Ashley Madison & Crushes on Other People
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- Опубликовано: 17 ноя 2024
- Ascension Presents’ Father Mike Schmitz breaks down the strong emotions behind the Ashley Madison scandal, laying out the real dilemma deep in the hearts of those who are tempted to be unfaithful in a committed relationship. Father Mike emphasizes that a mere crush is not as important as the solemn promise that a person makes to his or her spouse, and shows a way out for those who think they’re trapped within unwanted feelings of “eros” towards someone.
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I needed this today. I've dealt with temptations to porn for almost 13 years, and the days where it really feels oppressive... I realize now that it's just the enemy trying to convince me I cannot break those chains, when God is willing to give me the key to them the entire time. Please pray for me. There's someone in my life I hop to marry one day, and I don't want this to be part of the future I hope for us.
God Bless! much love :)
Then I'll just have to find a way to live with that, because the love that is in my life right now is by far the greatest I have ever known! Pornography is an annoyance I ignore these days; it's not worth risking either my future happiness or eternal soul.
Amen.
The demon Asmodeus can be causing this "Oppression". In the book of Tobit this is the demon causing all the problems regarding a good marriage.
According to one exorcist demonic influence can be oppressive. I don't know the solutions, I am researching this further myself.
at first it was fun but now it is slavery . I want to break free but it's too strong .
This is why I became Catholic. We pursue what's right, not what's easy. Thanks Father Mike! 👍
Brick Builder UK "We’re in a time when we must choose between what is right and what is easy. And remember, Harry, whatever happens, you’re never alone."
I don't know if the Dumbledore reference was intentional, but it's a good philosophy to hold.
I have great respect for the Catholic faith and the closer I get to know Jesus the more I lean towards the Catholic church. God bless you tube vids like this one.
Well! I had a Catholic girlfriend and we were in a long term relationship. What did I discovered in the end - she was feeding more than one crush. I found three, I said she should stop feeding them but refused. It was hurting me very bad. Catholics do also cheat.
That's sad. I'm sorry that you found yourself in a relationship with a false person.
Jesus tells us to be kind, honest and faithful, this is showing his love.
This girlfriend of yours did neither.
She was a Christian in name only.
Trust God, he has the right person for you.
There are many true Christian marriages that stand the test of time regardless of whatever denomination a person needs a relationship with Jesus christ.
All the best for your future.
For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
Jeremiah 20:11
Mrs Bell - don’t be sorry. I found pease in Jesus, and I am actually in a process becoming a Catholic. All this drama just woke me up, and I am done with a life without Jesus and God. I feel a million times better after I had a conversation with our priest, and I start coming in the church regularly.
Thank you Father. Recent convert from Islam who calls herself passionately Catholic. Love all your videos. I also love Bishop Barron. More please.
Nadia Bruce yeah yeah, you do look like a convert lol. Stop with the pathetic propaganda. You don’t know Islam any more than just a regular Fox News audience.
Islam is from satan
@@sananarshad5736 20 million muslim convert to Christianity per year.. 16,000 muslims become ex muslims a day.. Mohammed (Pissbuh) is a false prophet and induced by Satan..
@@sananarshad5736 islam is a religion influenced by satan that focuses on earthly desires and not the desires of God. Your prophet was a false prophet
Praise be God for your conversion, Nadia. May your life be a testimony of Jesus and convert many others this way!
"Starve that crush" - I love this line.
This is very good advice. If you have a crush that you don't want to have (or shouldn't) starving it is very effective. If you work with them, avoid them any way you can. Walk around their work area, take a different flight of stairs or elevator. Avoid extended conversations, only say hello or how are you. Never look up their Facebook or Twitter. Just never give yourself any opportunity to interact with them at all, and it may take a while, like even a month or two, but eventually you'll stop caring about them.
While dating my ex (5 years kid out of wedlock before i found jesus) i started at a new place. I met a girl the manager was introducing everyone to me and she said this is "sam" and I said i will not be around her. Ever. So other than absolutely required i never interacted with her. Eventually my ex cheated bc i "was changing" when i was looking for religion.
Got over that relatively quickly and slowly started talking to her and eventually we went on a date to bdubs and we have been dating for almost 8 months now.
Trust your gut don't feed crushes. Ive been using that strategy my whole adult life in my prior marriage (also cheated but while i was deployed) anyway jesus loves everyone
Golden advice!!
