I am flattered at the shoutout! 🙂 It does seem like feeling misunderstood is more common with INFJs. A lot of us tend to be "odd ducks" with unconventional opinions about society and life. We can understand others well but that understanding often isn't given back to us, almost like a one-sided mirror. So having someone who can understand us at the core is incredibly healing.
I agree completely ! It seems to be an ongoing journey, re learning about INFJ, and how it may pertain to myself ! And 'yes', that mention re suicide, also seems to fit, as the amount of struggles, etc, which one seems to have to deal with alone, can be very heavy ! Keep up your great work, as it is helpful for those of us like yourself who are also going thru the same issues !
As an older INFJ, I would like to say to you Clay, and other INFJ's; be kinder to yourself. We are so hard on ourselves, self-blaming and taking responsibility for things we did not do. If we can so easily forgive transgressions in others, then we can surely be kinder to ourselves.
🌟Some Humans might Project their Lack of Love for self and Feelings and vulnerability onto Others, so they might Gaslight and lash Out If U Show Up in full Honesty. They might Not be able to allow themselves to BE vulnurable to BE Essence, so they neither allow Others. 😊 Given Up taking IT personally, ITS Just showing me what there is inside of themselves. Infjs/infp many more, might offend Others in some way naturally and than Others react, coz there is some Energy Shift going on. BE urself, your Essence Brothers. Souls are pure Gold and Essence, pure Truth. Blessings Dears. 🙏🏻💕😊
Another on point video, Clay. As a child, I think my parents didn't understand my lack of engagement with the physical world...Se. They would sign me up for all kinds of sports and express non stop annoyance at my overall lethargy. None of us understood that my need to engage Ni required stillness and solitude.
I think I go back to my theory about people who were unwanted by their parents in childhood (unwanted on some level by their parents or one of them before or just after birth) because there were times when I thought I was somehow "secretly" adopted, even though there is no evidence for that. When someone lives in trauma all the time, there is no way to realize that there is any trauma because it has become the norm for a "normal life".
I relate to that. My older sister was autistic and then my younger sister was born. So I was really neglected by my family. Never heard by them. Was forced to be the older, understanding sister. No one ever took my side or tried to understand me. So I think that's my trauma. Though now, after gradually sharing my thoughts, vulnerabilities and everything has my family finally started to understand me and take notice of me. I'm 20 now But it still takes a lot to open up to people in a new environment. Eg in university as of now. But I'm working on that. Struggling a bit but yea.
This is what I’ve learned to preserve my true self and integrity - be a chameleon and detach, most especially with the ones that are not true: people, situations, interactions. All my true power will go towards anything where I can focus on self love, healing, and for others who are worthy of us.
Being a infj male is especially more challenging, because the society are expecting male to be tough and less sensitive to emotions. In fact, almost 90% of males I met in my life were not able to resonate feelings with others. So there's the inability of most males in nature not be able to feel and the society giving stereotypes on men both challenging infj males. I do find talking to women is much more pleasant and relaxing. However, some women would not appreciate that either, given we have so much stereotypes. Whenever I give off real thoughts that's not up to the social standard of men, neither men or women would stand up and give support, especially during face to face conversations. I once said that I disliked most Chinese men (I'm Chinese men also 😅) in a group surrounded by Asian females. And I knew I spoke the truth they wanted to hear, because some of them had traumatizing experience with Chinese men and they are now married to Western men. I'm not trying to put stereotypes on Chinese men. The truth is just that Chinese men had this very twisted mindset about sex and gender that I found very unpleasant. However, during that group conversation, no one chose to stand up. Those who had bad experience with Chinese men in their past relationships were even trying to speak up for them. I found this very funny that when dealing with hard core truth, most people are just trying to avoid. But still I found your video very encouraging. Thanks for giving off the support to the community. This has giving me strength to keep being myself and sharing feelings. Honestly I don't think I wanna give a damn about people's thoughts anymore.
Sadness due to not being able to connect deeply and be understood. Sometimes I wonder "am I not putting enough effort; or I just haven't found a person I feel I can connect with on that level?" I like how you mentioned starvation when it comes to missing that connection only certain people can give you. I'm usually depressed and can't get enthusiastic as easily as other people, but the moment there's a person I connect with this changes. It's almost like a boost..Is it because we feel seen and understood? Do we then feel like we actually do exist and someone sees us? Food for thought again...😅. It's sweet that you have found a partner you can connect with and spend hours talking with about everything and anything. Here's to hoping the rest of us will too ✨ And omg!!! The moment we go "Uh oh I said too much" while the other person might think nothing of it. One thing I learned this year was that I have a big issue with vulnerability. It's exactly like you said! My few stories but that's it...the rest is hidden! Even from me sometimes
Yes, looking for that one, who may enjoy talking to a depth, especially when married to a narcissistic person . With narcissistic people, there are no deep discussions, as so many things are taken personally, so all I get is an instant eruption, explosion of anger ! A long time ago, I finally figured out, that there was no sense in even trying to talk, to have an opinion ! ( But, of course, he has no idea that he is so 'undelightful' !
@@joyreinhardt7621 did you separate? I hope you find a kindred spirit with whom you will be able to communicate and they will be emotionally available.🙏🏻
I struggle with this daily and thus have decided to simply give up on human relationships. They aren't worth it. The ONE person who understood me turned out to be my abuser, a toxic, narcissist who weaponized every single one of my vulnerabilities--I relived my traumatic childhood all over again. Two years out and I can't seem to heal. People terrify me.
I can relate. It has happened to me. Set me into a hyper self preservation mode. Can be friendly but hold people at arms length. Feels isolating but at the same time safe. There's a kind of mistrust but not simply mistrust in others, but more like a mistrust of the place we have amongst people and the world. I've been looking at how this places me on the spectrum of INFJ, in terms of healthy and unhealthy......in my case the trauma has developed some unhealthy aspects which I have been working on. Counselling has helped navigate this. Not sure if this is helpful, hope it is.❤
The only upside to having been abused by a narcissist is that you will see those red flags early on in both potential lovers and friends. And if you get a good counselor, you will have an ally by your side who you can relay information to about these potential people you might like to associate with. Please don't think being alone forever is healthy. It's not. You deserve love and companionship.
As an INFJ I never really felt understood by anyone: family/friends etc. until at the age of 33 I met an INFP with whom I was finally able to be authentic and have deep conversations. But that's okay. For me it's important to find people who are willing to understand you and help them out in the process of understanding you. Yeah vulnerability is often necessary. It can backfire sometimes but it's about how we react to the negative responses. Finding the right people with whom we can be vulnerable/authentic is key. So, keep looking for another INFJs/Introverts/HSPs perhaps; even consider going to therapy. But also any other people who actually care about you and truly want to learn about you. The rest, don't worry, you can't force everyone to get you and your personality.
What I felt, realized, is, that NF Guys are able to Go deep and Most NF people might need to "find" themselves First, coz Most in World is more Sensory s-type based. So No one really teaches U how to "use" or "BE comfortable" with Intuition. I feel as If NF, Intuition General, seems more connected with "Spirit" and If a Spiritual, intuitive Feeler gets thrown Out from Metaphysik, Into the real physical World, IT can be "shocking", coz in your internal system, U knew, U know, U feel "man, that World is Not the place I know, IT can be so cruel and shocking" So Imagine Adam and Eve Being at Eden, Fell down in Earth, remembering the devine peaceful Places, and now they can find themselves at hell too. So IT can be traumatizing for many people, coz their internal Guide "knows" that there is "Eden". That is I felt all time. A Kid with 5 thinking, Feeling "No, IT should feel, Look different in Earth. That is Not the place "I know" Not the Kindness "I know", and than U Land in that Tiny Body and experience the opposite from what U "know", which can me traumatizing and shocking and therefore teaching, talking, giving Kindness, coz U know IT should be all different and filled with meekness, Kindness, Soul, coz this is the origin, the Essence of human cores, but they might have forgotten, or might relearn. Blessings.
I think you're right about the trauma bit... I often wonder what came first, the trauma or the INFJ? If that makes sense. I had a pretty traumatic childhood that I've spent years processing and making peace with so I'm not 'whining about it, just speaking of my history. We moved more than we stayed (went to 13 different school districts in nearly as many different states) and I think that fed into my INFJ. I had no choice but to read people, read rooms, read situations... To stay ahead of what was happening before it did if you will. Unfortunately my trauma laden childhood led me to marry into chaos and stay in it for three decades. Nearly gave my life to it before I left because my ex was a malignant criminal narcissist (I know, that's thrown around a lot but he literally attempted to kill me before I left and was arrested several times etc etc etc so I say I am legit in saying that). I've been healthier than I've ever been in my life since I left and have remarried to someone who brings peace to my life instead of chaos. All that being said, a lot of trauma in my history and I am an INFJ to my core. So that bit of what you said resonated. Also, the creativity part... I've been driven to many different forms of creativity as almost a compulsion. (I write a blog, I do photography, I do 'paper crafts' etc etc) I'm rambling. Just wanted to shout out and say I appreciate your videos and thank you for your honesty and transparency.
It's crazy. I went from being what's described in this video, to the complete opposite over the last 5 years. I call myself an INXJ because I went from this exact definition, to really not giving 2 fu**s about what people think or say about me. Depending on the circumstances, I swing from F to T, at least in my opinion. From over caring to absolutely not giving a fu**, but that's usually after I'm completely exhausted from trying to get someone to understand me. The truth is, I care(d) so much that I was never actually able to just be me, and like a snapped rubberband, I ended up swinging in the other direction very heavily. Even aggressively. And though I feel MUCH more at peace within myself, being exactly who I am, with the outside world I'm in complete disarray. And I'm once again realizing why I was the way I was, in the first place. "What's the point? They'll never get it. They are literally incapable of getting it. This is why I just let them talk and keep my thoughts to myself." ⬆️ I constantly catch myself trying to get people to see things they're incapable of seeing. I constantly have to remind myself that I'm only adding undue stress and drama into my own life and I should really just step back, become a Silent Watcher, and let the world figure it all out without me. Nobody listens to me anyway lol. I can't get folks to understand me and my thought processes, let alone how I see reality and what should be done to improve it. I thought, if I could just explain myself and my positions better, there's no way they can disagree with me, they'll have to see what I'm saying and be able to absorb it, especially if I explain it thoroughly, in detail, in plain english, from 16 different angles/perspectives, using metaphors, analogies, pop culture references, pre-solving all possible problems and responses, Etc. They'll have to get it..... But no..... they literally don't have to get it and they almost certainly won't get it. It just is what it is.
