Honestly though, the other woman was truly rude not to acknowledge or respect his wife after she was introduced. That other woman was definitely an AH.
Totally agree. Sure, wife has some body insecurity, but as a woman who had a hot musician husband (now passed away), I know there's a lot of mama bear protection instinct that raises the hackles when 'innocent stranger women' are there 'just talking' and 'accidentally' keep showing up. LOL NTA for OP and wife, but there seems to be a lot of men who admit that they don't notice the subtle hints of a woman's advances and wives/girlfriends with awesome guys should be careful not to direct those unsettled feeling at the man, just diffuse the situation. Like one commenter suggested, politely make your presence known. And hey, if there's problem after that, then you roll up your sleeves and take the trash out. LOL JK! Keep it polite, ladies... unless it's a live music bar full of thirsty bizzos. ❤
As Dusty was reading the initial post, I was definitely sensing that it was biased toward OP’s POV. I think the wife telling OP not to talk to *that* woman, who seemed to be deliberately putting herself in OP’s path, acting flirtatious, and ignoring the wife’s existence, was a reasonable ask. I also wish OP had been more understanding of his wife’s insecurities. But he kind of gaslit her with the whole “She wasn’t flirting with me.” Without being there, it’s hard to tell whether OP was oblivious or wife was overdramatizing what happened because of her insecurities (although given wife’s comments about the woman “randomly” showing up where the husband was, I think it’s the former), but OP seemed more focused on asserting his right to talk to anyone that he didn’t just validate his wife’s feelings. That probably would have gone a long way. His whole reaction kind of rubbed me the wrong way, and I think there was a good reason this particular woman’s actions triggered her. But yeah, “Don’t talk to hot women” isn’t a reasonable ask. OP’s right that when you have kids, you end up interacting with other parents all the time. I often talk to men at the playground or whatever. Usually, it’s limited to “how old is your kid?” and “What’s their name?” so I *really* hope they’re not taking it as flirting!
I've seen this one before. OP liked the sexual attention and is willing to gaslight his wife to get it. That's going to erode his marriage over time. My dad handled any woman who was overly flirtatious the same way. He told them he was happily married. He remained friendly, but dropped the flirtiness if he felt it was misconstrued. I still think this is the best way for married couples to handle attention.
Honestly it sounds more like she was more upset about the other women obviously ignoring her and following them from place to place to talk to her husband. The disrespect revealed the other women’s intentions. Op is NTA for the small talk, ops wife is NTA for communication her discomfort. The other women is TA for ignoring the wife.
@@ms.tdorsey3490, Pepper spray is illegal in some countries... and using it on unsuspecting women would result in assault charges (or worse). Otherwise, Carl is correct, that's what he needs to do. :p
I just hope the wife will learn to embrace her new body and love herself the way she is. I'm sure she is gorgeous, and she has every reason to feel proud of the amazing things her body has done!
To the OP. You don't need to worry. Your hubby loves you to pieces. When's the next time this ever happens that a woman ignores you to flirt with your attractive hubby. Put your arms around your hubby and say excuse me I'm his wife it is a pleasure to meet you. A little petty confetti
As someone from Australia (all about the beaches), I think any level of beach attire is fine for a friendly chat. Let's not shame folks for clothing choices. Go ahead and shame them for their crappy behaviour, though 😂
I love that they actually had talked to each other and Wifey just wanted to get other's opinions so she could see where to go from there. She was quite open about how she felt and understood that it may have just been her insecurities and most people wouldn't openly admit that. That being said, whilst Hubby may be oblivious (welcome to the club, Sir) when it comes to being hit on, that woman seemed very interested in causing a stir. Ignoring the bikini, she kept popping up and ignoring Wifey's presence and I am wondering where her own family was during this. Maybe they should have asked if they could have the kids and her Hubby join them and see how quick she denies or complies.
Am I the only one that sees there are a couple differences in the story he told versus the story his wife told. He said that they had one brief interaction and she is saying that they were there for at least five minutes, enough time for her to close her eyes and then start watching again. Also he never ever mentioned that the lady blew his wife off to come and talk to him again, and he never said that they saw her multiple times on the trip. I would never have said he shouldn’t talk to a woman in a bikini, but it’s obvious that the lady is coming on too strong to her husband. And he told us that she was in inappropriate bikini, but the wife is saying that after she pointed it out, he said, that’s a bold choice. He needs to be more self-aware.
