Gratitude Practices Don't Work (but this does!)
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- Опубликовано: 12 июн 2018
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Being grateful - it's not a bad thing, in fact it's an incredible thing! And when done properly can even be life changing.
But the way we're typically told to practice gratitude has been shown in the research to not actually be effective for most people.
In this episode of Good For Me TV, I’m going to tell why this is and what you can be doing instead that does work a whole lot better (without any extra effort).
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Sometimes I pretend to be happy and confident even when I don’t feel like it. I tell myself I’ll pretend I’m super happy and confident for just 5min. I find it lifts me up and continues to impact my day way after the five minutes are up
No matter what,Every day I am greatfull to be sober.
Congrats
I am grateful that you are sober too.
Keep coming back " its work"
AMEN!
I am grateful that I made some progress towards my big goal today cause I was procrastinating out of fear and overthinking. But today I crushed it.
Gratitude is golden. Saved my life.
When I journal about what I’m grateful for, I don’t just say what I’m grateful for, I also write WHY - so there’s a reflection process that I think is important, and I also write about how I can make gratitude and random acts of kindness actionable. If I’m grateful for something someone did I’ll drop them a note about it.
This is a great idea!! I love this! You’re right, our brain gets bored when it’s doing the same thing every single day!
i listen to sounds of rain b4 bed and throughout the day i thank god for the blessings i have received
I love that.
I love the smell of rain
That smell just before it starts raining
Amen! Anytime is a good time to love God and love yourself.
Interesting.
☝Something you are (present) grateful for.
👈Something that went (past) well.
👉Something you are looking forward (future) to...
Thanks for this. Waited through her intro, and finally at 4:35 it comes up.
Day 1: I'm feeling conflicted. I'm grateful for this video. :oP
Day 2: I'm proud of this comment.
Day 3: I'm looking forward to other people reading this comment and laughing at it.
Mission accomplished!
Lol you dork
I like to start my day thanking God for another day of health. I’m thankful that I have a caring thoughtful huz. Thank you Julia I always am excited when one of your videos pops up!
I dressed creatively and received compliments. I am grateful for all the helpful videos I find on RUclips and music channels.
Thank you, Julia. You don’t have an idea of how much you have helped me with your videos
I am so so grateful to hear that. Kudos to YOU for showing up and doing the work.
Thank you so much!! I don’t know why it’s so hard to be grateful, I find myself grateful for the new manifestations but not the thing I already had!! Thank you ❤️
I do tend to get bored writing gratitude lists of "what I am grateful for" but I like the idea of focusing on things that I'm proud of myself for doing and things I am looking forward to! I'm excited to try these and liven up my gratitude practice!
lists you can do instead of gratitude:
-things that went well/feel good
-things you are looking forward to
At some point throughout the day, I meditate, and then I write in my journal about my day and reflect on paper from a good headspace. This practice has changed my life so much!
Amen
You choose black and white screen.
And it makes positive effect .
Love you
I’m grateful I found your video, and looking forward to seeing more. I am grateful for a lot more but it is nice someone has a different way of exercising gratitude, being in tune with yourself or knowing more of yourself. My kinda conversations to have.
I’ve been writing ✍️ my gratitude list for the first time in my life. It’s been a few days. I like doing it. I think it is helping me be more grounded. I will also implement the things you mentioned in this video as well. Great video and good timing for my life.
Yes! Be sure to switch it up regularly to keep the gratitude fresh - and let us know how it goes!
I did a daily gratitide practice a few years ago, and as my circumstances--the ones beyond my control--narrowed and narrowed, I found mysefl trying to feel gratitude for absurdly insignificant things because that's all that was left. I realized the practice had become incredibly destructive to my ability to motivate myself and stay positive because it showed me all the things that were going wrong in my life by opposites. This is a distinct and novel approach that I will try. Thanks for posting!
I agree, and I've been noticing this when I do list things I'm grateful for. I end up questioning whether I really feel grateful or not. Thanks for this. It really helped and it's the first time I've heard anyone actually admit to this and talk about it openly. I thougth I was the only one.
I stretch first thing in the morning a slow stretch and breathing practice really opens my mind to be in the present and at the same time I say to myself what I'm grateful for.
grateful for this video that will share with the youth I work with.
One thing I like to do with my clients with the 'what went well' part is to add a piece where you reflect on what went well and what qualities you embody or strengths you have that enabled it to happen!!! Seems to be another great way to reflect and feel grateful for who you are. Thanks for this VIDEO!
I'm grateful for where I am at right now. Space to grow and to add a little extra looking forward to my business training in 20 minutes! thank you :)
I write poetry including on the subject of gratitude and I pass them onto others who generally seem to like and appreciate it.
I am grateful for a wonderful weekend with my friends and husband. I did a good job tidying up the apartment and getting prepared for work . I am looking forward to next weekend to see my sister-in-law graduate from high school. :) Thanks Julia!
I am grateful 🙏 for you and your videos ❤️ Julia. You are amazing. Thank You for everything you do.
