What? You've got to be kidding me.That's the funniest question to ask in the comments section. I don't know how to answer that. Lol. The award for best question goes to.. Psych2Go.
My dad was not the kind of guy to needlessly raise his hand or his voice, he is actually a pretty nice guy who believes in operating on principle. But I insulted mom once during an argument we were having while dad was not only in earshot but in Range. I saw stars for a second and I don't think I have insulted mom since 😂
"Don't mourn over someone who changes all of a sudden, it could be that they stopped acting, and returned to their true self." - Socrates (c. 470 B.C. - 399 B.C.)
Definitely really relatable. I had a friend who just seemed to have switched within the span of a day. One day he was nice. The next he just pretended like I didn’t exist. He and a friend of mine remained in contact after that. But he ended up doing the same to that friend.
˗ˏˋ Timestamps ´ˎ˗ 1) 0:42- They only respect people with power 2) 1:25- They pretend to try to please everyone 3) 2:00- They desperately seek attention 4) 2:35- They gossip and talk behind your back 5) 3:03- They disappear when you need them the most 6) 3:36- They avoid questions about themselves Have a great day!
Because it's easy to cheer for someone with no investment and responsibility towards that person. But being there for someone during hard times means that you actually have to invest your time and perhaps even money to help that person. Fake nice people are not interested in your problems.
I relate to some of these points because I've always been scared of making people disappointed/angry/offended. I used to keep my mouth shut whenever someone did something wrong to me because I didn't want them to suddenly scream at me. Also, I was obsessed with the idea of being liked by everyone. I thought "If someone doesn't like me, it's MY fault for being myself", and that is why I tried to contain myself. When I make favors to friends, it's because I hope they won't find me rude and suddenly leave. But now that I'm in therapy, everything is getting easier. I'm trying to be myself, express my opinions without feeling guilty or dumb, and it's ok if others don't like me for the way that I am. I still have a hard time accepting myself, but I'm slowly working on it.
I'm in the same exact boat. I am so afraid of rejection and of people being angry with me that I'm constantly trying to be the best friend I can be to everyone and end up making a ton of commitments that drive me crazy. I can't ever do all of them. So people who count on me tend to become disappointed, and it makes me feel even worse...I thought it was just because I was a nice person and enjoy making people happy, which I do. But I also realize it's that need to be liked and not rejected...yeesh. I appreciate people like you being honest and posting these comments. It really helped me out.
@@jaytastic4676 Thank you! I wish you the best as well. I hope you will be able to focus on yourself more instead of worrying about other's needs all the time. If I have to be even more honest, sometimes I help people because it feels natural, others because it's more "convenient".
I’m also the same way, unfortunately this is how I also feel about therapy not only people.I’m scared of therapy I cried and said no when I had a choice to go
I’m starting to see a lot of this in myself lately, but only around certain people. I keep switching from telling myself that I’m a bad friend for it, to just going with it.
I feel the same way. It's tough trying to be good to people, even certain people but ask yourself what kind of person do I want to be? For other people or myself. You have to choose to flip the switch and make yourself a good friend to somebody else. It's not worth it to only certain people it should be for all people. You can be a good friend you just have to love your neighbor as yourself. Don't beat yourself up because you may be a bad friend. It's not too late to be a good friend to someone else.
I watched the video as I'm not sure if I have these signs, I've been helping a lot of people these days. I don't know why, but I have some motivation to do things, and helping people makes me super happy, and some of these helps also helps myself as well. I hope that motivation remains longer, as I've been procrastinating through the year.
Yes me too..only around a certain friend of mine but last week i confronted them about it. They said they knew it from the start 😭 ( we were both kind of using eachother) i asked why didn't u do anything they said it didn't bother them. I really like them as a friend but I knew I cannot be their 'best friends '
For me it is the very first aforesaid trait which adheres to my character the most, but that conduct roots from my past mistakes which I used to live with accordingly hitherto, until I adapted better philosophies. Although I sometimes may make the same mistake anew, I am learning to treat and favor everyone equally in spite of their achievements, job position or socioeconomic status.
@@mysterymachine94 Me too! They act like friends & are concerned, but they are only looking at the angle of how my hard times are going to affect them. It's better just to fake like everything is ok at work. Better to call your mom or a friend when you get home.
I think to an extent at work. However, if you're just plain disrespectful at work to everyone except your bosses, talk shit about everyone, try to make things about yourself constantly, etc. Then, it's a no from me. If you avoid questions about yourself, I do think that's completely fine but, a lot of these have tendencies for toxic coworkers and I know that almost my entire work staff is like this. So, I disagree with it only applying to friends. I think it applies to anyone if the shoe fits! It also depends on the type of shoe (in terms of experiences and perspectives).
I'm a fake nice person but not to this extent , I just try to always smile and be nice to people not to please them but just because I don't want to be rude and if I don't smile at everyone whenever they say something to me they look at me weirdly i used to get comments like " you're gonna become a serial killer in the futur " or "with that cold face of yours no one will ever bother you on the streets " I don't mind them anymore but being nice just became a reflex even when I'm at my lowest
That actually sounds like being a decent and polite human being. I worked with people who wanted to be "honest" and treat people according about how they feel about them (usually see them as inferior) and is very harmful. That lead to a lot of emotional and verbal abuse from their part.
"Discretion is the better part of valor." ~So many have been accused of saying it, I've lost track now... ...BUT it's true. The quality of being discrete about things is very simply "knowing when to speak out, and when to keep things to yourself"... OR more simply, "Choose your battles wisely." In society (as opposed to warfare) we have this quality called "being polite", which isn't to say you instantly act like you LOVE everybody... but rather than you have this specific level of courtesy, friendliness, and respect that you extend to most everyone around you without any regard to their station in life, background, or status. Some folks go out of their way to show more respect and courtesy, or to be more friendly to everyone, and they often hope that helps them avoid the hazards of angering "dangerous people"... BUT literally anyone can be dangerous... AND it's exhausting being too kind and too friendly to EVERYONE around you. You can't get anything said or done if there's no room to simply explain, "Look, just get out of my way. I've got sh*t to do today, and it doesn't leave a bunch of time for screwing around here." ...There really ARE some people just THAT oblivious to the goings-on of others. As long as it's a forgone conclusion that "Not everyone is going to like you." anyways... WHY waste so much time and effort and energy? It's okay to lower the bar (figuratively) to remain polite, but stay reasonable for yourself. You DO still matter, and if someone else simply doesn't like that, then it's THEIR problem, not yours. I still get comments (from time to time) like, "Someone's going to think you're a serial killer with that face." ...AND the last time someone said that, I retorted "Well, I did knife a box of Cheerios this morning, soooo...." ...Got a pretty good roll of chuckles out of the crowd with that one... ;o)
I am scared of being rejected by people; I try to be nice but I'm worried of everyone relying on me.. I've had a lot of crappy friends and I try my best to be a good friend because I know what it's like to have those friends and I want people to have good experience around me.
i think that is different.. thats an insecurity. its not because you’re mean. fake nice peolpe usually are people with a lot of confidence.. but they want people to adore them
It's funny, how I watch these videos to cheer myself, but every time I end up feeling anxious. I start asking myself different questions. Who I really am? Do I even know the real me? Am I actually a good person? This thoughts scare me. This whole situation scares me. And the worst thing is that I'm scared of myself
The question to ask yourself Is What kind of person do I want to be? For others or for myself. Don't be afraid to ask yourself questions and look for the answers you're looking for. Ask yourself also, Am I a good person? Or am I just questioning my own judgment because of the influence of others. Don't be scared of yourself. I was that way by beating myself up that wasted two years of my life and now I don't have to be scared because I overcame beating myself up of what I discovered about different bands in my case and it just rewired my brain like it was damaged. If people don't know the real you, show them who you really are. Build up confidence with yourself to have control what you think you aren't in control of. You got this! You just have to believe in yourself. Don't let these thoughts make you think any different.
You've fallen in the trap of criticizing people just to feel better about yourself. Real peace and wholesomeness comes from being uncritical of others, not the other way around. Criticize people's actions openly and bluntly after they've done something stupid, bring down their actions, not their person. If you are not going to say anything THEN and THERE, what is the point of labeling, putting people inside boxes and attacking the person that they are afterwards for years on end, just to make yourself seem better by comparison ..thats like making yourself seem better, but without actually making it better.
when I feel anxious and I get asked questions that make me more anxious to be thinking about, I use the technique of turning the question around on the other person so that they aren’t curious about me and then they focus on themselves. It’s actually a great technique when your in a situation you don’t want to be in or talk about.
I agree with some of these things, but I think you have to be careful suggesting that numbers 2 and 6 are the result of someone being "fake nice". 6 could just mean the person is introverted or shy, or perhaps they grew up being told that they weren't interesting enough, so it's better if they don't talk about themselves. 2 doesn't mean the person is fake nice. It's actually common for people with ADHD to take on more work than they can handle, fully intending to help those people, and then realizing after that they offered to help too many and can't fulfill their promise. It's not them being "fake nice". It's a product of having ADHD. Like I said, I agree with some of the points in this video, but I'm really not feeling this one overall. It feels like a chance for someone to misunderstand the actions of another person and label them toxic unfairly (at least in the cases of 2 and 6).
ikr? I do no.2 all the time not because I want to be liked by others but to not tl be coated by rudeness, selfishness and the fear that I didn't contribute enough to something. Also yeah ADHD is a factor too.
