Cheryl Burke reveals she's never had a healthy adult relationship
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- Опубликовано: 22 авг 2024
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This clip from Breaking Traumatic Cycles with Cheryl Burke
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Narcissists are everywhere and these days it seems like everyone has at least one in their lives! Dr. Ramani Durvasula, a licensed clinical psychologist, will help you spot red flags and heal from the narcissist in your life. Every Thursday, we will hear first-hand accounts from people who know this territory the best, the survivors.
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Trust me Cheryl, you’re not alone on this one. I’ve never been in a healthy relationship either.
not sure I know of one either...
Same.
Same
Same
Same
I’m now single for several years. I can’t even count. The trauma is real.
Same
11 years 💙 it's rather peaceful
Same. Fortunately cuz i was conditioned to accept abuse as love. So yea.. it is lonely though after being single for 14 years.
Edit: Correction- 11 years not 14
Same
Absolutely
Sadly, It’s a very big club.
Lots of random members....
Huge
Yep!
Just because you choose singleness doesn't always mean you are the 'unhealthy' club. Many long-term relationships/marriages are privately dysfunctional/unhealthy.
U have a point there..
I'd say "most", not "many". It is the nature of relationships to be, at times at least, unhealthy. That's what motivates you to work out your sh!t.
@@charmingjinx9379I believe it.
Agreed. I’d venture to say that most are unhealthy unfortunately
Yep
This takes a ton of guts for her to admit this and yet, this will help countless women to know they are not alone. I bless her for sharing this. ❤
I’ve never been in a healthy relationship either
Narcissism is spiritual warfare
Narcs like to eat empaths for breakfast until the empath learn the ways of their mortal enemy....sounds logical ??😊😊😊
absolutely! Dr. Romney has said herself she doesn’t think narcissism should be classified as a personality disorder. Narcissism is not a personality disorder! It is a spiritual disorder!! And the longer they resist the light the more they see their conscience. And the Holy Spirit will no longer keep driving with them, because they block out all light and live in darkness and denial. I was married to a covert “Christian“ narcissist, and I think I literally saw him see his conscience. It’s very disturbing and devastatingly sad because I loved him his love for me was transactional, just like the Pharisees, and when he smear campaign to me and constantly shifted blame, it was the same persecution that Jesus received. This is why it says in the Bible that “they will crucify Christ all over again“, and Jesus said “when they hate you, remember, they hated me first.“ to empathize with someone is to see their truth, to hate someone is to deny and try to kill their spirit, which is what narcissist do, by choosing themselves instead of dying of themselves, they hate their brothers and sisters. They are wolves in sheep’s clothing, they are the swine you should not throw your vulnerable pearls to, because they trample them, and then attack you (shifting blame). They are the devouring wolves, they are the false teachers described in second Timothy, chapter 2 and 3, “ the kind that worm their way into household taking advantage of “weak” women, a.k.a. that probably means codependent. False teachers are known by their character, their rotten fruit. The Bible says you will know the believers by how they LOVE each other.
they call good evil, and evil good., The project, they are like the man who looks in the mirror… And then, when he walks away, he forgets who he is. That’s a narcissist. The Bible is about finding the way, about our sin nature, about our narcissism. Narcissism IS the sin, and definitely has to do with the leaven of the pharisees which Jesus warned us about.
unfortunately, just like warfare, you are never the same.
Now that we’re aware of narcissism, we need to learn how ppl attract them and how to be healthier and a better person who does not attract toxic dynamics. I hope to see more videos that focus on the people who attract narcs and how to stop.
We all attract all kinds of people. The issue is that we don’t spot the toxicity and red flags and we allow them into our lives. They should have been amongst the people that we ignored or rejected. We didn’t see them as the weirdo on the job or at the bar etc.,
@sylviaj270 it sounds like she's the problem. This stems from childhood trauma
It’s not just about attracting toxic dynamics. There is a ton of self work to be done as well. The person in the video seems ready to do it.
Start listening to our intuition .. I know hindsight is 20/20 .. But now take that knowledge and apply it to your next relationship...
With me there were feelings i had about him that told me i couldn't stay . but i shook it off each time .. Even after i left him i fell inlove with another man and had the very same feelings early on .. I had the right mind to ask a friend what they thought about his character from their standpoint with everything i just told them.. And she told me to leave him... I needed the clarity from her because i had realised there were things that were off about him but you know when you are under the influence your judgement cannot be trusted ... So now i'm happy single and healing. 😊😊
@@EllenPitts That’s what I noticed though. When people haven’t learned some lessons, don’t have healthy boundaries, etc.. is when they attract abusive types
Whoa. A woman was just chill and self accountable out loud. There is hope for her. Proud of you
I am So glad she said I have to get healthier.
