It is really beautiful to see two confident men talking like this to each other. If we just don't consider the polyamory part, it is still rare for two men to talk so openly and so genuinely. Just wow. Loved this! Thank you so much!
This is totally your wheelhouse. Quick, concise, funny and genuine with enough of a nugget if people want to explore further. I love the long form deep dives that are so much a part of Polyamory content, but I think you’ve found a good niche to support those things without being another one of them. Thank you.
This conversation is so comfortable and chill. And in a very good way it's very "boring" no drama no unnecessary stuff just two male metas sitting down and talking in a very chill way. 😊
I was honestly a little worried the video would come off boring because we are just very comfortable with each other and don't have a lot of issues to talk about. I'm glad people are enjoying it.
@@polyamfamYou are polyamory goals, mate. I really hope to be on the same level in my own relationship with my wife's GF. So far, so good for us as we share common interests and seem like each other very much as friends, so hopefully it will develop into a deep and lasting connection.
Would you ever consider making a "So you're loved one is polyamorous" type video? I would love to be open about my polyamory to some family members, but I dunno if they would actually read any material on it, even if I gave it to them. You have such a friendly and disarming way of talking about things, I think you could do it well. Just curious. Lovely video! Thanks for normalizing polyamory!
That is an excellent idea! I'm putting it on my list now. Buuut that list is very long. I might have to bump this up as a priority. That would be super useful.
Please do so! This will be a very important topic for me, my wife and her girlfriend pretty soon, most especially because her and I live in the same building as my parents, and sooner or later there will be either questions regarding the frequent visits or an invitation to a family event from our side. Either way, we want her to be accepted as a normal and healthy part of the family, so a video might help us with that.
Jesus Christ died for your sins on the cross. Repent and believe in him or you will be separated from God The Father for all eternity and face hell forever, for all eternity, never ending.
@@treek10k Believe it or not, I got a very good relationship with Jesus that is based on the love he preaches and doesn't involve the pitiful threats of eternal damnation you're so angsty about. So why don't you go and see a therapist for your Tartarian anxiety and start living love and compassion as he meant it instead of going aroubd essentially threatening people?
I related a lot to the point kyle made at 30:10 about his bi partner's dates. It happens to me too. It feels like, whenever there would be a woman out on a date with my bi partner, the whole jealousy.exe process doesnt even run in my brain. But when its a man, a lot of envy and comparison starts popping up. I think the unconcious part of my brain is like "well you are not a woman so you obviously cannot compare her (the date) with yourself". But if the date is with a man, my subconsious starts asking questsions like "Hmmm why him? What does he do better than me? 😠 Is he fitter? COOLER?!??!?!" . Thankfully these thoughts have been toned down a lot with time, and by the fact that i keep reminding myself that its not a race: There is no need to compete with anyone else. No one will replace you, your partner is with YOU because she wants to be with YOU, not because it checks a "boyfriend" box. No one will "replace" her "boyfriend box". Great video
My insecurities even make me think that if I am not a "perfect" partner aka cool all the time with everything aka not ever complaining about anything, I will be dumped. At first those feelings are excruciating. My partners are very patient with me though, and over time the feelings shrink to a fleeting irk. Gotta remember they know all those flaws I have and they choose to be with me. The best way to show gratitude to them is to trust them.
im sorry but as a intersexual LGBTQAI+ 🏳🌈female-1 and married as a male-forced-role ( nowadays in my 30's id rather of had the chance/choice to pick@10yo, at 18yo i tried hard to pass as a sis-male straight, but even as that i couldn't stand more than one D..k/head of household/leadership 🏡 and at first i really struggled with my wife/SO kissing 😘 her wife/girlfriend and that's as a im a Polly/polygamy minded individuals and or at first me trying to deny myself gratification/grace from monogamy my family/others/religion 1/2-brainwashed/memories me with ) and can't do sex-less ( and non-caring equally aka the thought 💭of 1st wife/SO stadeics bothers me and or creeps me out as my wife's aren't collectible antique car's/investment's, but there's 1 similarly just because i like more than one 1960-80's-dodge/🇬🇧-car/truck doesn't mean i should buying/take it home as i can't be fair/good to all aka wifeys im done adding after about 2-3 ladies 4-total-marriage+6-kids ) marriage's and bi/gay-females works out better for me and my partners as i can be their best for them and myself im 👍for all LGBTQ 🏳🌈rights including LDS/Jewish/religion marriage ( and pro-life movement as i barely missed being pilled 💀 aborted as a 🏳🌈baby, and others shouldn't be killed just for being differently 😉 ) rights, im not for nonconsensual adult marriage/relationship's aka no! pedos ect... just to be clear that im not kinky shaming it's just not for me and did have the experience come up in my personal history aka partners asking me if i liked other men ( to them dating-without-me-going-with/F-date/3-some and or was i okay with male gay sexual activity's=pass no thank you aka plutonic corporation-work$ friend zoned at best 😉 ) to joining ect.
This is what a lack of self-respect looks like. From all parties. You dont have a wife, you have a financial beneficiary with benefits. "Our mutual partner" is a fucked up thing to call your wife.
I love when my husband goes on dates/hangouts with people he's seeing, I get to have the house to myself! I'm autistic and an introvert, so having solitude is very recharging. ( I do love that I get to spend so much time with him though, don't misunderstand.)
Jesus Christ died for your sins on the cross. Repent and believe in him or you will be separated from God The Father for all eternity and face hell forever, for all eternity, never ending.
@@n-o-i-d I don't see how that's relevant. Do you want to know so you can find a switch you think you can flip so more folks are interested in polyamory or more people are into monogamy? You might want to ask yourself why you care so much what others are doing with their lives that have nothing to do with you.
