I don’t belong here
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- Опубликовано: 28 сен 2024
- I hope you enjoy.
Cornfield Chase
• Cornfield Chase (Piano...
Solas
• Solas - Jamie Duffy [s...
Oneheart x Reidenshi - Snowfall
• Video
Great Fairy’s Fountain
• Great Fairy's Fountain...
Deep Thoughts
• Deep Thoughts
Waiting for you
• waiting for you
Cold Lonliness
• cold loneliness
Remnants of genesis
• remnants of genesis
Elena Zaikina
I opened an Instagram account. You can follow if you want. I will share various drawings and some music pieces.
Instagram : / atascodetiempo
Pinterest : / atascodetiempo
Spotify : open.spotify.c...
I am 25 years old.
I started getting sick more often.
My apartment was stolen by my aunt.
My dream job no longer brings me pleasure, only stress and fatigue.
And just recently I heard that my dad died, alone in the kitchen, suffocating in agony.
I'm sitting by the sea now with a bottle of vodka in my hands and cigarettes, listening to this playlist. I'm tired. Terrible, tired.
Hope u get a better future & overcome ur obstacles 👍😊
Live a little, don't hope for anything, gladly accept the suffering that is the way of life you see but you are the one who brings meaning to it, became a true warrior
everything will definitely work out. give yourself time. don't give up. there are still so many good things in life
Hey, don't do anything stupid. Become stronger is the only way.
And when I see people with worse problems I thank God for the gift of life 😅😅😅
That feeling when you feel like a background character in your own life.
I feel it. god control everything
Well said
@@salmanalyahya6771 or the devil.
If you feel like a background character in your own life change your mind set my brother! You are the star and the main character In The story of your life!
I can relate to this comment, there was a moment I told myself, I was not the main character of my own life...
You know it hurts more. When dreaming of a place that brings comfort, yet it has no place for you in it.
I know exactly what you mean.
I know and understand
I dont want to die, i want to go into a coma and sleep forever. Im good at lucid dreaming, its a talent. And I can be the one in control of my dreams.
BARZ 🍻🔥 definitely should do some writing homie. I been trying n it's trash. You just put into words how I been feeling..
so what.
I am homesick for a place that doesn't exist
i so get you, mate.
Seek guidance in your ways, perhaps you purposefully feel this way
Heaven I guess
I had no idea, but this is exactly how I feel
와...❤
when it starts off with interstellar, you just KNOW it's gonna be good.
I was gonna write exactly the same thing✨
Off Course
@@rosante9016 lpa pool pl
i've been seeing people talk about this song for a while now, but i feel like i'm still missing something- is it from a movie or something?
@@chickenxdrum4655 yes, its from the movie 'interstellar'
When you read all those beautiful comments you just know how powerful is music to connect special people in one place.
u r right damn right 💗
yep sis
🥺🌹🫂
I have never seen a man such a goddamn right
wish i could just sleep on your lap.. your peaceful face cuts my loneliness..
Time stamps ;)
0:00 - Cornfield Chase
2:21 - Solas
6:50 - Snowfall
9:21 - Great Fairy's Fountain
11:17 - Deep Thoughts
13:34 - Waiting For You
15:38 - Cold Loneliness
18:54 - Remnants of Genesis
нужно закрепить комментарий
thank you
Thanks a lot 🤗
tksssssssssss
❤
I wrote a haiku whilst listening to this:
Life is the canvas,
I am but a broken brush,
Ink of tears and blood.
This is wonderful 💚
I can relate to this haiku.
Beautiful
❤❤ What a piece of writing
ASS
youre not jin sakai
i feel like the villain of my own story. it's been eight years since i've felt this way the first time and it never gets better. i don't have anyone to talk to and people say that i'm annoying. i kinda agree. today my mom just sent me messages that made me feel so useless, i just can't deal with this shit anymore. now, i just exist. everyday i sit in a dark room and listen to this type of music for hours. it's the only way i found to feel something, feel alive and at least cry for a minute.
Maybe talk to a therapist if you feel as if your being annoying, it’s their job to listen and help you. Some companies take health insurance, you should look into that. :D
@@nana_lingchan oh, yeah, i know! but i don't like to talk about my problems to my friends. i just talk about fun things, things that we like, but they don't give much attention. so i'm not talking much anymore. just writing what i want to say in some papers.
@@kawabones I know how you feel and that feeling really sucks. Having no one to talk you just hurts and makes you feel empty. And just that feeling of being a burden if you talk about your feelings......it's awful. However, I just want you to know, that I've been there and it really gets better overtime even if everything feels so dull right now. So please hang in there
@@kawabones that’s a start. Writing can be a good way to express yourself and maybe even begin the process of getting better
You can go to God, He heals the brokenhearted and can heal you
As someone who dabbled in philosophy, to seek knowledge and truth, I ended up realizing that we do indeed not belong here. After many doctrines and studies, I came to the conclusion that seeking truth out of your own volition will always turn you back to nihilism...
We are sojourners in this world and we will only be here a small amount of time, then we shall return home. If no one here knows of this home, then nowhere we seek the truth among our fellow humans will we find it.
Some turn to spirituality, some to enlightenment or eudaimonia... I turned to God... To my father Yahweh.
I follow in his ways and now I feel a bit more at home, but I know the day will come when I will have completed my journey and will have arrived home...
Amen to that if you don’t know Jesus as your personal Lord and Savior I ask that you seek first Him and you will find a love you’ve never known
This playlist reminds me of this quote it is one of my favorite:
_"Perhaps one did not want to be loved so much as to be understood"_
*George Orwell*
ama sevmeden anlamaya çalışmak pek mümkün değil
The kind of love that I long for
@@elifyasemin4364 mümkün bence :)
is it from 1984 ??
Sorry, does this mean that one crave more for being understood than being loved? I’m foreigner so I can’t fully understand this sentence 😢
_"I am fine,"_ he said, leaning out of the window while watching the deserted streets of Granite City soaked by the icy-cold morning rains.
오 개쩐다.... 님 작가임?
@@CTD-y8j 나는 창의적인 글쓰기 연습을 시작했어요.
you are rigjt my friend
Something I can not let go is overthinking. The deeper I go, the darker it gets, and the darker it gets, it'll be harder to get up, I don't feel like fighting, I just want peace. I don't want to be physically in this world, which drives me crazy even more.
yeah exactly. What hurts for me is that the more i overthink, its not that i form up unrealistic non-existent problems, rather, the more i overthink, the deeper i see myself, the more i understand the depth of the issue im facing, how problematic and depressing it really is. You just start to see the raw form of the world you're living in and its not easy to brush that off.
Say to yourself, "just one more step" whenever you overthink. I know it can be tough sometimes but let's start from here.♥
your words...are now mine to hold on to.
so please...... give me more
Sometimes you think that you want to disappear but all you really want is to be found.
I didn't know that i can be described like this. Thank you ❤
Thank you I might actually understand it now
❤
You explained it so simply...
that hurts...
The shadows of the night,
Creep in and steal my sight,
As I wander in this place,
Feeling like a stranger, out of place.
The people here, they smile and greet,
But I know that I'm incomplete,
For I don't belong in this space,
I'm just a soul, without a place.
I try to fit in, to be a part,
But I feel it in my heart,
That I'm not meant to be here,
That my presence brings a tear.
The laughter echoes through the air,
But all I can do is stare,
Wondering why I feel so alone,
In this place that should be home.
The walls are closing in,
As I try to find my kin,
But all I find is emptiness,
And a sense of hopelessness.
I don't belong, it's crystal clear,
And with every passing year,
The pain just grows and grows,
And my heart just overflows.