"They disappear when you need them the most" is such a double-edged sword, mainly because the opposite can happen too. Some of them relish in the idea of being needed, of being the knight in shining armor, being depended upon. They feel the power and the thought that they can solve the other person's issues, and when that person is doing good, they suddenly wish to remind them of the worse stuff and wish to bring them down. I am saying this because I was that guy when it came to someone who broke my heart and still remained friends. Them doing good in life felt like a threat to future prospects for me and them, and them doing bad meant "now it is my time to shine!" I hate this feeling mainly because I wish to be happy for them, but I wish to be happy with them and them to be happy with me, share in it, relish in it, making it into an "us" thing. All in all, I am telling you this so you can be aware of it too and try to see if there is someone in your life who is like that, or if you are that person yourself. The "I can fix them" mentality.
The "I can fix them" mentality is definately not bad. Its perfectly healthy to bring people down for who they are and remind them that they need to change everyday, it also helps to remind them of your own faults and to compare their worsts to other people's best days. Distant looks perfect, cracks are only seen up-close. Thats how you get long lasting relationship, by making sure the other is as miserable as an be.
Omg, It’s about my childhood friend. It took a long time to figure out what kind of person she really is. It’s very upsetting when life makes you realize these things about close friends.
I relate to this...childhood friends hit different. If it's someone you met as an adult, sure whatever I'll be over it soon enough. It's taken me a while to see those people's true colours sadly. Length of time you've known somebody doesn't equal to chosen family is the lesson 😓
One of my ex friends kept talking behind my back on the bus where all my other friends were and my friends told me about it, that’s how you know you have good friends
Question yourself, what kind of person do I want to be? For other people or for myself. Don't go above and beyond to be nice to someone or try to impress them because all they're gonna do is expect more out of you. The people you're with is who you're gonna become. Don't be around those people who will wear a mask in front of you:) They're not worth it. You're worth it more than the other fake people out there. Have a great day! Stay true Psych2goers!
Holy crap, I'm 23 years old yet I only just now learned that there's a healthy limit to niceness that you can achieve... and I have always ignored that limit in favor of others. NOW I understand why they say you should take care of yourself first.
i am always taken for granted in a group of friends. I'm tired of getting ignored but i have now decided to remove my attachment by distancing myself from them.
Speaking as someone with an ADHD diagnosis, I find these videos teeter on a dangerously two dimensional framing of certain behaviours.. I accept that I’m perhaps reacting to criticism and understand there’s potential to listen and change accordingly.. However, when it comes to how impulsivity/indecision impacts one’s social behaviour 🤷♂️
But also it can help us recognize our own flaws that we might need to address. I used to be like how some of these traits are but I’m definitely keeping more strict boundaries and yes I have adhd too and trying to be more couscious how I react and act around other people and of things get tough I know I can’t handle it I’ll step away until I calm myself so I don’t do anything too impulsive but it’s hardddd but working on is worth it. More people respect u more too
@@markigirl2757 yes im working on anger outbursts. its hard because i feel easily offended because of my past and i react very strongly to certain things i find unfair but violence (verbal and of course physical) is not a solution...
Honestly, I have that last trait. I agree with a friend on some things when I don't actually, and it feels wrong. But I feel like it would ruin the mood. I only truly express my feelings with someone who I'm very close to, like my sisters or brothers.
I distanced from a friend because of this. When I took distance I realized all these patterns. This person didn't try to reach me, because either they no longer needed my attention or they understood I no longer trusted them. Kinda feel sad about them, since all of our friends ended noticing the same things I did and also distanced themselves from this person. Last thing I knew, this person ended pretty alone after that.
I don't agree with the last one. With some people, i genuinely don't feel the need to tell them about my personal life either because we're not close enough or there's no need for them to know so i tend to ask them questions instead or just dodge the question
Key word is FEEL. You're allowed to feel anything else other than happy. Be you; don't show emotions that you do not feel. Be mad, excited, sad... People shouldnt get mad at you for expressing your emotions. That's on them
I've been guilty of such behavior myself.. but I've called myself out of this several years ago. I know I'm doing myself and others a bigger favor by being more genuine.
i relate to a few points, i did things out of desperation when i felt like i had no friends. i'm slowly shaking off these traits now tho, because i no longer need external validation or companions to feel complete after years of working on myself
6 common Traits of fake people 😒❤️💎 with additional time stamps 1 ) They only respect people with power 0:40 2 ) They pretend to try and please everyone 1:23 3 ) They desperately seek attention 1:59 4 ) They gossip and talk behind your back 2:34 5 ) They disappear when you need them most 3:04 6 ) They avoid questions about themselves 3:35 Have a blessed and awesome day and may god bless you all don’t let all your problems define you rise above them and fight and I believe in you there is no such thing as can’t keep striving and be the best possible versions of yourselves and may 2022 be the best year ever in everyone’s lives ❤️
Yeah, I would absolutely treat "the Queen of England" the same way as I treat my friends. Your hypothesis hinges on the idea that we are brought up to believe that people of "a higher status" deserve some sort of reverence and preferential treatment based purely on their position in life. As a teenager, I worked for a firm that had several "celebrity" clients, Olivia Newton-John was one of them. I treated her the same way as anybody else. I did not afford her any special treatment, after all, she was just a human being, just like the rest of us. For the record, she welcomed the fact that she was treated like a regular person. She was delightful. Most of our clients that were "famous" and humble, reacted favourably to being treated, respectfully, like the rest of our "non-famous" clients as well. We had "prima donnas" too, don't get me wrong but they were in the minority from my recollection.
I had a friend which I cared for him the most. Messaging him everyday, inviting him to play and I also apologized even it wasn't my fault. I treated him so nice that I think the reason he left was because he thought he was more valuable and more important than me.
I actually watched this to see if I'm as genuine as I'd hoped and wasn't coming across to friends as a jerk or fake. I didn't do too badly and now I know which areas I can work on to be the best me I can be! Thank you for that, Psych2Go.
1. They only respect people with power. 2. They pretend to try and please everyone. 3. They desperately seek attention. 4. They gossip and talk behind your back. 5. They disappear when you need them the most. 6. They avoid questions about themselves.
Some of these traits tend to come from childhood trauma of emotional parental neglect. Lying so I won’t get in trouble, being quiet and not voicing my feelings because of fear of anger, wanting desperately to be accepted because you were rejected by the people who were supposed to love and support you the most. These traits will not change until you recognize them and begin making concentrated efforts to change. It’s easy to say be honest and authentic, but harder when you have to overcome fear and anxiety that is deeply ingrained into your psyche. Therapy helps, supportive friends who care about you help, but the only one who can change is you. It’s not all about just being fake, but the why behind the behavior. I know, I live it everyday. Overcoming fear and anxiety is really difficult and people handle it the best they can.
I’ve still been trying to learn to say no to people, lately I’ve worked on my confidence so I don’t let people walk all over me anymore but at the end of the day I can still be a yes man to people I care about and I hate that
I don't consider myself 'fake.' I have Social Anxiety Disorder and often times I overcompensate by saying too much, or giving up too much information in a fit of nervous fill-the-silence shame-rants. I used to over-commit, under deliver, burn myself out trying, and ultimately dissapoint others when I couldn't follow through. In therapy I learned that my family of origin was chaotic and conflict laden. As oldest child, I became "peacemaker." My role and worth was determined by the degree that I could bring an escalation down so that everyone (especially the bickering, violent adults) could be satisfied. That meant seeing everyone's side, needs, strengths and building off those attributes for a way forward. I carried this habit into high school, college, and work. I desperately wanted to avoid conflict, because I had never seen any real life modeling of strategies other than self-sacrifice and need assessment of others. This doesn't mean I am inauthentic. It just means at that time in my development I didn't know any better. It wasn't about ppl liking ME so much as it was a real desire to maintain civility and group harmony for the benefit of all. I wish this vid didn't include this behavior in its look at disingenuous, shallow people. It feels off the mark.
“2. They pretend to try to please everyone” I show this trait. I usually tend to agree and try to please everyone because I’m afraid of being seen as a bad person. My class is very fond of gossip, so whatever someone does, says, or just anything, gets around quickly. I don’t like the feeling of being despised, disliked by anyone. Like I could be walking somewhere and I accidentally bump into someone, and they’re like “Yo, watch where the hell you’re going!” People might get over that incident soon, but not me. I, like the video says, just can’t stand being disliked by anyone. It’s difficult to explain. Same thing when someone asks me about my hobbies, like what music I listen to and stuff, I just usually have to lie because our interests aren’t similar, and I’m afraid that said person will think I’m weird or that they’ll just dislike me.
Oh I know all too well about this , they nice when you and them are alone but as soon as they get around the cooler people they try to act like they don’t really talk to you that much , they weird asf
Just be yourself don’t be someone you’re not to try and fit in ❤️plz don’t be fake everyone just be you because everyone is unique and special in their own way
I’ve been on the receiving end of all these. My mother called me standoffish in my formative years, and I got mad at her for that, to where I’ve developed a complex because of it. Fast forward to Year 38, and my introspections me being standoffish was me protecting myself from energy vampires. Now, I’m weaving some of closet lessons, with what I already know about myself and I’m saying to myself: You have to love from a distance because your happiness matter most! You know you and what you believe in; go forth and stay on the path of righteousness.
I hate when people have to take pictures or videos of them doing kind things. It totally negates the kind actions because it's not sincere, they're just looking for praise.
Abusive people in my life make me feel like im fake nice, I watched this video thinking it would describe me but none of these apply to me at all and I’m realizing it’s actually describing the people that tell me im fake nice. They think that I must be fake because they don’t know what it’s like to genuinely care like I do :(( damn I’m sad
I always thought I was faking to be nice, like when I be nice to my friends there was this inner voice in me that would say to stop faking to be nice, this idea spread awareness but I’m still not sure if im faking it or not.
