Not wisdom, just bitterness. We have all had our hearts broken.. we choose how to move on from that. My point is dont be afraid.. Throw everything you have to life.. problem is we have preconceived notions about everything. And many of us are selfish. 50 50 ❤
I dont smell a whiff of bitterness. Look at him, he looks healthy, glowy, mature, reasonable, talks about what i see everyday around me. If he were bitter, he wont glow, he wont look healthy. He is on his journey to explore every neuron and techron running thru his body. Bitterness is like a cancer. My best wishes for this soul. We werent just born to 9 am to 5 pm facade, go to a bar, pick up women, brag about work/ status.... Thats like forced required shitting. He is not on another level but a dimension that is only avhievable by those who work on themselves continuosly.
@@nathan2813 "Most often they find this most satisfying with other ladies, though." No, they don't. It's just all they can get when they're old and refused to learn from their past mistakes and accept the reality that in order for a man to grow old with them, they MUST play their role as women to balance his role as the man. Instead, they want it all, and they're miserable. Shocker.
@@Larry_Sycamore In opposing what I said: that older women find social interaction most satisfying with other ladies, you're contradicting your own argument. That is, that women prefer the company of men but can't get it because they refuse to be subservient to them. If the company of men was so satisfying to them and being subservient to them was required to have it, they'd happily do it. That they don't and instead spend their free time with ladies demonstrates they don't find the company of men as rewarding as spending it with their lady friends.
Love has a price. If you don't have enough to impress her and fill her head with imaginations of the future,she can't love you. If that's all love is,a transaction,then I don't want it.
@@vanessak7069 Entitlement complexes, Lack of morals/values/integrity, political or religious differences. A lot are single mothers. Some are independent and aren't actually looking for a partner. So the amount of actual single high quality women available is miniscule, and of those women, they are all looking for 9s or 10s. So the prospect of actually finding a partner is pretty much improbable.
42 and solo. At this point I see train wrecks all around me, while I can go back home and play guitar, drink whiskey, read books, listen to the blues and jazz, ponder about life. Sleep peacefully. Enjoy my quiet. I love it and I won't give it up.
So, at 55 and divorced now for three years, after a twenty five year marriage, I'm learning I love being alone. Maybe not so much being alone, but being and doing me. I answer to no one and am not accountable to anyone. The independence is quite refreshing!
My hubby and I were in our late 30's when we met.....but our life experiences did not take away our love for adventure and we were still ready for new things and we did....23 years later and 2 kids....many travels and adventures later together....and we are still loving life and experiences. So, no....I think there is always space to grow and change with another.....no matter your age.
@@OrdnanceTV Think of it this way: You've proven to yourself and the world that you are capable of long term dedication. You're also not a complete sewer tank if somebody at least tolerated (probably loved, but I'll stick to the facts) you for 13 years and you probably have learned a thing or two about how to run a relationship and how to accommodate two individuals together. There's an entire subgroup of women couple of years younger than you, feeling the engagement pressure of looming 30's. As known by hard statistics they prefer a bit older men, you'd make a good catch for someone! For many women(and the actually worthwhile kind with morale and virtuous values) appreciate a guy that hasn't been running around on a bomb run of body count, but rather have devoted to a relationship. It could be established that your experience and history of choice puts you above par in the so called "markets". You can compound perceptions in many ways while remaining just as correct or incorrect. Meaning, you can see one and same reality in many colours ranging from positive to negative without the reality being any more or less negative or positive; for these are limited assessments we as humans give to the Reality, which itself is neutral by nature and absolutely indifferent to our interpretation of it. I expect success to befall upon you, but good luck nevertheless my friend.
@Balder Shining what? Life is about constant growth. I love what he said in this video. I've been doing self development work for about 4 years and moreso the last year but actually growth oriented since I was 18. Married twice. Actually good teamwork. The negativity you imprint into your brain will keep repeating with time. It's how people arrive in fear instead of working towards fearless love. blame your caregivers between age 0-6 and any anxious avoidant traps you entangled yourself in over The years because you didn't do the work people. The really wonderful part about this is my best future has already begun. Dating is fun and what everyone wants. Men think they want just sex because they haven't rewired their programming for emotions. They actually want that little bit of intimacy afterwards and to make a woman happy. Relationships can be a beautiful thing. I'm 52. spent my life so healthfully in every way I could and I encourage you all to change your ways . We attract what we are not what we want. I am attracting all the men who've done the work. Life is good!
My 1st wife was kind enough not to divorce me until 3 months after I made the last mortgage payment. Having a son and a good lawyer she took everything that I worked 7 days a week to pay for. Hindsight - The best thing I ever did was to agree with everything she asked for this caught her by surprise & made the divorce much easier plus turned her into a part time lover years later. But the most important thing was we had a son & by giving her the home my son always had a place he called home. This helped him excel in school & life in general .
Relationships in this age seem so mechanical. How much money the man makes vs how attractive the woman is. It's purely a spiritless exchange of assets, materialistic lust pit against lust of the flesh. A strange and wasteful use of energy. I suppose true joyful, not material based relationships may still exist, however incredibly rare.
I wasted so much of my life trying to find someone to settle down and start a family with. I'm turning 40 this month and I'm going to live for me and my animals.
Amen brother. Amen. I got my dogs. I got my ps4 and soon to have PS5. I got my mortal kombat online record to keep. Been a kombatant since 1993. I got my weed. I’ll drop acid whehever I can find it and then peacefully watch Star Trek reruns. Also, pizza to go!!
@@amanofnoreputation2164 also, can’t I as a man say I’m a little bitter and disgusted how life turned out without being labeled an incel who will shoot people?
@@Filthy_Larry The answer of course is "No". Not that it matters. As long as one has an occupation that is in demand and creates wealth, one can rub questions regarding being an incel right back into the faces of those that ask it. My response was often. "If had a job as worthless as yours, I too would have time to date."
@Hans Grubers Goatee There was a time when I did not see it. It struck deeply to me too. I think many aspects of it still does & probably always will so long as there is imbalance Like most men, I showed up to serve & protect modern woman in tune with my nature. The realizations all visiting me seemingly @ once. It sent me into a bit of an existential crisis for a while. But I am grateful, if it had not of struck deeply them maybe I might not of ever made some changes. Anyone who can come up with such a distinguished handle I think has it well with in them to get beyond it. If it is hell that I am faced with, then I much rather have a heads up on the depths of it that try to negate it alone & unknowing.
Almost the same. My last marriage was like a tour of duty. My vacation has been found in my aloneness. I'm out the game and coaching from the sidelines.
At 30, I'm fit, active, have a good job, and am in my physical prime. I actually think I still haven't reached my prime yet, physically or mentally. I get interested looks after interested looks from women. But after walking away from 2 serious relationships in my 20's for various reasons (and being damn glad I escaped with my sanity), I've gotten so picky it seems almost imperceptible to find a real "match" in compatibility. I've melded myself as an individual to the point where there is no hope for lock & key compatibility anymore. I see men straddled by women into soul-sucking relationships, and they've really done it to themselves - you can't blame woman for being who/what they are. So many men barely even retain their masculinity anymore. You see their perfect little family posts on social media, and then find out one of them is cheating. As a musician, I've played for many weddings, and more than half of those couples are now divorced (cheating, turning gay/bisexual, incompatibility, etc). I can hardly even gather the motivation to talk to woman, not because of anxiety but because I know chances are I'll lose interest beyond sex when I see she has nothing else to offer in terms of companionship, support, or as a member of our "team" in life. So instead I surf, swim, bike, travel, save money, and just live. Freedom, acceptance, and embrace of the fact that your are alone in this world is the only thing a man can ever really have. It's just you here gentleman, in this world, alone. There's nothing wrong with that. It's the complete freedom of realizing you have nothing to lose and never did. What else is there?
The wake-up call happened when I went to a bar at age 40. I became the old guy at the bar checking out the younger women like I still "had it". I only did it once. I've found a lot more peace with my books and records nowadays.
Me too, after 40 I lost my interest in dating. I have a long term relation with a woman. Gaming with my PC or reading is more fun than dating, definetely.
@@prunelicious7437 well some women like older guys. I am 41 but I look like I am early 30's and much younger women cheking me out. Even some of them who know my age also do that.
The only part I'm bitter about is that no one ever really wanted me. It was because I was always so quiet and introverted. I'm 35 now and have also given up. This guy is right about how the world becomes more interesting. I am putting everything into building my own house. Designing the outside and inside. Researching building code, construction science (as it's called), and just bought a 7 acre piece of land. It's an investment in inanimate objects. They may never love me, converse with me, or hold me tight, but they also won't ever leave me, betray me, or divorce me to take away half of my assets. It is lonely, but maybe that is just something we have to accept.
I’m 51 and I haven’t dated in 14 years. I wouldn’t know how to go about it now. I can’t see it ever happening again, and I can’t even imagine myself ever being interested in anyone ever again. I’ll be single now until the end.
Are you saying just because you got older, you forgot how to relate with women? I'm 36 and I don't do it either, but I'll never forget, keep it shallow and you'll do just fine.
@@truthseekingfreethinker5214 good question. When I was young I longed for marriage and a family and the whole concept of the happily ever after thing, until I realised that was all just a Walt Disney fairy tale. Sure I still notice an attractive woman when I see one but, I just have no desire to ever be with one again. And at my age, the old one nighter is a bit of by gone thing.
I am turning 37 in a month. I could see me where you are at 51. So far I don't miss the 'connection'. I don't think relationships provide anything, other than problems. Personally, my life has become more fulfilling with hobbies. Music and art: both of which I never had time for before.
At my recent day job I’ve had three senior staff all ask me if I’m married or have kids. They’re in their 40s and I’m in my 30s. Lot of social programming to get on the same page.
It's because they are lost. I'm in a relationship and very happy but that was by complete luck. I'd never ask that question because I know a relationship with a woman is extremely hard. They ask because they want to hear how unhappy you are so that can feel better. And maybe they might ask a person who is unhappy but the ones that ask are unhappy too.
@@tamaradodgson3350 I needed to see your words. Thank-you for writing them. This guy sees profundity in lazy casual misogyny. Speaking straight to camera, in monochrome, confidently, with a soundtrack is effective communication. But the simmering hatred lurks close beneath the surface.
Tamara Dodgson hate to have to tell you... but your children are baggage - I'm sure most men would agree. In fact there aren't too many men out there that would want to raise another man's children. I would even go as far as to suggest that it's almost a primordial instinct of human male behaviour. Whilst I'm certainly not putting humans on the same level as animals... this behaviour is also evident all throughout the animal kingdom bar just a few exceptions. Of course what I've written may indeed come across offensive but I genuinely guarantee to you that it was not written in any way out of malice, rather to paint you a picture of what is closest to the truth. With that being said this behaviour does not exist in a monolith there are always exceptions to the rule. If you're being truly honest with yourself, do you genuinely think that bringing your children into a new relationship is bonus. If so, then you have to question why it is that you'd go through the effort raise the point of having children when you're dating. Essentially you're saying " I have children and that is what you're in for if you continue to pursue this relationship with me." How many men do you think would be overwhelmed with joy if after say 2 weeks or so of dating you decide to bring him around to your home where you spring your children on him without mentioning them in the first few weeks of dating?
@@BigPMaher I kind of lose respect for men raising another man’s kids (in instances where they marry a woman previously divorced AND the man has no children of his own). He’s basically saying he has low SMV and thinks so little of himself. Completely c|_|cked. He thinks so little of himself that he can’t get with a single normal woman. Like holy shit man. How hard is it to find someone normal these days lol. Not supreme. Just normal. Not someone that spent their entire 20s travelling and taking selfie’s and drinking.
I have to say you're the one of the most honest MGTOW channels. You take into account our own faults; which we need to keep in mind. All issues we face as men are not to sole fault of women, but they are a combination of our choices and the actions of others. We decide who we let in our lives and how we respond to another's actions. We have a part in determining the terms of any relationship by what we are willing to accept from the other person.