@@joyreinhardt7621 I have, I'm just not sure if that really defines me or not though. Because when it comes to the traits that would make me Sigma, I'm not sure if they're truly mine, or if they're just a byproduct of unhealthy experiences. The older I get, the more introverted I become. Mostly based on no longer wanting to deal with people. But I don't know if that's really because I'm simply stepping more into my sigma self, or if I'm just tired of interacting with humans. But I will look more into it. Thank you.
Just the other day I was thinking about meeting up with friends from my young adult years recently and how we still had this connection, even though all our lives have taken different paths. I came to the conclusion that it was because we formed those relationships when we were young and vulnerable. I thought of other relationships from my younger years and the connection we still have and what was the difference between those and relationships formed in adult years? Vulnerability. I think that life and it’s experience close us off to vulnerability in adulthood because of fear; because of the consequences of showing vulnerability in adulthood.
Vulnerability can be difficult and you can make friends online from it. As an INFJ I agree. Felt so uncomfortable the first time I was fully open with someone and it was online an INFP I had to keep checking they where ok with me telling them what I was saying they actually seemed to love that I was able to share with them. We get on really well. Some people don’t like it but that’s not your problem if they don’t want to hear it. Some people just can’t handle depth. Haha the birds fish video right there. 😅
@@shannon1242 It is strange the way it seems to work. Both seem very similar so we can understand each other however I think the differences make INFJ/INFPs see things in a different way. So it helps because of both of them aspects. I always like making new connections with INFPs now as I get a very similar feeling of closeness.
As an Infp man I love when my Infj friends are vulnerable with me. We want that. As Infps we want everyone to be and be able to feel that they can be their deepest, most vulnerable selfs. Their autentic selfs with us. We can feel sad and actually become a bit paranoid if the Infj don't share. It is frustrating for us. Then it feels like Infj don't trust us, and are we really friends etc. I learned to handle those feelings.
Clay, the nicknames of cognitive functions you use are actually from Personality Hacker (Personality Junkie created different nicknames). It's just a detail and I make this kind of mistakes often... but I suppose you want to tell us the correct sources of information. I love your videos. The content helped me so much to cope with my perfectionism... to not be afraid to be myself and show myself to the world. I even created my own website and I am doing creative work that I enjoy and find meaningful. It's funny to me sometimes how much I feel understood by you, even though you don't know me at all. Thank you! Sending INFJ greetings from the Czech Republic :)
Hi Clay. This video has perfect timing for me. I have problem with being overly secretive. It impacts my life so hard in negative way that I can't share almost anything from my trueself to my close friends and family. It does not need to be something too personal, just common things like where do I go outside or some new things I buy make me problem to share. And some personal things I need to share with my close friends they are like single pieces of puzzle of me or the person they think I am when I'm with them. It's so hard for me to get through it.
Thanks, Clay for this video. You brought up one interesting topic whether INFJs are made from trauma, I believe it. Before trauma, I felt I was just like anybody else, or maybe I was unsure of myself but that trauma made me into this person which helped me deal with all that chaotic experiences in an unusual way and made me understand myself better. And when we deal with negative people we often feel misunderstood. We have to let them go and then we will know for sure that whatever feelings we are having are legitimate. We have to understand ourselves better because most of the time when we are with toxic people we get this confusion whether we are even good people. Like you said finding someone who understands us will give us enough proof that we are sane. But unfortunately, there is difficulty in finding such people.
The problem for me with being vulnerable sometimes in order to feel more understood, is that it recently backfired on me big time. That freaks me out a bit. And also, Clay, when you allow yourself to be vulnerable, do you later overthink the hell out of what you did? The time when it backfired simply made me want to door slam the guy. Too much past negative history with him as my friend. I have made a newer friend who is an INTJ and we totally clicked and I was more vulnerable with him than I have ever been in my life. It scares me, but so far, even overthinking, I don't feel it was wrong to share with him. Mostly because he doesn't judge me at all. I really get along with INTJs. He, my friend, and my man are both INTJs. Go figure lol.
Yep! This is why so may of us interested in MBTI, so many of us are content creators/ consumers. We are looking for a certain *type* of connection that seems to elude us, and our guardedness makes it even more difficult to find. I feel an affinity for the things you share because we have many similarities: I too recently divorced an ESTJ, left church, and I think we may have (close to) the same birthday. Your vids are often a perfect reflection of what's going on in my brain!
Thank you so much for sharing your stories. This relates to me and my life so much. I'm 64 and just found out I was INFJ and it makes everything make sense!
Was talking with someone just recently, and was able to talk to /tell him re INFJ, something he had no knowledge, or idea of ! No, it does not 'fix' our lives, but it can make things more understandable !
Thanks Clay. Nice to hear from you. My difficulty with vulnerability is, my sensing and doublechecking,…. “Smell test”… so to speak, the possible “vessel “ I’ll be pouring my vulnerability into. If that makes sense. Example. I can speak here at your channel/comment section, because I have seen the honesty here. This is rare. On the other hand. Past attempts into painful mistakes, are seen and over. Your observations are always considered a class and education. Thanks. You are lucky to have found Lexi.
I have developed coping mechanisms from experiences that have affected me traumatically, however I don’t believe my experiences would be considered “objectively” traumatic or traumatizing to many other individuals. I find this idea interesting when considering what you said about INFJ’s feeling trauma as part of their nature of feeling misunderstood and isolated. Thanks for another thoughtful video Clay.
Thanks again Clay for your validating food for thought. I got exited seeing that you posted another video. I needed to hear that vulnerability is important to help me start a business I’ve been too scared to start for the last over a decade.
Whenever I share a video or post that is meaningful to me in some way, I rarely receive positive comments about it, even from my own family. They find it "normal" or unnecessary/ nothing special in it (like "meh"). That just breaks me internally when I overshared a part of myself even to my family members. Do I lack "taste" or understanding about my family's interests and am I the odd one who finds meaning in "meh" stuff? I say some joke or sarcastic things that land poorly, even within my closest circle. This made me wonder if nobody is going to understand me and accept my authentic self. I felt really sad because I want to be at least accepted by my family and when I do not get that bare minimum from my community, I want to hide inside my cocoon again and keep things that I find "amazing" to myself. Thank you for being vulnerable here. I really appreciate you for hammering it on my head that "people are always not going to like things you like, nevertheless, be vulnerable". Even though it might sound obvious, I am really struggling to accept it.
When you have significant trauma and are thus cracked open, you are forced to talk, to communicate, to reach out. By speaking and attempting to verbalize your vulnerability, you are better able to be understood. I experienced this last year. I didn't think my sister would understand because she is an ISFP and I as an INFJ, had just been left by my husband after finding out he was having an affair with one of his married colleagues. I don't have fear of oversharing anymore and her groundedness helped me to realize that no this was not my fault ( though I was blamed for why he was having this emotional affair when I caught him). It would be interesting to hear about your marriage and all that you learned from that experience. I am currently in the throes of quite an "eventful life event" with separation and divorce. We have a 3-year-old son and the co-parenting is interesting. I don't know any INFJ's in real life, especially ones who have gone through divorce with children.
Thank you Clay, love your videos. I can relate to a lot of things you talked about in this video. I have kinda gave up on connection and being understood and went my own way, just did what I thought it’s right for me, expressed my true self more and more and I don’t feel misunderstood anymore. I was able to find people like me along the way and formed deep connections.
This was so powerful, Clay. I have been thinking about this a lot lately. I've enjoyed creative writing my entire life but always feel a sense of anxiety around sharing it with people I actually know. This can even make it difficult to write or finish something, thinking about how it could be received by people in my life, and potentially one day, the Twitter masses. I was finally able to write, finish, and share things by writing anonymous fanfiction lol. But I really want to focus on original stuff now. I don't think this happens overnight- from childhood, we have all these experiences of our ideas not being understood or appreciated, so we learn to bury it thirty feet beneath the ground. But your video provided some baby steps to take in the direction of living more authentically. Thank you for helping us lost little INFJ's make our way in this world lol.
I don't think being an INFJ is a consequence of trauma. I consider one of my children to be an INFJ (as am I) and when I think back to how he was as a newborn, he had INFJ traits from the first minute of his life. Of course, we can say that it's a consequence of the trauma of birth. But his siblings also must have been born and behaved completely differently right from birth.
It is interesting .. how would you describe your perception of his 'INFJ traits from the first minute of his life?'. So far all INFJs (and INTJs) I have met are (in my "strong" opinion) carrying a childhood trauma. Maybe it's reversed, the intuitive personality hardly get it's needs met (and understood), resulting in a trauma. Also sending greetings from Czechia :).
@@MartinHinner It was obvious from the first time I held him in my arms that he had a preference for introversion. It's hard to put it into words, but he was so in himself. But when I started talking to him, he responded with his eyes and it was like if all my words fell deep inside him and there connected into something that made sense to him. He recognized me by my voice and although he couldn't even smile yet, he laughed with his eyes. He's almost five now and doesn't seem traumatized. He knows what he wants and how to ask for it. He has pretty good social skills - he knows what to tell to people to make them happy (which sometimes seems even manipulative from my point of view). He has his strong visions, plans, opinions... He has a great fantasy...
