My brother had a steep decline his last 5 days. Hospice was shocked how much he had declined in a couple of days. They told us he had 2-7 days left and educated us on liquid oral meds for pain and anxiety. He had been extremely restless the preceding day and night and we were glad he was getting some relief of this agitation. After the third dose of these meds he became unresponsive. I was sleeping in his room with him and had a timer wake me up to give him his meds the following morning. I noticed right away his breathing was very shallow but rapid. His hands were ice cold. No more than two minutes went by and his breathing rate began to slow significantly. Another couple of minutes he was gone. I felt like he was just waiting for me to wake and be with him as he passed. I told him I loved him just before his final two breaths. I will never forget that experience. Sacred. ♥️😢
I stayed with my brother alot of his time with hospice. I noticed he had a death smell, and his hands were clamy to the touch. He had the death rattle. My Mom also died with hospice. I told both of them, "I loved them.
I knew the end was very near for my husband dying of multiple myeloma. Hospice kept saying he had a week or two. I found this to be highly stressful going through the last days alone with my husband dying on a hospital bed in our livingroom in rural Montana. I had to call hospice several times to update his condition, all I had were Julie’s videos to help me. All my grown children live across the country. I just had to be brave and not fear death. Finally when his skin became mottled, barely had a blood pressure or heart rate, the hospice nurse came and said he would die very soon. I never had as much courage as I did the last 24 hours of my husband’s life. Thank you Julie for preparing me.
The youngest daughter of my best friend is a Hospice Nurse....and she will accompany my last days. Be there for me and my little family around the clock. Since I have cancer, this is a great comfort for me.
My husband passed away and I was shocked that I wasn’t scared. He didn’t wake up the day he passed, I laid on his chest and talked to him. The nurse came to check on him and I called her when he passed. Hospice is such a gift! ❤
I spent 10 days with my dad, before he passed. Those days were the most intense but loving moments. The day he passed, I had slept in the bed in his room. I could hear the nurses & my mom laughing. I looked at my sleeping dad and I knew this was the day he would die. I was briefly agitated at the laughter and chatter outside his room. I realized my mom was doing everything she could to NOT be in reality. My heart was hurting and heavy. He took his last breath after my mom blurted out “it’s okay honey, you can go if you need to, I will be okay!” After several moments he died and went to that beautiful place he had described to us before he died. RIP dad. 🙏♥️🦋
@@bayoubabe6698 What was that beautiful place he described. Can you share if it's okay for you? I am recently so much interested about life after death as recently my really loved one passed away and when I hear stuff like this it relieves me .
@muniyasallu, my deepest condolences to you. Grief can be brutal but what my dad left us with was so profound, especially in those last 10 days. At various times my dad would be sleeping, wake up and say (to no one in particular) “It’s so beautiful!”, “the colors are so magnificent!”, “the flowers have colors I’ve never seen!”, and at one point he said “I want to go home!” Other moments he would be barely audible and I could tell he was talking to family that had passed away. I believe my dad was having “visits” with them. I can’t remember him saying Heaven, but I believe that’s where he was at those times. Yes, Heaven, a place that he was calling “Home”. It was comforting to know my dad was in a beautiful place and I’ve always believed it was Heaven, that place! I find bird feathers, money on the ground and I sometimes see red Cardinals on a branch or flying past me. These always remind me of my dad and other loved ones who have passed. In 2023 I lost two dear friends, one in September and then one in October. The grief has never left but I keep the memories that are happy, funny or tender, in my heart and soul. I am spiritual, but not religious. I believe Heaven exists. I hope this is comforting for you🙏. Grief can be overwhelming at times. It’s been 32 years since my dad passed away but I know he is at “Home” and that is a gift of grief. My best regards to you 🌹
@@bayoubabe6698 That was really soothing to hear, thanks for the condolence 🙏. It's a great relief to know your loved one passing in the state of happiness and wanting to go there willingly on the other side of the world. It is an unseen world for us until we experience it. Thanks for sharing your experience. When my younger sister passed away.. it was a sudden death for our family, we are still unable to digest the fact that she is no more. I feel I got closer to god knowing that life is unpredictable!
@@muniyasalluMy Dear friend was with her husband as he was dying and he told her, Mary, it's so beautiful, so beautiful! Come with me, it's so beautiful! Those were his last words. A couple of minutes later he died with a smile on his face.❤
Most ppl are afraid to witness the end of life ( hospice ), but being in my brother's home with our siblings and his children, when he died, was one of the most beautiful and natural experiences of my life . I want to die just like that. Thank you for your channel
Our nurse explained that it was a natural process just like giving birth and it made me wonder why we don't have death classes like we do birth classes. That's when I did more online searching and found your videos. Thank you for your guidance.
@@sherylsaumer-nelson7332 The closest I got to such preparation was in high school. I went to private school, & one of our required classes was Death & Dying. We learned about stages people could go through in the dying process. It helped. I’ve mentioned this before to people who’ve never heard of this type of class or even knew any such thing existed, & they’d expressed amazement & wonder at why this isn’t taught in all schools.
Hi Julie, My dad passed away two days ago. I have watched your videos for a long time, and they really helped me understand what was happening as he passed. Thank you for spreading your knowledge and videos. You're truly an amazing person.
After my partner had his intake with his hospice case manager, the family completely misunderstood how those services would play out. They immediately took everything of value out of the house and left him completely alone! Thankfully, I returned home only after a short trip to the grocery store. Despite my best efforts I was unable to obtain any of their help with caregiving. After the nurse left, he was given pain management and was unconscious. He passed away the next morning. I think he knew it was time to go to a reunion in a better place. People will show their true colors at times like this. I cannot thank the hospice nurse enough for her keen sense of awareness and the compassion she showed me. She immediately noticed items missing from the home and made it a point to ask. My point is, it is never too early to start the conversation about death. I knew my partners wishes and he didn't really want his family there but I couldn't continue the caregiving solo. Bless all those who are caregivers!❤
Thank you Nurse Julie , when my mother was passing I was with her , the nurses on duty couldn’t believe it when I said she was dying. I’m not a nurse I’m a HCA for 18 years in a nursing home . Mam kept her eyes on me till the end , she had no rattling, I saw her colour changing and she had black fluid coming up her throat, I closed her eyes gently and told her I loved her . May she Rest in peace . Once again thank you so much for you great advice ❤😊
My dear mother passed away last Thursday, January 9th. Her condition mirrored so many things you taught me about. I knew the end was coming soon for at least a week. I mourn her passing but your videos really helped to understand the process. Thank you so much. Her hospice team were a blessing.
Julie, you are a gift to all of us. Thank you! My 5 sibling and I were around our mom as she was dying. At about 2:30am everyone was asleep with heads on each other’s shoulders except me. I had noticed how she wasn’t taking breaths as often so I started counting. It started at 15 seconds between and at the point when I counted one thousand (for the second) 120, I gently woke my brother and counted out loud quietly. All were awake now. My sister was an oncology/hospice nurse and I stood and went to Mom’s bedside while my sister checked her and confirmed she had died. We each took a quick turn whispering in her ear saying who we are and that we love her. It was like it was rehearsed but it was not. My sister being there was a blessing and kept us all calm. She showed my brother how to administer the morphine under her tongue and how to moisten her mouth with the swabs. She showed me the change in her toenails and explained that the discoloration moves up the body. At the fingernails it won’t be too long before she would die. It was all so easy but the death watch is what is exhausting and emotionally difficult. A little training (like 15 minutes) really makes a difference. And remind yourself that you are not part of time during this. Just remind yourself to stay calm. It is the last gift of love. ❤
All of this I experienced with my mother’s death and listen you Julie she knows! Try to remember they are going into paradise, I call it heaven and you will see them again ❤🙏🏼
You can absolutely take what Julie says in this video to the bank. She is spot on. My husband passed away little over a week ago. We were so fortunate in that our hospice nurse was scheduled to visit that day and was present when he went. If your hospice company has a grief coordinator on their staff, I would encourage everyone to seek them out. We actually did so a few months before he passed to help him process anything he felt was important to verbalize and talk about. It also helped both of us with our anticipatory grief. Our company offers her services up to a year after his passing which I know will be of great help to me.