@@n-o-i-d okay, but where is that curiosity coming from and why do you think it's linked to soy? Honestly, it's a bit trolly to come into the RUclips comments section and think asking a dietary question of random people is good science. Much less think that the consumption of soy products could be linked to complex human behaviors such as monogamy and polyamory. Polyamory isn't really a new thing. The internet has just made it easier for people to find each other and talk about it.
Hearing you talk about the amount of contributors to Paige’s care package made my heart soar. 🥰 This is one of the special benefits of polyamory that I try to explain to people but can’t seem to put into words. Just a deep love and care for your metamors ❤
I teared up at that story!! Like, how touching and thoughtful it is to have a small community of people jumping in to help when one of their own is hurting! 💙
Man oh man everything about this is on POINT! From the “time” comment to the “alone time” and everything above. Thank you for sharing this perspective because it’s much needed.
I think, instead of dismissing primary-nesting-anchor partners as hierarchical, people should view those relationships in terms of commitments, expectations, and agreements. If you live with someone, own a house with them, file taxes with them, and share a budget and finances with them you are definitionally more entangled with them and have made a greater breadth of commitments with them, than someone you don't share those things with. This is doubly true if you have children! It also comes with certain amounts of expectation in terms of being available, around. You're just there more. That's the person or persons you "come home to," sleep with most nights, etc. That doesn't mean your satellite partner doesn't have expectations, or deserve a serious commitment, or your attention and time, either, but it is different in some very important ways.
Thank you, this is such a lovely and refreshing video ❤️ I'd love to see toxic masculinity in the context of polyamory being unpacked in more detail at some point, it's such an interestic topic.
No such thing as toxic masculinity. It's men standing up for their woman and being a MAN as we have for 1+ million years! You people won't outlast REAL men!
Thank you so much for this and all your other content!! I'm in a relationship with a poly person for the first time and navigating some complex feelings right now, and your content is very helpful because it provides other perspectives, gets me out of my head, and makes me feel like I'm not alone!
I'm glad y'all talk about vaguely competing in rock climbing. When you read that question, that's the first thing I was thinking. Y'all don't seem like super competitive types, but I also didn't think you'd not accidentally compete in something like who can do the rock climbing better.
Thanks so much for this kind of content. I know you're a tiktok legend but I really don't use it, and you're one of my favorite people who talk about polyamory on the internet ♥
I feel like the insecurities we might have in a relationship are directly related with the ones we already have on our own. For instance, I might be insecure that my partner's new partner might be fitter, more fun to be around, prettier, etc BECAUSE I'm not confident about those things in myself so, in that sense, I should not only work on jealousy but also WHY I think that those things are the ones that came up with the feeling and unpack the why someone being different from me would put me ""at risk""
Knowing that your partner isn’t fully satisfied with you, so they seek out a second or third relationship, must cut deep. It’s really a fault of the person seeking multiple partners, their greed is self indulgent. The only fault of the other partner is not having a boundary in place to know they are worth someone’s WHOLE attention and love.
O.M.G this is so heckin, wholesome! It reminds me of my husband and boyfriend who are even closer than the ones inside this video😂They give each other cheek kisses, hugs, and even sometimes go alone in their room for “boys nights!” So cute❤❤❤
Do y’all have any tips on how to be more comfortable in your own company? I’m experimenting with polyamory, and I feel like regardless of if I’m monogamous, ambiamorous or polyam, I very much relate to feeling like I’m defined by my partner or my relationships
This content was very helpful and very encouraging. Hearing about how others have felt and gone through the same things I'm going through and came out the other side happy and well instills confidence in me to do the same. That being said, the simplicity with which you describe getting through it makes me feel like I'm doing something wrong and makes me feel frustrated. I know I don't own my partner and that a big source of my jealousy comes from a place of toxic masculinity, but continuing to feel the hurt that it causes me makes me wonder where/when things will "click into place", as Kyle describes. Like, turning something I factually know and believe in into an internalized feeling has been a real sticking point for me.
I know in this video we described things in a very casual, comfortable, and simple way. But the early days of my journey were quite the opposite. I came into polyamory through a previously monogamous relationship. I was actually the serial monogamist at the time. It took sooo much time to settle in and see that not only was polyamory for me, but I wanted to help others with it as well. I'd say the "clicking into place" was really a series of small clicks over time, at least for me. I didn't have one big "Aha!" moment. I had a lot of little ones. Best of luck! It sounds to me like you're approaching things the right way.
Definitely enjoying learning more! I’m somewhat new to polyamory. I’ve never been in a Poly relationship but have been in the community for a year or two and I’m glad I can learn more through y’all! I love the healthy communication!!
This a great video and a kinda must see for those who may be struggling in/with open and polyamorous relationships. I really appreciate you guys making this video.
This was great and very eloquent! Many topics touched upon and barely expanded on, as there’s only so much that can fin in half an hour of content. Thank you for the interview/talk/conversation!
Even the comment "you let your wife do..." sounds so toxic. My Partners are human beings with their own mindset and life. Who am I to ban something that they want to do? I can make a wish but nothing more.
Adding a positive comment - I love this, both of you and your dynamic. The difference between practical vs. prescriptive hierarchy is a great point! I live in a small rural town and I'm v. introverted so I don't meet (by choice) a lot of people, and even fewer poly/polycurious people - so hearing your stories and connection shows how kind, loving and free from toxic ego the poly community are. Love you all ❤
Polyamory tends to come across taboo and even a little dirty maybe, but the way you guys talk about it as a community that's loving and caring just makes it sound so wholesome and pure. I love it so much.