@@akakikola Hmmm... I have 10-year old VeryLikelyIntrovertedSon, but I was clueless about his personality when I held him for the first time. But I must say it was very strong moment for me, my emotions, and they quickly took him from me for tests, so it was only a few minutes. Even now I cannot tell if it's more anxiety (~insecurity) or introversion. More likely the latter, at least I hope.
Thanks so much for sharing. I love watching all your videos. I am an INFP with INFJ partner and I feel like your content helps me understand ways I can "get out of my own head" and be a better partner to him!
Thank you for your words and sharing your insights. Thank you for putting it out to the public, and thank you for the specific impact it made and makes on me. I notice myself practicing looking at the world in new ways, as result of your videos and what you share on Instagram. It is meaningful and appreciated!
Thank you for sharing your journey and experiences with us. It's so sporty on about the cycle of feelings associated with vulnerability. I wrote an article on Narcissism for Elephant Journal, trying to focus on the fact that when we proclaim another a narcissist we too are narcisstic in our inability step outside of OUR experiences (very me me me, as we're all acting from a place of healing through and acting out OF, our traumas). It was interesting how many people were able to follow, and others assumed I hadn't been caught up in my own interpersonal experiences as trespasser AND trespassed, it was more highly received that I was trying to survivor shame, or accuse; as opposed to saying "Hey, we should step back a bit and heal." Pschology 101, we're misunderstood a lot of times because people's tkle on US, IS ACTUALLY their inner shadows and the place they ARE at, transposing and causing them to percieve everything from their "emotionally tinted glasses." They feel a way because of what you're doing, but connect it with YOU. Not realizing they see it that way because of how THEY are (not to absolve of personal responsibility, as we can always be kinder, calmer, etc). So much love to you my fellow INFJS, our work is so important ❤
Maybe every consistent human relationship exists because of vulnerability besides personality types. But vulnerability is hard if it keeps being onesided and also if its is at the workplace like I am facing at the moment which leads to me closing off to people entirely like when I was a teenager. It's hard to keep being vulnearble if you can't see progression in a set system of human relationships. But for INFJs in general it is probably the best advice to feel happy in society.
watching this video right after door slaming a really important influential person in my life who seemingly never understood me and made me feel weird and unheard . It took me a lot of thinking and overthinking about it and was kinda insecure about my decision, after seeing this i realize i made the right and really healthy decision ! and i feel good about it in fact . thanks again Clayyyy
Ah, the good old 'door slam' ! After I began to learn about INFJ, I discovered that I had already done that to someone in my life ! LOL ! Looking back,. it does seem like such a healthy thing to do !
It’s always hard for me to feel vulnerable because most people don’t understand where I’m coming from or they want it that way but I have my own methods of doing things I try to explain to them but they would act like it’s just a phase that’s why for me just being quiet is the best medicine because I know they will come back around and ask me that they felt bad about it
I totally agree, vulnerability is the key! You should watch Brené Brown TED talk called The power of vulnerability. I really enjoyed your video! Thank you for that. Also, I would be interested in one about your separation, I myself went through a similar situation (split up with a narcissist that I’ve been with 15 years and we have a child together, our son is 11 now and we are co-parenting).
I’ve been married for over 40 years to a man who has no idea who I am or what I want. I am alone and I’ve grown to like it that way. I do my maidly duties, we are not even good roommates. We have nothing in common. When we first got together we were both pot heads and loved having sex. We haven’t had sex for almost 20 years, physically impossible for him. If anything ever happens to him and I’m alone, I will be ok. I know that you don’t believe in Yeshua, but He is my truest love.
Exposure therapy is definitely very important. I remember being younger and being afraid to even talk to people, let alone share anything about myself. As time has gone on, I've learned how important it is to me to express myself to people by sharing my opinion or sharing my art and I've begun to let that be a vehicle for building up my own sense of self as well. Instead of retreating when I get negative attention, I have to stand my ground and defend my beliefs and my work. I think there will always be a part of us that will have that little voice in our head heckle us about one negative comment or about how out of line we might've been, but it becomes less influential the more we branch out and exercise our ego.
I had to deprioritize many people. I found a lot of mean girl energy directed towards me. I guess I hoped to be accepted with a group that I could be vulnerable with. I noticed that these women were not reciprocating. Example: I would compliment a particular woman who would never compliment me back. So I stopped complimenting her and just acknowledge her with a smile and hello. I’m working on vulnerability. I want to be authentic but like you said in other videos, we have to filter our output. I don’t want to be a target. Thank you for this channel.💛
"underyling sadness" - yep, the intj lady i'm dating atm, told me this in the beginning. She's right, I told her that, but the details were to be revealed to her down the line. She gets a little bit more understanding now and she's like " aha!, i know why(imma use mbti language for this even though she doesnt like mbti lol), its because you don't use TE enough...and I'm like "well, that's true and...thats the underlying sadness, I am who I am and I can't change that? I wouldn't be me if I had good use of TE? Obviously there is more to it, but I thought I'd share this cause I found it funny
About being born out of trauma... I think I was around 8/9 years old when for the very first time I realized i was just being used by someone who I thought was my friend (granted we were 7 to 8 years old lol so it was little things like, she would always borrow my stuff and ask me to help her but when I need help she would not reciprocate.) And then after that I started to think about "putting myself in other people's shoes" so that I won't hurt others like how my friend had hurt me. And I think it was born from there...
Hello! Watching you from Poland. Great video. The thing about vulnerability really suprised me and I think it's gonna change the way I approach my life and handle realtionships at some point! Right when I needed it as I am currently trying to open up to some people and reveal my secrets to them.
i love that you and lexi are so comfortable with communication, enmeshment and deep connection--it seems incredibly healthy to me. The world of interpersonal relationships has become so emotionally detached. The content on this channel is awesome. I always learn thru your observations.
as soon as you said the solution as an INFJ was wournabilty i understood, i have been very vourlnerbal the latest years and i have earned so much from it, and got to take away some bad fruites.
Sometimes, I don't feel I overshared. Rather, I feel I dumbed my thoughts down and come off as partial truth, so I retreat. For me, part of the process is to be comfortable with just putting them out there even though it might not be understandable for all. The expectation to be understood is the root of the problem.
I've been having a stressful time at work and something I heard in another INFJ video that the best way to get out of the Ni Ti loop is to lean into your Fe, which here is vulnerability and it's working decently. I would get that OMG I just emotionally dumped on someone I don't know that well feeling before but this time I'm not. I don't know what changed other then before I started this job I went through that which kind of work mask shall I have and I wanted goofy, jokey, and authentic even if I'm in a more leadership role. So, I leaned into that when blowing off steam with a few coworkers (instead of dumping hard on one). I haven't felt those regrets. Also, the fact that our nature of asking follow-up questions when people are vulnerable with you meant it was returning the favor of being "real". I'm also not as obsessive about understanding the illogical people that are causing the work stress as I have been in the past during the Ni Ti loop so I think there is something to it. I can also vouch for practicing your shadow introverted feelings anonymously online. I got a lot of practice when younger of being utterly honest and authentic about everything and I did make those lifelong friends I could have my deep conversations with as well as grow that thicker skin because I enjoyed being quite the troll and rilng people up. Dealing with people outside of just the net I lost a lot of that keep it realness that I'm trying to get back.
Thank you for the video. I wish I would have had the knowledge of personality types, specifically INFJ's, available to me when I was younger. I took the test, more than once (the logical thinker I am). I was astounded at the breakdown of characteristics. It explained so many aspects of who I am on a deep level it was exciting and shocking at the same time. I've felt a lot of my life that I was different, didn't fit in with any social groups. I would try to fit in and could if I made a strong effort. But then I would feel like the rules of the group were needless and/or stupid and I didn't want to follow it. I could not find a social group or organized religion I could stay with for very long for the same reasons. If I found any kind of hypocritical, judgmental or illogical aspects to it, I was out of there. So even though I longed to fit in, to help others and make a difference, I never stayed with any group for very long because my built in BS meter would inevitably go off, and that was it. I had no tolerance for it. I had to believe in it 100 percent or not at all. I know that's black and white thinking but I think of it more as what I value the most. Honesty and authenticity. I can smell the opposite a mile away and frankly it repulses me. I can't be bothered with someone who vomits word salad that has fluff but no substance to it. I am a mature woman now and I understand how I am. I am a bit of a contradiction as most INFJ's are. I am a easy going perfectionist and a logically thinking empath. I love to learn and if I get into a subject that peaks my interest, I'm glued onto it like a laser. I absolutely detest small talk but can talk for hours about a subject I'm passionate about. I have never fit in with most groups of women. I've never cared for girly girl stuff. I appreciate craftsmanship, but to pay 3,000 dollars for a plain purse because of the label? Because of who made it? I find that absolutely ridiculous and a waste of money. Anyway, I think being an INFJ is both difficult and wonderful. Frustrating and fulfilling. Kind of crazy but in a good way.
Wonderful dear Soul Clay to hear of U again. 😊 Appreciate Ur FE much. Thanks 😊🙏🏻🌟💕 WHO Else feels Bit sad, that many seem to BE shallow, Not Dive deep Into Spirit and Soul, Fe, Thoughts, Intuition in real face to face World? WHO Else finds Soultribe more online than offline? Blessings 🌎🙏🏻💫 WHO is Thinking of orange, Yellow, Blue Chakra. Solarplexus, Sacral and Throatchakra Activation. 🌠 Dear Clay, I deeply want to thank U 4 speaking my Core. I have Hidden my Feelings, my Truths, did Not communicate those and therefore No one could have really connected with my Core, so I felt unseen and isolated. Is this an infj/infp/enfp/introvert Thing? Awareness helps in any Case. Thx. Happy Healing. 🙏🏻💕
It takes time to understand something better. I think the main problem is not having enough time to understand and accept a new personality in your life. I don't think it's possible to understand each other even after 5 hours of nonstop conversation online.:) And just to be blocked after it without any reason.
