities are always around you if you're open to seeing them. If we all come from a place of being self reflective and taking stock of our positive and negative traits, what a different world it would be.
Thanks for the comment
What you wrote here is too sweeeet 👌🏾👌🏾👌🏾👌🏾👌🏾👌🏾👌🏾👌🏾
Correct. Most of us never want to see the beast in ourselves only the beauty.
Millenials aren't following the script MOST of us have never been married and we are 23 to 40 years old.
This was a reeaalllyy good one guys! Shan hit it on the money! One for the books in my opinion
Samuel Soyebo y’all you enjoyed it
I like how she broke down dating out of your league. its about what qualifications a person is looking for at the time it doesn't matter what league your in.
"You have to allow people to qualify themselves before you give them affection and intimacy..." #Tweetable #Quotable
This Shan woman,is a alpha type hahahaha she's basically taking over the interview hahahahaha.
It’s less about being “too nice”, and more about not respecting natural boundaries, and trying to manufacture an intimacy where there haven’t been shared experiences that warrant it. I love nice men! Like sincerely kind dudes who listen, are patient, kind, make me feel safe, talk at a civil decibel even in disagreements. I don’t like men who text at all hours of the day,all day, give hella compliments I haven’t earned-cuz it’s insincere and disrespects natural boundaries...I don’t trust you and lowkey don’t think you’re “nice”
This is the one! And the probably hear they don’t get “any” because they’re too nice and those are also the one who want to get physical or sexual so fast. Keep touching you etc. a lot of time the “nice guys” seem desperate to “get some” and that’s the trait that’s unattractive over all to me at least
I was listening to this whole thing so intensely, I wish you could see how close I had the screen up to my face 😂 I loved this conversation! I wrote down every book mentioned too lol
What are book names !?
She actually sat up there with her leg propped up the whole time..........impressive lol
I could listen to her all day. She passionate about what she does, well done girl x
Very!
What is so impressive about that?
Lol people are dumb asf they'll listen to anyone who acts out in rebellion this girl rode the cock carousel admittedly then found a good man what's so good about that
@@orellanaanthuan1364 😩Not the cock carousel! Lorrrrrd👀😂
Chris is really dope. I feel like he balances out the conversation and allows room for pause, growth and for people to relate to the conversation... The most annoying thing is to listen to experts talking and you feel like you can never reach their level.
This woman is so smart. 🙌🏾
Great guest but that’s mostly because I love her. She’s wise beyond her years
💯💯💯
Don’t forget us demisexuals! Noticing that someone is sexually attractive never makes me attracted to them. I become attracted over time as I get to know them if they have a cheery personality regardless if they’re deemed by society as attractive or not. People like me do exist!
i'm like this as well
i am not sure if i am demi, but i do am interested in someone based on looks, like i recognize their beauty, but i only desire kissing them, when theres a bond, when there is some romantic feeling there...before that, i dont wanna do anything with them, besides talking. and some guys just dont understand that...when i say, i rather be friends
@Valt why would you das that?
Yesssss
That's me fr. Most the girls I've fucked had something that interested me
The guy that treated me the greatest I wasn’t physically attracted to. He won me over by how he made me feel and the effort he put into things including me.
I love the respect trust and adoration Hafeez has for Chris. Great friendship
GAY
Yea that was sweet to see how he knew his friends love language lol
this was so good that I came back a second time to indulge and take notes. Shan Boody brought out the best in the both of you - and the both of you brought out the best in Shan Boody. Great episode!
I really like Shan's analogy of being "the Walmart greeter of intimacy" and what she means by it when she breaks it down. Appreciated this conversation!
I loved this interview! I'd recommend including your guest contact details in the description box & any material that is mentioned during the interview, e.g. books that are recommended.
Agreed
Yes.
Chris needs to really work on integrating more smoothly into conversations. I’ve seen several of these videos where he just seems to be floating in the stratosphere and his partner is carrying the conversation. Being a solid communicator is a foundational aspect of having a podcast. Prepare, at least, before recording a conversation, bring an index card with a few talking points related to the topic, begin to study the elements of motivational interviewing. This way, your very presence won’t dampen the conversation. You’re welcome.