@bldontmatter5319 it's more like weak, broken women being used by men b'cuz... well, men will be men. But this level of promiscuity isn't usual for women. That's just... evolutionary facts. (Like hypergamy, for example.) But this whole "creating horcruxes" by giving parts of yourself (and your Soul) to others?-not cool, and quote-unquote not normal. I'm JUST saying. The TIME ALONE is just insane. Trying to keep experiences/in-jokes/preferences/boundaries ALL neat & orderly (& SEPARATE) is borderline imfkngpossible.
This video IS positive masculinity! Y'all are so confident and powerful to sit together and be so calm and friendly. No competition, no animosity, just two men sitting in a room confidently having a deep conversation about emotions, fears, joy and life. Men don't do this enough as it is, let alone with someone who we've been indoctrinated by monogamous culture to believe is our opponent. Im not here quite yet for myself, but I hope to be soon and this is very inspiring!
I left a comment talking sh*t to some of the angry dudes in here, and after watching more of the video realized that isn't the vibe, so I went back to delete it... But it vanished 😅. For the best honestly. I guess their toxic insecurity still bothers me, and I have work to do to let go of that. At the end of the day, who cares what they say. let them yell into the void 😂
@@DeadHeadAnimation You are coping because somebody is rampaging your girlfriend while you are gaming on that soytendo getting cucked. Human cope truly knows no bounds
we just recently start exploring poly. I was am your little poly baby self, this is amazing, it articulates so many things of how I have felt so well! I thought I would be ok eventually to move past these worries, and exactly as you say, you name it, dig in a little, and just yea! It's fine! thank you so much for sharing this wisdom!
Paige is very amazing person because she met both of you as amazing as well! It's really wonderful to look for your cozy conversation. I'm monogamous person, but I appreciate and inspired from open minded people. It's a new level, without toxic communication, with healthy partners and friends. Thank you for your hard work and time!
Don’t pretend this is healthy. You just are too codependent to find another partner who loves you in the same way you love them. Monogamy may not be seen as the default by everyone, but you’re surrendering your self-respect so your wife can have what she wants.
I have another committed relationship and have had several throughout my time of being polyamorous. The three of us are not the entire extent of our relationships. I've heard the self-respect thing many times and I just don't get it. What is the link between having multiple intimate partners and not having self-respect? That's never made sense to me.
@@polyamfam The self-respect comes from the ability to be disciplined and loyal to the one you marry. Key word there being one. If you have eyes for other people, you should have never been married. When you refer to your wife as "mutual partner" then shes not your wife in the purest sense. You two just happen to be wearing rings and calling yourselves spouses for... reasons?
Exactly, you got married to someone as a message that you would spend the entirety of your life with them, opening up a marriage devalues and defeats the entire purpose of it. Also, if your partner is so attention seeking and egotistical that they need two people in a romantic relationship, then she never truly loved you. She’s essentially saying that you’re not enough in your own……
I'd like to think kids of mine would not be bothered by consenting adults just doing what makes them happy. Why leave such a hateful comment on content that doesn't affect you?
@@polyamfam is great hearing things from the male perspective but also hearing the other side, especially considering it was your wife that introduced you to polyamory, it would be cool hearing her right process on the conversation, how she interacts with metamors, and relationship style from the female perspective. Thank you for the awesome content!!
@@polyamfam 😁👉👉 I could not resist. Loving the content, I'm two years into the life style myself and there is still a lot of learning and adjusting to do. Particularly around digging up ingrained learned behaviors, from society, and my upbringing, and putting them in the bin ♻️♥️π
How does the idea come where the one that isn't in the house, move in the house? How was that discussed? Would the relationship work still if 2 live together and the 1 lives alone?
We have not yet had another partner live with us. We're not closed off to the idea, but it just hasn't really presented itself. My wife and I live together. Her boyfriend has his own place. She stays at her boyfriend's place a couple of set nights per week with a lot of flexibility for adding or changing plans. The specific dynamic really depends on the wants and needs of those involved. This works great for us!
Jesus Christ died for your sins on the cross. Repent and believe in him or you will be separated from God The Father for all eternity and face hell forever, for all eternity, never ending.
I'm new to your channel and currently deep diving polyamory. Do you have any vids on when one person is ready to expore polyamory but their partner isn't and how to navigate that?
Found this video by way of IG. Did not expect to be engaged all the way through, but this was very informative and I enjoyed learning from you both. Subscribed!
Thank you for recognizing that someone new to polyamory does not inherently mean they cannot be a good partner. On the flip side, someone already poly does not inherently mean they will be a good partner or be better at handling the challenge that come with poly. As someone myself who is new to living polyamourously this past year, I came into it at 34 years old having done a LOT of personal development as well as relationship counseling (both while in relationships as well as solo working with a relationship therapist). I felt more than capable of handling the challenges and so far, have surprised myself with what I have the capacity for. Perhaps someone with more experience in poly would not have to think twice on some things whereas I might need a moment to process. I am eternally thankful that my partner was willing to enter a relationship with me being new to poly and continues to stay committed to this
I'm sorry about these negative comments. It's good that you spread love among each other and it's awesome that love can be shared with more than one person. I love how you guys interact!
This helped me a lot to just... calm down. My husband identifies as poly for some years now, but never dated another person. So we have zero experience. Now I fell for someone else, too. I love my husband, but in a totally different way that I love this new person. I already communicated my feelings and fears and everything to my husband and he is pretty chill and very supportive with my feelings, urging me to just explore them. I'm very close to this new person and he knows of my relationship with my husband being an open and potentially polyamorous one. I didn't confess to him though (maybe he doesn't reciprocate my feelings, but judging from how close we are, it might be a possibility that he does). I just think... since I'm married there is this hierarchy (practical at the very minimum, like you phrased it) and I don't want to push him into a position where he might be at a disadvantage. I have zero experience and this all so very new for me to even feel love towards two people... I sometimes even fear that I might not even love my husband anymore? Yet at the same time thinking of not having him in my life is no option. I want him in my life exactly like he is now. So maybe it's just these new feelings vs old and established ones. I'm with my husband for 17 years now. He's home, part of my life. A strong tree, providing shelter. This new person is like a ray of sunshine - warm, nurturing and embracing. Ah, this is all so complicated and new. I just don't want things to change or hurt any of them. Thank you very much for sharing your experiences. It's helping me to not feel all alove with all of these feelings.