A reporter set up an Ashley Madison account, went on "dates" with some of the guys, and asked them why they wanted to cheat. Most of the ones she met with said that they were happy with their relationship, didn't want to hurt their wife or get a divorce, but wanted something on the side. In other words, they did not respect their wife, the sanctity of marriage, or the concept of trust. All of those things were not more important to them than a fling. These were not men who saw a pretty lady across the street and would have been tempted had she solicited him, but men who planned on betraying their spouses and family.
What a preacher God has in this man ! Sin is real, and it is as horrible and painful as God says that it is.
@Scooter McScoots agreed but that doesn't make the sin right does it. It definitely does go both ways
Those men may love thier wives very much but are in the grips of oppression. In the end the same consequences of pain will result.
@@gwit247 If you want a marriage where you can see other people then be upfront about it and find a spouse who is ok with it. Open marriages are a thing.
@@SepherStar no I definitely do not. Not something I want to even go near. Sorry if that's what I was implying.
Glad I found this channel. Such sensible practical advice without the condemnation. I'm a protestant, but I have always felt much more kinship with Catholics. Not that I dont love my Protestant brothers and sisters in Christ, but I just feel that Catholics have a more relevant devotion to Christ.. I cant really explain. Anyway, thanks for this video.
That's the Holy Spirit calling you home
Awww, thanks. That comment was sweet.
Fr. Mike, I love that you aren't afraid and are willing to say the hard things. God bless you for standing up and speaking what is right and true.
Love is NOT an emotion, it is a choice and also a person, Jesus. Trust Him and He will show you love (Himself).
Love this one
It's easier than you think to get caught in a crush. Excellent advice...loved the "feed it" or "starve it" concept! Thanks Fr. Mike!
Thank you, Fr. Mike! This is incredible advice. not just for illicit crushes or sexual temptations but for other sins/temptations as well. It's so easy to fool ourselves into just "going along" as if we have no choice and it's just the "natural" thing to do, simply because this temptation is constantly on our mind or has become part of our daily routine. What we need is to break our routine and take action. We need to actively make the choice to "feed it" or "starve it", as you so aptly put it.
Mary Moser we all have self.control amd need to be in touch and use it day to day its all common sense
It's never "just a crush" ... learned the hard way.
Can't believe Jon Hamm was an undercover priest this whole time
Not joking, it’s weird that this video popped up in my feed today. Thank you, father Mike.
And that's what a lot of people forget. One can emotionally cheat on their wife too, not just physically.
And vice versa
Thank you Father. This video made me tear up because it's something I've already known but it's hard to follow through.
I've attempted to starve off this relationship and stop talking to this individual but every time I try I cry and go back.
Father Mike, we need you to give us your blessing after each of your videos! 🙏😇
Anyone seeing this comment like it if you agree!🤗
Thank you so much, Father Mike!!!!
I love the way you explained that there is no such thing as too drastic. Thank you for this perspective ❤️
This is a great video, it shows how we are all human, and succeptible to "crushes". It's whether we starve or feed a crush that's key! Walk away from one, is what God wants us to do. Don't jeapordize a commitment! And a family!
thank you father mike, hollywood usually pushes leaving the spouse or fiance for the crush because of believing that infatuation is the same as love or to be unfaithful once before taking those vows. im not married, but i have crushed on someone who is married and starved the crush as you out it and it worked. i respect marriage as a covenant with God. maybe that leak was a work of God through those hackers, the word is true when it says about what happens in the dark will be brought into the light. praise jesus.
jflores85 q
You can be attracted to another person at any time but it comes down to your commitment to the person you’re with and your moral character. Commitment is a much deeper love than the “attraction “ that we all feel in the beginning...it’s a great place to be!
The movie “coco” is a good example of how generations are affected by a spouse walking out
What Saint Francis de Sales might term "dangerous attachments."
Very wise advice. So much heartache could be prevented if more people made the decisions you suggest.
All of your videos are on point Fr. Mike. Thank you and others for making them!!
#askfrmike please do one on how to control anger! I love your videos; they bring me so much joy!
Excellent Fr Mike, God bless you.