For I know that I will never find,
A place where I can truly unwind,
And so I wander, lost and forlorn,
A soul that will never be reborn.
Wow. Did you write this?!?
this is absolutely amazing. whose work is it? is it yours?
@@drawingtime2089.0_-_ Yes I wrote this while listening to this music :)
@@milad2586 Thanks! Yes it's mine. Wrote this while listening to this music.
@@Serafime_x I enjoyed reading your poem while listening to this music. Both of them are great. Thank you for sharing it.
I was expecting for a "Creep - Radiohead" themed playlist, but what I found was so much better. Love it.
Sure. They should know about pain .about love. Sad Thing is thatvits the truth. But illigal to communicate.. @🤲
I was expecting any depressing or just eerie radiohead song but not Creep.
@@fKek-yy8tz The title of the video is a lyric in creep, therefore us smart people expected Creep.
Yeah, I was expecting the same as you 😂🥺
LMAOOOOOO ME TOO
Reading the comments and realizing I’m not the only empathic soul who can reach such beautiful depths…
U are definitely not alone 🙏
How good does it feel? I want to feel good.
Freak 🦿
Get out of my face you butter bean coco hobo
@@SeisoMindedWishing you good health with a toast, Mr. Sourpuss. Cheers. 🍻
I am 18. At this age, my neuropsychologist told me I am autistic. The bullying, sadness, and being misunderstood for everything covers force these present days. Understanding this, I got to know my foolishness, unconsciousness and feeling like I just don't belong here. No one understands me, but judges me. I want to find the place I belong, so this reality can be more manageable. Not being able to talk about how I feel, is the worst experience this world can possess.
I am 18 years old too, I just want to say we both still have such a long way to go. Everyone has a place in this life, on this planet. It’s the people that make it unbearable but I promise one day you will realize that all those people were childish and unimportant. That does not erase all those things you had to go through, which I am also very sorry for, but you will heal and I really hope it will happen asap. I wish you the best, please don’t let anyone tell you anything bad to get you down, don’t let them. Let yourself feel those emotions because that’s how you will be able to let go of them
@@yuki-or-what Oh thank you for your words, kind person! These days, your words are important to me. I'll keep you in mind. Take care of yourself too, and I wish the best for you too. ^^
Good music and a little bit of kaizen are always the remedy...feel at home in your weird and anxious body n soul and you'll be fine 😊
I just got diagnosed at 23 and I am going through the exact same thing, the grief, the shame, the realizations. The beauty and the love I found. But also the profound depth of sadness I had to reach before I was understood.
Hey friend. I'm 20, soon to be 21 and was diagnosed at 18. I promise, it gets better. Take time and unmask, unlearn the damaging habits you had to learn to be 'normal', it isn't worth it. It will take time to learn who you really are, learn to stop being constantly "okay" and "comfortable" for other people's comfort. Youve got this, trust me. It's amazing what you can do and how you feel when you become a friend to yourself
Let yourself be free. Grieve the pain you had to go through to get here, and know you did it. You've survived, but you'll learn to thrive. I promise, the process is hard, but freeing 🫂
You need to go to the darkest parts of yourself in order to get better. Accept and soothe those parts in order to move forward.
And remember, you can't trip over what's behind you.
the thumbnail kinda breaks my heart.
that look, full of sorrow, sadness and tiredness is something i sadly can relate to.
sending big and warm hugs to whoever needs them.
we will eventually be happy, i know we will.
❤
the thumbnail is literally a chained up captive vampire from the show 'penny dreadful'. in this scene, he tries to rip his own hands off to escape from his captors and, after pleading to have 'guts and blood and bats' as food, he devours the flesh off a cat.
I sure do hope you can't relate to this.
@@evelynvas3800 😳😳😳
thanks heaven i actually DO NOT relate to that.
(also, thank you for the explanation 😁)
@@elenamaniscalco the show he's from is really good btw! requires strong nerves and an even stronger stomach but it's basically a dark and sensual adaptation of gothic literature with characters like dracula, frankenstein, dorian gray etc.
How can I search for the thumbnail? Where can I found it?
@@andreeamirelaplachta1747 if you google 'penny dreadful fenton', the character should come up.
Been in the dark for so long that now it provides me with the tender warmth that I so longed
Ah I don't think there's any warmth in darkness 😔 to me its just cold and lifeless. I've spent time in there too. I think only because of God is there any hope of warmth, or light in the darkness. Without him its just an endless void. But that's my viewpoint anyway
u get it
for me it is calming cold...... freezing all thoughts into a "does not matter" feeling which can give piece
you stole the video picture and put on you're pfp
Cold loneliness is just unexplainable.
It's painful
@@Mimi-yr2hz Thats not even close to what it actually is
@@wekieh what words can express it?
inexplicable.
sadly true...
- from Indonesia -
This means so much for me. The title, the art. I felt like a stranger all my life. Everywhere I went, I could feel and see with my own eyes that I'm not a part of it, that they're themselves, and I'm myself. I easily understand people but people just aren't on the same chapter as me and I rarely make an actual long lasting connection with anyone. I really dont know how people fit in so instantly, in the end I always end up by myself doing my own thing. I've told many people about this and a lot of them agreed but at the same time couldn't quite get parts of me. They would tell me I'm very social and extraverted so why do I feel this way, well suck it. That doesn't mean I feel good.
And maybe that's why I chose to be an artist, to at least express these opinions, views and thoughts filled in me.
People always told me I'm different, everyone at least once said that to me. And I do wonder that's why I'm sentenced to this loneliness, because I came here for a different purpose and I'm just on another chapter and book than others. But I suppose all of us have a chapter of our own in this Book of Purpose. The feeling of unbelonging never leaves.
You can express feelings trough art, that's what makes it so beautiful
@@love_kpop6269 wow that's such a cool view/opinion, I'll remember it. thus it felt good knowing someone read my comment.
Thank you for pouring your feelings. While reading it, I saw myself through your description. I can't thank enough for putting this sensation through beautiful yet complex words. This is to say that you are not alone and i hope you'll find the path that makes you comfortable enough to not feel this loneliness and outsider. I myself express my feelings through art. That's why I love it, it means so many things and yet no words come out.
@@Mary-wc3kt I'm happy to find understanding with you! And to create a connection through words. Thank you for your heartwarming and honest words, I also wish the best for your journey and time 💗
@L I feel quite the same way as you. I was "different" but I don't see it. Sometimes I feel like I'm no one, like I didn't exist at all. Words can't be expressed and btw I have nothing to say, just insults in my head.
"You can't be someone"
"They don't deserve to be annoyed by your present"
"You lie to yourself"
"No one will ever know you, you neither."
I see others, how all of them are happy, unique and they are smiling, laughing, how they grow without me.
I'm stuck, just black, or white, around me. Everyone said to me that it's normal at my age.
"You are a teenager. We all felt this way at 17. You don't have nothing to be sad for."
I know. I know that they are right.
I don't want to be annoying anymore.
I'm starting to think that I deserve the worst. I want to disappear, but I deserve to suffer in silence.
I'm often an extrovert, other times an introvert. No one can't tell which one is right.
I was social, I'm social for others but if I'm not real they can't be my friends, they can't know me.
Art saved me before.
Different arts made the past me.
There isn't a "me" anymore.
I'm sorry, I'm like a drama queen with these sentences.
And I'm sorry for my bad grammar, English isn't my first language.
thanks for reading this, if you did, you are a good person.
and @L thanks for your comment, you are a good person too
I am 18 years old, I come from Germany and I am struggling with depression but this playlist of songs has healed me
Just wanna tell you that you did amazing today
Hi kind stranger, I just wanna remind you that you're doing amazingly well! Take care.
