I showed this to my 12 year old autistic daughter today after someone putting it on tiktok. She burst into tears after, saying that's exactly what it is like mummy. If only every adult that works with children watched it maybe they would understand more.
Not really, just they don't have as structured a curriculum and are under less pressure, so they will be a lot more chill than a math or history teacher, on average at least.
@@Zavitor fro my personal experience i've managed to confide better with my art teacher and media studies compared to my english teacher or history just as an example
My art teacher was happy to have me come into her room, I ended up having one year with mostly art classes and even being allowed to be there during study hall She had a side room that she let us stay in, as long as we listened to the lesson at the beginning our small group was able to head back to the little room to work It didn’t help that most people that took art just wanted to mess around so it was to get away from everyone being so loud
This video made me cry... I'm 47 now. Was autistic during a time when it wasn't accepted. I was forced to appear normal or the threat of being put into that "special" school and made fun of for being "retarded" was there. I was called a bully, I was put into the corner often for my voice being too loud, and my nose was broken by a lunch teacher throwing a ball into my face because he told everyone to hush and I didn't hear him. I could never make friends or ones that lasted. I can hear every noise all at once and it is hard to decipher just one out. So so many painful memories of school and life. I was exceptionally good at art! It got me through tough times. But the tough times were part of the reason why I chose to homeschool my own kids. I didn't know I was autistic at ALL until they were born. I just thought I must be worthless and stupid, and just couldn't succeed in the world like everyone else. My kids taught me about autism and that there was hope to be just me and there was NOTHING wrong with me and now I was also loved! A lot of healing has taken place.
I was told that I could be in the spectrum, and I'm in my 30s. I went through the special educational system only I went to a "nomal" school duing primary back in the 90s that had a special system
In most places it is still not accepted unfortunately. Getting people to know what autism is is one thing, changing the fabric of society so that it starts welcoming diversity is another thing altogether.
But you know, you shouldn't have to have a diagnosis to feel like you belong in this world. Truthfully I had a similar experience growing up and I think it's the product of a society where people hate each other and we don't give children an ounce of respect until they are 30 and have a 401k
Gotta say, the thing with the eyes and the black and white rippling effect is spot on. I feel like everyone’s eyes are on me if I show too much of frustrations or of overstimulation that I could be experiencing. Edit: Over 600 likes?! TF? I didn’t expect THIS much recognition from strangers on the internet!😂 Edit 2: over 1k?! H E H ? !
I'm not the most creative and I'd have difficulty expressing what and how I feel and the experience of something like that. But if given a list of choices, that one would very much be high up there. They've nailed it pretty well.
You should express how you feel and not let others suppress you. "Will you pay attention" is something you say to someone your not actually engaging with. My response? "Will you say something actual meaningful to me? Will you ENGAGE with me?" No? I just have to listen and hope I'm following along? Then no. I'm not actually going to feel bad about disregarding their very rude and selfish command. This comes off as a kid who does not have any personal power or agency in spaces they desperately desire. And the weird part? Displacing the source of power from the individuals consciousness and mind to that of some "foreign element" such as being "autistic" exacerbates that entire scenario. "Oh great. autism is why I feel this way." Instead of "oh these people don't care to see me for what I am and want me to be like they desire." Built into the logic is that the individual is "wrong" or "different" and well. Sure EVERYONE is different in little ways, but autism label is used to identify ways of being that "normal" people don't want. But what is "normal" changes with culture and power dynamics of interpersonal exchange. Basically people with power want others to conform and use labels of othering in order to cause the subject to internalize their differences and see them as the cause of their personal pain and emotional discomfort instead of a lack intrinsically in the structure.
@@larkohiya ... sorry I kind of lost track of what you were trying to say there. Can you summarise the three main points for us? Also there's probably a certificate out there with your name on it as well, though I'm not 100% which one at this point.
@@larkohiya I got caught off-guard by the second section: in that section, are you insinuating that autism doesn't exist? Cause if that is what you're purporting, then you're incorrect. I myself am diagnosed with autism, and that's why I created the original comment. Essentially the only reason why people with autism (or autistic people, however you phrase it) act this way is that these are uncomfortable environments for us, insinuated by the flashing light ripples and the several instances of eyes staring at the character. We certainly can't help it, and if we've learned anything, it's that forcing people to conform (with neurodivergent people, it's called "masking") would only cause harm to them, and wouldn't help to prepare for further situations down the line. If you DIDN'T purport that autism is not really a thing, then I suggest re-wording your reply a bit. It was a bit confusing. :/
As an autistic person myself, I can confirm my days at public school were tough too. I also have misophonia too, as certain sounds and even songs would make me angry or sad, and I'd even cry. Kids bullied me about it ever since kindergarten, and for most of the years I got bullied about Baby Shark, and kids would sing it when I was near, and wait for me to start crying. I started virtual school bc of that.
As someone on the autism spectrum, I can relate. Apparently, autism is something to laugh about according to society. But the truth is, living with autism is very hard. You're sensitive to noise, you have unusual habits and you feel as though people are silently judging you. There's a myriad of things that trouble autistic people.
Yeah it's silly to ignore people's experiences. I'm not autistic but I had some issues with everyday school life. I remember after my first day of school thinking: "This is gonna suck." And I was right. Especially art classes gave me really bad emotions. I almost had an existential crisis one time where i had to design a coat of arms. I just couldn't figure out how authentic I was allowed to be or even could be. It took me about three times as long compared to most of my classmates. EDIT: I just wanted to add the reason I shared this story. It is that I always heard people say that art was way too easy and getting good grades was a given. For me that never was the case.
Just pointing out that not ALL autistic people are sensitive to noise. Everyone's different. But I agree, this is a relatable video no matter how you present.
Very very true teachers are like “be urself” then when I am some Karen teachers yell at me for no reason it’s hard to be autistic sometimes and for some reason society blamed autistic people because were different it’s kinda fucked up
Not autistic, just a noise-sensitive gal. Your depiction of a sensory overload is amazing. I always find it to be so hard to put into words and visuals, yet you were able to show the pain clearly. Thank you so much for making this film.
I am also sensitive to noises. As an adult I've found ways to cope with the amount of noise in the world out there, but it can still sometimes get to me sometimes. If someone slams something really loudly near me and I'm not aware I jump so hard lol.
This was painful to watch, reminding me of school life. Everything always being SOO LOUD. That feeling that EVERYONE is watching every little thing I do. Not being able to "pay attention" because im so drained from this CONSTANT stress. Being bullied by classmates AND adults. Nobody helping when I didnt know what to do, just telling me to figure it out myself or fail. I feel like im gonna start crying remembering all this. I'm never going back to school, I have my Highschool diploma. I'm not going through the torture EVER again!
or getting the old TRY HARDER, like that would totally make us learn things better. The idea that simply putting even more effort into something will totally make it easier.
If you feel that way, it might be something to look into. If learning about masking is helping you, there may be other benefits to learning about autism if in fact you do have autism or even if you just have some autistic traits. I didn’t think I was autistic because I can look people in the eye and I’m creative. But once I started learning more I realized I am most likely autistic and found a bunch of ways to better take care of myself.
I’d also like to add that a lot of concepts created for neurodivergent people apply to neurotypical people: you may not have the level of compulsions of someone with OCD but we can all relate to an extent to patterns of behavior that just feel right even if they don’t make sense. Masking is something that we all do as part of interacting with other people: we unconsciously choose which parts of us we want to display as the situation demands it. I hope you can gain insight from the neurodivergent community whether or not you share our diagnoses.
Masking is a common behavior for many types of people, it’s just particularly prevalent with autistic people because of how differently we process information. It can be rough
I always hated it when my science teacher made everyone look directly in his eyes I’m so happy I graduated. Summers are always great and time away from people.
@@alainapristine3305Lol my drama teacher would say that 💀 it feels so goofy, everytime I look at someone’s forehead I would just start laughing and they’d be confused
i am maybe will come across as the wierd one, but what helps me most, instead of looking at eyes, i imagine i paint the face of the one talk with, i notice all the complexities of the face, paying attention to the shading, look and face planes.
As an almost-39-year-old man on the Autistic Spectrum, I found this creepily relatable. As a kid through my teenage years, I had to pretend I wasn't bothered by noises and other people just didn't understand, or try to. They ridiculed and excluded me for being "different".
in the first years of the middle school I went to, we whzre allowed to listen to music. a new head master came and we weren't allowed anymore. ( that head master was a karen. ) a therapist in my therapy group however asked me if I wanted her to ask permission for me to listen to music at school. ( I declined 'cause I thought it wouldn't be fair for the others to be able to listen to music while they can't. )
@@httspSomeoneonline0894com no, it's still the school. it's the art class. it's probably colorful because she feel safe enough not to mask and that it's a calm place.