I think it's possible to have a good relationship after 30. Everything said in this video is true, you just don't take any shit anymore because you know yourself very well, but I think you can also play this to your advantage and be vrey straightforward with every person you meet. This makes you go trough different people very quickly in comparisson to your teens or twenties. You no longer have to spent months to see if something will work, you can be quite sure after a couple of weeks or one month at the max. Sure you wont feel like you're a teenager in love, but that is - as glorious as it is - a flimsy feeling at it's best. It's extremely fragile. After 30 you have more control over yourself and therefore you can gather all the information you have and decide more rationally. Having said all that, honesty to yourself and your partner is the most valuable out of everything and should be the only way of communication.
@@bmaria4593 Yeah, I would agree. I do find it way more beneficial to just find someone who accepts you as you are and you them. By this I don't mean a completely different person but something in between you and them. I always grew the most (or at least felt like I did) in those types of relationships.
You write well but I think you missed the point, the thing is: why have a relationship after 30? When you're young, relationship, as human said, is "home", you build your personality with it, in it. You have a project of life, a purpose (work together, have child, buy a house, till death). Plus, you have hormones making you desire the other person and you can pair bond with. After 30, you don't have nothing of these things, and all the most important things of your life that you've built, was built by yourself alone, your personality (awesome and tough experiences) wasn't built with another person. Look at the behaviour of monogamous animals like birds, they all build their life together from an young age. Not only you don't have the same hormones but you know that relationship is nothing magical, is hard work and women today isn't worth it at all. Peace and freedom sounds more, much more interesting.
@@suryamaghasimha6912 i see. Yes, you may be right in the point of “why even have a relationship”. It’s definitely true that most of the women are not really worth your peace and some people would gladly trade off a relationship for their own peace. Where I would disagree though, would be that you have built yourself on your own. I believe we build ourselves off of the relationships we have and the experiences we live trough. Those things do not exist in a vacuum but are rather social moments where your actions and later your review of them define you as a person. So I think if you know who you are, and so does the person you choose (after 30 lets say), you won’t be compromising eachothers peace by choosing to be in a relationship because you value eachoter in one way or another.
Personally I think we have been lied to our whole lives. Both men and women expect something that doesn't exist. Unrealistic views of relationships from movies, books, and other media.
Years ago I had moved on from a relationship and found happiness. The ex thought that it was just a phase. Called to catch up (check in). I said, "This isn't the hallmark channel. When the guy walks away, he doesn't come running back as he realises that the woman is perfect - life isn't meant to mirror those romantic movies. It simply doesn't happen in real life." Sh*t you not, she screamed, "Yes it is!!! And yes it does!!! Why can't you see that!?!?"
i said the same thing just last nite.. how when we were young. We were told that we were to young to know what love is.. i now feel that being young is the only time that you can fall in love.. now way to many life experiences have put up so many conditions, that we cant trust anymore.
The marriage with the lowest rate of divorce is young and virgin, despite statistics being polluted by shotgun marriages due to unwanted pregnancy (if you remove these then the rate of success of young+virgin marriage is gigantic, clearly this is the way to go). People do a lot of stupid things when they're young but those who choose well are finding the love jackpot in life. I only know 4 happy couples who lasted long together, they all married young, one woman had her first kiss at 23 years old with her first boyfriend whom she married. Everybody else either divorced or are not happy together but for logistic reasons won't break up (don't want to go back to dating, have nowhere to go etc.)
My girlfriend and I are a year apart (30/31) but self preservation, honesty and authenticity is such a prevalent thing in how our relationship is conducted. How you're speaking is so very real in how relationships mature and being honest and upfront and both of us aren't afraid to walk out on the relationship if our needs aren't being met. Very different than the 20s, that's for sure.
@@AJLangford I have a female neighbour who is in her mid twenties and she turned lesbian. She had a boyfriend, they have a son who is living with her (poor little thing). Based on her behaviour I could guarantee that she fooked her boyfriend in the family court. Then she was living with her female partner for few months, fighting a lot, screaming at each other, throwing objects, and on the day when they split, things have been thrown through the window and police have been involved. And yes, they hate men.
@@moneyhooligan03 love and relationships aren't the same thing though. Relationships are transactional. Love is a chemical reaction causing a state of being, a perception. If you knew or at the very least recognize that one facilitates the other, you would've said something that makes sense. If you want a relationship to last you have to keep up your end of the bargain and that goes for both sides. The issue today is honestly that men and women are lied to about what a relationship is or entails. If somebody doesn't bring in anything or even keep up their end, it begs the question of why are you in my life or why am I in yours?
The only time in my life I was connected to other people was in my teens. I am 34 now, and I have had few acquaintances, One gf in my early 20s, and since my 30s began been really alone. As a straight man, you look at every woman from a sexual lense, but I have the wisdom to know that it is mostly a trap. Like I think to myself, " will she really ever know me? Will she ever really like me for who I am? " Even with men, as an adult I have had a hard time making friends, and it seems like I am going to be alone. I have found that exercise, reading, and meditating have given me joy. I even began playing guitar. Its like im a puzzle piece but I just cannot see where my place is in the world.
36 and never looked back. Divorce was a gift and life is now peaceful and quiet. Job I like, house I love and a dog who is always happy to see me. No interest in making room in my life for a woman, other than the occasional fling. Looking forward to the back 9 of my life. It really is just getting to the good part.
Same here. Got my two cats. Got my kid who lives with me half the time. My business is growing. I live inna great place. I drive freely. I have a few good friends. That’s all I need. My life is NOT better with a relationshup
My wife passed away and it's a lot harder to care about other people the same as her. It feels like I will never get that full love feeling again. I hate knowing what I am missing in life.
I just turned 25 and basically what I’m gettin is, if I’m gonna have a genuine relationship when I get older, I better be one of the few lucky ones to run into then now, and if not I might as well forget about it and focus solely on a higher purpose
So true, man. You say "after 30", but I'm 28, barely have any dating experience and already don't care much about long-term romantic relationships. Some people run this hamster wheel longer than others, but the more comfortable and honest you can be about your own life, the more you realize there are just no reasons to continue running anymore. Just want to sit still, enjoy the peace and quiet you've made for yourself and... I guess, simply ignore those younger people who are eager to spin the wheel. Sometimes they shout how you should join them and wonder why you don't. But you know, long term relationship is an arduous work and I don't really need a second job, gee thanks.
Can relate, same age. But don't forget your homornes nor sexual drive is as strong as it used to be. Your energy levels too aren't so high, and you aren't so fine with waisting your time. Kinda sad from some point that "us" haven't lived out properly "those" years and that drive. In some sorts it gives and takes, but you will never be able to experience them again like you should.
I'm 26 and my thirties are right around the corner for me. It's very comforting to know that sexual relationships become less of a psychological burden when you enter that decade of your life, especially by the mid-thirties for men since their hormones start to settle down. Love is nothing more than a delusion that compels you to breed.
Don’t even need to wait for your hormones to chill the fuck down, get a sex doll or at least a flesh light and make a whole experience out of it. You can still get a pretty nice sexual release without a woman involved, you’ll be ahead of what will be the norm
30s are way better than your 20s mate you're coming into the prime of your life. Same energy as your 20s but a decades worth more of experience and maturity, you're unstoppable in this decade and you will crush it with all the advice you're consuming now! I wish I came across this stuff earlier haha 🙂🙂
The drive can still be an issue from time to time. The big difference is that you can understand the dangers of "dating", so the urge to actually go out looking is easier to put down.
@@lincolnfogarty3961 I disagree about having more energy in your 30s vs. your 20s. When I was in my 20s, I could work 14-16 hour days consistently, without any issues. I could also eat whatever I wanted and get away with it (due to a faster metabolism). Now, as a man in his 30's, my body can't handle that lifestyle anymore. That being said, I agree that you, as a 30+ year-old man, have a lot more maturity, experience, intelligence, and focus (assuming you aren't encumbered by family obligations) than a man in his 20s. An older man's focus, experience, and maturity can compensate for his drop in energy levels.
In my 40's, the best thing I did when I thought about getting serious with a particular woman (after having gone through a divorce with children) was to ask her specific questions about what she believed. This was to see if they matched my most closely held beliefs. I didn't tell her what I believed but instead just asked open ended questions. The first woman took offense, got up and left. I was fine with that. It wasn't meant to be. The second didn't get offended, spoke honestly back and we've now been married over 12 years. She is my best friend and we haven't had the first real argument. I enjoy hanging out with her more than anything I can think of.
Its crazy. To see life after being awakened. I see friends that are married and you can just see right thru it. The facade, the display, the theatrics. Even more when it's on social media for everyone to see. LOOK AT US! We are the prime example of a good relationship when in reality, one of em wants out. Or some may even feel stuck. Or never want to be alone. It's nice to feel wanted but knowing its just temporary, a sacrifice of your sanctity and sanity. Your vids really hits it on the head. Being in my 30s, I just wanna be left the fuck alone really. I have my problems to deal with, like what I wanna make for dinner compared to what your crazy family are doing or work drama. Awesome vid as always. Cheers from the US!
I feel exactly the same. Almost hitting 30, I am done with the drama and the expectations from society. I'd rather get shot in both knees than having to sit through another long 'family dinner' with her crazy parents.
Totally agree. I've slammed into the "just leave me the F alone" wall. I do what I want, when I want, every single day without having to deal with anyone else's agenda. Total freedom.
Right on! Wait till you hit your 40's-you'll care even less if you can believe it. And to your point, most of these relationships you see portrayed on social media are rife with problems, infidelity and tons of stress. I know many in my own circle that are like this but if you look at their social media, they look like this perfect little family. It's a beautiful lie. I also mainly want to be left alone-why is that so much to ask these days? Not even from women but from society as well. I'm not bothering or hurting anyone and only ask for the same in return. Literally asking people to do nothing, and they can't even oblige that.
@@markt2398 why I don't have social media. Besides family, some are outside US, I only have is an app to communicate. And I rarely us it honestly. But I don't miss that shit. Good luck to everyone on here. I hope that you all continue to grow, gain wealth, gain knowledge and enjoy the time we have on this world. You damn right ima be stress free and try to keep my hair from falling out!
@@markt2398 check out a video by Blackram313 called shadow living part 5... its a great video for men who want to be left alone by everyone and just do their own thing.
You have verbalised my thoughts and naturally responsive actions. In the last 8 years every relationship I have left and I have left them all. I have said the same thing to myself.... “I want my life back” Thanks again for your time huMAN
As you get older, interest in sex declines, and the willingness to compromise or make sacrifices declines. Lots of men and women over 35 are single and generally happy and fearful of the responsibilities of being married.
Do certain sex positions get horrible charlie horse there goes the excitement. The older I got the less sex made me connect to person, and more I needed emotional intimacy.
It's scary how accurately this dude described me. I just turned 30, and I keep getting hit up by women... but I give absolutely no shits. If only it was that easy in my 20's... it's sad really.
It’s funny when I hear guys still tell me I just haven’t found the one yet. It’s like trying to explain to them that you’ve been on the roller coaster ride a million times and each time it has been the same but they keep telling you it will be amazingly different with one more try.
shes not yours its just your turn - lost a few mates even with that one . that will red pill em - when it hits em they will immediatlely say. "What does that mean" reply by saying "The first thing that popped into your head when i said it"
@@elyasshussain5988 gotta be real man. I’m almost a 40 year old virgin. Sure I still get sexual thoughts and if I wasn’t drinking, still get morning wood, not to sound gross, however the realer you are the more people will look at you like you weird. I got few friends these days. I like it that way too. Too many people and too many problems to deal with. I don’t have the patience. Women, why can’t you be friendly??