What really makes this advice so accessible is the serious absence of condemnation. The hardest part is to say...wow it’s is ONLY a crush. I won’t be destroyed by this, but I’ll also respect it’s potential to. So, you can take the control of it. When we are so shamed usually for even having these attractions it isn’t a wonder why we want to deny and pretend they don’t exist! Funny that God would use this wonderfully handsome and shining light of a man and Father to show me this revelation! ;) thanks Fr Mike. Your work is appreciated !
I don't have a crush on Fr. Mike!!! LOL
Great video! Thank you!
+Rocio Meza i do
+SunnieUrieCarlile I do too!
hahahahahahaha
ohhh ladies. but you havent met me yet.and fyi im not a priest haha😁
God Bless you Fr. Mike. Thank you for this very sober advice on how to deal with temptations and our inclinations.
This is exactly what I needed right now.
#ASKFrMike .....Please PLEASE talk about how to forgive after a spouse's infidelity.. My closest friend is a practicing Catholic and I am worried that her 20 plus yr marriage may be done if she doesn't have the tools to find forgiveness and trust again-. AND I DON'T BLAME HER. btw her husband was on this list as well!! Thanks please respond Fr. I need to help somehow she is destroyed inside!
Great advice on an very important topic. But I think you missed one very important aspect. So many people will justify their affair by saying "Don't I have the right to be happy?" as if their happiness is more important than anything else, including commitments and family. I wish you had touched on this.
Divorce doesn't hurt a family like a cheating spouse does... (if the person could think about their family for a minute.)
Yes, this is exactly right. Sometimes, a crush is actually a symptom of a deeper issue within your heart or soul that actually may have nothing to do with your marriage.
Agree! Often it is born out of a childhood attachment trauma and they need to be loved or the need to love. Or it’s the chemical romance known as limerance which is common during the early stages of a relationship.
This is amazing father mike. Thank you for this video ❤️
#askfrmike Would you be so kind as to do a video for those of us who have been so jaded by bad relationship experiences that we have totally given up on looking for a romantic companion ? Thanks and God Bless.
Good 👍
I think he has one on being 'Alone'. I haven't watched it so I'm not sure. But I hope to encourage you to keep trying if you really want to create a family. I didn't meet my husband until I was 33. I just never settled for someone who wasn't spiritual, kind, etc. I was even prepared to accept being alone until years later I met my husband. I really hope this helps out. ÷)
G W There was never anyone I knew that had a lifelong solid (faithful) marriage. I never wanted to have a fractured marriage, so my solution was to avoid it altogether. I'm over 50 and alone. It took a bit of time to accept that, but I'm content now. It's about practicing gratitude; it helps you appreciate that your life is not as bad as you might think. Make the other parts of your life right and you'll be prepared for someone kind and loving to enter it. The key is appreciating that special someone's time with you; not how long it lasts. Marriage (in my personal experience) is just too great a demand for most people to handle.
Don't give up! I was in your shoes not too long ago. I read this book written by a Catholic couple called "How to find your soulmate without losing your soul". It was actually free! (you just have to pay shipping). Long story short, I had to become the person that my envisioned "perfect husband" would want as a wife. I used to be promiscuous and flirt a lot and date around a lot. I stopped all of that because I thought to myself, "ok, what kind of man do I want my husband to be? Am I being a woman worthy of that kind of man?" It completely changed everything and who I was attracting. When I stopped being this person who settled for anyone, the men that would approach me changed, because they could see I wasn't an easy woman. I focused on God and put my faith first. If someone didn't share my Catholic faith with me, I ended it. I also wrote letters to my future husband. Whenever I thought about going back to my old ways, I would write a letter to him, because I knew he was out there and that I just hadn't met him yet. Then, one day I met him and he was Catholic, but wasn't practicing, so I invited him to church and, because I believe God sent him to me, it was easy for him to come back. He saw my faith in God and how much I loved my church and he now tells everyone that I brought him back to God. He is also everything I've ever prayed for. When you're praying to God for someone, be specific, He'll come through for you on the smallest details!!! Don't give up. There's someone out there for everyone. :) (I hope this uplifted you a bit!)
Monica Martin your story just changed something in me! I feel like the penny dropped! I have the same book at home for years and I ever bothered to read it! My last relationship ended and I now realise that I wasn't being the person that I would want to be with. I am going to read this book now and I'm excited for the future now 😄🙏🏼
Hey!You go to my church!i go to a Latin church called saint Benedict’s.and me and my family saw you on the second row!you inspire me and my family so much!have a good day
Thank you Fr. Mike! Very informative. 😊👍🏽starve it! Got it!