My husband and I have been divorced before we met. We both were married to spouses with narcissistic tendencies. It's kinda the living proof that not all good men are mareied. They can get available. Ugh yeah, nobody wants a divorce, but I mean, it isn't hopeless to find a good person😊
That's very Encouraging for women who still want to get married.
You can tell from her essence, this is a REAL woman, a real lady, a real deal.
They always are biggest piece of cake narcs pry at. The better you are, the more authentic you are, the more you are prone to be victim of a narc
No its not authenticity but its your naivety that gets you hooked on to narc. They want people who are naive enough to be authentic to them but will not demand authencity in return and settle for bread crumbs of affection they throw. You got to be an empath or codependent to be okay with the crumbs.
If you are authentic and hard set on authenticity in return, and can distinguish the inauthenticity, you are of no use to the narc.
Me either and I’m 45 years old time flies and I waisted 31 years of dating on shifty abusive relationships thanks to my narcissistic mom and abuse I endured in my formative years. It makes me angry and sad to think about all I’ve endured!!
Im right there with you, Sis, Hugs and love sent 🙏💗🙏
I'm 42 and I feel your pain. Just keep working on yourself, there's hope for you and each one of us.❤ I'm working on myself and won't give up.
I completely get this whole statement! Exactly the same. Plus a whole lot nervous system dusorders. Migraines and fibromialgia etc..
Find someone who also had a difficult childhood but is working on themselves. They may not be perfect. Neither are you but if you BOTH are actively working to improve you can grow together
@@EllenPitts I don’t want to do that anymore. I am focusing on my healing and my healing alone. They have to be fully potenched and grounded. As well as have done their own healing work so when we do come together we are securely attached. I am okay being single and I love my solitude now. I enjoy my company and now tbh it’s hard and I think about all these things but most of my life I spent focused on finding love ❤️ instead of creating and giving it to me and that’s my focus. Loving me and being okay with myself is the key.
Definitely not alone ...
Stay single the world is a mess no morals or ethics and NO Respect
100% on point!
Double-Barrel Shotgun. It's much harder to see ourselves without intricate therapy like this. Dr. Ramani helps me get unstuck from my own inhibitions from my childhood traumas.
Before ppl can get help they need to recognize they need it and lose their pride to accept it. My x would not ,thats why he is the x.
Its all about that inner work.
Much love to this beautiful soul.
Cheryl looks great here. Sorry she’s going through a rough serious of hard lessons with men.
she's beautiful here and always
Yes, this is her best look.
Who is she?
I don’t think there’s hope to find a healthy man because there’s not many of them out there most of them already married, and stay married because they found a healthy partner
😂 lmao this mindset is toxic
Some of them are trapped with narcissistic women, I see it all the time. They have beaten them down to submission.
You can thank your fellow feministic, narcisstic females, females sleeping around who are making men "sick"...
Unfortunately, I think you're correct
There's plenty. Women don't want them because they're not perfect or rich.
Women tend to attract men like their fathers.
Be strong 💪 Cheryl You can do this! ❤
I don’t think i have never been with a man who deserved me
Same
Do you think you deserve you? You are choosing the men you entertain and commit to.
@@shalalala868 well before i understood the trauma my from childhood i was incapable of doing so. now i choose to be alone .
Exactly what we think at times lol
Thank you for sharing and I hope this will help others to walk away from toxic relationship.
I think this is why it’s good to talk about things because it makes you say things out loud and give you the realization of things that you’ve done wrong I need to work on
I don't have hope anymore after 40byrs narcs
I was not relationship healthy when I got married. I was not absolutely totally honest when I was going with who I married. So
This is the result of why I am where I'm at. He is every shade of narcissism and I was basically a sitting duck. We need to teach our daughters and sons the reality of life love marriage.
I love Cheryl Burke!!! Dancing With The Stars!!! Absolutely gorgeous lady!!!
do they exist? Jane Fonda says no more relationships and she's had the pick of the lot..
Cheryl probably has a lot of the same struggles that anyone in Hollywood has
and not just Hollywood
Men aren't healthy. It's your boundaries that enforce them to behave. But the majority of women do not have boundaries. Women have hope. Hope is the worst medicine for women to drink.
Wow i just wanted to say i appreciate your comment! The way you worded it was beautiful and very meaningful and helpful for me, thank you!
You know there are good men who find themselves with toxic women who don’t respect other people’s boundaries, including the boundaries of the man they are with?
Narcissism isn’t gender specific.