This was me in this situation last night. My brother had pneumonia about 4 months ago and was diagnosed with lung cancer 2 months ago. He turned for the worse a week ago. The last 2 days was the worst and best for my family. The hospice nurse that was there helped us out greatly. Not only did we lost a family member but as a family we bonded even more together. My deceased brother was never alone and we appreciate all the nurses that helped us out. Thank you for your dedication to this profession.
My mommas team didn’t visit prior nor did they prepare us. They came for the death visit but didn’t give me any support or education on what to expect. She wasn’t fully unconscious. She was just in/out and couldn’t speak. My husband and I just sort of went on if she looked uncomfortable for when to give her medication because we didn’t know if she was uncomfortable. The death rattle was the worst though. The hospice doc didn’t order the medicine for that until the night before and it had to be ordered at the pharmacy. I just kept telling her that it was okay because what else can you do? I’m thankful for you because your videos got my husband and I through some of the most “scary” parts. ❤
I went through this with my mom. It was hard. Mom had a very long illness with cancer. Hospice nurses were amazing though, when mom went into hospice at home . Now, I not only have I lost my mom, but my dad, and brother. I hope I see them again.
You will if they and you believe in Jesus Christ as your personal savior. Read John, the gospel, in the New Testament of the Holy Bible if you have not already. God bless you!
Your videos helped me so much when my momma was dying. I gave mom sublingual morphine. It was comforting she was not in pain. Mom had the rattle for just a few minutes. We moved her on her side-ish, mainly for secretions. And I knew she was passing, so it was mainly to catch whatever came out. She died pretty quickly from the rattle start. Very merciful ending (and new beginning) for Mom. I cleaned up Mom afterward. Was an intimate, sacred feeling. Thank you.
The hospice nurse was with me and my mother when she passed. I asked the nurse is it normal for you to be here, she said no that in the ten years she had never been at the bedside when a patient passed. We laughed and cried because that’s who my mom was. Please let others know what will happen. I watched you before my mother passed so I was prepared but my sister and brother not so much and they are doctors. I think doctors know what will happen but not the boots on the ground kind of stuff that you are providing. Thank you, thank you❤️❤️❤️
When we lost our brother. So happy we had Hospice. We could stay for a long while. We clothed him and was able to be there for people to see him. There was no visitation at the funeral place. That time was needed.. When the funeral people came they took him down. He wanted a great a great go off. We set a firework... WOW. The funeral workers had never seen that.
The death rattle is nothing u can prepare someone for. It’s very scary. I was expecting it from my mom, it doesn’t help. It’s still just as devastating
I thought my dad was snoring. Hospice just said it was saliva and they had called in a prescription to dry it up. They did not tell us it was the death rattle. I left for work and was called an hour later that he had passed. I would have stayed if I had known. He had been talking and even ate breakfast that morning.
@@kareno7212I am sorry you thought you had more time. Every case is different and time is just a guess. I've had normal seeming residents go from walking everywhere along with eating and talking and such, to gone within an hour or two. I have also had residents where we didn't think they would make it an hour, let alone all night. But they lay there for days or weeks. It really sucks there is never a perfect time limit and it's always a guess 😭 going fast has always been a blessing, but I'm so sorry you did not get to be there!
@@kryssynation6366 Thank you. Yes we all thought we would have more time. Doctors thought 6 months only a week earlier. One week was really fast. But I’m really glad he didn’t linger and suffer, that would have been worse.
My amazing dad died 4 weeks ago today from pancreatic cancer after having only received his diagnosis 4 weeks prior to that date. He really changed physically in the last 24hrs and it was so dramatic that if I hadn't found this channel I would have been so worried. We were lucky that we had a wonderful night nurse with us. Dad had many of the end of life symptoms mentioned but had a peaceful last few minutes. We miss him every second of every day and will do for the rest of our lives. Thank you so much for explaining this often taboo subject. I don't think I could have coped without the knowledge I had.
Thank you for the message of BEING with your loved one at the end of life... No need to feel obligated to DO things, other than ensuring they are "clean, safe and comfortable."
Some years back, I witnessed a last breath of an "adopted" family members parent. It was right after they left. I was by the empty bed in her room. I just had this feeling and felt a departed sensation. I glanced at my watch stared at her and it had been 5 minutes so I called a nurse. She was actually in the hospital hospice unit. They came and then they returned 5 minutes later and pronounced her. Some family was out in the foyer but the nurse told them to stay put while they worked because there were a lot of them! I felt so privileged!😢
My daughter died while I went to 18:31 for breakfast. I stayed in the Nursing home room with my best friend but I fell asleep. Only15 minutes between aide and I changed him and put body in position. The nurse walked in and woke me up. Said your friend has passed. I felt bad, like you said. But I was relieved by your statement . Thank you!
"Sometimes people wait for everyone to leave the room before they die" Such a powerful statement. I would think death is more personal than eating or bathing. Thank you for sharing these videos!!
Dear Julie, Im writing from Argentina, Im so grateful to you. Unluckily, my mum died 8 years ago and I ignored all of this. She was ill for 5 years, I took care of her body and soul, she was the one I loved the most on Earth. The last 5 months I went to live to my parents house to be closer, she called me my guardian angel. Yet the last two days before her passing I was so so exhausted, I even wished she died 😢, only my body was there. I was told by a beloved assistant to talk randomly when close to mum for her not to be anxious, so I didnt even tell her good bye, Ive been feeling so guilty, that was so unfair for my angel. So I wasnt there entirely when she needed me the most. Yet she always knew I loved her immensely. With your video you have relieved a bit of my guilt feeling when I had no more strength. Thank you, Julie, what you do and the way you do it is essential. ❤❤❤
I think how you treat your loved ones during their life means a great deal more than who is or isn’t there for the final days or hours or what anyone says/doesn’t say, does or doesn’t do ❤
My mother is actively dying and this video has given both my father and me enormous valuable information during these 24 hrs and I even shared with our hospice nurse.You are a godsend Julie.
Hi nurse Julie i want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for all your videos. But especially this video. My Momma died Friday and I had been her care given for 5 years. Your video gave me comfort in knowing that I did all that I could for her and she did die a calm peaceful death. I held her while she died and talked to her until her last breath letting her know how much I love her and how it was ok for her to go that she had done a great job being my Momma. I wasn't scared by the changes in her breathing or body changes because you had prepared me for them. You are an angel and I really can't thank you enough for your videos and for you just being you.
Your videos are a God send to many of us. I felt very blessed that my husband was very aware of who was there, who had been there and even asked for certain ones during his active dying phase. I had been laying beside him most of the night and day prior to his death. At one point I went out to eat and when his son and I went in to check him we noticed that he was taking very deep breaths, his chest would rise very high. At that time I went out and called the hospice nurse, our children and his brothers. His son also set up a video call for out of town loved ones. We were all there as he took his last breath. I still remember him looking over his left shoulder and lifting his arms, as if to hug them. He brought my hand to his lips and kissed it then told me how much he loved me. He told me he had to go now, they were waiting for him. He said his final goodbye. I was at ease, but still feel all the emotions of that day. God Bless You for the comfort you bring to the families lives, during and even after the loved one has gone
I really love all the care you give to the patient on hospice to make their transition go smoothly and comfortably. And I love how hospice really cares about and assist the family to care for their loved one during this difficult time. Thank you.
Julie, you sure have helped me with your videos. I was diagnosed with GBS 4 years ago, and as you know it has been a rough ride for me and my long time wonderful wife. Thank you & God Bless you!
My family said to my grandpa that he can go and we will take care of my grandma. They love him and if he’s ready they love him and not to hold on for us. Within 7 mins he passed with family holding his hand and supporting him.