After so many trials and failures I simply am just exhausted. Tired of trying to get women to validate me tired of trying to impress women. If it's not one thing it's another . One women says I'm handsome but I'm too broke , the other says it's not about the money but I'm not emotionally mature for her, the other says that I'm too much for her what ever that means. There's just no pleasing them not unless you have it all and even then. And wtf am I chasing and hoping for? To become addicted to female attention and validation? To spend all my life providing and protecting her ? Just to get a pat on the head! Fuck off! If my feelings and heart don't mean shit to them, then what good are they for me? Would they stick through the storm with me? Hell no, yet I would cherish her lol. It's over I'm done an Denver looking back , knowing what I know now, how can I ever look back lol, I truly loved but was rejected for not being good enough. I'm happy I was rejected why the hell would I become a slave willingly to a female . Fuck off!
I think you’re chasing and hoping for your equal. It will happen if you allow it to. operative word allow... Sometimes things will come to us or we will find them when we stop looking for them so hard and constantly. Give yourself a chance to hang out with yourself while also giving yourself many accolades for all the wonderful things that you are and do. Somewhere along the line you will find someone who thinks you are just as wonderful as you know you are. These things just take time. Allow yourself the time💕
Go monk for a little while. Find yourself-center, better yourself, and be happy with you. Don't even think about a woman or the fairytale of happily ever after. A woman is a compliment to you, not your focus
@@Anonymous-md2qp tbh it just popped up on my feed don't know why because I'm not subscribed, just about at least 98% of what I watch on RUclips is game related and the other is parodies. The reason I watched and not all the way to the end is because like you I was curious.
Ironically, the more stable I become, the less I'm willing to compromise that stability for another person. Long-term prospects need to have all their ducks in a row (good ethics, no debt they expect me to handle, no bills they expect me to pay, and be mature). The problem is that most people I'm interested in are not in that category or are likewise so self-sufficient that they don't need my life in theirs. As you've said, the world is more interesting now; the internet has given people the ability to create side-businesses out of their passions and access new and interesting ideas about how to live your life. 50 years ago, you got married because what else was there to do? Now, in the age of easy travel, online hookup apps, and a population that's in no real danger of depleting, is there any reason to get married?
when I look at my highschool classmates, those who got married young and became single mothers young. It worked for the older generation because divorce was not an option
@@jueshihuanggua3162 Exactly this. Just look at videos of people asking older couples how they lasted so long together, same response usually, if anything broke they had to find ways to fix it. People nowadays don't have the patience or even a good enough attention span to grasp this, and potentially come from a single parent household that neither reflected the mentality of "staying and fixing things", nor did that single parent teach them that notion. Plus with the law favouring females in divorce and encouragement from society to never accept anything less than "perfect" to me it's no wonder relationships are shallow at best and never last, there's just no incentive.
@@Firealchemist24 plus people nowadays think a relationship should make them "happy", but a marriage is just work really, a lot of work. sometimes the couple work it out and find true meaning and love in it, but not always, sometimes it's just a lot of anger and heartbreaks
@TheLateLateLateShow I was blind to this in my early 20's -- had a chance with a good girl, and I just shrugged it off; this is what the majority experience or something similar
A masterpiece of a message. I think that in a way, many of us in our 30's,40's,& even 50's are disillusioned by the fact that we are so much healthier than our parents,& grandparents were when they were in midlife. Let's face it...when we were kids people past the age of 40 carried themselves differently. The LITERALLY acted older. A grandmother today wears leggins, goes to the gym,& gets hit on by men nearly half her age. The tv commercials bombard us with "how to look& feel" like we are 25 again. At some point we realize that no matter how fit we may feel, or young we may look, that we can't cheat the natural order of growing old.
My last relationship ended 5 years ago. I'm 31 now. What's changed? I've realized there's no point in dating. There's no point in involving myself with a woman on a serious level. There's just no point...
Turning 30 in a week... You're absolutely right about relationships not feeling like home anymore. Only one woman made it feel like home and we bonded when very young (19-20).
Thank you - wow. You hit the mark. I happened to meet a woman when I was 35 and she was 40. We had met in the military on no less than 20 occasions between 1970-85. We never lived in the same city. I happened to 'bump' into her in 1991 after moving to the city where I now live and fell hard for her. Shortly after that, I was deployed in "Operation Desert Storm". I returned after 3 months and whatever we might have had before vanished. We dated briefly 12 years later ... and nuthin'. I was 'driving with the brake on' and she was not amused by me a'tall. I still love her. We aren't together. Today, I am 65 and she is 70. I have financial difficulties and she is surrounded by many admirers and family. 'Oh well'. Thanks for the frank discussion of subconscious realities.
yeah and your response shows your young mind.. you will eventually get it. Or if not you are one of the "lucky" ones. But lets see in 20 years when you are more mature and experienced in the life of dating.
Re: "No longer feels like home", that's true whether you've spent your 20s and 30s in a stable relationship or not. The counterpoint to the largely single life is those who've surfed through a bunch of broken relationships are so scarred, "feeling like home" is kind of a mythical concept. You don't expect anyone to "complete you" anymore, because you realize people are independent creatures and they'll let you down. You can enjoy someone's company, but it's never going to "feel like home" like it did when you lost yourself in someone when you were young and naive.
@@mariobros7834 It puts you in a very vulnerable place. I created a false reality around a woman that was like an alternative universe. It was the most beautiful world you could imagine. The real world faded in her presence. It was just me and her. I won't lie, it is simply the most wonderful drug there is. Until the bubble pops and that world you got lost in vanishes. It's been 8 years and I haven't fully recovered from getting lost in it. I'm not the same person anymore. I was cynical before, but my cynicism now is absolutely toxic. I'm a hard person to be around. So in summary, never losing yourself is like saying you've never tried heroin or crack. You may never experience that high, and most addicts will tell you yeah its grand but trust me you don't want to.
I’m 36 now and I’ve spent the last 5 years completely changing my career course. I’ve made 4 job leaps, with income that’s varied from beyond my prior peak to barely scraping by. It’s taught me a lot - about who I am, what creature comforts matter to me vs how austerely I can live, what my priorities are in working. The past year, in particular, has opened my eyes at a numinous level... and there’s absolutely no way I could have experienced any of it with a wife, especially not with children. I am quantifiably better off single and there’s simply nothing a woman can offer me that competes.
If you aren’t happy while being single then you need to fix some other issues. A woman won’t make your life better, they usually bring more stress and responsibility.
This hit a note with me, men age like wine and women like milk l hear often! Well a decent looking couger will get a younger guy and he will happily use her as target practice ! An older guy will maybe get a twenty year old and she will use him as a piggy bank. It's rather messed up but it seems to be the reality of the game of life.
No one said they did darling. Please read what the man wrote before commenting. He said they age like wine. Men my not get better looking, god know women sure as hell don’t, but they certainly become more attractive to women. Hypergamy is feature of women not a defect.
@@garbonomics I would definitely prefer a 40 year old financially comfortable man to a rich 60 year old. Hypergamy is to date/marry up. It doesn’t make old men appealing.
Lol look at what you said in your writing, “I prefer a financially comfortable man”. That’s exactly the point. And the vast majority of 60 year old men aren’t looking for wives and girlfriends for obvious reasons.
"He who lives to see two or three generations is like a man who sits some time in the conjurer's booth at a fair, and witnesses the performance twice or thrice in succession. The tricks were meant to be seen only once; and when they are no longer a novelty and cease to deceive, their effect is gone. " -Schopenhauer, Studies in Pessimism
Excellent content.. I've been there and burnt my hands, lost my sleep due to failed commitments, intimacy is a luxury option if it comes at the right price. Can't roll the dice anymore for anyone.. it isn't worth it.
I'm 36, up until 35 if I ever had a girlfriend I always wanted to be single, if I was single I was always on the radar for another girl. Now is the first time in my life I'm single, the radar is switched off and the thought of any kind of relationship makes me feel as if my soul is about to die. It's a strange feeling but geez it's peaceful. The athlete analogy is spot on, dating is a young man's game and I'm happily retired.
Being 28, with my 30s quickly approaching..its almost a relief to know that it'll smooth out in some form or fashion, the intolerable annoyance i get with just talking to females has been enough to turn me off of any sort of relationship with them, it reached its peak after my ex cheated. I've tried dating, im still attracted to women, but thats as far as it goes. Thanks man appreciate your words 🙏 tahn-seh
And understand that the woman who cheated on you was full of her own ego and yearning to be desired & lacked self respect. Nothing to do with you, though humans can self blame.
I'm 44 now and they are running after me like crazy. Of course I have a good job, I'm tall (6"3) and handsome. Guess what? I don't deal with mindgames anymore. I'm a mgtow for years.
I have a bunch of intrest too and I’m like??? Not sure because I’m so over toxic mind games and shallow or people that use me for looks or status. Now they can’t use me as my dad doesn’t own a company anymroe!
I am 68 now, and picked up the friendship with one of my school girlfriends. We both have a past - evidently - but that's okay: what counts is shared interests, and an occasional hug. And knowing one of us will be lucky to hold a hand when he or she passes away...
The most difficult language to speak is the language of truth.... truth is bitter... honesty is the best policy, it gives you peace of mind...huge respect for you man.... regards from india.....
I’m on my mid 30’s and having a long term relationship isn’t anymore on my plans. I feel like you described, that it’s just not for me anymore, getting to know somebody, go out and listen to all that useless information that a woman could give me about herself, having a walk holding hands, I can’t help but cringe only thinking about it. As older as I get, the more I value a peaceful and quiet day to day. It’s pointless doing anything apart from hooking up and leaving to sleep on my own bed by myself, listening to my dog snore on her bed
I’m 54 now, divorced 5 years ago & been living by myself ever since. I’m so set in my ways now, that I don’t think a woman can really bring anything to my life. I’m prepared to live by myself till I die & I’m fine with that.
Man, this hit home. You are 100% correct on all points when your older and relationships. I had a relationship with a gal about ten years my junior a few years back, I was 42 and I wasn't honest with myself or her. It ended after a year and a half. I realized, I'm set in my ways and I like my life the way it is. I'm not going to give it up or change it. I needed to hear this. This is just a fantastic channel my friend.
As a 33 year old, almost 34. This hit home hard. I have avoided dating for 5 years and discovered a lot about myself as well how humans, particularly females, create a whole artificial game in which we are born to play, but don't have to. I recently started dating a 29yo girl who is a perfect mental match to me, we have near similar interests, though she had excess fun in her youth, which has probably left her unable to pair bond, and was raised a traveler, moving every 6 months, the only reason she has stuck around is because she got in a car accident. It is a total vacation from normality, she motivates me to work harder only so I can funnel my free time into her. Everything you say is true, I started the relation with mature language, explained she won't like me in a few months once the honeymoon wore off, and even try and discuss tactics with her to amplify our sex life verses just go at it willy nilly. She keeps saying she wants me until she is 80, but in my head I know that is probably more like 8 weeks. I would love to find one who can climb to higher levels of potential with me, and have children to enjoy late in life, but in this Era the prospects of that happening are almost zero, especially for those who have been taking in information from black red pill and MG tow. It's akin to learning about the dangers of existence in space, but still trying to build a rocket ship that will probably blow up on the way there anyway.
Got to say mate you're spot on with everything you said, I'm a 52 year old bloke ,single with two adult daughters that live with me and in my experience every single time I'm not honest with myself or someone I'm trying to see it just turns to crap, so I've decided and very successfully to just be happy in my own skin and enjoy what life at this stage in my life as to offer by myself.
As a man, I've always felt a powerful urge to provide for my family. I did so for 25 years and have no regrets when it comes to my three children. What tore me down was the abusive, even spiteful spending by my partner while I was forced into celibacy and servitude. I was the money machine that was expected to give endlessly and never expect anything in return. This trend continued after my divorce, but there were no kids involved. I was again expected to give endlessly and never expect to be granted permission to chase my own wants and desires. I see the common denominator here (me), and I take full responsibility for it. There is no valor in sustaining abuse. You get no medal when it all comes crashing down. You're left with nothing but the mess to clean up. I have finally learned the single lesson I wish I would have learned decades ago... Establish healthy boundaries early on and protect them at all costs, even and especially if it ends the relationship. The advice from huMAN about speaking your honest truth is HOW you establish these healthy boundaries. Make this your daily mantra.
