Again to be super clear: this is not intended to deny anyone's victimization of ANY kind. You are not responsible for being victimized; you cannot prevent it or control bad actors. However, I truly believe healing is an inside job, and it is available to everyone who wants it and is ready for it (and there is no shame in NOT being ready to heal, we're on unique journeys and process our feels uniquely). Sending positive, loving and healing vibes to each of you 💜
I'm almost done with my toxic job. Gave notice, only one week to go as I move forward into a better place. This video has been extremely appreciated as I deal with the mental health aftermath of my toxic workplace. Thanks again!
After leaving a toxic job you should definitely take some time off before you start your next one. Because you are going to still be traumatized from your toxic job and won't be able to focus and settle into your new one. You need to go in with a fresh mindset and be ready for a new beginning.
I agree. I got out of a job that put me in an account that I used to be in that caused me bad anxiety that I developed seizures. It was bad like I didn't go to work for 9 days because it messed me up. I got terminated and I did not sue them for wrongful termination because I just wanted to get out of it. Two months later I got a new job and it is sad because it was a good one the support and the people were good but I was at that point completely dehumanized with the bad experiences in my field in the past months heading to that. I got terminated again and I regret it.
@@JenniferBrick Same here being bullied, mobbed, gaslighting, harassed at the hospital for over 12 years. I've happened to be the top worker for 38 years and have never been suspended. These bullies are jealous and miserable people. Union, manager, HR and the police are all totally useless. Bullies are lazy bums and stupid managers are scared of the bullies. They say about me I'm crazy, I drink, I'm a stalker all bs defamation of character. The biggest mistake since they removed disciplinary measures. They should arrest the bullies and fire the manager. Action speaks louder than nasty words. It destroyed my reputation. I will never quit to make these lazy bums ever win. If I decide to transfer to another hospital and may start mobbing once again, I don't know all the managers ect like in every department like now. So best to not change hospitals. I will never let bullies try to control me from quitting. Never let these low life lazy bums win ever win.
@@erinpillaI feel very sad for your experiences. I feel angry on your behalf that this toxic place messed you up so bad that you could not function well in the much better work situation only to get terminated again. Employers have not a grain of humanity in them. I learned the hard way that for me it was better to leave earlier when you first encounter bullying rather than wait until they grind you down until you go sick. In my last job that happened to me. I went off sick after 3 months torment. They did not exactly terminate me but they put pressure on me to resign. They did not believe me when I told them what caused my illness but said I was too mentally ill to commence working for them at all. I refuted this because I was perfectly well when I started the job. They started calling me in for disciplinary hearings. Instead I sent back a letter of resignation stating that my wellbeing comes before money. I wished I could have walked away from that job earlier while still well with my head held high, then I could have been well enough to look for a better work situation. Unfortunately, it seems most work places have toxic bullies because Employers cannot be bothered to look after their staff. The problem stems from lack of employment laws to protect workers. If these were in place it would be the bullies that face disciplinary action and not their victims. So don't blame yourself for getting terminated twice! It's a messed up world we live in.
I’m taking the leaf of faith and quitting a toxic job. My soul is worth more than enduring abuse for money. I will work temp jobs until I land a job offer but my boss will not rob me of my self worth.
@@mauraronda1265one can stand up to the boss as the first action and expose them. If this works, great! If they continue to bully and grind you down with the help of their flying monkeys, which often happens to isolate you, it is time to leave. I speak from experience as one who has been ganged up on and isolated.
@@kevinwilkins7851yes that is so true. However, in the early stages of the bullying, one can initially try standing up to the bully to see how the results are, if colleagues are going to rally round. Unfortunately as in my experience, this never happens and I have been in alot of shitty situations. My toxic manager woul turn it back on me and get her flying monkeys to help in gas lighting me. These flying monkeys are basically cowards who would rather side with the bully than risk being bullied themselves. What they don't realise is that strength is in numbers. When you know you are ganged up on, that is the time to leave. Unfortunately I stayed too long for money security and became ill before I left. I wished I was brave enough to leave before.
Nothing beats the relief of leaving but I have sympathy for those that cannot leave, their sad faces are all too revealing. Hiding and surviving is no way to live every day.
I left a job in March that I loved. I was demoted in December. I could not get past the disrespect and mistrust. So I retired at 51 years of age. Being debt free and mortgage free gave me the freedom to leave.
@@JenniferBrick thank you Making the difficult decision to leave gave me the power back. My decision to stay to fight for myself was too draining. Steve Harvey says "loyalty has an expiration date. " My employer's loyalty expired long before my loyalty to them expired.
I was telling my husband this morning that work shouldn’t have to feel like I’m a contestant on “Survivor”. My view of work has changed drastically from now compared to when I was in my 20’s. I don’t have time for mind games anymore. Work -life balance is everything. Work is important but it’s not the most important thing in the world. Coworkers acts so fake to have loyal alliances when I just want to get along with everyone professionally and do my job. I have no energy or purpose in sucking up. The situation I’m in is interesting. This job is an entry level IT job, however, you have people with college education and some do not (they got the job bc they were at the company for years). Some have experience and some have no experience at all. Some who have no concept of professionalism. This causes completely chaos and breeds insecure and resentful coworkers who HAVE to play the game of survivor in order for their ego to survive.
Sounds like you're clear on being unavailable for that energy. It sounds like there is a general lack of professional maturity. Trust me, leadership sees it.
My last day working for a toxic boss was today. While I felt relief at not having to endure all the toxic behavior, I also feel guilty leaving my team behind. I am also really excited to begin my new adventure with the company that allowed me to finally make a move. What a bittersweet day it has been!