Thank you so much for your explanations! We just lost my Dad and he went through all of the phases you are describing here. After learning so much from you, I could explain to my mother that he was going through a normal process. Knowing that he wasn't suffering any pain helped tremendously, although it is heartbreaking to see a loved one slowly leave. As our family goes, we had the time to say everything we wanted to say and he passed peacefully early in the morning after falling into a coma during the night. He was cared for and surrounded by love throughout the entire process. To know that he had a dignified death makes losing him bearable.
Thank you so much Julie. Your videos help so many people. You've taught me so much as a carer. Please know your work makes such a huge difference, even all the way over in Ireland 🇮🇪 ❤
@@NikkiKavanagh68 Hello Dear, How is your day going,i hope you are having a wonderful time. I must confess you are Epitome of Beauty, No man born of a woman will see you and pass you by without taking a second thought of you. I really would love to be a friend if you don't mind, i hope to read from you, so we can get to know one another more better.
Thank you Julie. You helping my jorney with my Mom. I tell all the hospic people I watch you and many know you. They are grateful the I already know what to exspet because of your videos. Thanks again!
My husband didn't have the care we were told to expect. I wish he had someone like you Julie. I'm glad you're here to help others know what to expect and not be afraid.
Wonderful video❤ wish my dad had such a wonderful hospice nurse. Ours sorely failed, along with the care center nurse. Both ghosted him (us) the weekend and then Monday that he passed. I was so thankful to be with him that Sunday, but not monday. I would have if the nurses had done their job and checked in on him and kept me posted. Almost two years ago and still a struggle.
My mother is 94 years old and has been going downhill the last few weeks (expecially the last 4 or 5 days. We just had hospice come to take care of her and they said this is it. Most likely the last 24 to 48 hours. They said that she was rattling, I'm 4 hours away and getting ready to go see her for the last time.
Thank you for your videos. We went through this back in October and having the nurses help us understand the process made it very peaceful and calm for us. Knowledge is so powerful in this life process.
My mom died 3 and a half hours after getting her home on hospice. That was on Jan 2,2025. I couldn’t get her home on New Year’s Day because of hospice being short staffed on a holiday. At least she was at home and not in a hospital when she passed.
This video is comforting even though my parents passed a few years ago. I experienced everything you described. It was a precious time, and I am thankful I got to be there to accompany them on that final journey. Peace to you all❤
I am facing this currently and appreciate all the honest information. I haven't cried so hard as I did watching this video in a long time but I feel better prepared.
I want to thank you Nurse Julie thanks to you I was prepared for the changes and yes all that you are saying is true I experience it . Lost my father January 6 2025 it was hard he looked so peaceful he didn't look like he was suffering . Thank you again blessings to you
Thank you very much. Our mother just entered hospice. They are amazing! She is in a small group home. I’ve been watching your videos anticipating this. You really break it down in an understandable way. I will save them to share with my siblings. 😘😘😘
I love that you talk about how the end can feel sacred and precious. I was with my mom and grandfather when they both passed. There was something really beautiful about it. My mom lost her brother 30 yrs prior. They were incredibly close. My siblings kept telling her it was okay to go be with him. That was so comforting to us. My grandfather was 96. His 3 children had already passed and his 3 sisters. Again, I held his hand and told him to give everyone a big hug for us. He gave a little smile, looked right me with a little nod and was gone several minutes later.
Regarding skin color changes, back in 2002 I went to see a man at Calvary Hospital in the Bronx. Calvary is basically an in-patient hospice hospital, founded in the 19th century for "incurables." The patient was a dark-skinned black guy in his 60s. I hadn't seen him in about two weeks, and I surprised to discover that he had turned orange. He was still conscious at that point, and we joked about it. He assured me that he had not started using make-up, and if he had he certainly wouldn't have chosen that color. A couple of days later I went to visit him again. By this time he was actively dying and was no longer conscious, but his skin had returned to its normal color, at least in his face. I didn't check his extremities. I've been told that this kind of quick color change is perfectly normal, but it was surprising to me.
Julie, this is one of my favorite videos that you’ve shared. You explained so many things that I have thought about since the death of my loved ones. Thank you, thank you.
My dad died on the 11th of this month, we heared 2 days prior that my dad would most likely die in 2 or 3 days. He ate a small lunch, an hour later he just fell to one side in his wheelchair eyes rolled back.. the nurses put him in bed, he was knocked out from that point for about an hour, he suddenly started shouting which he did when he needed a nurse, we called the nurse and he had pooped and that was enough to wake him up just enough to notice. They cleaned him and also cleaned a decubitus wound in his crack, just like normal. From that point he was asleep, his eyes slowly opened bit by bit but there was no pupil reaction anymore. We knew he was out cold. His breaths got more noticable at some point he was trying to gasp for air, that fase ended, his breath got more interupted... at some point he was in an interuption, his eyes closed.. this time for good. The whole process from being in a wheelchair concious and death, was 4 and a half hours. I feel blessed he was given a quick and painless death, no death rattle, he just went to his final sleep peacefully. He was surrounded by the ones he loved. Yea, we are in mourning, but that's normal. In 7 and a half hours it will be 4 days exactly. I will forever miss the old man, he only reached the age of 78.
I have become a hospice nurse and I find it very rewarding. I love your videos and learn so much from you. You were an inspiration for me to start this phase of my nursing journey. Thank you!
Thank you so very much. Please keep doing these helpful videos. I recently experienced my son's hospice-assisted death (I am 89, he was 67). I agonized over each change (needlessly, it turns out) and now feel much more comfortable after watching several of your videos. Thank you.
My husband passed last Friday at 400.started at 800 pm his final breath , I wasn't scared but he was claiming and I listen to his heart it was beating so fast . unstable breathing then short breath .I think Jesus his eyes started closed rip charlie
Julie your videos are a Godsend. With your help and the help of my mom’s hospice nurses, I was able to do what I never thought I’d be able to do, watch my mom die. She fought cancer for over 71/2 years. We brought her home on hospice on a Monday. She was fully alert, signing documents and having conversations until Wednesday morning. She mumbled something that I couldn’t make out and became unresponsive. By Saturday she was gone. I had a big fear of being with her when she passed, but because of you, my bigger fear was the thought of her being alone when the time came.
Thank you so much Nurse Julie. Your videos were a tremendous help to me as I cared for my mom during home hospice. I still find comfort in listening to your videos as they serve as confirmation that I did all I could with the support of the wonderful hospice staff to ensure my mom’s last months and eventual passing were as comfortable and peaceful for her as possible. You are truly a blessing. ❤
Thank you so much for this important information and video. My Dad is in hospice now and nearing his final 24 hours. I’m grateful I saw this video today.
Thank you so much for helping me help my mom with her passing. 95 with dementia for 16 years. Mom was unconscious for several days before she passed. A week before she passed she was able to remember that I am her daughter and we spent a whole night talking and sharing love . The most beautiful part was my mom knew who I was before she died. Julie because of you I had no fear and was only surprised by a couple of things her body did😊 Thank you so very much ❤ Ma.. 7/8/1929~ 9/9/2024.
Julie, thank you so much for your videos. My mom has had a real decline in the last couple of weeks. I know it probably won't be to much longer, but it gets harder and harder to deal with. Your videos help with that a lot.
Thank you so much for this video. Everything you outlined I we t through and my Mom went through. She passed 9 months ago and although it was very hard to watch this video it explained a lot and reassured my feelings that I did my best. And that my Mom wasn’t suffering during the last 3 Days of her life!! You are an angel. Thank you so much! ❤❤
I wish I had this video when I went through this with my parents. Thank you this will definitely help people and I love your tone throughout the video. You’re very compassionate and comforting.