Well, update time. I'm in a relationship with both my husband and my now-boyfriend. Both tell me that they're really happy and that I'm doing my best to make them both feel loved. I'm really head-over-heels for my boyfriend - and this kinda scares me. I'm aware that new love is exciting and special and intense. So it's bullshit to expect my feelings for my husband to be equally as intense - especially after 17 years and I shouldn't compare. And yet I can't help but to compare and wonder whether I'm not poly but instead just lying to myself and my husband. This is all new for me and it scares me so much. How were your first steps into polyamory and did similar feelings and worries arise? I just don't know. Am I just wired to believe that there can only be one love that leads me to doubt my feelings for my husband are still love? How should one define love? Do you (have to) feel equally attached to all partners involved? I should be happy and I am - I have a great husband who enabled this new relationship, supports and assures me and is oh so confident in all of this (even telling me that everything would be fine for him, as long as he's able to stay part of my life. How incredibly... generous?? in lack for a better word?) and I'm also able to experience so many new things and feelings with my boyfriend, who is like a puzzle-piece I felt was always missing - which also makes me feel guilty. But I don't want to lose any of them. I don't want to hurt any of them. I don't want to betray them or myself? And how would I know if I'm doing that?? I've told my husband even about all those doubt and fears and he's always telling me, that I'm just very emotional and freshly in love, so I should just enjoy it, take my time and look where it'll lead me. I feel like I don't deserve this. What if it may lead in us going seperate ways?? I would really appreciate content which adresses people experiencing and dealing with conflicting feelings like these when being new to polyamory. Or am I alone with these feelings?
This is hilarious, you look exactly how I picture someone doing this would look, please keep making more
he actuallt is doing this right? this isnt a joke
@@skreets3367 yeah he has too many submissive cuck traits, no chance it's a troll
@@skreets3367yeah sadly his whole Channel revolves around this shit lol.
I fucking love science
Swearing is NOT cool or attractive!
soyence
@@bwc-chvd then don't ask them on a fucking date! 🤣
@@vvexxiorr241 cobson died for Soyence and to save the jannies, capitalize Soyence next time
Fauci science! 😳 my BWC BVLL approves
It is really beautiful to see two confident men talking like this to each other. If we just don't consider the polyamory part, it is still rare for two men to talk so openly and so genuinely. Just wow. Loved this!
Thank you so much!
I agree this is really healthy and poly aside, more men should take the time to speak openly and honestly with each other like this 👏🏽
They both weak
@@will-teaslethey cannot stand up for themselves. In any way. We will outlive them!
@@will-teasle yes. And funny enough a mentally strong male won't even like the woman who's all used up after a relationship like this ahahaha
I totally agree with this, respect to form such a safe and kind bond together you guys!
The Industrial Revolution and it's Consequence's
Precisely.
Are you anti technology?
Username checks out
@@armaanchowdhury1690 im anti- letting-my-wife-bang-other-dudes. Tech is cool tho.
He is so open minded that his brain fell out of his head ❤
This is the content we need to see more of
Seriously?
This is totally your wheelhouse. Quick, concise, funny and genuine with enough of a nugget if people want to explore further. I love the long form deep dives that are so much a part of Polyamory content, but I think you’ve found a good niche to support those things without being another one of them. Thank you.
a Chad AND a Kyle...incredible. Thank you for sharing this conversation!
Yeah that made me cackle 😂
history wizard:
Thank you for all your valuable content ❤️
Thank you so much!!
This conversation is so comfortable and chill. And in a very good way it's very "boring" no drama no unnecessary stuff just two male metas sitting down and talking in a very chill way. 😊
I was honestly a little worried the video would come off boring because we are just very comfortable with each other and don't have a lot of issues to talk about. I'm glad people are enjoying it.
@@polyamfamYou are polyamory goals, mate. I really hope to be on the same level in my own relationship with my wife's GF. So far, so good for us as we share common interests and seem like each other very much as friends, so hopefully it will develop into a deep and lasting connection.
Would you ever consider making a "So you're loved one is polyamorous" type video? I would love to be open about my polyamory to some family members, but I dunno if they would actually read any material on it, even if I gave it to them. You have such a friendly and disarming way of talking about things, I think you could do it well. Just curious.
Lovely video! Thanks for normalizing polyamory!
That is an excellent idea! I'm putting it on my list now. Buuut that list is very long. I might have to bump this up as a priority. That would be super useful.
Stop normalizing this. It's disgusting!
Please do so! This will be a very important topic for me, my wife and her girlfriend pretty soon, most especially because her and I live in the same building as my parents, and sooner or later there will be either questions regarding the frequent visits or an invitation to a family event from our side. Either way, we want her to be accepted as a normal and healthy part of the family, so a video might help us with that.
Jesus Christ died for your sins on the cross. Repent and believe in him or you will be separated from God The Father for all eternity and face hell forever, for all eternity, never ending.
@@treek10k Believe it or not, I got a very good relationship with Jesus that is based on the love he preaches and doesn't involve the pitiful threats of eternal damnation you're so angsty about. So why don't you go and see a therapist for your Tartarian anxiety and start living love and compassion as he meant it instead of going aroubd essentially threatening people?