How did this not get more online traffic?! This is incredibly resonating and I can't fathom explaining into words what I felt when Maria broke. I always had to be sent to the office every school year until highschool as an undiagnosed autist. When she was soothing herself with her hair I immediately imagined the touch on my palms and fingers.
im a girl with autism and adhd and this is exactly what its like. especially when everyone in class just wont stop screaming..i had to send myself out of class and just draw in the hallways by myself a lot
That is unbelievable! This depicts the all too familiar tale so well of the barriers that exist for autistic people and the strengths we are overlooking. Absolutely brilliant Arran!
This really hurt to watch because it is incredibly accurate to what i experienced in school. Only difference is that I was pretty bad at masking and had meltdowns in front of the class a lot which honselt just made things way way worse. School was traumatising and I don't think I will ever fully recover, even though I'm in a better place now.
I was great at masking. But of course I could still basically feel everyone watching me, judging every single little thing I did and every reaction I had to anything. But when I turned around there was nothing there, just blank faces looking ahead.
I know how you feel. I am a woman with a learning disability and autistic tendencies, and it was hard to concentrate in classes sometimes. Math class was the worst for me in middle school. I sat in the front of the class because it was hard for me to hear in the back; I had some study aids during Jr. high, but the loud noises were like leeches sucking my concentration and serenity out of me. I had some meltdowns in there the most. My math teacher was sadistic and downbeat. However, after graduating, I'm free and have less anxiety than I had back in school.
School is terrible for autistic people (in my experience at least). It feels like everyone else comprehends some sort of behavioral guideline you don't, like you missed the "how to be normal" class and everyone else figured it out. Add to that the turbulent social space of people figuring out how to healthily interact with each other and the increasing difficulty of the work and it feels like they're just tapping you over and over waiting for you to crack. Even in special ed spaces it felt like everyone just felt bad for/about me and didn't see me the same as other students; either I was too behind my neurotypical peers or "high functioning" compared to other special ed students. Unfortunately there's a lot of room between perfectly or entirely dysfunctional in a classroom and for some reason our education system only understands the extreme ends of either.
This hit me really hard. This is what it feels like for me as an autistic woman. When I was growing, my condition was practically unknown and people would look at me like I’m weird when I brought it up. I would try to act “normal” in places like school and public places, I had to be coached and the biggest comforts to me was my family, my art and my music. Now I’m 32 and I’ve embraced who I am and don’t see it as a hindrance but as a different perspective that very few can see
I’m watching a lot of videos about autism to understand my autistic boyfriend better. Just watching the black and white lines stressed me out so much and I think I understand better why going outside is so stressful for the person I love. This video is exactly what I was looking for. Thank you.
The screaming and crying in your head as you force a smile and force your limbs to stay still and not stim and force yourself to try and listen to words you can't really hear or make any sense of as all the noises build into a cacophony and scratches like claws over your skin and the lights burn your eyes and you can't get a proper breath in and you want to run but you can't
The way that you represented auditory sensory overload is incredible. I also listened to music as a little girl to help me cope, as well as making art and poetry to help me express the overwhelming and painful emotions. Thank you so much for this exceptional representation and the beautifully simple message of care and accommodation at the end.
I don’t say this in most places, but I will here. I used to go by Maria, it’s not my name anymore, but it’s what I was legally called when I was in school, and this was exactly how I felt. I was alone for two years, no friends, 10th and 11th grade was horrible, and I didn’t even have the comfort of art class because the teacher hated me for not painting “the way everyone does”. I listened to her a lot, asked her if I was doing things right, and always went out of my way to add my own special touch at the end, but she hated it. I had no one, and when I was diagnosed with autism very recently, a lot was explained. My tics started to make sense, the noises I made, everything, and I hate how alone I was. I didn’t have supportive parents, I didn’t have friends, I was lonely and the toxic internet was my only reference of being social, and I got bullied on the internet too. So I had no one. Thank you for making this, I wish I saw this two years ago, this is such a relatable video. Love, Az.
@heyyo966 Thank you, things are worse in their own ways, but there are some things that are better. I'm a little sick atm haha, but hopefully I'll heal up and have enough braincells to start my portfolio. Thank you for your words.
It's so heartbreaking to realize I've kept all these feelings in, seeing the character have such a realistic cry was pretty sobering too, especially with the build up before it all. There's so many autistic adults who have no idea how truly repressed they are, me being one of them. I know it's just a cartoon, but she's so brave for allowing herself the vulnerability to cry... Amazing little short!
I’m not autistic. But I was born with sensory issues. Lots of students hate me for that. And that’s when I get anxiety. This video explains everything.
Speaking from someone who is on the spectrum myself, this.. this is almost *too* accurate. Every time I make a mistake or trip I feel as if all eyes are on me, as if I've made an irreparable mistake, as if I myself am a mistake. The masking bit is also spot on, in the outside world I have to act like a completely different person and this mimics that perfectly Amazing film :D
I'm 33 y/o but the part where she breaks down made me cry with her. I see so much of my youth (and present) reflected in this so accurately. You nailed how auditory sensory overload feels/sounds I think.
This video is beautiful. Such an accurate and relatable depiction of autism. I love the use in colors alongside other pieces of symbolism. This is a masterpiece.
I have flashbacks from elementary school. In third grade, I could just went crying and screaming. The teacher always locked the door, so I wouldn't run away, and then I sat in the room in the back, waiting for my parents to pick me up after school. It was awful. Even after I started taking medicines, I had no friends and just spent the breaks reading books. It was during high school that I finally managed to make friends.
I have Asperger’s myself and this is actually very relatable, it’s very hard, overwhelming, and tiring to keep a mask on all day just to make others feel comfortable. This sometimes happens to the point where we forget about our self’s and are so focused on fitting in.
Man, I masked so hard I can't cry or feel sad nearly as easily as I used to anymore. I'm also very shut off and disconnected from everyone it feels, even today when I socially exert myself and make my voice more audible on the first go... I guess even people who are outward about themselves more so than others also deal with this stuff... A shame no one validated me at that age, and never stepped in to help, but that part of my life is gone now sadly... Hopefully all goes better for our current generation, but I somehow doubt it'll get any better any time soon, maybe a lot of collective efforts locally all across the world could help, but who knows.
i feel this, im pretty sure i don’t have autism (might have adhd? wish i could get tested) and regardless, in pre-k to grade 1/2, i was a very empathetic kid to the point of wanting to cry when i saw someone else crying, and cried easily myself. 2nd grade teacher however, saw this as stupid and babylike as did the rest of my classmates when we got older, and now im so instinctively walled from the “bad” part of my emotions i don’t feel nearly as much empathy, and struggle to let go when i need to. school sucks
I had a particularly bad case of Autism combined with other things and it has absolutely annihilated my empathy. It happened so suddenly I didn’t even realise until it was too late
Ugh, the noises as ripples crowding the screen and then the mask breaking and her crying right after is so spot on. So often things just get so overwhelming and I meltdown. Amazing depiction of what it's like to mask so much. It's good that she has something enjoyable to do that helps her recover.
1) I’m autistic.❤️ 2) This video is very heartwarming and I related to it a lot. I do masking too and I always feel like people are judging me.😞 3) Maria is adorable and I love her awesome blue hair!💙 near the end of the video in the art room, she was stroking her hair as stimming and I do that too! I like touching my hair to help me calm down. I love how she was stimming her hands while drawing before the bell rang because she was excited that she made a masterpiece. 4) 0:33 I have sensitive ears too. I didn’t like how the bell rang because I don’t like certain loud noises. (Motorcycles, babies crying, sirens,gun shots, yelling) 5) She’s artistic too! Art is the best thing ever! 😆🎨 I love how she’s colorful and the neurotypical students are black and white.
Public education is probably one of the most traumatizing things ever created. The only reason I would never have a child is because I would never want my child to suffer through the hell that is public education. And I wouldn't have time the time to afford home schooling too. Screw public education. What a hellhole.