Saying goodbye to colleagues is hard, especially work friends who support you and them you, and team members you tried to protect from the toxicity. But your day to day quality of life will be so much better. Who knows, maybe your coworkers will realize there is better out there too
The PTSD is real. I'm 3 weeks gone from the highest level of toxic workplace and I feel like the brain damage is permanent. The ruminations are the worse. I'm intelligent enough to know what's happening and intelligent enough to know I can't stop it, it's gotta run it's course and I need to accept the process. This video makes me hopeful and has been very helpful.
A victim mindset can sneak up on you. Even if you don't consider yourself a victim, when you just let life happen to you that kind of becomes your default and it can be draining in itself. Even if we know we have control of our life, if our actions don't reflect that, we can still get trapped in that victim mindset.
Today I did the 'handover'. I thanked my toxic boss she shook her head saying no it's been a difficult time. I told them nothing of new job, 11 years, no exit interview. I'm free! 😄
Congrats on your escape, Deborah!! If you haven't watched some my Toxic Job Aftermath video, I highly recommend (the toxic behaviors and beliefs sneak up, and it's the warning video I wish I had had).
Hello Jennifer 👋 - Now is definitely the time to be able to leave a toxic job & start fresh. Definitely take a few weeks off to purge yourself of the past & start a new job with optimism & excitement.
It's a candidate's market - it's not easy for everyone but the opportunities are out there. Life is too short to settle for toxic vibes. Thanks for your positive energy as always ✨
This is a tough conversation but getting real is powerful. It seems there are waaaay too many bullies and toxic work environments to avoid, today. I wonder what happened to teamwork, getting the job done with benefit to all and eliminating toxic personalities from the workplace? I appreciate your wisdom and clarity, Jennifer!
No one is doing anything about it. It’s gone amuck. It seems like no one cares but the ones who suffer through it. They want change but it seems others don’t. Albeit it’s typically the ones who are the culprits that don’t want change.
I just lost my job and my marriage in the last 90 days. I am not sure where to go from here. Thank you for these videos, I need to find a way to believe in myself again.
I left my job after 11 years without another job lined up. I was cynical, negative, and miserable to everyone around me. The time off gave me time to heal and reflect on the type of person I want to be.
Getting over the toxic job and healing from burnout has been about saying everyday, "Hey, make yourself safe and strong. That toxic job was a lesson." By exiting the toxic job through a medical leave of absence, I made a bad-a** power move that I didn't realise until recently.
Update one year later: The medical leave of absence ended. I proposed a transfer to a new role and team, but this was rejected by the stakeholders. I successfully completed the return to work process and apparently satisfied the stakeholders with excellent performance. Unsurprisingly, the toxic work environment was no different than when I left. In the background, I built my brand on LinkedIn, I networked, and I received an offer for a new position within the company (that is, a transfer). I learned the difference between victimization and victimhood. I can be victimized, but I do not need to be a victim.
This was a very good video. I felt my last job was very toxic I was burnt out and was running to the ground and then I got Bell’s palsy, stress as the trigger.Thankfully I recovered but no one on my work gave two shits. My two year contract ran out and only my coworker the engineer reached out to me. I had to go through my agency to see if they were even extending me. These were people that I made sure all deadlines were honored, I spent virtual happy hours and in person happy hours with, etc. I refer back to your coworkers are not your friends video.
I'm sorry your ending with them was so harsh. I expect to be valued and for your contributions to be valued. Sending so many positive heading vibes your way 💜
Jennifer, I sooo appreciate this video! Although I am a subscriber to all your videos.🥰 But this hits home to the fact of I was a victim/bullied for almost two years, on my job. I had changed careers all together, so it would take me awhile to catch my rhythm/technique of the job. It was horrible coming in daily to work! Depression. Therapy. All the above to help me through the toxicity. Today! I now let the toxic persons know, "you will not bring your negativity in my space". My piece of mind is better and moving on to continued healing!😀Thank you!!
Hi Jennifer this video is so good that it is clearing a lot of my negativities out and re-affirmed my thoughts. I wish I watched this video weeks ago when I resigned from my job. I can see this victim mindset in a lot of people about their family and work life. I love when you say being a victim actually undermines our power. From my experience, it is so true that toxic people will be very unlikely to admit their wrongdoings and it would be a waste of time to wait for their apologies because they will never apologise for whatever reasons they uphold. It is super important for the victims to start working on themselves so you are ready to live a better life.
Needing this so much right now, thank you. This really explains so much of how I am feeling right now. I had to leave a toxic workplace because my boss was bullying and harassing me and the environment was honestly like high school. I could not thrive in that environment. I love my career choice, but I won't be treated that way.
I really needed this video. I recently left a job that was so toxic, people in my life thought I was exaggerating but I wasn't. My boss called me stupid in front of people, whispered to my coworkers about me within earshot about my job performance, but when I went asking for any kind of performance review or training, it never happened. She would purposely exclude me from things--meetings or work activities. It was surreal because the people I connected with in doing my job--outside vendors, all gave me glowing feedback but my boss just trashed me every single day to the point where I started believing it. I thought i was losing my mind until I connected with 6 other employees who had been there before me and each one had a similar experience. I left the job, and my husband kept telling me to just let it go. I am still having a hard time leaving it all behind.
I hear you. Sorry that happened to you. It'll take some time to heal your self esteem and spirit, so you can't really get over it that easily, it (your trauma) needs to be validated and integrated/healed.
Thanks for sincerity, friend. The culture from corporations knows to be toxic. One thing that I will point out: nice, kind and hardworking people are always on the spot for torturing by toxic and insecure bosses. An advice what I will give is: a person just needs to rise above it, don't give a shit about the things, to know his own value and story behind and to be ready to take responsibility for his own career and actions. Why im saying that? Because many people are afraid that they will lose job if they stand up for themselves. But honestly, that's the technique that is going to be learned through experience. Strong spirit is what a human needs if he wants to swim in the pool with sharks - they want people to quit. That is their attention. Don't let them succeed!
