As a disabled individual who occasionally has to use a wheelchair and permanently using walking sticks to get around, I love the take the stairs notices you get in office buildings or being told to "hurry up" to get to the meeting, then watch their faces when I just "look" at them and say "Oh yes I forgot what it was like to be able to walk normally, sorry about that! The "funniest" one was a couple of years ago, went for a job interview for a SQL Database job at a place in the middle of nowhere which was run by what I can only describe as neck beard hipsters who are all "up with it" for getting their staff fit and active. So there is me, sitting there with my walking stick across my lap as they are happily telling me they have all desks converted to 100% standing so no one has to sit at a desk, encourage "lunch time jogging" to the point they give you a fit bit if you join and will monitor it so they give prizes monthly for the most steps and what not. Oh and they didn't even have any wheelchair access either. Bearing in mind, the three who interviewed me, watched me hobble into the meeting room then came out with all the pro fitness and wellness crap and couldn't quite understand why I was giving them the "Read the room look".
@@cuttwice3905 I feel your pain. Literally. Lol. Sorry, laughing is the only way I can deal with it (no offence). Had 6 surgeries on knee, and radio frequency ablation on facet joints (6 on one side, 5 on the other, that was NOT FUN) to try and get some semblance of normalcy but nerve damage now too severe.
@@brainblaze6526 Generally I have a sense of humour about it and don't get offended, in fact I like winding up the "normies" to see them squirm thinking I have been "offended" but in that case I was like Dudes...seriously?? It may have even been worth ending up on a Brain Blaze episode with Danny writing "Essex man shoves walking stick up hipsters ass" lol
I hope Simon's funeral is many many many years from now. However, I do hope that Danny outlives Simon so he can deliver a eulogy with an introduction that lasts long enough to exasperate everyone attending and changes topics in such a way to confuse them too... That way Simon's loved one(s) can experience the typical madness of a Brain Blaze script before they scatter Simon's ashes, unless cremated Simon hasn't managed to knock over his own urn in a last act of frustration due to being unable to lift his head up and scream, "DANNY!"
Danny like “no subtitles, I am stitching these entries together like a finely made quilt” and to our absolute delight we get to watch Simon trainwreck himself through the video beautifully! I am laughing so hard my stomach hurts!!
As a wheelchair user I like the 'take the stairs' ads in office buildings I go to. More people being encouraged to use the stairs means the lift arrives quicker for me. Also it means there is more space in the lift at busy times for the guy in the wheelchair (you would not believe the number of times that a lift has arrived with enough space for a standing person left in it, but not for the larger floor space required for a wheelchair, so I have to wait for several to go by and arrive at meetings late).
At one of my previous universities the elevators were (supposedly) purposely slow to convince students to use the stairs instead; however, this meant anyone with mobility issues was always late for class and often left with non-accessible seating. So, yeah, that campaign worked really well. It is nice when the stair ads are combined with proper elevators though!
I use a walker and leg braces to get around, I have had the exact same issues more than once at many different places. It can be extremely frustrating.
I use a cane, and until COVID was primary transportation for my wheelchair bound father. While I can take the stairs, I'm really slow, and the office building for one of his doctors has ramps and elevators at opposite ends of the building.
I'm a fall risk thanks to a history of seizures and Chiari's. People judge the shit out of me, sometimes verbally, for taking the elevator in train stations because I'm young and don't "look" disabled. Most of the stations are 2-3 stories underground and it's not worth the risk of getting hurt if I can avoid it.
I use a cane and some days have to use a wheelchair. I have the same problem. Last time I took my kid to the local 3-story Aquarium there was someone letting their kids play in the elevator rather than actually watching them. There were several of us with mobility issues and a lady with little twins in a stroller waiting to use the elevator when my kid came back with an employee. Imagine using the elevator as a babysitter/toy because you don’t feel like supervising your own kids.
This episode had me cackling so many times. It started with Simon saying he's 3 months recorded ahead and I lost it when it became clear Danny hadn´t put in any subtitles and we saw that awkward little runaway by Simon accompanied by Sam's explanation. Absolutely fantastic.
On value funerals: when my partner first met my father, talk somehow turned to funerals (as you do with your prospective children-in-law when you're a bit old and both of you have a military sense of humour), and my partner said "I'd like a viking funeral" Dad stared off into space for a few seconds as if doing the math in his head, and after the most perfectly-timed comedy beat I''ve ever seen replied "I can probably afford a Coleman canoe and five gallons of gasoline," completely deadpan. [all laugh] "If I die first, Delivery's holding you to that." [I and the two of them laugh, Mom clearly doesn't have the same sense of humour]
Read an bill for an funeral of an teacher back in the last part of the 19th century in northern part of Norway, as he was employed by the government they had to pay for the funeral. Some planks, an sheet and 8 liter of booze.
Ok. I got the best one ever. Known by a few people. Absolutely, positively no-doubt-about-it actual, true, and real. Google it. Here it is. #1 GOAT. Ready? Awhile back, famous actor James Earl Jones was to recieve a recognition award from the Martin Luther King Jr. Foundation (I think that was the name MLKjr something) The award was a plaque of recognition and gratitude for JEJ's contributions to the Foundation. As he was handed the plaque he was looking at the wording and started laughing. _What did it say?_ It read.... _With special thanks to James Earl _*_Ray._* no shit. Please repost. Simon HAS to see this.
Come on Danny, lets start cranking out those epic blaze episodes. After that we need to get Simon out of the chair and back dancing around doing those script slaps and drum rolls. We need the old Blaze format brought back. If you agree give this a thumbs up.
Wow!! The Georgia Guide Stones got blown up!! Possibly done by the diabolical, Tainty McTaintface. It's well known that there is a massive blood stain on top of the cap stone from possibly a satanic sacrifice in 2014. As seen on DABOO77's YT channel on Oct 14, 2016. In other's vids recently, it looks like someone tried to clean it off. Krapthnar will be extremely displeased and everyone will pay dearly. 😂 🤣 💀🤪
Ok. I got the best one ever. Known by a few people. Absolutely, positively no-doubt-about-it actual, true, and real. Google it. Here it is. #1 GOAT. Ready? Awhile back, famous actor James Earl Jones was to recieve a recognition award from the Martin Luther King Jr. Foundation (I think that was the name MLKjr something) The award was a plaque of recognition and gratitude for JEJ's contributions to the Foundation. As he was handed the plaque he was looking at the wording and started laughing. _What did it say?_ It read.... _With special thanks to James Earl _*_Ray._* no shit. Please repost. Simon HAS to see this.
@@michaelmoore7975 That, that is one heck of a mistake to make in a name on a plaque. The irony is not lost on me. Essentially, the plaque is saying thanks in writing, to the name of the person (James Earl Ray) after he committed his crime against M,L King. Guess we could say; Well, that's embarrassing! I can't help but imagine a big awarding ceremony to present the award, only to have the guy take a brief look at it, before turning it for the crowed to see and gasp...
@@TheHungrySlug Not sure if true but supposedly the company that made the plaque was contacted by a reporter for an explanation and the reply was a "typo". Yeah right...fingers slipped and accidentally hit RAY instead of JONES....happens all the time....sure....SMH. The best part was supposedly James Earl Jones thought it was hilarious and took it all in stride.
18:40 Fight Children WIth Diabetes reminds me of an armband I saw sold to supporters of a veterans' PTSD charity....the armband says "NEVER FORGET!" which seems an odd slogan for a PTSD charity.
Offering a discount for a blind taxi driver sounds like a fair exchange. Rotherham sounds like a rather forward-thinking sort of place. I hear they even have pickled egg vending machines! And Danny, good ploy with the 'forgotten' subtitles. Maybe Simon will let you to back to proper introductions.