Do you think it is possible to apologize to an INFJ who doorslamed you either several months or years later? I'm an INFP who dated one and the communication after we broke up was confusing. Anyway, I wanted the INFJ perspective because I just want to make things right and move forward.
If I feel somebody has wrong me enough for a door slam, the only way for the door to be reopened is for them to convince me that they fully understand the problem and have a way to fix it for the future. The issue is most INFJs will not doorslam unless the situation is completely hopeless and unlikely to ever resolve.
INFJ, my trauma was being told I had an incurable terminal medical condition at the age of 4 plus how it harmed me over the years and even temp flat-lined from it. I have another, but might share a bit too much harm shared that is personal.
I suspect you are exactly correct. How can anyone get better at anything unless they practice it? So, setting up outer conditions that allow you to reveal more of your inner nature in a way that feels safer to you is a good way to dip your toes into the water of vulnerability and the real emotions you might be carrying around. Or the thoughts you have about your own and others emotions. Brenee Brown has tons of research and books that write about vulnerability, connection and resilience. If you’re interested in the research side of it. But the reason INFJ’s make fast friends typically, is because they have a natural capacity to get others to open up to them because they appear to be accepting and non-judgmental. If you’re in an environment where you are inside an atheist and everyone else is a Christian, you are actually just the opposite pole of the same thing. To get outside of that environment, you cannot define your identity by God. A Christian defines who they are by specific beliefs regarding Jesus Christ. An atheist says no creator exists. Both define themselves by comparison to a creator / redeemer. I was once a Christian. At 29, I turned away from the church and became a serious doubter. I now define God as being WITHIN ME, not OUTSIDE of me. I’m not Christian, Buddhist, or any particular religion you could specifically define. I’m just a human being trying to allow His light to shine through me whenever possible. No other definition is necessary for me. But I understand if that seems to vague for other people and allow them to be who they are in my presence as long as they are respectful. As far as your question about INFJ’s being born into trauma or being designed to almost constellation it around them, I suspect it’s both. Just like the age old nature or nurture question of babies, are the parents responsible for how the child turns out or was the child born a particular way? Human beings are complex and the timing for when we “wake up” and decide to co-create with God is different for everyone. I woke up when I became a doubter and stopped allowing others to interpret spiritual teachings for me. Your videos here, are showing your process of waking up.
As an INFJ absolutely ALWAYS misunderstood but once I found God fully I no longer even care I know I walk wit him an as long as we know we we're not harmful quite opposite so I'm proud today I love who I am. An I definitely had 2 Narcissistic abusive parents alot of gaslighting an soul crushing shit. But don't talk to them anymore an educating on these ABUSES is important to me no child should have to deal wit these abuses
i want to say that youre soulution to the problem is they way to go. be enonymis on the interenet at first just to see that people actually respond positiv
I have some questions that I hope Clay or anyone reading this might like to answer. I have done the Myers Briggs test a number of times not all with the same question sets and structure. I've managed to get 3 different results and I don't know what to make of it. One question set resulted in INFP, another ENFJ, and another as INFJ. So needless to say it is confusing leaving me doubting the test altogether. Is it the test and the way each different test structures it's questions, is it me and my state of mind when taking the test, or is the test itself flawed? So I dived into yours and other RUclips programs to see if I could pin which one of the three may more likely to be the correct profile. I found that yours, Clays, breakdown was the the one I could identify with most, of all I've looked at. So I'm wondering whether that would therefore be enough to conclude that I am in fact an INFJ? Any thoughts anyone?
For anyone who is looking for help developing Vulnerability look up Brené Brown. She has an insightful Ted Talk and a few fantastic books on the subject. Her work helped me out a lot!
INFJs are very misunderstood, which is logical since we have reduced numbers. Our type's empathy and hypersensitivity are useless to explain to others. In my view, we live at a higher frequency than ordinary people, and we should dedicate ourselves to our development and, as possible, have a lifestyle where we can be alone and in peace to recharge. We function in the opposite way than the average person, which is mostly ego-based.
Hi Clay, Im not sure (no) any INFJ falling cliffs to become in INFJ. There might be groups. - got the pain from same blood(1). It is a bit uneasy to share the pain. - got pain from outside of blood(2). It is easy to share the pain. To me -emotional abuse is a bit difficulty to detect or have a name of pain in space and time (3) -fiscal abuse is easier to determine name of pain in space and time (4). Since I was growing up to this point (51 years old), I live and work with 3 INFP personalities and I go through life with many Elizabeth Keen in Black List. With I INFP, If I see black cat passing by, INFP often say: “I say white cat”. I don’t say anything thing that point, tell INFP eight hours after to avoid conflicts. Why ? Human often believe what they know by their own construction’s mind (childhood mind). With Elizabeth Keen, I don’t talk anything, I just move my plan after thinking carefully as chess player to execute each steps of puzzle to the end. Elizabeth Keen often don’t see (feel) your kindness, but opposition side of you. With INTJs, I have to move so they see my road make senses to them because they have dot memories as INFJ too. INFJ friends, you know thing a head of others, so you the one has to actively move ahead. Fiscal exercises as running, martial art, gym, snowboard, bike along road …and others make your mind strong and stronger. In those activities, people might tell you weak, but It is ok. Your mind will use them in different set of game in life to execute puzzle or become more assertive. If you don’t go ahead, your guts will punch you from inside out. I started to cook since I was seventh or eighth year old, so I don’t depend on anyone. All good conversations have to be as people use walkie-talkie, otherwise don’t do or come back another time. My English might not as good as you was born with. I hope my writing help. Thank you for reading!
Thank you Joy. If I have a opportunity to work or live with other personalities, I might be able to feel (see, know..) that there are two minds in the same person. If I tell them that makes people scared (or are you sure ? Feel wired). And if parents honestly told me their childhoods, I might understand (know) many things up to grandparents or great grandparents. Forgiveness and knowledge give us a purpose to live this life. No oneself feel, see or know as we do. Yes it is the most loneliest in life . Thank you again !
Thank you Clay, I want to say thank you for your video as I’m newly here, I’m INFJ and I thought nobody can be around me and I’m the only person who thinks this way. I just come out of a turbulent relationship with a true narcissist and I’m recovering from cPTSD, depression and anxiety. Is anyone knows how long is INFJ takes to heal from complex trauma?
I've often wondered if infg knows they are dealing with another infg an try to Double down an almost manipulate the other one to throw the other infg off often wondered this
I'd rather stay Alone if I can't have all the boxes that are important to me not going into any thing an only getting half of whst I want oh jts goid but no not happening an first sign if it I'm gone I don't care if I have to walk rain sleet snow I'd rather be alone then
I guess you are stuck with INFJ in producing this kind of material of videos. I am INFJ myself. mis understood because of the mind thoughts doing the work. Loud internally on hobby is great, Loud internally on emotional is bad, more like depression. Multiple topics that link together while talking. Since it is rare for a male INFJ, it is even rare for me as a Malaysian Chinese male like me have all the language resources to dive even deeper in this topic. I guess you are stuck with ENGLISH resources. If a country only have vegetables that don't have meat it is like lack of nutritional in mind and thought for thoughts. Work along with your own twin internally. Don't dive too deep with friends, just only share when u know the type of character of the other person. The negative comments bother you because you put a lot of energy and feelings inside. Please make friends with INFJ like me. Tq. I also got stuck if I give my negative comment or probably suggestion on other youtube videos either in Malay, Chinese or English from the world experience. It also put make me stuck with the energy to fight back internally loudly. So it drains so much of my energy. Anyhow I hope u guys don't stuck. Make more friends on INFJ and share hobby. Make friends with me, like old days, it is like pen friends.
Best thing to do is find like minded people to be with first step i did was self reflection ok is it me lets try another approach after realization get rid of them not rudely eitger unless have to just less time spent with until moved on
Clay: Ur Photography is Fine artistic. 🤗Thanks much for telling Here, that U are at Instagram, I did Not know that 🙏🏻😊 Maybe U could Put a Button Here at headline of RUclips too, Like a Link to follow your Instagram Artist and Thought Account. 💕
I am flattered at the shoutout! 🙂
It does seem like feeling misunderstood is more common with INFJs. A lot of us tend to be "odd ducks" with unconventional opinions about society and life. We can understand others well but that understanding often isn't given back to us, almost like a one-sided mirror. So having someone who can understand us at the core is incredibly healing.
Yes
I agree completely ! It seems to be an ongoing journey, re learning about INFJ, and how it may pertain to myself ! And 'yes', that mention re suicide, also seems to fit, as the amount of struggles, etc, which one seems to have to deal with alone, can be very heavy ! Keep up your great work, as it is helpful for those of us like yourself who are also going thru the same issues !
Agree. Let make friends. INFJ helps INFJ. It is definitely a treasured friendship. Sign me in.
As an older INFJ, I would like to say to you Clay, and other INFJ's; be kinder to yourself. We are so hard on ourselves, self-blaming and taking responsibility for things we did not do. If we can so easily forgive transgressions in others, then we can surely be kinder to ourselves.
I wish I could love myself 😅
Couldn't agree more 🥺❤️
🌟Some Humans might Project their Lack of Love for self and Feelings and vulnerability onto Others, so they might Gaslight and lash Out If U Show Up in full Honesty. They might Not be able to allow themselves to BE vulnurable to BE Essence, so they neither allow Others. 😊 Given Up taking IT personally, ITS Just showing me what there is inside of themselves. Infjs/infp many more, might offend Others in some way naturally and than Others react, coz there is some Energy Shift going on. BE urself, your Essence Brothers. Souls are pure Gold and Essence, pure Truth. Blessings Dears. 🙏🏻💕😊
Thank you, I needed to read this today
Another on point video, Clay.