I think i fucked up once again, but i hope you are doing well and have many more great days...
Thank you. It feels personal and I needed it. ❤ God bless you too.
How is it going
@@B.CREAT1
Thank you stranger ❤
Time stamps ;)
0:00 - Cornfield Chase
2:21 - Solas
6:50 - Snowfall
9:21 - Great Fairy’s Fountain
11:17 - Deep Thoughts
13:34 - Waiting For You
15:38 - Cold Loneliness
18:54 - Remnants of Genesis
Goat 🐐
thank uuuu
snowfall is my favorite
thank you
Who the artist of deep thoughts
To all the people who got their feelings hurt by the world, its going to be alright, wishing to leave the world is not the answer, just you know, you're stronger than what you look and smarter than what you think . Don't give up just now. The world still needs a beautiful human like you around .
I do not belong here, never was never will.
Alrite mate thanks you saved me.
I was literally about to jump after a quick scroll...
@@josephcaniones4629you’re not here for vain..keep yourself up and find your purpose.. you may one day be the reason of saving someone.. If you can’t find a place or someone to belong to, belong to yourself, live for yourself and struggle for the life you want to live ❤
@@rahmakhalid52 that is why I chose to be in solace and away from the human species rather be with my canines and felines and die peacefully in solitude.
Why? Why kept fighting? Why not just let it go? What's the difference? The difference is if you kept fighting, you suffer more and there may or not a light or a joy after it. If you just let it go... Give up... Than at least its over... Its done.... No more fighting... No more struggling... Some life just not worth it to fight for....
It feels like life is mocking the shit out of me. Shouting that I don't deserve anything and pulling me back everytime I even start to dream of getting back to track! It's flowing fast but still feels slow. It's like he's telling you're stuck here with me and I'll make you suffer until your last moment....
....can you please be my friend?
@@CarolinPodehl Yeah I'll be happy to be friends with you
@@e-laneditz1331 aaaaah how cool !!!! would you like to get more into contact? 😳 what about discord?
Hey if your reading this, just remember that this pain is temporary and will not last forever, and while your going through it your not alone we are all in this together doing the best we can, I'm proud of you for still being here fighting everyday, cus it's really not easy but you still strong enough to not give up, know that I care about you and I'm glad your here, your feelings are valid and I believe you'll get to a better place with time. I hope this helps, you don't have to accept my comment or like it but I just did it for the people who needs it. Remember to drink water get some rest and check on your loved ones❤️.
I really needed this thanks alot🥹
Thanks alot
@@arpitverma6657 np dear🫂❤️
Thank you for this i cried every night in darkness just to let my pain go away
@@alreadybrok3n heyy np dear❤️ and I'm so sorry to hear hun, sometimes it's good to cry to get our emotions out, know that you are not alone in what your going through🫂
I've been dealing with difficult emotions for a while, and it's been painful. I found this playlist today and it's really helping to make me feel better, helping me process things a bit better. The artwork is beautiful too, I want to try to find the creator of it as well. Thank you for this beautiful playlist
I'm sorry for everything I hope you one day you will be happy
The Artists Name is Elena Zaikina
Thanks
So how are you?
Let's us all be stronger than the situations we face without negative emotions ❤
You were born an original
Don’t die a copy
There will never be another you
When you leave
---------
when you leave don’t say goodbye, don’t look back, don’t cry.
Leave me believing I’ll see you again.
I won’t know that I lost you until your memory starts to slip,
Slip behind the business of life.
Soon you’ll be just another face in the crowd,
A face that reminds me of a memory,
A memory that I’ll fight to get back,
Only then will I realize that I had lost you, only then will I start to cry.
the world has become so cruel, so indifferent towards everything. they value opinions but only of their own, constantly at war for dominance, a race for money and money alone.
Living in this cold warzone of a world, I wondered where are those people who are kind....who still care. But now that I have stumbled upon this video and many more, I believe I have found u lot, scared, injured, in hiding behind calm Spotify playlists or gentle wordless music. The warzone has destroyed us all, it's not where we belong.
this is beautiful. it inspired me to write a poem. thank you and God bless you❤ I will save this playlist forever
You know its illegal by the rules of the internet to just say you did something, and then not sharing it with every random stranger around the globe, right?
if u feel comfortable can u share it
Bautyfull
@@hadenougthatsit8861 huh?
@@arainakc My self
This feels like i can be vulnerable here and open my heart out. Ive been seeing deaths very closely since i was a kid, lost my paternal grandma when i was around 10, i was soo close to her, then almost a month later i lost my uncle too. I was merely a child i had no idea about life and death and what happens after it. All i could see was my grandma not moving, not giving me kisses and she was just gone, I could touch her cold pale body. Even today I remember very clearly how awful that feeling was.
After a few years, i was around 16, clearly remember the moment how dad told me n my elder brother, our another uncle was hospitalised and he said this doesn’t feel good. And unfortunately we lost him too, though we were not close but he loved me and I remember us all playing as a kid. I could see my father devastated, yet another one of his family members lost, never saw him so fragile and shattered. But we became his strength.
2015, my dad had to undergo cardiac surgery, it was my elder brother who gave us all the confidence to go through it all. All went well thankfully :)
In 2017, I was 20, I were in dental school, stayed at dorm, Feb 26, i got a call from my cousin early in the morning, told me my brother had met with an accident last night, hospitalised since then, i rushed somehow to go to his place, felt so sick suddenly had to puke before catching the bus, i used to believe in God back then, prayed throughout the whole journey, reached hospital after about an hour, around 9AM, i saw mum dad, and relatives, neighbors everyone at the hospital gate, trying to leave or something. I had no idea what was happening, i asked my cousin to tell me which way is he being treated, she told me he’s no more? I didn’t believe her, I asked everyone around, they all told me he’s in morgue, i was just lost, sat in disbelief about what exactly has happened, i immediately said i wanna see dad, he was sitting in a car, helpless, hugged him. the exact conversation, the exact situation, time, moments still haunt me at nights. Comes in front of my eyes out of nowhere and i try to distract myself. My support system, my brother, was gone. I was all alone now, to face this shitty life.
It was miserable to see mumdad losing their son. Horrible thing for a parent to see.
I resumed my graduation, got busy, and completed in 2021 October. Its been almost two years now since I completed it, i do nothing, im back at home to mom dad, and everyday i try to change my life and crawl back to bed next moment, staring into nothingness at nights, thinking how different it would have been if i had my brother here. Its been two years of self doubt, self hate and guilt of not being good enough. My friends are doing better than me, and it leaves me with a feeling of failure. It gets deeper and darker every day. I dont know how to get out of this. Everyone judges me, my relatives see me as failure who wont do anything, my friends. My mum has been my biggest supporter and i think im only alive because of her. I gotta live for her and dad.
Sorry if this has been too much. Just wanted to let it out, since I’ve never been able to talk to anyone. I hope few years from now, it gets better.
are you ok?
Listen, whoever you are, wherever you are, please, be good, please.
I shed a tear reading this...
just so you know there's someone out there on this planet cares for you and hopes you're fine.
life gets shit sometimes, and I won't tell you that it'll get better, but you're here! yourself now is the collection of all of your past, embrace those bad moments and go ahead with them, wish you all the best in your life friend
hey!
i hope all is well. seeing death, losing someone, not knowing what one ought to do, so we keep searching for gold in between thoughts...
i hope all is well, and that you can recover and keep living.
best of luck :3
Im so sorry to read this, i cant imagine your pain and losing your brother, i dont know what i would do if i lost one of my siblings, how to move on from that but one thing you already kinda wrote but its to find reasons why you still wanna live or have to live, live for your parents, live for your friends, get friends that become your best friends, friends can do so much for a person, work and think about different goals/dreams you have that you want to do/achieve, what would your brother want you to do? And say? Really Find the drives thats makes you exist and be on this earth and wake up everyday and focus on them, put you energy on them and make your brother and parents proud and yourself.