T think he is just a type of guy who tend to genuinely absorb information and he doesnt talk much because he's busy processing in his head about the topic. Not everyone is an exchanger in a convo
The red shirt guy wasn’t on the same wavelength as the other two. It seemed as if he wasn’t even trying
Tee. __ facts I feel like he’s new to these topics so he wants to take it all in first to educate himself, he doesn’t wanna ask the wrong question and detour them conversation
@@tee.__4688 -he is simply overwhelmed by how beautiful this chick is. and dominated by her intellect. its hard to be a man pretending not be interested in what he is staring at.
He honestly comes off as an immature frat boy. He dosent add to these conversations.
This Shan woman,is a alpha type hahahaha she's basically taking over the interview hahahahaha.
@Yemi definitely
This is LITERALLY her profession and yes she a “Alpha women”.
@Yemi no she's a real woman
@@terencemayers6568 this is what a good woman will do to men
She the person being interview is she NOT suppose to talk lol
Wow, I can’t believe he brought up the injured soldier comparison. That love is based upon another level. In those types of situations, both partners are truly devoted to one another and their family. It’s especially important to each other for their children to grow up with their father.
Moral of the story, self respect and value. we are creators. Love this interview mentally stimulating.
These are Shan’s favourite books and I think they’re a great combo pack to dating, sex and long term relationships.
Come as you are: Emily Nagoski
Laws of Human Nature: Robert Greene
The Art of Seduction: Robert Greene
The game of desire: Shan Boodram
The science of happily ever after: Ty Tashiro
The social animal: David Brooks GL Lambert: why men don’t like women like you. 28:00
"If someone's taking two steps don't take seven." GOD DAMN that hit me 👏🏾💥💥
When she said “yasssss bihhh who you talking to?” Chris face 😂😂😂 he always sit back and observe every video
This is an enlightening interview. I like that Hafeez comes prepared with facts and books to talk about, which kept the conversation interesting and smooth.
This is so deep in emotional intelligence . Love it !!!
This is wholesome content at it's finest. Thank you for this gem 💎💯.
You're welcome!!
She was literally describing my childhood 😢 Oh my gosh, it was normal.
You can just tell that the darker skin guy has hurt so many woman by thinking that he was always the victim due to his past experiences. He makes fantastic points and they a little unconsciously bias at times.
I dated someone I wasn't physically attracted to in the beginning and ended up liking him lol
That's interesting
But liking isn't sexual attraction though. Did you become sexually attracted to him?
Dumfries Spearhead after I liked him yes
@@jessicat2304 That's cool.
@@toomuchinformation WTF is "sexual attraction"?
Sounds satanic...
That's not mgtow, mature men understand beauty is in the eye of the beholder, the young lady hit it on the head, good show!
This whole conversation was affirmative for me in that I am good at having a conversation with different people because I’m good at choosing who can speak with. I feel more confident and not like someone who’s “too much” or “a lot to handle” just because I don’t think people are use to a woman like me who knows how to present themselves. It happens to me all the time.
The way these two identified themselves as nice guys is so revealing. I find these two men so interesting. I never dated men like this, because I was never attracted to the "nice" guy out of ignorance or human nature.
ALLOW PEOPLE TO QUALIFY THEMSELVES had to like for that
Honestly this is some great talking here. Communication is key!
I love Shan Boody. I'm so happy that you guys had her on your show.
"I like to flirt. So my partner can not be jealous."
That's perfectly fine as long as you're able to receive and accept the same. Too many times people ask/request of something from a partner/S.O. that they themselves can not handle and will not put up with if the shoe were on the other foot.
Very true!
My hunch is that she’s emotionally aware enough to live that life, and appreciates when a partner is also confident and self-aware and emotionally intelligent enough to behave that way but still be honorable and faithful, etc.
I don't understand flirty people when they're in relationships .
Why flirt if you're not actually sexually interested in them?
@@BIGDRXXMR444 validation, ego boost, narcissism. Quite a few reasons tbh
@@BIGDRXXMR444 I talk or flirt with a woman and she says she has a boyfriend and I leave it alone. I am not a flirty person. If I talk to a woman it just means that I think they look nice not trying to marry them.
Who is interviewing who? I literally forgot who the guest was.
#A Queen
Right?! I think that’s what makes this interview so great.
I’m 22 and I’m been hurt a few times to where I’m just tired😩 I needed this video it was god SENT!