I lost my mom in May and I was blessed to be with her in the end. I wish that I had seen this video prior. I think that I was in a bit of denial and still shocked when she passed. It has been a bit difficult to watch this video because it is like a replay of what happened but it validates what I was witnessing. I wished that the hospice nurse had kept me better informed. 😢. I came into the room in the morning and could tell that she was very different than the night before. I called the hospice nurse and she said “Yeah, I was gonna call you…”. Anyhow, thank you for what you do. Anyone that has experienced this, you are strong. 🙏
honestly you vids have helped me I was there for both my mum and dad when they died, 15 and 7 years respectively, I didn't have the knowledge or support that I needed and hung on to that for a long time. Thank you
My mother was in a hospice room at the nursing home where she resided. The team and facility was outstanding. We had coffee and donuts in an adjacent room. And several chairs and a couch. As you said sitting on a straight chair waiting is quite stressful. The hospice personnel worked with us for the info on the funeral home and other paperwork for the death certificate. Again we knew it was the final hour(s). When the nurse told us she hasps passed and removed the support paraphernalia, we got to kiss her good bye in private. As the funeral home took her away it was a very solemn and yet poignant moment knowing she would be cremated and we would never again see her earthly form.
I work for Vitas in Florida as a CC hospice nurse ( continuous care) . Our company is wonderful. When our patients are actively dying, Vitas nurses will be there, in the patients home, around the clock to provide care to the patient and support the families. Home can be their private home or even a facility like a nursing home. Where ever they call home is where we go. A big part of our service is to provide family education through the process. Not all hospice services provide CC care. I wish they did.
This was very affirming to me. Because of you, we did everything right for my Uncle. He passed on November 21, 2024. Also, those green scrubs look great on you. 🥰
I spent 9 hours by my dad's bedside the day he died. I talked to him, sang to him, was just with him. Apparently he died of sepsis, and it was hard to watch with his difficulty and laboured, raspy breathing. He'd only been in for a day when he died. I told him it was ok to go because I knew it's what he would want my brother was dying of cancer and dad didn't want to outlive his kids. My sisters didn't come because dad had always perked up after we told to call everyone and they expected him to do it again. I could tell he wouldn't but after 9 hours I went home for the night. Id just gotten home when my older sister called and said he was gone, so I drove back to talk to them about arrangements and get his things. A few months later, when our brother was in hospice, again, the turn was very quick, but very peaceful. He wasn't quite unconscious yet because he smiled when I called him his nickname even though his eyes were closed. The next afternoon he waited until my sisters went out for a 10 minute break and quietly slipped away.
My MIL passed this past Thursday 1/16/2025 at our home. Nurse Julie helped us prepare much better than we would have done otherwise. Even with having hospice involved.
After many, many years of severe central & obstructive apnea and on a bipap, my husband actually was breathing very normally and quietly in his last 24 hours.
Personally, I found this to be one of the hardest times...even knowing what's obviously coming. It's the end of life for someone you love. Living through those final moments is torturous no matter how hard you try to prepare. It is the end. Hard to deal with
My Dad is almost at the end of his journey. He's had 24hr care at home since December 15th. Your videos are really helpful. Here in the UK some things are a bit different with regards to medication. Dad has heart failure and wasn't expected to see Christmas 2022, but here we are. Today is the first full day he has been unconscious but I still assume he can hear so I play his favourite music, chat to him and pray with him. It's been an exhausting but precious time and now he is resting waiting to move on to eternity. The community nurses and his carers have been so kind. I know that the British NHS is far from perfect but they are enabling Dad to have what he wanted - a dignified peaceful ending of his life on earth. ♥️
Thank you for all the advice. It helped me be more prepared. We were able to be there with our loved one at the end. He did, indeed, startle me twice after his “last” breath! It was a little harder to tell the very last moment than a movie. The signs were there that the end was near. We just kind of made a little joke of it. He had a good sense of humor during his life, so this was sort of fitting.
Mum moved from oral morphine to subcutmeds and she was IMMEDIATELY non verbal and sedated. It happened so fast, I wasn't prepared - one thing I feel people should know is if its a choice to go to the endow of life meds, it is the last chance to speak to them. Once that had started, she wasn't peaceful on waking -furrowed brow, death rattle, agitated, gesturing, trying to get out of bed, vocalising - this was intense and very upsetting. The palliative nurses guided me though ( we were at home ) and I was able to have 10 days with her, talking, crying, telling her how much I loved her, bringing in her little dog to sleep by her side. On the 9th day, it was needed to move her to the local hospital, as the meds were not able to hold her and she was still having strong bouts of restlessness and terminal agitation. I was preparing to go up to the hospital the next day and the nurse called me to let me know she has passed. I felt those last 9 days were magical - we played music, and she knew how deeply loved and cherished she was. We were a very close mother and daughter, as I am an only child. Mums wishes were her body was left for medical research - she had organised this 20 years ago with the local university and I was able to organise. The university was fabulous, very kind and caring and grateful for the donation.
Love your videos Julie and I have watched many of them. My poor hubby went through most of these symptoms before he passed. . The last 24hrs, the hospice team couldn't get hubby's pain under control . I called them at 11pm because he was moaning in agony and he needed the pain pump. and they told me to just keep giving him his Hydromorphone injections every hour and he would get the pump the next day. I had to give my hubby 9 syringes of Hydramorphone every hour before his moaning settled down and he slowly became unconscious. The one thing that really freaked me out, was his wide open eyes turned almost black, but apparently that is sometimes normal at death. .After a 5 year battle. I really thought that I was emotionally prepared for his eventual death. Boy was I wrong. I wasn't expecting or prepared for what I witnessed. His death in July is still so emotionally tough on me!
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My brother had a steep decline his last 5 days. Hospice was shocked how much he had declined in a couple of days. They told us he had 2-7 days left and educated us on liquid oral meds for pain and anxiety. He had been extremely restless the preceding day and night and we were glad he was getting some relief of this agitation. After the third dose of these meds he became unresponsive. I was sleeping in his room with him and had a timer wake me up to give him his meds the following morning. I noticed right away his breathing was very shallow but rapid. His hands were ice cold. No more than two minutes went by and his breathing rate began to slow significantly. Another couple of minutes he was gone. I felt like he was just waiting for me to wake and be with him as he passed. I told him I loved him just before his final two breaths. I will never forget that experience. Sacred. ♥️😢
So sorry for your pain. 😢
God bless you, you were there for him, with him. ❤ It was a journey you for you both, you were a good brother.
That was sacred, it's good you were with him, I think when your time comes he will be with you.
I stayed with my brother alot of his time with hospice. I noticed he had a death smell, and his hands were clamy to the touch. He had the death rattle. My Mom also died with hospice. I told both of them, "I loved them.
So sorry for your loss. ❤
I knew the end was very near for my husband dying of multiple myeloma. Hospice kept saying he had a week or two. I found this to be highly stressful going through the last days alone with my husband dying on a hospital bed in our livingroom in rural Montana. I had to call hospice several times to update his condition, all I had were Julie’s videos to help me. All my grown children live across the country. I just had to be brave and not fear death. Finally when his skin became mottled, barely had a blood pressure or heart rate, the hospice nurse came and said he would die very soon. I never had as much courage as I did the last 24 hours of my husband’s life. Thank you Julie for preparing me.
🙏🏻 I’m so sorry. I’m glad you felt brave! 💔🙏🏻
Hospice should of been with you more
You are so strong ❤
The youngest daughter of my best friend is a Hospice Nurse....and she will accompany my last days. Be there for me and my little family around the clock. Since I have cancer, this is a great comfort for me.
How blessed you are to have a close friend’s child to be with you. I will pray for you on your journey.