When I was in college, the elevator in the music building was notoriously unreliable. One day, it had broken down during an orchestra rehearsal, and one of the violin players, who used a wheelchair, needed to get to the first floor for his next class. Several of us decided we were good citizens that wanted to help out, so 4 of us each grabbed a corner and headed for the stairwell. Except for the part where we almost dumped him out face first, it went fine!
I love Danny trying a different approach, and Simon going "Doesn't flow very well does it" but it does when you take out the interruptions specifically pointing a break that shouldn't exist.
The street sign, "slow children ahead", or, "caution slow children." The latter sign makes me wonder if I'm supposed to stop and let them know they're slow? My favorite was when I was in 7-11 and they had a drink called, "soylent green." From a distopian movie where old people are turned into a liquid food called soylent green.
Ok. I got the best one ever. Known by a few people. Absolutely, positively no-doubt-about-it actual, true, and real. Google it. Here it is. #1 GOAT. Ready? Awhile back, famous actor James Earl Jones was to recieve a recognition award from the Martin Luther King Jr. Foundation (I think that was the name MLKjr something) The award was a plaque of recognition and gratitude for JEJ's contributions to the Foundation. As he was handed the plaque he was looking at the wording and started laughing. _What did it say?_ It read.... _With special thanks to James Earl _*_Ray._* no shit. Please repost. Simon HAS to see this.
While not an advertising fail in my person opinion, when growing up in my hometown there was a building shared by three separate businesses that saved a bit of money on their signage out front. The wonderful rhyming name was "Fluff Em, Buff Em, and Stuff Em," for the strangest combination of a hair salon, a car detailing shop, and a taxidermist. Classic 70's/80's humor.
Simon, please let Danny write more than 2000 words. Last videos had too few entries, and this one doesn't have enough Danny humor. Let him spread out more, its what makes this channel legendary
Real billboards for an in game bar that also shows mods and plugins that are against ToS AND uses the copyrighted FFXIV logo roflmao. Just for context for anyone not familiar with the situation.
@@pixelapocrypha Even worse, it's an ERP Discord filled with NSFW modded images.. which is entirely why SE is officially against mods (people are stupid and will think "wait a minute... the game is rated T! Why are there tits!? BAN THIS NAO"). And the female character in the billboard is wearing an unreleased, datamined costume (which itself is already a bannable offense). They spent *$14,000* to guarantee everyone involved got banned from the game. Just brilliant.
Ok. I got the best one ever. Known by a few people. Absolutely, positively no-doubt-about-it actual, true, and real. Google it. Here it is. #1 GOAT. Ready? Awhile back, famous actor James Earl Jones was to recieve a recognition award from the Martin Luther King Jr. Foundation (I think that was the name MLKjr something) The award was a plaque of recognition and gratitude for JEJ's contributions to the Foundation. As he was handed the plaque he was looking at the wording and started laughing. _What did it say?_ It read.... _With special thanks to James Earl _*_Ray._* no shit. Please repost. Simon HAS to see this.
I lived on fourth floor of a building that had no elevator. It sucked moving in and out. Grocery shopping was a killer too. Thought about pulling it up with a rope into window.
The bus shelter glass is actually really easily broken. I can't even count the number of times I've seen a drunk just collapse against it and end up on their backs on the sidewalk
The bus stops in Michigan USA were made of dark grey plastic and while that sometimes meant you felt more comfortable standing in the rain in certain areas it made sense to me. When they replaced them all with clear greenish glass I just thought, well we'll see how this goes. I'm beginning to wonder if it's bullet proof, it's very thick and I haven't seen one broken yet. I'd rather avoid testing the bullet proof theory though 😉. Seriously though it's a surprisingly safe city and I just hope it stays that way.
They tried using hardened plastic ones around Essex when I was younger to stop them being broken 5 minutes after installing until they realised that when people cannot break it they will........set light to it instead! Yes, the lovely acrid smell of burnt plastic and blackened bus shelter really set off the town.
Our local government must not trust us i guess (australia) the bus stops around my area are wooden lmao xD like the seat and walls are wood and the roof is usually tin.
@@limecat7996 Back in the '70s in Canberra bus stops were either just a chest high 4x4 post painted yellow or a round reinforced concrete bunker (think concrete water tank with 1/3 missing). Even the roof was concrete.
Oh, someone's gonna do it without even being asked. There are so many hours of Simon videos it'd be pretty straightforward to train a Whistlerbot. Then I suspect the author will make it talk about believing in ghosts and spread some wild conspiracies.
Seeing as you mentioned Bell's Palsy, in the early 1990s Canada had a federal election. The incumbent Conservatives were up against the resurgent Liberals, whose leader, Jean Chretian, had Bell's and talked out of the side of his mouth as a result. The Conservatives ran a series of print and tv ads with unflattering photos of him with the caption "Is this the face of a Prime Minister?" Someone approved that. Chretian was PM for the next ten years. ps: here in Toronto we often fight diabetic children. It's part of our summer festival.
Hello fellow Canadian! 🇨🇦 I'm just across the lake in Niagara. Summer is here, and I'm preparing for our coveted festival! 🎉 We must fight those diabetic children! Perhaps I'll see you there. 🤠
Here in France we had a German furniture company advertising their products with the tagline « Découvrez ce que l’Allemagne fait de mieux » (discover what Germany does best), and it got bad buzz once this very ad was unfortunately put next to an article about Auschwitz survivors in a French newspaper.
Ok. I got the best one ever. Known by a few people. Absolutely, positively no-doubt-about-it actual, true, and real. Google it. Here it is. #1 GOAT. Ready? Awhile back, famous actor James Earl Jones was to recieve a recognition award from the Martin Luther King Jr. Foundation (I think that was the name MLKjr something) The award was a plaque of recognition and gratitude for JEJ's contributions to the Foundation. As he was handed the plaque he was looking at the wording and started laughing. _What did it say?_ It read.... _With special thanks to James Earl _*_Ray._* no shit. Please repost. Simon HAS to see this.
A memory from my childhood that i know Simon will enjoy. I grew up in a small town in nowhere wyoming. The 4 or 5 different churches in town would stagger their vacation bible school things across the summer so that parents essentially had free child care for the entire summer. As a result growing up every summer going to all of these things every summer was just how things were. However i rarely stayed with the groups and did the usual crap with getting brainwashed an such. I can still remember where the hiding spots were for the candy and other treats were in almost every single building those things were held at. I also remember there was one church in particular that literally had no problem bribing kids to come as every day when we got there we got these GIANT chocolate chocolate chip muffins for breakfast. Yes it was just a cupcake without frosting and as a kid it was enough to bribe me to behave for the day. I honestly can still be easily bribed with chocolate. Especially if it is the chocolate cereal from Magic Spoon!
16:41 it actually does flow extremely well if read the way it was intended. Danny just forgot who the host of the show is and the way Simon’s mind works
my sister and i were once in a packed hospital elevator with a bunch of strangers and i couldnt stand the weird silence, so i asked "who has seen the movie speed with reeves, bullock, and hopper?" my sister instantly buried her face in her hands and said "omg i dont know you...."🤣
Rather enjoyed the stream of consciousness style of writing today, especially with Simon's clear need for structure conflicting with it. Simon's rants need to be kept in order with subtitles/subsegments lol Also, having been trapped on an elevator between the 12th and 13th floor for a little over an hour, definitely makes me opt more for stairs.
It's not an ad, but a street sign that I saw. It was a "Slow Elderly Crossing" sign in front of an old folks home that only said "Slow Elderly" for some reason, and right when I was waiting on a red light there was a group of like 7 old people waiting to cross the street right under the sign. I took a picture and it was perfect, it has the sign saying "Slow Elderly" with s half dozen elderly people standing there looking slow.