I detest men like you. Your type i.e. betabux providers and spineless simps who inflate women's ego tenfold and make men seem as disposable workhorses in doing so. You were not expected to provide anything. You chose to do so because you think with your little head instead of the big one. There wouldn't be a misandrist culture in the US and a worldwide expectation for men to provide and sacrifice if men like you didn't exist. The problem is not somewhere out there, an evil feminist wife or court. It is you!
The realest point in this to me was the idea that when dating older, people are playing “make-believe” so as to feel what they felt when they were younger. I’m gonna lose some here, but IMO that’s one of the unstated reasons we were/are taught as younger people not to rush into sex/relationships and wait until we are “ready”. I truly think if we could explain this former point as the “why” to young people, they could understand. But the dilemma with this becomes: how many of could really explain it effectively if we did not do it ourselves? I mean, how many of us even have the clarity to even realize that’s what we’re doing?
This is so spot on, it’s scary. These days, dating is already tough as it is, but, after the red pill, the mere THOUGHT of getting back out there makes me tired. Dating is definitely for the young and not yet broken.
Esoteric is the appropriate and defining word. A simple conversation with most people will illustrate how defind we have become in our views and interests. As we struggle to discover similar interests to discuss and witness the lack of patience by ourselves and others we discover that short exchanges are the norm; lacking depth and satisfaction. We have created our own parameters, rejecting intrusions which are viewed as annoying distractions. We don't seek individual validation through social expectations. Attaching yourself to a woman invites her innate set of behaviors into your life; hobbling the freedom of personal choice by necessitating illegitimate compromises ( a woman's calling card). If solitude, age and health issues are the concern panic buttons with links to police and medical services are more practical, less frustrating and less expensive.
The civil war that was my heart and my mind finally concluded in my 30's. My mind had amassed a great army of resources and troops (life experience, evidence) so much so that even my heart's greatest generals ( denial, idealism, hope) could no longer see a path to victory and were forced to surrender. I have gone through my stages of grief, and what's left of my heart is there to keep me alive, no more, no less. For it knows it faces the threat of mutually assured destruction.
@@Takeru9292 The mind won, the heart was forced to surrender amongst the overwhelming odds. The red pill was just too strong, the blue pill was backed against the wall, and the purple pill was seen for the double agent it truly was.
Social engineering, destroyed the western family unit,and the world will never recover, as people are so comfortable, it won't be comfortable for future generations....
As a 33 yo male...i have been working on myself and working hard in my own company. As long as i can remember starting in school women never seemed to like me...i didnt even got any smiles (im not bad looking at all) So finally i just gave up and now at 33 i really have been checked out of the dating market...in fact i did not even try to start any relationships due to womens attitudes...i cant explain it...its like men are automaticlly not worth much. So now with almost no women expereences im not even sure if i even wntnto try again...she better come up with a hell of a reason...
I am 29 yo fécale and never dates before , bcz we are muslims and not allowed to date men, I feel down on myself , if women doesn't care about you it is not your fault , just be confident , you are 33yo and so young , start talking to girls until you find your soulmate, ever care about your age , learn how to start a conversation and be a gentelman , level up and you will see the difference Best of luck
By far, you have the most common sense answer to this. I always felt the other channels who say "men are winning by walking away" or "women will regret this" are incorrect. I am in my late 30's now and have no interest in the BS of a relationship because it will never be amazing like it was in my 20's. I have accepted my fate of dreaming of the good ole days and enjoying my single life (after experiencing a bad relationship of course)
100% correct. Usually even when kids are 18-20, they're not independent, will be around and a large focus of a single father or single mother, who are now at least 40. Living together means limited time for each other because of that. It means blending families, big challenge. Nobody wants to risk the assett of the home if they move in together either. And all of this only if they enter a relationship. More likely people just keep their own place, it's their comfort zone. Unless they're struggling to pay their rent or payments, very unlikely to try and move in with someone. Relationship at that age is really fwb, because you've gave your best a long time ago. You can care about and support each other, ease loneliness. Sex ok, not great, not passionate. Spend the night in a cleaner nicer bed and bedroom, enjoy some better food than your own, appreciate that.. but go home, coz you're not wasting too much time there.
People these days just chase the illusion of a relationship - the image of what looks like a relationship from the outside. Men and women are independent and like you explained really well, people just don't NEED each other anymore. The appearance of a relationship in it's classic sense came as a byproduct of two people DEPENDING in each other. That doesn't happen anymore and much of it is just pleasure based. And we all know how long pleasure lasts for. Great video!
One of the most freedom-oriented epiphanies I've had as I've aged was the realization that I don't have to impress anyone. I have nothing to prove to anyone other than myself. I like being boring because it's the freedom to find contentment within my own interests. Women can take me or leave me -- I don't care.
So I met my wife in my early 20's, and I loved her to the end. She died at age 40, after being diagnosed with stage 4 breasts cancer out of the blue at age 39. I did everything I could to keep her alive, and would have loved to spend her remaining lives with her. But life doesn't work that way. We had a 5 year old son, now 7. But lots of pressure to meet someone to help raise him. What should I do?
I am one of your 'older' viewers and you are spot on. It just doesn't matter to me to be in a relationship any longer. It's so much nicer to be stress free and free to do as I wish. I was married 10 years and I was miserable for most of it. Never again. Men need to realize how valuable their time is. Being a slave and / or putting up with a woman just is not worth it.
Absolutely correct. I have been single now for 25 years. My experiences from the past tell me that women want to control me and at this point in my life I don't want to have to ask a wife's permission to go hang out with a friend. I can cook, clean, and honestly I never feel lonely. I have many hobbies that I really enjoy and see friends on occasion. I am not willing to add an "element of chaos to my life".
Whoever broke this dudes heart created an unstoppable monster of wisdom
Not wisdom, just bitterness. We have all had our hearts broken.. we choose how to move on from that. My point is dont be afraid.. Throw everything you have to life.. problem is we have preconceived notions about everything. And many of us are selfish. 50 50 ❤
I dont smell a whiff of bitterness. Look at him, he looks healthy, glowy, mature, reasonable, talks about what i see everyday around me. If he were bitter, he wont glow, he wont look healthy. He is on his journey to explore every neuron and techron running thru his body.
Bitterness is like a cancer. My best wishes for this soul. We werent just born to 9 am to 5 pm facade, go to a bar, pick up women, brag about work/ status.... Thats like forced required shitting. He is not on another level but a dimension that is only avhievable by those who work on themselves continuosly.
@@suzanneneil4309 hi, Karen, enjoy your cats ;)
@@patcoleman8606 lol I'm definitely no Karen.. And I enjoy a hell if a lot more than just cats. :)
@@rourou95822 yeah , na, I don't see the glow lol.. he looks miserable .. but hey we are all here on a journey and my best wishes to all . :)
I've found that older women don't really want someone, they just don't want to be alone.
They want the slave to be around to lift stuff and resources
No, they still want and need social interaction. Most often they find this most satisfying with other ladies, though.
@Sam L No, they also want them for killing spiders. :oD
@@nathan2813 "Most often they find this most satisfying with other ladies, though."
No, they don't. It's just all they can get when they're old and refused to learn from their past mistakes and accept the reality that in order for a man to grow old with them, they MUST play their role as women to balance his role as the man.
Instead, they want it all, and they're miserable. Shocker.
@@Larry_Sycamore In opposing what I said: that older women find social interaction most satisfying with other ladies, you're contradicting your own argument. That is, that women prefer the company of men but can't get it because they refuse to be subservient to them.
If the company of men was so satisfying to them and being subservient to them was required to have it, they'd happily do it.
That they don't and instead spend their free time with ladies demonstrates they don't find the company of men as rewarding as spending it with their lady friends.
I don't make enough money to afford "love".
When your a poor bastard she doesn’t even look your way!
This comment is more true than I am probably willing to admit.
You sound like Jack Reacher.
@palerider957 oddly true not all but a lot.
Love has a price. If you don't have enough to impress her and fill her head with imaginations of the future,she can't love you. If that's all love is,a transaction,then I don't want it.
Im 27 and im starting to feel this.
All my friends keep trying to push me to settle down, but honestly, the modern woman just isn't appealing anymore.
Why not?
@@vanessak7069 Entitlement complexes, Lack of morals/values/integrity, political or religious differences. A lot are single mothers. Some are independent and aren't actually looking for a partner. So the amount of actual single high quality women available is miniscule, and of those women, they are all looking for 9s or 10s. So the prospect of actually finding a partner is pretty much improbable.
What people think they deserve doesn’t usually match what they realistically bring to the table.
Agreed
@@Cryolyptic I think the same, couldn't have put it better.
42 and solo. At this point I see train wrecks all around me, while I can go back home and play guitar, drink whiskey, read books, listen to the blues and jazz, ponder about life. Sleep peacefully. Enjoy my quiet.
I love it and I won't give it up.
Thats the life , i do exactly the same thing !!
Same here, bro. It's a lovely existence.
Lol me too bud. 42 single and have my own house. Ill never go back
amen.. same here
So, at 55 and divorced now for three years, after a twenty five year marriage, I'm learning I love being alone. Maybe not so much being alone, but being and doing me. I answer to no one and am not accountable to anyone. The independence is quite refreshing!
As a single 34 year old child free man. I just don't care. I gave up on love years ago. I'm happy alone
Same here bro ☺️!
Stay happy gentlemen.
RIP Skyking
@@CalTN he lives in our hearts forever
But why? Don t you love yourself anymore?
My hubby and I were in our late 30's when we met.....but our life experiences did not take away our love for adventure and we were still ready for new things and we did....23 years later and 2 kids....many travels and adventures later together....and we are still loving life and experiences. So, no....I think there is always space to grow and change with another.....no matter your age.
This gives me some hope
They say humans, on average, used to die in their mid to late 30s.
They still do.
uffff bro
That's deep
As a 31 year old man newly single for the first time since 18 years old, this hurts.
@@OrdnanceTV Think of it this way: You've proven to yourself and the world that you are capable of long term dedication. You're also not a complete sewer tank if somebody at least tolerated (probably loved, but I'll stick to the facts) you for 13 years and you probably have learned a thing or two about how to run a relationship and how to accommodate two individuals together.
There's an entire subgroup of women couple of years younger than you, feeling the engagement pressure of looming 30's. As known by hard statistics they prefer a bit older men, you'd make a good catch for someone! For many women(and the actually worthwhile kind with morale and virtuous values) appreciate a guy that hasn't been running around on a bomb run of body count, but rather have devoted to a relationship. It could be established that your experience and history of choice puts you above par in the so called "markets".
You can compound perceptions in many ways while remaining just as correct or incorrect. Meaning, you can see one and same reality in many colours ranging from positive to negative without the reality being any more or less negative or positive; for these are limited assessments we as humans give to the Reality, which itself is neutral by nature and absolutely indifferent to our interpretation of it.
I expect success to befall upon you, but good luck nevertheless my friend.
I alrealy feel dead at 20
This is the most honest relationship talk I've heard in a long time. It's not just women, it's not just men. Its the whole.
Well, there’s always the option to switch teams! Its never too late. 😉
@Balder Shining what? Life is about constant growth. I love what he said in this video. I've been doing self development work for about 4 years and moreso the last year but actually growth oriented since I was 18. Married twice. Actually good teamwork. The negativity you imprint into your brain will keep repeating with time. It's how people arrive in fear instead of working towards fearless love. blame your caregivers between age 0-6 and any anxious avoidant traps you entangled yourself in over The years because you didn't do the work people. The really wonderful part about this is my best future has already begun. Dating is fun and what everyone wants. Men think they want just sex because they haven't rewired their programming for emotions. They actually want that little bit of intimacy afterwards and to make a woman happy. Relationships can be a beautiful thing. I'm 52. spent my life so healthfully in every way I could and I encourage you all to change your ways . We attract what we are not what we want. I am attracting all the men who've done the work. Life is good!