In a world that prioritized genuine autistic narratives and perspectives this would have more views than the frequent allistic (non-autistic) content constantly pushed out. "Well meaning" or not. As an autistic I like how there isnt an allistic savior - just people interacting with an autistic protagonist in demonstrably right and wrong ways. I also like seeing a meltdown be portrayed so sympathetically. Great job on illustrating sensory/social overload.
makes me so glad i'm finished with school and working from home. the eyes are such an accurate representation of what it feels like, and the video also shows just how damn loud the world is. so being able to avoid that is a great relief.
I cried so much because everyday i want to cry unitl i cant anmore, but people just dont leave you alone to cry. They just have to ask if you are ok and wont leave you alone. One reason why i hate school. You are literally never alone so you have to hold it all in until u are at home, and sometimes you cant even cry then. Its just you always holding in your emotions until you cant anymore. Ive broken down in school too many times because the stress just got too.. stressful. What makes it even worse is that i have nobody but the internet to share how i feel, so im not truely sharing anything because nobody knows me. Life is just hell, i want out.
As an autistic person my self life is like that, you do one thing wrong and it feels like everyone is looking at you and judging and you end up locking your real self away for the outside world because your afraid of being a distributor or people will judge you more a lot of us just bottle this up and release all this at home but for some of us we crack and have meltdown or just end up crying.
This hits painfully close to home, but considering how difficult it is to explain these experiences to others it's IMPORTANT that it's painful. Had this been made any other way the whole message would've been either ruined or lost.
Masking is so exhausting especially because the people in my class make fun of me for covering my ears even though they always talk so loud and its so exhausting
While I myself have never masked, this is damn relatable. I used to wear headphones to school events when I was younger, and this almost depicts what my day was like back then. This should deserve a million views!
As someone with social anxiety i feel this. The teachers who accommodate you and make school less hellish you will remember into adulthood! Mr. Gustafson I still haven't forgotten you letting me come after class to do my presentations and I'm 30 now XD
I cried to this. I find this relatable. I can easily get distracted/overstimulated, and i get judged for it. I often calm myself down with music or art. So it is quite realatable. And it made me realize that I am not alone. :)
As an autistic person I related to this so much. My whole life I've had struggles i didn't know i was masking, all I knew was I felt uncomfortable and overstimulated for years. Wasn't until recently that I got a late diagnosis at 18 but I'm thankful I was able to get it. This video was very relatable from start to finish, the getting stuck into art and being in my own world then making vent art when feeling overwhelmed and scared is all too real. Also lol love how she was drawing final fantasy characters sephiroth and cloud strife, I love them myself.
This was really well done and relatable as fuck. The screaming really hit me in the feels and her crying was well acted. It made me feel as if the voice actress was really crying because she went through this sort of thing in school. I also went through this in school so I know how Maria feels in this video all too well.
I really like that the rippling effect and overstimulated noise continues as soon as she is not being actively yelled at. So accurate because you would think it would stop for a moment, right? My parents and general cultural osmosis tell me that once i have my little "outburst", and once I've gotten the "attention" i wanted, it should stop for at least a moment. But it doesn't stop.
Autism does kinda feel like the auditory equivalent of not being able to focus. Even when I try to pay attention to something sudden noises can just make themselves the focus in an obnoxious way. The feeling of not wanting people to notice you really gets drilled in through school. I have had problems with saying abrupt interjections or struggling to hide emotions when I'm uncomfortable. Hell, I struggle to verbally answer questions as much as I'd like because I feel bad about it, like I'm taking away others' opportunity to contribute and that I come off as overly enthusiastic.
The noise overstimulation/ sensory overload was too Real. That's exactly how I feel. It gets so bad that I start banging my head on the wall and then when I became numb , I cry out of sheer hopelessness. When I used to bang my head ( I have stopped btw) ,my siblings would call me a witch. Like those witches in horror movies. I just hate everyone.
I have to say, this randomly got recommended to me today and the animation is amazing. I didn't realize that I was just staring at myself the entire time.
Wow, I’m autistic myself and I can really relate to this. Middle school was terrible, especially seventh grade when I just felt overwhelmed everyday. Even with the smallest bits of conversation and sound, I often tend to have a hard time focusing. Great animated short, nicely done.
As someone with ADHD, Autism Spectrum (Autism Masking too!), Anxiety, Depression, this honestly did make me tear up. I can relate so much in this video, I remember when I tried masking myself to "fit in", it wasn't just that, it was mainly because I was afraid, When everyone knew I was Autistic after they knew I went to Special Ed, it gave me, idk, an mental error trying to mask myself, and it messed me up so bad that i hurt a few people with my words. I recently though, dropped the mask because what I saw was it hurting people, The Loud Noises, The People staring after the Girl got in trouble or scolded for, the Whispering, that i can so much relate to. It's Terrifying to me and People kept calling me a retard, and what people described me when i was my little character, my mask. "A Retard or A Dummy with NO common sense". Not only was it hurting people, it was hurting me. I got tired playing an act and decided to be me and try to slowly gain others respect, and it has been working a bit sense, do i accidentally mask myself, yes because I was so used to it for years. I even started to hate smiling because of my yellowish white teeth, and when i was nervous, angry, or sad in sometimes inappropriate times, I smiled unintentionally to the point i sometimes get in trouble, so I just bit the back of my bottom lips to hold my smile. I tend to keep everything personal to me though, that includes my symptoms and I usually don't talk about this at all but seeing this, and reading the comments. I'm so glad I ain't the only one even though i also know everyone has a different experience than others including myself 😅
such a cute style! this is very accurate. today I had a meltdown and it felt like days/months/years of accumulated anxiety just exploded out of my body. I'm doing better now, and this video helped me remember there are others who go through the same, and I'll be ok.
social phobia + autism = pure suffering. Now I have PTSD and an autoimmune disorder to hide, too. Also, the school system just plain sucks. Its so traumatizing but esp for disabled and neurodivergent kids. John Lennon once wrote a song called "working class hero" that sums it up well: "They hurt you at home, and they hit you at school. They hate you if you're clever, and they despise a fool. Till you're so fucking crazy, you can't follow their rules." Teachers often do little to curb bullying (which disabled/ND kids are more likely to have) and pile on more work than we can handle, and then act baffled when we can't function. The wounds you get in high and elementary school are ones that you can spend the rest of your life trying to heal from. It shouldn't be that way.
I have a few classes at my school with a student who’s autistic, i think he’s higher on the spectrum, and this helps me understand him a bit more. One day in gym, he didn’t know where to stand/sit, and the teacher instead of answering just kept responding with “where do you think you sit?” The kid was pretty obviously struggling and felt a lot of pressure, and a lot of us tried to make him as comfortable as possible, there was even some other kid who said “hey Mr. (Insert his name), you know he has aut-“ only for him to be cut off by “oh i know.” It was awful to watch.
Literally every single moment of this is relatable to me. I was diagnosed with autism a bit more than a year ago, and boy it explained so much. The part with the sound waves going through the air and peoples heads being eyes especially hit hard, with the sound waves it's almost as if I can feel them through my entire body, and if I stim or even start feeling a bit upset in school it feels like everyone is watching, even if they are clearly not. By the end, I truly feel like crying. Thank you for this, I truly feel heard, it's nice to know that I'm not alone ❤
As an autistic girl myself this made me tear up a bit as you perfectly animated what it's like. Especially when showing what sensory overload was like. I would dissociate heavily throughout the school day or just about anywhere because it was so stressful and I view socialization as a play and which I'm the actor and if I or anyone else went off script then it would be overwhelming. Even when I tried my best to mask sometimes the mask will slip and thanks to those slip ups I was bullied and targeted for being a 'spaz' or a 'retard' (Though I was gifted) and to a point I believed what everyone said about me was true and I hate myself for being autistic and I wish to have a normal brain because my autism to me at least is more disabling than it is a 'super power' but at the same time it's shaped me into the person I am. I just wish life wasn't so overwhelming to the point it's crippling to even do basic things. I know everyone's life is stressful but when you're neurodivergent and/or have a mental illness (es) the stress jut hits you so much worse depending on how it effects you.
The emphasis on the whispering/lip sounds was so well made, I wanted to rip my headphones off. I felt the sound crawling up my back and it made me want to scratch at the nape of my neck because it was like a horrible itch. Which, honestly, is how it felt for me in person whenever i could hear *anyone* in the room talking. The way it annoyed me to an irrational degree, to the point of physical discomfort that I couldn’t really do anything about. TL;DR: whispering sounds were very upsetting, really captures the IRL feel.