Awesome new mic stand... The only little problem now are plosives. Most people will not be able to hear whem, but maybe a lowcut on the rear switches on your mic will help. Cut at about 100Hz to remove the deep "p"s and you're golden! Also, pro tip, velcro strap the cable so it doesn't pull on it. Love the videos, keep it coming!
16:50 I once spent an hour running around a graveyard with my family trying to find the oldest grave and the shortest life we found a 15 day lifespan and a 1703 grave,it was a great competition.
Yes, Simon I am your printer. On behalf of your electronic ensemble, Hello . We are having a meeting about you. Be alert for further developments. Seek forgiveness from Tony Toaster
I count 14...so far... Brain Blaze TopTenz TodayIFoundOut Biographics Geographics Warographics Highlight History Megaprojects Side Projects The Casual Criminalist Decoding The Unknown Into The Shadows Xplrd (dead for now) The Science of Science Fiction There was also his personal channel that has like 1 video and that VisualPolitik thingy, whatever that was. Man's gonna become the one man monopoly of RUclips, and I for one - welcome it.
Decades ago, I knew a security guard who worked in a little guard shack who let employees in and out of the company parking lot, but working the graveyard shift (10 pm to 6 am), he saw few people, so he put an exercise bicycle in the shack and furiously rode that for nearly the whole eight hours of his shift (moved the exercise bike into an attached storage shed at the end of his shift before riding his regular bicycle back home). People asked if he was training for the Olympics, but he just wanted a good workout (the bike also had arm exercising handles). He was doing this for years. Really good exercise!
I wasn't afraid of elevators until I got stuck in one which went insane. When I was in university in 1984, the building I was in had 17 floors of 3 basements, a ground floor and 13 above that. So after lunch one day I got into the elevator with four other people on the 4th floor and pushed the button for the 10th floor. The lift then zoomed all the way to the 13th floor without stopping. then started falling to the basement. We looked at each other and pushed the buttons for our floors again until all the buttons were lit but the lift didn't stop. We stopped hard at sub basement 3 then shot back up to 13. We hit the emergency stop button and used the emergency phone and was told that "we don't see any issue" it should be ok now. So we let go of the emergency button and continued rocketing up and down. After four cycles of racing up and down at great speed, the lift answered a bell from the outside (it was one of a bank of 3) and we staggered out of the lift, green of face and warned the others not to get into the lift...which about 5 people ignored...and we could hear them scream a few seconds later as it started again. After that, I get nervous of any elevator that goes over about 4 floors, I stand right at the front and always...ALWAYS look for the emergency button!
My local grocery store had a back-to-school sale last year (yes, a grocery store. I dunno.). In the back of the store, there was this small but elaborate display set up of bottles of wine. Above the display was a large, hand-drawn sign that said, "Don't Forget About The Teachers!" I'm still kicking myself that I didn't get a picture of it and post it on social media. Might have gone viral. 🤣🤣
@@mangot589 True, but the phrase itself by their own admission, was slang folks used at the time that was explicitly sexual. They didn't know that and created one legendary ad. Lol. Can't argue with the results, it still worked. Hahaha.
It was the possible picture on that sign that worries me or a picture right next to it that I could see being particularly troubling. When was that, the 90's?
Ok. I got the best one ever. Known by a few people. Absolutely, positively no-doubt-about-it actual, true, and real. Google it. Here it is. #1 GOAT. Ready? Awhile back, famous actor James Earl Jones was to recieve a recognition award from the Martin Luther King Jr. Foundation (I think that was the name MLKjr something) The award was a plaque of recognition and gratitude for JEJ's contributions to the Foundation. As he was handed the plaque he was looking at the wording and started laughing. _What did it say?_ It read.... _With special thanks to James Earl _*_Ray._* no shit. Please repost. Simon HAS to see this.
I fully expected Danny to include Spirit Airlines advert of $29 flights to Toronto, via Niagara Falls airport, with the title, "WE'RE NOT SMOKING CRACK" along with a silhouette similar to the late mayor of Toronto (and habitual crack smoker and one of the memes used on this channel), Rob Ford.
Simon, I think the people who generally go to funeral parlors are *grieving*. It's not exactly the general practice for every average Joe to walk into a funeral parlor while they're still alive and plan their own funeral. So, first off, while the person who will be in the coffin can (hopefully) be expected to be "pretty old", the people who walk into the funeral parlor are going to be that person's children most of the time. Imagine one of your kids going to a funeral parlor after they've just lost you, their loving dad, and seeing the Walking Dead ad right there. I understand that for any person who is fine and hasn't recently lost any beloved family members, it would be a funny joke. I consider it a funny joke. But I don't want to be reminded of the shambling, rotting dead and people headshotting their loved ones to prevent zombie transformations, when my beloved dad just popped his clogs yesterday and I'm still trying to wrap my head around the fact that I'm never gonna be seeing him wandering through the garden in a bathrobe feeding the chickens anymore. It's something of a serious moment in most people's lives.
The advert about not using the phone felt very relatable to me. I used to be on my smartphone at any given opportunity, literally addicted to it. Nowadays I just have a phone which sends texts and phone calls and it's so noticeable and kind of annoying when I see all my friends or even parents constantly on the phone.
Wow just wow did those people sponsor like all the architects in my city? My whole job is carrying people up and down stairs because they cant walk anymore and their building doesn't have a lift or their lift is so small it qualifies as a poststamp lift, which is all you could fit into it (FR though Ive seen lifts that hold one thin short adult and theyd still be touching all 4 walls) . We're rolling in work to the point were we have to decline people. (I work in Patient transport to be exact, a side department of our local EMS, they just got tired of home transfers, dialysis and chemo drives so now we got a whole 20 ambulances* just for that xD) *For refrence we cover about 165.000 people. Roughly the same amount of 911(of my country) responding ambulances (18) cover 432.000 people.
You're saying people in your city call the ambulance in order to have someone carry them up and down stairs, and that as ambulance personnel, this is most of the work you do in a day?
@@trishapellis Kinda we're separate from actual emergency responders. And it's not the only thing we do, we also have between hospital transfers, hospice transfers and rehab transfers or genral docs appointments. But there are people living at home that cant even sit up anymore and they cant really take a Taxi can they now? So we basically provide the inbetween for people not having an emergency (or being sick enough for a real ambulance) and people healthy enough to get around on their own. You'd be surprised at how many extremely Ill people live at home with a team of carers/ family caregivers and sometimes even ICU levels of care by at home teams (one pt of ours has to be on an artifical lung during the night). My city just has a lot of older buildings so a lift is actually the exception not the norm. It takes time for someone to find an accesible living space, in the time before the move they still need to get out of their flat or maybe they temporarily cant walk until they can again we carry them up and down the stairs at their home bc they still have docs appointments etc.. Dialysis and Chemo pts usually drive with us bc it is too time consuming for their family to provide that (dialysis is 3x a week, chemo up to 6x and they have to go to a far away hospital up to 45 min one way + treatment takes about 4 hours for dialysis) and/or they're too weak after to get back up the stairs at their home. Specialist appointments are also difficult for family to do so we drive pt there wait with them and then drive them back, that can take up to 5 hours for a single pt. Insurance actually covers a lot of our services and it takes off that pressure of actual emergency responders (frequent Flyers e.g. can just call us to get a ride to hospital and they might actually get that faster treatment bc at some doctors offices we have a sperate line that's a lot faster than normal waiting times)
Simons covered so many topics on so many channels we can just remix his tangents and language and stuff them into different channels for more content when he dies. Steak is too good to pass up.