I related a lot to the point kyle made at 30:10 about his bi partner's dates. It happens to me too. It feels like, whenever there would be a woman out on a date with my bi partner, the whole jealousy.exe process doesnt even run in my brain. But when its a man, a lot of envy and comparison starts popping up. I think the unconcious part of my brain is like "well you are not a woman so you obviously cannot compare her (the date) with yourself". But if the date is with a man, my subconsious starts asking questsions like "Hmmm why him? What does he do better than me? 😠 Is he fitter? COOLER?!??!?!" . Thankfully these thoughts have been toned down a lot with time, and by the fact that i keep reminding myself that its not a race: There is no need to compete with anyone else. No one will replace you, your partner is with YOU because she wants to be with YOU, not because it checks a "boyfriend" box. No one will "replace" her "boyfriend box". Great video
That's a fantastic way of processing all of that. I'm certainly familiar with those feelings.
My insecurities even make me think that if I am not a "perfect" partner aka cool all the time with everything aka not ever complaining about anything, I will be dumped. At first those feelings are excruciating. My partners are very patient with me though, and over time the feelings shrink to a fleeting irk. Gotta remember they know all those flaws I have and they choose to be with me. The best way to show gratitude to them is to trust them.
I feel sorry for all three of you. Genuinely. I’m not saying that to be mean. My heart breaks for what you’re doing to yourselves.
@@therainman7777my heart genuinely breaks for your profound ignorance
im sorry but as a intersexual LGBTQAI+ 🏳🌈female-1 and married as a male-forced-role ( nowadays in my 30's id rather of had the chance/choice to pick@10yo, at 18yo i tried hard to pass as a sis-male straight, but even as that i couldn't stand more than one D..k/head of household/leadership 🏡 and at first i really struggled with my wife/SO kissing 😘 her wife/girlfriend and that's as a im a Polly/polygamy minded individuals and or at first me trying to deny myself gratification/grace from monogamy my family/others/religion 1/2-brainwashed/memories me with ) and can't do sex-less ( and non-caring equally aka the thought 💭of 1st wife/SO stadeics bothers me and or creeps me out as my wife's aren't collectible antique car's/investment's, but there's 1 similarly just because i like more than one 1960-80's-dodge/🇬🇧-car/truck doesn't mean i should buying/take it home as i can't be fair/good to all aka wifeys im done adding after about 2-3 ladies 4-total-marriage+6-kids ) marriage's and bi/gay-females works out better for me and my partners as i can be their best for them and myself
im 👍for all LGBTQ 🏳🌈rights including LDS/Jewish/religion marriage ( and pro-life movement as i barely missed being pilled 💀 aborted as a 🏳🌈baby, and others shouldn't be killed just for being differently 😉 ) rights, im not for nonconsensual adult marriage/relationship's aka no! pedos ect... just to be clear that im not kinky shaming it's just not for me and did have the experience come up in my personal history aka partners asking me if i liked other men ( to them dating-without-me-going-with/F-date/3-some and or was i okay with male gay sexual activity's=pass no thank you aka plutonic corporation-work$ friend zoned at best 😉 ) to joining ect.
I hope you'll make a video with your wife and girlfriend together.
My husband and boyfriend are best friends. They give each other cheek kisses and go on friend dates.
Is this a joke...
@@bldontmatter5319 not even remotely. I’m a lucky gal 🥰
@@moonlightmelodiesasmr3766 You mean selfish gal?
Awsame i hope my wife's boyfriend will Be like this If we meet
@@kaijufan2 awe you’re a silly goose 😜😜
This is what a lack of self-respect looks like. From all parties. You dont have a wife, you have a financial beneficiary with benefits. "Our mutual partner" is a fucked up thing to call your wife.
It's pretty disgusting.
westfalen
Weimar Germany part 2: Electric Bugaloo
I have no words.
I love when my husband goes on dates/hangouts with people he's seeing, I get to have the house to myself! I'm autistic and an introvert, so having solitude is very recharging. ( I do love that I get to spend so much time with him though, don't misunderstand.)
Alone time is wonderful! I consider myself an extrovert and I still love the recharge my alone time gives me.
HE IS TAKING ADVANTAGE OF YOUR WEAKNESS. STAND TALL
I wish you meet someone who only cares about you and put all his focus on you
Jesus Christ died for your sins on the cross. Repent and believe in him or you will be separated from God The Father for all eternity and face hell forever, for all eternity, never ending.
C O P E
It was lovely to hear you all get together to support your mutual partner after a sudden breakup 😍
I have a question, do you consume soy-based products? I'm testing some urban myths and wanna see if there is a link between soy and these behaviors
I doubt that.
Don't forget the overdose of microplastics.
Lol! No! I'm carnivore and polyam!
@@n-o-i-d I don't see how that's relevant. Do you want to know so you can find a switch you think you can flip so more folks are interested in polyamory or more people are into monogamy? You might want to ask yourself why you care so much what others are doing with their lives that have nothing to do with you.
@@n-o-i-d okay, but where is that curiosity coming from and why do you think it's linked to soy? Honestly, it's a bit trolly to come into the RUclips comments section and think asking a dietary question of random people is good science. Much less think that the consumption of soy products could be linked to complex human behaviors such as monogamy and polyamory. Polyamory isn't really a new thing. The internet has just made it easier for people to find each other and talk about it.
Hearing you talk about the amount of contributors to Paige’s care package made my heart soar. 🥰 This is one of the special benefits of polyamory that I try to explain to people but can’t seem to put into words. Just a deep love and care for your metamors ❤
I teared up at that story!! Like, how touching and thoughtful it is to have a small community of people jumping in to help when one of their own is hurting! 💙
Of course youre enjoying free servants
This is absolutely great content. You guys touched on a lot of the things I've...if not struggled with, then wondered about.
Seeing the camaraderie in love for Paige makes me happy.