@@ABrors-gq7wu God Bless & give you Calm when it comes time to Go Home 🙏🏼
My husband passed away and I was shocked that I wasn’t scared. He didn’t wake up the day he passed, I laid on his chest and talked to him. The nurse came to check on him and I called her when he passed. Hospice is such a gift! ❤
I spent 10 days with my dad, before he passed. Those days were the most intense but loving moments. The day he passed, I had slept in the bed in his room. I could hear the nurses & my mom laughing. I looked at my sleeping dad and I knew this was the day he would die. I was briefly agitated at the laughter and chatter outside his room. I realized my mom was doing everything she could to NOT be in reality. My heart was hurting and heavy. He took his last breath after my mom blurted out “it’s okay honey, you can go if you need to, I will be okay!” After several moments he died and went to that beautiful place he had described to us before he died. RIP dad. 🙏♥️🦋
@@bayoubabe6698 What was that beautiful place he described. Can you share if it's okay for you?
I am recently so much interested about life after death as recently my really loved one passed away and when I hear stuff like this it relieves me .
@muniyasallu, my deepest condolences to you. Grief can be brutal but what my dad left us with was so profound, especially in those last 10 days. At various times my dad would be sleeping, wake up and say (to no one in particular) “It’s so beautiful!”, “the colors are so magnificent!”, “the flowers have colors I’ve never seen!”, and at one point he said “I want to go home!” Other moments he would be barely audible and I could tell he was talking to family that had passed away. I believe my dad was having “visits” with them. I can’t remember him saying Heaven, but I believe that’s where he was at those times. Yes, Heaven, a place that he was calling “Home”. It was comforting to know my dad was in a beautiful place and I’ve always believed it was Heaven, that place! I find bird feathers, money on the ground and I sometimes see red Cardinals on a branch or flying past me. These always remind me of my dad and other loved ones who have passed. In 2023 I lost two dear friends, one in September and then one in October. The grief has never left but I keep the memories that are happy, funny or tender, in my heart and soul. I am spiritual, but not religious. I believe Heaven exists.
I hope this is comforting for you🙏. Grief can be overwhelming at times. It’s been 32 years since my dad passed away but I know he is at “Home” and that is a gift of grief. My best regards to you 🌹
@@bayoubabe6698
That was really soothing to hear, thanks for the condolence 🙏.
It's a great relief to know your loved one passing in the state of happiness and wanting to go there willingly on the other side of the world. It is an unseen world for us until we experience it. Thanks for sharing your experience. When my younger sister passed away.. it was a sudden death for our family, we are still unable to digest the fact that she is no more. I feel I got closer to god knowing that life is unpredictable!
@@muniyasallu thank you for letting me know you read my comment. I’m happy to know you felt soothed🦋. Blessings and Peace to you always💟☮️
@@muniyasalluMy Dear friend was with her husband as he was dying and he told her, Mary, it's so beautiful, so beautiful! Come with me, it's so beautiful! Those were his last words. A couple of minutes later he died with a smile on his face.❤
Most ppl are afraid to witness the end of life ( hospice ), but being in my brother's home with our siblings and his children, when he died, was one of the most beautiful and natural experiences of my life . I want to die just like that. Thank you for your channel
Our nurse explained that it was a natural process just like giving birth and it made me wonder why we don't have death classes like we do birth classes. That's when I did more online searching and found your videos. Thank you for your guidance.
Great idea
I have wondered the same thing!
@@sherylsaumer-nelson7332
The closest I got to such preparation was in high school.
I went to private school, & one of our required classes was Death & Dying. We learned about stages people could go through in the dying process.
It helped.
I’ve mentioned this before to people who’ve never heard of this type of class or even knew any such thing existed, & they’d expressed amazement & wonder at why this isn’t taught in all schools.
Hi Julie,
My dad passed away two days ago. I have watched your videos for a long time, and they really helped me understand what was happening as he passed. Thank you for spreading your knowledge and videos. You're truly an amazing person.
@@travisgreve1177 - I’m so sorry for your loss. May his memory be a blessing.
Aw, sorry Julie. I hope you can carry on the love he had for you to your family.
❤
@@travisgreve1177 🙏🙏🙏
After my partner had his intake with his hospice case manager, the family completely misunderstood how those services would play out. They immediately took everything of value out of the house and left him completely alone! Thankfully, I returned home only after a short trip to the grocery store. Despite my best efforts I was unable to obtain any of their help with caregiving. After the nurse left, he was given pain management and was unconscious. He passed away the next morning. I think he knew it was time to go to a reunion in a better place. People will show their true colors at times like this. I cannot thank the hospice nurse enough for her keen sense of awareness and the compassion she showed me. She immediately noticed items missing from the home and made it a point to ask. My point is, it is never too early to start the conversation about death. I knew my partners wishes and he didn't really want his family there but I couldn't continue the caregiving solo. Bless all those who are caregivers!❤
Thank you Nurse Julie , when my mother was passing I was with her , the nurses on duty couldn’t believe it when I said she was dying. I’m not a nurse I’m a HCA for 18 years in a nursing home . Mam kept her eyes on me till the end , she had no rattling, I saw her colour changing and she had black fluid coming up her throat, I closed her eyes gently and told her I loved her . May she Rest in peace . Once again thank you so much for you great advice ❤😊
I am a 44 year old woman from NSW, Australia. Your videos helped me immensely during my mother’s actively dying journey. Thank you so much.
My dear mother passed away last Thursday, January 9th. Her condition mirrored so many things you taught me about. I knew the end was coming soon for at least a week. I mourn her passing but your videos really helped to understand the process. Thank you so much. Her hospice team were a blessing.
@@DennisMagdule hi
❤
🙏🏻 Sorry for your loss.
@@rhondathomas7952 hello Rhonda, how are you feeling ?
Julie, you are a gift to all of us. Thank you!
My 5 sibling and I were around our mom as she was dying. At about 2:30am everyone was asleep with heads on each other’s shoulders except me. I had noticed how she wasn’t taking breaths as often so I started counting. It started at 15 seconds between and at the point when I counted one thousand (for the second) 120, I gently woke my brother and counted out loud quietly. All were awake now. My sister was an oncology/hospice nurse and I stood and went to Mom’s bedside while my sister checked her and confirmed she had died. We each took a quick turn whispering in her ear saying who we are and that we love her. It was like it was rehearsed but it was not. My sister being there was a blessing and kept us all calm. She showed my brother how to administer the morphine under her tongue and how to moisten her mouth with the swabs. She showed me the change in her toenails and explained that the discoloration moves up the body. At the fingernails it won’t be too long before she would die. It was all so easy but the death watch is what is exhausting and emotionally difficult.
A little training (like 15 minutes) really makes a difference. And remind yourself that you are not part of time during this. Just remind yourself to stay calm. It is the last gift of love. ❤
All of this I experienced with my mother’s death and listen you Julie she knows! Try to remember they are going into paradise, I call it heaven and you will see them again ❤🙏🏼
Thank you for discussing how the end of life actually works. That’s a subject no one never speaks of.
You can absolutely take what Julie says in this video to the bank. She is spot on. My husband passed away little over a week ago. We were so fortunate in that our hospice nurse was scheduled to visit that day and was present when he went. If your hospice company has a grief coordinator on their staff, I would encourage everyone to seek them out. We actually did so a few months before he passed to help him process anything he felt was important to verbalize and talk about. It also helped both of us with our anticipatory grief. Our company offers her services up to a year after his passing which I know will be of great help to me.
So sorry for your loss.
@ thank you!!
@@LindaGillman-u7c hi
This was me in this situation last night. My brother had pneumonia about 4 months ago and was diagnosed with lung cancer 2 months ago. He turned for the worse a week ago. The last 2 days was the worst and best for my family. The hospice nurse that was there helped us out greatly. Not only did we lost a family member but as a family we bonded even more together. My deceased brother was never alone and we appreciate all the nurses that helped us out. Thank you for your dedication to this profession.
🙏🏻So sorry for your loss!