15 years ago there was a big christmas campaign for the Swedish real estate company "Locum" during christmas time, where they replaced the "o" with a heart. The problem is that they spell their name/their logo spells "locum" (always in all lower case), which makes it very unfortunate if you understand English
Ok. I got the best one ever. Known by a few people. Absolutely, positively no-doubt-about-it actual, true, and real. Google it. Here it is. #1 GOAT. Ready? Awhile back, famous actor James Earl Jones was to recieve a recognition award from the Martin Luther King Jr. Foundation (I think that was the name MLKjr something) The award was a plaque of recognition and gratitude for JEJ's contributions to the Foundation. As he was handed the plaque he was looking at the wording and started laughing. _What did it say?_ It read.... _With special thanks to James Earl _*_Ray._* no shit. Please repost. Simon HAS to see this.
Beaten women (or men) generally act all lovey-dovey with their spouse in the presence of other couples. It's why it's always a surprise when you hear about it later. My sister was in such a relationship. The way we found out she was being abused was when she was trying on a new shirt in my room and I saw her husband's thumb print (bruise) on her bicep. Shortly after that, they moved to a different state. I offered her my paycheck to move back home after a few months she returned to us (thank goodness).
Just fyi in America most funeral parlors are cooperate also. But when they bought the small places, they kept the names and usually the owners on board because it makes people feel better. Idk how true this is, but when a new parlor opens they use the name of the town/county/area, or the family name of the manager to make it feel smaller. But most are owned by the same business. So they've learned that even though most are already McCemetarys, if they actually call them that they can be easily driven out of business by a small local owner. But going in and pretending to be local keeps others out and business coming in. TLDR, death has been corporate in USA for almost 100 years, we just feel better pretending it isn't. Apparently you do to since you see it as the cheap way.
The convenience store chain is pronounced as a single syllable. Like chicken coops. The signs put the 1st 2 are in one color and the 2nd 2 in another. Took me more than a year to get it right! LOL!
There is a cemetery right across the street from a hospice near me. Right next to the hospice is a funeral home. I'm guessing it's all for easy transportation.
My family has a history of dying from brain aneurisms. So, I'll be alive one minute, and dead the next. Probably won't see it coming either. If my wife ever hears a loud *thunk*, she'll know it's me.
I could see blind taxis being a thing in Victorian London. Think about it, why would the driver need to see anything if the horse is doing all the work? lol. Reminds me of a story I read about a guy's great uncle who used to get smashed at the pub then just crawl into his horse and carriage and his horse would just take him home. No drunk driving to worry about. And I do realize acting as a taxi and going to multiple locations would be quite a bit harder for a horse, but if the driver was legally blind but still had SOME vision, it's possible he could still navigate while the horse does the... ahem, leg work.
I actually dig the last entry, children's haircuts. It inspires confidence by keeping it real: kids are monsters, pretending otherwise is the strange case.
When I was in the military (Australian) we had to do random drug tests when they were new. We got called in as a group to urinate in a cup (one each, don't be feral). At my last posting there was a doctor who would come out, 'add' a cup of apple juice and pretend to swig piss. Hilarious. Every time. No? Well, my SGT switched it for the real McCoy when our names came up. Best. Spit. Take. Ever.
Even after so many Casual Criminalist episodes where the murdered is described as 'such a nice guy, I never would have imagined he would do something like this' or some variation thereof, Simon is still like "I know more than 4 married guys, I can't imagine any of them beat their wives, I just don't think they are the type" It's always the quiet ones ya gotta watch Simon
0:55 I grew up in a small town that had maybe two elevators, one in the High School and one in the courthouse (maybe, never been there but I think it was at least two stories so it would have required one). When I encountered my first elevator at the OMSI science museum when I was 4 or 5 I thought it was the best thing ever, like some kind of carnival ride. 😅
Love how this read off. I like when Danny is getting is revenge for being locked in that basement with scripts like this. Been laughing this whole time.
CHRIST WILL COME AGAIN.
I....I knew you said you would come but...
and on that day all printers will work without any problems at all
Christ is coming
And so am I.
@@Grimsace Hacked...the...main frame...
@@Grimsace hax't
As a disabled individual who occasionally has to use a wheelchair and permanently using walking sticks to get around, I love the take the stairs notices you get in office buildings or being told to "hurry up" to get to the meeting, then watch their faces when I just "look" at them and say "Oh yes I forgot what it was like to be able to walk normally, sorry about that!
The "funniest" one was a couple of years ago, went for a job interview for a SQL Database job at a place in the middle of nowhere which was run by what I can only describe as neck beard hipsters who are all "up with it" for getting their staff fit and active.
So there is me, sitting there with my walking stick across my lap as they are happily telling me they have all desks converted to 100% standing so no one has to sit at a desk, encourage "lunch time jogging" to the point they give you a fit bit if you join and will monitor it so they give prizes monthly for the most steps and what not. Oh and they didn't even have any wheelchair access either.
Bearing in mind, the three who interviewed me, watched me hobble into the meeting room then came out with all the pro fitness and wellness crap and couldn't quite understand why I was giving them the "Read the room look".
Been there, done that, had to have repeated back surgery to get me partway back to normal.
Oh my. I was like "Okay, okay, this is a bit much" and then the end killed me, you were right there, lol. Damn.
@@cuttwice3905 I feel your pain. Literally. Lol. Sorry, laughing is the only way I can deal with it (no offence). Had 6 surgeries on knee, and radio frequency ablation on facet joints (6 on one side, 5 on the other, that was NOT FUN) to try and get some semblance of normalcy but nerve damage now too severe.
@@brainblaze6526 Generally I have a sense of humour about it and don't get offended, in fact I like winding up the "normies" to see them squirm thinking I have been "offended" but in that case I was like Dudes...seriously?? It may have even been worth ending up on a Brain Blaze episode with Danny writing "Essex man shoves walking stick up hipsters ass" lol
I understand.
Danny, please make the scripts increasingly more confusing for Simon. Thank you.
This had me in stitches everytime it swapped so fast haha
Reminds me of og business blaze
I hope Simon's funeral is many many many years from now.
However, I do hope that Danny outlives Simon so he can deliver a eulogy with an introduction that lasts long enough to exasperate everyone attending and changes topics in such a way to confuse them too...
That way Simon's loved one(s) can experience the typical madness of a Brain Blaze script before they scatter Simon's ashes, unless cremated Simon hasn't managed to knock over his own urn in a last act of frustration due to being unable to lift his head up and scream,
"DANNY!"
He can always record it now and update it annually.
Bwahaha😂
Simon can't die his a fact finding entertainment bot from the future
"AM I RIGHT PETER?"
Simon intends to get cryogenic frozen, only to be dethawed once they have cured dying
Danny like “no subtitles, I am stitching these entries together like a finely made quilt” and to our absolute delight we get to watch Simon trainwreck himself through the video beautifully! I am laughing so hard my stomach hurts!!
this episode is an absolute train wreck and i loved every second of it!
This is the way
Was totally waiting for Simon to have an aneurism. Keep up the good work, Danny!! This was hilarious!
Exactly why we all keep coming back for more
Yeah but these fucked episodes are my favorite ones
@@osric729 I'm proud to be daddy Simon's sub 😉
As a wheelchair user I like the 'take the stairs' ads in office buildings I go to. More people being encouraged to use the stairs means the lift arrives quicker for me. Also it means there is more space in the lift at busy times for the guy in the wheelchair (you would not believe the number of times that a lift has arrived with enough space for a standing person left in it, but not for the larger floor space required for a wheelchair, so I have to wait for several to go by and arrive at meetings late).
At one of my previous universities the elevators were (supposedly) purposely slow to convince students to use the stairs instead; however, this meant anyone with mobility issues was always late for class and often left with non-accessible seating. So, yeah, that campaign worked really well. It is nice when the stair ads are combined with proper elevators though!