He is so open minded that his brain fell out of his head ❤
Man oh man everything about this is on POINT! From the “time” comment to the “alone time” and everything above. Thank you for sharing this perspective because it’s much needed.
I think, instead of dismissing primary-nesting-anchor partners as hierarchical, people should view those relationships in terms of commitments, expectations, and agreements. If you live with someone, own a house with them, file taxes with them, and share a budget and finances with them you are definitionally more entangled with them and have made a greater breadth of commitments with them, than someone you don't share those things with. This is doubly true if you have children! It also comes with certain amounts of expectation in terms of being available, around. You're just there more. That's the person or persons you "come home to," sleep with most nights, etc. That doesn't mean your satellite partner doesn't have expectations, or deserve a serious commitment, or your attention and time, either, but it is different in some very important ways.
Thank you, this is such a lovely and refreshing video ❤️ I'd love to see toxic masculinity in the context of polyamory being unpacked in more detail at some point, it's such an interestic topic.
I'll absolutely be making more videos about that in the future.
No such thing as toxic masculinity. It's men standing up for their woman and being a MAN as we have for 1+ million years! You people won't outlast REAL men!
Thank you so much for this and all your other content!! I'm in a relationship with a poly person for the first time and navigating some complex feelings right now, and your content is very helpful because it provides other perspectives, gets me out of my head, and makes me feel like I'm not alone!
I'm glad y'all talk about vaguely competing in rock climbing. When you read that question, that's the first thing I was thinking. Y'all don't seem like super competitive types, but I also didn't think you'd not accidentally compete in something like who can do the rock climbing better.
I am so glad that you exist and make these videos, please keep it up!
Sent this to my nesting partner and my boyfriend to watch. This is SO their relationship! They get along so well ♥️
Your “nesting partner?” Wtf are you people on?
Passed around bitch
Are you ok with your "nesting partner" finding a girlfriend?
It's the most positive, life affirming world to see - and I appreciate the social media to 'see' into it. ❤
@@georgem7502 You're definitely a beta orbiting incel
So great to see open conversations like this about polyamory! Love your content, man
Thanks so much for this kind of content. I know you're a tiktok legend but I really don't use it, and you're one of my favorite people who talk about polyamory on the internet ♥
I feel like the insecurities we might have in a relationship are directly related with the ones we already have on our own. For instance, I might be insecure that my partner's new partner might be fitter, more fun to be around, prettier, etc BECAUSE I'm not confident about those things in myself so, in that sense, I should not only work on jealousy but also WHY I think that those things are the ones that came up with the feeling and unpack the why someone being different from me would put me ""at risk""
THIS 👏 IS 👏 EVERYTHING
This👏🏻is👏🏻what👏🏻lack👏🏻of👏🏻self👏🏻respect👏🏻looks👏🏻like.
Thanks for this, it helped a lot!
Wonderful video! These are the sort of things that when discussed openly helps break down the stigma around poly relationships.
Knowing that your partner isn’t fully satisfied with you, so they seek out a second or third relationship, must cut deep.
It’s really a fault of the person seeking multiple partners, their greed is self indulgent. The only fault of the other partner is not having a boundary in place to know they are worth someone’s WHOLE attention and love.
Did he buy you a switch?
"She dates a Chad and a Kyle" omg dying 😂
O.M.G this is so heckin, wholesome! It reminds me of my husband and boyfriend who are even closer than the ones inside this video😂They give each other cheek kisses, hugs, and even sometimes go alone in their room for “boys nights!” So cute❤❤❤
hell has a very special place for all of you
@@vrosciencecorrect
@@vroscience
Why
If it was norm for man to have multiple wiives
Why can’t a wman have multiple husbands??
Don’t show double standard & mesogyyny
GEEEEG NUSOIGLOOPAS
Do y’all have any tips on how to be more comfortable in your own company? I’m experimenting with polyamory, and I feel like regardless of if I’m monogamous, ambiamorous or polyam, I very much relate to feeling like I’m defined by my partner or my relationships
This content was very helpful and very encouraging. Hearing about how others have felt and gone through the same things I'm going through and came out the other side happy and well instills confidence in me to do the same. That being said, the simplicity with which you describe getting through it makes me feel like I'm doing something wrong and makes me feel frustrated. I know I don't own my partner and that a big source of my jealousy comes from a place of toxic masculinity, but continuing to feel the hurt that it causes me makes me wonder where/when things will "click into place", as Kyle describes. Like, turning something I factually know and believe in into an internalized feeling has been a real sticking point for me.
I know in this video we described things in a very casual, comfortable, and simple way. But the early days of my journey were quite the opposite. I came into polyamory through a previously monogamous relationship. I was actually the serial monogamist at the time. It took sooo much time to settle in and see that not only was polyamory for me, but I wanted to help others with it as well.
I'd say the "clicking into place" was really a series of small clicks over time, at least for me. I didn't have one big "Aha!" moment. I had a lot of little ones.
Best of luck! It sounds to me like you're approaching things the right way.
Definitely enjoying learning more! I’m somewhat new to polyamory. I’ve never been in a Poly relationship but have been in the community for a year or two and I’m glad I can learn more through y’all! I love the healthy communication!!
soy
Thank you for sharing this wonderful, vulnerable conversation.
very good video. All the info is top tier. Thank you for this!
Coaliest coal that ever coaled out of coaland
It's insane to see a man "proud" about being disrespected.
He is so open minded that his brain fell out of his head ❤
This was absolutely so helpful!
yes yes yes yes yes!!!!!!!!
sending this to my two partners at this very moment, it reminds me of them 💛
yeeeeesss same!
Are your two partners also dating other woman?
This a great video and a kinda must see for those who may be struggling in/with open and polyamorous relationships. I really appreciate you guys making this video.