Gee, some woman wearing a "tiny" bikini on a beach in Miami, which is somewhat infamous for barely legal swimwear, and having a conversation that's totally innocent. I think the wife is somewhat insecure maybe about her own figure? What does one wear to a beach anymore? A potato sack? Wife, it was a RESORT! People are going to run into each other at various times in such a situation.
Right? She asked for names, his age, where they're from, how long they'll be there. If it was a guy asking a woman that, all sorts of alarm bells would go off, but since it's a lady in a bikini, it's safe?
I think each person has a bit of fault in this situation. The husband knowing how his wife feels about her body could of kept the conversation polite, but short. The wife of course for allowing her insecurities to get the best of her and it does seem as though the woman was looking to “score” considering she completely disrespected/disregarded the wife’s presence when introduced.
NTA, I will say the focus on the bikini is problematic lol, what any woman is wearing is not important. The husband continuing to talk with her after his wife said it made her uncomfortable might put him on the scale though.
Did OP do anything more than talk? Did he show any signs of flirtation? What bikini girl does won’t matter as much as what he does. Glad she admitted it was her insecurity prompting this, and that they can joke about this (hopefully.)
I think OP should’ve at least mentioned he was married when any woman come up to talk to him & he needs to acknowledge his wife when other women try to continue talking to him while she is around. He should be more considerate & thoughtful about her feelings if she’s bothered by it.
NTA wife is insecure. Next time every woman who approaches you to talk tell her she needs to talk to your wife as your wife is so insecure she cannot see past the end of her nose. SMH your wife needs therapy if you cannot talk about the weather with strangers.
Op you’re wrong. Woman love dads and are always on the prowl. It was was obvious when she kept popping up and not acknowledging your wife. After she said your kid was cute the convo didn’t need to go on. Now you know.
Both things can be true. The wife can be insecure and the woman was flirting with him. I understand his dismissing the beach incident. But when this woman ignored his wife in front of him, that should lend some weight to what she's been saying. She needs to work on his stuff and so does he. "I'm oblivious" gets old, learn. It's weaponized incompetence. He can't recognize when women hit on him so she should work on her insecurities. Problem solved!
As often as bikini woman popped up during their vacay is a huge red flag. She was not being polite. She was being over the top intrusive. She was making advances. Shame on Husband for not shutting down her intrusion into his time playing in the sand with his son. Bikini woman was being obtuse about the entire situation. Did she think he was going to dump his family for scantly clad her? Also, nowadays people asking that many questions is suspect - child trafficking, etc. Let’s not be naive & unaware.
No shame on him. He is oblivious to women flirting with him because he has eyes for his wife. The minute she let him know, he shut down that woman. She needs to get over her insecurities or just communicate with her husband when she sees it because he responds when informed.
The beach incident by itself is no big deal. But if this woman kept popping up wherever they were the rest of their time... That's a little sketch if she kept coming over to the husband. I'm not really clear on that detail. But that's not the husband's fault. And it sounds like the husband was respectful and kind of quickly ended the conversation after the beach time. So the husband is fine. Wife should trust her instincts but handle herself better and ease up a bit. Because if you freak out when it's a non-issue, no one's going to listen when it's a real issue and you freak out then
Why are guys only oblivious to women coming onto them. When in the same breath, they are super protective if a man is anywhere in the vicinity of their women.
What a missed opportunity for the wife. If she was sitting there scrutinizing the husband playing in the sand with his son while a woman stood nearby conversing while keeping her eyes on the water (on her own kids), OP's wife could have gone down to her family, introduced herself to the woman, made the same small talk, and perhaps initiated a new friendship with another parent of young children. If you don't want to see bikini-clad women talking to your husband at the water's edge, don't go to the beach; if you do go to the beach, stay with your husband and there won't be a problem. Nothing was stopping the wife from building a sand castle with the child - it would have been a 'family' memory, not just Dad and child. OP wasn't wrong in anything he did: he was spoken to, out of courtesy he spoke back. If wife doesn't believe her husband when he tells her the conversation was innocent, then she's seriously insecure. That being said, the fact that OP started out by saying his wife is making him write this, that he felt the need to tell her immediately when he returned to her with the child from building the sand castle every line of the conversation he had with the stranger, there's more going on here than a little trust issue: some jealousy, manipulation, control and emotional blackmail. If she continues to doubt her husband's honesty and behavior when he's right in front of her, I can't imagine what OP goes through when he's away from home running errands or working all day. The more she suffocates him, the further away she's pushing him and eventually he won't have eyes just for her: self fulfilling prophecy of sorts.