I like to end the day with 1-3 things that I rocked it.. I play the day back in fast forward video mode.. noticing what I did, decisions etc.. and then stop the tape & celebrate anything that stood out. just a quick routine. I also will notice 1 thing (without judgement) to oh, I could improve that by.. so 3 wins, 1 next time improvement. I do not practice a set "gratitude list" time, as I prefer to just practice that in the moment as it happens.. savoring, saying thanks, acr, etc.
YASSS! All the hearts to this. Taking time throughout the day, everyday, to stop, look around and be deeply grateful is what it's all about: Not a gratitude practice, a gratitude lifestyle.
Thanks Julia you said it much better than I did. that's it exactly. :-)
I'm in a residential unit and there is a guy here that wants to talk to everyone but no one wants to talk to him. I decided to give him thirty minutes of my time every day. He really appreciates it and wants me to stay as long as possible. I believe if you pay attention there are many ways that you can connect with people and bring some happiness into their life. For me after my time with Gordon I take the time to feel good about it, not in an ego way but just happiness that you made a difference. I believe if you live you life creating things to be grateful that's where the real change occurs. Then it becomes nice to document it at the end of the day and you can look at it from time to time for inspiration. Norm
Thanks Julia! And yes I do can picture “our minds on it’s toes” hehehe thanks again!
When you said “I have a lot of good information in this video” I was thinking, I sure hope so! Cause you just wrecked my hopes and dreams with the first sentence. Anyway, my despair was short lived when I realized the exercise I use for gratitude goes along with what you said. My exercise is to find 1-2 things at the end of the day I am grateful for and give 5 reasons why I am grateful.
A few months ago, I started reading a few pages of an educational book in the morning while listening to relaxing music first thing in the morning. I just finished a book about philosophy, and just started one on history. These are books by DK with short sections, so I read a few each day. Also, lately I have been watching a "self help" RUclips video each morning. These practices help give a positive start to my day!
I'm looking forward to having a small warm sake, Vietnamese coffee, small pork broth and 2 salmon hand rolls with my BFF in July 2020. Our lives are pretty busy with our loved ones and work and I miss her. Thank you for enlightening video🌹
I'm grateful im taking my mental health more seriously
I meditate for 15 minutes in the morning and it really boost my mood and focus. The hard thing is to stick with it and make it a habit :)
Great video! I love your energy! 🙌🏽💛
We are complex. We need variety. Chore and drudgery is what drives us to want something different, so why subscribe to a repetitive process if you're seeking change or improvement? Your idea of mixing things up is right on. I would even switch up the order of exercises when repeated - kind of let the day decide what I need.
One thing I do every day is smile at myself any time I happen to look in the mirror. It seems to help to always have the last image of myself in my mind be one of me looking happy.
Also, I'm grateful for the Internet, as it allows me to connect to people like you. :-)
Thank you so much. This is wonderful.
So glad it connected Julia!
Excellent 👌🎯 Thank you. Lots of Blessings from Maracaibo, Venezuela
Something about your voice is very soothing, and optimistic. I like these short clips
.
I am grateful for my current Phone. My phone allows me to watch more videos like this along with other videos that will help better my lifestyle. My phone allows be to always be connected with friends and family. My phone allows be to be use the internet for great things and spread live and joy. My phone allows me to dive more in depth into my interests and hobbies. I am grateful for my current phone
This is such good advice!!
The type of gratitude that works for me stems from learning and understanding how a particular idea affects me. For example, i learned recently why high pressure is associated with warm weather, and low pressure is associated with precipitation. It’s because there are rivers of air flowing above us!!! When those rivers (or jet streams) converge, it pushes air down to the surface, causing it to become high pressure. When the rivers diverge, they draw up air from the surface, which carries water with it. (I did this when I was sitting outside on my porch while it was raining). I just feel amazed by learning about everything that has such a big impact (or small impact) on my life.
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This is timely. Thank you.
I fall asleep to your voice...lol.. Your not boring...I love your info... Your anger video really really helped me...I play that video then put a playlist of your vids ...I take a nap... Hope that ok... Keep up your good work for people.
I'm so glad you like them - thanks for saying so!
I am grateful to Christ for climbing up on that cross for me. EVERY day!
He was forced to climb up that cross. I don't think he really had a choice. No offense but that's what was told to me.
Hi julia, yes everything you just laid out is what i am going thru and i feel numb doing gratitude. I feel like meditation and affOrmations work really good. afformations is similar to affirmations but instead of saying i am great you say "why am i so great"
Thank you, let me try.
I'm looking forward to the day I finish writing my book.
...thank you for this video :)
Grateful for: my husband
Something that went well: networking
Looking forward to: dog sitting for a friend next week
This frightened me for a second =) Great and amazing tips, thank you! I do gratitude every morning and just finished a 31 day challenge, these extra tips will be incorporated into my morning routine! thank you so much!
Gratitude takes practice.
Good variations.
They DO work. You have to FEEL the gratitude though. That’s the thing people don’t understand
Yes you have to feel it in your heart
You are very helpful, thank you so much???????
I think this is a great idea. But I wonder if doing these 3 things instead of just gratitude, will in itself become rote and stop working?
Definitely going to try this!! :D
Let us know how it goes!