I wish the best for you and good luck with everything!
bro... I understand how you feel and what you've been through, and what you're going through at the moment. Unfortunately, I also had to face the death of people close to me, it hurts, it hurts a lot, but the best thing you can do for them is to start living a new life, every day, in small steps. they would like that.
Remember, you are not alone, I am with you! life goes on!
P.S. I don't know English well
This is the first time a painting has made me speechless. It could most likely be because of the music accompanied by it as well. As I stare at the image used in this video I literally cannot describe exactly how I feel with that painting. It's horrifying to look at, I feel scared, but at the same time, I feel like he understands me, and I understand him. I also feel pity, maybe even guilty, having to stare at him the entire time. But the more I stare at him, the more I felt guilty at myself. I don't know why such a simple painting has made me feel like this. That is why I say the painting scares me as well. Because This painting I found out of nowhere on a video streaming website scarily matches my inner thoughts well, when nothing else ever has before.
wow, you describe my mind line now. thank you. Feel the same
Esactamente
Whats the name of the painting who is it by?
@@_Wubalem_ fenton by elena zaikina
same here, no painting has ever made me feel the way this one has
It's amazing how you can tell if the music is a sad kind or happy, peaceful or even rage.
It's almost like music has its own feelings
In such a messed up world, I can't believe there is a place where I can confide my heart and someone will listen and comfort me. There are people who quietly share the candle of life that is lit within them with those who have fallen into darkness. Thank you for your quiet and gentle warmth. I hope you all find peace of mind.

I hope you find peace of mind as well. This comment section makes me feel like I finally found a place that I belong. It's sad to think about but it feels like we're the part of humanity that has been forgotten and neglected. I've found my kind here and it's the most calming I've felt in a while. I believe one day it'll click and suddenly we're more joyful and optimistic. I hope one day you'll find the person that will make you feel like you belong here because you do.
i just KNEW this would be a perfect playlist just by seeing its cover and name. thank you for this. this is life saving and i am serious.
I love how the selection of songs tells a story. It begins with something hopeful, then becomes heartbroken and cold, then empty and not at all musical.
I close my eyes.
I close my eyes as i float. I feel a degree of freedom.
My legs and arms are entirely free, untouching with anything.
My breath is steady. In, then out.
I feel the warm air backtrack onto me after hitting the glass.
I keep my eyes closed.
Peace.
That is all I feel in this moment. My mind going through everything that had happened.
Glossing over the good and lingering over the bad.
Though i shake the thoughts away I know there is no escaping them for they are me.
My body feels empty as i float.
My mind starting to empty too.
I open my eyes but keep them closed.
I imagine what i will do after I open my eyes, somewhat hoping it would help,
once i detach from this freedom.
Let go of this peace.
It has been so long since its just been me yet I do not find great comfort in my solitude.
I finally open my eyes.
Marbles of white, brown and black that i had covered with a blanket of my skin.
I gaze upon the glass, slightly reflecting my face.
I look beyond it. i see the scorched world I called home.
Red, orange and yellow had never filled my heart with such great sorrow.
I know i remain, I know my punishment is to outlive to watch everyone else perish.
I never hoped this would be the way things ended. Once in a lifetime I would think of where next I will float.
But now, I'd rather stay and take it all in. My punishment of silence.
Yet whenever i wish to escape;
I close my eyes.
Gosh, that's beautiful
@@grenouille5264 i have not written full stories yet besides this and this video inspired me to write this. im glad you liked it!
¡THAT WAS SO BEAUTIFUL! I thought you were quoting a book! you have a HUGE talent for writing hun ! ♡
@@mvp9 thank you so much! its just a side hobby of mine though i really enjoy it, im glad you did too!
Listening to this while watching snow fall on the mountains. Made me think “These are the moments we live for.”
Dear 11 yr old me,
Your are disappointed
I don’t know where ill end up
But as long as I keep my eyes shut
My wrists will remain uncut
And I will continue to have luck
Not for long until I remember the past
Drowning in my thoughts that forever last
Until I break free
From an eternity
Of pain and shame that lead me down a road that I cannot tame
Without the medicine
Without this pain I have learned that there will be no gain
Hard work makes more enemies than friends
So I continue to look through the lens
Viewing my future and walking down the lane
Alone
With no-one left to blame
But my own brain
And the people who made me insane
And so I forgive the little girl
Who didn’t know how to live
In a house made up of flames
With a hundred of different names
Left her looking in mirrors to only see tears
In her hand she held the shears
Waiting for the right moment to finally fly
But she only now realized the only way to do it is to die
And so she cried.
One day your soul will be free and that is inevitable. Then you should try to listen to your eleven-year-old self and repair its broken parts and dreams. You know you're hurt, but being able to break your soul to be free... is that a favor you can do for her?
@@atascodetiempo6013 "break your soul"
Oh don't you know every scar, and every pain is part of you. SO don't you break a piece. Keep intact.
I don't know where to start,
I've got a broken heart
and I would like to help
but I'm lost as well
Where will I end?
I'll never know until then
And if I'm never free
I'll ask to thee
Would that really matter?
with all this clutter
I don't know where I'm going, to begin with
I've had dreams
and out of my hands I've let them slip
These chains aren't stiff
It's that I'm getting weak
With every minute and every night
I'm losing sight of who I am
My soul is sore
and it broke to the core
I only want a cliff or a rope
to make this stop
It's not time to die
It's time to fight
But who am I to tell you to try?
If every time I did
I could only wilt
Hello there.
First of all, that was beautifully written.
Second of all, I hope you’re doing okay. I understand what you feel, and I’m very sorry you feel this way. I want you to know you are not alone in this struggle. Take a look at this comment section : it is full of broken and heartbroken people, but they don’t stop, they’re always trying, and even if they can’t, they still try to uplift others. It may not mean anything to you, but you are not alone, no matter how lonely you may feel. I, myself, feel the same way as you do. You and I are both lost, and trying hard to make it to the surface, I know. I know just as well that we will make it one day. We will make this constant pain and suffering worth it. We will make every day of struggle worth it. Days of sorrow will become days of love. Days of pain will become days of peace. Your mind and body are at war with themselves, and so are mine. But, war, inevitably, leads to peace. Wars don’t last indefinitely, trust me. Keep trying, keep pushing, and your life will become worth it, no matter how deep the well you’ve fallen into seems. Trust me on that. Please, promise me you will continue trying. Life is so much more than what you feel now, and, at the end of the day, life truly is a magical gift.
Finally, look around you. Even in all this chaos that’s in your mind and, possibly, around you, there are still people who love you for who you are, and they always will. Cherish these people, for they are not eternal, but for they are also your path to happiness and peace of mind. I appreciate you, as I’m sure a lot of other people do. Don’t give up. Never stop trying. Please.
I love this comment so much, I hope you’re doing okay.
This reminds me tragically of myself. I've been at the lowest point of my life for almost an eternity now. One day when I wasn't paying attention, due to my tendency to day dream, I took a wrong a step and slipped and spiraled down this hole of undiagnosed depression (god I hate that word. It does no justice to describe the century deep aching in my bones. All it does is provoke pity) , that was two years ago. There are really bad days and really good days, but regardless it just constantly feels like I'm being pushed to the floor and someone is stepping on my chest. It's not enough to stop my heart, but enough to make it uncomfortable. It's enough to make my heartbeat erratic and uneven. I myself know that my heart doesn't beat right and that my head sometimes thinks too much or too little, I know that there's something wrong, I knew before I even slipped. I guess I was trying avoid or at least delay the inevitable, something that was already written in my fate. And you know trying to change destiny isn't really ideal. I tried to squeeze it in between my math and psych lectures, but ultimately, it didn't work out. So I dealt with it. I thought that the faster I let it in, the faster it'll be over. I welcomed it into my home, let it into the crevices of my mind, body and soul. I fed it and fed it and fed it, hoping that one day it would be enough. But you know, feed a wild animal and they always come back, eternal return they call it. The universe has and will continue to revive itself and reoccur an infinite number of times. By the time I had built up my courage to recognize what I had to done, to recognize exactly what I had let into my home, I had already felt like I was floating. I couldn't remember anything from days ago let alone my childhood. I couldn't feel my feet on the ground or the cool winter breeze on my face. I felt unattached to everything, like a separate entity, outside looking in, as if I didn't belong inside humanity. I felt like I didn't belong in this world. Because how come the world still revolved and people still laughed and found hope, when I couldn't even move my feet. It felt like a cruel joke. I was being shown everything I wanted but I couldn't reach it... and that leads me to the life I am living now. The best way I can put it... Imagine yourself playing minecraft. You're going mining but you manage to go far too deep and you hit bedrock. Now you gotta find a way out. You look up and all you see is cobblestone, ores, torches and maybe some water and lava, but no opening to the outside world. You know the surface is up there somewhere, all you gotta do is make your way up, but that takes time and you've already been playing for hours. So you decide to log off and tackle it the next day and the next and the next (we all know how this age old story ends; you stop playing). I guess that's what I did. I played, recognized the consequences, then stopped. But, the game doesn't move if you keep it on pause nor does life. You'll be in the same spot you were two years ago if you don't move. But, that doesn't mean pausing is a bad thing. Personally, I kinda like it here, it's quiet. And I think I'm gonna stay here for a little while before I learn to fight again.
That's a beautiful way to put it ❤
Hugss ☘️☘️
this broke me, it hits exactly where it hurts the most, some days it gets easier, that is a huge relieve, a place to find strength from when you are deep down, that is the only good part you can think about when its bad, and i hope and pray you have as many of those as possible, love to you all out there
This is probably the most sensitive story I've ever read, I hope you almost have new hope and manage to enjoy your life someday and see the good things, you are a beautiful person
Its nice its cold here, but im all by myself. But each dsy it gets colder and even more darker.
I have my girl
We're 9 years into relationship
She's the best blessing I could ever ask for
We r still happy together
It's just that seeing the future
Wat if i were to lose her first,
Idk how would i survive without here presence
These thoughts always haunt me
Yet these present life i enjoy the most and try to make the best use of it
Happy that everyday , every morning im glad to hear her voice over n over again❤
Its hurtful knowing that our best moments, can end in just moments,
Hurtful knowing that someone can just disappear and forget about everything,
Its hurtful knowing how lonely can one feel when those moments just flew away,
Hurtful knowing one can change the way they are because of someone, its crazy how someone can just go away and treat us like we were nothing.
These songs evoke a strong sense of nostalgia I have with my depression.
It is crazy how your mind is.
I love these songs cause they provided me comfort, comfort of a weird sort but I can't bear the emotions they fill me with anymore.
It brings me comfort too after releases tears that are hard to get released any other way, the music and title of the video and songs are kinda soothing
Im surprised on how many times i go back to this playlist . I feel like this is my home for now as i can say . It all started last christmas when everything just went even worst than before , that heavy pressure you feel from your chest and wanting to cry and let it all out , i went to the living room for some alone time at around 12 am and just sat there for god knows how long . drowning in my thoughts and It got me thinking “am i really doing okay?” . i was at a miserable state . eyes swollen , i was shaking and i can barely breathe . I thought i had enough and even contemplating whether i should end it or not . I was just too exhausted . I thought i was doing fine? I thought i was thriving ,like what could go wrong , even if it would , its not gonna stay that way forever right? Wrong . everthing turned out the opposite . Its like i continuously go through the same thing . A cycle full of sorrow as i can say . And so i took my phone and type abt how i’ve been feeling lately on my notes and decided to open youtube and search for some music that maybe could calm myself down a bit . And exactly at that moment the first thing that appeared in my recommendation is this playlist . And honestly im glad that i found this playlist . It accompanied me through all my tough times and the times where i felt worthless and exhausted. Knowing that life can’t always be all sunshine and rainbows . ill hold on a little longer as long as this playlist is still here , i know im going to be just fine . Im currently having a hard time right now . And listening to this on repeat makes me feel more at ease . Just wanna say that If i ever lose my battle , i just hope that someone will play this playlist at my funeral
update : i came back again after a year of not hearing this masterpiece. im doing absolutely fine now and all i want to say to anyone who’s reading this is , it’s okay . all those hardships all those problems you’re facing right now shall pass . hang in there and be strong . you’re gonna be just fine . trust me
you are a strong person. we will all play this battle someday. I respect you
There is no need to do something that you will regret, just see how long can u keep it and how far can u reach, remember u are strong but not in weak situations... :) be safe
I hope you’re feeling better. I understand your sorrow. Same here. Keep strong. Things always work out in the end. And if they don't, it means it's not the end yet.
Life is sunshine and rainbias my friend. If you look at a cat or an animal that you like. Lets imagine that one being is sitting alone in some kind of darkness... of course one would think, well... Alone AND Darkness... Those are bad for the moral. I sincerely hope that you, will find the way.
I hope you are doing well now because you are a great person and your feelings are very normal for you to feel and you will definitely be able to get rid of them
I have never written anything online like this before.
I have been battling with Bipolar disorder for five years now. Recently got diagnosed with anxiety as well. Even though i am better everyday now, thanks to therapy, medication and from the love of friends and family, i sometimes keep getting this numb feeling of emptyness and the feeling of not belonging anywhere. I feel like with my mental illness i made my real self isolated. I feel anxious with every friendship i make and i feel like i'm a huge weight to everyone because i tend to cry too much . These kinds of music helped me express my feelings alone in my room everynight for years, which felt as if someone was there to listen to me when i felt that i had no one.
I hope that everyone can find a place of peace and even though it's still hard for me to accept, crying and expressing yourself is okay and it's also part of who you are.
I just wanted to say that I understand. I’m also bipolar and it’s really hard. I hope that you never get lost in the emotions and you find your way back every time. I can promise you I’ll do my best to do the same. You’re not alone, remember that.
I understand that feeling of being a pain the ass with your friends and that no matter what we do it's never enough, but in time it will get better if you believe in yourself and to remember your not alone there's a bunch of people who understands your pain
I used to be one of those people who thought there was a bright side to everything, or the grass was always greener ahead, or that everyone belonged somewhere. But now, I wonder how everyone can belong when no one even knows the true meaning of belonging. Think about all the times you thought you belonged. If there are any, did you really belong? Or was it just what you though was best for you. Trust me when I say that there is a difference between the two. It is rare that we truly belong. Sometimes I feel it’s even harder to belong to yourself.
I agree completely. It’s difficult to find belonging within ourselves. Which we would need to feel if we’d belong with others. If you’re unable to accept yourself how’d you be able to allow yourself to be accepted by others. Almost like you can’t have one without having the other. It’s a huge mental battle and to truly live your desired path be prepared for war.