Yeah sorry but I can not blame OP's wife for being pissed that he kept talking to that b***h knowing that it made his wife upset. He could have walked away, Yes he is only into his wife but come on dude put yourself in your wife's shoes. Bet OP would not like a hot man constantly tracking her down and ignoring her husband and flirting with her. Glad OP and his wife are solid.
The wife sounds alittle insecure and may need to address this if she doesn't want it intruding in her life and making it harder than it needs to be. That said,if it is true the other woman was trying hit on him,shame on her. But Op isnt NTA.
The fact that he shut her down after bikini girl ignored his wife and went straight after him makes him NTA. If he didn't do that then he'd be TA, but yeah.
NTA. Neither is the wife, but she definitely has some trust/self-esteem issues. If OP has never given her a reason to worry then this is just a her problem. I say this as a woman who's first husband cheated on her. I'm currently married and don't hold that against him. I can see why the wife didn't like it, I really can, but she's taking it to far
Children are like magnets to women. They see a man with a child and most immediately start asking dad questions. She was flirting. Dad isn't an asshole, but, he may be should have excused himself and went back to his wife's side. Wife isn't an asshole for being upset that husband didn't walk away. HOWEVER she knows how people, both men and women, dress at the beach. She should have never agreed to or planned to go to the beach. That was her mess up. Everybody has blame here but I wouldnt call anyone an asshole
My rule of thumb is if rules were reversed how would you feel. In this instance it sounds like me with dudes. Absolutely clueless 😂 I think she is overreacting. Also the nurse wasn't flirting imo 😂
Honestly though, the other woman was truly rude not to acknowledge or respect his wife after she was introduced. That other woman was definitely an AH.
Totally agree. Sure, wife has some body insecurity, but as a woman who had a hot musician husband (now passed away), I know there's a lot of mama bear protection instinct that raises the hackles when 'innocent stranger women' are there 'just talking' and 'accidentally' keep showing up. LOL
NTA for OP and wife, but there seems to be a lot of men who admit that they don't notice the subtle hints of a woman's advances and wives/girlfriends with awesome guys should be careful not to direct those unsettled feeling at the man, just diffuse the situation.
Like one commenter suggested, politely make your presence known. And hey, if there's problem after that, then you roll up your sleeves and take the trash out. LOL JK! Keep it polite, ladies... unless it's a live music bar full of thirsty bizzos.
❤
It sounds like OP is so oblivious to women flirting with him because he only has eyes for his wife.
Atleast they were adult enough to have a decent conversation even if they needed an outside perspective
My husband always mentions me when interacting with friendly women. I'm blessed to have a husband who feeds my security.
As Dusty was reading the initial post, I was definitely sensing that it was biased toward OP’s POV. I think the wife telling OP not to talk to *that* woman, who seemed to be deliberately putting herself in OP’s path, acting flirtatious, and ignoring the wife’s existence, was a reasonable ask. I also wish OP had been more understanding of his wife’s insecurities. But he kind of gaslit her with the whole “She wasn’t flirting with me.” Without being there, it’s hard to tell whether OP was oblivious or wife was overdramatizing what happened because of her insecurities (although given wife’s comments about the woman “randomly” showing up where the husband was, I think it’s the former), but OP seemed more focused on asserting his right to talk to anyone that he didn’t just validate his wife’s feelings. That probably would have gone a long way. His whole reaction kind of rubbed me the wrong way, and I think there was a good reason this particular woman’s actions triggered her.
But yeah, “Don’t talk to hot women” isn’t a reasonable ask. OP’s right that when you have kids, you end up interacting with other parents all the time. I often talk to men at the playground or whatever. Usually, it’s limited to “how old is your kid?” and “What’s their name?” so I *really* hope they’re not taking it as flirting!
I've seen this one before. OP liked the sexual attention and is willing to gaslight his wife to get it. That's going to erode his marriage over time.
My dad handled any woman who was overly flirtatious the same way. He told them he was happily married. He remained friendly, but dropped the flirtiness if he felt it was misconstrued. I still think this is the best way for married couples to handle attention.
Honestly it sounds more like she was more upset about the other women obviously ignoring her and following them from place to place to talk to her husband. The disrespect revealed the other women’s intentions. Op is NTA for the small talk, ops wife is NTA for communication her discomfort. The other women is TA for ignoring the wife.
What should he do carry pepper spray and scream I have a wife?
That would make it worse in some situations 😂😂😂.