Having healthy boundaries applies to both as well.
wild assumptions about all men and most women
A womans boundaries does not make a man be better! A woman can have boundaries and still get played, she may not stick around to continue to get played but nevertheless the man is still not a good man once she leaves!! To put the behaviours of men off on women is crazy! That's just like saying a man cheated cause the woman did or didn't do XYZ
What happened in her childhood that she learned a pattern of unhealthy relationships, because that's where you can find the root cause, or contributing example... whether it was through abuse, or just not having witnessed a healthy dynamic between her parents, there's something else that went on there, when a pattern is involved...
You look beautiful #CherylBurke ‼️
I stopped watching TV, lost touch with the shows I had watched a few years ago.
I'm WAY too familiar with Dr. Ramani. I'm sure she'll be a great team member to your getting healthy!
❤ You'll get there! It takes work, but yeah you will be just fine in yourself and for any great man as well. Good luxk
I had one healthy relationship when I was 19 years old for 2 yrs. We broke up because I had to move out of town, and an LDR was not possible. I'm 56 yrs old now. I'm wriggling out of a 15-year narc abuse relationship now. I don't know that I'll ever be in another relationship. 😥💔
the world is sick.
I wish this video went another hour...Im in same position.
The sad thing is that there are a lot of broken men out there that hide behind facades. I knew a few guys (as friends) who were successful, charming and really looked like they had their lives together. Since I knew them as friends they showed their true selves. Great guys (respectful, kind, responsible and ambitious) but so insecure, just a lot of childhood issues that they’ve never dealt with. This stays hidden until marriage because these issues eventually re-surface in the form of cheating (their desperate need for validation), or working too much and thus an absent spouse/father etc
Been single 2 + years now. Never had healthy relationship either. I keep on working through my trauma it’s lot to unpack. I will say this when you love yourself can follow through with setting boundaries you will be ok.
She is nervous, but doing great, so great
Agreed we need to get healthy!! If we r with them or not..
Same. I’ve been in 3 long term relationships that was very toxic. I don’t even want a relationship anymore.
Same here. Hang in there ladies❤
Not alone in this one.
I’m rooting for you Cheryl!!!
Again, very wise guidance.
I haven’t either all was broken just like I was but you got to heal before you move to the next one so you don’t repeat the same mistake again 😊
I have hope that I will eventually experience a healthy relationship!🙌
Yesss you will with that beautiful mindset!!! I'm so excited for you!!!
Not worth the agitation. Syay single, love your community ❤️
I NEVER BEEN MARRIED, YET SURVIVED THE WORST KIND OF ABUSE IN MY LATTER YEARS, I HAVE BEEN GROWING AND NOW HOW TO AVOID TOXIC BEHAVIOR, WHICH IS NOT HEALTY.
Camryn’s solo was so powerful and breathtaking, makes me miss being in the studio
I finally got really lucky & was happily married for 22 years. You can do it!
I’m currently healing and healed from certain things finding my strength and letting God do the work! Finding it’s not just them men but why we chose them… childhood issue from siblings life experience and our parents
If you're a woman or man who hasn't been in a single healthy relationship, please like this comment. I'll start with me, never been in a healthy relationship. I'd be curious to know how many others struggle with this. ❤
God's way is the right way.. its a relationship with Jesus christ first.. he will set you free and be able to have the wisdom and discernment in your new conversion ❤
I just love Dr. Ramani
Is being broken up and completely going your separate ways for 10+ years, then getting back together really considered an on/off relationship??
The real question for me is, why would someone go back to someone knowing good and well they’re no good for them?
It’s an act of desperation imo. It doesn’t matter if it’s after 10 or 20 years. You have no idea what kind of grudges one of you is harboring for the other because one of you decided to leave the other, yet one of them always seems to get suckered back in, after they failed with every other person in the mean time.
I’m just speaking facts.
Yes, we all gotta change those unhealthy patterns. 🎉🎉
That took courage, Cheryl. Have to commend you for that and wish you well because I absolutely believe you will experience a healthy, loving relationship. As someone just a bit ahead of you on that journey I want you to know: it’s amazing…👌
How sad. I’m glad she’s taking steps to become aware and find happiness.
Dang, I'm sorry for her. Sounds like most of us.