As a child, I think my parents didn't understand my lack of engagement with the physical world...Se.
They would sign me up for all kinds of sports and express non stop annoyance at my overall lethargy.
None of us understood that my need to engage Ni required stillness and solitude.
I think I go back to my theory about people who were unwanted by their parents in childhood (unwanted on some level by their parents or one of them before or just after birth) because there were times when I thought I was somehow "secretly" adopted, even though there is no evidence for that.
When someone lives in trauma all the time, there is no way to realize that there is any trauma because it has become the norm for a "normal life".
I relate to that. My older sister was autistic and then my younger sister was born. So I was really neglected by my family. Never heard by them. Was forced to be the older, understanding sister. No one ever took my side or tried to understand me. So I think that's my trauma.
Though now, after gradually sharing my thoughts, vulnerabilities and everything has my family finally started to understand me and take notice of me. I'm 20 now
But it still takes a lot to open up to people in a new environment. Eg in university as of now. But I'm working on that. Struggling a bit but yea.
This is what I’ve learned to preserve my true self and integrity - be a chameleon and detach, most especially with the ones that are not true: people, situations, interactions. All my true power will go towards anything where I can focus on self love, healing, and for others who are worthy of us.
Being a infj male is especially more challenging, because the society are expecting male to be tough and less sensitive to emotions. In fact, almost 90% of males I met in my life were not able to resonate feelings with others. So there's the inability of most males in nature not be able to feel and the society giving stereotypes on men both challenging infj males.
I do find talking to women is much more pleasant and relaxing. However, some women would not appreciate that either, given we have so much stereotypes. Whenever I give off real thoughts that's not up to the social standard of men, neither men or women would stand up and give support, especially during face to face conversations.
I once said that I disliked most Chinese men (I'm Chinese men also 😅) in a group surrounded by Asian females. And I knew I spoke the truth they wanted to hear, because some of them had traumatizing experience with Chinese men and they are now married to Western men. I'm not trying to put stereotypes on Chinese men. The truth is just that Chinese men had this very twisted mindset about sex and gender that I found very unpleasant. However, during that group conversation, no one chose to stand up. Those who had bad experience with Chinese men in their past relationships were even trying to speak up for them. I found this very funny that when dealing with hard core truth, most people are just trying to avoid.
But still I found your video very encouraging. Thanks for giving off the support to the community. This has giving me strength to keep being myself and sharing feelings. Honestly I don't think I wanna give a damn about people's thoughts anymore.
Sadness due to not being able to connect deeply and be understood. Sometimes I wonder "am I not putting enough effort; or I just haven't found a person I feel I can connect with on that level?"
I like how you mentioned starvation when it comes to missing that connection only certain people can give you. I'm usually depressed and can't get enthusiastic as easily as other people, but the moment there's a person I connect with this changes. It's almost like a boost..Is it because we feel seen and understood? Do we then feel like we actually do exist and someone sees us? Food for thought again...😅. It's sweet that you have found a partner you can connect with and spend hours talking with about everything and anything. Here's to hoping the rest of us will too ✨
And omg!!! The moment we go "Uh oh I said too much" while the other person might think nothing of it. One thing I learned this year was that I have a big issue with vulnerability. It's exactly like you said! My few stories but that's it...the rest is hidden! Even from me sometimes
Yes, looking for that one, who may enjoy talking to a depth, especially when married to a narcissistic person . With narcissistic people, there are no deep discussions, as so many things are taken personally, so all I get is an instant eruption, explosion of anger ! A long time ago, I finally figured out, that there was no sense in even trying to talk, to have an opinion ! ( But, of course, he has no idea that he is so 'undelightful' !
@@joyreinhardt7621 did you separate? I hope you find a kindred spirit with whom you will be able to communicate and they will be emotionally available.🙏🏻
@@kristi94 Thx for your concern ! Not yet but hopefully, it is on it's way !
@@joyreinhardt7621 stay strong ♥️ all in divine timing 😁🍀
@@kristi94 Thank- you, so much for your encouragement /understanding !
As an INFJ I do have some symptoms of having suffered trauma but have not been in any major traumatic situation yet thanks be to God.
I struggle with this daily and thus have decided to simply give up on human relationships. They aren't worth it. The ONE person who understood me turned out to be my abuser, a toxic, narcissist who weaponized every single one of my vulnerabilities--I relived my traumatic childhood all over again. Two years out and I can't seem to heal. People terrify me.
I can relate. It has happened to me. Set me into a hyper self preservation mode. Can be friendly but hold people at arms length. Feels isolating but at the same time safe. There's a kind of mistrust but not simply mistrust in others, but more like a mistrust of the place we have amongst people and the world. I've been looking at how this places me on the spectrum of INFJ, in terms of healthy and unhealthy......in my case the trauma has developed some unhealthy aspects which I have been working on. Counselling has helped navigate this. Not sure if this is helpful, hope it is.❤
The only upside to having been abused by a narcissist is that you will see those red flags early on in both potential lovers and friends. And if you get a good counselor, you will have an ally by your side who you can relay information to about these potential people you might like to associate with. Please don't think being alone forever is healthy. It's not. You deserve love and companionship.
As an INFJ I never really felt understood by anyone: family/friends etc. until at the age of 33 I met an INFP with whom I was finally able to be authentic and have deep conversations. But that's okay. For me it's important to find people who are willing to understand you and help them out in the process of understanding you. Yeah vulnerability is often necessary. It can backfire sometimes but it's about how we react to the negative responses. Finding the right people with whom we can be vulnerable/authentic is key. So, keep looking for another INFJs/Introverts/HSPs perhaps; even consider going to therapy. But also any other people who actually care about you and truly want to learn about you. The rest, don't worry, you can't force everyone to get you and your personality.
What I felt, realized, is, that NF Guys are able to Go deep and Most NF people might need to "find" themselves First, coz Most in World is more Sensory s-type based. So No one really teaches U how to "use" or "BE comfortable" with Intuition.
I feel as If NF, Intuition General, seems more connected with "Spirit" and If a Spiritual, intuitive Feeler gets thrown Out from Metaphysik, Into the real physical World, IT can be "shocking", coz in your internal system, U knew, U know, U feel "man, that World is Not the place I know, IT can be so cruel and shocking"
So Imagine Adam and Eve Being at Eden, Fell down in Earth, remembering the devine peaceful Places, and now they can find themselves at hell too.
So IT can be traumatizing for many people, coz their internal Guide "knows" that there is "Eden".
That is I felt all time. A Kid with 5 thinking, Feeling "No, IT should feel, Look different in Earth. That is Not the place "I know" Not the Kindness "I know", and than U Land in that Tiny Body and experience the opposite from what U "know", which can me traumatizing and shocking and therefore teaching, talking, giving Kindness, coz U know IT should be all different and filled with meekness, Kindness, Soul, coz this is the origin, the Essence of human cores, but they might have forgotten, or might relearn.
Blessings.
I think you're right about the trauma bit... I often wonder what came first, the trauma or the INFJ? If that makes sense. I had a pretty traumatic childhood that I've spent years processing and making peace with so I'm not 'whining about it, just speaking of my history. We moved more than we stayed (went to 13 different school districts in nearly as many different states) and I think that fed into my INFJ. I had no choice but to read people, read rooms, read situations... To stay ahead of what was happening before it did if you will. Unfortunately my trauma laden childhood led me to marry into chaos and stay in it for three decades. Nearly gave my life to it before I left because my ex was a malignant criminal narcissist (I know, that's thrown around a lot but he literally attempted to kill me before I left and was arrested several times etc etc etc so I say I am legit in saying that). I've been healthier than I've ever been in my life since I left and have remarried to someone who brings peace to my life instead of chaos. All that being said, a lot of trauma in my history and I am an INFJ to my core. So that bit of what you said resonated. Also, the creativity part... I've been driven to many different forms of creativity as almost a compulsion. (I write a blog, I do photography, I do 'paper crafts' etc etc) I'm rambling. Just wanted to shout out and say I appreciate your videos and thank you for your honesty and transparency.
It's crazy. I went from being what's described in this video, to the complete opposite over the last 5 years. I call myself an INXJ because I went from this exact definition, to really not giving 2 fu**s about what people think or say about me. Depending on the circumstances, I swing from F to T, at least in my opinion. From over caring to absolutely not giving a fu**, but that's usually after I'm completely exhausted from trying to get someone to understand me. The truth is, I care(d) so much that I was never actually able to just be me, and like a snapped rubberband, I ended up swinging in the other direction very heavily. Even aggressively. And though I feel MUCH more at peace within myself, being exactly who I am, with the outside world I'm in complete disarray. And I'm once again realizing why I was the way I was, in the first place.
"What's the point? They'll never get it. They are literally incapable of getting it. This is why I just let them talk and keep my thoughts to myself."
⬆️ I constantly catch myself trying to get people to see things they're incapable of seeing. I constantly have to remind myself that I'm only adding undue stress and drama into my own life and I should really just step back, become a Silent Watcher, and let the world figure it all out without me. Nobody listens to me anyway lol. I can't get folks to understand me and my thought processes, let alone how I see reality and what should be done to improve it.
I thought, if I could just explain myself and my positions better, there's no way they can disagree with me, they'll have to see what I'm saying and be able to absorb it, especially if I explain it thoroughly, in detail, in plain english, from 16 different angles/perspectives, using metaphors, analogies, pop culture references, pre-solving all possible problems and responses, Etc. They'll have to get it..... But no..... they literally don't have to get it and they almost certainly won't get it. It just is what it is.
Have you heard of the ;'Sigma INFJ " ? I do encourage you to look into, to study about it !