I use a walker and leg braces to get around, I have had the exact same issues more than once at many different places. It can be extremely frustrating.
I use a cane, and until COVID was primary transportation for my wheelchair bound father. While I can take the stairs, I'm really slow, and the office building for one of his doctors has ramps and elevators at opposite ends of the building.
I'm a fall risk thanks to a history of seizures and Chiari's. People judge the shit out of me, sometimes verbally, for taking the elevator in train stations because I'm young and don't "look" disabled. Most of the stations are 2-3 stories underground and it's not worth the risk of getting hurt if I can avoid it.
I use a cane and some days have to use a wheelchair. I have the same problem.
Last time I took my kid to the local 3-story Aquarium there was someone letting their kids play in the elevator rather than actually watching them. There were several of us with mobility issues and a lady with little twins in a stroller waiting to use the elevator when my kid came back with an employee.
Imagine using the elevator as a babysitter/toy because you don’t feel like supervising your own kids.
This episode had me cackling so many times. It started with Simon saying he's 3 months recorded ahead and I lost it when it became clear Danny hadn´t put in any subtitles and we saw that awkward little runaway by Simon accompanied by Sam's explanation. Absolutely fantastic.
‘Not happy he has facial paralysis but happy he isn’t singing’ 😂 just going for P.C while also speaking the truth
On value funerals: when my partner first met my father, talk somehow turned to funerals (as you do with your prospective children-in-law when you're a bit old and both of you have a military sense of humour), and my partner said "I'd like a viking funeral"
Dad stared off into space for a few seconds as if doing the math in his head, and after the most perfectly-timed comedy beat I''ve ever seen replied "I can probably afford a Coleman canoe and five gallons of gasoline," completely deadpan. [all laugh]
"If I die first, Delivery's holding you to that." [I and the two of them laugh, Mom clearly doesn't have the same sense of humour]
Is your first name Delivery?!
Real curious.
And gullible, so feel free to just lie to me.
@@jaymeVos This comment is more relatable than it should be 💀💀
Read an bill for an funeral of an teacher back in the last part of the 19th century in northern part of Norway, as he was employed by the government they had to pay for the funeral.
Some planks, an sheet and 8 liter of booze.
Danny hit the anarchy button on this.
Also... I imagine the Biographics video for the life of Simon has already been recorded.
Omg
Ok. I got the best one ever. Known by a few people. Absolutely, positively no-doubt-about-it actual, true, and real. Google it.
Here it is. #1 GOAT. Ready?
Awhile back, famous actor James Earl Jones was to recieve a recognition award from the Martin Luther King Jr. Foundation (I think that was the name MLKjr something)
The award was a plaque of recognition and gratitude for JEJ's contributions to the Foundation.
As he was handed the plaque he was looking at the wording and started laughing.
_What did it say?_
It read....
_With special thanks to James Earl _*_Ray._*
no shit.
Please repost. Simon HAS to see this.
Come on Danny, lets start cranking out those epic blaze episodes. After that we need to get Simon out of the chair and back dancing around doing those script slaps and drum rolls. We need the old Blaze format brought back. If you agree give this a thumbs up.
👍👍👍👍👍👍
👍👍👍👍👍👍
Simon sets word limit
Danny removes subtitles
It's official: Sleep-deprived Simon is the funniest Simon
the cool thing is where his hair starts to grow back at 10:19 and then poof at 11:23, it's gone.
Wow!! The Georgia Guide Stones got blown up!! Possibly done by the diabolical, Tainty McTaintface.
It's well known that there is a massive blood stain on top of the cap stone from possibly a satanic sacrifice in 2014. As seen on DABOO77's YT channel on Oct 14, 2016. In other's vids recently, it looks like someone tried to clean it off.
Krapthnar will be extremely displeased and everyone will pay dearly. 😂 🤣 💀🤪
Ok. I got the best one ever. Known by a few people. Absolutely, positively no-doubt-about-it actual, true, and real. Google it.
Here it is. #1 GOAT. Ready?
Awhile back, famous actor James Earl Jones was to recieve a recognition award from the Martin Luther King Jr. Foundation (I think that was the name MLKjr something)
The award was a plaque of recognition and gratitude for JEJ's contributions to the Foundation.
As he was handed the plaque he was looking at the wording and started laughing.
_What did it say?_
It read....
_With special thanks to James Earl _*_Ray._*
no shit.
Please repost. Simon HAS to see this.
@@michaelmoore7975 That, that is one heck of a mistake to make in a name on a plaque. The irony is not lost on me.
Essentially, the plaque is saying thanks in writing, to the name of the person (James Earl Ray) after he committed his crime against M,L King.
Guess we could say; Well, that's embarrassing!
I can't help but imagine a big awarding ceremony to present the award, only to have the guy take a brief look at it, before turning it for the crowed to see and gasp...
@@TheHungrySlug Not sure if true but supposedly the company that made the plaque was contacted by a reporter for an explanation and the reply was a "typo".
Yeah right...fingers slipped and accidentally hit RAY instead of JONES....happens all the time....sure....SMH.
The best part was supposedly James Earl Jones thought it was hilarious and took it all in stride.
18:40 Fight Children WIth Diabetes reminds me of an armband I saw sold to supporters of a veterans' PTSD charity....the armband says "NEVER FORGET!" which seems an odd slogan for a PTSD charity.
Offering a discount for a blind taxi driver sounds like a fair exchange. Rotherham sounds like a rather forward-thinking sort of place. I hear they even have pickled egg vending machines! And Danny, good ploy with the 'forgotten' subtitles. Maybe Simon will let you to back to proper introductions.
When I was in college, the elevator in the music building was notoriously unreliable. One day, it had broken down during an orchestra rehearsal, and one of the violin players, who used a wheelchair, needed to get to the first floor for his next class. Several of us decided we were good citizens that wanted to help out, so 4 of us each grabbed a corner and headed for the stairwell. Except for the part where we almost dumped him out face first, it went fine!
I love Danny trying a different approach, and Simon going "Doesn't flow very well does it" but it does when you take out the interruptions specifically pointing a break that shouldn't exist.
The street sign, "slow children ahead", or, "caution slow children." The latter sign makes me wonder if I'm supposed to stop and let them know they're slow? My favorite was when I was in 7-11 and they had a drink called, "soylent green." From a distopian movie where old people are turned into a liquid food called soylent green.
No Parking 12 am to 12 pm is a favorite. There isn't a 12 am or 12 pm, one must be 12 noon and the other 12 midnight, but which is which?
Ok. I got the best one ever. Known by a few people. Absolutely, positively no-doubt-about-it actual, true, and real. Google it.
Here it is. #1 GOAT. Ready?
Awhile back, famous actor James Earl Jones was to recieve a recognition award from the Martin Luther King Jr. Foundation (I think that was the name MLKjr something)
The award was a plaque of recognition and gratitude for JEJ's contributions to the Foundation.
As he was handed the plaque he was looking at the wording and started laughing.
_What did it say?_
It read....
_With special thanks to James Earl _*_Ray._*
no shit.
Please repost. Simon HAS to see this.
In these "worst advertisements" videos, has Simon covered South Dakota's anti-meth slogan? "We're On It."
I have vague memories of this being covered before. I think. 🤔🤔
While not an advertising fail in my person opinion, when growing up in my hometown there was a building shared by three separate businesses that saved a bit of money on their signage out front. The wonderful rhyming name was "Fluff Em, Buff Em, and Stuff Em," for the strangest combination of a hair salon, a car detailing shop, and a taxidermist. Classic 70's/80's humor.
I just know they are all proud of that sign.