In short, I feel well guild full in my crafts now, nourished even through distraction, and heck of a lot resulting focused reared geared to go even with odds not in my favor at all! What can I do for you which I can perform if required in return?
I write a list of all the good things that have happened during the day.
I really do like your videos a lot. Should you come to lecture in Italy 🇮🇹,please tell us
Thank you so much
you are so welcome! T
This is cool!
I do affirmations in the morning as well as evening.
but recently i started to do emotion release with Dr Bradley Nelson method and i feel grateful all day.
Well in general I found that I am naturally 'grateful' and 'positive', but they can backfire.
But it's not because it's boring to me. It's because my mind flips to the opposite.
You know? Like you're telling yourself a lie?
It becomes clever at turning against you. Then it becomes negative and unrelentingly so...
You're a lifesaver 😃
So glad it connected Tessa!
it seems that becoming more grateful requires imagination
I'm grateful for my work I love itx
Hi,
May I get a consultation.
1 thing I'm grateful for is to have the house to myself.
3 things that went well today are: 1) I was able to walk ok without too much pain in my lower back. 2) I was able to sign up again for volunteer work while I look for paid work and get my business up and running 3) I had pleasant interactions with the woman who is living in our shed temporarily.
Something I am looking forward to is: SPRING and the sun coming out and the cold to leave for another year.
4:49 preamble ends; suggestion begins
I've been grateful for over 27 years gets boring I think you're missing something before I was 23 years old I had 29 arrest I had 11 years in and out of jail juvenile and adult. When I ask the Creator to help me it's like the third eye opened up he opened doors I couldn't open he took desires that I was very weak in other ones I had to struggle through it but through it all I've been grateful and it seems like the more grateful I am the more life I have been married now 27 years raised three boys on 13 houses have bought over 35 cars my real estate investor now I live in Hawaii I feed on gratitude expressing thanks gratitude definitely one of the keys to the good life
I agree 💯
Wow
Sorry to be getting bored with things to be grateful for
My problem is i have a social anxiety. I feel so scare and my heart beat faslty and i cant breath as i used to do. Everytime i find my self in a situation where iam center of attention and everyone around me is looking at me words cant came out from my mouth easly. This is killing me i really i dont know how to deal with this any advice plz.
@Bhavya Gautam how did you overcome it?. Did you find a solution or you still have the same problem
I better stop listening to these people talking about what I already know and works for me because the more I listen to different people for maybe new information, the more confused I become so I will sign off right now and just stick to what already works for me. nice video overall by the way, keep up the good work.
I believe in being grateful but honestly the intentional practice makes me feel like a fraud. Spontaneous gratitude, being present is a different experience.
No matter what iam thankful to be sober also
How can I hire you?
I think different ways works for different people some people it just takes to script it out some people can speak things into existence for themselves I think things is different for people that had a silver spoon in their mouth as a kid or someone that lived in poverty as a kid I think whatever resonates with you like for instance a person that grew up in poverty probably should use gratitude more
So... gratitude splits?
I’m still alive
Any evidence of the research?
My morning went we’ll. Today.
Anything done out of obligation or to gain something for ourselves will get boring, its not coming from a true attitude of gratitude. Anything done out of rote will lose its effectiveness. An attitude of gratefulness is not a practice, its an entire mindset, a part of ones soul that comes naturally. Only God can work this in us through Christ. We don't have to work it up, its a part of our very being. When we are working real hard to be something then it is not real, its futile attempts to become that thing. In order for something to be real it must be deep in the soul. When we are grateful without having to think about it all the time, is when we know it is a part of our very nature.
Meeting up with a woman tonight!
4:32
I don't see any differences from the other explanations 😂. The point is the same 😅.
I usually write about what I have accomplished during the day (even small things like laundry and dishes) and then good things that I appreciate on that day. I feel like gratitude is just too general... "I am grateful to have fresh water in the tap" is all well, but sometimes I need to bring it into the present moment and say: "Today there was a big storm outside and it made me happy" or "today I discovered new and amazing music". I struggle with depression, so for me it is all about telling myself that I haven't wasted my day even though I feel like I didn't do anything, and about appreciating the small things.
The description of gratitude practice is flawed.
My arms are looking forward to seeing my best friend and fiancee and my time is looking forward to my friends and family
What a woman 😍😍😍😍
Some feedback...I found the first half of the video a bit negative. Too long focusing on why gratitude practice doesn't work. Say it once brief explanation and move to the right way to practice.
Thank you for the information🙏
I’m grateful for my boyfriend and the fact that I’m successfully tapering from adderall
Im listening. And bodies are designed way differently than consciousness. Not even close comparison with that working out analogy. The more you shine the light of Awareness on ANYTHING the more it grows and there is no “plateau” to consciousness.
Writing down three things at the end of the day that you are grateful is not like any gratitude practice I’ve ever heard of, its always been as many things as you can think of and feel. So anything would beat that lame practice and generic example. You might want to try gratitude school…
Need to study Dr Joe Dispenza, research does show gratitude absolutely works
Damn right it's boring 🤮
You ramble and repeat yourself unnecessary, it made me turn the video off.