I had a best friend who was extremely fake nice. At the moment, we were like besties and literally soulmates and nothing could break out friendship. And then she backstabbed me, avoided any confrontations and still played the victim and everyone loves her and thinks I'm the villain who ditched her because she's so nicey-nicey and tries to hard to get validation from others.
When you step into your power and practice spiritual exercises like presence, Heart expansion etc. you'll ALWAYS sense the fake ones once YOU clear your subconscious shadows and stand in your power and truth. Namaste
I definitely try to please everyone, through fear of rejection. But I follow through with the help I have promised and plans that I make. I try to never let anyone down. That’s more damaging to friendships than saying you can’t do something.
I relate to this video. I'm a female, and have a '20 year friendship' (with another female), I need to bring to an end. We met in a trusting environment (.i.e. Church), and this 'friend' was in a low paying job, whilst I was in a relatively better paying job than the average. She started to ask me for both small and big amount 'loans' to not assist with an emergency, but to fund her lifestyle. She asked for £5K so she could publish a book (before you could self-publish), £5K so she could go on holiday, another £2K so she could go on holiday, and wait for the chestnut - an 80K Guarantor loan to cover her 'bad debts'. I said no to all these loans, but I did loan her a £100 here and there. It once took her 18 months to pay back $70 pounds. I'm not a millionaire, I'm a single, hard-working woman, who saves money. I realise this is 'No friendship', and I am being used, and 'financially exploited'. Can you do a video on financial grooming and exploitation please?
6 Common Traits of Fake Nice People! (with timestamps!) 1 ) They only respect people with power 0:40
2 ) They pretend to try and please everyone 1:23 3 ) They desperately seek attention 1:59 4 ) They gossip and talk behind your back 2:34 5 ) They disappear when you need them most 3:05 6 )They avoid questions about themselves 3:35
Never forgot a quote in milan kunderas book that said that to see a persons true character, see how they treat animals. If a person treats badly an innocent animal that cant 'tell' on them they will most likely treat you badly too, given the chance, specially if you don't have anything to offer them. The other way around too. I paid close attention to how my now boyfriend treated animals, people in the customer service and serving industry and his family. He loves animals, loves his grandma, and treats basically everyone with respect and empathy and I can tell you its for sure the healthiest relationship I've ever been on. He is such a good person, I trust him completely and my anxiety disappears when I'm with him.
The last one is questionable for me. There might be number of different reasons for a person to avoid intimate questions, not because they're ''fake''.
I feel like this definition of fake nice can blur with people pleasers/overly selfless people to an extent. I think over politeness and fake niceness are two sides of the same coins, but I think the biggest difference is the intention behind the actions. Some people really don't value themselves as much as others and express love language through acts of services (people pleasers) whereas the latter manipulate relationships with kindness because they value themselves more than others (fake nice)
I had a friend onece who was being racialy bullyed by a person who I thought was a friend. Let's call the person who was bullyed 'dave' and the bully 'Jeff'. Jeff would constantly go and anoy all of us but I couldnt shake the fealing that he was still my friend. Until one day I had figured out that he was bullying dave racialy by the colour of his skin. I saw both of them arguing and came to step in when I heard some racial slurs. Thats when I grabed jeff and told him that if he was going to do that then I wouldnt be friends with him. I told him goodbye and right before I left he yelled out saying that he was never my friend and was using me. Some advice Let go of the people you think are toxic before it is too late.
My sister has been fake nice to me and my life partner. It was only recently that she said what she truly felt about our relationship and that it meant nothing compared to a real marriage. What a blow, when she was always there to snoop, get the dirt and act by being fake supportive.
I struggle with suicidal thoughts, self harm, and depression, and I opened up about that to my friends (because they said if i am feeling down, I should talk to them) so I did,and now they make me feel like I am the problem. They guilt-trip me and say that I got professional help way too late.. it hurts so much. Idk what to do with myself anymore
Try to talk to your friends about that as well. Not all people know how to express themselves the right way and often times they don't realise they may be hurting you even more with such behavior.. 🙄 Some will care, some won't. And it's OK! 🙂 You just stick with those who do care. And please, ALWAYS remember: Every person is unique and here on earth for a reason. YOU are here for a reason honey. You make some people happy with your presence, whether you notice it or not, and I'm certain they'll be sad and/or devastated if something bad happens to you. Believe that even if you don't/can't notice it yet. I know it's super hard but don't give up. LOVE yourself ❤️😉😊
This is why I keep to myself. This quote describes it best "there is a story behind my smile that you will never understand " and that's how I feel, because no matter who I talk to, they think it can be easily resolved or that I am exaggerating.
Avoiding personal questions cant always be a reason that a person is fake. Many people are really cautious regarding their privacy while many dont want to show their weaknesses and gather sympathies. Its a matter of respecting one's choices of how much they want to share and its fair enough to do so; again , in my opinion.
Here are 6 traits of fake nice people (here are timestamps for people in a rush) 1. They only respect people with power 0:42 2. They pretend to try to please everyone 1:24 3. They desperately seek attention 2:00 4. They gossip and talk behind your back 2:35 5. They disappear when you need them the most 3:04 6. They avoid questions about themselves 3:37
These are also things that people who have really bad social anxiety/trauma do, and people who are neurodivergent empaths who have been hurt, and disabled people. It's also a huge thing with ADHD to take on WAAAAAY too much, more than you can handle, fully intend on seeing it through, and then failing to do so, over and over and over again, regardless of the consequences, regardless of self awareness. You just spiral. I have struggked through a lot of suspicious looking tendencies, and imposter syndrome, due to my mental health issues and a lack of recognition and support on the part of doctors, family, and friends. And having anxiety, PTSD, and ADHD makes it really hard to navigate through self improvement because it causes a lot of confusion internally about what will work, what is wrong, and how to improve. It's a perfect storm of Murphy's Law, essentially. So if you know someone who shows these traits, or are possibly someone like that, don't give up yet. If you can't handle someone at the moment, even though you really want to help them, that's okay, but don't make it about how "toxic" they are. Just let them know you are at your limits and you want to help, but you don't think you can because you would be too overwhelmed to be in a healthy relationship, and that's not their fault. Everyone has things they can and can't handle, and it doesn't mean they won't find people who can handle the responsibility of being their friend, or that they are broken and incapable of forming healthy relationships or improving. It just has to happen at their pace, and sometimes the people we love the most can't go at that pace when we need them the most, and that is really sad. But, they can at least be there to say, "You are trying and that is a good thing, keep going! Take care of yourself and take breaks when it gets to be too much. It's okay to need help, and to need to improve. You are not a bad person, you are just dealing with bad stuff." Encouragement from afar still goes a long way, and it has helped me with my own journey and doing better. And it didn't always end up in me losing that person forever. And I've had to set the same limits with other people sometimes, too. Just know humans are born with brains that don't work the way they should, and that we need to help those brains work better and accept those people for their brains. If we can't do that, we should at least respect where they are right now and not tell them they are bad people for not having a hang of things.
I got bullied by this girl, Giana and all of these traits describe her. Thank you! As soon as I can, I will tell my friends about this because some of them are friends with her even though I told them her toxic behavior ;-;
It's easy to PRETEND to be nice. And people do it constantly because kindness is seen as valuable. But if you are truly kind, you will unfortunately likely be used as a tool and cast aside.
For someone who is a people pleaser i unfortunately think this description fits me perfectly. I do most of these things, but i like to think i do it for very different reasons, but maybe im just gaslighting myself.
I've had enough exposure with a parent to spot this right away but now I'm wise when encounterring it, which is the real bottom line. Love your videos, they're helping so many people ♡
It’s important to give people the benefit of the doubt, and to have compassion for them. Do not judge a person meanly or harshly or fault them unless they are doing something to hurt you. I have become so afraid of being judged as a “fake nice person” that I don’t even talk to people anymore. I am extremely introverted and not naturally comfortable with talking and whatnot, but I cared a lot (I use the past tense because although I still care, I rarely act on it anymore in a directly social way) about trying to make the world a better place by being friendly or kind, or being brave and acting on a generous thought. I was often awkward but I truly felt genuine, although uncomfortable. Videos like this give mean people fuel to judge people who are socially uncomfortable but are making an effort to step out of their comfort zone. Yes, they want to make you and everyone happy. Because they would like to be treated nicely. You don’t want a friend like that? That’s your choice to make, but don’t go around telling people that they’re fake. If someone is making an effort to be nice and they aren’t hurting you, don’t hurt them. I’m honestly surprised that I don’t match the description of a “nice fake person” in this video. There must be other reasons, like I used to smile a lot. Or I would continue to be nice even after someone said something mean to me. I don’t know. It doesn’t matter. I don’t care anymore. I went so far as to pretty much end a friendship because she was giving me so much, and being poor in both time and money, I had been asking her not to get me things. Finally I said, “This isn’t fair to you. I can’t reciprocate.” Did I need her help? Yes. But it mattered to me that I have the time and resources to do things for her. I just don’t have time to be a good friend. And I’ve had enough people say behind my back (granted, they’re the ones who say mean things about everyone)…but for some reason, people listen to them, and I’m done trying. I spend my time by myself and I don’t engage with other people unless absolutely necessary. Maybe later when my kids are much older and I’m no longer a struggling, overworked single parent. I can guarantee you I’m not the only one who is sick and tired of trying, only to be judged *for being nice,* who just gives up. Literally, I don’t care anymore. The world doesn’t want me the way I am when I am trying my best, so I do other things to try to make the world a better place. Like write comments like this in hopes that someone will read it and just be a little kinder to the person who is ‘too nice’ for your taste. You don’t have to be friends with them if you don’t want to, but don’t go around bad mouthing them or hurting them in any other way.