Oh no! I am so sorry for your loss. May God bless and keep you. 🙏
My mommas team didn’t visit prior nor did they prepare us. They came for the death visit but didn’t give me any support or education on what to expect. She wasn’t fully unconscious. She was just in/out and couldn’t speak. My husband and I just sort of went on if she looked uncomfortable for when to give her medication because we didn’t know if she was uncomfortable. The death rattle was the worst though. The hospice doc didn’t order the medicine for that until the night before and it had to be ordered at the pharmacy. I just kept telling her that it was okay because what else can you do? I’m thankful for you because your videos got my husband and I through some of the most “scary” parts. ❤
I went through this with my mom. It was hard. Mom had a very long illness with cancer. Hospice nurses were amazing though, when mom went into hospice at home . Now, I not only have I lost my mom, but my dad, and brother. I hope I see them again.
You will if they and you believe in Jesus Christ as your personal savior. Read John, the gospel, in the New Testament of the Holy Bible if you have not already. God bless you!
Your videos helped me so much when my momma was dying. I gave mom sublingual morphine. It was comforting she was not in pain. Mom had the rattle for just a few minutes. We moved her on her side-ish, mainly for secretions. And I knew she was passing, so it was mainly to catch whatever came out. She died pretty quickly from the rattle start. Very merciful ending (and new beginning) for Mom. I cleaned up Mom afterward. Was an intimate, sacred feeling. Thank you.
@lynn hello
The hospice nurse was with me and my mother when she passed. I asked the nurse is it normal for you to be here, she said no that in the ten years she had never been at the bedside when a patient passed. We laughed and cried because that’s who my mom was. Please let others know what will happen. I watched you before my mother passed so I was prepared but my sister and brother not so much and they are doctors. I think doctors know what will happen but not the boots on the ground kind of stuff that you are providing. Thank you, thank you❤️❤️❤️
When we lost our brother. So happy we had Hospice. We could stay for a long while. We clothed him and was able to be there for people to see him. There was no visitation at the funeral place. That time was needed.. When the funeral people came they took him down. He wanted a great a great go off. We set a firework... WOW. The funeral workers had never seen that.
That death rattle was really unsettling and hospice workers really need to prepare families for this.
The death rattle is nothing u can prepare someone for. It’s very scary. I was expecting it from my mom, it doesn’t help. It’s still just as devastating
I thought my dad was snoring. Hospice just said it was saliva and they had called in a prescription to dry it up. They did not tell us it was the death rattle. I left for work and was called an hour later that he had passed. I would have stayed if I had known. He had been talking and even ate breakfast that morning.
@@kareno7212I am sorry you thought you had more time. Every case is different and time is just a guess. I've had normal seeming residents go from walking everywhere along with eating and talking and such, to gone within an hour or two. I have also had residents where we didn't think they would make it an hour, let alone all night. But they lay there for days or weeks. It really sucks there is never a perfect time limit and it's always a guess 😭 going fast has always been a blessing, but I'm so sorry you did not get to be there!
@@kryssynation6366 Thank you. Yes we all thought we would have more time. Doctors thought 6 months only a week earlier. One week was really fast. But I’m really glad he didn’t linger and suffer, that would have been worse.
Of all your videos, this one is particularly epic. Thank you for what you're doing here on RUclips, Julie.
My amazing dad died 4 weeks ago today from pancreatic cancer after having only received his diagnosis 4 weeks prior to that date.
He really changed physically in the last 24hrs and it was so dramatic that if I hadn't found this channel I would have been so worried.
We were lucky that we had a wonderful night nurse with us.
Dad had many of the end of life symptoms mentioned but had a peaceful last few minutes.
We miss him every second of every day and will do for the rest of our lives.
Thank you so much for explaining this often taboo subject. I don't think I could have coped without the knowledge I had.
Im sorry. My mum only received her cancer prognosis a week before she died
🙏🏻so sorry.
Thank you for the message of BEING with your loved one at the end of life... No need to feel obligated to DO things, other than ensuring they are "clean, safe and comfortable."
Amen
Julie you are a godsend to families everywhere going thru this time Thank you from the bottom of my heart❤
@@BrigitteEvans-r2f hi
Some years back, I witnessed a last breath of an "adopted" family members parent. It was right after they left. I was by the empty bed in her room. I just had this feeling and felt a departed sensation. I glanced at my watch stared at her and it had been 5 minutes so I called a nurse. She was actually in the hospital hospice unit. They came and then they returned 5 minutes later and pronounced her. Some family was out in the foyer but the nurse told them to stay put while they worked because there were a lot of them!
I felt so privileged!😢
@@nancyclark271 hello
You are an amazing teacher, Julie. Thank you. I'm a retired surgical nurse.
@@aia1229 hi you must have done great during your work days.
My daughter died while I went to 18:31 for breakfast. I stayed in the Nursing home room with my best friend but I fell asleep. Only15 minutes between aide and I changed him and put body in position. The nurse walked in and woke me up. Said your friend has passed. I felt bad, like you said. But I was relieved by your statement . Thank you!
"Sometimes people wait for everyone to leave the room before they die"
Such a powerful statement.
I would think death is more personal than eating or bathing.
Thank you for sharing these videos!!
Dear Julie, Im writing from Argentina, Im so grateful to you. Unluckily, my mum died 8 years ago and I ignored all of this. She was ill for 5 years, I took care of her body and soul, she was the one I loved the most on Earth. The last 5 months I went to live to my parents house to be closer, she called me my guardian angel. Yet the last two days before her passing I was so so exhausted, I even wished she died 😢, only my body was there. I was told by a beloved assistant to talk randomly when close to mum for her not to be anxious, so I didnt even tell her good bye, Ive been feeling so guilty, that was so unfair for my angel. So I wasnt there entirely when she needed me the most. Yet she always knew I loved her immensely. With your video you have relieved a bit of my guilt feeling when I had no more strength. Thank you, Julie, what you do and the way you do it is essential. ❤❤❤
I think how you treat your loved ones during their life means a great deal more than who is or isn’t there for the final days or hours or what anyone says/doesn’t say, does or doesn’t do ❤
@tiffcat1100 I thank you very much ♥️🌺. I just wanted to go all the way with her, but I couldn't.
My mother is actively dying and this video has given both my father and me enormous valuable information during these 24 hrs and I even shared with our hospice nurse.You are a godsend Julie.
@@ruthjocaccivajjio274 My mom is actively dying right now too. Sending much love to you!
Hi nurse Julie i want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for all your videos. But especially this video. My Momma died Friday and I had been her care given for 5 years. Your video gave me comfort in knowing that I did all that I could for her and she did die a calm peaceful death. I held her while she died and talked to her until her last breath letting her know how much I love her and how it was ok for her to go that she had done a great job being my Momma. I wasn't scared by the changes in her breathing or body changes because you had prepared me for them. You are an angel and I really can't thank you enough for your videos and for you just being you.
My condolences on the passing of your mom. So glad you could be there, in love, with her.
@@marlycecelle4660 hello
Your videos are a God send to many of us. I felt very blessed that my husband was very aware of who was there, who had been there and even asked for certain ones during his active dying phase. I had been laying beside him most of the night and day prior to his death. At one point I went out to eat and when his son and I went in to check him we noticed that he was taking very deep breaths, his chest would rise very high. At that time I went out and called the hospice nurse, our children and his brothers. His son also set up a video call for out of town loved ones. We were all there as he took his last breath. I still remember him looking over his left shoulder and lifting his arms, as if to hug them. He brought my hand to his lips and kissed it then told me how much he loved me. He told me he had to go now, they were waiting for him. He said his final goodbye. I was at ease, but still feel all the emotions of that day. God Bless You for the comfort you bring to the families lives, during and even after the loved one has gone
@mary hello
I really love all the care you give to the patient on hospice to make their transition go smoothly and comfortably. And I love how hospice really cares about and assist the family to care for their loved one during this difficult time. Thank you.
Julie, you sure have helped me with your videos. I was diagnosed with GBS 4 years ago, and as you know it has been a rough ride for me and my long time wonderful wife. Thank you & God Bless you!