Fantastic! I was afraid to make radical decisions for the better. Thank you so much.
I 'don't have a crush' on fr mike lol-ahh such a relief :)
Needed this so badly
Wow. I wish I’d heard this before I started dating and everything. Thanks Fr!
full blown atheist, nice channel. youre not going to convert me but im subbing, cant wait to see how you respond to some more complex issues and whatnot
Cyrus Lever did he convert you yet?
ProbablyPublic I think the chances of converting over the internet is highly unlikely, tbh. He probably didn't
Christopher, don't ever underestimate the Holy Spirit. He can and will use whatever medium He wants to! Even the the internet.
Nobody can, but divine intervention can.
Madgie Madgie Amen!
Great video. Way to speak to a challenge many people face but don't feel is acceptable to discuss, even in Catholic circles.
Thanks Father Mike, I am single but my crush, one way is not healthy. Thanks for helping me to see though the haze. God Bless.
#askfrmike Could you make a video on how to heal as an adult from being sexually abused as a child? especially when you never told anyone?
Thank you Father Schmitz.
Excellent video! Thank you for this!
Another great video, Father Mike!
#askfrmike what does "Do not awaken love until it's ready" mean?
thanks Father mike, that is something I needed to hear. Thanks for that explanation. Always love your videos, please keep up the good work. God be with you and all God's children.
I literally love all your videos Father ❤ thank you so much for all what you are doing, you can't imagine how your videos are blessing me 🥹🙏
I never looked at this matter on having crushes on others while you're already committed, and how it has to be addressed as Father Mike has just done it in the video. I am thankful with the way the Lord is using His Church teachings and his servants like Father Mike to help me grow in order to become who I'm called to be in Jesus Christ. Glory be to God the Father and the Son and Holy Spirit🙏🏽
Crushes don't always die if you starve them, Father Mike. I've cut almost all contact with my crush except for an occasional hello on Skype once a week, we were good friends but we drifted apart and we''re pretty much casual acquaintances at this point, but I still love her with all my heart and I feel like I can't find happiness without her.
Thnk u so much for this explanation. Usually I tell people that have a crush on me: dont spend your precious time with stupid people like me bc I dont change my mind about chastity. Even if I am atracted to smb, I stay away from them bc I dont want to be a temptation for that particular person.
"You can only connect to the degree that there are no secrets" so regardless, things are never hidden.
All thoughts, feelings and action must be carefully scrutinized to get as close as possible to the narrow path.
wise words, great analysis, God bless
#askfrmike Halloween season is coming. As a believer and a huge fan of scary movies I would love to hear your thoughts on horror and in which ways media does or does not affect us.
Third Position Googled him. I don’t think I am interested in listening to an anti-semetic.
@@aHeartLikeCandles Revelation 3:9
ButterBall 90120 May I kindly ask you to elaborate?
As much as I hate organized religion, I gotta admit if more priests were like this religion would have a much better position.
There are a lot of priests like this, it's just the rotten ones that make the news and get the attention unfortunately.
Have a nice day!
Zenith Wills most priests are like this... Its the media who shows the jerks.
And guess what. We dont like the jerks either.
Zenith Wills totally know what you mean. But also remember it's not the priest that makes the religion. If you think Fr. mike is a solid priest, maybe continue to look into WHY he's such a great priest, and see what role organized religion plays in that. 😃
Zenith Wills You're right. I don't agree with a lot of his points, but he's so personable that I still listen to him with genuine interest.
Zenith Wills
There is a priest (you can find him on RUclips) called Fr William Nicholas, who has a very different style, and who has very helpful talks.
I would be interested to hear what you think if you get a chance to listen also.
Thank you very much father :)
#askfrmike I am in desperate need of a video on how to get past anger, hate and try to forgive those that have done horrible things to me. I pray every morning for them and just when I think I am starting to heal they do something to try to ruin my name or try to find a way to break my heart even more. Please help! Thank you and God Bless
Stephanie
I-Man Bible Study Gandolph pray for them conintrate love not hate wipe it off .You are carring this around every day must be heavey .Jesus says my yoke is light .The people that have mistreated you are not carrying this around just you .forgive your self .forgive them pray for them and let it go .it gets easyer Remember there is a trash can that we can throw away things that hurt us .