If you look back, you'll see you probably avoided loads of guys that would have done right by you. ⚠️
At 22 you will indeed hurt. Even hurt some more. These are your self Development years. Don't worry. You will come out of this with a stronger sense of self!
C Johnson appreciate this 💙
@@LilianAshley512 No worries Sis. I was 22 also! Now I am 41. You will come out stronger than ever. Trust.
“Looks is a Depreciating Asset,” I love how Shan said that. Wonderful interview
always ready to hear the voices of being comedic like a stand up, captivating like a Ted Talk, and uplifting like a sermon! BLESS UP Boys!
Mere words.
These comments misinterpreted feeling completely comfortable and laughing with being too giggly,,
You don’t have to play it cool 😎 all the time, it’s refreshing
I agree
Agreed!!!
This was a great interview, you guys really delved deep into the content and delivered!
Absolutely love Shan Boody, I was literally taking notes every time she made a good point!!!
It was very delightful to hear this women’s perspective. I enjoyed this interview but Honestly her level of knowledge, and expertise IMO overshadowed these two men. I liked how she did the work to improve on herself. The fact that the other guy couldn’t explain his top 3 items on his list said a whole lot . I felt at times she was low key playing with them.
Thanks, yt, for recommending this channel to me. Good stuff, guys!
She is too deep for these guys. They tried though! Kudos to them for having such a intelligent woman on the show!
True but these men invited her into the podcast. So cant complain she needs to have her own podcast one day
I wouldn't say it's that type of competition, or a competition at all...more like, they brought her on the podcast to listen to what she has to say, and get her personal insights on stuff...
Sol_ninja assassin right, this demon child has a warped mind
Hazeem seems to hold his own. I think if it was just Hazeem and the guest, the conversations would be different. Hazeem adds a different depth.
They giggle too much. Its like a man having an intellectual conversation with a teenager 🤦
I had no idea I needed this conversation, the vibes from each of you, the respect shown for the truth, and for all the topics discussed, for the betterment of individuals through personal responsibility, self accountability, all whilst trying to help more people connect and find true, deep love. And speaking for myself, I have renewed hope, and motivation, which I've been struggling to find through the dark, desolate place I've been stuck in lately.. Thank you, thank you. God bless you all 🙏🏼💕
I love this episode. Centuries ago women were the first to initiate a conversation by dropping the handkerchief
This lady is brilliant! Loved it & I learned a lot just listening and of course the guys contributions 👌🏾👌🏾
It would be cool to have a list of the books talked about here.
I actually noted a few to add to my reading list: Game of desire
She comes first
Laws of human nature
Art of seduction
The science of happily ever
Coldest winter ever
craziinancy1 thanks for this! ♥️
The Art Of Seduction is one of my faves. A classic!
this podcast was everything...lots of very eye-opening points that not everyone is ready to hear!!
How can you not love Mrs. Brady🖤 Definitely one of my favorite interviews you guys have done so far.
Glad you enjoyed
This conversation is so good. You have to have Matthew Hussey on here.
That’s besides the point.
@@sylviakaranja9636 Is it?
@nahkxxx White Derrick Jaxn
@nahkxxx
The kind of guys that start cults, then go to jail for every form of abuse imaginable.
@nahkxxx
Discovered these guys via Jesse Lee Peterson's "The Fallen State" - amazing how a(n attractive) women so easily gets buffoons to act civilised.
This is interview is so good. I've read 2 of Robert Greenes books and "Why Men Don't Like Women You" - really great book now will be reading the laws of Human Nature. So agree with them expressing building up yourself as a person not just learning game. Ladies John Gray (author of Men from Mars...) also has a new book coming out and his stuff is really interesting well. Love talking about relationship conversations 😁😊🙌🏽
This is a awesome conversation about relationships very well thought out. And I that the conversation are between men and women. This needs to happen a lot more. Awesome thanks
I listen to all content with her...she is so emotionally major
I’ve become physically attracted to people only after developing an emotional connection 🤷🏾♀️ physical attraction is important but has less to do with strictly physical appearance if you ask me.
This chick is awesome no lie , she's the type of chick I would settle down with, and not just because of her looks
💯
Great interview love when she speaks so well spoken and knowledgeable!!
Is it me or was Chris’ energy was down this whole interview. Thanks for having Shan Boody on here this was a great conversation which helps us self-reflect and take accountability for our own actions.