It might be unseen but the kindness and the pure souls will meet one day, it might take a while but everything will come to an end. A sweet, gentle one we just have to be patient. I know that most of us feels like it's too much to handle but trust me we're doing great.
I wanted to thank and hug everyone that feels low cause really we all deserve care, love, kindness, happiness.
I just wanted to share these words thinking that it might help and I really apologize if my expressions aren't well expressed.
I wish you all a wonderful day/night, keep cherishing the memories.
I wish I had someone to share this piece with amazing work
Yes me too 😔🇬🇧
Me three
You are not destined to die in a sin,
The mercy and The forgiveness is wating for you.
DONT GIVE UP!!!
Be a man and make the hardest decision you’ve ever made
Listening to this playlist and reading these comments feels surreal. I relate to the feelings told in the music and by the people in the comment section so much, but now on the other side. I really understand what you all are going through, it took me years to get out. The obsessive thinking about how terrible of a person you are and how you deserve to die. The self-harm, the hiding in your room for weeks, the not showering for days, I know it all.
I couldn't stop hurting myself. It was like an itch I had to scratch, a decade-long itch.
Getting out is different for everyone, so I can't give a perfect solution, but I can tell you what I did.
First, it's very slow. Excruciatingly slow. It took me a year and a half of dedicated work on myself to get here, and even then I still needed to get on medication for a time. My primary advice is to do what everyone else says: take advantage of school/university counselors if you can and if it's safe for you to do so. A good second choice is to read as much as you can about your problem and commit to making small changes in your lifestyle. If you don't have the energy to cook, buy some ramen and some kale, spinach, or chard and mix that in. If you are too scared to go outside, do some light stretches and maybe walk around a bit inside your room. Try journaling and try writing one good thing about yourself that you did that day when you go to bed and read it the next morning. Maybe you showered. Maybe you ate something. Maybe you read this comment. Practice being able to have a negative thought and let it pass. Don't fight them, don't humor them, acknowledge the thought and let it pass. It doesn't have to have any power over you, it can just be a thought, who says thoughts must always be true?
Read some philosophy. Intimately understand that all of us deserve love, just for being human. For example, does the lion deserve to kill to eat when it needs to survive? Does a baby deserve affection and care when without it it will die? You deserve love and to be loved by yourself because to need it. There is no other requirement.
Mental illness makes you feel so defeated that oftentimes your first thought is that these types of fixes would never work. You're right. These types of changes won't change your life in a day, a week, a month, or maybe even a year. But it will in a year and a half, two years, or three. And that MATTERS. SO. MUCH. Life will never be perfect, but it can be better. It can get better if you want it.
And you do want it. I know you do. We all do. The only thing that is stopping you is fear. Change is unfamiliar and scary, and what if you do these things and it does nothing? What if you wake up one day after learning to love and understand yourself and you realize that you actually really didn't deserve it? That you were right all along?
I can tell you with 100% certainty that all these fears are unbased. You deserve love and acceptance and you always have and you always will. No one can take that away from you, not even yourself. Change is scary until you realize it's not. As long as you keep going forwards, it will be okay, you will be okay, and one day you will realize that. Understand that some days will still be really hard. Sometimes, despite your efforts, you will go back to the familiarity of your old ways. You will hate yourself, you will not shower, you will hide away in your room for weeks, and it will feel so good. You finally scratched the itch. Then you will wake up the next morning, the next week, or the next month, and feel so disappointed in yourself. Try not to let that disappointment hurt you more. Sure, you scratched the itch and worsened the wound, but that doesn't mean you have stopped healing or your progress. Setbacks are unavoidable in change, they will happen, so don't feel so bad about them. Acknowledge that it happened and move on. Who said having setbacks has to mean failure? That they have to mean you should give up? Don't ever give up on yourself babe. You don't deserve that.
Sometimes you won't be able to change by yourself, I wasn't able to. Sometimes you will need medication. I got to a point where I knew the fixes to my problems. I knew that, as a person, I deserved love, that I was worthy of living, and that there were good things about me. But I still could never FEEL those thoughts. It was painful to think them even after all my progress and I couldn't control my own negative thinking. It was obsessive and compulsive. Every time I would feel mildly bad, maybe I and a headache, maybe my skin was bad, maybe I was just tired, my mind would immediately go back to those bad thoughts. I had trained my brain to react to any bad feeling with self-hatred. At least then I had control, right? The ironic thing is that I had absolutely no control. Over my thoughts, my feelings, and my health. I was spiraling and I knew it, but I was terrified that change would be the same but also unfamiliar. You know what they say about the devil you already know? Going on medication allowed me to have a sort of "brain reset" of sorts. I am able to have control over my own thoughts for the first time in years and I used that newfound control to solidify my change, which would not have been possible without the mental work I had done beforehand. In most cases, medication should be used as a tool, not a solution.
I am now off medication and I feel amazing. It is an incredible feeling to be able to love and support yourself; to not see yourself as an enemy and react with fear, but to see yourself as your own protector and feel loved.
I'll leave you with one last thing: you aren't special. You are not so uniquely horrible in that you are one of the few who actually deserve to die; there have been others before you who have thought the exact same things about themselves as you do, and they were not any more right in their thinking. And the reason why this is so painful to hear is that your mental illness only survives off this thought being true: that you are uniquely horrible, undeserving, or alone. Don't always listen to what your mind tells you. The brain craves security and safety over everything else, even at the expense of positive change. In that sense, all your mental illness cares about is survival, homeostasis. It's not comforting, it's not safe, it doesn't love you and you don't love it. It's not a part of who you are, but simply a habit of thinking that has gone on far too long.
So don't be afraid to change, you will be better for it. I believe, without a doubt, that you can do this, that you can change.
Beautiful sentiments in your comment, wow
Thank you for this
Thanks for sharing.
The painting is called "fenton", by elena zaikina
here’s a poem i wrote inspired by this playlist:
parasite
i feel too deeply
love too deeply
to where it kills me
i’m a parasite eating away at my own brain
picking apart details from invertebrates
i see people’s feeling of who they are
but it feels like i can’t be seen even from afar
i’m too much of what no one wants
i don’t belong here, my existence haunts
my sadness consumes all of me each day
it’s too tiring to go on in such a depressing way
i love people too deeply for nothing in return
but i can’t help but love with such an aching burn
if i could change myself i would take it in a snap
reality is as it is, i am as me, and i can’t turn back
so i’ll make mistakes and give everything up
for someone who wouldn’t care to fill my cup
i feel as though the world breaks because of me
but i’ll continue on this despairing, suffering journey.
That's really deep, i feel that
wow
i loved it, it's so deep. i hope that you won't stop writing poems like this one. you are very talented♥
You are not alone in this. My dad died a few weeks ago.It's okay, never stop. Lemme tell you something, I made this up a long time a ago. So, like is like a mountain, Each camp is a milestone, like Graduarating. Sometimes you slip, and want to give up.But don't, you have way too much energy to stop. Go on and on over the mountain, over the sky, over space.
From your best therapist/friend that you will probably never see again. but until then, peace out ya'll
Rip_life~
@@Rip_AshuraTheGreat I'm very sorry to hear about your dad, I hope you and your loved ones can find some serenity soon, may he rest in peace.
I have forgotten who I really am and this music feels like I could be able to finish my very own chapter of loneliness after having lost what was dear to me and becoming the thing I so very much hate. Thank you for posting this playlist as it has given me comfort but also sadness in my times of struggle
I've been living in Europe for 4 years as a foreign student, and this music, the art, and the title resonate with me.
I come from a north African country so the cultural and social differences are pretty wide, and I'm having trouble integrating myself.