I was 5 minutes into this episode when I realized Simon is saying "Danny" and NOT "Daddy", which I DID think was weird, but also hilarious. 😂
Simon: this doesn't flow very well
Also Simon: I can't figure out when it's a new entry!
Sam ~ABSOLUTELY LOOOOVE the editing "Yet another old dude hating on things." OMGoodness, the editing just keeps getting better 😆
Simon, please let Danny write more than 2000 words. Last videos had too few entries, and this one doesn't have enough Danny humor. Let him spread out more, its what makes this channel legendary
Danny should omit subtitles until Simon retracts the word count limit on his scripts
Bring back Skelator! We need him to do the "What!!!??" whenever Simon says something that deserves it
Seriously! Jokes on him, I was in to that shit!
Skeletor 2022
I love how you turned Simon's Justin Bieber whinging into a meme, Sam. Just, perfect!
Simon's outbursts have me in literal tears 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂😂
"Gotta keep a bitch in line!" ☠☠☠☠☠☠
I dont know how you all manage to make this channel more and less of a disaster at the same time. Love it.
In honor of a Final Fantasy 14 guild putting up real billboards for thier in game bar, you should do more video game marketing fails.
Real billboards for an in game bar that also shows mods and plugins that are against ToS AND uses the copyrighted FFXIV logo roflmao. Just for context for anyone not familiar with the situation.
Nice to know I'm not the only one who IMMEDIATLY thought of this
@@pixelapocrypha Even worse, it's an ERP Discord filled with NSFW modded images.. which is entirely why SE is officially against mods (people are stupid and will think "wait a minute... the game is rated T! Why are there tits!? BAN THIS NAO"). And the female character in the billboard is wearing an unreleased, datamined costume (which itself is already a bannable offense). They spent *$14,000* to guarantee everyone involved got banned from the game. Just brilliant.
Ok. I got the best one ever. Known by a few people. Absolutely, positively no-doubt-about-it actual, true, and real. Google it.
Here it is. #1 GOAT. Ready?
Awhile back, famous actor James Earl Jones was to recieve a recognition award from the Martin Luther King Jr. Foundation (I think that was the name MLKjr something)
The award was a plaque of recognition and gratitude for JEJ's contributions to the Foundation.
As he was handed the plaque he was looking at the wording and started laughing.
_What did it say?_
It read....
_With special thanks to James Earl _*_Ray._*
no shit.
Please repost. Simon HAS to see this.
Ah, another individual of culture.
I lived on fourth floor of a building that had no elevator. It sucked moving in and out. Grocery shopping was a killer too. Thought about pulling it up with a rope into window.
The bus shelter glass is actually really easily broken. I can't even count the number of times I've seen a drunk just collapse against it and end up on their backs on the sidewalk
The bus stops in Michigan USA were made of dark grey plastic and while that sometimes meant you felt more comfortable standing in the rain in certain areas it made sense to me. When they replaced them all with clear greenish glass I just thought, well we'll see how this goes. I'm beginning to wonder if it's bullet proof, it's very thick and I haven't seen one broken yet. I'd rather avoid testing the bullet proof theory though 😉. Seriously though it's a surprisingly safe city and I just hope it stays that way.
Back in the 1980s trashing a bus stop was a rite of passage for all metalheads.
They tried using hardened plastic ones around Essex when I was younger to stop them being broken 5 minutes after installing until they realised that when people cannot break it they will........set light to it instead!
Yes, the lovely acrid smell of burnt plastic and blackened bus shelter really set off the town.
Our local government must not trust us i guess (australia) the bus stops around my area are wooden lmao xD like the seat and walls are wood and the roof is usually tin.
@@limecat7996 Back in the '70s in Canberra bus stops were either just a chest high 4x4 post painted yellow or a round reinforced concrete bunker (think concrete water tank with 1/3 missing). Even the roof was concrete.
Simon, just have an CGI / AI model commissioned so that the Simon RUclips Universe may live on forever!!!
Oh, someone's gonna do it without even being asked. There are so many hours of Simon videos it'd be pretty straightforward to train a Whistlerbot. Then I suspect the author will make it talk about believing in ghosts and spread some wild conspiracies.
Vtube Simon would be so weird yet so great
@@kaymarrand9970 how do we know Simon won't just train a successor to take over when he dies?
This had some business blaze level energy in it, even with a seated Simon.
Seeing as you mentioned Bell's Palsy, in the early 1990s Canada had a federal election. The incumbent Conservatives were up against the resurgent Liberals, whose leader, Jean Chretian, had Bell's and talked out of the side of his mouth as a result. The Conservatives ran a series of print and tv ads with unflattering photos of him with the caption "Is this the face of a Prime Minister?" Someone approved that. Chretian was PM for the next ten years.
ps: here in Toronto we often fight diabetic children. It's part of our summer festival.
Hello fellow Canadian! 🇨🇦 I'm just across the lake in Niagara. Summer is here, and I'm preparing for our coveted festival! 🎉 We must fight those diabetic children! Perhaps I'll see you there. 🤠
I had it once due to stress, i just didnt know till after the fact bahaha so i was like ‘OMG WAIT IM NOT GOING CRAZY’
Here in France we had a German furniture company advertising their products with the tagline « Découvrez ce que l’Allemagne fait de mieux » (discover what Germany does best), and it got bad buzz once this very ad was unfortunately put next to an article about Auschwitz survivors in a French newspaper.
Oh mon Dieu 😂🤣
@@JohnDrummondPhoto omelette du fromage
Maybe the newspaper editor was just racist
Ok. I got the best one ever. Known by a few people. Absolutely, positively no-doubt-about-it actual, true, and real. Google it.
Here it is. #1 GOAT. Ready?
Awhile back, famous actor James Earl Jones was to recieve a recognition award from the Martin Luther King Jr. Foundation (I think that was the name MLKjr something)
The award was a plaque of recognition and gratitude for JEJ's contributions to the Foundation.
As he was handed the plaque he was looking at the wording and started laughing.
_What did it say?_
It read....
_With special thanks to James Earl _*_Ray._*
no shit.
Please repost. Simon HAS to see this.
@@michaelmoore7975 🐐🐐🐐
I miss the old days of business blaze, with the roaming, and the bionic arse, and the script slaps.
Me to.......
Same.
But tbh I'd rather he take all the time to properly heal his collarbone then fuck around & end up in more pain.
A memory from my childhood that i know Simon will enjoy. I grew up in a small town in nowhere wyoming. The 4 or 5 different churches in town would stagger their vacation bible school things across the summer so that parents essentially had free child care for the entire summer. As a result growing up every summer going to all of these things every summer was just how things were.
However i rarely stayed with the groups and did the usual crap with getting brainwashed an such. I can still remember where the hiding spots were for the candy and other treats were in almost every single building those things were held at.
I also remember there was one church in particular that literally had no problem bribing kids to come as every day when we got there we got these GIANT chocolate chocolate chip muffins for breakfast. Yes it was just a cupcake without frosting and as a kid it was enough to bribe me to behave for the day.
I honestly can still be easily bribed with chocolate. Especially if it is the chocolate cereal from Magic Spoon!
It's always hilarious to watch Fact Boy diss Bieber whenever he gets the chance 😂 😂
16:41 it actually does flow extremely well if read the way it was intended. Danny just forgot who the host of the show is and the way Simon’s mind works
my sister and i were once in a packed hospital elevator with a bunch of strangers and i couldnt stand the weird silence, so i asked "who has seen the movie speed with reeves, bullock, and hopper?" my sister instantly buried her face in her hands and said "omg i dont know you...."🤣
Rather enjoyed the stream of consciousness style of writing today, especially with Simon's clear need for structure conflicting with it. Simon's rants need to be kept in order with subtitles/subsegments lol
Also, having been trapped on an elevator between the 12th and 13th floor for a little over an hour, definitely makes me opt more for stairs.