Also if they keep hurting you u need new friends .my cousin lives a mile a way she has hurt me a lot.I dont talk to her at all .Its like a flame .If you put ur hand in fire you will be burnt .stop putting your hand in the fire
@@earthygardens4599 So true! I had to learn to let go of a few friends that were not good to be around and always end up hurting me for one reason or another...sometimes you just need to choose "YOU" first...
First off thank you. This was a much needed to hear message and your delivery went through a lot of my defenses to get me to think about my life. I think a lot of people just embrace their crushes destroying their other relationships for the sake of pursuing something new instead of fixing what they currently have. Second does that Hash tag still work?
I’m a woman who went to the Ashley Madison site to meet a guy. I’m single now, and at 65 yrs, it’s difficult to meet men. I met several good men and settled on one single gent. I’m happy.
Father do you believe in people actually having soul mates or twin flames or there is no such thing ? What do you do when you realize you are married to the wrong person not necessarily because you have a crush on someone else but because they don’t bring out the best out of you? please do video on relationships complications and how to deal with them. I love your videos .
I wish I could get personalized counseling from Father Mike.
Matthew 24:13 is the most underrated verse in all of Sacred Scripture
You know... I just don’t understand cheating or crushes. I don’t jump into relationships easily and when I do it’s because I really love the person. I’ve come across attractive men and I don’t feed into their charm or even notice them in that way. I become very serious with them and put up my walls. Like you said, I don’t feed into them. And trust me I can attract a lot of men, but that isn’t important to me. Maybe because I had parents who were committed and faithful to one another, that’s all I ever knew. And that’s what I want for my own future.
So excellent Fr!
I've been on it and it's full of people wanting to hook up, and a lot of married people. I deleted it after an hour, because it felt wrong being on a hookup app.
Man, I thought I was the only one in this boat. I’m so glad I’m not alone. Thank you, Jesus ❤️
Father Mike, thank you!! Thank you so much! These were the words from God himself, sent to me when I needed them.
He also stopped people who threw stones at other people. He never judged he had unconditional love ♥️
Wow...Feed it or starve it?!! Awesome... and... you have a crush..ok... no need to freak out! Lovely Father... God bless
I wish my ex husband were as wise as you. It was his cheating that was the straw that broke the camel’s back. He had broken every promise in our vows save ‘Until death do us part’, but when I found he was cheating too...I couldn’t go on. Sometimes the answer to your prayers is no.
Father is so brilliant and I wish I had had this teaching so many years ago. I wish that I would have had a spiritual leader as intelligent and forthright as him. I walked away from the church 35 years ago because they're teaching was often unrealistic and out of touch with real life. They have father Mike addresses real life issues carries weight and integrity. He simply makes sense and explaining ethics and human nature and how people need to operate to be good
Father , thank you for your words. Word of God always Sharp like a 2 side sword. May God bless you and God's peace always with you Father.
I like the way this is framed here, but sometimes a person is in an abusive relationship and the presentation of another possibility helps them out of it. I'm not sure things are quite as simple as the good father would have us believe.
I think that’s a different situation completely and I don’t think that’s what he’s talking about
Why can’t you move along a crush. I had one on someone, but then I heard that he was married. I didn’t take my distance because of it, but I also thought about him differently (more as friend, less as a possible partner.) you could lose an incredible friendship... and wouldn’t that be saddening?
You have a lot of wisdom here. As someone who works with internet offenders, I see people pretty-much enslaved to the cultural belief that decontextualised sex has no ramifications.
Thank you, this helped me a lot
Whenever I have a crush on a guy, I do my best to hide it from him. That works best for me.
Hi thanks Farther Mike, me and son love your video's and would like to ask, if maybe you could do a video on the ten commandments.
#askfrmike
This has been on my mind for a while, is cursing a sin? (AKA cussing or swearing)
Hi Thuan! Not sure if you ever received an answer, but what we should keep in mind is; does cussing/swearing bring us closer to God? If Jesus was next to you, would utter those cuss words? I know it’s counter cultural, but God is calling us all for a higher purpose and true holiness.
I think people don’t understand that love and commitment is a choice not a feeling.