"I don't belong here" is a feeling I definitely had many times. However, the music seems to perfectly describe how I felt throughout these years.
Life is the warm colors of long days in the summer,
walks in the countryside along the corn fields,
a sun-kissed lover under the oak tree,
a caressing breeze,
people with glittering eyes and peaceful faces,
a gentle hug,
a loveless winter,
long-lasting grey nights,
an empty room,
clouded thoughts,
desperation for light lightning and snow,
people hiding in their coats,
a cold shrug.
Edit: Sorry for any English mistakes
Youre english is amazing I hope you make it far in life
You are Cool and Right man. Cheers from Sweden.
Wow that was good. Greetings from the netherlands
oh my god you are a gorgeous human being, you can do it, coming from such a different place is challenging but I take you as being someone who can easily face it. i believe in you, your English was impeccable, you must write a book honestly!!!
@@Mars-eg9bg thanks that means a lot ❤
I always think about the fact that I could've been a totally different person if I was somehow somewhere else, surrounded by different people.
I'm glad you are who, where and when you are. 👍
@zakshei same!
And could have whole different story whole different feelings that I haven't felt yet
i want to get back to that night
when everything used to fade
and it feels like drowning in endless blue
Music like this reminds me of how much better art is than real life. It has always been a torture when a beautiful cathartic movie ends and yet I don’t.
Once the lights go up I still exist in this artless repetitive reality.
snowfall is becoming a classic in compilations like this and this is so well deserved. great collection of songs!
*The haunting melodies of sad, sentimental music have a way of piercing through the heart, weaving a tapestry of emotions that resonate with the complexities of the human experience*
i love songs that gives that "universal/endless" feeling. its like songs that you listen to as you venture through the endless space of planets, galaxies and stars. or simply, a song that you would listen to when you are alone while its raining outside. a great playlist 👍
It's already 3:37, and I can't keep my eyes closed. When I do, my inner self bombards me with questions: "Why are you like this? Why are you always hurt? Why do you overthink? Why can't you let them go? Why do you always choose sadness?" I can't find the answers. What am I supposed to do?
Find who you are?
this is so lovely and calm yet at the same time those tragic undertones make my heart ache. thank you for the playlist, it is beautiful.
음악의 힘은 말로 표현이 불가능하다
This is what I was going to say 🥲💔
i couldn't...i just sat here and cried like a baby. This meant so much to me...i see hope but i saw everything that i went through. Thank you for this beautiful piece
This is..... This is a masterpiece I mean the author put all of his emotions in this like I can feel it.....
Eh perdido la cuenta de todas la veces q eh muerto en éste tiempo, vuelvo y me sumergo al dolor constante de mis recuerdos,
Con cada día vivo,y con cada noche muero.
at some point I just started walking on the edge between reality and fantasy; letting myself dwell upon the life I wish I could live, to be an artist that carries her craft ...but I'm constrained by normality and whatever responsibilities that are embedded in it. At this point, whatever is on the other side became a childish desire-- as i enter adulthood
In some places, you need to mature in order to protect yourself and build your life. But if you get too carried away, life will take from you not only your childhood but also your life. You can choose not to let go of any part of you. A piece of both. There is a vicious circle in front of us that will limit the imagination. Still, we shouldn't be defeated by him, right? I would love to see your art one day.
I miss the old me, the cheerful and free me. I feel really guilty for getting myself stuck in this situation.
This kinda music always makes me feel alive, I cry every time listening to it even now as I'm writing this. It just reminds me of all my childhood trauma, the time my dad beat me to a pulp for not following his cult rules, the time my mum tried to choke me saying she'd kill me and how she'd send me away to a man that'd put me in my place by rape.
Even now I still feel like I'll never be good enough looking around at all the passionate people I just can't help but feel like life isn't worth living. I have plans to seek help and recover from my trauma, but if it doesn't help then honestly Ik Im hopeless since I can't get a job nor build healthy relationships Id prob just quit.
I feel so alone yet embarrassed to share my thoughts to people ik personally. I just turned 18 but i feel like i've been here long enough yk?
life will get better I feel your sarrow. I had a rough childhood but not as rough as yours, I am 14 turning 15 I know this probly not helpfull but I dont know what i would do in your situation I know I wouldent seek help Its in the past and theres nothing you can do, I dont know if I even want to do anything about it. I do know that i hope your life gets better
idk if it helps but i send all my love. I feel you sm hope it gets better
Everything in time, friend. Be patient with yourself. Do what you can, the best you can, in that day, in that moment. I believe in you. It'll get better, and you'll love the world again.
You know, I think your soul chose this time for life in your present body, idk do you believe in past lives and rebirth, but I think people who living hard life, trying just getting better, (having problems with parents, abuse, death, bad health, depression etc) - their souls are wise. And soul want our people overcome the darkness, all negative and finally be free. Cuz souls are free. They understand everything, our pain, our honesty with ourselves, and they want our human were happy, love and free. And love myself.
And thoughts that you dont deserve to live or being loved is a big ILLUSION. Its not true. Everyone person, every soul deserve. You are more than you think, you are big soul, which comes from a large light god. Confidence will come, believe in yourself, everything will be ok.
Say to yourself and to the world that you dont want living in pain and suffering, it should be over.
I also want to choose love, light, freedom and happiness. And i believe in you. Thank you for reading this 🤗☀️❤️🌺🏞️
My love, just please run out of all this, get a job anyhow( of course safe). Move to a different place, heal your inner child no matter what, start a new life, it might be hard, but when you do something for your betterment it always worth it.
You never ever deserve such situations as a child, as teen, as young human or as adult.
So never ever tolerate this.
Speak yourself love
I don't usually listen to music on RUclips, but I stumbled upon this while making pancakes.
At some point, I just froze, so peaceful
It became so calm and mentally and physically
Haha, I'm writing with a translator, so sorry for any mistakes :>
Your grammar is perfect
I like Your taste of music and the paintings that you choose.
Wonderful playlists.
I am 27 and I am under a lot of pressure these days. I work as a chef in an Italian restaurant, and I am pretty good at what I do. However, I am clinically depressed, I no longer can handle the pressure, and I no longer feel that I belong to a stressful work enviroment in a politically endangered country.
Inhaling smoke, a deadly game
A habit formed, a life in shame
Weed and tobacco, two vices same
Their grasp tight, a torturous chain
The sweet aroma, a tempting lure
A moment's pleasure, a lifetime's cure
But the addiction, a vicious cure
A downward spiral, hard to endure
The high so fleeting, the lows so near
The craving constant, the end unclear
The body weakened, the mind unclear
The soul trapped, a life in fear
The smoke clouds the vision, the heart so cold
The need for escape, the story untold
The grip so tight, the future foretold
A life consumed, a heart so old
The struggle immense, the burden great
The desire to quit, the will so late
The pain so real, the cost so high
The tears unending, the soul's last cry
Oh weed and tobacco, twin devils in disguise
Their grip so strong, a life's demise
A sad tale of addiction, a heart's demise
A life forever lost, a soul's last sigh.
junkie
I feel this right now
I love these videos so much, it is really giving the vibe, that I expect when I read the title and brings ups the right emotions
The story of the man in the picture:
He loved her deeply, so much so that her absence left him lost and wandering. Her memory haunted him in every aspect of his life; in the home they shared, in the job they worked together, and in his own mind. Her presence seemed to linger in every corner, every crevice, every space he occupied.
But no matter how hard he tried to forget, every voice in his head called out to him, beckoning him to remember her.