Simon only wants order because he can add his own chaos to it.
It's not an ad, but a street sign that I saw. It was a "Slow Elderly Crossing" sign in front of an old folks home that only said "Slow Elderly" for some reason, and right when I was waiting on a red light there was a group of like 7 old people waiting to cross the street right under the sign. I took a picture and it was perfect, it has the sign saying "Slow Elderly" with s half dozen elderly people standing there looking slow.
Love the recycled topics, gives that sweet OGBB nostalgia. And there will always be incompetent advertisers to laugh at
Awesome new mic stand... The only little problem now are plosives. Most people will not be able to hear whem, but maybe a lowcut on the rear switches on your mic will help. Cut at about 100Hz to remove the deep "p"s and you're golden!
Also, pro tip, velcro strap the cable so it doesn't pull on it.
Love the videos, keep it coming!
The lack of cable strain relief made me cringe, then I remembered that I don't care.
16:50 I once spent an hour running around a graveyard with my family trying to find the oldest grave and the shortest life we found a 15 day lifespan and a 1703 grave,it was a great competition.
Yes, Simon
I am your printer.
On behalf of your electronic ensemble,
Hello .
We are having a meeting about you.
Be alert for further developments.
Seek forgiveness from Tony Toaster
That Justin Bieber meme 😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
I think Danny and Sam hatched this plan together - Danny drives Simon crazy without subtitles and Sam gets to have a lot of fun with memes 😂
Not even I have to wait 2000 years for a second coming. Maybe an hour at most.
Speaking co-op's weird businesses..
Co-op also owns my old highschool.
So now they're a shop, a funeral service AND a school.
Swear Simon has like 10 you tube channels now keep finding more love it 😀
10 is probably undercutting it. I'm sure it's more like 30
He just made a new one too (The Science of Science Fiction). His complete takeover grows ever closer.
I count 14...so far...
Brain Blaze
TopTenz
TodayIFoundOut
Biographics
Geographics
Warographics
Highlight History
Megaprojects
Side Projects
The Casual Criminalist
Decoding The Unknown
Into The Shadows
Xplrd (dead for now)
The Science of Science Fiction
There was also his personal channel that has like 1 video and that VisualPolitik thingy, whatever that was.
Man's gonna become the one man monopoly of RUclips, and I for one - welcome it.
"I know it's supposed to flow, but... It doesn't". If you listen closely, you can hear Danny crying in the background.
McDonalds in Portugal featured a Halloween promotion ice-cream with strawberry sauce using the slogan "Sundae Bloody Sundae" That went down well 🤦
😄
"GOTTA KEEP THAT B*TCH IN LINE" took all my will power not to burst out laughing in the middle of a quiet office 😂
I really like the new setup simon! And the 2 cameras, one for reading one for tangents, is amazing 😂
Decades ago, I knew a security guard who worked in a little guard shack who let employees in and out of the company parking lot, but working the graveyard shift (10 pm to 6 am), he saw few people, so he put an exercise bicycle in the shack and furiously rode that for nearly the whole eight hours of his shift (moved the exercise bike into an attached storage shed at the end of his shift before riding his regular bicycle back home). People asked if he was training for the Olympics, but he just wanted a good workout (the bike also had arm exercising handles). He was doing this for years. Really good exercise!
I wasn't afraid of elevators until I got stuck in one which went insane. When I was in university in 1984, the building I was in had 17 floors of 3 basements, a ground floor and 13 above that. So after lunch one day I got into the elevator with four other people on the 4th floor and pushed the button for the 10th floor. The lift then zoomed all the way to the 13th floor without stopping. then started falling to the basement. We looked at each other and pushed the buttons for our floors again until all the buttons were lit but the lift didn't stop. We stopped hard at sub basement 3 then shot back up to 13. We hit the emergency stop button and used the emergency phone and was told that "we don't see any issue" it should be ok now. So we let go of the emergency button and continued rocketing up and down.
After four cycles of racing up and down at great speed, the lift answered a bell from the outside (it was one of a bank of 3) and we staggered out of the lift, green of face and warned the others not to get into the lift...which about 5 people ignored...and we could hear them scream a few seconds later as it started again.
After that, I get nervous of any elevator that goes over about 4 floors, I stand right at the front and always...ALWAYS look for the emergency button!
This was one of the best in a while, well done Team Blaze Bois !
Can’t wait for Simon’s workout channel
My local grocery store had a back-to-school sale last year (yes, a grocery store. I dunno.). In the back of the store, there was this small but elaborate display set up of bottles of wine. Above the display was a large, hand-drawn sign that said, "Don't Forget About The Teachers!" I'm still kicking myself that I didn't get a picture of it and post it on social media. Might have gone viral. 🤣🤣
May I request a prop? A stack of papers to have on the desk, I miss a hearty script slap.
The McDonald's 'I'd hit it' ad still gets me to this day.
Well, not everything used to be dirty🤷♀️
@@mangot589 True, but the phrase itself by their own admission, was slang folks used at the time that was explicitly sexual. They didn't know that and created one legendary ad. Lol.
Can't argue with the results, it still worked. Hahaha.
It was the possible picture on that sign that worries me or a picture right next to it that I could see being particularly troubling. When was that, the 90's?
@@riverlady982 Circa 2005.
Ok. I got the best one ever. Known by a few people. Absolutely, positively no-doubt-about-it actual, true, and real. Google it.
Here it is. #1 GOAT. Ready?
Awhile back, famous actor James Earl Jones was to recieve a recognition award from the Martin Luther King Jr. Foundation (I think that was the name MLKjr something)
The award was a plaque of recognition and gratitude for JEJ's contributions to the Foundation.
As he was handed the plaque he was looking at the wording and started laughing.
_What did it say?_
It read....
_With special thanks to James Earl _*_Ray._*
no shit.
Please repost. Simon HAS to see this.
I fully expected Danny to include Spirit Airlines advert of $29 flights to Toronto, via Niagara Falls airport, with the title, "WE'RE NOT SMOKING CRACK" along with a silhouette similar to the late mayor of Toronto (and habitual crack smoker and one of the memes used on this channel), Rob Ford.
Simon either your account got hacked or I'm not in the know about the Elon Musk Cryptoscam Livestream
At my funeral I'd like the music to be Justin Bleater covering 1D songs.
Guarantees that I'd be glad I'm dead.
Simon, I think the people who generally go to funeral parlors are *grieving*. It's not exactly the general practice for every average Joe to walk into a funeral parlor while they're still alive and plan their own funeral. So, first off, while the person who will be in the coffin can (hopefully) be expected to be "pretty old", the people who walk into the funeral parlor are going to be that person's children most of the time. Imagine one of your kids going to a funeral parlor after they've just lost you, their loving dad, and seeing the Walking Dead ad right there.
I understand that for any person who is fine and hasn't recently lost any beloved family members, it would be a funny joke. I consider it a funny joke. But I don't want to be reminded of the shambling, rotting dead and people headshotting their loved ones to prevent zombie transformations, when my beloved dad just popped his clogs yesterday and I'm still trying to wrap my head around the fact that I'm never gonna be seeing him wandering through the garden in a bathrobe feeding the chickens anymore. It's something of a serious moment in most people's lives.
"gottah keep dat b**** in line!"
Simon said that with such British gusto 🤣🤣🤣
The advert about not using the phone felt very relatable to me. I used to be on my smartphone at any given opportunity, literally addicted to it. Nowadays I just have a phone which sends texts and phone calls and it's so noticeable and kind of annoying when I see all my friends or even parents constantly on the phone.