It's nice to see that you both seem to be on the same Paige 👍
So helpful, especially from top well calibrated guys, thanks so much!
This was great and very eloquent! Many topics touched upon and barely expanded on, as there’s only so much that can fin in half an hour of content. Thank you for the interview/talk/conversation!
Absolutely. This conversation will definitely inform future videos where I talk more about the topics.
Even the comment "you let your wife do..." sounds so toxic. My Partners are human beings with their own mindset and life. Who am I to ban something that they want to do? I can make a wish but nothing more.
@@jimstickers Just say you wanna control your partner like they don't have rights outside of you.
So great ! I am looking forward to see more video ! 😍😍 thanks for your work !
Adding a positive comment - I love this, both of you and your dynamic. The difference between practical vs. prescriptive hierarchy is a great point! I live in a small rural town and I'm v. introverted so I don't meet (by choice) a lot of people, and even fewer poly/polycurious people - so hearing your stories and connection shows how kind, loving and free from toxic ego the poly community are. Love you all ❤
This is very helpful! Thank you so much! More of this please! ^-^
I'd really like to know what the endgame is for the additional partners since they're never going to be able to get married to you?
Polyamory tends to come across taboo and even a little dirty maybe, but the way you guys talk about it as a community that's loving and caring just makes it sound so wholesome and pure. I love it so much.
I appreciate that! My goal is to shed light on the realities of polyamory and do away with the misinformed stigmas.
It's not wholesome, it's weak men being used by women the vast majority of the time
@bldontmatter5319 it's more like weak, broken women being used by men b'cuz... well, men will be men.
But this level of promiscuity isn't usual for women. That's just... evolutionary facts. (Like hypergamy, for example.)
But this whole "creating horcruxes" by giving parts of yourself (and your Soul) to others?-not cool, and quote-unquote not normal. I'm JUST saying.
The TIME ALONE is just insane. Trying to keep experiences/in-jokes/preferences/boundaries ALL neat & orderly (& SEPARATE) is borderline imfkngpossible.
Insanity. Your comment doesn't even make sense you cuck
This video IS positive masculinity!
Y'all are so confident and powerful to sit together and be so calm and friendly. No competition, no animosity, just two men sitting in a room confidently having a deep conversation about emotions, fears, joy and life. Men don't do this enough as it is, let alone with someone who we've been indoctrinated by monogamous culture to believe is our opponent.
Im not here quite yet for myself, but I hope to be soon and this is very inspiring!
I left a comment talking sh*t to some of the angry dudes in here, and after watching more of the video realized that isn't the vibe, so I went back to delete it... But it vanished 😅.
For the best honestly. I guess their toxic insecurity still bothers me, and I have work to do to let go of that. At the end of the day, who cares what they say. let them yell into the void 😂
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
@@DeadHeadAnimation You are coping because somebody is rampaging your girlfriend while you are gaming on that soytendo getting cucked. Human cope truly knows no bounds
being competitive is one of the most masculine attributes men have. thankfully so.
Ö
Did he give you a Switch afterward?
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
we just recently start exploring poly. I was am your little poly baby self, this is amazing, it articulates so many things of how I have felt so well! I thought I would be ok eventually to move past these worries, and exactly as you say, you name it, dig in a little, and just yea! It's fine! thank you so much for sharing this wisdom!
Great video! Thanks for sharing.
Thanks for sharing this wonderful conversation with us!
So is there any advise that you can give to me on helping the 3 rd party guy to get more comfortable about it
Paige is very amazing person because she met both of you as amazing as well! It's really wonderful to look for your cozy conversation. I'm monogamous person, but I appreciate and inspired from open minded people. It's a new level, without toxic communication, with healthy partners and friends. Thank you for your hard work and time!
The meme is real 😭
White dudes for Harris
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Type shit
😂😂😂
Don’t pretend this is healthy. You just are too codependent to find another partner who loves you in the same way you love them. Monogamy may not be seen as the default by everyone, but you’re surrendering your self-respect so your wife can have what she wants.
I have another committed relationship and have had several throughout my time of being polyamorous. The three of us are not the entire extent of our relationships.
I've heard the self-respect thing many times and I just don't get it. What is the link between having multiple intimate partners and not having self-respect? That's never made sense to me.
@@polyamfam The self-respect comes from the ability to be disciplined and loyal to the one you marry. Key word there being one. If you have eyes for other people, you should have never been married.
When you refer to your wife as "mutual partner" then shes not your wife in the purest sense. You two just happen to be wearing rings and calling yourselves spouses for... reasons?
Exactly, you got married to someone as a message that you would spend the entirety of your life with them, opening up a marriage devalues and defeats the entire purpose of it.
Also, if your partner is so attention seeking and egotistical that they need two people in a romantic relationship, then she never truly loved you. She’s essentially saying that you’re not enough in your own……
Your children, if you ever dare to have any, would be so disappointed
I'd like to think kids of mine would not be bothered by consenting adults just doing what makes them happy. Why leave such a hateful comment on content that doesn't affect you?
@@polyamfam Fat, no gym, soy, gross, fat rolls, your womans unsatisfied.
you're delusional @@polyamfam
@@polyamfam thank fuck you don't have kids.
Great video! Thank you ❤
this is the west
Sad state of affairs
This is a great talk 😊 thankyou
This was so helpful. Thank you for your content & for sharing your experiences. ☺️🤗
Can there please be one with wife and partner next???
These interviews are a big hit so far. I'm definitely thinking about what configurations would make for the best videos.
@@polyamfam is great hearing things from the male perspective but also hearing the other side, especially considering it was your wife that introduced you to polyamory, it would be cool hearing her right process on the conversation, how she interacts with metamors, and relationship style from the female perspective.
Thank you for the awesome content!!