Julie, I thank you from my heart for passing on this important information to all of us. Truly appreciate your wisdom ❤️🩹
My family said to my grandpa that he can go and we will take care of my grandma. They love him and if he’s ready they love him and not to hold on for us. Within 7 mins he passed with family holding his hand and supporting him.
Thank you so much for your explanations! We just lost my Dad and he went through all of the phases you are describing here. After learning so much from you, I could explain to my mother that he was going through a normal process. Knowing that he wasn't suffering any pain helped tremendously, although it is heartbreaking to see a loved one slowly leave. As our family goes, we had the time to say everything we wanted to say and he passed peacefully early in the morning after falling into a coma during the night. He was cared for and surrounded by love throughout the entire process. To know that he had a dignified death makes losing him bearable.
Thank you so much Julie. Your videos help so many people. You've taught me so much as a carer. Please know your work makes such a huge difference, even all the way over in Ireland 🇮🇪 ❤
@@NikkiKavanagh68 Hello Dear, How is your day going,i hope you are having a wonderful time. I must confess you are Epitome of Beauty, No man born of a woman will see you and pass you by without taking a second thought of you. I really would love to be a friend if you don't mind, i hope to read from you, so we can get to know one another more better.
Thank you Julie. You helping my jorney with my Mom. I tell all the hospic people I watch you and many know you. They are grateful the I already know what to exspet because of your videos. Thanks again!
My husband didn't have the care we were told to expect. I wish he had someone like you Julie. I'm glad you're here to help others know what to expect and not be afraid.
Wonderful video❤ wish my dad had such a wonderful hospice nurse. Ours sorely failed, along with the care center nurse. Both ghosted him (us) the weekend and then Monday that he passed. I was so thankful to be with him that Sunday, but not monday. I would have if the nurses had done their job and checked in on him and kept me posted. Almost two years ago and still a struggle.
@chery hello
you always do such a great job explaining difficult things simply and with compassion. you are a real treasure. thanks.
God bless you Julie for imparting the knowledge that we all need to know. Blessings and prayers...
@@DebraHaskins-r7y hi
My mother is 94 years old and has been going downhill the last few weeks (expecially the last 4 or 5 days. We just had hospice come to take care of her and they said this is it. Most likely the last 24 to 48 hours. They said that she was rattling, I'm 4 hours away and getting ready to go see her for the last time.
@dennis hello
Thank you for your videos. We went through this back in October and having the nurses help us understand the process made it very peaceful and calm for us. Knowledge is so powerful in this life process.
My mom died 3 and a half hours after getting her home on hospice. That was on Jan 2,2025. I couldn’t get her home on New Year’s Day because of hospice being short staffed on a holiday. At least she was at home and not in a hospital when she passed.
I wish you whatever brings you peace and comfort at this difficult time. ❤
Thank you Julie ❤️
i wish i had you as a resource when my dad was dying. you are so helpful. thank you so much. 💜💜💜
This video is comforting even though my parents passed a few years ago. I experienced everything you described. It was a precious time, and I am thankful I got to be there to accompany them on that final journey. Peace to you all❤
This is so helpful. I wish you were on RUclips when my mom was dying.
@@janetbooth7917 hi
I am facing this currently and appreciate all the honest information. I haven't cried so hard as I did watching this video in a long time but I feel better prepared.
I feel like this is your best video yet. It’s a very scary time for family and caregivers. Thank you.
I want to thank you Nurse Julie thanks to you I was prepared for the changes and yes all that you are saying is true I experience it . Lost my father January 6 2025 it was hard he looked so peaceful he didn't look like he was suffering .
Thank you again blessings to you
@jessy hello
Thank you very much. Our mother just entered hospice. They are amazing! She is in a small group home. I’ve been watching your videos anticipating this. You really break it down in an understandable way. I will save them to share with my siblings. 😘😘😘
@@RobinSWAFA hello
I love that you talk about how the end can feel sacred and precious. I was with my mom and grandfather when they both passed. There was something really beautiful about it. My mom lost her brother 30 yrs prior. They were incredibly close. My siblings kept telling her it was okay to go be with him. That was so comforting to us.
My grandfather was 96. His 3 children had already passed and his 3 sisters. Again, I held his hand and told him to give everyone a big hug for us. He gave a little smile, looked right me with a little nod and was gone several minutes later.
Regarding skin color changes, back in 2002 I went to see a man at Calvary Hospital in the Bronx. Calvary is basically an in-patient hospice hospital, founded in the 19th century for "incurables." The patient was a dark-skinned black guy in his 60s. I hadn't seen him in about two weeks, and I surprised to discover that he had turned orange. He was still conscious at that point, and we joked about it. He assured me that he had not started using make-up, and if he had he certainly wouldn't have chosen that color. A couple of days later I went to visit him again. By this time he was actively dying and was no longer conscious, but his skin had returned to its normal color, at least in his face. I didn't check his extremities. I've been told that this kind of quick color change is perfectly normal, but it was surprising to me.
My sister died in Calvary. I was with her when she transitioned. She died quietly without discomfort.
Julie, this is one of my favorite videos that you’ve shared. You explained so many things that I have thought about since the death of my loved ones. Thank you, thank you.
@betsy hello
My dad died on the 11th of this month, we heared 2 days prior that my dad would most likely die in 2 or 3 days. He ate a small lunch, an hour later he just fell to one side in his wheelchair eyes rolled back.. the nurses put him in bed, he was knocked out from that point for about an hour, he suddenly started shouting which he did when he needed a nurse, we called the nurse and he had pooped and that was enough to wake him up just enough to notice. They cleaned him and also cleaned a decubitus wound in his crack, just like normal.
From that point he was asleep, his eyes slowly opened bit by bit but there was no pupil reaction anymore. We knew he was out cold.
His breaths got more noticable at some point he was trying to gasp for air, that fase ended, his breath got more interupted... at some point he was in an interuption, his eyes closed.. this time for good.
The whole process from being in a wheelchair concious and death, was 4 and a half hours.
I feel blessed he was given a quick and painless death, no death rattle, he just went to his final sleep peacefully. He was surrounded by the ones he loved.
Yea, we are in mourning, but that's normal. In 7 and a half hours it will be 4 days exactly. I will forever miss the old man, he only reached the age of 78.
My nana was awake when she died, there was no coma phase. My mom and I were there.. thank you for these videos, Julie.
My brother only lived 36 hours after we got him home in January 2024. I didn’t know what was going until I saw your videos after he passed.
We were so lucky with my dad. The nurse did stay the final 24
I have become a hospice nurse and I find it very rewarding. I love your videos and learn so much from you. You were an inspiration for me to start this phase of my nursing journey. Thank you!
@mary hi
Thank you so very much. Please keep doing these helpful videos. I recently experienced my son's hospice-assisted death (I am 89, he was 67). I agonized over each change (needlessly, it turns out) and now feel much more comfortable after watching several of your videos. Thank you.
@@maryannjacobs2084 hi I really would love to be a friend if you don't mind, i hope to read from you, so we can get to know one another more better.
My husband passed last Friday at 400.started at 800 pm his final breath , I wasn't scared but he was claiming and I listen to his heart it was beating so fast . unstable breathing then short breath .I think Jesus his eyes started closed rip charlie
Julie your videos are a Godsend. With your help and the help of my mom’s hospice nurses, I was able to do what I never thought I’d be able to do, watch my mom die. She fought cancer for over 71/2 years. We brought her home on hospice on a Monday. She was fully alert, signing documents and having conversations until Wednesday morning. She mumbled something that I couldn’t make out and became unresponsive. By Saturday she was gone. I had a big fear of being with her when she passed, but because of you, my bigger fear was the thought of her being alone when the time came.
@carolyn hello
My Dad passed a year ago on the 10th of January. Your videos helped me. Thank you.
Thank you so much Nurse Julie. Your videos were a tremendous help to me as I cared for my mom during home hospice. I still find comfort in listening to your videos as they serve as confirmation that I did all I could with the support of the wonderful hospice staff to ensure my mom’s last months and eventual passing were as comfortable and peaceful for her as possible. You are truly a blessing. ❤
Thank you so much for this important information and video. My Dad is in hospice now and nearing his final 24 hours. I’m grateful I saw this video today.
Thank you so much for helping me help my mom with her passing. 95 with dementia for 16 years. Mom was unconscious for several days before she passed. A week before she passed she was able to remember that I am her daughter and we spent a whole night talking and sharing love . The most beautiful part was my mom knew who I was before she died. Julie because of you I had no fear and was only surprised by a couple of things her body did😊 Thank you so very much ❤
Ma.. 7/8/1929~ 9/9/2024.
@rene hello
The book provided by hospice “Gone from my sight” is an outstanding educational tool
Julie, thank you so much for your videos. My mom has had a real decline in the last couple of weeks. I know it probably won't be to much longer, but it gets harder and harder to deal with. Your videos help with that a lot.
@vickie hello
Thank you Julie. I am learning so much with you, You have helped so many people that is a fact and you really are an Angel.
Thank you so much for this video. Everything you outlined I we t through and my Mom went through.
She passed 9 months ago and although it was very hard to watch this video it explained a lot and reassured my feelings that I did my best. And that my Mom wasn’t suffering during the last 3 Days of her life!! You are an angel. Thank you so much! ❤❤
God bless you honey, and you are absolutely correct.
@@Patti-iz6yn hi
I wish I had this video when I went through this with my parents. Thank you this will definitely help people and I love your tone throughout the video. You’re very compassionate and comforting.
I lost my mom in May and I was blessed to be with her in the end. I wish that I had seen this video prior. I think that I was in a bit of denial and still shocked when she passed. It has been a bit difficult to watch this video because it is like a replay of what happened but it validates what I was witnessing. I wished that the hospice nurse had kept me better informed. 😢. I came into the room in the morning and could tell that she was very different than the night before. I called the hospice nurse and she said “Yeah, I was gonna call you…”. Anyhow, thank you for what you do. Anyone that has experienced this, you are strong. 🙏
honestly you vids have helped me I was there for both my mum and dad when they died, 15 and 7 years respectively, I didn't have the knowledge or support that I needed and hung on to that for a long time. Thank you
My mother was in a hospice room at the nursing home where she resided. The team and facility was outstanding. We had coffee and donuts in an adjacent room. And several chairs and a couch. As you said sitting on a straight chair waiting is quite stressful. The hospice personnel worked with us for the info on the funeral home and other paperwork for the death certificate. Again we knew it was the final hour(s). When the nurse told us she hasps passed and removed the support paraphernalia, we got to kiss her good bye in private.
As the funeral home took her away it was a very solemn and yet poignant moment knowing she would be cremated and we would never again see her earthly form.
I work for Vitas in Florida as a CC hospice nurse ( continuous care) . Our company is wonderful. When our patients are actively dying, Vitas nurses will be there, in the patients home, around the clock to provide care to the patient and support the families. Home can be their private home or even a facility like a nursing home. Where ever they call home is where we go. A big part of our service is to provide family education through the process. Not all hospice services provide CC care. I wish they did.
One of your best yet
@@cindyvincent9943 hi
This was very affirming to me. Because of you, we did everything right for my Uncle. He passed on November 21, 2024. Also, those green scrubs look great on you. 🥰
Thanks!
Such good information. I wish I had this resource when my mother died, but oddly it’s still a comfort to know five years later.
I spent 9 hours by my dad's bedside the day he died. I talked to him, sang to him, was just with him. Apparently he died of sepsis, and it was hard to watch with his difficulty and laboured, raspy breathing. He'd only been in for a day when he died. I told him it was ok to go because I knew it's what he would want my brother was dying of cancer and dad didn't want to outlive his kids. My sisters didn't come because dad had always perked up after we told to call everyone and they expected him to do it again. I could tell he wouldn't but after 9 hours I went home for the night. Id just gotten home when my older sister called and said he was gone, so I drove back to talk to them about arrangements and get his things. A few months later, when our brother was in hospice, again, the turn was very quick, but very peaceful. He wasn't quite unconscious yet because he smiled when I called him his nickname even though his eyes were closed. The next afternoon he waited until my sisters went out for a 10 minute break and quietly slipped away.
@@valeriegordon3000 hi
My MIL passed this past Thursday 1/16/2025 at our home. Nurse Julie helped us prepare much better than we would have done otherwise. Even with having hospice involved.
Thank you, thank you, thank you!
After many, many years of severe central & obstructive apnea and on a bipap, my husband actually was breathing very normally and quietly in his last 24 hours.
@@TresaRoseS hi
Personally, I found this to be one of the hardest times...even knowing what's obviously coming. It's the end of life for someone you love. Living through those final moments is torturous no matter how hard you try to prepare. It is the end. Hard to deal with
My Dad is almost at the end of his journey. He's had 24hr care at home since December 15th. Your videos are really helpful. Here in the UK some things are a bit different with regards to medication. Dad has heart failure and wasn't expected to see Christmas 2022, but here we are. Today is the first full day he has been unconscious but I still assume he can hear so I play his favourite music, chat to him and pray with him. It's been an exhausting but precious time and now he is resting waiting to move on to eternity. The community nurses and his carers have been so kind. I know that the British NHS is far from perfect but they are enabling Dad to have what he wanted - a dignified peaceful ending of his life on earth. ♥️
I have seen so many pass , I've taken care of both my parents til they passed, it was so hard.
You are such an Angel! Thank you ❤
Hello Julie thanks for sharing my mother passed away this morning in Hospice 😢❤
Thank you for all the advice. It helped me be more prepared. We were able to be there with our loved one at the end. He did, indeed, startle me twice after his “last” breath! It was a little harder to tell the very last moment than a movie. The signs were there that the end was near. We just kind of made a little joke of it. He had a good sense of humor during his life, so this was sort of fitting.
Mum moved from oral morphine to subcutmeds and she was IMMEDIATELY non verbal and sedated. It happened so fast, I wasn't prepared - one thing I feel people should know is if its a choice to go to the endow of life meds, it is the last chance to speak to them. Once that had started, she wasn't peaceful on waking -furrowed brow, death rattle, agitated, gesturing, trying to get out of bed, vocalising - this was intense and very upsetting. The palliative nurses guided me though ( we were at home ) and I was able to have 10 days with her, talking, crying, telling her how much I loved her, bringing in her little dog to sleep by her side. On the 9th day, it was needed to move her to the local hospital, as the meds were not able to hold her and she was still having strong bouts of restlessness and terminal agitation. I was preparing to go up to the hospital the next day and the nurse called me to let me know she has passed. I felt those last 9 days were magical - we played music, and she knew how deeply loved and cherished she was. We were a very close mother and daughter, as I am an only child. Mums wishes were her body was left for medical research - she had organised this 20 years ago with the local university and I was able to organise. The university was fabulous, very kind and caring and grateful for the donation.
Love your videos Julie and I have watched many of them. My poor hubby went through most of these symptoms before he passed. . The last 24hrs, the hospice team couldn't get hubby's pain under control . I called them at 11pm because he was moaning in agony and he needed the pain pump. and they told me to just keep giving him his Hydromorphone injections every hour and he would get the pump the next day. I had to give my hubby 9 syringes of Hydramorphone every hour before his moaning settled down and he slowly became unconscious. The one thing that really freaked me out, was his wide open eyes turned almost black, but apparently that is sometimes normal at death. .After a 5 year battle. I really thought that I was emotionally prepared for his eventual death. Boy was I wrong. I wasn't expecting or prepared for what I witnessed. His death in July is still so emotionally tough on me!
@suzie hello
Jimmy Carter was
relaxed all right 🫢
your advice is life changing. thank you - bless you.
@@blissiimo2064 hi