There is strength in having a support group. But if you’re able to heal yourself as an individual (alone), guess what you might have stumbled across a huge power. You can be your own boss. If you can heal yourself: you can be your own boss. You will learn all of the other business related stuff easily… Sometimes their is opportunity amongst the chaos. Never give up. You’ll find a better fit, or you will become IT for yourself.
I was illegally fired during the process of FMLA and disability leave. Toxic coworker threw me under the bus so she could absorb my work schedule. This video was FIRST in my YT play list on the day I was fired!!! No coincidence there⭐️! Sending good vibes to Jen and the ethical people stuck in toxic jobs. ☮️
Honestly, was really nervous posting this one - but I really felt like I needed to. Maybe the universe really needed you to hear it. Sending so many vibes your way, Benjamin.
I'm in a non-toxic, no-drama good job. But the only problem is the low pay. And I'm getting more pay offers from other places. But I'm afraid to move on because I don't want to end up in a bad place. I've had so many negative experiences in the past. It's a dilemma. Physical and mental health vs more money and stress. 😑
So I had two toxic bosses in the last three years. Honestly I'm still healing from my boss from 3 years ago who made me gaslight myself. My last boss just fired me yesterday and was nothing short of a living nightmare. He berated me on conference calls and told me I was incompetent on a regular basis. I really needed to listen to this because wearing the victim eyeglasses isn't helping 😢
I left many jobs where line managers with their acolytes in the staff team would gang up, persecute me, gaslight me and blame me for things I did not do. I wish i had seen these videos before. In most of my jobs I had this shit. I clung on and stayed for the money because I had no big amount of savings to fall back on as getting another job is very difficult and one is not allowed to claim welfare support in the UK for 6 months. However, I did end up leaving anyway because I ended up very ill and unable to continue. I now claim sickness benefits because I am suffering from mental health issues i can no longer work. I learned the hard way that mental health comes before money. It is better to walk away from that job with your head held high even if you have no other job lined up and pray to God (if you believe) to help you through financial hardship, because i had to leave anyway. Better to leave in good mental and physical health than to leave sick.
I left a toxic job a few months ago and I’ve come far in my healing but also have been left with crippling anxiety. Every interview leaves me feeling anxious and with crying spells afterwards. I’m losing sleep and having trouble eating. I just feel like a complete failure.
Slow your roll with the interviews and pick apart what has happened that is causing those feelings. If it was someone pushing their ickiness onto you, write it aaaaaaaaaallllllll down, acknowledge that it never belonged to you in the first place and burn that f*cker (in a safe place of course) and mindfully LET THOSE FEELINGS GO.
I had 2 bosses that were toxic from 2 different jobs. I am still getting over it but I am getting better everyday. This video is very true and well done
I left a toxic work place 2 weeks ago. I experienced anti disabled behaviour from the management and luckily I was a temp. I walked out and told the recruitment about it. They are taking it further as it was unacceptable. I was long term unemployed due to my disability. I’m trying but I feel I will end up long term unemployed again due to the lack of work.
When I was in college, I had an incident with a staff member that cussed me out and acted very unprofessional. I have her a week to speak with me and work it out. No attempt made. I submitted a formal complaint to her management. I was told you have to present yourself as a victim and ask for help otherwise people are going to be turned off by you and not discipline the staff member who herself acted like a victim like she wasn’t the person in authority in the situation. The person I received the advice from was a well respected lawyer who was the chair of the colleges board. The Life lesson I learned was it’s all about playing a game and controlling people perceptions. Higher ups do not want to conflicts brought to them or hold anyone accountable.
Thanks so much for your help and support this video has guben me so much courage to finally make the decision to go........when You started speaking on the how it affects our rational thinking...i truly feek this way like i operates out of fear instead if data
I survived working for a toxic govt lab. The management team was obsessed with providing statistical appearance to their testing of detection systems. They claimed to be competent, but continually made errors expected from beginning students. Unbeknownst to me, this management had a history of narcissistic group behavior, as did their customer. Instead of allowing open discussion, they victimized anyone questioning the existing narrative. They resulted to taking discussions and work offline, disparaging employees, using junior level staff to undermine more experienced and educated staff, triangulating employees, blaming subordinates for mismanagement, and weaponizing performance reviews and employee surveys For those statistically trained, they basically did not recognize that performing tests and / or taking measurements on the same test object or subject resulted in correlated or clustered samples. To circumvent this reality, they attempted to bring philosophy and logic into the matter, but they screwed those disciplines up also by misapplying them in desperation to avoid their errors There was important mission at hand. But personal ambitions and group beliefs were apparently more important. I was stuck because I was supporting a domestic violence family survivors. I eventually left after speaking to expert mentors, all of whom supported me. Then, I could leave intellectually fulfilled and justified My advice in cases of misuse of science, which is actually pretty common in both profit and non-profit organizations is to document your concepts, your work, and nay discussions, meetings , etc. The other empowering thing, to circumvent the gaslighting, is to seek outside support, preferably by experts. This provides objectivity for you, as a victim of narcissistic abuse.
What happened with my ex boss fits a pattern that is going on in my life and so it makes it harder for me to "just let go". I left that place months ago and have moved on jobwise. But it was really hard to move on because I was too afraid that patterns would repeat. I know my ex boss is a special kind of a*hole and that it was all unique in that sense. But workplaces have changed so much and people are more empowered to do whatever they want to do. My new boss is nowhere near the type of person my ex boss is, so that's a big sigh of relief.
People in power position will try to get over others. Not a victim we are being targeted and have every right to stand up and say something. Toxic people in power positions manipulate and love to do this. Terrible and upper management needs to hear people out and do something to get these toxic people out!
Working at Goodwill after some 5 years just to work as a team not trying to be a supervisor just go along with what the other team members are doing .after following the leader feeling I get my head against a wall when I am told I am be yelled at when I am doing something wrong..I do yell back doesn't do any good or move me up
Just watched this again. I have a new job, but it also has other survivors of my last job. One really has the victim mindset and I had to let that person know that his comments about continued dealings with old job are triggering to me and that i hope he has less bad experiences in the future. (Nicest way I could think of besides telling him to stop sharing.) I may share this video with them 🤔🤔 what do you think?
Hi.......i got out of a toxic job just over a month ago...and today i started a new job with a great team....but, all the negative inner emotions have come back....i feel concerned that i will rarel things up and telling myself to stay quiet, not share too much about my life....like i an doubting myself....its frightening....the trauma is real!.....what should i do Jen?
I hear what you're saying. Some things we can control and some things we can't. I agree that we have more control than we realize. I would also like to mention that antidepressants helped me for a time.
My new bosses constantly lie talk over me reply with what i call diarrhea mouth sort of longwinded sentences that mean nothing and aim at shutting me down. Its so toxic and they have .25 of my skills and strengths .. Now I'm good enough to do my job and the vacant mgr job going over and beyond..and boss feedback is "you've done a lot". I'm taking time off and plan on applying outside my co i would not have said that when i came on board again 5 yrs ago after staying w same co 6 yrs and leaving i really love the co and outside my situation is not the same. Incidentally these new bosses have stopped me from internal transfer despite my glowing reviews and past bosses, directors as references. My 1 prior boss and i still talk and her face is shock. And just bc i can when i do leave i will give 5 business days notice. Just to be done on my terms why should i let it linger train people that make more than me..noppe
Jen..i need help Got a contingent job offer and now got another job offer in other company and they sent me a contract. The contingent job is slightly higher paid but it is contingent upon BGV and some pre employment assessment. Should I take the less paid job which sent me a real employment contract?
Am I a victor when boss always on my ass Course I am number 1 person in my department I get scolded at littlest thing yes I work in a big turnover grocery store Can you tell me how I can work with my boss Being number 1 I get to do other peoples work slight learning disability other people don’t do there job so he goes Jen you go do it and if I don’t do that o I get hell because this older lady can’t lift or push carts at a grocery store so how do I deal with this but it’s a comfortable position for me . Let me know
I normally love your videos and find them extremely helpful. This one...I dont feel was the same. There is nothing empowering about this video. Just to tell people "stop being a victim" when they had no control of the situation seems kind of off. I think it would have been better to make a video showing how people can take power into their own hands through action. Like what they can look for in a new job interview or the first day on a new job. Something like that. Most often there are signs of a toxic job and ways that people can avoid it...and there are also ways to get out of that job without just quitting and being left with no income.
I appreciate you sharing yoru thoughts, and hanging with me, Heidi. In case you need them: 5 New Job RED FLAGS that you should QUIT ASAP 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩 ruclips.net/video/zRCe3lUd7kA/видео.html Toxic Job Escape Plan studio.ruclips.net/user/videoTVmU_EPoooU/edit Toxic Job recovery ruclips.net/video/seSULS5oMv4/видео.html There's a lot more! I fyou wanna poke around, the playlist I linked in the description includes all the video I've made on spotting, escaping and getting over a toxic job 💜
Again to be super clear: this is not intended to deny anyone's victimization of ANY kind. You are not responsible for being victimized; you cannot prevent it or control bad actors. However, I truly believe healing is an inside job, and it is available to everyone who wants it and is ready for it (and there is no shame in NOT being ready to heal, we're on unique journeys and process our feels uniquely). Sending positive, loving and healing vibes to each of you 💜
I'm almost done with my toxic job. Gave notice, only one week to go as I move forward into a better place. This video has been extremely appreciated as I deal with the mental health aftermath of my toxic workplace. Thanks again!
You have to take your time with it.
love this thank you!!
After leaving a toxic job you should definitely take some time off before you start your next one. Because you are going to still be traumatized from your toxic job and won't be able to focus and settle into your new one. You need to go in with a fresh mindset and be ready for a new beginning.
Totally agree having time to decompress is ideal if possible. If it's not make space where you can for it.
I agree. I got out of a job that put me in an account that I used to be in that caused me bad anxiety that I developed seizures. It was bad like I didn't go to work for 9 days because it messed me up. I got terminated and I did not sue them for wrongful termination because I just wanted to get out of it. Two months later I got a new job and it is sad because it was a good one the support and the people were good but I was at that point completely dehumanized with the bad experiences in my field in the past months heading to that. I got terminated again and I regret it.
This is exactly right. Take some time to heal.
@@JenniferBrick Same here being bullied, mobbed, gaslighting, harassed at the hospital for over 12 years. I've happened to be the top worker for 38 years and have never been suspended. These bullies are jealous and miserable people. Union, manager, HR and the police are all totally useless. Bullies are lazy bums and stupid managers are scared of the bullies. They say about me I'm crazy, I drink, I'm a stalker all bs defamation of character. The biggest mistake since they removed disciplinary measures. They should arrest the bullies and fire the manager. Action speaks louder than nasty words. It destroyed my reputation. I will never quit to make these lazy bums ever win. If I decide to transfer to another hospital and may start mobbing once again, I don't know all the managers ect like in every department like now. So best to not change hospitals. I will never let bullies try to control me from quitting. Never let these low life lazy bums win ever win.