This film reminds me so much of myself in 7th grade (I’m going into 8th) just trying to act normal and like everyone. I would get random jitters in science class because of my suppressed stims and I felt like all the girls were looking at me. And I hated that music wasn’t allowed in that class because it helped me so much
I am in shock. My entire childhood I was unaware of my autism, making school life extremely difficult. I didn't know how to explain it, and I just thought it was normal or that there was something wrong with me. It wasn't until I was around 15-16 until I asked my mom to get me tested, after relating a little too much to autistic rep. I still don't truly know how much of what I do is an "autistic thing", and how much of me is me, but I'm slowly trying to accept that all of me is autistic, not just bits and pieces. The eyes and the sound consuming her surroundings were spot on too, reminding me of all those dreadful moments in class where I would just scream in my head over and over again until I would stopped being stared at. I barely made it out of highschool before going out of my way to graduate early, just to get out since no matter what school I went to, I would always get a low grade. I managed to pass it extremely easily, faster than the others which shocked me and my family. I'm nowhere near finished on my journey of loving and accepting myself but watching stuff like this certainly makes me feel more whole. Knowing I'm not broken, I just work differently. Your artwork truly touched my heart, and I hope you continue to create.
You have no idea how accurate this is to autism. I struggle every day with it. I can't stop watching this because its exactly what I face. You are amazing at sharing the message us Autists need.
I really relate to this whole thing, with the damn school bell, the little sounds drowning out crucial information and overwhelming Maria’s mind, and the end with how listening to music helped her feel more comfortable. But I don’t believe I’m on the autism spectrum. Can you mask if you have generalized anxiety disorder and/or synesthesia? /genq
Masking is a social term that’s used for people pretending to be okay when they’re not. All people mask something at some point in their lives, but when you have mental illness, there’s a fear of rejection and ostracizing that makes masking a bit more prominent as it happens more frequently. Anyone (and probably everyone) will relate to masking. In regards to sensory sensitivity, that can also happen and is a facet of multiple mental illnesses, generalized anxiety disorder being one. Also sometimes, it’s not all sounds (Maria liked music as you saw) but it can be certain sounds. I don’t like the sound of horns or thunder, but I’m okay with alarms (cause I can rationalize it’s a drill even if it’s irritating). I have autism and I can’t stand multiple people talking. I can only listen to one person at a time. (Talking in a group with multiple groups was the worst in school). Different sounds cause people to react differently. You don’t have to be on the autism spectrum to have sound sensitivity, that might just be how your anxiety is manifesting.
I am not autistic but have moderate ADHD and anxiety, and I can struggle with sensory input. When I was in high school, one distracting input was the sensation of a tucked-in shirt. I would try and "smooth" all the wrinkles and shove them into the valley in my back where my spine is, to try and lessen the sensation. Or I would wear the "uniform" fleeces a couple sizes too large and just not tuck in my shirt. Sounds are also distracting and can be overwhelming to me, as well as the sensation of being too hot. Add enough unpleasant inputs together and I melt down, dissociate (to avoid meltdown), or most often remove myself from the situation. I still struggle with it almost a decade after high school, but at least I can pick my own clothes now.
I love how the song title is "Outro". Anyway- I relate to this, a lot. I never had the resources nor knowledge to be diagnosed. I've taken screening tests (online but they've been claimed to be used to diagnose) and looked talked to others about it in the community. Many agree that it is highly likely, and i hope to get a diagnosis so i better understand myself and have answers. I've been learning to unmask in adulthood, especially when I'm alone. I find comfort in letting myself stim freely (shaking my hand, whistling, have become my most frequent and i love it, they make me feel like myself). I tried desperately to fit in during school. So so hard, but to no avail. I found comfort in some teachers. But nothing would solve how disconnected i felt when it came to students. I always felt like i had no one i could rely on. I was easy to spread lies about, because everyone knew i wouldn't stand up for myself. And when i did i lost a majority of my friends. I try to be better at that now. But i still easily feel left out. And it's painful and frustrating. I hate being so dependent and wanting so much of others time. I don't have many real friends now, and i honestly miss some that I've lost. So much where I'd dream about being friends again with one in particular. Im certain no one will read this in full but that's fine, i just need to put my thoughts on this all somewhere. I wish i knew this sooner. That i got help for the things i suspect i am and have. So i didn't struggle so much in classes, so my senior year didn't have to be so difficult, so i would maybe be less frustrated in myself. I know this is just me saying whatever comes to mind. I'm sorry there isn't any real rhyme or reason to this. It's just easier for me. But anyway, if anyone read to this point- thank you for reading my thoughts. I don't have many to share them with.
I can't remember almost anything from the 12 years I spent in school. Even high school, which I graduated in 2022. My therapist says that's a coping mechanism that my brain created to deal with my trauma. I think I have some kind of PTSD, because I tried to do an administration course at the beginning of 2023 and I quit after two weeks.
as someone autistic who goes through situations like this It's nice to see that I'm not the only one to whom these things happen It's just that I felt so identified with this and tears came to my eyes hahaha beautiful animation I love it
I know right I don't have autism but this was still really sweet. And also random thing don't you just love how poofy Maria's hair is, when she strokes her hands through her hair it bounces, and I just really like that detail for some reason.
Thankfully i went to school with quiet kids. Sure all the yelling when they played was ear grating but thats normal. Large groups with conversations.... It sounded Like bubbling grease. I never felt paranoid as i just ignored everything. Always daydreaming
I showed this to my 12 year old autistic daughter today after someone putting it on tiktok. She burst into tears after, saying that's exactly what it is like mummy. If only every adult that works with children watched it maybe they would understand more.
That's great of you, we love supportive parents!!
I stay away from social media. Never really caught on since I was a kid
why would you show this to your daughter if this was going to be her reaction to it.
@@foxpro3002 there are sad tears, and then tears of relief and feeling understood and heard. It was the second one..
@@foxpro3002i cried at this too. its the feeling of being understood, knowing others get how you feel. its a relief to not be alone. thats why
just proves that art teachers tend to be the only ones who understand or care
Not really, just they don't have as structured a curriculum and are under less pressure, so they will be a lot more chill than a math or history teacher, on average at least.
@@Zavitor fro my personal experience i've managed to confide better with my art teacher and media studies compared to my english teacher or history just as an example
My art teacher was happy to have me come into her room, I ended up having one year with mostly art classes and even being allowed to be there during study hall
She had a side room that she let us stay in, as long as we listened to the lesson at the beginning our small group was able to head back to the little room to work
It didn’t help that most people that took art just wanted to mess around so it was to get away from everyone being so loud
For me my art teachers were just as horrible as the rest. It was mostly my english teachers that were the nice ones
My current nicest teachers are probably my music, religion, and biology teachers
This video made me cry... I'm 47 now. Was autistic during a time when it wasn't accepted. I was forced to appear normal or the threat of being put into that "special" school and made fun of for being "retarded" was there. I was called a bully, I was put into the corner often for my voice being too loud, and my nose was broken by a lunch teacher throwing a ball into my face because he told everyone to hush and I didn't hear him. I could never make friends or ones that lasted. I can hear every noise all at once and it is hard to decipher just one out. So so many painful memories of school and life. I was exceptionally good at art! It got me through tough times. But the tough times were part of the reason why I chose to homeschool my own kids. I didn't know I was autistic at ALL until they were born. I just thought I must be worthless and stupid, and just couldn't succeed in the world like everyone else. My kids taught me about autism and that there was hope to be just me and there was NOTHING wrong with me and now I was also loved! A lot of healing has taken place.
I was told that I could be in the spectrum, and I'm in my 30s. I went through the special educational system only I went to a "nomal" school duing primary back in the 90s that had a special system
In most places it is still not accepted unfortunately. Getting people to know what autism is is one thing, changing the fabric of society so that it starts welcoming diversity is another thing altogether.
This is a very sweet comment, as an autistic teenager I’m sorry you had to go through it.
But you know, you shouldn't have to have a diagnosis to feel like you belong in this world. Truthfully I had a similar experience growing up and I think it's the product of a society where people hate each other and we don't give children an ounce of respect until they are 30 and have a 401k
@@vacafuegayeah it may be accepted in the US but not as compared to other countries
Gotta say, the thing with the eyes and the black and white rippling effect is spot on. I feel like everyone’s eyes are on me if I show too much of frustrations or of overstimulation that I could be experiencing.
Edit: Over 600 likes?! TF? I didn’t expect THIS much recognition from strangers on the internet!😂
Edit 2: over 1k?! H E H ? !
Most kids, once they hit Middle School or High School commonly feel this way. Some as early as 6th Grade.