“She dates a Chad and a Kyle” 😂 This was wonderful! Thank you 🫶
I wish I had polyamorist friends
Once more, this is my favourite video format. Can't wait to see more of these!
I find it really wholesome to see two men on the same Paige about relationships. 😁😘
Great video. Thanks!!
I see what you did there.
@@polyamfam 😁👉👉 I could not resist.
Loving the content, I'm two years into the life style myself and there is still a lot of learning and adjusting to do. Particularly around digging up ingrained learned behaviors, from society, and my upbringing, and putting them in the bin ♻️♥️π
How does the idea come where the one that isn't in the house, move in the house? How was that discussed? Would the relationship work still if 2 live together and the 1 lives alone?
We have not yet had another partner live with us. We're not closed off to the idea, but it just hasn't really presented itself. My wife and I live together. Her boyfriend has his own place. She stays at her boyfriend's place a couple of set nights per week with a lot of flexibility for adding or changing plans. The specific dynamic really depends on the wants and needs of those involved. This works great for us!
Lol sick American woke culture. You are not men you are pathetic and weak
W comment
Jesus Christ died for your sins on the cross. Repent and believe in him or you will be separated from God The Father for all eternity and face hell forever, for all eternity, never ending.
this isn’t woke behavior this is cuck behavior
Look man, we're trying to stop this shit.
"Weak men" having sex with multiple women and being so comfortable that they can hang out without jealousy or fear 😂
I'm new to your channel and currently deep diving polyamory. Do you have any vids on when one person is ready to expore polyamory but their partner isn't and how to navigate that?
Another interview video! Yippee!
This guy seriously needs to see a doctor 😆
Found this video by way of IG. Did not expect to be engaged all the way through, but this was very informative and I enjoyed learning from you both. Subscribed!
Thank you for recognizing that someone new to polyamory does not inherently mean they cannot be a good partner. On the flip side, someone already poly does not inherently mean they will be a good partner or be better at handling the challenge that come with poly. As someone myself who is new to living polyamourously this past year, I came into it at 34 years old having done a LOT of personal development as well as relationship counseling (both while in relationships as well as solo working with a relationship therapist). I felt more than capable of handling the challenges and so far, have surprised myself with what I have the capacity for. Perhaps someone with more experience in poly would not have to think twice on some things whereas I might need a moment to process. I am eternally thankful that my partner was willing to enter a relationship with me being new to poly and continues to stay committed to this
Thank you for sharing 💓
I'm sorry about these negative comments. It's good that you spread love among each other and it's awesome that love can be shared with more than one person. I love how you guys interact!
I was 50 50 on them meeting either at DnD or at the rock wall. I knew it! :D
This is a reverse Islam 😂
Come on man 🤣🤣🤣
😂 I have no words 😶
I love this video! Please make more!
this is sad
I just shake my head. Good Lord....
What's sad is that you went out of your way to find this and still hate
This helped me a lot to just... calm down. My husband identifies as poly for some years now, but never dated another person. So we have zero experience. Now I fell for someone else, too. I love my husband, but in a totally different way that I love this new person. I already communicated my feelings and fears and everything to my husband and he is pretty chill and very supportive with my feelings, urging me to just explore them. I'm very close to this new person and he knows of my relationship with my husband being an open and potentially polyamorous one. I didn't confess to him though (maybe he doesn't reciprocate my feelings, but judging from how close we are, it might be a possibility that he does). I just think... since I'm married there is this hierarchy (practical at the very minimum, like you phrased it) and I don't want to push him into a position where he might be at a disadvantage. I have zero experience and this all so very new for me to even feel love towards two people... I sometimes even fear that I might not even love my husband anymore? Yet at the same time thinking of not having him in my life is no option. I want him in my life exactly like he is now. So maybe it's just these new feelings vs old and established ones. I'm with my husband for 17 years now. He's home, part of my life. A strong tree, providing shelter. This new person is like a ray of sunshine - warm, nurturing and embracing. Ah, this is all so complicated and new. I just don't want things to change or hurt any of them.
Thank you very much for sharing your experiences. It's helping me to not feel all alove with all of these feelings.
Well, update time. I'm in a relationship with both my husband and my now-boyfriend. Both tell me that they're really happy and that I'm doing my best to make them both feel loved.
I'm really head-over-heels for my boyfriend - and this kinda scares me. I'm aware that new love is exciting and special and intense. So it's bullshit to expect my feelings for my husband to be equally as intense - especially after 17 years and I shouldn't compare. And yet I can't help but to compare and wonder whether I'm not poly but instead just lying to myself and my husband. This is all new for me and it scares me so much. How were your first steps into polyamory and did similar feelings and worries arise? I just don't know. Am I just wired to believe that there can only be one love that leads me to doubt my feelings for my husband are still love? How should one define love? Do you (have to) feel equally attached to all partners involved? I should be happy and I am - I have a great husband who enabled this new relationship, supports and assures me and is oh so confident in all of this (even telling me that everything would be fine for him, as long as he's able to stay part of my life. How incredibly... generous?? in lack for a better word?) and I'm also able to experience so many new things and feelings with my boyfriend, who is like a puzzle-piece I felt was always missing - which also makes me feel guilty. But I don't want to lose any of them. I don't want to hurt any of them. I don't want to betray them or myself? And how would I know if I'm doing that?? I've told my husband even about all those doubt and fears and he's always telling me, that I'm just very emotional and freshly in love, so I should just enjoy it, take my time and look where it'll lead me. I feel like I don't deserve this. What if it may lead in us going seperate ways?? I would really appreciate content which adresses people experiencing and dealing with conflicting feelings like these when being new to polyamory. Or am I alone with these feelings?
I can't get over how cute that thumb nail is, so adorable
👍 for the content as well as the Letterkenny reference 😁
The BVLL in question: