Chris Gard - "THE BETROTHED"
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- Опубликовано: 5 фев 2025
- Music written, produced and performed by Chris Gard
All songbook poems arranged by Panama Hat.
Lyrics have been drawn directly from Rudyard Kiplings "The Betrothed"; the lyrics are not fully true to the original, as I had to assemble verses that were easy to sing comprehensibly to the meter and rhythm of the music itself.
//
Open the old cigar-box, get me a Cuba stout,
For things are running crossways, and Maggie and I are out.
We quarrelled about Havanas, and o’er a good cheroot,
And, O, she is exacting, and she says I am a brute.
Open the old cigar-box-let me consider a space;
In the soft blue veil of vapour musing up me Maggie’s face.
O, Maggie’s pretty to look at- O, Maggie’s a loving lass,
But the prettiest cheeks’ll wrinkle, and the truest of love’ll pass.
There’s peace in a Larranaga, calm in a Henry Clay;
But the best cigar in an hour is both finished and thrown away-
Thrown away for another as perfect and ripe and brown-
But I couldn’t throw away me Maggie for fear o’ the talk o’ the town!
Open the old cigar-box, get me a Cuba stout,
For things are running crossways, and Maggie and I are out.
We quarrelled about Havanas, and o’er a good cheroot,
And, O, she is exacting, and she says I am a brute.
Which is the better portion-love bought with a ring,
Or a harem of dusky beauties, fifty tied in a string?
Counsellors cunning and silent-comforters true and tried,
And never a one of the fifty to sneer at a rival bride?
I will scent ’em with vanilla, with tea will I temper their hides,
And the Moor and the Mormon shall envy who read of all of me brides.
For Maggie has written a letter to give me my choice between
The wee little whimpering Love or me good ol’ Nick o’ Teen.
Open the old cigar-box, get me a Cuba stout,
For things are running crossways, and Maggie and I are out.
We quarrelled about Havanas, and o’er a good cheroot,
And, O, she is exacting, and she says I am a brute.
Thought in the early morning, solace in time of woes,
Peace in the hush of the twilight, balm ere’ me eyelids close,
This will the fifty give me, asking nought in return,
With only a Suttee’s passion-to do their duty and burn.
This will the fifty give me. When they are spent and dead,
Five times other fifties shall be my servants instead.
The furrows of far-off Java, the isles of Spanish Main,
When they hear my harem is empty they will send me my brides again!
Open the old cigar-box, get me a Cuba stout,
For things are running crossways, and Maggie and I are out.
We quarrelled about Havanas, and o’er a good cheroot,
And, O, she is exacting, and she says I am a brute.
Open the old cigar-box-let me consider anew-
Old friends, who is Maggie that I should abandon you?
A million surplus Maggies are willing to bear the yoke;
And a woman is only a woman, but a good Cigar is a Smoke!
O, a woman is only a woman, but a good Cigar is a Smoke!
//
Mr. Hat's comments on the original poem:
"...this poem discusses the thoughts of a young man weighing up the benefits of cigars versus women. In 2015, a Durham academic discovered a marriage case (breach of promise) reported in a New Zealand newspaper from 1888 which reported that a young woman, Maggie Watson, was suing her fiancé, one William Kirkland, on the grounds that he refused to marry her because she insisted that he give up smoking."
Uh, hello, Based Department?
I'm going to listen to this another twenty times today, I think.
Great, another Gard song stuck in my head... cheers!!
Dude I found you channel from someone sharing the Raja Mohan song, became obsessed with your rendition of White Man's Burden, and now I can't stop listening to everything you put out
my favourite ones are Gunga Din, White Man's Burden and Good Luck to the Barley Mow
GARD! This is so good! I’ll be listening all day 😂
Quality 👏
I don't know what half those words mean but I thoroughly enjoyed them. Good stuff.
Huzzah!
Very good
This song made me subscribe.
This makes me want to smoke cigars.
You know what to do
Gard I love you
I love you too, drifter
Lol. Nice.
Your public demands a duet with The Duke 👑 & the Ozy man😮💨
Inhale deeply.
Do you write these!? Im obsessed
Read the description.
"Faack Orrff!"
Yeah, what’s up with that part?
@@arvidfalk5719 what do you mean what's up? The whole thing is pretty good, but that's about the best bit.
@@MalignInfluenceofReevesGabrels I just mean that that's not in the original ;) I thought it might be some allusion / inside joke on the channel or something.
@@arvidfalk5719 oh no, other than Gard (rightly) finding swear words funny, I think it's unrelated.
@@MalignInfluenceofReevesGabrels Ha, ok. Thanks!
Foidal devastation