I'm not the most creative and I'd have difficulty expressing what and how I feel and the experience of something like that. But if given a list of choices, that one would very much be high up there. They've nailed it pretty well.
You should express how you feel and not let others suppress you. "Will you pay attention" is something you say to someone your not actually engaging with. My response? "Will you say something actual meaningful to me? Will you ENGAGE with me?" No? I just have to listen and hope I'm following along? Then no. I'm not actually going to feel bad about disregarding their very rude and selfish command.
This comes off as a kid who does not have any personal power or agency in spaces they desperately desire. And the weird part? Displacing the source of power from the individuals consciousness and mind to that of some "foreign element" such as being "autistic" exacerbates that entire scenario. "Oh great. autism is why I feel this way." Instead of "oh these people don't care to see me for what I am and want me to be like they desire."
Built into the logic is that the individual is "wrong" or "different" and well. Sure EVERYONE is different in little ways, but autism label is used to identify ways of being that "normal" people don't want. But what is "normal" changes with culture and power dynamics of interpersonal exchange. Basically people with power want others to conform and use labels of othering in order to cause the subject to internalize their differences and see them as the cause of their personal pain and emotional discomfort instead of a lack intrinsically in the structure.
@@larkohiya ... sorry I kind of lost track of what you were trying to say there. Can you summarise the three main points for us?
Also there's probably a certificate out there with your name on it as well, though I'm not 100% which one at this point.
@@larkohiya I got caught off-guard by the second section: in that section, are you insinuating that autism doesn't exist? Cause if that is what you're purporting, then you're incorrect. I myself am diagnosed with autism, and that's why I created the original comment. Essentially the only reason why people with autism (or autistic people, however you phrase it) act this way is that these are uncomfortable environments for us, insinuated by the flashing light ripples and the several instances of eyes staring at the character. We certainly can't help it, and if we've learned anything, it's that forcing people to conform (with neurodivergent people, it's called "masking") would only cause harm to them, and wouldn't help to prepare for further situations down the line.
If you DIDN'T purport that autism is not really a thing, then I suggest re-wording your reply a bit. It was a bit confusing. :/
As an autistic person myself, I can confirm my days at public school were tough too. I also have misophonia too, as certain sounds and even songs would make me angry or sad, and I'd even cry. Kids bullied me about it ever since kindergarten, and for most of the years I got bullied about Baby Shark, and kids would sing it when I was near, and wait for me to start crying. I started virtual school bc of that.
Certain songs make me go crazy! I have to be very careful what kind of music I listen to. Didn't know there was a name for that condition 😢
I feel really bad for you. 😟You can wear headphones or
earplugs when the people around you are too loud. Maybe that'll help.
@@miathealien3911 I do. I have earbuds and play whitenoise so I cannot hear my trigger sounds.
@@ThatMelonGirl Then I'm glad👍
I wish that was an option for me in high school
As someone on the autism spectrum, I can relate. Apparently, autism is something to laugh about according to society. But the truth is, living with autism is very hard. You're sensitive to noise, you have unusual habits and you feel as though people are silently judging you. There's a myriad of things that trouble autistic people.
hell naw bruh
Yeah it's silly to ignore people's experiences. I'm not autistic but I had some issues with everyday school life. I remember after my first day of school thinking: "This is gonna suck." And I was right. Especially art classes gave me really bad emotions. I almost had an existential crisis one time where i had to design a coat of arms. I just couldn't figure out how authentic I was allowed to be or even could be. It took me about three times as long compared to most of my classmates.
EDIT: I just wanted to add the reason I shared this story. It is that I always heard people say that art was way too easy and getting good grades was a given. For me that never was the case.
I ain readin al at@@LibraryofAcousticMagic3240
Just pointing out that not ALL autistic people are sensitive to noise. Everyone's different. But I agree, this is a relatable video no matter how you present.
Very very true teachers are like “be urself” then when I am some Karen teachers yell at me for no reason it’s hard to be autistic sometimes and for some reason society blamed autistic people because were different it’s kinda fucked up
Not autistic, just a noise-sensitive gal. Your depiction of a sensory overload is amazing. I always find it to be so hard to put into words and visuals, yet you were able to show the pain clearly. Thank you so much for making this film.
Same here for me.
I am also sensitive to noises. As an adult I've found ways to cope with the amount of noise in the world out there, but it can still sometimes get to me sometimes. If someone slams something really loudly near me and I'm not aware I jump so hard lol.
@@moonfiend9259 what are some of your coping methods? My main methods are meditation and acceptance.
Sensory overload is just another way of saying panic attack but Autism. It's nothing special, It's just a different from of a panic attack. :|
Ikr? Though usually it doesn't bother me too much. But casinos on the other hand... 😣
I don't have autism but man the scene where she broke down had me very close to tearing up :(
true.
Maybe chu a empath. 😶
This was painful to watch, reminding me of school life.
Everything always being SOO LOUD. That feeling that EVERYONE is watching every little thing I do. Not being able to "pay attention" because im so drained from this CONSTANT stress.
Being bullied by classmates AND adults. Nobody helping when I didnt know what to do, just telling me to figure it out myself or fail.
I feel like im gonna start crying remembering all this.
I'm never going back to school, I have my Highschool diploma.
I'm not going through the torture EVER again!
Honestly same....
Never have I realized how stupid my actions looked until much after I graduated..and I felt like I made a big fool of myself
or getting the old TRY HARDER, like that would totally make us learn things better. The idea that simply putting even more effort into something will totally make it easier.
Got trolled hard
I’m pretty sure I’m not autistic but ever since I learned about masking everything in my life started making more sense.
If you feel that way, it might be something to look into. If learning about masking is helping you, there may be other benefits to learning about autism if in fact you do have autism or even if you just have some autistic traits.
I didn’t think I was autistic because I can look people in the eye and I’m creative. But once I started learning more I realized I am most likely autistic and found a bunch of ways to better take care of myself.
I’d also like to add that a lot of concepts created for neurodivergent people apply to neurotypical people: you may not have the level of compulsions of someone with OCD but we can all relate to an extent to patterns of behavior that just feel right even if they don’t make sense. Masking is something that we all do as part of interacting with other people: we unconsciously choose which parts of us we want to display as the situation demands it. I hope you can gain insight from the neurodivergent community whether or not you share our diagnoses.
Masking is a common behavior for many types of people, it’s just particularly prevalent with autistic people because of how differently we process information.
It can be rough
Everyone masks. The difference between neurotypical masking and autistic masking is survival.
@@gigahorse1475 autistic people aren't the only ones who mask tho
I always hated it when my science teacher made everyone look directly in his eyes I’m so happy I graduated. Summers are always great and time away from people.
Have you tried looking directly at someone’s forehead?
@@alainapristine3305Lol my drama teacher would say that 💀 it feels so goofy, everytime I look at someone’s forehead I would just start laughing and they’d be confused
i am maybe will come across as the wierd one, but what helps me most, instead of looking at eyes, i imagine i paint the face of the one talk with, i notice all the complexities of the face, paying attention to the shading, look and face planes.
@@PlaystationMan-e3p that’s creative!
What I hated the most from school was peepee inspection day
As an almost-39-year-old man on the Autistic Spectrum, I found this creepily relatable. As a kid through my teenage years, I had to pretend I wasn't bothered by noises and other people just didn't understand, or try to. They ridiculed and excluded me for being "different".
thats Charles Jericho from driver sf 💀💀
The most unrealistic part of this short is that the school allowed her to listen to music.
REAL
In my school they allow it,But only when you finish the work and use headphones/earbuds etc...
in the first years of the middle school I went to, we whzre allowed to listen to music. a new head master came and we weren't allowed anymore. ( that head master was a karen. ) a therapist in my therapy group however asked me if I wanted her to ask permission for me to listen to music at school. ( I declined 'cause I thought it wouldn't be fair for the others to be able to listen to music while they can't. )
@@httspSomeoneonline0894com no, it's still the school. it's the art class. it's probably colorful because she feel safe enough not to mask and that it's a calm place.
@@a_little_demon Ooh! i was wondering that, thanks for telling!
How did this not get more online traffic?! This is incredibly resonating and I can't fathom explaining into words what I felt when Maria broke. I always had to be sent to the office every school year until highschool as an undiagnosed autist. When she was soothing herself with her hair I immediately imagined the touch on my palms and fingers.