@@erinpillaI feel very sad for your experiences. I feel angry on your behalf that this toxic place messed you up so bad that you could not function well in the much better work situation only to get terminated again. Employers have not a grain of humanity in them. I learned the hard way that for me it was better to leave earlier when you first encounter bullying rather than wait until they grind you down until you go sick. In my last job that happened to me. I went off sick after 3 months torment. They did not exactly terminate me but they put pressure on me to resign. They did not believe me when I told them what caused my illness but said I was too mentally ill to commence working for them at all. I refuted this because I was perfectly well when I started the job. They started calling me in for disciplinary hearings. Instead I sent back a letter of resignation stating that my wellbeing comes before money. I wished I could have walked away from that job earlier while still well with my head held high, then I could have been well enough to look for a better work situation. Unfortunately, it seems most work places have toxic bullies because Employers cannot be bothered to look after their staff. The problem stems from lack of employment laws to protect workers. If these were in place it would be the bullies that face disciplinary action and not their victims. So don't blame yourself for getting terminated twice! It's a messed up world we live in.
I’m taking the leaf of faith and quitting a toxic job. My soul is worth more than enduring abuse for money. I will work temp jobs until I land a job offer but my boss will not rob me of my self worth.
@christinamorales6887 sending love & pray you're in a nurturing work space now 🙏🏼 ❤️
You’re the victor when you leave that toxic job. Remember that instead.
Why do you have to leave. Why not stand up to the bully. Expose them to all ….so sad that this continues to happen. Don’t adapt!
@Maura Ronda So that only works if there are several colleagues who stand up to the bully. A lot of times we're on our own island of hell.
@@mauraronda1265one can stand up to the boss as the first action and expose them. If this works, great! If they continue to bully and grind you down with the help of their flying monkeys, which often happens to isolate you, it is time to leave. I speak from experience as one who has been ganged up on and isolated.
@@kevinwilkins7851yes that is so true. However, in the early stages of the bullying, one can initially try standing up to the bully to see how the results are, if colleagues are going to rally round. Unfortunately as in my experience, this never happens and I have been in alot of shitty situations. My toxic manager woul turn it back on me and get her flying monkeys to help in gas lighting me. These flying monkeys are basically cowards who would rather side with the bully than risk being bullied themselves. What they don't realise is that strength is in numbers. When you know you are ganged up on, that is the time to leave. Unfortunately I stayed too long for money security and became ill before I left. I wished I was brave enough to leave before.
@@mauraronda1265 that can be an option. but it's not always the case that you win when you stand up especially if there's power play involved.
Nothing beats the relief of leaving but I have sympathy for those that cannot leave, their sad faces are all too revealing. Hiding and surviving is no way to live every day.
Yep! I experienced that as well. I had two coworkers tell me they wish they could trade places with me and wished it were them that was leaving 😞
I left a job in March that I loved.
I was demoted in December.
I could not get past the disrespect and mistrust. So I retired at 51 years of age.
Being debt free and mortgage free gave me the freedom to leave.
I'm so sorry you went through this, Rhonda. Sending you so many healing vibes 💜✨
@@JenniferBrick thank you
Making the difficult decision to leave gave me the power back.
My decision to stay to fight for myself was too draining.
Steve Harvey says "loyalty has an expiration date. "
My employer's loyalty expired long before my loyalty to them expired.
Disrespect and mistrust, that's exactly how I felt after 11 years service. Start new job soon. Enjoy your retirement.
@@rhondavigil795 Well said 🙂🙌I am happy for you.
GOOD FOR YOU!
🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗
I was telling my husband this morning that work shouldn’t have to feel like I’m a contestant on “Survivor”. My view of work has changed drastically from now compared to when I was in my 20’s. I don’t have time for mind games anymore. Work -life balance is everything. Work is important but it’s not the most important thing in the world. Coworkers acts so fake to have loyal alliances when I just want to get along with everyone professionally and do my job. I have no energy or purpose in sucking up. The situation I’m in is interesting. This job is an entry level IT job, however, you have people with college education and some do not (they got the job bc they were at the company for years). Some have experience and some have no experience at all. Some who have no concept of professionalism. This causes completely chaos and breeds insecure and resentful coworkers who HAVE to play the game of survivor in order for their ego to survive.
Sounds like you're clear on being unavailable for that energy.
It sounds like there is a general lack of professional maturity. Trust me, leadership sees it.
Yes it’s absolute nonsense!
My last day working for a toxic boss was today. While I felt relief at not having to endure all the toxic behavior, I also feel guilty leaving my team behind. I am also really excited to begin my new adventure with the company that allowed me to finally make a move. What a bittersweet day it has been!
Saying goodbye to colleagues is hard, especially work friends who support you and them you, and team members you tried to protect from the toxicity. But your day to day quality of life will be so much better. Who knows, maybe your coworkers will realize there is better out there too
The PTSD is real. I'm 3 weeks gone from the highest level of toxic workplace and I feel like the brain damage is permanent. The ruminations are the worse. I'm intelligent enough to know what's happening and intelligent enough to know I can't stop it, it's gotta run it's course and I need to accept the process. This video makes me hopeful and has been very helpful.
A victim mindset can sneak up on you. Even if you don't consider yourself a victim, when you just let life happen to you that kind of becomes your default and it can be draining in itself.
Even if we know we have control of our life, if our actions don't reflect that, we can still get trapped in that victim mindset.
Yes, this is an excellent point, James. Thank you for adding it!
Today I did the 'handover'. I thanked my toxic boss she shook her head saying no it's been a difficult time. I told them nothing of new job, 11 years, no exit interview. I'm free! 😄
Congrats on your escape, Deborah!! If you haven't watched some my Toxic Job Aftermath video, I highly recommend (the toxic behaviors and beliefs sneak up, and it's the warning video I wish I had had).
Hello Jennifer 👋 - Now is definitely the time to be able to leave a toxic job & start fresh. Definitely take a few weeks off to purge yourself of the past & start a new job with optimism & excitement.