Honestly, I feel like some of these things kinda apply to me when I'm with everyone. I don't want to sound like a bad person but I feel like dealing with everyone is too much lately, even though I still love them as people soooo much. I tend to be a people pleaser and get absolutely heart-broken when people dislike me and end up crying for days. I really don't want to be a bad friend to everyone. My depression is worsening everyday and I don't think anyone would accept me if they knew. I've been trying to get therapy but I feel like my insecurities are increasing with every session. I hope I grow out of these habits.
I realised I was a fake nice person during the pandemic, and decided to take a lot of time to myself to do some inner work on myself. I came to the conclusion that I only acted fake nice to people i WANTED to like, but really, I didn't really like much about them at all. I was just seeking connection.
I struggle a bit with 2 and 3, but I try to be as genuine and caring towards everyone. Growing up with little familial love, I had become desperate for anyone to like being around me. I always get worried when someone suddenly isn't talking to me anymore, and I automatically start thinking "Oh, I'm boring them." Or "Why are they ignoring me?" I also tend to make a lot of empty promises, and it turns out to be too stressful or too difficult for me to be able to make good on them. I recognize that I have these problems, are there any suggestions for how to change that kind of behavior in myself? I don't know who to look for and ask about these kinds of things, and I'd hate to end up being a toxic individual cause I really try to be the best I can be (Edit: There were a few typos, sorry)
I'd like to add, I hate when people do the whole, "look that really nice person said or did something mean, looks like they've been fake this whole time!" to me, people who go around saying this are a bit fake themselves.
@@wolfmondschein4999 That's certainly Your prerogative. Note the word "If" that I lead with in my first reply. That's a Big "If" ... and it applies to multiple conditions, as I wrote it.
Amanda Silvera’s voice is heavenly, my fave narrator. I would pay extra $$$ for audiobooks narrated by them. If you do narrate them please let us know. It’s like a sweet calming young mother to my inner child Edit: Amanda Silvera has a RUclips channel in the credits.
Some people avoid personal questions because when they’ve shared in the past, the information was used against them. So I don’t take a need for privacy as a sign someone is fake.
Yep. I had a fake "nice" ..."friend"...for a year or two. A total "people pleaser", yet they pleased everyone but me, despite apparently liking and valuing me lots. They always gave me excuses, tried desperately to avoid any and all confrontations or conflicts, even when I wanted to talk things out, since I knew something wasn't right. In the end, I had to let them go, since they just didn't want to invest, nor be upfront with me. They now treat me like I don't exist at all. All I wanted was to be friends. Now I'm somehow the bad guy, even though I didn't really do anything to warrant such a label. I'm glad I cut ties with them, difficult and painful as it was.
Um, had a boss like that. She fools everyone around her, except for me. After a nice comment on my work ethic to the new manager, by the GM, in front of her, it got bad for me and ended up with a target on my back. I put in my notice and bounced.
1) 0:42- *They only respect people with power.* I actually respect everyone equally, and it doesn't matter what their age or gender is. 2) 1:25- *They pretend to try to please everyone.* This is totally me. 3) 2:00- *They desperately seek attention.* I don't even have any social media. I may have Facebook, but the last time I used it was 10 years ago. 4) 2:35- *They gossip and talk behind your back.* I don't gossip about someone's back because once I witnessed a group of gossipers talking behind their backs when one of them was not with them. 5) 3:03- *They disappear when you need them the most.* I have no issue with this, nor is this my personality. 6) 3:36- *They avoid questions about themselves.* Why should I avoid thinking about myself? Because of No 2, I always have this feeling that I am really faking being a nice person. There are a lot of times when I think that if I'm in a drama, I am obviously an antagonistic side character.
I’m labeled fake according to this. Only because I was raised in atmosphere filled with every one of these. I always knew it was wrong behavior but as the saying goes: “u r a product of ur environment.” These environments suck for empathy bc through seeing/feeling the problems they usually act them out after realizing no one is as concerned as them
There is a difference between respecting people with power and respecting people in general. I think its perfectly fine to want to be nice to everybody that you meet. You can learn from everybody. Its also fine to want to make a good impression. I try to respect people even if they dont agree with me or i dont agrre with their viewpoints. Whats not fine is how you react to things. People like to push buttons. Sometimes those buttons get pushed too much..Especially if you are genuinely a nice person. People can and will take advantadge of that. And turn out to make you seem like the bad guy. Ive been in both situations where ive wanted genuinely to help other people. For free. Not to peoppe please but bc it was better than sitting around. And it was for a good cause....but people got jealous of my working for free and put me down for it. Both subordinates and superiors. Other people gave me attention and praise for doing this. Both subordinates and superiors. What i learned is people will hate you or like if you do and hate you or like you if you dont... so be yourself. And in any event dont trigger people. Respect them. Sometimes you deserve a slap. But whether or not you act on it is something else entirely. I think the problem exists in not communicating. Also be careful critiquing people who dont answer personal questions. Sometimes they are introverted. Sometimes they like their privacy. Some people are in situations where they cant be vocal about their opinions for personal safety. You cant judge anyone as toxic or not toxic. Everyone is fighting a struggle you know NOTHING about. You can only control your own actions and how you respond to a situation. Chris rock deserved the slap. Heck sometimes a lotta people do the way they trigger people. Will smith shouldnt have acted on it. Self control is another thing entirely . And i get both.
I agree and also disagree with much of this video. I also see some of this in myself - I often feel awkward talking about myself with many people because I worry they won't actually listen or find me interesting. I also want people to like me - but mostly only care that it's the people I actually like lol. But I don't think I'm fake nice (I HOPE I'm not lol). I would say the first point is probably the hallmark sign of a fake nice person, the ones who are only polite and nice to those in authority and are uncaring and rude when it comes to their subordinates/other coworkers.
I actually find that I personally have an internal need/urge to get external approval and acceptance and tend to offer people a lot of gifts, hoping it will fulfill me. It only fulfills temporarily, and often it’s disappointing to find out they don’t like you anyway despite trying to be kind. My therapist and I are working on not seeking external validation ❤️
When was the last time you got slapped?
A Long Time Ago
When I POV'ed as Chris Rock.
What? You've got to be kidding me.That's the funniest question to ask in the comments section. I don't know how to answer that. Lol. The award for best question goes to.. Psych2Go.
My dad was not the kind of guy to needlessly raise his hand or his voice, he is actually a pretty nice guy who believes in operating on principle.
But I insulted mom once during an argument we were having while dad was not only in earshot but in Range.
I saw stars for a second and I don't think I have insulted mom since 😂
Today. The sister of my best friend is crazy and slap me everyday of school xD
"Don't mourn over someone who changes all of a sudden, it could be that they stopped acting, and returned to their true self." - Socrates (c. 470 B.C. - 399 B.C.)
Definitely really relatable. I had a friend who just seemed to have switched within the span of a day. One day he was nice. The next he just pretended like I didn’t exist. He and a friend of mine remained in contact after that. But he ended up doing the same to that friend.
˗ˏˋ Timestamps ´ˎ˗
1) 0:42- They only respect people with power
2) 1:25- They pretend to try to please everyone
3) 2:00- They desperately seek attention
4) 2:35- They gossip and talk behind your back
5) 3:03- They disappear when you need them the most
6) 3:36- They avoid questions about themselves
Have a great day!
@LEXY ZEPETO ✨💜 yesssss :))
well, I believe that you're a really nice person, hhhh, thank you
@@celinejenhanicj No problem 😊
@@peachy241 hi You're a blink ig-
@@peachy241 wow you joined youtube 7 years ago omg 😮
Fake nice people are like shadows. They're there during your brightest moments but disappear when things get dark for you.
Couldn't have said it better myself.
Hah! That was clever.
What ever your going through i know. I understand ruclips.net/video/w5gujIbQSNI/видео.html 🙇🏽♂️🖤🔥🖤
And in your brightest moments, they're dark with jealousy.
Because it's easy to cheer for someone with no investment and responsibility towards that person. But being there for someone during hard times means that you actually have to invest your time and perhaps even money to help that person. Fake nice people are not interested in your problems.
I relate to some of these points because I've always been scared of making people disappointed/angry/offended. I used to keep my mouth shut whenever someone did something wrong to me because I didn't want them to suddenly scream at me. Also, I was obsessed with the idea of being liked by everyone. I thought "If someone doesn't like me, it's MY fault for being myself", and that is why I tried to contain myself. When I make favors to friends, it's because I hope they won't find me rude and suddenly leave. But now that I'm in therapy, everything is getting easier. I'm trying to be myself, express my opinions without feeling guilty or dumb, and it's ok if others don't like me for the way that I am. I still have a hard time accepting myself, but I'm slowly working on it.
It’s not you fault I trust and believe in you:)
@@riceman7152 Thank you!! This makes me feel better
I'm in the same exact boat. I am so afraid of rejection and of people being angry with me that I'm constantly trying to be the best friend I can be to everyone and end up making a ton of commitments that drive me crazy. I can't ever do all of them. So people who count on me tend to become disappointed, and it makes me feel even worse...I thought it was just because I was a nice person and enjoy making people happy, which I do. But I also realize it's that need to be liked and not rejected...yeesh. I appreciate people like you being honest and posting these comments. It really helped me out.