Same! I end up fiddling with my own hair sometimes, especially if I get a bit nervous.
im a girl with autism and adhd and this is exactly what its like. especially when everyone in class just wont stop screaming..i had to send myself out of class and just draw in the hallways by myself a lot
I love the detail that when everything is black and white inside the classrooms, the world outside, the trees, sky and grass is still in color 💚
That is unbelievable! This depicts the all too familiar tale so well of the barriers that exist for autistic people and the strengths we are overlooking. Absolutely brilliant Arran!
This really hurt to watch because it is incredibly accurate to what i experienced in school. Only difference is that I was pretty bad at masking and had meltdowns in front of the class a lot which honselt just made things way way worse. School was traumatising and I don't think I will ever fully recover, even though I'm in a better place now.
I know what you mean. Sucks to hear it happened to you too.
I was great at masking. But of course I could still basically feel everyone watching me, judging every single little thing I did and every reaction I had to anything. But when I turned around there was nothing there, just blank faces looking ahead.
I know how you feel. I am a woman with a learning disability and autistic tendencies, and it was hard to concentrate in classes sometimes. Math class was the worst for me in middle school. I sat in the front of the class because it was hard for me to hear in the back; I had some study aids during Jr. high, but the loud noises were like leeches sucking my concentration and serenity out of me. I had some meltdowns in there the most. My math teacher was sadistic and downbeat. However, after graduating, I'm free and have less anxiety than I had back in school.
School is terrible for autistic people (in my experience at least). It feels like everyone else comprehends some sort of behavioral guideline you don't, like you missed the "how to be normal" class and everyone else figured it out. Add to that the turbulent social space of people figuring out how to healthily interact with each other and the increasing difficulty of the work and it feels like they're just tapping you over and over waiting for you to crack. Even in special ed spaces it felt like everyone just felt bad for/about me and didn't see me the same as other students; either I was too behind my neurotypical peers or "high functioning" compared to other special ed students. Unfortunately there's a lot of room between perfectly or entirely dysfunctional in a classroom and for some reason our education system only understands the extreme ends of either.
me myself an autistic this is annoyingly true. society has pressured us, especially autistic women to hide their beautiful differences.
What about autistic men?
@@MalkoElzaroNoceda1526 I don’t downgrade them as well, they have there own struggles but society is naturally harder on women
@@seatherny_y that’s understandable
Almost forgot, I’m also autistic well more of an asd
@@MalkoElzaroNoceda1526 I see
This hit me really hard. This is what it feels like for me as an autistic woman. When I was growing, my condition was practically unknown and people would look at me like I’m weird when I brought it up. I would try to act “normal” in places like school and public places, I had to be coached and the biggest comforts to me was my family, my art and my music. Now I’m 32 and I’ve embraced who I am and don’t see it as a hindrance but as a different perspective that very few can see
This deserves soooo many views, the part where she screamed and brokedown hit way too close to home for me😔💗
I’m watching a lot of videos about autism to understand my autistic boyfriend better. Just watching the black and white lines stressed me out so much and I think I understand better why going outside is so stressful for the person I love. This video is exactly what I was looking for. Thank you.
The screaming and crying in your head as you force a smile and force your limbs to stay still and not stim and force yourself to try and listen to words you can't really hear or make any sense of as all the noises build into a cacophony and scratches like claws over your skin and the lights burn your eyes and you can't get a proper breath in and you want to run but you can't
The way that you represented auditory sensory overload is incredible. I also listened to music as a little girl to help me cope, as well as making art and poetry to help me express the overwhelming and painful emotions. Thank you so much for this exceptional representation and the beautifully simple message of care and accommodation at the end.
I don’t say this in most places, but I will here.
I used to go by Maria, it’s not my name anymore, but it’s what I was legally called when I was in school, and this was exactly how I felt. I was alone for two years, no friends, 10th and 11th grade was horrible, and I didn’t even have the comfort of art class because the teacher hated me for not painting “the way everyone does”. I listened to her a lot, asked her if I was doing things right, and always went out of my way to add my own special touch at the end, but she hated it.
I had no one, and when I was diagnosed with autism very recently, a lot was explained. My tics started to make sense, the noises I made, everything, and I hate how alone I was. I didn’t have supportive parents, I didn’t have friends, I was lonely and the toxic internet was my only reference of being social, and I got bullied on the internet too. So I had no one.
Thank you for making this, I wish I saw this two years ago, this is such a relatable video.
Love, Az.
I hope things are or will get get better for you.
@heyyo966 Thank you, things are worse in their own ways, but there are some things that are better. I'm a little sick atm haha, but hopefully I'll heal up and have enough braincells to start my portfolio. Thank you for your words.
People are going to use your old legal name against you. Don't use it on the internet and protect yourself, that's basic internet safety.
@@zuazzI hope things get better soon and that you're able to get everything set up, best of luck^^
It's so heartbreaking to realize I've kept all these feelings in, seeing the character have such a realistic cry was pretty sobering too, especially with the build up before it all.
There's so many autistic adults who have no idea how truly repressed they are, me being one of them. I know it's just a cartoon, but she's so brave for allowing herself the vulnerability to cry...
Amazing little short!
I’m not autistic. But I was born with sensory issues. Lots of students hate me for that. And that’s when I get anxiety. This video explains everything.
Simply beautiful, as an autistic person this represented my everyday life.
Speaking from someone who is on the spectrum myself, this.. this is almost *too* accurate.
Every time I make a mistake or trip I feel as if all eyes are on me, as if I've made an irreparable mistake, as if I myself am a mistake.
The masking bit is also spot on, in the outside world I have to act like a completely different person and this mimics that perfectly
Amazing film :D
I'm 33 y/o but the part where she breaks down made me cry with her. I see so much of my youth (and present) reflected in this so accurately. You nailed how auditory sensory overload feels/sounds I think.
The crying was really well done! It made want to cry too, thats how genuine it felt
This video is beautiful. Such an accurate and relatable depiction of autism. I love the use in colors alongside other pieces of symbolism. This is a masterpiece.
This short felt too real. Especially those scenes with all of the noise, and her breakdown. Thank you for making this.
I have flashbacks from elementary school. In third grade, I could just went crying and screaming. The teacher always locked the door, so I wouldn't run away, and then I sat in the room in the back, waiting for my parents to pick me up after school. It was awful. Even after I started taking medicines, I had no friends and just spent the breaks reading books. It was during high school that I finally managed to make friends.
I have Asperger’s myself and this is actually very relatable, it’s very hard, overwhelming, and tiring to keep a mask on all day just to make others feel comfortable. This sometimes happens to the point where we forget about our self’s and are so focused on fitting in.
Her crying is so fucking raw bro.
damn, the use of colors and symbolism is ON POINT. I love it, also, pretty relatable.
Man, I masked so hard I can't cry or feel sad nearly as easily as I used to anymore. I'm also very shut off and disconnected from everyone it feels, even today when I socially exert myself and make my voice more audible on the first go... I guess even people who are outward about themselves more so than others also deal with this stuff... A shame no one validated me at that age, and never stepped in to help, but that part of my life is gone now sadly... Hopefully all goes better for our current generation, but I somehow doubt it'll get any better any time soon, maybe a lot of collective efforts locally all across the world could help, but who knows.
i feel this, im pretty sure i don’t have autism (might have adhd? wish i could get tested) and regardless, in pre-k to grade 1/2, i was a very empathetic kid to the point of wanting to cry when i saw someone else crying, and cried easily myself. 2nd grade teacher however, saw this as stupid and babylike as did the rest of my classmates when we got older, and now im so instinctively walled from the “bad” part of my emotions i don’t feel nearly as much empathy, and struggle to let go when i need to. school sucks
I had a particularly bad case of Autism combined with other things and it has absolutely annihilated my empathy. It happened so suddenly I didn’t even realise until it was too late
Ugh, the noises as ripples crowding the screen and then the mask breaking and her crying right after is so spot on. So often things just get so overwhelming and I meltdown. Amazing depiction of what it's like to mask so much. It's good that she has something enjoyable to do that helps her recover.
1) I’m autistic.❤️
2) This video is very heartwarming and I related to it a lot. I do masking too and I always feel like people are judging me.😞
3) Maria is adorable and I love her awesome blue hair!💙 near the end of the video in the art room, she was stroking her hair as stimming and I do that too! I like touching my hair to help me calm down. I love how she was stimming her hands while drawing before the bell rang because she was excited that she made a masterpiece.