Yeah same here
I was wondering why dating was starting to lose its luster for me
💯💯
Too much obsession with Materialism ,social validation and attention Destroyed everything ...
So so true!
Humanity has a natural talent for disaster.
💯
The best relationships are in third world counties where validation and materialistic views have not seeped into the people’s conscience, yet.
My 1st wife was kind enough not to divorce me until 3 months after I made the last mortgage payment. Having a son and a good lawyer she took everything that I worked 7 days a week to pay for. Hindsight - The best thing I ever did was to agree with everything she asked for this caught her by surprise & made the divorce much easier plus turned her into a part time lover years later. But the most important thing was we had a son & by giving her the home my son always had a place he called home. This helped him excel in school & life in general .
I’m 44, single woman and I’ve never been married. I’m loving my life.
hell yes. the peace and quite and no bickering and complaining all day long.. who would miss that
Same at 47
R u a virgin?
@@samosa9488 R u projecting?
Right behind you
Relationships in this age seem so mechanical. How much money the man makes vs how attractive the woman is. It's purely a spiritless exchange of assets, materialistic lust pit against lust of the flesh. A strange and wasteful use of energy. I suppose true joyful, not material based relationships may still exist, however incredibly rare.
I wasted so much of my life trying to find someone to settle down and start a family with. I'm turning 40 this month and I'm going to live for me and my animals.
Amen brother. Amen. I got my dogs. I got my ps4 and soon to have PS5. I got my mortal kombat online record to keep. Been a kombatant since 1993.
I got my weed. I’ll drop acid whehever I can find it and then peacefully watch Star Trek reruns. Also, pizza to go!!
@@Filthy_Larry I would kill for some weed right about now.
@@amanofnoreputation2164 also, can’t I as a man say I’m a little bitter and disgusted how life turned out without being labeled an incel who will shoot people?
@@Filthy_Larry The answer of course is "No". Not that it matters.
As long as one has an occupation that is in demand and creates wealth, one can rub questions regarding being an incel right back into the faces of those that ask it.
My response was often. "If had a job as worthless as yours, I too would have time to date."
@@tailgunner2 I don’t have wealth. I’m a warehouse worker and fucked my life up. Not a criminal or felon though. Just a fuck up.
No, the last relationship I was in did not seem like a vacation AT ALL! but a tour of duty.
I lost my sense of duty
@NibiruLives A full beer salute from me
Lol. Duty indeed is some women’s enlistment requirement.
@Hans Grubers Goatee There was a time when I did not see it. It struck deeply to me too. I think many aspects of it still does & probably always will so long as there is imbalance
Like most men, I showed up to serve & protect modern woman in tune with my nature.
The realizations all visiting me seemingly @ once. It sent me into a bit of an existential crisis for a while.
But I am grateful, if it had not of struck deeply them maybe I might not of ever made some changes.
Anyone who can come up with such a distinguished handle I think has it well with in them to get beyond it.
If it is hell that I am faced with, then I much rather have a heads up on the depths of it that try to negate it alone & unknowing.
I hear that one!
Almost the same. My last marriage was like a tour of duty. My vacation has been found in my aloneness. I'm out the game and coaching from the sidelines.
At 30, I'm fit, active, have a good job, and am in my physical prime. I actually think I still haven't reached my prime yet, physically or mentally. I get interested looks after interested looks from women. But after walking away from 2 serious relationships in my 20's for various reasons (and being damn glad I escaped with my sanity), I've gotten so picky it seems almost imperceptible to find a real "match" in compatibility. I've melded myself as an individual to the point where there is no hope for lock & key compatibility anymore.
I see men straddled by women into soul-sucking relationships, and they've really done it to themselves - you can't blame woman for being who/what they are. So many men barely even retain their masculinity anymore. You see their perfect little family posts on social media, and then find out one of them is cheating. As a musician, I've played for many weddings, and more than half of those couples are now divorced (cheating, turning gay/bisexual, incompatibility, etc). I can hardly even gather the motivation to talk to woman, not because of anxiety but because I know chances are I'll lose interest beyond sex when I see she has nothing else to offer in terms of companionship, support, or as a member of our "team" in life.
So instead I surf, swim, bike, travel, save money, and just live. Freedom, acceptance, and embrace of the fact that your are alone in this world is the only thing a man can ever really have. It's just you here gentleman, in this world, alone. There's nothing wrong with that. It's the complete freedom of realizing you have nothing to lose and never did. What else is there?
That’s the life. Good on you brother. You’re an inspiration
Greetings from Scotland. ..I'm 50 and you nailed it my friend...
@Meddlecat Haha spotted..bloody predictive txt grrrr
I’m a woman. And you nailed it.
Dude, are you calling women soul suckers ? Seems like a nasty generalization to me.
The wake-up call happened when I went to a bar at age 40. I became the old guy at the bar checking out the younger women like I still "had it". I only did it once. I've found a lot more peace with my books and records nowadays.
Me too, after 40 I lost my interest in dating. I have a long term relation with a woman. Gaming with my PC or reading is more fun than dating, definetely.
I guess 40 is a very sexy age for men! 40 is not old for men.
@@Julia-ej4jz IF you took good care of yourself
@@Julia-ej4jz I assure you, it is.
@@prunelicious7437 well some women like older guys. I am 41 but I look like I am early 30's and much younger women cheking me out. Even some of them who know my age also do that.
there is no losing
there is no winning
there's only the game
There is a growing number of men that have grown smart enough to not play it.
Beautifully put. I'm trying to get one of my younger friends to understand this philosophy.
there is winning, you have to play to win
@@jakubkrajewski8249 what would you consider some rules playing this game
@Pos dem Women change the rules of the game as they see fit. Why even bother?
I heard it put well, the more failed relationships you have the more deal breakers you collect so its nearly impossible when your older.
Marriage is like a Tornado: "In the beginning there's a lot of blowing and sucking, Then you lose your house".
Amen to that
😄😄😄😄
lmao nice
Hahaha
Facts
The only part I'm bitter about is that no one ever really wanted me. It was because I was always so quiet and introverted. I'm 35 now and have also given up. This guy is right about how the world becomes more interesting. I am putting everything into building my own house. Designing the outside and inside. Researching building code, construction science (as it's called), and just bought a 7 acre piece of land. It's an investment in inanimate objects. They may never love me, converse with me, or hold me tight, but they also won't ever leave me, betray me, or divorce me to take away half of my assets. It is lonely, but maybe that is just something we have to accept.
Don't give Up
I seriously felt this !!!! OMG !!! Wow
this is soo relatable..I think the main reason I am still single at 38 is because I am introvert and socially awkward person.
This comment is underrated. And so very true.
Roommates
I’m 51 and I haven’t dated in 14 years. I wouldn’t know how to go about it now. I can’t see it ever happening again, and I can’t even imagine myself ever being interested in anyone ever again. I’ll be single now until the end.
Are you saying just because you got older, you forgot how to relate with women?
I'm 36 and I don't do it either, but I'll never forget, keep it shallow and you'll do just fine.
@@truthseekingfreethinker5214 good question. When I was young I longed for marriage and a family and the whole concept of the happily ever after thing, until I realised that was all just a Walt Disney fairy tale. Sure I still notice an attractive woman when I see one but, I just have no desire to ever be with one again. And at my age, the old one nighter is a bit of by gone thing.
I know a 55 yr old moving mad in the office , better get involved buddy bitches are roasting for it right now
@@osirisofthesouth2853 maybe the point is that he doesn't want a bitch in his life...you can have them all to yourself..go get em tiger! Lol.
I am turning 37 in a month. I could see me where you are at 51. So far I don't miss the 'connection'. I don't think relationships provide anything, other than problems.
Personally, my life has become more fulfilling with hobbies. Music and art: both of which I never had time for before.
41 year old guy here. Next time anyone asks why I'm not married with kids, I'll kindly refer them to this video.
At my recent day job I’ve had three senior staff all ask me if I’m married or have kids. They’re in their 40s and I’m in my 30s. Lot of social programming to get on the same page.
It's because they are lost. I'm in a relationship and very happy but that was by complete luck. I'd never ask that question because I know a relationship with a woman is extremely hard. They ask because they want to hear how unhappy you are so that can feel better. And maybe they might ask a person who is unhappy but the ones that ask are unhappy too.
@@tamaradodgson3350 I needed to see your words. Thank-you for writing them. This guy sees profundity in lazy casual misogyny. Speaking straight to camera, in monochrome, confidently, with a soundtrack is effective communication. But the simmering hatred lurks close beneath the surface.
Tamara Dodgson hate to have to tell you... but your children are baggage - I'm sure most men would agree. In fact there aren't too many men out there that would want to raise another man's children. I would even go as far as to suggest that it's almost a primordial instinct of human male behaviour. Whilst I'm certainly not putting humans on the same level as animals... this behaviour is also evident all throughout the animal kingdom bar just a few exceptions.
Of course what I've written may indeed come across offensive but I genuinely guarantee to you that it was not written in any way out of malice, rather to paint you a picture of what is closest to the truth. With that being said this behaviour does not exist in a monolith there are always exceptions to the rule.
If you're being truly honest with yourself, do you genuinely think that bringing your children into a new relationship is bonus. If so, then you have to question why it is that you'd go through the effort raise the point of having children when you're dating. Essentially you're saying " I have children and that is what you're in for if you continue to pursue this relationship with me."
How many men do you think would be overwhelmed with joy if after say 2 weeks or so of dating you decide to bring him around to your home where you spring your children on him without mentioning them in the first few weeks of dating?
@@BigPMaher I kind of lose respect for men raising another man’s kids (in instances where they marry a woman previously divorced AND the man has no children of his own). He’s basically saying he has low SMV and thinks so little of himself. Completely c|_|cked. He thinks so little of himself that he can’t get with a single normal woman. Like holy shit man. How hard is it to find someone normal these days lol. Not supreme. Just normal. Not someone that spent their entire 20s travelling and taking selfie’s and drinking.
I have to say you're the one of the most honest MGTOW channels. You take into account our own faults; which we need to keep in mind. All issues we face as men are not to sole fault of women, but they are a combination of our choices and the actions of others. We decide who we let in our lives and how we respond to another's actions. We have a part in determining the terms of any relationship by what we are willing to accept from the other person.
I think it's possible to have a good relationship after 30. Everything said in this video is true, you just don't take any shit anymore because you know yourself very well, but I think you can also play this to your advantage and be vrey straightforward with every person you meet. This makes you go trough different people very quickly in comparisson to your teens or twenties. You no longer have to spent months to see if something will work, you can be quite sure after a couple of weeks or one month at the max. Sure you wont feel like you're a teenager in love, but that is - as glorious as it is - a flimsy feeling at it's best. It's extremely fragile. After 30 you have more control over yourself and therefore you can gather all the information you have and decide more rationally. Having said all that, honesty to yourself and your partner is the most valuable out of everything and should be the only way of communication.
Amen... I felt this video was way too negative about life.
The problem is that you can't find other people like you.
@@bmaria4593 Yeah, I would agree. I do find it way more beneficial to just find someone who accepts you as you are and you them. By this I don't mean a completely different person but something in between you and them. I always grew the most (or at least felt like I did) in those types of relationships.
You write well but I think you missed the point, the thing is: why have a relationship after 30?