@@jaytastic4676 Thank you! I wish you the best as well. I hope you will be able to focus on yourself more instead of worrying about other's needs all the time. If I have to be even more honest, sometimes I help people because it feels natural, others because it's more "convenient".
I’m also the same way, unfortunately this is how I also feel about therapy not only people.I’m scared of therapy I cried and said no when I had a choice to go
I’m starting to see a lot of this in myself lately, but only around certain people. I keep switching from telling myself that I’m a bad friend for it, to just going with it.
I feel the same way. It's tough trying to be good to people, even certain people but ask yourself what kind of person do I want to be? For other people or myself. You have to choose to flip the switch and make yourself a good friend to somebody else. It's not worth it to only certain people it should be for all people. You can be a good friend you just have to love your neighbor as yourself. Don't beat yourself up because you may be a bad friend. It's not too late to be a good friend to someone else.
I watched the video as I'm not sure if I have these signs, I've been helping a lot of people these days. I don't know why, but I have some motivation to do things, and helping people makes me super happy, and some of these helps also helps myself as well.
I hope that motivation remains longer, as I've been procrastinating through the year.
Yes me too..only around a certain friend of mine but last week i confronted them about it. They said they knew it from the start 😭 ( we were both kind of using eachother) i asked why didn't u do anything they said it didn't bother them. I really like them as a friend but I knew I cannot be their 'best friends '
For me it is the very first aforesaid trait which adheres to my character the most, but that conduct roots from my past mistakes which I used to live with accordingly hitherto, until I adapted better philosophies. Although I sometimes may make the same mistake anew, I am learning to treat and favor everyone equally in spite of their achievements, job position or socioeconomic status.
What ever your going through i know. I understand ruclips.net/video/w5gujIbQSNI/видео.html 🙇🏽♂️🖤🔥🖤
This only applies to friends. If you are applying this to a work relationship, then we'll probably all be labeled as "fake, nice people."
Agree
With work relationships, it's best to never give too many details about yourself. It can be used against you.
@@truthfreedom1695edit* I learned this lesson the hard way
@@mysterymachine94 Me too! They act like friends & are concerned, but they are only looking at the angle of how my hard times are going to affect them. It's better just to fake like everything is ok at work. Better to call your mom or a friend when you get home.
I think to an extent at work. However, if you're just plain disrespectful at work to everyone except your bosses, talk shit about everyone, try to make things about yourself constantly, etc. Then, it's a no from me. If you avoid questions about yourself, I do think that's completely fine but, a lot of these have tendencies for toxic coworkers and I know that almost my entire work staff is like this. So, I disagree with it only applying to friends. I think it applies to anyone if the shoe fits! It also depends on the type of shoe (in terms of experiences and perspectives).
I'm a fake nice person but not to this extent , I just try to always smile and be nice to people not to please them but just because I don't want to be rude and if I don't smile at everyone whenever they say something to me they look at me weirdly i used to get comments like " you're gonna become a serial killer in the futur " or "with that cold face of yours no one will ever bother you on the streets " I don't mind them anymore but being nice just became a reflex even when I'm at my lowest
I don’t think it’s being fake nice. Your intention by smiling is trying not to be rude which is a nice thing of you.
That actually sounds like being a decent and polite human being. I worked with people who wanted to be "honest" and treat people according about how they feel about them (usually see them as inferior) and is very harmful. That lead to a lot of emotional and verbal abuse from their part.
"Discretion is the better part of valor." ~So many have been accused of saying it, I've lost track now...
...BUT it's true. The quality of being discrete about things is very simply "knowing when to speak out, and when to keep things to yourself"... OR more simply, "Choose your battles wisely."
In society (as opposed to warfare) we have this quality called "being polite", which isn't to say you instantly act like you LOVE everybody... but rather than you have this specific level of courtesy, friendliness, and respect that you extend to most everyone around you without any regard to their station in life, background, or status. Some folks go out of their way to show more respect and courtesy, or to be more friendly to everyone, and they often hope that helps them avoid the hazards of angering "dangerous people"... BUT literally anyone can be dangerous... AND it's exhausting being too kind and too friendly to EVERYONE around you. You can't get anything said or done if there's no room to simply explain, "Look, just get out of my way. I've got sh*t to do today, and it doesn't leave a bunch of time for screwing around here."
...There really ARE some people just THAT oblivious to the goings-on of others. As long as it's a forgone conclusion that "Not everyone is going to like you." anyways... WHY waste so much time and effort and energy? It's okay to lower the bar (figuratively) to remain polite, but stay reasonable for yourself. You DO still matter, and if someone else simply doesn't like that, then it's THEIR problem, not yours.
I still get comments (from time to time) like, "Someone's going to think you're a serial killer with that face." ...AND the last time someone said that, I retorted "Well, I did knife a box of Cheerios this morning, soooo...."
...Got a pretty good roll of chuckles out of the crowd with that one... ;o)
Same
I'm just like u bro . But ain't leavin anyone in their darkest hour
I am scared of being rejected by people; I try to be nice but I'm worried of everyone relying on me.. I've had a lot of crappy friends and I try my best to be a good friend because I know what it's like to have those friends and I want people to have good experience around me.
i think that is different.. thats an insecurity. its not because you’re mean. fake nice peolpe usually are people with a lot of confidence.. but they want people to adore them
don’t worry you’re nothing liek what this video is talking about:)
@@acutelilmint8035 This gave me a ton of reassurance, thank you 🥰
You sound like a genuinely nice person to me. Anyone would be lucky to have you as a friend.
I feel the same.😔
It's funny, how I watch these videos to cheer myself, but every time I end up feeling anxious. I start asking myself different questions. Who I really am? Do I even know the real me? Am I actually a good person? This thoughts scare me. This whole situation scares me. And the worst thing is that I'm scared of myself
Me too actually
After watching a lot of these videos i question myself am i like this? and sometimes i genuinely don't know
The question to ask yourself Is What kind of person do I want to be? For others or for myself. Don't be afraid to ask yourself questions and look for the answers you're looking for. Ask yourself also, Am I a good person? Or am I just questioning my own judgment because of the influence of others. Don't be scared of yourself. I was that way by beating myself up that wasted two years of my life and now I don't have to be scared because I overcame beating myself up of what I discovered about different bands in my case and it just rewired my brain like it was damaged. If people don't know the real you, show them who you really are. Build up confidence with yourself to have control what you think you aren't in control of. You got this! You just have to believe in yourself. Don't let these thoughts make you think any different.
Big relate. Overthinking makes me question everything I do or feel all the time. Then I just get confused about my genuine personality.
Temet Nosce
You've fallen in the trap of criticizing people just to feel better about yourself.
Real peace and wholesomeness comes from being uncritical of others, not the other way around.
Criticize people's actions openly and bluntly after they've done something stupid, bring down their actions, not their person.
If you are not going to say anything THEN and THERE, what is the point of labeling, putting people inside boxes and attacking the person that they are afterwards for years on end, just to make yourself seem better by comparison ..thats like making yourself seem better, but without actually making it better.
when I feel anxious and I get asked questions that make me more anxious to be thinking about, I use the technique of turning the question around on the other person so that they aren’t curious about me and then they focus on themselves. It’s actually a great technique when your in a situation you don’t want to be in or talk about.
that’s exactly how i feel too. I was looking for a comment like this, thank you.
I do the exact same thing
same
Well, that only puts you deeper into your anxiety. Facing the problem might help you solve it
you could just lie. it's totally fine if questions become too intrusive. be creative.
I agree with some of these things, but I think you have to be careful suggesting that numbers 2 and 6 are the result of someone being "fake nice". 6 could just mean the person is introverted or shy, or perhaps they grew up being told that they weren't interesting enough, so it's better if they don't talk about themselves. 2 doesn't mean the person is fake nice. It's actually common for people with ADHD to take on more work than they can handle, fully intending to help those people, and then realizing after that they offered to help too many and can't fulfill their promise. It's not them being "fake nice". It's a product of having ADHD. Like I said, I agree with some of the points in this video, but I'm really not feeling this one overall. It feels like a chance for someone to misunderstand the actions of another person and label them toxic unfairly (at least in the cases of 2 and 6).
FACTS!! Amen
ikr? I do no.2 all the time not because I want to be liked by others but to not tl be coated by rudeness, selfishness and the fear that I didn't contribute enough to something. Also yeah ADHD is a factor too.
4:13 :3
Exactly
Literally!
“Try to avoid fake nice people” - haha yeah that’s impossible in this society 😬
Innitttt
"They disappear when you need them the most" is such a double-edged sword, mainly because the opposite can happen too. Some of them relish in the idea of being needed, of being the knight in shining armor, being depended upon. They feel the power and the thought that they can solve the other person's issues, and when that person is doing good, they suddenly wish to remind them of the worse stuff and wish to bring them down. I am saying this because I was that guy when it came to someone who broke my heart and still remained friends. Them doing good in life felt like a threat to future prospects for me and them, and them doing bad meant "now it is my time to shine!" I hate this feeling mainly because I wish to be happy for them, but I wish to be happy with them and them to be happy with me, share in it, relish in it, making it into an "us" thing. All in all, I am telling you this so you can be aware of it too and try to see if there is someone in your life who is like that, or if you are that person yourself. The "I can fix them" mentality.
Jesus can heal you.
Is the “I can fix them” mentality bad tho?
The "I can fix them" mentality is definately not bad. Its perfectly healthy to bring people down for who they are and remind them that they need to change everyday, it also helps to remind them of your own faults and to compare their worsts to other people's best days. Distant looks perfect, cracks are only seen up-close. Thats how you get long lasting relationship, by making sure the other is as miserable as an be.