4) 0:33 I have sensitive ears too. I didn’t like how the bell rang because I don’t like certain loud noises. (Motorcycles, babies crying, sirens,gun shots, yelling)
5) She’s artistic too! Art is the best thing ever! 😆🎨 I love how she’s colorful and the neurotypical students are black and white.
Public education is probably one of the most traumatizing things ever created. The only reason I would never have a child is because I would never want my child to suffer through the hell that is public education. And I wouldn't have time the time to afford home schooling too. Screw public education. What a hellhole.
I felt physically uncomfortable from how close this hit to home, and im not even autistic
In a world that prioritized genuine autistic narratives and perspectives this would have more views than the frequent allistic (non-autistic) content constantly pushed out. "Well meaning" or not.
As an autistic I like how there isnt an allistic savior - just people interacting with an autistic protagonist in demonstrably right and wrong ways.
I also like seeing a meltdown be portrayed so sympathetically. Great job on illustrating sensory/social overload.
makes me so glad i'm finished with school and working from home. the eyes are such an accurate representation of what it feels like, and the video also shows just how damn loud the world is. so being able to avoid that is a great relief.
I cried so much because everyday i want to cry unitl i cant anmore, but people just dont leave you alone to cry. They just have to ask if you are ok and wont leave you alone. One reason why i hate school. You are literally never alone so you have to hold it all in until u are at home, and sometimes you cant even cry then. Its just you always holding in your emotions until you cant anymore. Ive broken down in school too many times because the stress just got too.. stressful. What makes it even worse is that i have nobody but the internet to share how i feel, so im not truely sharing anything because nobody knows me. Life is just hell, i want out.
As an autistic person my self life is like that, you do one thing wrong and it feels like everyone is looking at you and judging and you end up locking your real self away for the outside world because your afraid of being a distributor or people will judge you more a lot of us just bottle this up and release all this at home but for some of us we crack and have meltdown or just end up crying.
This hits painfully close to home, but considering how difficult it is to explain these experiences to others it's IMPORTANT that it's painful. Had this been made any other way the whole message would've been either ruined or lost.
Masking is so exhausting especially because the people in my class make fun of me for covering my ears even though they always talk so loud and its so exhausting
Nice work Aran! A few of us sat around and watched this and were gobsmacked at how well done this is. You are a true talent x
All I had to do was spell your name correctly and I couldn't do that!
While I myself have never masked, this is damn relatable. I used to wear headphones to school events when I was younger, and this almost depicts what my day was like back then. This should deserve a million views!
As someone with social anxiety i feel this. The teachers who accommodate you and make school less hellish you will remember into adulthood! Mr. Gustafson I still haven't forgotten you letting me come after class to do my presentations and I'm 30 now XD
13yo autistic girl here. this made me cry. thank you.
same
as an audhd teen struggling through high school this hit me so hard i physically felt this thank you for making this
I cried to this. I find this relatable. I can easily get distracted/overstimulated, and i get judged for it. I often calm myself down with music or art. So it is quite realatable. And it made me realize that I am not alone. :)
As an autistic person I related to this so much. My whole life I've had struggles i didn't know i was masking, all I knew was I felt uncomfortable and overstimulated for years. Wasn't until recently that I got a late diagnosis at 18 but I'm thankful I was able to get it. This video was very relatable from start to finish, the getting stuck into art and being in my own world then making vent art when feeling overwhelmed and scared is all too real. Also lol love how she was drawing final fantasy characters sephiroth and cloud strife, I love them myself.
This was really well done and relatable as fuck. The screaming really hit me in the feels and her crying was well acted. It made me feel as if the voice actress was really crying because she went through this sort of thing in school. I also went through this in school so I know how Maria feels in this video all too well.
Beneath The Mask, Dire Dire Docks and Stickerbrush Symphony in the playlist? Girl's got good taste.
I really like that the rippling effect and overstimulated noise continues as soon as she is not being actively yelled at. So accurate because you would think it would stop for a moment, right? My parents and general cultural osmosis tell me that once i have my little "outburst", and once I've gotten the "attention" i wanted, it should stop for at least a moment. But it doesn't stop.
Autism does kinda feel like the auditory equivalent of not being able to focus. Even when I try to pay attention to something sudden noises can just make themselves the focus in an obnoxious way. The feeling of not wanting people to notice you really gets drilled in through school. I have had problems with saying abrupt interjections or struggling to hide emotions when I'm uncomfortable. Hell, I struggle to verbally answer questions as much as I'd like because I feel bad about it, like I'm taking away others' opportunity to contribute and that I come off as overly enthusiastic.
this is exactly how i feel too, especially as a woman who constantly was told I was "doing it for attention" growing up
The noise overstimulation/ sensory overload was too Real. That's exactly how I feel. It gets so bad that I start banging my head on the wall and then when I became numb , I cry out of sheer hopelessness.
When I used to bang my head ( I have stopped btw) ,my siblings would call me a witch. Like those witches in horror movies.
I just hate everyone.
The depictions of the over stimulation were accurate, it really can feel how that looked.
Is it just me who finds her hand flapping cute?
This is a lot more relatable than I thought it would be. It's not overly exaggerated either. Good job!
I have to say, this randomly got recommended to me today and the animation is amazing. I didn't realize that I was just staring at myself the entire time.
Wow, I’m autistic myself and I can really relate to this. Middle school was terrible, especially seventh grade when I just felt overwhelmed everyday. Even with the smallest bits of conversation and sound, I often tend to have a hard time focusing. Great animated short, nicely done.
Seventh grade was a fucking nightmare. It was the worst part of my life
@@emilybrooke_x same
As someone with ADHD, Autism Spectrum (Autism Masking too!), Anxiety, Depression, this honestly did make me tear up. I can relate so much in this video, I remember when I tried masking myself to "fit in", it wasn't just that, it was mainly because I was afraid, When everyone knew I was Autistic after they knew I went to Special Ed, it gave me, idk, an mental error trying to mask myself, and it messed me up so bad that i hurt a few people with my words. I recently though, dropped the mask because what I saw was it hurting people, The Loud Noises, The People staring after the Girl got in trouble or scolded for, the Whispering, that i can so much relate to. It's Terrifying to me and People kept calling me a retard, and what people described me when i was my little character, my mask. "A Retard or A Dummy with NO common sense". Not only was it hurting people, it was hurting me. I got tired playing an act and decided to be me and try to slowly gain others respect, and it has been working a bit sense, do i accidentally mask myself, yes because I was so used to it for years. I even started to hate smiling because of my yellowish white teeth, and when i was nervous, angry, or sad in sometimes inappropriate times, I smiled unintentionally to the point i sometimes get in trouble, so I just bit the back of my bottom lips to hold my smile. I tend to keep everything personal to me though, that includes my symptoms and I usually don't talk about this at all but seeing this, and reading the comments. I'm so glad I ain't the only one even though i also know everyone has a different experience than others including myself 😅
such a cute style! this is very accurate. today I had a meltdown and it felt like days/months/years of accumulated anxiety just exploded out of my body. I'm doing better now, and this video helped me remember there are others who go through the same, and I'll be ok.
social phobia + autism = pure suffering. Now I have PTSD and an autoimmune disorder to hide, too.
Also, the school system just plain sucks. Its so traumatizing but esp for disabled and neurodivergent kids. John Lennon once wrote a song called "working class hero" that sums it up well: "They hurt you at home, and they hit you at school. They hate you if you're clever, and they despise a fool. Till you're so fucking crazy, you can't follow their rules." Teachers often do little to curb bullying (which disabled/ND kids are more likely to have) and pile on more work than we can handle, and then act baffled when we can't function. The wounds you get in high and elementary school are ones that you can spend the rest of your life trying to heal from. It shouldn't be that way.
Just found that song on Spotify and puts it all into words so well.
Holy Moly you got my entire school experience down to a perfect point, what an amazing representation of how all of this can 'feel'. Brilliant work
I have a few classes at my school with a student who’s autistic, i think he’s higher on the spectrum, and this helps me understand him a bit more. One day in gym, he didn’t know where to stand/sit, and the teacher instead of answering just kept responding with “where do you think you sit?” The kid was pretty obviously struggling and felt a lot of pressure, and a lot of us tried to make him as comfortable as possible, there was even some other kid who said “hey Mr. (Insert his name), you know he has aut-“ only for him to be cut off by “oh i know.” It was awful to watch.
i cried a little after watching this
the bit at the beginning makes me so happy! I've always been to scared to stim even alone
Literally every single moment of this is relatable to me. I was diagnosed with autism a bit more than a year ago, and boy it explained so much.