When you're young, relationship, as human said, is "home", you build your personality with it, in it. You have a project of life, a purpose (work together, have child, buy a house, till death). Plus, you have hormones making you desire the other person and you can pair bond with. After 30, you don't have nothing of these things, and all the most important things of your life that you've built, was built by yourself alone, your personality (awesome and tough experiences) wasn't built with another person. Look at the behaviour of monogamous animals like birds, they all build their life together from an young age. Not only you don't have the same hormones but you know that relationship is nothing magical, is hard work and women today isn't worth it at all.
Peace and freedom sounds more, much more interesting.
@@suryamaghasimha6912 i see. Yes, you may be right in the point of “why even have a relationship”. It’s definitely true that most of the women are not really worth your peace and some people would gladly trade off a relationship for their own peace.
Where I would disagree though, would be that you have built yourself on your own. I believe we build ourselves off of the relationships we have and the experiences we live trough. Those things do not exist in a vacuum but are rather social moments where your actions and later your review of them define you as a person. So I think if you know who you are, and so does the person you choose (after 30 lets say), you won’t be compromising eachothers peace by choosing to be in a relationship because you value eachoter in one way or another.
Personally I think we have been lied to our whole lives. Both men and women expect something that doesn't exist. Unrealistic views of relationships from movies, books, and other media.
Its a fact you have been lied to...this rabbit hole goes deeper then you can imagine
Right
Years ago I had moved on from a relationship and found happiness. The ex thought that it was just a phase. Called to catch up (check in). I said, "This isn't the hallmark channel. When the guy walks away, he doesn't come running back as he realises that the woman is perfect - life isn't meant to mirror those romantic movies. It simply doesn't happen in real life." Sh*t you not, she screamed, "Yes it is!!! And yes it does!!! Why can't you see that!?!?"
Totally agree
🙌🏽
i said the same thing just last nite.. how when we were young. We were told that we were to young to know what love is.. i now feel that being young is the only time that you can fall in love.. now way to many life experiences have put up so many conditions, that we cant trust anymore.
Yup! I couldn't fall in loe at my age. Seen too much.
We lose our youthful optimism, when we learn what people and society is truly like
The only times I was in love were at the ages of 10, 13 and 19
I hear ya, spot on.
The marriage with the lowest rate of divorce is young and virgin, despite statistics being polluted by shotgun marriages due to unwanted pregnancy (if you remove these then the rate of success of young+virgin marriage is gigantic, clearly this is the way to go). People do a lot of stupid things when they're young but those who choose well are finding the love jackpot in life. I only know 4 happy couples who lasted long together, they all married young, one woman had her first kiss at 23 years old with her first boyfriend whom she married. Everybody else either divorced or are not happy together but for logistic reasons won't break up (don't want to go back to dating, have nowhere to go etc.)
My girlfriend and I are a year apart (30/31) but self preservation, honesty and authenticity is such a prevalent thing in how our relationship is conducted. How you're speaking is so very real in how relationships mature and being honest and upfront and both of us aren't afraid to walk out on the relationship if our needs aren't being met.
Very different than the 20s, that's for sure.
This man explains my mindset so well. I’m 37 years old and I’ve told people that I’m too old to date and I just look at me like I’m the idiot.
A waiter goes up to his table of four middle aged women and asks, "Was anything okay?"
And all of then were called Karen.
😄😁😂
I thought it was Jewish Women but either one works.
Haha so true man. Ive always said that women over 45 either become lesbians or just hate men.
@@AJLangford I have a female neighbour who is in her mid twenties and she turned lesbian.
She had a boyfriend, they have a son who is living with her (poor little thing). Based on her behaviour I could guarantee that she fooked her boyfriend in the family court.
Then she was living with her female partner for few months, fighting a lot, screaming at each other, throwing objects, and on the day when they split, things have been thrown through the window and police have been involved.
And yes, they hate men.
"Love" is like a magic trick, once you know how its done you lose your sense of wonder.
Brilliant
That's a ridiculous, defeatist statement. That's like saying once you invent computers, people will stop wanting to process information.
If you know how love works then the relationship should actually last.
@@moneyhooligan03 love and relationships aren't the same thing though. Relationships are transactional. Love is a chemical reaction causing a state of being, a perception. If you knew or at the very least recognize that one facilitates the other, you would've said something that makes sense. If you want a relationship to last you have to keep up your end of the bargain and that goes for both sides.
The issue today is honestly that men and women are lied to about what a relationship is or entails. If somebody doesn't bring in anything or even keep up their end, it begs the question of why are you in my life or why am I in yours?
@@Jayare175 my statement regards both parties involved in the relationship so yes it does make sense.
The only time in my life I was connected to other people was in my teens. I am 34 now, and I have had few acquaintances, One gf in my early 20s, and since my 30s began been really alone. As a straight man, you look at every woman from a sexual lense, but I have the wisdom to know that it is mostly a trap. Like I think to myself, " will she really ever know me? Will she ever really like me for who I am? " Even with men, as an adult I have had a hard time making friends, and it seems like I am going to be alone. I have found that exercise, reading, and meditating have given me joy. I even began playing guitar. Its like im a puzzle piece but I just cannot see where my place is in the world.
maybe you are the first puzzle piece to a new design ...just have to create it
Story of my life buddy :)
same
38. single. no kids. i still party like a 20 year old. keep fit. buy what i want and when i want. travel where and when i want. no strings attached.
Human, once again you are completely correct. At 52 years old, I will never ask a woman out on a date again.
54 Amen..
As if you can?…
36 and never looked back. Divorce was a gift and life is now peaceful and quiet. Job I like, house I love and a dog who is always happy to see me. No interest in making room in my life for a woman, other than the occasional fling. Looking forward to the back 9 of my life. It really is just getting to the good part.
It makes me nervous like blood in the water. I not supposed to be severely content.
I’m separated from my wife right now pending a divorce. I’ve never been as focused on personal goals as I am now. Marriage won’t be in my future.
Same here. Got my two cats. Got my kid who lives with me half the time. My business is growing. I live inna great place. I drive freely. I have a few good friends. That’s all I need. My life is NOT better with a relationshup
Terence Mason kids?
unconditional love for a man has four paws and a tail
My wife passed away and it's a lot harder to care about other people the same as her. It feels like I will never get that full love feeling again. I hate knowing what I am missing in life.
No , you can find love
@@FH-tg6wx Rubbish. Stop Lying
I just turned 25 and basically what I’m gettin is, if I’m gonna have a genuine relationship when I get older, I better be one of the few lucky ones to run into then now, and if not I might as well forget about it and focus solely on a higher purpose
So true, man.
You say "after 30", but I'm 28, barely have any dating experience and already don't care much about long-term romantic relationships. Some people run this hamster wheel longer than others, but the more comfortable and honest you can be about your own life, the more you realize there are just no reasons to continue running anymore. Just want to sit still, enjoy the peace and quiet you've made for yourself and... I guess, simply ignore those younger people who are eager to spin the wheel.
Sometimes they shout how you should join them and wonder why you don't. But you know, long term relationship is an arduous work and I don't really need a second job, gee thanks.
I'm at the same age and view things similarly. The juice just isn't worth the squeeze.
second job that dont pay
Same 28
Currently on the same wheel, bro.
Can relate, same age. But don't forget your homornes nor sexual drive is as strong as it used to be. Your energy levels too aren't so high, and you aren't so fine with waisting your time. Kinda sad from some point that "us" haven't lived out properly "those" years and that drive. In some sorts it gives and takes, but you will never be able to experience them again like you should.
I'm 26 and my thirties are right around the corner for me. It's very comforting to know that sexual relationships become less of a psychological burden when you enter that decade of your life, especially by the mid-thirties for men since their hormones start to settle down. Love is nothing more than a delusion that compels you to breed.
Don’t even need to wait for your hormones to chill the fuck down, get a sex doll or at least a flesh light and make a whole experience out of it. You can still get a pretty nice sexual release without a woman involved, you’ll be ahead of what will be the norm
30s are way better than your 20s mate you're coming into the prime of your life. Same energy as your 20s but a decades worth more of experience and maturity, you're unstoppable in this decade and you will crush it with all the advice you're consuming now! I wish I came across this stuff earlier haha 🙂🙂
The drive can still be an issue from time to time. The big difference is that you can understand the dangers of "dating", so the urge to actually go out looking is easier to put down.
@@lincolnfogarty3961 I disagree about having more energy in your 30s vs. your 20s. When I was in my 20s, I could work 14-16 hour days consistently, without any issues. I could also eat whatever I wanted and get away with it (due to a faster metabolism). Now, as a man in his 30's, my body can't handle that lifestyle anymore. That being said, I agree that you, as a 30+ year-old man, have a lot more maturity, experience, intelligence, and focus (assuming you aren't encumbered by family obligations) than a man in his 20s. An older man's focus, experience, and maturity can compensate for his drop in energy levels.
when you're 29, your 30s are around the corner. when you're 26 you're in your mid twenties. don't be dramatic.
In my 40's, the best thing I did when I thought about getting serious with a particular woman (after having gone through a divorce with children) was to ask her specific questions about what she believed. This was to see if they matched my most closely held beliefs. I didn't tell her what I believed but instead just asked open ended questions. The first woman took offense, got up and left. I was fine with that. It wasn't meant to be. The second didn't get offended, spoke honestly back and we've now been married over 12 years. She is my best friend and we haven't had the first real argument. I enjoy hanging out with her more than anything I can think of.
I envy your good fortune. Here’s wishing you another happy 12 years together….and then some.
I’m turning 35 this year. The being honest and communicate better really hit home
Its crazy. To see life after being awakened. I see friends that are married and you can just see right thru it. The facade, the display, the theatrics. Even more when it's on social media for everyone to see. LOOK AT US! We are the prime example of a good relationship when in reality, one of em wants out. Or some may even feel stuck. Or never want to be alone. It's nice to feel wanted but knowing its just temporary, a sacrifice of your sanctity and sanity.
Your vids really hits it on the head. Being in my 30s, I just wanna be left the fuck alone really. I have my problems to deal with, like what I wanna make for dinner compared to what your crazy family are doing or work drama.
Awesome vid as always. Cheers from the US!
I feel exactly the same. Almost hitting 30, I am done with the drama and the expectations from society. I'd rather get shot in both knees than having to sit through another long 'family dinner' with her crazy parents.
Totally agree. I've slammed into the "just leave me the F alone" wall.
I do what I want, when I want, every single day without having to deal with anyone else's agenda.
Total freedom.
Right on! Wait till you hit your 40's-you'll care even less if you can believe it. And to your point, most of these relationships you see portrayed on social media are rife with problems, infidelity and tons of stress. I know many in my own circle that are like this but if you look at their social media, they look like this perfect little family. It's a beautiful lie.
I also mainly want to be left alone-why is that so much to ask these days? Not even from women but from society as well. I'm not bothering or hurting anyone and only ask for the same in return. Literally asking people to do nothing, and they can't even oblige that.
@@markt2398 why I don't have social media. Besides family, some are outside US, I only have is an app to communicate. And I rarely us it honestly. But I don't miss that shit. Good luck to everyone on here. I hope that you all continue to grow, gain wealth, gain knowledge and enjoy the time we have on this world. You damn right ima be stress free and try to keep my hair from falling out!
@@markt2398 check out a video by Blackram313 called shadow living part 5... its a great video for men who want to be left alone by everyone and just do their own thing.
You have verbalised my thoughts and naturally responsive actions.
In the last 8 years every relationship I have left and I have left them all. I have said the same thing to myself.... “I want my life back”
Thanks again for your time huMAN
As you get older, interest in sex declines, and the willingness to compromise or make sacrifices declines. Lots of men and women over 35 are single and generally happy and fearful of the responsibilities of being married.
Fearful really sounds true but is it the case for some?
Try dating a dismissive avoidant. The fears for them are amplified. Everyones heading that way... Relationships are doomed.
Do certain sex positions get horrible charlie horse there goes the excitement. The older I got the less sex made me connect to person, and more I needed emotional intimacy.