@@joyreinhardt7621 I have, I'm just not sure if that really defines me or not though. Because when it comes to the traits that would make me Sigma, I'm not sure if they're truly mine, or if they're just a byproduct of unhealthy experiences. The older I get, the more introverted I become. Mostly based on no longer wanting to deal with people. But I don't know if that's really because I'm simply stepping more into my sigma self, or if I'm just tired of interacting with humans. But I will look more into it. Thank you.
Just the other day I was thinking about meeting up with friends from my young adult years recently and how we still had this connection, even though all our lives have taken different paths. I came to the conclusion that it was because we formed those relationships when we were young and vulnerable. I thought of other relationships from my younger years and the connection we still have and what was the difference between those and relationships formed in adult years? Vulnerability. I think that life and it’s experience close us off to vulnerability in adulthood because of fear; because of the consequences of showing vulnerability in adulthood.
Literally just journaled about “what is understanding” this morning. Thanks for sharing, Clay.
Vulnerability can be difficult and you can make friends online from it. As an INFJ I agree. Felt so uncomfortable the first time I was fully open with someone and it was online an INFP I had to keep checking they where ok with me telling them what I was saying they actually seemed to love that I was able to share with them. We get on really well. Some people don’t like it but that’s not your problem if they don’t want to hear it. Some people just can’t handle depth. Haha the birds fish video right there. 😅
Can attest! It's funny the first people I really clicked with online on a deeper level were INFP men which may be as rare as INFJ men.
@@shannon1242 It is strange the way it seems to work. Both seem very similar so we can understand each other however I think the differences make INFJ/INFPs see things in a different way. So it helps because of both of them aspects. I always like making new connections with INFPs now as I get a very similar feeling of closeness.
As an Infp man I love when my Infj friends are vulnerable with me. We want that. As Infps we want everyone to be and be able to feel that they can be their deepest, most vulnerable selfs. Their autentic selfs with us. We can feel sad and actually become a bit paranoid if the Infj don't share. It is frustrating for us. Then it feels like Infj don't trust us, and are we really friends etc. I learned to handle those feelings.
Clay, the nicknames of cognitive functions you use are actually from Personality Hacker (Personality Junkie created different nicknames). It's just a detail and I make this kind of mistakes often... but I suppose you want to tell us the correct sources of information.
I love your videos. The content helped me so much to cope with my perfectionism... to not be afraid to be myself and show myself to the world. I even created my own website and I am doing creative work that I enjoy and find meaningful. It's funny to me sometimes how much I feel understood by you, even though you don't know me at all. Thank you! Sending INFJ greetings from the Czech Republic :)
Ah good point. I’ll see if I can add a note onto the video. Thanks :)
Hi Clay. This video has perfect timing for me. I have problem with being overly secretive. It impacts my life so hard in negative way that I can't share almost anything from my trueself to my close friends and family. It does not need to be something too personal, just common things like where do I go outside or some new things I buy make me problem to share. And some personal things I need to share with my close friends they are like single pieces of puzzle of me or the person they think I am when I'm with them.
It's so hard for me to get through it.
Thanks, Clay for this video. You brought up one interesting topic whether INFJs are made from trauma, I believe it. Before trauma, I felt I was just like anybody else, or maybe I was unsure of myself but that trauma made me into this person which helped me deal with all that chaotic experiences in an unusual way and made me understand myself better.
And when we deal with negative people we often feel misunderstood. We have to let them go and then we will know for sure that whatever feelings we are having are legitimate. We have to understand ourselves better because most of the time when we are with toxic people we get this confusion whether we are even good people. Like you said finding someone who understands us will give us enough proof that we are sane. But unfortunately, there is difficulty in finding such people.
The problem for me with being vulnerable sometimes in order to feel more understood, is that it recently backfired on me big time. That freaks me out a bit. And also, Clay, when you allow yourself to be vulnerable, do you later overthink the hell out of what you did? The time when it backfired simply made me want to door slam the guy. Too much past negative history with him as my friend. I have made a newer friend who is an INTJ and we totally clicked and I was more vulnerable with him than I have ever been in my life. It scares me, but so far, even overthinking, I don't feel it was wrong to share with him. Mostly because he doesn't judge me at all. I really get along with INTJs. He, my friend, and my man are both INTJs. Go figure lol.
Yep! This is why so may of us interested in MBTI, so many of us are content creators/ consumers. We are looking for a certain *type* of connection that seems to elude us, and our guardedness makes it even more difficult to find. I feel an affinity for the things you share because we have many similarities: I too recently divorced an ESTJ, left church, and I think we may have (close to) the same birthday. Your vids are often a perfect reflection of what's going on in my brain!
Thank you so much for sharing your stories. This relates to me and my life so much. I'm 64 and just found out I was INFJ and it makes everything make sense!
Was talking with someone just recently, and was able to talk to /tell him re INFJ, something he had no knowledge, or idea of ! No, it does not 'fix' our lives, but it can make things more understandable !
Thanks Clay. Nice to hear from you. My difficulty with vulnerability is, my sensing and doublechecking,…. “Smell test”… so to speak, the possible “vessel “ I’ll be pouring my vulnerability into. If that makes sense. Example. I can speak here at your channel/comment section, because I have seen the honesty here. This is rare. On the other hand. Past attempts into painful mistakes, are seen and over. Your observations are always considered a class and education. Thanks. You are lucky to have found Lexi.
Beautifully articulated Clay...Thank You. 💜💥
I have developed coping mechanisms from experiences that have affected me traumatically, however I don’t believe my experiences would be considered “objectively” traumatic or traumatizing to many other individuals. I find this idea interesting when considering what you said about INFJ’s feeling trauma as part of their nature of feeling misunderstood and isolated. Thanks for another thoughtful video Clay.
Thanks again Clay for your validating food for thought. I got exited seeing that you posted another video. I needed to hear that vulnerability is important to help me start a business I’ve been too scared to start for the last over a decade.
Yes!! I relate so much.
Whenever I share a video or post that is meaningful to me in some way, I rarely receive positive comments about it, even from my own family. They find it "normal" or unnecessary/ nothing special in it (like "meh"). That just breaks me internally when I overshared a part of myself even to my family members. Do I lack "taste" or understanding about my family's interests and am I the odd one who finds meaning in "meh" stuff?
I say some joke or sarcastic things that land poorly, even within my closest circle. This made me wonder if nobody is going to understand me and accept my authentic self.
I felt really sad because I want to be at least accepted by my family and when I do not get that bare minimum from my community, I want to hide inside my cocoon again and keep things that I find "amazing" to myself.
Thank you for being vulnerable here. I really appreciate you for hammering it on my head that "people are always not going to like things you like, nevertheless, be vulnerable". Even though it might sound obvious, I am really struggling to accept it.
Hugs, my friend, as I do understand ]where you are at here !
When you have significant trauma and are thus cracked open, you are forced to talk, to communicate, to reach out. By speaking and attempting to verbalize your vulnerability, you are better able to be understood. I experienced this last year. I didn't think my sister would understand because she is an ISFP and I as an INFJ, had just been left by my husband after finding out he was having an affair with one of his married colleagues. I don't have fear of oversharing anymore and her groundedness helped me to realize that no this was not my fault ( though I was blamed for why he was having this emotional affair when I caught him). It would be interesting to hear about your marriage and all that you learned from that experience. I am currently in the throes of quite an "eventful life event" with separation and divorce. We have a 3-year-old son and the co-parenting is interesting. I don't know any INFJ's in real life, especially ones who have gone through divorce with children.
Thank you Clay, love your videos. I can relate to a lot of things you talked about in this video. I have kinda gave up on connection and being understood and went my own way, just did what I thought it’s right for me, expressed my true self more and more and I don’t feel misunderstood anymore. I was able to find people like me along the way and formed deep connections.
This was so powerful, Clay. I have been thinking about this a lot lately. I've enjoyed creative writing my entire life but always feel a sense of anxiety around sharing it with people I actually know. This can even make it difficult to write or finish something, thinking about how it could be received by people in my life, and potentially one day, the Twitter masses. I was finally able to write, finish, and share things by writing anonymous fanfiction lol. But I really want to focus on original stuff now. I don't think this happens overnight- from childhood, we have all these experiences of our ideas not being understood or appreciated, so we learn to bury it thirty feet beneath the ground. But your video provided some baby steps to take in the direction of living more authentically. Thank you for helping us lost little INFJ's make our way in this world lol.
Glad it helped :)
I don't think being an INFJ is a consequence of trauma. I consider one of my children to be an INFJ (as am I) and when I think back to how he was as a newborn, he had INFJ traits from the first minute of his life. Of course, we can say that it's a consequence of the trauma of birth. But his siblings also must have been born and behaved completely differently right from birth.
It is interesting .. how would you describe your perception of his 'INFJ traits from the first minute of his life?'. So far all INFJs (and INTJs) I have met are (in my "strong" opinion) carrying a childhood trauma. Maybe it's reversed, the intuitive personality hardly get it's needs met (and understood), resulting in a trauma.
Also sending greetings from Czechia :).
i do not kow re the incidence of trauma, and INFJ, but I did experience it, and from an early age !
@@MartinHinner It was obvious from the first time I held him in my arms that he had a preference for introversion. It's hard to put it into words, but he was so in himself. But when I started talking to him, he responded with his eyes and it was like if all my words fell deep inside him and there connected into something that made sense to him. He recognized me by my voice and although he couldn't even smile yet, he laughed with his eyes.
He's almost five now and doesn't seem traumatized. He knows what he wants and how to ask for it. He has pretty good social skills - he knows what to tell to people to make them happy (which sometimes seems even manipulative from my point of view). He has his strong visions, plans, opinions... He has a great fantasy...
@@akakikola Hmmm... I have 10-year old VeryLikelyIntrovertedSon, but I was clueless about his personality when I held him for the first time. But I must say it was very strong moment for me, my emotions, and they quickly took him from me for tests, so it was only a few minutes. Even now I cannot tell if it's more anxiety (~insecurity) or introversion. More likely the latter, at least I hope.