The part with the sound waves going through the air and peoples heads being eyes especially hit hard, with the sound waves it's almost as if I can feel them through my entire body, and if I stim or even start feeling a bit upset in school it feels like everyone is watching, even if they are clearly not. By the end, I truly feel like crying.
Thank you for this, I truly feel heard, it's nice to know that I'm not alone ❤
As an autistic girl myself this made me tear up a bit as you perfectly animated what it's like. Especially when showing what sensory overload was like. I would dissociate heavily throughout the school day or just about anywhere because it was so stressful and I view socialization as a play and which I'm the actor and if I or anyone else went off script then it would be overwhelming. Even when I tried my best to mask sometimes the mask will slip and thanks to those slip ups I was bullied and targeted for being a 'spaz' or a 'retard' (Though I was gifted) and to a point I believed what everyone said about me was true and I hate myself for being autistic and I wish to have a normal brain because my autism to me at least is more disabling than it is a 'super power' but at the same time it's shaped me into the person I am. I just wish life wasn't so overwhelming to the point it's crippling to even do basic things. I know everyone's life is stressful but when you're neurodivergent and/or have a mental illness (es) the stress jut hits you so much worse depending on how it effects you.
The emphasis on the whispering/lip sounds was so well made, I wanted to rip my headphones off. I felt the sound crawling up my back and it made me want to scratch at the nape of my neck because it was like a horrible itch. Which, honestly, is how it felt for me in person whenever i could hear *anyone* in the room talking. The way it annoyed me to an irrational degree, to the point of physical discomfort that I couldn’t really do anything about.
TL;DR: whispering sounds were very upsetting, really captures the IRL feel.
This film reminds me so much of myself in 7th grade (I’m going into 8th) just trying to act normal and like everyone. I would get random jitters in science class because of my suppressed stims and I felt like all the girls were looking at me. And I hated that music wasn’t allowed in that class because it helped me so much
I am in shock. My entire childhood I was unaware of my autism, making school life extremely difficult. I didn't know how to explain it, and I just thought it was normal or that there was something wrong with me. It wasn't until I was around 15-16 until I asked my mom to get me tested, after relating a little too much to autistic rep. I still don't truly know how much of what I do is an "autistic thing", and how much of me is me, but I'm slowly trying to accept that all of me is autistic, not just bits and pieces. The eyes and the sound consuming her surroundings were spot on too, reminding me of all those dreadful moments in class where I would just scream in my head over and over again until I would stopped being stared at. I barely made it out of highschool before going out of my way to graduate early, just to get out since no matter what school I went to, I would always get a low grade. I managed to pass it extremely easily, faster than the others which shocked me and my family. I'm nowhere near finished on my journey of loving and accepting myself but watching stuff like this certainly makes me feel more whole. Knowing I'm not broken, I just work differently. Your artwork truly touched my heart, and I hope you continue to create.
The way I started BAWLING watching this as a 40F; this describes my entire life. 😭💜💜💜
she was cooking in the beginning ngl
You have no idea how accurate this is to autism. I struggle every day with it. I can't stop watching this because its exactly what I face. You are amazing at sharing the message us Autists need.
I'm autistic and i cry every time i watch it because i relate so much, this is a masterpiece,
tysm for the person who made this short film
i admire these videos which manifest how people who suffer from physiology issue from thier point of view rather than third person view
I really relate to this whole thing, with the damn school bell, the little sounds drowning out crucial information and overwhelming Maria’s mind, and the end with how listening to music helped her feel more comfortable. But I don’t believe I’m on the autism spectrum. Can you mask if you have generalized anxiety disorder and/or synesthesia? /genq
Absolutely. Masking isn't an autism-only thing. People with all kinds of mental health diagnoses may mask for all kinds of reasons.
Masking is a social term that’s used for people pretending to be okay when they’re not. All people mask something at some point in their lives, but when you have mental illness, there’s a fear of rejection and ostracizing that makes masking a bit more prominent as it happens more frequently.
Anyone (and probably everyone) will relate to masking.
In regards to sensory sensitivity, that can also happen and is a facet of multiple mental illnesses, generalized anxiety disorder being one. Also sometimes, it’s not all sounds (Maria liked music as you saw) but it can be certain sounds. I don’t like the sound of horns or thunder, but I’m okay with alarms (cause I can rationalize it’s a drill even if it’s irritating). I have autism and I can’t stand multiple people talking. I can only listen to one person at a time. (Talking in a group with multiple groups was the worst in school). Different sounds cause people to react differently.
You don’t have to be on the autism spectrum to have sound sensitivity, that might just be how your anxiety is manifesting.
Thank you both for the responses, the biggest thing was sensory sensitivity which I think makes sense if it’s tied to anxiety.
I am not autistic but have moderate ADHD and anxiety, and I can struggle with sensory input. When I was in high school, one distracting input was the sensation of a tucked-in shirt. I would try and "smooth" all the wrinkles and shove them into the valley in my back where my spine is, to try and lessen the sensation. Or I would wear the "uniform" fleeces a couple sizes too large and just not tuck in my shirt. Sounds are also distracting and can be overwhelming to me, as well as the sensation of being too hot. Add enough unpleasant inputs together and I melt down, dissociate (to avoid meltdown), or most often remove myself from the situation. I still struggle with it almost a decade after high school, but at least I can pick my own clothes now.
I rarely see people describe autism correctly and in a non insulting way, thank you. That's exactly how I feel every day.
I love how the song title is "Outro". Anyway-
I relate to this, a lot. I never had the resources nor knowledge to be diagnosed. I've taken screening tests (online but they've been claimed to be used to diagnose) and looked talked to others about it in the community. Many agree that it is highly likely, and i hope to get a diagnosis so i better understand myself and have answers. I've been learning to unmask in adulthood, especially when I'm alone. I find comfort in letting myself stim freely (shaking my hand, whistling, have become my most frequent and i love it, they make me feel like myself). I tried desperately to fit in during school. So so hard, but to no avail. I found comfort in some teachers. But nothing would solve how disconnected i felt when it came to students. I always felt like i had no one i could rely on. I was easy to spread lies about, because everyone knew i wouldn't stand up for myself. And when i did i lost a majority of my friends. I try to be better at that now. But i still easily feel left out. And it's painful and frustrating. I hate being so dependent and wanting so much of others time. I don't have many real friends now, and i honestly miss some that I've lost. So much where I'd dream about being friends again with one in particular. Im certain no one will read this in full but that's fine, i just need to put my thoughts on this all somewhere.
I wish i knew this sooner. That i got help for the things i suspect i am and have. So i didn't struggle so much in classes, so my senior year didn't have to be so difficult, so i would maybe be less frustrated in myself. I know this is just me saying whatever comes to mind. I'm sorry there isn't any real rhyme or reason to this. It's just easier for me. But anyway, if anyone read to this point- thank you for reading my thoughts. I don't have many to share them with.
I can't remember almost anything from the 12 years I spent in school. Even high school, which I graduated in 2022.
My therapist says that's a coping mechanism that my brain created to deal with my trauma. I think I have some kind of PTSD, because I tried to do an administration course at the beginning of 2023 and I quit after two weeks.
This is really creative! Awesome job man
That Art Is Amazing 0:24
This is all too relatable for us autistic people.
⭐⭐⭐⭐ 1/2
i agree, sensory overload the pressure to mask sucks
Yes
Yup
this is what its like 24/7 for me
as someone autistic who goes through situations like this
It's nice to see that I'm not the only one to whom these things happen
It's just that I felt so identified with this and tears came to my eyes hahaha
beautiful animation I love it
I know right I don't have autism but this was still really sweet. And also random thing don't you just love how poofy Maria's hair is, when she strokes her hands through her hair it bounces, and I just really like that detail for some reason.
I don't have Autism, I have ADHD, and I'm also dyslexic. I can relate to this.
3:00 She has Electric Light Orchestra on her playlist? Mad Respect.✊
I'd like it if this were a game I could play, I think the experience would hit very hard
This is exactly how it is. Also I think this video might need a flashing lights warning.
that ripple effect and the eyes are the most painfully accurate visualisations I have ever seen. Beautifully animated
I watched this for a minute straight wondering what the hell this had to do with Majora's Mask
Thankfully i went to school with quiet kids. Sure all the yelling when they played was ear grating but thats normal. Large groups with conversations.... It sounded Like bubbling grease. I never felt paranoid as i just ignored everything. Always daydreaming
Beautifully done. A perfect example of why art is so important.