Standing under the night sky, he gazed up at the brightest star, its brilliance reminding him of her own light. He whispered her name, his voice filled with regret and sorrow.
"I'm sorry, Delilah," he spoke softly, the words feeling inadequate. "I never should have let you walk out that door."
His heart ached with the realization that it was his mistake, his biggest regret. If he hadn't let her leave that day, she might still be alive, and he could bask in the warmth of her lovely smile once more.
He stood there, looking up at the star, hoping she could hear his apology and feel the depth of his love, even though it was too late to make things right.
No it's actually from the time that I accidentally stepped on my dog's toes
@@TheJubiter Hahahaha I’m cackling 😂😂
can u pls give me the source ? or the artist name ?
@@aicha9602 I don’t know who painted the painting. I made up this small writing piece though.
@@aicha9602 The Episode Demimonde from Penny Dreadful
Been feeling like i don’t belong in this world my whole life….
When I think of the future it’s just so hopeless and dark.
I was fine yesterday and now I’m not.
Sometimes when i hear sounds like this it feels like my feet never touch the ground and it would be so good to just float forever. Never to be seen. My whole life I’ve been floating most of the time feeling like I shouldn’t have been here. Sometimes I would look in the distance imagining or trying to picture what place should I go. Where do I belong? There is this feeling of longing in me to go somewhere. Somewhere that has never been inhabited. This mantra in my head too keeps repeating ‘I need to go’ over and over again. There are times that I would almost smell and taste that somewhere. Or maybe this is just me wanting to escape this suffering so my mind would feed me anything I can hold on to? I don’t know. It’s just been difficult to live.
I’m not sure if anyone also feels the same.
a place called home
will never be known,
for aslong as i remember
i have been alone.
im meant to be afraid
but i wont call it faith.
im meant to be alone
but i want to call someone my home.
my heart trying to find its place
is like trying to find a book in the library,
you dont know if its gonna be a good book
or a bad one. its the same with humans.
growing up i knew i was gonna be a lonely person,
a person with love to give but not to get.
a person so kind and gentle
will never be chosen.
thats what i had to learn the hard way in this world.
now.. i am afraid. and i will call it my faith.
Ever since I was young I always thought to myself “I don’t belong here.” I always feel like no one gets my feelings or how I feel. Life is moving so fast I can’t even comprehend it. But I don’t want all my memories and precious moments to slip away from me so easily. I’m putting so much pressure on myself to remember it all but I know I remember. I make sure to include people because I’m never included in things.
I know what you feel. I know what it's like to not understand you. I know what it's like to think that there's no reason for you to be here, but don't think that, don't run away from the pain, hug it and wait for it to go, without wanting to push it away. I understand you. Merry Christmas.
@@Arnl_godjujubas merry Christmas to you too
Thanks for including others... That means a lot to people. I'm sure of it. ❤
For all of us who are broken lets be glad that its not our neighbor, because they can't survive this war that is inside us
Thank you all so much for these comments. It is so moving to see the many ways this song has left an impression on your lives. Thank you all for listening.
All the trains around me is travelling..it seems like mine is broken long time ago or maybe I don’t exist no more… 7:18
I'm 24..Recently graduated as a doctor.. I was a very jolly person with so many dreams.
I dreamt of being graduated and then enjoying being self dependent, getting engaged with love of my life..
Since i jave graduated everything is going on a downfall.. no job no money.. No friends not being able to do things that i loved.. Only thing holding me is 3 cigaretted daily..
I can't find a way out. I've fears, traumas, things I did in my past that I remember with shame, a spent soul, pain that I don't wanna remember. I'm so scared.. From loud noises, fights, tiny arguments... Everything makes me feel vulnerable, the feeling that the same things will happen again. It's like it's breaking me that the time I've spent since my childhood is passing by and I don't remember it, and it breaks my heart not to belong to where I am in time. Breathing doesn't seem like a solution anymore, I can't fit in seconds.. While I've my own dreams, I'm placed in other people's lives as an additional character, I'm asked to live in their dreams without my control and without even being given the right to speak.. and this is a life.. this is exactly the kinda life.
I hope, even if I don't write what I feel other than what I wrote, you'll be okay, you should be okay.. time passes. Life's so short that we don't even understand it, it's like we're afraid of breaking down and crying. But we'll be fine.. It'll be hard to see the way out, maybe we'll need a hand from above to pull us along.. Life is gorgeous but we only know it according to our feelings.
You deserve the best of everything. Even if you feel bad, don't blame yourself. We're human, sometimes we've to feel bad... take care of yourself cuz' no one else will do this for you.. 🤍
Everyone is looking for that mysterious thing inside of him, everyone is ignorant of what it is, and even the music makes us search for it more, everyone is lost,We all look at each other through the comments and talk about that unknown thing, maybe someone will explain it, but I think it will remain unknown and we will remain lost between those alleys .
I just sat here admiring that art, no joke.
I havent been able sleep properly for nearly two years. which is why i am sitting here watching this at 2 am. I can’t let go of my phone or anything that will let my thoughts run wild. So i exhaust myself until i fall asleep at 6-7 am to not give my head a chance. I am always tired, at uni, at home. I try to stay awake the rest of the day so that i get tired earlier and don’t stay up. But in the end i will have slept for a total of 6 hours in 4 days and it truly feels like a nightmare
I always come back to this track when I don't feel well.
Same
are you ok?
@@maryleave you ok?
when youre like the clouds, always in the background of someones happy memories. never the choice of someone else. youre always left as the last to be chosen. you feel like youre a ghost faded into the background, people walk over you passing you. sometimes they dont even notice when you have been there for more than ten minutes, no one feels your presence, and alike no one feels your absence either. when you keep repeating ''i want to go home'' but there is no actual place or person to bring that comfort. sometimes i just say ''im born this'' way, defeated. but i know deep down inside i wasnt always like this
This music was the only thing I had during the darkest moments of my life, I will forever cherish it with all my heart❤
I assure you,this is the best playlist of my life.
I just don't feel like I belong here. All the anger and rage I have turns to pain and sorrow. The truth of the matter is, I'm not afraid of dying anymore. It's peaceful in some way. An escape, an escape from this wretched world, from this life. there are beautiful things about it and ugly. So why do I only see the ugly. The pain. The pains that latches itself on to me like a leech and pulls me under. I'm so tired. So...so...tired. Tired of fighting for a life I didn't even ask for.
This saved me from overthinking and to focus on what really matters. Thank you so much for the upload.
Looking at the present, everyone is emotionless No one cares about people who are cold and have no food for a cold winter day
If you sit and wonder about your existence long enough, it doesn’t feel like you are truly alive, right? In the end, we are all just a lump of flesh and bones with a conscience. How do we know that we are the only intelligent forms of life in the universe? What IS the universe? How did we truly get here if no one was around to see it all happen? To think of the endless galaxies upon galaxies in this universe feels so suffocating yet beautiful at the same time. I don’t know whether I should be grateful for my existence or guilty for taking up more room on this dying planet we call Earth. How do I find a way to stop all of these terrifyingly radiant perceptions of our world? Please, someone must feel the same way I do, right. Right?
You spoke facts
Yeah absolutely... its incredible to think of the universe as a whole and us compared to it.
"When I consider your heavens, the work of your fingers, the moon and the stars, which you have set in place, what is mankind that you are mindful of them, human beings that you care for them?"
Psalms 8:3-4
I do but … lucky for me, God found me in my despair and rescued me . I have hope and my existence have eternal meaning.
Nothing stays forever, not even your problems. So keep living and don't give up.
To be honest, what is life. We just living for future or for somebody else due to family problems. I can't live like this anymore. I don't know how long i can live like this!