#askfrmike i love your videos and would like to know how to convert to catholicism, i was raised baptist and i have been to other churches through the years and something has been missing and your videos have giving me hope
mondo tactical
Contact Bishop Markus Ramolla on the
Our Lady of Victory RUclips channel.
You need the traditional Catholic Faith and valid Sacraments from valid Bishops & Priests.
The Novus Ordo church is not the Catholic Church.
God bless.
Hi brother, that’s wonderful news. Find a local Catholic parish near you, and inquire about their RCIA program (Rite of Christian Initiation for Adults).
I thank my God through Jesus Christ for Fr. Mike, though I am protestant. The Lord has given him much wisdom.
Yes. Temptation is very real. Means we are human.
Thank you!!!
I started out looking for advice for my ex. Now 4 years later I am a Catholic
Wish I had seen this 4 years ago. Had an emotional affair and my husband divorced me. That one indiscretion ruined my marriage and my life. ☹️
Sin done in the dark will be brought to light 😢.
Honestly that "Ashley Madison Scandal" kinda went over my head.
When I read the thumbnail, I thought it's a speech about (christian) dating portals to find a partner for marriage and not about a website to cheat a partner.😅
Okay fr. Mike. I admit I'm not Catholic, but I'm watching your video and you're on point with what you're saying. Good on you. However I'm divorced and I'm not in a relationship. I had a " crush" on someone while i was married which i realize is sinful. I just realized I'm giving a confession. Lol. I realize and realized it was a a crush. But! What happened is this person that i had a crush on I knew nothing would ever happen and i ended up being made a fool of. Now, even after my divorce it has come full circle and he is with my friend. Lol. So lesson learned. And lesson learned well. And i probably won't have crushes like that again 🤣 have a great day father Mike. Keep on doing the good work.
#askfrmike Father, when is a confession truly valid, and how much does one have to plan their firm purpose of amendment to make it valid? (Personally, I feel contrite when I go to confession, and I do try and plan to work against the near occasions of sin, but I feel as if my plans are too broad or too vague)
#askfrmike Would you please make a video speaking to parents on how and when to approach difficult topics with their kids? I have 2 small ones and am concerned about them being exposed to things that go against the Church’s teachings, and not knowing to ask questions about it or creating this sense that such things are ok because they saw it on “X” cartoon or tv show or because “so and so” does it. Thank you.
It isn't that easy, Fr. Mike- telling someone who genuine loves someone other than their partner "it's just a crush, starve it" is going to be dismissive. You are right- they don't have permission to act on it and they owe their fidelity to their spouse. But permission or not, it isn't just a crush. Sometimes starvation is like oxygen to a fire.
+Mau Bell But that love is by it's very nature wrong if it is leading them away from their spouse. Regardless of what you call it, it has to be avoided at all costs if it is tempting a person away from their spouse, don't forget, a marriage is a covenant that is for life, regardless of whether one has feelings for another.
+Daniel Hamilton I didn't say otherwise, regarding the sacredness of marriage. I am saying that dismissing strong feelings in another person is a sure way to cause a lot of pain in the long run...you run the risk of them coming back to bite you, and hard. There are better, more emotionally mature, ways of handling these situations. Sometimes it involves totally disengaging from the person for the sake of marriage (I only recommend that when it's the only option), and sometimes honesty with the person and the spous(es) in question is best, and everyone reaches the best solution (this may be necessary in family/inter-spousal emotional affairs...you can't just walk out of their lives.) There are a wide range of solutions that are morally acceptable and do not involve violating one's marriage vows or accepting sin.
My boyfriend and I are considering marriage. If we marry, and down the road one of us develops feelings for someone else, we would tell the other. We would consider how to best go about it. We'd develop a game plan. We'd talk to a priest we trusted. We would NOT just dismiss the feelings and hope they go away- we'd WORK at it, even if those other feelings had to die a very painful death...whatever you want to call them.
When you’re a kid and find yourself with a crush, it lasts about a year or less. Devoting so much time to wondering what is going to happen to them, it could lead a teenager to idolatry of a celebrity which isn’t a good thing either or effectively creating a fandom out of everything you crush on today. In the 90s, the show Hey Arnold had the girl Helga devoted to making Arnold’s life a hell, but she secretly had a shrine to him in her room. There might have been a joke in there somewhere about spending your time with someone only to give them a hard time.
How about a crush when you're single