Its not just you, He was defo elsewhere, or he gave the space for Hafeez and the guest to shine. However him looking down way to many times and zooming out was concerning. I hope you good Chris?! Thank you for Shan I definitely need some tools for healthy intimate communication so will be checking hers and other books suggested.
He wasnt feeling well
@@katarzynaklos6527 He's a waste of space "comedy foil", forever the child in the room.
@@darrengordon-hill I agree!!! It would be better without him :(
Darren Gordon-Hill Well that was awfully brutal.
Liked for Shan Boody! Appreciated the guy who engaged and talked a lot. The other guy was distracting.
they're a bit immature for her level of passion/education for her work.....
There not being immature they’re comfortable with them selves to try not to put on a false persona. There called the roommates for the reason, she’s on there shows so her image is more important then there’s. She’s in the mode of educating and there in the mode of learning. Doesn’t always have to be serious
@@Xaexanii No, you can see they're simping. Obviously she's not "mediocre" from a looks perspective but they're giggling around like teenage girls. It's sad.
Right, the light skinned dude hasn't made a point for a whole damn hour
@Andrew McCall Jr. Is your masculinity that fragile that you can't admit that she's actually a female kicking ass and very smart and well informed on the topic and is actually being in charge because the men hosting the show are not capable of steering it to the right direction?
@@kagendokaecha9080 No man likes seeing the TIRED stereotypes of Hollywood bleeding into the real world. I would have handled this conversation a bit different she's an Alpha female for sure.
That was a blissful and I liked the humor beside the high intelligent facts they talked about. Most podcasts are so dry and static. I loved this one! You guys rock ❤️😍
She is very good. “You know what’s funny? None of that has anything to do with how they interact with you.” She should get therapist a license.
I don’t think wanting someone physically attractive is shallow. 1st what I consider physically attractive is for me, not everyone will like what I like 2nd I think that’s a part of longevity- if I’m going to be involved with something long term it better look good. To keep me coming back. I like my food to look why not my man.
Thanks roommates for the introduction to Ms Boody she’s freaking awesome. I like what she said about making the first move in life and her example of getting shutdown. Taking temperature is my new shit. And I won’t go seven if they go two 😉
It's how you end up with fuck boys.
Slime Peso who said that...I said what looks good to me is not for everybody. I actually like a football built guy or a guy on the heavier side who takes care of his appearance if I were to say I have a type . But I also know how to let you go if your not a God centered person who is bearing fruits of a christian( kind, loving, great father, self assured, confident) The guy I’m dating right now is slim with a gap, but he is a really kind person who is great to his kids and my kids his personality makes him handsome
Darren Gordon-Hill you could be right, but that would imply that ONLY fuck boys are attractive. Believe me I have dated unattractive fuck boys
Yolanda Yolanda skinny with a gap? What do you mean by that?, his teeth?
Mr. Miraculous gap- yes his teeth, what I mean is he may not be the “traditional” handsome by America standards, but he attractive to me.
Excellent Build. She looked like she had more balls than yall lol. She was grounded . Men need to be more grounded when interacted with women instead of top heavy. But I Enjoyed the show. Keep it up!
This is probably the first video of this length on RUclips that I’ve listened to in a looong time. SO much good stuff. I’ve got so much to improve.
I'd love to see a list of all the books mentioned next time
The title of her next book should be "Boody Call"
I've never heard of any of these three people, but this was cool. Something good happening here.
So much of what I've learned and known for years has been validated here. Shan gets it. They all get it. Well done.
I really appreciate Shan having this conversation....other things stated here were .....subjective. Eat the meat, spit out the bone kinda thing. She is amazing and I love what she brought to this conversation.
“Men Don’t Love Women Like You” by G.L, Lambert
Damn this was a really good conversation. I just started checking out Robert Greene’s books as well. I’ma check out her channel.
Ummm, this needs more views... Loved it!
shan has grown grown! beautiful to see. great episode guys 💚🌱
Somebody time stamp those books yo, on god.
Enlightening funny such a good conversation
Thank you
Really enjoyed this episode!!! It was great seeing Shannon...I remember watching her Those Girls are Wild videos!
This video was amazing. Like the conversation blow my mind. It really gave me so much to think about. I’m watch again and take notes. But Shan is amazing I saw some her personality in me and it made realize wow I’m not the only one who had done that or who have felt this way before.