Thank you for speaking on the deep hunger for high-quality human connections
Thanks so much for sharing. I love watching all your videos. I am an INFP with INFJ partner and I feel like your content helps me understand ways I can "get out of my own head" and be a better partner to him!
I didn’t watch the video I just saw the title and I just want to say/ask don’t we all feel misunderstood?
Thank you for your words and sharing your insights. Thank you for putting it out to the public, and thank you for the specific impact it made and makes on me. I notice myself practicing looking at the world in new ways, as result of your videos and what you share on Instagram. It is meaningful and appreciated!
This is so accurate to me, thank you for articulating my thoughts to a T I needed to hear this from someone else. 💜
Thank you for sharing your journey and experiences with us. It's so sporty on about the cycle of feelings associated with vulnerability.
I wrote an article on Narcissism for Elephant Journal, trying to focus on the fact that when we proclaim another a narcissist we too are narcisstic in our inability step outside of OUR experiences (very me me me, as we're all acting from a place of healing through and acting out OF, our traumas). It was interesting how many people were able to follow, and others assumed I hadn't been caught up in my own interpersonal experiences as trespasser AND trespassed, it was more highly received that I was trying to survivor shame, or accuse; as opposed to saying "Hey, we should step back a bit and heal." Pschology 101, we're misunderstood a lot of times because people's tkle on US, IS ACTUALLY their inner shadows and the place they ARE at, transposing and causing them to percieve everything from their "emotionally tinted glasses." They feel a way because of what you're doing, but connect it with YOU. Not realizing they see it that way because of how THEY are (not to absolve of personal responsibility, as we can always be kinder, calmer, etc).
So much love to you my fellow INFJS, our work is so important ❤
Maybe every consistent human relationship exists because of vulnerability besides personality types. But vulnerability is hard if it keeps being onesided and also if its is at the workplace like I am facing at the moment which leads to me closing off to people entirely like when I was a teenager. It's hard to keep being vulnearble if you can't see progression in a set system of human relationships. But for INFJs in general it is probably the best advice to feel happy in society.
watching this video right after door slaming a really important influential person in my life who seemingly never understood me and made me feel weird and unheard . It took me a lot of thinking and overthinking about it and was kinda insecure about my decision, after seeing this i realize i made the right and really healthy decision ! and i feel good about it in fact . thanks again Clayyyy
Ah, the good old 'door slam' ! After I began to learn about INFJ, I discovered that I had already done that to someone in my life ! LOL ! Looking back,. it does seem like such a healthy thing to do !
Thank you for being vulnerable enough to create and share.
It’s always hard for me to feel vulnerable because most people don’t understand where I’m coming from or they want it that way but I have my own methods of doing things I try to explain to them but they would act like it’s just a phase that’s why for me just being quiet is the best medicine because I know they will come back around and ask me that they felt bad about it
I totally agree, vulnerability is the key! You should watch Brené Brown TED talk called The power of vulnerability.
I really enjoyed your video! Thank you for that.
Also, I would be interested in one about your separation, I myself went through a similar situation (split up with a narcissist that I’ve been with 15 years and we have a child together, our son is 11 now and we are co-parenting).
Brene Brown x Simon Sinek. 😊👍🏻
Thanks for this …
You are great! I’d love to see more videos from you. You are an inspiration 😊as a fellow INFJ
I’ve been married for over 40 years to a man who has no idea who I am or what I want. I am alone and I’ve grown to like it that way. I do my maidly duties, we are not even good roommates. We have nothing in common. When we first got together we were both pot heads and loved having sex. We haven’t had sex for almost 20 years, physically impossible for him. If anything ever happens to him and I’m alone, I will be ok. I know that you don’t believe in Yeshua, but He is my truest love.
Sounds very much like my situation !
Exposure therapy is definitely very important. I remember being younger and being afraid to even talk to people, let alone share anything about myself. As time has gone on, I've learned how important it is to me to express myself to people by sharing my opinion or sharing my art and I've begun to let that be a vehicle for building up my own sense of self as well. Instead of retreating when I get negative attention, I have to stand my ground and defend my beliefs and my work. I think there will always be a part of us that will have that little voice in our head heckle us about one negative comment or about how out of line we might've been, but it becomes less influential the more we branch out and exercise our ego.
Yikes. This hit home. Thanks Clay, I've been thinking about these topics specifically.
I can relate to everything you said. Your talks are so helpful to me (infj) Thank you.
I had to deprioritize many people. I found a lot of mean girl energy directed towards me. I guess I hoped to be accepted with a group that I could be vulnerable with. I noticed that these women were not reciprocating. Example: I would compliment a particular woman who would never compliment me back. So I stopped complimenting her and just acknowledge her with a smile and hello.
I’m working on vulnerability. I want to be authentic but like you said in other videos, we have to filter our output. I don’t want to be a target.
Thank you for this channel.💛
"underyling sadness" - yep, the intj lady i'm dating atm, told me this in the beginning. She's right, I told her that, but the details were to be revealed to her down the line. She gets a little bit more understanding now and she's like " aha!, i know why(imma use mbti language for this even though she doesnt like mbti lol), its because you don't use TE enough...and I'm like "well, that's true and...thats the underlying sadness, I am who I am and I can't change that? I wouldn't be me if I had good use of TE? Obviously there is more to it, but I thought I'd share this cause I found it funny
About being born out of trauma... I think I was around 8/9 years old when for the very first time I realized i was just being used by someone who I thought was my friend (granted we were 7 to 8 years old lol so it was little things like, she would always borrow my stuff and ask me to help her but when I need help she would not reciprocate.) And then after that I started to think about "putting myself in other people's shoes" so that I won't hurt others like how my friend had hurt me. And I think it was born from there...
Hello! Watching you from Poland. Great video. The thing about vulnerability really suprised me and I think it's gonna change the way I approach my life and handle realtionships at some point! Right when I needed it as I am currently trying to open up to some people and reveal my secrets to them.
I relate to this so much, I realized that I can't be mad at people for assuming wrong things about me if I'm not even showing who I am.
So important, thank you. Still struggling, but this helped tremendously. Coming out of my shell is certainly challenging. 🌌
i love that you and lexi are so comfortable with communication, enmeshment and deep connection--it seems incredibly healthy to me.
The world of interpersonal relationships has become so emotionally
detached.
The content on this channel is awesome.
I always learn thru your observations.
Glad the videos help :)
I love your channel!! I’m so glad you’re posting videos again🥰🥰
as soon as you said the solution as an INFJ was wournabilty i understood, i have been very vourlnerbal the latest years and i have earned so much from it, and got to take away some bad fruites.
Yes spot on. Exactly how I feel
The next 777 Portal is on your Nativity July 25!! That's a big beautiful deal!! Happy Nativity Brother!! 🧡
Sometimes, I don't feel I overshared. Rather, I feel I dumbed my thoughts down and come off as partial truth, so I retreat.
For me, part of the process is to be comfortable with just putting them out there even though it might not be understandable for all.
The expectation to be understood is the root of the problem.
I've been having a stressful time at work and something I heard in another INFJ video that the best way to get out of the Ni Ti loop is to lean into your Fe, which here is vulnerability and it's working decently. I would get that OMG I just emotionally dumped on someone I don't know that well feeling before but this time I'm not. I don't know what changed other then before I started this job I went through that which kind of work mask shall I have and I wanted goofy, jokey, and authentic even if I'm in a more leadership role. So, I leaned into that when blowing off steam with a few coworkers (instead of dumping hard on one). I haven't felt those regrets. Also, the fact that our nature of asking follow-up questions when people are vulnerable with you meant it was returning the favor of being "real". I'm also not as obsessive about understanding the illogical people that are causing the work stress as I have been in the past during the Ni Ti loop so I think there is something to it.
I can also vouch for practicing your shadow introverted feelings anonymously online. I got a lot of practice when younger of being utterly honest and authentic about everything and I did make those lifelong friends I could have my deep conversations with as well as grow that thicker skin because I enjoyed being quite the troll and rilng people up. Dealing with people outside of just the net I lost a lot of that keep it realness that I'm trying to get back.
Thank you for the video. I wish I would have had the knowledge of personality types, specifically INFJ's, available to me when I was younger. I took the test, more than once (the logical thinker I am). I was astounded at the breakdown of characteristics. It explained so many aspects of who I am on a deep level it was exciting and shocking at the same time. I've felt a lot of my life that I was different, didn't fit in with any social groups. I would try to fit in and could if I made a strong effort. But then I would feel like the rules of the group were needless and/or stupid and I didn't want to follow it. I could not find a social group or organized religion I could stay with for very long for the same reasons. If I found any kind of hypocritical, judgmental or illogical aspects to it, I was out of there. So even though I longed to fit in, to help others and make a difference, I never stayed with any group for very long because my built in BS meter would inevitably go off, and that was it. I had no tolerance for it. I had to believe in it 100 percent or not at all. I know that's black and white thinking but I think of it more as what I value the most. Honesty and authenticity. I can smell the opposite a mile away and frankly it repulses me. I can't be bothered with someone who vomits word salad that has fluff but no substance to it. I am a mature woman now and I understand how I am. I am a bit of a contradiction as most INFJ's are. I am a easy going perfectionist and a logically thinking empath. I love to learn and if I get into a subject that peaks my interest, I'm glued onto it like a laser. I absolutely detest small talk but can talk for hours about a subject I'm passionate about. I have never fit in with most groups of women. I've never cared for girly girl stuff. I appreciate craftsmanship, but to pay 3,000 dollars for a plain purse because of the label? Because of who made it? I find that absolutely ridiculous and a waste of money. Anyway, I think being an INFJ is both difficult and wonderful. Frustrating and fulfilling. Kind of crazy but in a good way.
Thank you for existing.