@@ms.tdorsey3490,
Pepper spray is illegal in some countries... and using it on unsuspecting women would result in assault charges (or worse). Otherwise, Carl is correct, that's what he needs to do. :p
@aralornwolf3140 I was referring to the part of yelling he has a wife...some women don't back down they see it as a challenge.
I just hope the wife will learn to embrace her new body and love herself the way she is. I'm sure she is gorgeous, and she has every reason to feel proud of the amazing things her body has done!
Op nta, wife nta.
Love them both so much❤
Love candy’s input at the end 😂💕
in the end. Didn't you see the video he posted?
Is a beach not a social setting?
Op, blink twice if you're being held hostage (i kid)
I hope they learn to communicate a little better and that the wife can work through her insecurities because it sounds like OP is loyal
NTA, she's being insecure and controlling. Soon as you said "my wife is making me write this" I had a feeling it was going to go that way
To the OP. You don't need to worry. Your hubby loves you to pieces.
When's the next time this ever happens that a woman ignores you to flirt with your attractive hubby. Put your arms around your hubby and say excuse me I'm his wife it is a pleasure to meet you. A little petty confetti
As someone from Australia (all about the beaches), I think any level of beach attire is fine for a friendly chat. Let's not shame folks for clothing choices.
Go ahead and shame them for their crappy behaviour, though 😂
NTA
The real AH was the other woman, not for wearing a bikini, but for ignoring OP's wife.
I love that they actually had talked to each other and Wifey just wanted to get other's opinions so she could see where to go from there.
She was quite open about how she felt and understood that it may have just been her insecurities and most people wouldn't openly admit that.
That being said, whilst Hubby may be oblivious (welcome to the club, Sir) when it comes to being hit on, that woman seemed very interested in causing a stir. Ignoring the bikini, she kept popping up and ignoring Wifey's presence and I am wondering where her own family was during this. Maybe they should have asked if they could have the kids and her Hubby join them and see how quick she denies or complies.
Am I the only one that sees there are a couple differences in the story he told versus the story his wife told. He said that they had one brief interaction and she is saying that they were there for at least five minutes, enough time for her to close her eyes and then start watching again. Also he never ever mentioned that the lady blew his wife off to come and talk to him again, and he never said that they saw her multiple times on the trip. I would never have said he shouldn’t talk to a woman in a bikini, but it’s obvious that the lady is coming on too strong to her husband. And he told us that she was in inappropriate bikini, but the wife is saying that after she pointed it out, he said, that’s a bold choice. He needs to be more self-aware.
Gee, some woman wearing a "tiny" bikini on a beach in Miami, which is somewhat infamous for barely legal swimwear, and having a conversation that's totally innocent. I think the wife is somewhat insecure maybe about her own figure? What does one wear to a beach anymore? A potato sack?
Wife, it was a RESORT! People are going to run into each other at various times in such a situation.
As a nanny, I would say don't tell randos your kids info, skimpy clothes or not.
Right? She asked for names, his age, where they're from, how long they'll be there. If it was a guy asking a woman that, all sorts of alarm bells would go off, but since it's a lady in a bikini, it's safe?
I think each person has a bit of fault in this situation. The husband knowing how his wife feels about her body could of kept the conversation polite, but short. The wife of course for allowing her insecurities to get the best of her and it does seem as though the woman was looking to “score” considering she completely disrespected/disregarded the wife’s presence when introduced.
NTA, I will say the focus on the bikini is problematic lol, what any woman is wearing is not important. The husband continuing to talk with her after his wife said it made her uncomfortable might put him on the scale though.
Did OP do anything more than talk? Did he show any signs of flirtation? What bikini girl does won’t matter as much as what he does. Glad she admitted it was her insecurity prompting this, and that they can joke about this (hopefully.)
I think OP should’ve at least mentioned he was married when any woman come up to talk to him & he needs to acknowledge his wife when other women try to continue talking to him while she is around. He should be more considerate & thoughtful about her feelings if she’s bothered by it.
The problem here is the bikini woman flirting with an obviously married man.
lol OP’s wife needs to gain some confidence.
10:20 😂
Lol 😂
💚
NTA wife is insecure. Next time every woman who approaches you to talk tell her she needs to talk to your wife as your wife is so insecure she cannot see past the end of her nose. SMH your wife needs therapy if you cannot talk about the weather with strangers.
Op you’re wrong. Woman love dads and are always on the prowl. It was was obvious when she kept popping up and not acknowledging your wife. After she said your kid was cute the convo didn’t need to go on. Now you know.