It's a candidate's market - it's not easy for everyone but the opportunities are out there. Life is too short to settle for toxic vibes. Thanks for your positive energy as always ✨
I like to think of myself as a survivor of it, but I'm still dealing with the emotional scars.
That is what a surivivor does, and the path to thrive after IMHO. 💜
@@JenniferBrick 👏👏👌♥️
This is a tough conversation but getting real is powerful. It seems there are waaaay too many bullies and toxic work environments to avoid, today. I wonder what happened to teamwork, getting the job done with benefit to all and eliminating toxic personalities from the workplace? I appreciate your wisdom and clarity, Jennifer!
No one is doing anything about it. It’s gone amuck. It seems like no one cares but the ones who suffer through it. They want change but it seems others don’t.
Albeit it’s typically the ones who are the culprits that don’t want change.
Someone I know once said," you don't always have control of your circumstance but you do have choices within them."
I just lost my job and my marriage in the last 90 days. I am not sure where to go from here. Thank you for these videos, I need to find a way to believe in myself again.
I left my job after 11 years without another job lined up. I was cynical, negative, and miserable to everyone around me. The time off gave me time to heal and reflect on the type of person I want to be.
Good for you!
Getting over the toxic job and healing from burnout has been about saying everyday, "Hey, make yourself safe and strong. That toxic job was a lesson." By exiting the toxic job through a medical leave of absence, I made a bad-a** power move that I didn't realise until recently.
Update one year later: The medical leave of absence ended. I proposed a transfer to a new role and team, but this was rejected by the stakeholders. I successfully completed the return to work process and apparently satisfied the stakeholders with excellent performance. Unsurprisingly, the toxic work environment was no different than when I left. In the background, I built my brand on LinkedIn, I networked, and I received an offer for a new position within the company (that is, a transfer). I learned the difference between victimization and victimhood. I can be victimized, but I do not need to be a victim.
@@Sveiksmobilethank you for that self awareness. I needed that.
This was a very good video. I felt my last job was very toxic I was burnt out and was running to the ground and then I got Bell’s palsy, stress as the trigger.Thankfully I recovered but no one on my work gave two shits. My two year contract ran out and only my coworker the engineer reached out to me. I had to go through my agency to see if they were even extending me. These were people that I made sure all deadlines were honored, I spent virtual happy hours and in person happy hours with, etc. I refer back to your coworkers are not your friends video.
I'm sorry your ending with them was so harsh. I expect to be valued and for your contributions to be valued. Sending so many positive heading vibes your way 💜
I’ve been applying to jobs to try and escape my current toxic one. I’m hoping for healing once I find the new role that I can really thrive in.
Jennifer, I sooo appreciate this video! Although I am a subscriber to all your videos.🥰 But this hits home to the fact of I was a victim/bullied for almost two years, on my job. I had changed careers all together, so it would take me awhile to catch my rhythm/technique of the job. It was horrible coming in daily to work! Depression. Therapy. All the above to help me through the toxicity. Today! I now let the toxic persons know, "you will not bring your negativity in my space". My piece of mind is better and moving on to continued healing!😀Thank you!!
Boundaries a LIFE CHANGING. Sending you so many positive vibes, Stacey!
I can't imagine how someone so young ever got so wise. I love all of your videos.
Hi Jennifer this video is so good that it is clearing a lot of my negativities out and re-affirmed my thoughts. I wish I watched this video weeks ago when I resigned from my job. I can see this victim mindset in a lot of people about their family and work life. I love when you say being a victim actually undermines our power. From my experience, it is so true that toxic people will be very unlikely to admit their wrongdoings and it would be a waste of time to wait for their apologies because they will never apologise for whatever reasons they uphold. It is super important for the victims to start working on themselves so you are ready to live a better life.
Needing this so much right now, thank you. This really explains so much of how I am feeling right now. I had to leave a toxic workplace because my boss was bullying and harassing me and the environment was honestly like high school. I could not thrive in that environment. I love my career choice, but I won't be treated that way.
I really needed this video. I recently left a job that was so toxic, people in my life thought I was exaggerating but I wasn't. My boss called me stupid in front of people, whispered to my coworkers about me within earshot about my job performance, but when I went asking for any kind of performance review or training, it never happened. She would purposely exclude me from things--meetings or work activities. It was surreal because the people I connected with in doing my job--outside vendors, all gave me glowing feedback but my boss just trashed me every single day to the point where I started believing it. I thought i was losing my mind until I connected with 6 other employees who had been there before me and each one had a similar experience. I left the job, and my husband kept telling me to just let it go. I am still having a hard time leaving it all behind.
I hear you. Sorry that happened to you. It'll take some time to heal your self esteem and spirit, so you can't really get over it that easily, it (your trauma) needs to be validated and integrated/healed.
Thanks for sincerity, friend. The culture from corporations knows to be toxic. One thing that I will point out: nice, kind and hardworking people are always on the spot for torturing by toxic and insecure bosses. An advice what I will give is: a person just needs to rise above it, don't give a shit about the things, to know his own value and story behind and to be ready to take responsibility for his own career and actions. Why im saying that? Because many people are afraid that they will lose job if they stand up for themselves. But honestly, that's the technique that is going to be learned through experience. Strong spirit is what a human needs if he wants to swim in the pool with sharks - they want people to quit. That is their attention. Don't let them succeed!
So wonderfully said, Ana 💜
@@JenniferBrick ❤️
Wonderfully said Ana!👏🏽👏🏽
@@staceydobbins5487 Thank you Stacey! ❤️
I agree with you, Ana. Quitting is not always the answer. I believe you have to fight for your happiness!
“You can’t feel like a victim when you feel powerful.” - Jennifer Brick Thank you! I needed this ❤
There is strength in having a support group.