Good to see Brain Blaze go back towards its Business Blaze roots
Wow just wow did those people sponsor like all the architects in my city? My whole job is carrying people up and down stairs because they cant walk anymore and their building doesn't have a lift or their lift is so small it qualifies as a poststamp lift, which is all you could fit into it (FR though Ive seen lifts that hold one thin short adult and theyd still be touching all 4 walls) . We're rolling in work to the point were we have to decline people. (I work in Patient transport to be exact, a side department of our local EMS, they just got tired of home transfers, dialysis and chemo drives so now we got a whole 20 ambulances* just for that xD)
*For refrence we cover about 165.000 people. Roughly the same amount of 911(of my country) responding ambulances (18) cover 432.000 people.
You're saying people in your city call the ambulance in order to have someone carry them up and down stairs, and that as ambulance personnel, this is most of the work you do in a day?
@@trishapellis Kinda we're separate from actual emergency responders. And it's not the only thing we do, we also have between hospital transfers, hospice transfers and rehab transfers or genral docs appointments. But there are people living at home that cant even sit up anymore and they cant really take a Taxi can they now? So we basically provide the inbetween for people not having an emergency (or being sick enough for a real ambulance) and people healthy enough to get around on their own. You'd be surprised at how many extremely Ill people live at home with a team of carers/ family caregivers and sometimes even ICU levels of care by at home teams (one pt of ours has to be on an artifical lung during the night). My city just has a lot of older buildings so a lift is actually the exception not the norm. It takes time for someone to find an accesible living space, in the time before the move they still need to get out of their flat or maybe they temporarily cant walk until they can again we carry them up and down the stairs at their home bc they still have docs appointments etc.. Dialysis and Chemo pts usually drive with us bc it is too time consuming for their family to provide that (dialysis is 3x a week, chemo up to 6x and they have to go to a far away hospital up to 45 min one way + treatment takes about 4 hours for dialysis) and/or they're too weak after to get back up the stairs at their home. Specialist appointments are also difficult for family to do so we drive pt there wait with them and then drive them back, that can take up to 5 hours for a single pt.
Insurance actually covers a lot of our services and it takes off that pressure of actual emergency responders (frequent Flyers e.g. can just call us to get a ride to hospital and they might actually get that faster treatment bc at some doctors offices we have a sperate line that's a lot faster than normal waiting times)
Simons covered so many
topics on so many channels we can just remix his tangents and language and stuff them into different channels for more content when he dies. Steak is too good to pass up.
15 years ago there was a big christmas campaign for the Swedish real estate company "Locum" during christmas time, where they replaced the "o" with a heart.
The problem is that they spell their name/their logo spells "locum" (always in all lower case), which makes it very unfortunate if you understand English
jesus christ.
@@ryanbradleyrankin I don't think he'd want anything to do with it.
Ok. I got the best one ever. Known by a few people. Absolutely, positively no-doubt-about-it actual, true, and real. Google it.
Here it is. #1 GOAT. Ready?
Awhile back, famous actor James Earl Jones was to recieve a recognition award from the Martin Luther King Jr. Foundation (I think that was the name MLKjr something)
The award was a plaque of recognition and gratitude for JEJ's contributions to the Foundation.
As he was handed the plaque he was looking at the wording and started laughing.
_What did it say?_
It read....
_With special thanks to James Earl _*_Ray._*
no shit.
Please repost. Simon HAS to see this.
Danny leaving the subtitles out again. Legend.
Beaten women (or men) generally act all lovey-dovey with their spouse in the presence of other couples. It's why it's always a surprise when you hear about it later. My sister was in such a relationship. The way we found out she was being abused was when she was trying on a new shirt in my room and I saw her husband's thumb print (bruise) on her bicep. Shortly after that, they moved to a different state. I offered her my paycheck to move back home after a few months she returned to us (thank goodness).
Half the fun of watching this channel is seeing how Danny has managed to confuse Simon.
Next episode: Terrible account security of Simon Whistler's RUclips empire.
I for one like Danny leaving out subtitles because of the confusion and rants that come from Simon. Good job Danny 😜😂
Just fyi in America most funeral parlors are cooperate also. But when they bought the small places, they kept the names and usually the owners on board because it makes people feel better.
Idk how true this is, but when a new parlor opens they use the name of the town/county/area, or the family name of the manager to make it feel smaller. But most are owned by the same business.
So they've learned that even though most are already McCemetarys, if they actually call them that they can be easily driven out of business by a small local owner. But going in and pretending to be local keeps others out and business coming in.
TLDR, death has been corporate in USA for almost 100 years, we just feel better pretending it isn't. Apparently you do to since you see it as the cheap way.
The convenience store chain is pronounced as a single syllable. Like chicken coops. The signs put the 1st 2 are in one color and the 2nd 2 in another. Took me more than a year to get it right! LOL!
To answer your question Simon. Bible camp is worse then death .
There is a cemetery right across the street from a hospice near me. Right next to the hospice is a funeral home. I'm guessing it's all for easy transportation.
My family has a history of dying from brain aneurisms. So, I'll be alive one minute, and dead the next. Probably won't see it coming either. If my wife ever hears a loud *thunk*, she'll know it's me.
I could see blind taxis being a thing in Victorian London. Think about it, why would the driver need to see anything if the horse is doing all the work? lol. Reminds me of a story I read about a guy's great uncle who used to get smashed at the pub then just crawl into his horse and carriage and his horse would just take him home. No drunk driving to worry about. And I do realize acting as a taxi and going to multiple locations would be quite a bit harder for a horse, but if the driver was legally blind but still had SOME vision, it's possible he could still navigate while the horse does the... ahem, leg work.
Oh the temptation to clip 20:25 "gotta keep that bitch in line" and use it as a sound effect... Simon you give us so much gold!
I actually dig the last entry, children's haircuts. It inspires confidence by keeping it real: kids are monsters, pretending otherwise is the strange case.
Monsters that lure us in with moments of cuteness.
Simon(Out Loud): “Gotta keep that b***h in line!”
Simon(In his head): “ I made a misstaaaaake!”
When I was in the military (Australian) we had to do random drug tests when they were new. We got called in as a group to urinate in a cup (one each, don't be feral). At my last posting there was a doctor who would come out, 'add' a cup of apple juice and pretend to swig piss. Hilarious. Every time. No? Well, my SGT switched it for the real McCoy when our names came up. Best. Spit. Take. Ever.
Even after so many Casual Criminalist episodes where the murdered is described as 'such a nice guy, I never would have imagined he would do something like this' or some variation thereof, Simon is still like "I know more than 4 married guys, I can't imagine any of them beat their wives, I just don't think they are the type"
It's always the quiet ones ya gotta watch Simon
0:55 I grew up in a small town that had maybe two elevators, one in the High School and one in the courthouse (maybe, never been there but I think it was at least two stories so it would have required one). When I encountered my first elevator at the OMSI science museum when I was 4 or 5 I thought it was the best thing ever, like some kind of carnival ride. 😅
Makes me remember the bit about how if Simon is selling out for Bitcoin he's probably been hacked 🤣
Love how this read off. I like when Danny is getting is revenge for being locked in that basement with scripts like this. Been laughing this whole time.
I love it when Simon just starts rambling.
This had me wiping tears rather often. Great job
You guys make me laugh thanks for the giggles from an OLD LADY, Simon 🙏🏻🤣 and I was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes decades ago 🤮
The chaos in this episode brings warmth to my heart. Never change blaze boy, never change.
Simon: "Gotta keep that ***** in line!"
Me: "AM I RIGHT PETER?!"
Here to have my brain blazed!
Noooooo!!! Brain Blaze has been hacked!!!! 😭 They're showing one of those fake crypto Livestreams.
Simon must be fulminating right now lmao