YES SAME EXACTLY
@@lukeraffo yes because people have to do their own work, you'll become terribly frustrated trying to make a horse drink water.
The fact my online “friend” fits all these traits is hilarious.
drop em
Most online friends i have are like that! That's why i cut thighs with them all
@@XVII0MLWX cutting *thighs*. yes😂
Aw this is so right my friend is just like it fake nice
@@XVII0MLWX You mean ties right??
*"RIGHT?!!?"*
Omg, It’s about my childhood friend. It took a long time to figure out what kind of person she really is. It’s very upsetting when life makes you realize these things about close friends.
I relate to this...childhood friends hit different. If it's someone you met as an adult, sure whatever I'll be over it soon enough. It's taken me a while to see those people's true colours sadly. Length of time you've known somebody doesn't equal to chosen family is the lesson 😓
One of my ex friends kept talking behind my back on the bus where all my other friends were and my friends told me about it, that’s how you know you have good friends
Question yourself, what kind of person do I want to be? For other people or for myself. Don't go above and beyond to be nice to someone or try to impress them because all they're gonna do is expect more out of you. The people you're with is who you're gonna become. Don't be around those people who will wear a mask in front of you:) They're not worth it. You're worth it more than the other fake people out there.
Have a great day! Stay true Psych2goers!
Holy crap, I'm 23 years old yet I only just now learned that there's a healthy limit to niceness that you can achieve... and I have always ignored that limit in favor of others. NOW I understand why they say you should take care of yourself first.
i am always taken for granted in a group of friends. I'm tired of getting ignored but i have now decided to remove my attachment by distancing myself from them.
Speaking as someone with an ADHD diagnosis, I find these videos teeter on a dangerously two dimensional framing of certain behaviours.. I accept that I’m perhaps reacting to criticism and understand there’s potential to listen and change accordingly.. However, when it comes to how impulsivity/indecision impacts one’s social behaviour 🤷♂️
But also it can help us recognize our own flaws that we might need to address. I used to be like how some of these traits are but I’m definitely keeping more strict boundaries and yes I have adhd too and trying to be more couscious how I react and act around other people and of things get tough I know I can’t handle it I’ll step away until I calm myself so I don’t do anything too impulsive but it’s hardddd but working on is worth it. More people respect u more too
THIS!! x
@@markigirl2757 yes im working on anger outbursts. its hard because i feel easily offended because of my past and i react very strongly to certain things i find unfair but violence (verbal and of course physical) is not a solution...
Honestly, I have that last trait. I agree with a friend on some things when I don't actually, and it feels wrong. But I feel like it would ruin the mood. I only truly express my feelings with someone who I'm very close to, like my sisters or brothers.
I distanced from a friend because of this. When I took distance I realized all these patterns. This person didn't try to reach me, because either they no longer needed my attention or they understood I no longer trusted them. Kinda feel sad about them, since all of our friends ended noticing the same things I did and also distanced themselves from this person. Last thing I knew, this person ended pretty alone after that.
God be with us all Amen
I don't agree with the last one. With some people, i genuinely don't feel the need to tell them about my personal life either because we're not close enough or there's no need for them to know so i tend to ask them questions instead or just dodge the question
Key word is FEEL.
You're allowed to feel anything else other than happy. Be you; don't show emotions that you do not feel. Be mad, excited, sad... People shouldnt get mad at you for expressing your emotions. That's on them
I've been guilty of such behavior myself.. but I've called myself out of this several years ago.
I know I'm doing myself and others a bigger favor by being more genuine.
What ever your going through i know. I understand ruclips.net/video/w5gujIbQSNI/видео.html 🙇🏽♂️🖤🔥🖤
i relate to a few points, i did things out of desperation when i felt like i had no friends. i'm slowly shaking off these traits now tho, because i no longer need external validation or companions to feel complete after years of working on myself
Same!
6 common Traits of fake people 😒❤️💎 with additional time stamps
1 ) They only respect people with power 0:40
2 ) They pretend to try and please everyone 1:23
3 ) They desperately seek attention 1:59
4 ) They gossip and talk behind your back 2:34
5 ) They disappear when you need them most 3:04
6 ) They avoid questions about themselves 3:35
Have a blessed and awesome day and may god bless you all don’t let all your problems define you rise above them and fight and I believe in you there is no such thing as can’t keep striving and be the best possible versions of yourselves and may 2022 be the best year ever in everyone’s lives ❤️
Too fast 💨
@@lamar6008 lol I was waiting to be first 😂
Here before your comment blows up 🙃
@@februaryc tnx so much you made my day ❤️❤️ I hope you have an amazing day and may god bless you
Yeah, I would absolutely treat "the Queen of England" the same way as I treat my friends. Your hypothesis hinges on the idea that we are brought up to believe that people of "a higher status" deserve some sort of reverence and preferential treatment based purely on their position in life. As a teenager, I worked for a firm that had several "celebrity" clients, Olivia Newton-John was one of them. I treated her the same way as anybody else. I did not afford her any special treatment, after all, she was just a human being, just like the rest of us. For the record, she welcomed the fact that she was treated like a regular person. She was delightful. Most of our clients that were "famous" and humble, reacted favourably to being treated, respectfully, like the rest of our "non-famous" clients as well. We had "prima donnas" too, don't get me wrong but they were in the minority from my recollection.
Ok
I had a friend which I cared for him the most. Messaging him everyday, inviting him to play and I also apologized even it wasn't my fault. I treated him so nice that I think the reason he left was because he thought he was more valuable and more important than me.
I actually watched this to see if I'm as genuine as I'd hoped and wasn't coming across to friends as a jerk or fake. I didn't do too badly and now I know which areas I can work on to be the best me I can be! Thank you for that, Psych2Go.
Great attitude. There is always work!
Character is displayed by how you act when no one is looking.
1. They only respect people with power.
2. They pretend to try and please everyone.
3. They desperately seek attention.
4. They gossip and talk behind your back.
5. They disappear when you need them the most.
6. They avoid questions about themselves.
2022 is about separating the real from the fake.
Some of these traits tend to come from childhood trauma of emotional parental neglect. Lying so I won’t get in trouble, being quiet and not voicing my feelings because of fear of anger, wanting desperately to be accepted because you were rejected by the people who were supposed to love and support you the most. These traits will not change until you recognize them and begin making concentrated efforts to change. It’s easy to say be honest and authentic, but harder when you have to overcome fear and anxiety that is deeply ingrained into your psyche. Therapy helps, supportive friends who care about you help, but the only one who can change is you. It’s not all about just being fake, but the why behind the behavior. I know, I live it everyday. Overcoming fear and anxiety is really difficult and people handle it the best they can.
The slap meme is so powerful, it even made its way here
I’ve still been trying to learn to say no to people, lately I’ve worked on my confidence so I don’t let people walk all over me anymore but at the end of the day I can still be a yes man to people I care about and I hate that
I don't consider myself 'fake.' I have Social Anxiety Disorder and often times I overcompensate by saying too much, or giving up too much information in a fit of nervous fill-the-silence shame-rants. I used to over-commit, under deliver, burn myself out trying, and ultimately dissapoint others when I couldn't follow through. In therapy I learned that my family of origin was chaotic and conflict laden. As oldest child, I became "peacemaker." My role and worth was determined by the degree that I could bring an escalation down so that everyone (especially the bickering, violent adults) could be satisfied. That meant seeing everyone's side, needs, strengths and building off those attributes for a way forward. I carried this habit into high school, college, and work. I desperately wanted to avoid conflict, because I had never seen any real life modeling of strategies other than self-sacrifice and need assessment of others. This doesn't mean I am inauthentic. It just means at that time in my development I didn't know any better. It wasn't about ppl liking ME so much as it was a real desire to maintain civility and group harmony for the benefit of all. I wish this vid didn't include this behavior in its look at disingenuous, shallow people. It feels off the mark.
“2. They pretend to try to please everyone”
I show this trait. I usually tend to agree and try to please everyone because I’m afraid of being seen as a bad person. My class is very fond of gossip, so whatever someone does, says, or just anything, gets around quickly. I don’t like the feeling of being despised, disliked by anyone. Like I could be walking somewhere and I accidentally bump into someone, and they’re like “Yo, watch where the hell you’re going!” People might get over that incident soon, but not me. I, like the video says, just can’t stand being disliked by anyone. It’s difficult to explain. Same thing when someone asks me about my hobbies, like what music I listen to and stuff, I just usually have to lie because our interests aren’t similar, and I’m afraid that said person will think I’m weird or that they’ll just dislike me.
Oh I know all too well about this , they nice when you and them are alone but as soon as they get around the cooler people they try to act like they don’t really talk to you that much , they weird asf
Just be yourself don’t be someone you’re not to try and fit in ❤️plz don’t be fake everyone just be you because everyone is unique and special in their own way
:)
Are you french?
@@paulantho8028 nope why ?.
@@LayLow_-sg6iy my bad then. It's just because a french artist I appreciate has the same name as you
@@paulantho8028 oh I just found laylow an interesting name so I used it and the 1302 is my bday 13th of feb so yeah
I’ve been on the receiving end of all these. My mother called me standoffish in my formative years, and I got mad at her for that, to where I’ve developed a complex because of it.
Fast forward to Year 38, and my introspections me being standoffish was me protecting myself from energy vampires. Now, I’m weaving some of closet lessons, with what I already know about myself and I’m saying to myself: You have to love from a distance because your happiness matter most! You know you and what you believe in; go forth and stay on the path of righteousness.