A healthy relationship, consist of taking accountability, knowing you both can be in the wrong. Helping eachother grow. You both have to want to make it work. Take your time to get to know a person before you date them. I promise if you take it slow, things will grow. It'll be easier to take accountability, it will be easier to compromise, It will be easier to be best friends and then lovers. Build the foundation. You will then find that love can blossom, and then you can see how beautiful life can be with a partner. Creating that intimacy, strength, and safety of being vulnerable with another human. Because you took the time. Patience, accountability, and compromise, reflecting. I feel blessed to have this. And I hope I can help at least one person along the way, to find true love and happiness. Sending so much love and hope to all of you. Love is easy if you both try. Don't take things so personal. Take the advice. And grow♡♡♡♡
This is my story too! On and off then married after a reunion, then divorced shortly after. Similar patterns!
I can relate. 6 years on and off with broken promises of commitment. Really want to stay away this time.
Damn these childhood wounds of mine, anxiety, depression, and feelings of inadequacy.
I CAN DEFINITELY RELATE.
But why is it even important to be in a relationship? I am in my 60s and never married, not even a boyfriend. It works well for me. I think people pressure themselves into thinking they MUST be in a relationship or have one somewhere down the line. I think more people need to focus not only on their own health but on service to the community.
Love Dr Ramani ❤
Thanks for supporting us!
How can you be in a healthy relationship? Who is healthy after all? We've all been raised in broken families, from broken people. We just repeat the cycle.
just because she is single after divorce doesn't mean she is unhealthy why is she condemning herself?
Join the club! I’m here to! I support you 💯!
Healing is the first thing you have to work on. Don't question anything you did, forgive yourself and that person. What I to stop my mental torture is grieve the lost since it was my mother. I do not want anyone with me that doesn't have my best interest. I'm talking of obviously close and supposedly relationship. Sorry for all who have suffered
A year ago I realized the same thing. I got a therapist. It's changed my whole life.
I got a therapist and she said to run away as fast as i can...i did. Men are lovely, just don't live with them ❤
@@cyndiemilholland2471 in my experience, men are less than lovely. But the right one is irresistible.
Yeah she has to get herself healthy or at least a healthy foundation and able to set boundaries
She's working on this, you can tell. She's aware of her patterns.
I’ve never been in a healthy relationship ever. I’m 60 now been separated for 4 years. I’m completely done with relationships it’s all about me now.
Run 🏃♀️ 🏃♀️ 🏃♀️ 🏃♀️ 🏃♀️ guys.
I read this on "How To Recognize a Narcissist".
Early on, when with a group of people say "we are so much better than these people". If they answer "yes", it's time to move along. Doc, do you agree with this?? I do!!
Sames
Keep looking and be opened to build together
So... you are awakened... introspect... really introspect.... grow... become self sourcung... then live through the heart with the shield of values standards and boundaries...
... enjoy then what the universe brings....
Hope helps...
Shes so pretty
Right there with ya 🙋♀️
Public comment. Message to all those break up. It is important to reflect on your self worth and peace of mind. Pure and Devine taught and actions will help to heal by practicing playing and doing meditation. It is also important to ficus on education and health and wellness. Progressive thinking gives Positive results base on how you procieve life in words and taught and deeds. Serving the purpose in life.
Thank you ❤❤❤❤❤❤
I have never had a healthy relationship, haven't even had one.. and feel it and aware. And has fucked me up a bit ngl.. but realisimg has helped
she won't answer a question directly, seems to need control in this conversation, yep, she not healthy
Seems full of self-importance, she somebody famous or something?
Perpetually single here too!! 🤦♀️
I haven't either and I'm in my 60s.Repeated patterns my entire adult life.I feel I've progressed in my mental and emotional health now but it feels too late😮
Same here and I'm 60. At this point I'm content with being single the rest of my life. I've had to work so hard on myself my entire adult life. And the last thing I want to spend my energy on is working on a relationship with a man. My 3 cats are very satisfying cuddle babies🐈🐈🐈
At least shes honest - if defensive. Good luck building what you want
Where is the full version
Yup, in the club too
Never met anyone flawless enough to have a healthy relationship tbh. It’s either been ghosting, cheating or workaholics for me
Same 💔
You know how bad it is when you can't even MENTION the other person by name. 😮
Me either. Its not us, its them
Thats me ! Too late 😮 70.years old now
I have never had a healthy relationship all my relationships were toxic and not all of it was their problem it was my problem but I am a recovering alcoholic and addict so but I've been clean and sober so so I get Cheryl😊🎉 and I'm talking about me in this
Where do you view whole video
Why be in a relationship. Just date and have fun...
People want a relationship so they can have someone to count on, someone who has their back, someone to share their life with, someone who really genuinely cares about them, someone they can share their life with. To just date and have fun is a very shallow life. It won't bring lasting joy. Wait til they're in their older years... they'll be so lonely, if they live that long.
Someone close to me is a narcissistic it is very stressful❤