But if you’re able to heal yourself as an individual (alone), guess what you might have stumbled across a huge power. You can be your own boss.
If you can heal yourself: you can be your own boss. You will learn all of the other business related stuff easily…
Sometimes their is opportunity amongst the chaos. Never give up. You’ll find a better fit, or you will become IT for yourself.
I'm going to get your book thanks you, thanks for encouraging healing and letting go of victim.
Thank you for this video. Toxic workplaces really give you trauma. I have been there!
I was illegally fired during the process of FMLA and disability leave. Toxic coworker threw me under the bus so she could absorb my work schedule. This video was FIRST in my YT play list on the day I was fired!!! No coincidence there⭐️! Sending good vibes to Jen and the ethical people stuck in toxic jobs. ☮️
This is the push I desperately needed! Thank you 🙌
Honestly, was really nervous posting this one - but I really felt like I needed to. Maybe the universe really needed you to hear it. Sending so many vibes your way, Benjamin.
Im not going anywhere, they are going to reap 100 fold back.
Thank you. This is a topic not discussed at my workplace and your points are spot on!
I'm in a non-toxic, no-drama good job. But the only problem is the low pay.
And I'm getting more pay offers from other places. But I'm afraid to move on because I don't want to end up in a bad place. I've had so many negative experiences in the past. It's a dilemma. Physical and mental health vs more money and stress. 😑
You don't have to choose between financial stability and a place to work that is physically and psychological safe. You can and should have both 💜
@@JenniferBrick Thanks. I'll try to get both
Personally! I would say in the non toxic job. Trust the extra money just to cry everyday doesn’t add to your life.
If your current non toxic job pays the bills and still leaves a little bit to save and have fun with, stay there.
So I had two toxic bosses in the last three years. Honestly I'm still healing from my boss from 3 years ago who made me gaslight myself. My last boss just fired me yesterday and was nothing short of a living nightmare. He berated me on conference calls and told me I was incompetent on a regular basis. I really needed to listen to this because wearing the victim eyeglasses isn't helping 😢
I left many jobs where line managers with their acolytes in the staff team would gang up, persecute me, gaslight me and blame me for things I did not do. I wish i had seen these videos before. In most of my jobs I had this shit. I clung on and stayed for the money because I had no big amount of savings to fall back on as getting another job is very difficult and one is not allowed to claim welfare support in the UK for 6 months. However, I did end up leaving anyway because I ended up very ill and unable to continue. I now claim sickness benefits because I am suffering from mental health issues i can no longer work. I learned the hard way that mental health comes before money. It is better to walk away from that job with your head held high even if you have no other job lined up and pray to God (if you believe) to help you through financial hardship, because i had to leave anyway. Better to leave in good mental and physical health than to leave sick.
I left a toxic job a few months ago and I’ve come far in my healing but also have been left with crippling anxiety. Every interview leaves me feeling anxious and with crying spells afterwards. I’m losing sleep and having trouble eating. I just feel like a complete failure.
Slow your roll with the interviews and pick apart what has happened that is causing those feelings. If it was someone pushing their ickiness onto you, write it aaaaaaaaaallllllll down, acknowledge that it never belonged to you in the first place and burn that f*cker (in a safe place of course) and mindfully LET THOSE FEELINGS GO.
Thank you for this, this has helped me significantly with what I've recently gone through🙂
I had 2 bosses that were toxic from 2 different jobs. I am still getting over it but I am getting better everyday. This video is very true and well done
You’re awesome and so smart and humble Jennifer. I appreciate you :)
Thanks friend 💜
I left a toxic work place 2 weeks ago. I experienced anti disabled behaviour from the management and luckily I was a temp. I walked out and told the recruitment about it. They are taking it further as it was unacceptable. I was long term unemployed due to my disability. I’m trying but I feel I will end up long term unemployed again due to the lack of work.
Did... did career bestie basically just film a solid 14 minutes of quality YT content, all in one take? 😳💖
When I was in college, I had an incident with a staff member that cussed me out and acted very unprofessional. I have her a week to speak with me and work it out. No attempt made. I submitted a formal complaint to her management. I was told you have to present yourself as a victim and ask for help otherwise people are going to be turned off by you and not discipline the staff member who herself acted like a victim like she wasn’t the person in authority in the situation. The person I received the advice from was a well respected lawyer who was the chair of the colleges board. The Life lesson I learned was it’s all about playing a game and controlling people perceptions. Higher ups do not want to conflicts brought to them or hold anyone accountable.
Thanks so much for your help and support this video has guben me so much courage to finally make the decision to go........when You started speaking on the how it affects our rational thinking...i truly feek this way like i operates out of fear instead if data
It’s time. For me it took about nine months. And it also took me forgiving toxic people that I worked with not for them
But for me.
I just got turned on to your channel and absolutely love it. You give amazing advice. Thank you so much for your content
Thanks for hanging with me. I really hope my videos help you 💜
Yes it is always nice to hear you say that...career bestie!!!
I left my dream career after 20 years of toxicity. Only regret is that I wish I left sooner !!!
I survived working for a toxic govt lab.
The management team was obsessed with providing statistical appearance to their testing of detection systems.
They claimed to be competent, but continually made errors expected from beginning students.
Unbeknownst to me, this management had a history of narcissistic group behavior, as did their customer.
Instead of allowing open discussion, they victimized anyone questioning the existing narrative. They resulted to taking discussions and work offline, disparaging employees, using junior level staff to undermine more experienced and educated staff, triangulating employees, blaming subordinates for mismanagement, and weaponizing performance reviews and employee surveys
For those statistically trained, they basically did not recognize that performing tests and / or taking measurements on the same test object or subject resulted in correlated or clustered samples.