I hate when people have to take pictures or videos of them doing kind things. It totally negates the kind actions because it's not sincere, they're just looking for praise.
1000% sometime when the camera is turned off they take back that money, or it was a fake act and they paid that person
Pretty much all of these traits can go to people in middle school and insecure people. Not very accurate for telling if someone is a bad person.
Abusive people in my life make me feel like im fake nice, I watched this video thinking it would describe me but none of these apply to me at all and I’m realizing it’s actually describing the people that tell me im fake nice. They think that I must be fake because they don’t know what it’s like to genuinely care like I do :(( damn I’m sad
I always thought I was faking to be nice, like when I be nice to my friends there was this inner voice in me that would say to stop faking to be nice, this idea spread awareness but I’m still not sure if im faking it or not.
I had a best friend who was extremely fake nice.
At the moment, we were like besties and literally soulmates and nothing could break out friendship.
And then she backstabbed me, avoided any confrontations and still played the victim and everyone loves her and thinks I'm the villain who ditched her because she's so nicey-nicey and tries to hard to get validation from others.
When you step into your power and practice spiritual exercises like presence, Heart expansion etc. you'll ALWAYS sense the fake ones once YOU clear your subconscious shadows and stand in your power and truth. Namaste
Not the thumbnail😂Great video!
I’ve found myself doing all of these recently except for the first one. I treat everyone the same regardless of who they are
I'm in the same boat
Then maybe you're a people pleaser, not fake nice 🙂
I definitely try to please everyone, through fear of rejection. But I follow through with the help I have promised and plans that I make. I try to never let anyone down. That’s more damaging to friendships than saying you can’t do something.
I love how short these videos are, but they still give so much info
I relate to this video. I'm a female, and have a '20 year friendship' (with another female), I need to bring to an end. We met in a trusting environment (.i.e. Church), and this 'friend' was in a low paying job, whilst I was in a relatively better paying job than the average. She started to ask me for both small and big amount 'loans' to not assist with an emergency, but to fund her lifestyle. She asked for £5K so she could publish a book (before you could self-publish), £5K so she could go on holiday, another £2K so she could go on holiday, and wait for the chestnut - an 80K Guarantor loan to cover her 'bad debts'. I said no to all these loans, but I did loan her a £100 here and there. It once took her 18 months to pay back $70 pounds. I'm not a millionaire, I'm a single, hard-working woman, who saves money. I realise this is 'No friendship', and I am being used, and 'financially exploited'. Can you do a video on financial grooming and exploitation please?
That thumbnail is savage
All this time I thought I was a fake nice person but according to this I'm probably just a regular nice person,that has fake moments.
6 Common Traits of Fake Nice People!
(with timestamps!)
1 ) They only respect people with power 0:40
2 ) They pretend to try and please everyone 1:23
3 ) They desperately seek attention 1:59
4 ) They gossip and talk behind your back 2:34
5 ) They disappear when you need them most 3:05
6 )They avoid questions about themselves 3:35
I'll keep cautious of those signs.
Never forgot a quote in milan kunderas book that said that to see a persons true character, see how they treat animals. If a person treats badly an innocent animal that cant 'tell' on them they will most likely treat you badly too, given the chance, specially if you don't have anything to offer them. The other way around too. I paid close attention to how my now boyfriend treated animals, people in the customer service and serving industry and his family. He loves animals, loves his grandma, and treats basically everyone with respect and empathy and I can tell you its for sure the healthiest relationship I've ever been on. He is such a good person, I trust him completely and my anxiety disappears when I'm with him.
The last one is questionable for me. There might be number of different reasons for a person to avoid intimate questions, not because they're ''fake''.
I feel like this definition of fake nice can blur with people pleasers/overly selfless people to an extent. I think over politeness and fake niceness are two sides of the same coins, but I think the biggest difference is the intention behind the actions. Some people really don't value themselves as much as others and express love language through acts of services (people pleasers) whereas the latter manipulate relationships with kindness because they value themselves more than others (fake nice)
I had a friend onece who was being racialy bullyed by a person who I thought was a friend. Let's call the person who was bullyed 'dave' and the bully 'Jeff'. Jeff would constantly go and anoy all of us but I couldnt shake the fealing that he was still my friend. Until one day I had figured out that he was bullying dave racialy by the colour of his skin. I saw both of them arguing and came to step in when I heard some racial slurs. Thats when I grabed jeff and told him that if he was going to do that then I wouldnt be friends with him. I told him goodbye and right before I left he yelled out saying that he was never my friend and was using me.
Some advice
Let go of the people you think are toxic before it is too late.
yikes.. well no loss for you :) lesson learnt.
@@acutelilmint8035 yeah
Gahh I would rather have someone tell me this to my face than use me up and then later reveal their intentions
Well, he said that he was using you only because he was in the wrong. What a pathetic response on his part, he did it only to feel in control.
Your forgiven Jeff
My sister has been fake nice to me and my life partner. It was only recently that she said what she truly felt about our relationship and that it meant nothing compared to a real marriage. What a blow, when she was always there to snoop, get the dirt and act by being fake supportive.
I struggle with suicidal thoughts, self harm, and depression, and I opened up about that to my friends (because they said if i am feeling down, I should talk to them) so I did,and now they make me feel like I am the problem. They guilt-trip me and say that I got professional help way too late.. it hurts so much. Idk what to do with myself anymore
Drop them, it's better to be alone than have fake friends
Those are Not Friends.
Try to talk to your friends about that as well. Not all people know how to express themselves the right way and often times they don't realise they may be hurting you even more with such behavior.. 🙄 Some will care, some won't. And it's OK! 🙂 You just stick with those who do care.
And please, ALWAYS remember:
Every person is unique and here on earth for a reason.
YOU are here for a reason honey.
You make some people happy with your presence, whether you notice it or not, and I'm certain they'll be sad and/or devastated if something bad happens to you. Believe that even if you don't/can't notice it yet.
I know it's super hard but don't give up.
LOVE yourself ❤️😉😊
This is why I keep to myself. This quote describes it best "there is a story behind my smile that you will never understand " and that's how I feel, because no matter who I talk to, they think it can be easily resolved or that I am exaggerating.
Avoiding personal questions cant always be a reason that a person is fake. Many people are really cautious regarding their privacy while many dont want to show their weaknesses and gather sympathies. Its a matter of respecting one's choices of how much they want to share and its fair enough to do so; again , in my opinion.
Here are 6 traits of fake nice people (here are timestamps for people in a rush)
1. They only respect people with power 0:42
2. They pretend to try to please everyone 1:24
3. They desperately seek attention 2:00
4. They gossip and talk behind your back 2:35
5. They disappear when you need them the most 3:04
6. They avoid questions about themselves 3:37
These are also things that people who have really bad social anxiety/trauma do, and people who are neurodivergent empaths who have been hurt, and disabled people.
It's also a huge thing with ADHD to take on WAAAAAY too much, more than you can handle, fully intend on seeing it through, and then failing to do so, over and over and over again, regardless of the consequences, regardless of self awareness. You just spiral.
I have struggked through a lot of suspicious looking tendencies, and imposter syndrome, due to my mental health issues and a lack of recognition and support on the part of doctors, family, and friends. And having anxiety, PTSD, and ADHD makes it really hard to navigate through self improvement because it causes a lot of confusion internally about what will work, what is wrong, and how to improve. It's a perfect storm of Murphy's Law, essentially.
So if you know someone who shows these traits, or are possibly someone like that, don't give up yet. If you can't handle someone at the moment, even though you really want to help them, that's okay, but don't make it about how "toxic" they are. Just let them know you are at your limits and you want to help, but you don't think you can because you would be too overwhelmed to be in a healthy relationship, and that's not their fault. Everyone has things they can and can't handle, and it doesn't mean they won't find people who can handle the responsibility of being their friend, or that they are broken and incapable of forming healthy relationships or improving. It just has to happen at their pace, and sometimes the people we love the most can't go at that pace when we need them the most, and that is really sad. But, they can at least be there to say, "You are trying and that is a good thing, keep going! Take care of yourself and take breaks when it gets to be too much. It's okay to need help, and to need to improve. You are not a bad person, you are just dealing with bad stuff."
Encouragement from afar still goes a long way, and it has helped me with my own journey and doing better. And it didn't always end up in me losing that person forever. And I've had to set the same limits with other people sometimes, too.
Just know humans are born with brains that don't work the way they should, and that we need to help those brains work better and accept those people for their brains. If we can't do that, we should at least respect where they are right now and not tell them they are bad people for not having a hang of things.
I got bullied by this girl, Giana and all of these traits describe her. Thank you! As soon as I can, I will tell my friends about this because some of them are friends with her even though I told them her toxic behavior ;-;
It's easy to PRETEND to be nice. And people do it constantly because kindness is seen as valuable. But if you are truly kind, you will unfortunately likely be used as a tool and cast aside.
For someone who is a people pleaser i unfortunately think this description fits me perfectly. I do most of these things, but i like to think i do it for very different reasons, but maybe im just gaslighting myself.
I've had enough exposure with a parent to spot this right away but now I'm wise when encounterring it, which is the real bottom line. Love your videos, they're helping so many people ♡
Yes Not just because someone is nice that doesn't mean they're a good and kind person ..
It’s important to give people the benefit of the doubt, and to have compassion for them. Do not judge a person meanly or harshly or fault them unless they are doing something to hurt you. I have become so afraid of being judged as a “fake nice person” that I don’t even talk to people anymore. I am extremely introverted and not naturally comfortable with talking and whatnot, but I cared a lot (I use the past tense because although I still care, I rarely act on it anymore in a directly social way) about trying to make the world a better place by being friendly or kind, or being brave and acting on a generous thought. I was often awkward but I truly felt genuine, although uncomfortable. Videos like this give mean people fuel to judge people who are socially uncomfortable but are making an effort to step out of their comfort zone. Yes, they want to make you and everyone happy. Because they would like to be treated nicely. You don’t want a friend like that? That’s your choice to make, but don’t go around telling people that they’re fake. If someone is making an effort to be nice and they aren’t hurting you, don’t hurt them. I’m honestly surprised that I don’t match the description of a “nice fake person” in this video. There must be other reasons, like I used to smile a lot. Or I would continue to be nice even after someone said something mean to me. I don’t know. It doesn’t matter. I don’t care anymore. I went so far as to pretty much end a friendship because she was giving me so much, and being poor in both time and money, I had been asking her not to get me things. Finally I said, “This isn’t fair to you. I can’t reciprocate.” Did I need her help? Yes. But it mattered to me that I have the time and resources to do things for her. I just don’t have time to be a good friend. And I’ve had enough people say behind my back (granted, they’re the ones who say mean things about everyone)…but for some reason, people listen to them, and I’m done trying. I spend my time by myself and I don’t engage with other people unless absolutely necessary. Maybe later when my kids are much older and I’m no longer a struggling, overworked single parent. I can guarantee you I’m not the only one who is sick and tired of trying, only to be judged *for being nice,* who just gives up. Literally, I don’t care anymore. The world doesn’t want me the way I am when I am trying my best, so I do other things to try to make the world a better place. Like write comments like this in hopes that someone will read it and just be a little kinder to the person who is ‘too nice’ for your taste. You don’t have to be friends with them if you don’t want to, but don’t go around bad mouthing them or hurting them in any other way.
the Twice lightstick 😂
Yeah once here
Honestly, I feel like some of these things kinda apply to me when I'm with everyone. I don't want to sound like a bad person but I feel like dealing with everyone is too much lately, even though I still love them as people soooo much. I tend to be a people pleaser and get absolutely heart-broken when people dislike me and end up crying for days. I really don't want to be a bad friend to everyone. My depression is worsening everyday and I don't think anyone would accept me if they knew. I've been trying to get therapy but I feel like my insecurities are increasing with every session. I hope I grow out of these habits.
God is on your path
Thank you!! I had trouble coming up with a name for this type of person but thanks to this vid I know how to refer to them now. Thanks so much!! 🙏
I realised I was a fake nice person during the pandemic,
and decided to take a lot of time to myself to do some inner work on myself. I came to the conclusion that I only acted fake nice to people i WANTED to like, but really, I didn't really like much about them at all. I was just seeking connection.
I struggle a bit with 2 and 3, but I try to be as genuine and caring towards everyone. Growing up with little familial love, I had become desperate for anyone to like being around me. I always get worried when someone suddenly isn't talking to me anymore, and I automatically start thinking "Oh, I'm boring them." Or "Why are they ignoring me?" I also tend to make a lot of empty promises, and it turns out to be too stressful or too difficult for me to be able to make good on them.
I recognize that I have these problems, are there any suggestions for how to change that kind of behavior in myself? I don't know who to look for and ask about these kinds of things, and I'd hate to end up being a toxic individual cause I really try to be the best I can be
(Edit: There were a few typos, sorry)
I'd like to add, I hate when people do the whole, "look that really nice person said or did something mean, looks like they've been fake this whole time!" to me, people who go around saying this are a bit fake themselves.
i feel like i can be a fake nice person, is there anyway to change how i behave?
I give up on them. If i continue trying to save them, i put myself in danger.
If you care and can help, and wish to do so, ... then do so.
You don't have let yourself get pulled into a swamp though.
@@tdesq.2463 They aren´t worth it.
@@wolfmondschein4999 That's certainly Your prerogative. Note the word "If" that I lead with in my first reply. That's a Big "If" ... and it applies to multiple conditions, as I wrote it.
@@tdesq.2463 I heard you. =)
@@wolfmondschein4999 I know.👍✌️
Great content, but also: I love the art work! It was a pleasure to watch this video!
Amanda Silvera’s voice is heavenly, my fave narrator. I would pay extra $$$ for audiobooks narrated by them. If you do narrate them please let us know. It’s like a sweet calming young mother to my inner child
Edit: Amanda Silvera has a RUclips channel in the credits.
Yes ma’am - it certainly does remind me of a person or two I trusted and got entangled with for 5 long years
Some people avoid personal questions because when they’ve shared in the past, the information was used against them. So I don’t take a need for privacy as a sign someone is fake.
Everytime I see these vids, I worry I am this kind of person...
Yep. I had a fake "nice" ..."friend"...for a year or two. A total "people pleaser", yet they pleased everyone but me, despite apparently liking and valuing me lots. They always gave me excuses, tried desperately to avoid any and all confrontations or conflicts, even when I wanted to talk things out, since I knew something wasn't right. In the end, I had to let them go, since they just didn't want to invest, nor be upfront with me. They now treat me like I don't exist at all. All I wanted was to be friends. Now I'm somehow the bad guy, even though I didn't really do anything to warrant such a label. I'm glad I cut ties with them, difficult and painful as it was.
I love this animation its so relaxing 🥰💚🌱
Um, had a boss like that. She fools everyone around her, except for me. After a nice comment on my work ethic to the new manager, by the GM, in front of her, it got bad for me and ended up with a target on my back. I put in my notice and bounced.
0:16 Did anyone notice this Twice reference?
I sure did! Twice is the best!
1) 0:42- *They only respect people with power.* I actually respect everyone equally, and it doesn't matter what their age or gender is.
2) 1:25- *They pretend to try to please everyone.* This is totally me.
3) 2:00- *They desperately seek attention.* I don't even have any social media. I may have Facebook, but the last time I used it was 10 years ago.
4) 2:35- *They gossip and talk behind your back.* I don't gossip about someone's back because once I witnessed a group of gossipers talking behind their backs when one of them was not with them.
5) 3:03- *They disappear when you need them the most.* I have no issue with this, nor is this my personality.
6) 3:36- *They avoid questions about themselves.* Why should I avoid thinking about myself?
Because of No 2, I always have this feeling that I am really faking being a nice person. There are a lot of times when I think that if I'm in a drama, I am obviously an antagonistic side character.
the twice lightstick-
(pd: i loved the video!)
I’m labeled fake according to this. Only because I was raised in atmosphere filled with every one of these. I always knew it was wrong behavior but as the saying goes: “u r a product of ur environment.” These environments suck for empathy bc through seeing/feeling the problems they usually act them out after realizing no one is as concerned as them
Psych2Go channel is my favorite corner on RUclips, the videos are very precisely animated
To whoever is reading this, you can beat the fake friends. Depression is you facing death in the eye everyday and everyday it backs off
We are all like this to a degree!! 💯
This gave me a lot more validation in my already present standards and intuition. I’ve seen this at church at all and no one else does
*Ps. That MEME in thumbnail-*
*Lmao* 🤣
We hope you liked it!
@@Psych2gooh I loved it 😊💗
There is a difference between respecting people with power and respecting people in general. I think its perfectly fine to want to be nice to everybody that you meet. You can learn from everybody. Its also fine to want to make a good impression. I try to respect people even if they dont agree with me or i dont agrre with their viewpoints. Whats not fine is how you react to things. People like to push buttons. Sometimes those buttons get pushed too much..Especially if you are genuinely a nice person. People can and will take advantadge of that.
And turn out to make you seem like the bad guy.
Ive been in both situations where ive wanted genuinely to help other people. For free. Not to peoppe please but bc it was better than sitting around. And it was for a good cause....but people got jealous of my working for free and put me down for it. Both subordinates and superiors.
Other people gave me attention and praise for doing this. Both subordinates and superiors.
What i learned is people will hate you or like if you do and hate you or like you if you dont... so be yourself.
And in any event dont trigger people. Respect them. Sometimes you deserve a slap. But whether or not you act on it is something else entirely.
I think the problem exists in not communicating.
Also be careful critiquing people who dont answer personal questions. Sometimes they are introverted.
Sometimes they like their privacy.
Some people are in situations where they cant be vocal about their opinions for personal safety.
You cant judge anyone as toxic or not toxic. Everyone is fighting a struggle you know NOTHING about.
You can only control your own actions and how you respond to a situation.
Chris rock deserved the slap. Heck sometimes a lotta people do the way they trigger people.
Will smith shouldnt have acted on it.
Self control is another thing entirely
. And i get both.
You have given me so much advice thank you so much
I agree and also disagree with much of this video. I also see some of this in myself - I often feel awkward talking about myself with many people because I worry they won't actually listen or find me interesting. I also want people to like me - but mostly only care that it's the people I actually like lol. But I don't think I'm fake nice (I HOPE I'm not lol). I would say the first point is probably the hallmark sign of a fake nice person, the ones who are only polite and nice to those in authority and are uncaring and rude when it comes to their subordinates/other coworkers.
The animations in this are even cuter than usual:)
I actually find that I personally have an internal need/urge to get external approval and acceptance and tend to offer people a lot of gifts, hoping it will fulfill me. It only fulfills temporarily, and often it’s disappointing to find out they don’t like you anyway despite trying to be kind. My therapist and I are working on not seeking external validation ❤️
It’s different when I do it just to be nice and expect nothing back, but expecting them to immediately like you for what you did is not healthy
Timestamps:
1. Keep my wife’s name out your-
Aight thats a good one
Look at you, thinking you did something. probably smirking, & really thought, “yeah this the one.”