Both things can be true. The wife can be insecure and the woman was flirting with him. I understand his dismissing the beach incident. But when this woman ignored his wife in front of him, that should lend some weight to what she's been saying. She needs to work on his stuff and so does he. "I'm oblivious" gets old, learn. It's weaponized incompetence. He can't recognize when women hit on him so she should work on her insecurities. Problem solved!
NTA. Grow up.
As often as bikini woman popped up during their vacay is a huge red flag. She was not being polite. She was being over the top intrusive. She was making advances. Shame on Husband for not shutting down her intrusion into his time playing in the sand with his son. Bikini woman was being obtuse about the entire situation. Did she think he was going to dump his family for scantly clad her? Also, nowadays people asking that many questions is suspect - child trafficking, etc. Let’s not be naive & unaware.
No shame on him. He is oblivious to women flirting with him because he has eyes for his wife. The minute she let him know, he shut down that woman. She needs to get over her insecurities or just communicate with her husband when she sees it because he responds when informed.
The beach incident by itself is no big deal. But if this woman kept popping up wherever they were the rest of their time... That's a little sketch if she kept coming over to the husband. I'm not really clear on that detail. But that's not the husband's fault. And it sounds like the husband was respectful and kind of quickly ended the conversation after the beach time. So the husband is fine. Wife should trust her instincts but handle herself better and ease up a bit. Because if you freak out when it's a non-issue, no one's going to listen when it's a real issue and you freak out then
Why are guys only oblivious to women coming onto them. When in the same breath, they are super protective if a man is anywhere in the vicinity of their women.
What a missed opportunity for the wife. If she was sitting there scrutinizing the husband playing in the sand with his son while a woman stood nearby conversing while keeping her eyes on the water (on her own kids), OP's wife could have gone down to her family, introduced herself to the woman, made the same small talk, and perhaps initiated a new friendship with another parent of young children. If you don't want to see bikini-clad women talking to your husband at the water's edge, don't go to the beach; if you do go to the beach, stay with your husband and there won't be a problem. Nothing was stopping the wife from building a sand castle with the child - it would have been a 'family' memory, not just Dad and child. OP wasn't wrong in anything he did: he was spoken to, out of courtesy he spoke back. If wife doesn't believe her husband when he tells her the conversation was innocent, then she's seriously insecure. That being said, the fact that OP started out by saying his wife is making him write this, that he felt the need to tell her immediately when he returned to her with the child from building the sand castle every line of the conversation he had with the stranger, there's more going on here than a little trust issue: some jealousy, manipulation, control and emotional blackmail. If she continues to doubt her husband's honesty and behavior when he's right in front of her, I can't imagine what OP goes through when he's away from home running errands or working all day. The more she suffocates him, the further away she's pushing him and eventually he won't have eyes just for her: self fulfilling prophecy of sorts.
look,,,,,,,,, DId you get her number or not. Did you post any of the pics while you hooked up with her?
Yeah sorry but I can not blame OP's wife for being pissed that he kept talking to that b***h knowing that it made his wife upset. He could have walked away, Yes he is only into his wife but come on dude put yourself in your wife's shoes. Bet OP would not like a hot man constantly tracking her down and ignoring her husband and flirting with her. Glad OP and his wife are solid.
Wife needs counseling! She’s so insecure and controlling! This can become abusive
The wife sounds alittle insecure and may need to address this if she doesn't want it intruding in her life and making it harder than it needs to be. That said,if it is true the other woman was trying hit on him,shame on her. But Op isnt NTA.
The fact that he shut her down after bikini girl ignored his wife and went straight after him makes him NTA. If he didn't do that then he'd be TA, but yeah.
NTA. Neither is the wife, but she definitely has some trust/self-esteem issues. If OP has never given her a reason to worry then this is just a her problem. I say this as a woman who's first husband cheated on her. I'm currently married and don't hold that against him. I can see why the wife didn't like it, I really can, but she's taking it to far
Children are like magnets to women. They see a man with a child and most immediately start asking dad questions. She was flirting. Dad isn't an asshole, but, he may be should have excused himself and went back to his wife's side. Wife isn't an asshole for being upset that husband didn't walk away. HOWEVER she knows how people, both men and women, dress at the beach. She should have never agreed to or planned to go to the beach. That was her mess up. Everybody has blame here but I wouldnt call anyone an asshole
My rule of thumb is if rules were reversed how would you feel. In this instance it sounds like me with dudes. Absolutely clueless 😂 I think she is overreacting. Also the nurse wasn't flirting imo 😂