@@dannywholuv 💯
It's scary how accurately this dude described me. I just turned 30, and I keep getting hit up by women... but I give absolutely no shits. If only it was that easy in my 20's... it's sad really.
Hey do you mean you habe better chances to get woman since you are in your 30s?
He means the contrary @@skrrskrr902
THIS IS A RATIONAL MAN.... very grateful for these posts huMAN
It’s funny when I hear guys still tell me I just haven’t found the one yet. It’s like trying to explain to them that you’ve been on the roller coaster ride a million times and each time it has been the same but they keep telling you it will be amazingly different with one more try.
shes not yours its just your turn - lost a few mates even with that one .
that will red pill em
-
when it hits em they will immediatlely say.
"What does that mean"
reply by saying "The first thing that popped into your head when i said it"
Just like communism
@@elyasshussain5988 gotta be real man. I’m almost a 40 year old virgin. Sure I still get sexual thoughts and if I wasn’t drinking, still get morning wood, not to sound gross, however the realer you are the more people will look at you like you weird.
I got few friends these days. I like it that way too. Too many people and too many problems to deal with. I don’t have the patience.
Women, why can’t you be friendly??
Tell him theres lots of people he will be compatible with. Just pick one and get on with it
any guy that says " the one" is a lost cause....they still think its a disney movie...they will learn the hard way.
12:09 "Haunted by our cowardess". Wow... Mind blown. So relatable.
Spelt cowardice
This man knows what he's talking about, through and through
After so many trials and failures I simply am just exhausted. Tired of trying to get women to validate me tired of trying to impress women. If it's not one thing it's another . One women says I'm handsome but I'm too broke , the other says it's not about the money but I'm not emotionally mature for her, the other says that I'm too much for her what ever that means. There's just no pleasing them not unless you have it all and even then. And wtf am I chasing and hoping for? To become addicted to female attention and validation? To spend all my life providing and protecting her ? Just to get a pat on the head! Fuck off! If my feelings and heart don't mean shit to them, then what good are they for me? Would they stick through the storm with me? Hell no, yet I would cherish her lol. It's over I'm done an Denver looking back , knowing what I know now, how can I ever look back lol, I truly loved but was rejected for not being good enough. I'm happy I was rejected why the hell would I become a slave willingly to a female . Fuck off!
I think you’re chasing and hoping for your equal. It will happen if you allow it to.
operative word allow...
Sometimes things will come to us or we will find them when we stop looking for them so hard and constantly.
Give yourself a chance to hang out with yourself while also giving yourself many accolades for all the wonderful things that you are and do.
Somewhere along the line you will find someone who thinks you are just as wonderful as you know you are. These things just take time.
Allow yourself the time💕
Go monk for a little while. Find yourself-center, better yourself, and be happy with you. Don't even think about a woman or the fairytale of happily ever after. A woman is a compliment to you, not your focus
That pat on the head reminds me of Coqch Greg showing the simps pat on the head like a good little boy... 🤣 yuck 🤮
Denver's in my rear view mirror also.
@@thenutrientwhisperer3700 This some blue pilled women like reply
For men the insanity of love is a lot harder to catch when you are not swimming in hormones.
I can see this, but I'm happily married to my wife and we are 37. Every day just grows stronger.
You're lucky. Congrats.
Thank you.
Good luck, without sarcasm, because true love exists.
Why did you watch this video? How does a happily married man stumble across this content? I’m curious.
@@Anonymous-md2qp tbh it just popped up on my feed don't know why because I'm not subscribed, just about at least 98% of what I watch on RUclips is game related and the other is parodies. The reason I watched and not all the way to the end is because like you I was curious.
Ironically, the more stable I become, the less I'm willing to compromise that stability for another person. Long-term prospects need to have all their ducks in a row (good ethics, no debt they expect me to handle, no bills they expect me to pay, and be mature). The problem is that most people I'm interested in are not in that category or are likewise so self-sufficient that they don't need my life in theirs.
As you've said, the world is more interesting now; the internet has given people the ability to create side-businesses out of their passions and access new and interesting ideas about how to live your life. 50 years ago, you got married because what else was there to do? Now, in the age of easy travel, online hookup apps, and a population that's in no real danger of depleting, is there any reason to get married?
Seems men and women are supposed to get together when they're young so that they can age together and have identities that are interwoven.
when I look at my highschool classmates, those who got married young and became single mothers young. It worked for the older generation because divorce was not an option
maybe true but most people change so what happens to the relationship when both people change?
@@jueshihuanggua3162 Exactly this. Just look at videos of people asking older couples how they lasted so long together, same response usually, if anything broke they had to find ways to fix it. People nowadays don't have the patience or even a good enough attention span to grasp this, and potentially come from a single parent household that neither reflected the mentality of "staying and fixing things", nor did that single parent teach them that notion.
Plus with the law favouring females in divorce and encouragement from society to never accept anything less than "perfect" to me it's no wonder relationships are shallow at best and never last, there's just no incentive.
@@Firealchemist24 plus people nowadays think a relationship should make them "happy", but a marriage is just work really, a lot of work. sometimes the couple work it out and find true meaning and love in it, but not always, sometimes it's just a lot of anger and heartbreaks
@TheLateLateLateShow I was blind to this in my early 20's -- had a chance with a good girl, and I just shrugged it off; this is what the majority experience or something similar
A masterpiece of a message. I think that in a way, many of us in our 30's,40's,& even 50's are disillusioned by the fact that we are so much healthier than our parents,& grandparents were when they were in midlife. Let's face it...when we were kids people past the age of 40 carried themselves differently. The LITERALLY acted older. A grandmother today wears leggins, goes to the gym,& gets hit on by men nearly half her age. The tv commercials bombard us with "how to look& feel" like we are 25 again. At some point we realize that no matter how fit we may feel, or young we may look, that we can't cheat the natural order of growing old.
My last relationship ended 5 years ago. I'm 31 now. What's changed? I've realized there's no point in dating. There's no point in involving myself with a woman on a serious level. There's just no point...
Turning 30 in a week... You're absolutely right about relationships not feeling like home anymore. Only one woman made it feel like home and we bonded when very young (19-20).
Same sequence for me. But one day she decided to date some low life behind my back and found out on social media
Subtle, blunt just what the soul needs to listen to.
One of your better videos. Obviously, you've given this a lot of thought.
Thank you - wow. You hit the mark. I happened to meet a woman when I was 35 and she was 40. We had met in the military on no less than 20 occasions between 1970-85. We never lived in the same city. I happened to 'bump' into her in 1991 after moving to the city where I now live and fell hard for her. Shortly after that, I was deployed in "Operation Desert Storm". I returned after 3 months and whatever we might have had before vanished. We dated briefly 12 years later ... and nuthin'. I was 'driving with the brake on' and she was not amused by me a'tall. I still love her. We aren't together. Today, I am 65 and she is 70. I have financial difficulties and she is surrounded by many admirers and family. 'Oh well'. Thanks for the frank discussion of subconscious realities.
24 years with my wife, plenty of ups and downs but I couldn’t imagine life without her.
I’m curious as to why you would watch a video such as this?
@@Anonymous-md2qp no idea, it just showed up on my feed, I watched it for a couple of minutes and bailed.
I hope that works out for you for the rest of your life, though I would not rule out Stockholm syndrome. ;)
yeah and your response shows your young mind.. you will eventually get it. Or if not you are one of the "lucky" ones. But lets see in 20 years when you are more mature and experienced in the life of dating.
Re: "No longer feels like home", that's true whether you've spent your 20s and 30s in a stable relationship or not. The counterpoint to the largely single life is those who've surfed through a bunch of broken relationships are so scarred, "feeling like home" is kind of a mythical concept. You don't expect anyone to "complete you" anymore, because you realize people are independent creatures and they'll let you down. You can enjoy someone's company, but it's never going to "feel like home" like it did when you lost yourself in someone when you were young and naive.
Very well put Dario. This is why it’s so important to love yourself first.
best comment probly
I will never know what losing myself is like. I used to feel bad about it. Not anymore.
@@mariobros7834 It puts you in a very vulnerable place. I created a false reality around a woman that was like an alternative universe. It was the most beautiful world you could imagine. The real world faded in her presence. It was just me and her. I won't lie, it is simply the most wonderful drug there is. Until the bubble pops and that world you got lost in vanishes. It's been 8 years and I haven't fully recovered from getting lost in it. I'm not the same person anymore. I was cynical before, but my cynicism now is absolutely toxic. I'm a hard person to be around.
So in summary, never losing yourself is like saying you've never tried heroin or crack. You may never experience that high, and most addicts will tell you yeah its grand but trust me you don't want to.
@@darioinfini meditation will cure this
I’m 36 now and I’ve spent the last 5 years completely changing my career course. I’ve made 4 job leaps, with income that’s varied from beyond my prior peak to barely scraping by. It’s taught me a lot - about who I am, what creature comforts matter to me vs how austerely I can live, what my priorities are in working.
The past year, in particular, has opened my eyes at a numinous level... and there’s absolutely no way I could have experienced any of it with a wife, especially not with children. I am quantifiably better off single and there’s simply nothing a woman can offer me that competes.
Being single doesn't make me happy but it beats the alternative.
If you aren’t happy while being single then you need to fix some other issues. A woman won’t make your life better, they usually bring more stress and responsibility.
I'm a 57 year old broad who loves her life, her job, her kids, her friends, her hobbies and passions... This video is spot on. And I'm o.k. with it.
Glad to hear it :)
This hit a note with me, men age like wine and women like milk l hear often! Well a decent looking couger will get a younger guy and he will happily use her as target practice ! An older guy will maybe get a twenty year old and she will use him as a piggy bank. It's rather messed up but it seems to be the reality of the game of life.
Men do not get better looking with age 🤮
No one said they did darling. Please read what the man wrote before commenting. He said they age like wine. Men my not get better looking, god know women sure as hell don’t, but they certainly become more attractive to women. Hypergamy is feature of women not a defect.
@@garbonomics I would definitely prefer a 40 year old financially comfortable man to a rich 60 year old. Hypergamy is to date/marry up. It doesn’t make old men appealing.
Lol look at what you said in your writing, “I prefer a financially comfortable man”. That’s exactly the point. And the vast majority of 60 year old men aren’t looking for wives and girlfriends for obvious reasons.
@@garbonomics wrong. Lots are because they start craving companionship. I hear about it daily.
"He who lives to see two or three generations is like a man who sits some time in the conjurer's booth at a fair, and witnesses the performance twice or thrice in succession. The tricks were meant to be seen only once; and when they are no longer a novelty and cease to deceive, their effect is gone. "
-Schopenhauer, Studies in Pessimism
Excellent!
I love Schopenhauer
I always feel so calmed, and humbled by agreement when I listen to this guy. Makes me feel more secure in who I am and how I choose to live my life.
In my 40’s and been single for a long time. Online dating is an exercise in hypergamy and ghosting. Better off alone
Excellent content.. I've been there and burnt my hands, lost my sleep due to failed commitments, intimacy is a luxury option if it comes at the right price. Can't roll the dice anymore for anyone.. it isn't worth it.
Friends provide more than a spouse ever could...and they know it!
I'm 36, up until 35 if I ever had a girlfriend I always wanted to be single, if I was single I was always on the radar for another girl. Now is the first time in my life I'm single, the radar is switched off and the thought of any kind of relationship makes me feel as if my soul is about to die. It's a strange feeling but geez it's peaceful. The athlete analogy is spot on, dating is a young man's game and I'm happily retired.
I'm 29 and have the same additude. Relationship = want to be single. Single = always hooking up, never alone..
Hope I will gain your status
I'm 34, single and never married. This has been crushing.
Being 28, with my 30s quickly approaching..its almost a relief to know that it'll smooth out in some form or fashion, the intolerable annoyance i get with just talking to females has been enough to turn me off of any sort of relationship with them, it reached its peak after my ex cheated. I've tried dating, im still attracted to women, but thats as far as it goes. Thanks man appreciate your words 🙏 tahn-seh
And understand that the woman who cheated on you was full of her own ego and yearning to be desired & lacked self respect. Nothing to do with you, though humans can self blame.