To circumvent this reality, they attempted to bring philosophy and logic into the matter, but they screwed those disciplines up also by misapplying them in desperation to avoid their errors
There was important mission at hand. But personal ambitions and group beliefs were apparently more important.
I was stuck because I was supporting a domestic violence family survivors. I eventually left after speaking to expert mentors, all of whom supported me. Then, I could leave intellectually fulfilled and justified
My advice in cases of misuse of science, which is actually pretty common in both profit and non-profit organizations is to document your concepts, your work, and nay discussions, meetings , etc. The other empowering thing, to circumvent the gaslighting, is to seek outside support, preferably by experts. This provides objectivity for you, as a victim of narcissistic abuse.
Well dauuuummmm....such a real talk conversation!
I know you know the tough convo that just needs to be had 💜
What happened with my ex boss fits a pattern that is going on in my life and so it makes it harder for me to "just let go". I left that place months ago and have moved on jobwise. But it was really hard to move on because I was too afraid that patterns would repeat. I know my ex boss is a special kind of a*hole and that it was all unique in that sense. But workplaces have changed so much and people are more empowered to do whatever they want to do.
My new boss is nowhere near the type of person my ex boss is, so that's a big sigh of relief.
Amazing video content you spoke very effective and eloquently
People in power position will try to get over others. Not a victim we are being targeted and have every right to stand up and say something. Toxic people in power positions manipulate and love to do this. Terrible and upper management needs to hear people out and do something to get these toxic people out!
I had to leave a toxic job because I fell down the stairs and no one supported or cared about me.
Please make more videos about getting over it...
Working at Goodwill after some 5 years just to work as a team not trying to be a supervisor just go along with what the other team members are doing .after following the leader feeling I get my head against a wall when I am told I am be yelled at when I am doing something wrong..I do yell back doesn't do any good or move me up
this is my therapy because I cannot afford the real therapy. thanks Jennifer. Your sharing the knowledge here is priceless. Thank you.
Just watched this again. I have a new job, but it also has other survivors of my last job. One really has the victim mindset and I had to let that person know that his comments about continued dealings with old job are triggering to me and that i hope he has less bad experiences in the future. (Nicest way I could think of besides telling him to stop sharing.) I may share this video with them 🤔🤔 what do you think?
Thank you!
Hi.......i got out of a toxic job just over a month ago...and today i started a new job with a great team....but, all the negative inner emotions have come back....i feel concerned that i will rarel things up and telling myself to stay quiet, not share too much about my life....like i an doubting myself....its frightening....the trauma is real!.....what should i do Jen?
I hear what you're saying. Some things we can control and some things we can't. I agree that we have more control than we realize.
I would also like to mention that antidepressants helped me for a time.
I'm all for any and all tools available. Sending positive vibes your way ✨
Hi Jennifer, I missed this workshop. Any chance you have a replay or another coming up?
I was ghosted after my job offer and I still don't understand why it's been almost 4 months
This happened to me 😢thank you
Needed this today
Thank you for this
Did you post the vid about not being energetically available for bad vibes
It's been 4 years now 😢😢😢😢 I still get PAs..
My new bosses constantly lie talk over me reply with what i call diarrhea mouth sort of longwinded sentences that mean nothing and aim at shutting me down. Its so toxic and they have .25 of my skills and strengths .. Now I'm good enough to do my job and the vacant mgr job going over and beyond..and boss feedback is "you've done a lot". I'm taking time off and plan on applying outside my co i would not have said that when i came on board again 5 yrs ago after staying w same co 6 yrs and leaving i really love the co and outside my situation is not the same. Incidentally these new bosses have stopped me from internal transfer despite my glowing reviews and past bosses, directors as references. My 1 prior boss and i still talk and her face is shock. And just bc i can when i do leave i will give 5 business days notice. Just to be done on my terms why should i let it linger train people that make more than me..noppe
Most people cannot afford time off between jobs though?
Jen..i need help
Got a contingent job offer and now got another job offer in other company and they sent me a contract. The contingent job is slightly higher paid but it is contingent upon BGV and some pre employment assessment. Should I take the less paid job which sent me a real employment contract?
It's happening At emart company malaysia
all the people is myself
Am I a victor when boss always on my ass
Course I am number 1 person in my department I get scolded at littlest thing yes I work in a big turnover grocery store
Can you tell me how I can work with my boss
Being number 1 I get to do other peoples work slight learning disability other people don’t do there job so he goes Jen you go do it and if I don’t do that o I get hell because this older lady can’t lift or push carts at a grocery store so how do I deal with this but it’s a comfortable position for me . Let me know
people so angry because myself
I normally love your videos and find them extremely helpful. This one...I dont feel was the same. There is nothing empowering about this video. Just to tell people "stop being a victim" when they had no control of the situation seems kind of off. I think it would have been better to make a video showing how people can take power into their own hands through action. Like what they can look for in a new job interview or the first day on a new job. Something like that. Most often there are signs of a toxic job and ways that people can avoid it...and there are also ways to get out of that job without just quitting and being left with no income.
I appreciate you sharing yoru thoughts, and hanging with me, Heidi.
In case you need them:
5 New Job RED FLAGS that you should QUIT ASAP 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩 ruclips.net/video/zRCe3lUd7kA/видео.html
Toxic Job Escape Plan
studio.ruclips.net/user/videoTVmU_EPoooU/edit
Toxic Job recovery
ruclips.net/video/seSULS5oMv4/видео.html
There's a lot more! I fyou wanna poke around, the playlist I linked in the description includes all the video I've made on spotting, escaping and getting over a toxic job 💜
Sometimes employees may be stuck in a bad job market or in an incestuous industry.
English is not my first language, I wonder where is your accent from, it sounds peculiar
I want be free
Dysfunctional meat departments lol
Jenn you are so beautiful!