Wonderful dear Soul Clay to hear of U again. 😊 Appreciate Ur FE much. Thanks 😊🙏🏻🌟💕 WHO Else feels Bit sad, that many seem to BE shallow, Not Dive deep Into Spirit and Soul, Fe, Thoughts, Intuition in real face to face World? WHO Else finds Soultribe more online than offline? Blessings 🌎🙏🏻💫
WHO is Thinking of orange, Yellow, Blue Chakra. Solarplexus, Sacral and Throatchakra Activation. 🌠
Dear Clay, I deeply want to thank U 4 speaking my Core. I have Hidden my Feelings, my Truths, did Not communicate those and therefore No one could have really connected with my Core, so I felt unseen and isolated. Is this an infj/infp/enfp/introvert Thing? Awareness helps in any Case. Thx. Happy Healing. 🙏🏻💕
You’re young. Your skills at seeing into people are still developing. Once they develop more, you’ll see the truth. And, you’re probably an INFP….
It takes time to understand something better. I think the main problem is not having enough time to understand and accept a new personality in your life. I don't think it's possible to understand each other even after 5 hours of nonstop conversation online.:) And just to be blocked after it without any reason.
I love what you are doing, thank you!
Great summary. I relate to that compleatly
Do you think it is possible to apologize to an INFJ who doorslamed you either several months or years later? I'm an INFP who dated one and the communication after we broke up was confusing. Anyway, I wanted the INFJ perspective because I just want to make things right and move forward.
If I feel somebody has wrong me enough for a door slam, the only way for the door to be reopened is for them to convince me that they fully understand the problem and have a way to fix it for the future. The issue is most INFJs will not doorslam unless the situation is completely hopeless and unlikely to ever resolve.
@@ClayArnall Thank you
INFJ, my trauma was being told I had an incurable terminal medical condition at the age of 4 plus how it harmed me over the years and even temp flat-lined from it. I have another, but might share a bit too much harm shared that is personal.
I suspect you are exactly correct. How can anyone get better at anything unless they practice it? So, setting up outer conditions that allow you to reveal more of your inner nature in a way that feels safer to you is a good way to dip your toes into the water of vulnerability and the real emotions you might be carrying around. Or the thoughts you have about your own and others emotions. Brenee Brown has tons of research and books that write about vulnerability, connection and resilience. If you’re interested in the research side of it. But the reason INFJ’s make fast friends typically, is because they have a natural capacity to get others to open up to them because they appear to be accepting and non-judgmental. If you’re in an environment where you are inside an atheist and everyone else is a Christian, you are actually just the opposite pole of the same thing. To get outside of that environment, you cannot define your identity by God. A Christian defines who they are by specific beliefs regarding Jesus Christ. An atheist says no creator exists. Both define themselves by comparison to a creator / redeemer. I was once a Christian. At 29, I turned away from the church and became a serious doubter. I now define God as being WITHIN ME, not OUTSIDE of me. I’m not Christian, Buddhist, or any particular religion you could specifically define. I’m just a human being trying to allow His light to shine through me whenever possible. No other definition is necessary for me. But I understand if that seems to vague for other people and allow them to be who they are in my presence as long as they are respectful. As far as your question about INFJ’s being born into trauma or being designed to almost constellation it around them, I suspect it’s both. Just like the age old nature or nurture question of babies, are the parents responsible for how the child turns out or was the child born a particular way? Human beings are complex and the timing for when we “wake up” and decide to co-create with God is different for everyone. I woke up when I became a doubter and stopped allowing others to interpret spiritual teachings for me. Your videos here, are showing your process of waking up.
How much are they misunderstood. Lol.
As an INFJ absolutely ALWAYS misunderstood but once I found God fully I no longer even care I know I walk wit him an as long as we know we we're not harmful quite opposite so I'm proud today I love who I am. An I definitely had 2 Narcissistic abusive parents alot of gaslighting an soul crushing shit. But don't talk to them anymore an educating on these ABUSES is important to me no child should have to deal wit these abuses
i want to say that youre soulution to the problem is they way to go. be enonymis on the interenet at first just to see that people actually respond positiv
waiting for new videos
I have some questions that I hope Clay or anyone reading this might like to answer. I have done the Myers Briggs test a number of times not all with the same question sets and structure. I've managed to get 3 different results and I don't know what to make of it. One question set resulted in INFP, another ENFJ, and another as INFJ. So needless to say it is confusing leaving me doubting the test altogether. Is it the test and the way each different test structures it's questions, is it me and my state of mind when taking the test, or is the test itself flawed? So I dived into yours and other RUclips programs to see if I could pin which one of the three may more likely to be the correct profile. I found that yours, Clays, breakdown was the the one I could identify with most, of all I've looked at. So I'm wondering whether that would therefore be enough to conclude that I am in fact an INFJ?
Any thoughts anyone?
For anyone who is looking for help developing Vulnerability look up Brené Brown. She has an insightful Ted Talk and a few fantastic books on the subject.
Her work helped me out a lot!
INFJs are very misunderstood, which is logical since we have reduced numbers.
Our type's empathy and hypersensitivity are useless to explain to others.
In my view, we live at a higher frequency than ordinary people, and we should dedicate ourselves to our development and, as possible, have a lifestyle where we can be alone and in peace to recharge.
We function in the opposite way than the average person, which is mostly ego-based.
Helpful video!
Hi Clay,
Im not sure (no) any INFJ falling cliffs to become in INFJ. There might be groups.
- got the pain from same blood(1). It is a bit uneasy to share the pain.
- got pain from outside of blood(2).
It is easy to share the pain.
To me
-emotional abuse is a bit difficulty to detect or have a name of pain in space and time (3)
-fiscal abuse is easier to determine name of pain in space and time (4).
Since I was growing up to this point (51 years old), I live and work with 3 INFP personalities and I go through life with many Elizabeth Keen in Black List.
With I INFP, If I see black cat passing by, INFP often say: “I say white cat”. I don’t say anything thing that point, tell INFP eight hours after to avoid conflicts. Why ? Human often believe what they know by their own construction’s mind (childhood mind).
With Elizabeth Keen, I don’t talk anything, I just move my plan after thinking carefully as chess player to execute each steps of puzzle to the end. Elizabeth Keen often don’t see (feel) your kindness, but opposition side of you. With INTJs, I have to move so they see my road make senses to them because they have dot memories as INFJ too.
INFJ friends, you know thing a head of others, so you the one has to actively move ahead. Fiscal exercises as running, martial art, gym, snowboard, bike along road …and others make your mind strong and stronger. In those activities, people might tell you weak, but It is ok. Your mind will use them in different set of game in life to execute puzzle or become more assertive. If you don’t go ahead, your guts will punch you from inside out.
I started to cook since I was seventh or eighth year old, so I don’t depend on anyone. All good conversations have to be as people use walkie-talkie, otherwise don’t do or come back another time. My English might not as good as you was born with. I hope my writing help. Thank you for reading!
Your English is good enough, for me to identify with where you said " With I INFJ, if I see..." !
Thank you Joy. If I have a opportunity to work or live with other personalities, I might be able to feel (see, know..) that there are two minds in the same person. If I tell them that makes people scared (or are you sure ? Feel wired). And if parents honestly told me their childhoods, I might understand (know) many things up to grandparents or great grandparents. Forgiveness and knowledge give us a purpose to live this life. No oneself feel, see or know as we do. Yes it is the most loneliest in life . Thank you again !
Thank you Clay, I want to say thank you for your video as I’m newly here, I’m INFJ and I thought nobody can be around me and I’m the only person who thinks this way. I just come out of a turbulent relationship with a true narcissist and I’m recovering from cPTSD, depression and anxiety. Is anyone knows how long is INFJ takes to heal from complex trauma?
Brilliant! ❤
how to know when you are (being)authentic and when you are a narcissistic or being narcissistic?
Hypnosis is what it took for me to deprioritize a few people. Do whatever it takes.
Thank you so much!
I've often wondered if infg knows they are dealing with another infg an try to Double down an almost manipulate the other one to throw the other infg off often wondered this
Epic content
I'd rather stay Alone if I can't have all the boxes that are important to me not going into any thing an only getting half of whst I want oh jts goid but no not happening an first sign if it I'm gone I don't care if I have to walk rain sleet snow I'd rather be alone then
I am an INFJ Male and I'm engaged with an ISTJ Female. Any advice?
amen brother
losing my religion rem
I guess you are stuck with INFJ in producing this kind of material of videos.
I am INFJ myself. mis understood because of the mind thoughts doing the work. Loud internally on hobby is great, Loud internally on emotional is bad, more like depression. Multiple topics that link together while talking.
Since it is rare for a male INFJ, it is even rare for me as a Malaysian Chinese male like me have all the language resources to dive even deeper in this topic.
I guess you are stuck with ENGLISH resources. If a country only have vegetables that don't have meat it is like lack of nutritional in mind and thought for thoughts.
Work along with your own twin internally. Don't dive too deep with friends, just only share when u know the type of character of the other person.
The negative comments bother you because you put a lot of energy and feelings inside. Please make friends with INFJ like me. Tq.
I also got stuck if I give my negative comment or probably suggestion on other youtube videos either in Malay, Chinese or English from the world experience. It also put make me stuck with the energy to fight back internally loudly. So it drains so much of my energy.
Anyhow I hope u guys don't stuck. Make more friends on INFJ and share hobby. Make friends with me, like old days, it is like pen friends.
Best thing to do is find like minded people to be with first step i did was self reflection ok is it me lets try another approach after realization get rid of them not rudely eitger unless have to just less time spent with until moved on
Clay: Ur Photography is Fine artistic. 🤗Thanks much for telling Here, that U are at Instagram, I did Not know that 🙏🏻😊 Maybe U could Put a Button Here at headline of RUclips too, Like a Link to follow your Instagram Artist and Thought Account. 💕