I'm 44 now and they are running after me like crazy. Of course I have a good job, I'm tall (6"3) and handsome. Guess what? I don't deal with mindgames anymore. I'm a mgtow for years.
I understand the feeling . it’s great when you feel better alone funny how it is also when everyone wants to follow you
Mgtow is really a way of life!!!! :)
I have a bunch of intrest too and I’m like??? Not sure because I’m so over toxic mind games and shallow or people that use me for looks or status. Now they can’t use me as my dad doesn’t own a company anymroe!
What is mgtow?
@@chassiex3 google it
I am 68 now, and picked up the friendship with one of my school girlfriends. We both have a past - evidently - but that's okay: what counts is shared interests, and an occasional hug. And knowing one of us will be lucky to hold a hand when he or she passes away...
I am 61, a single woman and this rings true. What is the
Point in lying so you can
Play the
Game?
Innocence is gone, so true. Just is sad.
It was beautiful while it existed.
There was never to begin with :)
Reality sucks, but better to know whats up, then simply being a pawn to the powers that be
I guess we should turn this ship around and hold onto innocence.
Sad? I find it liberating and calming.
The most difficult language to speak is the language of truth.... truth is bitter... honesty is the best policy, it gives you peace of mind...huge respect for you man.... regards from india.....
I’m on my mid 30’s and having a long term relationship isn’t anymore on my plans. I feel like you described, that it’s just not for me anymore, getting to know somebody, go out and listen to all that useless information that a woman could give me about herself, having a walk holding hands, I can’t help but cringe only thinking about it. As older as I get, the more I value a peaceful and quiet day to day. It’s pointless doing anything apart from hooking up and leaving to sleep on my own bed by myself, listening to my dog snore on her bed
I’m 54 now, divorced 5 years ago & been living by myself ever since. I’m so set in my ways now, that I don’t think a woman can really bring anything to my life. I’m prepared to live by myself till I die & I’m fine with that.
@@misterb1132 I’m glad to hear that you’re in a good place, MisterB. Really think it over before you get back into another relationship with your ex.
Man, this hit home. You are 100% correct on all points when your older and relationships. I had a relationship with a gal about ten years my junior a few years back, I was 42 and I wasn't honest with myself or her. It ended after a year and a half. I realized, I'm set in my ways and I like my life the way it is. I'm not going to give it up or change it. I needed to hear this. This is just a fantastic channel my friend.
Cheers :)
As a 33 year old, almost 34. This hit home hard. I have avoided dating for 5 years and discovered a lot about myself as well how humans, particularly females, create a whole artificial game in which we are born to play, but don't have to.
I recently started dating a 29yo girl who is a perfect mental match to me, we have near similar interests, though she had excess fun in her youth, which has probably left her unable to pair bond, and was raised a traveler, moving every 6 months, the only reason she has stuck around is because she got in a car accident. It is a total vacation from normality, she motivates me to work harder only so I can funnel my free time into her.
Everything you say is true, I started the relation with mature language, explained she won't like me in a few months once the honeymoon wore off, and even try and discuss tactics with her to amplify our sex life verses just go at it willy nilly.
She keeps saying she wants me until she is 80, but in my head I know that is probably more like 8 weeks.
I would love to find one who can climb to higher levels of potential with me, and have children to enjoy late in life, but in this Era the prospects of that happening are almost zero, especially for those who have been taking in information from black red pill and MG tow. It's akin to learning about the dangers of existence in space, but still trying to build a rocket ship that will probably blow up on the way there anyway.
Enjoy it while it lasts, brother. And NEVER drop your standards you demand from her.
Don't give up
Hi. How is it going now friend?
Got to say mate you're spot on with everything you said, I'm a 52 year old bloke ,single with two adult daughters that live with me and in my experience every single time I'm not honest with myself or someone I'm trying to see it just turns to crap, so I've decided and very successfully to just be happy in my own skin and enjoy what life at this stage in my life as to offer by myself.
As a man, I've always felt a powerful urge to provide for my family. I did so for 25 years and have no regrets when it comes to my three children. What tore me down was the abusive, even spiteful spending by my partner while I was forced into celibacy and servitude. I was the money machine that was expected to give endlessly and never expect anything in return.
This trend continued after my divorce, but there were no kids involved. I was again expected to give endlessly and never expect to be granted permission to chase my own wants and desires. I see the common denominator here (me), and I take full responsibility for it. There is no valor in sustaining abuse. You get no medal when it all comes crashing down. You're left with nothing but the mess to clean up.
I have finally learned the single lesson I wish I would have learned decades ago... Establish healthy boundaries early on and protect them at all costs, even and especially if it ends the relationship. The advice from huMAN about speaking your honest truth is HOW you establish these healthy boundaries. Make this your daily mantra.
I detest men like you. Your type i.e. betabux providers and spineless simps who inflate women's ego tenfold and make men seem as disposable workhorses in doing so. You were not expected to provide anything. You chose to do so because you think with your little head instead of the big one. There wouldn't be a misandrist culture in the US and a worldwide expectation for men to provide and sacrifice if men like you didn't exist. The problem is not somewhere out there, an evil feminist wife or court. It is you!
In my opinion one of his best videos. I think he put a lot of thought onto it. And it is very pithy, very thick and concise.
The realest point in this to me was the idea that when dating older, people are playing “make-believe” so as to feel what they felt when they were younger. I’m gonna lose some here, but IMO that’s one of the unstated reasons we were/are taught as younger people not to rush into sex/relationships and wait until we are “ready”. I truly think if we could explain this former point as the “why” to young people, they could understand. But the dilemma with this becomes: how many of could really explain it effectively if we did not do it ourselves?
I mean, how many of us even have the clarity to even realize that’s what we’re doing?
This is so spot on, it’s scary. These days, dating is already tough as it is, but, after the red pill, the mere THOUGHT of getting back out there makes me tired. Dating is definitely for the young and not yet broken.
Esoteric is the appropriate and defining word. A simple conversation with most people will illustrate how defind we have become in our views and interests. As we struggle to discover similar interests to discuss and witness the lack of patience by ourselves and others we discover that short exchanges are the norm; lacking depth and satisfaction. We have created our own parameters, rejecting intrusions which are viewed as annoying distractions. We don't seek individual validation through social expectations. Attaching yourself to a woman invites her innate set of behaviors into your life; hobbling the freedom of personal choice by necessitating illegitimate compromises ( a woman's calling card). If solitude, age and health issues are the concern panic buttons with links to police and medical services are more practical, less frustrating and less expensive.
HuMAN you are a killjoy to all coffee table conversations.
@Moan hahahaha you should research more into the English language. It exactly means the opposite.
@Moan and you sat and watched it, says a lot about you tool.
@Moan hahahahaha so predictable
He may seem like a killjoy but he's absolutely right. Any man who has made it to 35+ and suffered in relationships will know all too well.
i would enjoy having a coffee with him
The civil war that was my heart and my mind finally concluded in my 30's. My mind had amassed a great army of resources and troops (life experience, evidence) so much so that even my heart's greatest generals ( denial, idealism, hope) could no longer see a path to victory and were forced to surrender. I have gone through my stages of grief, and what's left of my heart is there to keep me alive, no more, no less. For it knows it faces the threat of mutually assured destruction.
So who won the war then? Did your heart finally surrender ?
@@Takeru9292 The mind won, the heart was forced to surrender amongst the overwhelming odds. The red pill was just too strong, the blue pill was backed against the wall, and the purple pill was seen for the double agent it truly was.
Beatifull
Social engineering, destroyed the western family unit,and the world will never recover, as people are so comfortable, it won't be comfortable for future generations....
As a 33 yo male...i have been working on myself and working hard in my own company. As long as i can remember starting in school women never seemed to like me...i didnt even got any smiles (im not bad looking at all) So finally i just gave up and now at 33 i really have been checked out of the dating market...in fact i did not even try to start any relationships due to womens attitudes...i cant explain it...its like men are automaticlly not worth much. So now with almost no women expereences im not even sure if i even wntnto try again...she better come up with a hell of a reason...
I am 29 yo fécale and never dates before , bcz we are muslims and not allowed to date men, I feel down on myself , if women doesn't care about you it is not your fault , just be confident , you are 33yo and so young , start talking to girls until you find your soulmate, ever care about your age , learn how to start a conversation and be a gentelman , level up and you will see the difference
Best of luck
As a 30 year old man, I disagree. I'm still looking for a relationship to settle down and believing in love.
🥺❤️🌹🥰
And you will find her, because you believe in love. What you seek is seeking you.🌷
I hope you found it.
By far, you have the most common sense answer to this. I always felt the other channels who say "men are winning by walking away" or "women will regret this" are incorrect.
I am in my late 30's now and have no interest in the BS of a relationship because it will never be amazing like it was in my 20's. I have accepted my fate of dreaming of the good ole days and enjoying my single life (after experiencing a bad relationship of course)
@NibiruLives I couldn’t pick up a chick if my life depended on it 😂😂😂
100% correct. Usually even when kids are 18-20, they're not independent, will be around and a large focus of a single father or single mother, who are now at least 40. Living together means limited time for each other because of that. It means blending families, big challenge. Nobody wants to risk the assett of the home if they move in together either. And all of this only if they enter a relationship. More likely people just keep their own place, it's their comfort zone. Unless they're struggling to pay their rent or payments, very unlikely to try and move in with someone. Relationship at that age is really fwb, because you've gave your best a long time ago. You can care about and support each other, ease loneliness. Sex ok, not great, not passionate. Spend the night in a cleaner nicer bed and bedroom, enjoy some better food than your own, appreciate that.. but go home, coz you're not wasting too much time there.
OOF!! Haha! This was SO real, so accurate, such good advice for most men.
What does fwb mean Walter.....
@Ash Heath FWB = Friends With Benefits
@@marguerita555 FWB = Friends With Benefits
@@nathan2813 Oh i dont do that!
People these days just chase the illusion of a relationship - the image of what looks like a relationship from the outside. Men and women are independent and like you explained really well, people just don't NEED each other anymore. The appearance of a relationship in it's classic sense came as a byproduct of two people DEPENDING in each other. That doesn't happen anymore and much of it is just pleasure based. And we all know how long pleasure lasts for. Great video!
Wow I've learned more in this video than I have in the last week of watching several others, Much appreciated sir.
One of the most freedom-oriented epiphanies I've had as I've aged was the realization that I don't have to impress anyone. I have nothing to prove to anyone other than myself. I like being boring because it's the freedom to find contentment within my own interests. Women can take me or leave me -- I don't care.
@ila1964 that's so odd, it's like they're attracted to content men
I am 40 and childfree and out of the game for five years, never been happier!
So I met my wife in my early 20's, and I loved her to the end. She died at age 40, after being diagnosed with stage 4 breasts cancer out of the blue at age 39. I did everything I could to keep her alive, and would have loved to spend her remaining lives with her. But life doesn't work that way. We had a 5 year old son, now 7. But lots of pressure to meet someone to help raise him. What should I do?
I am one of your 'older' viewers and you are spot on. It just doesn't matter to me to be in a relationship any longer. It's so much nicer to be stress free and free to do as I wish. I was married 10 years and I was miserable for most of it. Never again. Men need to realize how valuable their time is. Being a slave and / or putting up with a woman just is not worth it.
Absolutely correct. I have been single now for 25 years. My experiences from the past tell me that women want to control me and at this point in my life I don't want to have to ask a wife's permission to go hang out with a friend. I can cook, clean, and honestly I never feel lonely. I have many hobbies that I really enjoy and see friends on occasion. I am not willing to add an "element of chaos to my life".
There's too much to do in life, no need to spend time on women. Only for sex or to make kids.