Update 09/22: I have since detransitioned and have been coping daily with the regret of this surgery. I was deep in ecstatic delusion in this video. I was very, very sick. Now, even though I’ve woken up from this fantasy world, I cannot breastfeed my new baby. I will never breastfeed any of my babies. I am broken forever. “Top surgery” is the worst thing I’ve ever done.
I’m glad you have shown your story. It’s a beautiful one and I’m so happy you made a beautiful family ❤ breastfeeding is an amazing experience, but trust me it’s not the only experience you will have with your baby. My son was in the nicu and I only got to breastfeed him a couple times, I was heart broken. I would cry daily, the baby blues will pass ❤ the heartbreak will always be there but you will bond with your baby ❤❤ stay strong moma
Wow. Seeing someone have the courage to admit past delusion and current regret. Forever 'broken'. Impact on motherhood. ... contrasting your words in this comment with this video describing newness, excitement, elation .....all I can say is wow. You have no idea how many people are proud of you for having the courage to be so honest. A big congrats on bringing your new little one into the world.
Please don’t think that you are broken because you regret getting surgery. You are not mutilated, and you are not broken. Regret is a part of life, and that’s okay. Also don’t let people tell you that your body is gross and mutilated cuz that’s fucked up! You only have one body and you made two children with it, so appreciate it ❤
Daisy my comment was deleted? Was wanting to know about those issues? Where your male personality stay with you? Can you talk about that please? I hear alot of those who detransition and they dont return fully to their normal gender and no one has explained why this is like this? So a guy fully transtioning to a girl and blends in only to change back. They dont fully return to being a masculine guy? But thank you too i was tears to hear you were pregnant many months back! Also you can have safe surgery to get your voice back too! ❤
Oh my god, I’m so freaking happy for you, Ollie! Your chest looks amazing. I’ve followed your channel for several years now, and this is something even I’ve been waiting for. :P So excited and happy you were finally able to get this done. I hope you have a speedy recovery! Also, this made me so excited for my own surgery next year. I’m still very nervous, though, as I’ve never had surgery before. I guess I just need to use the time I have to try and properly emotionally prepare myself for that. This video honestly made me feel a bit calmer, as it shows me what to expect. Thanks!
Woah, it looks so good!! Congratulations! Edit: I just watched the whole thing. Damn, I’m emotional. This is why I cannot wait for my surgery. I’m so ready to feel that freedom. That elation. That confidence. I totally cried when you saw your chest for the first time. I am was so happy for you, and this reminded me that someday I will be in your shoes. I’m ready to swim and exercise again, to give people hugs, to stop slouching, and to never have to use a binder ever again. I honestly might not fully recover from the effects of binding on by ribs and breathing, but I will sure as hell feel better. I’ve been binding every single day for almost three years, and I am so ready to be done. I’m so ready to start really living. This turned into a bit of a personal rant, but I want to say congratulations again. And thank you so much for sharing this with us. ❤️
Although I'm on "the right" on many issues (and yes, I agree with many issues Jordan Peterson deals with) I am trying to educate myself on trans issues and appreciate these videos very much.
Yeah this channel is amazing. I was a young liberal, but I feel I was driven far far FAR to the right because I couldn’t stand my company on the left anymore. But this channel helps me remember that I don’t have to always be so closed off to new ideas or a better understanding of ALL issues
Congrats on the surgery dude. Hope the scars heal as quickly and as much as possible. PS. Love the Jordan P. talk in the start, I know that exact talk.
Your reaction to the initial reveal was so awesome. And that ending...Incredibly moving! You can really see how this has changed you for the better. All the best Ollie ❤️
Your chest reveal made me cry tears of joy for you! Congratulations on the successful surgery! Your happiness is contagious :-) You look like a billion bucks. We love you Ollie
First of all I’m extremely jealous but instead of turning that jealousy into hate towards you I’m directing it into happiness for you. Ur chest looks amazing!!! And I’m so glad ur happy. I really appreciate this video because you showed a lot of your recovery and that’s the part I’m most nervous about. After watching this I feel less nervous. But it also got me thinking that even tho I try not to let my chest and binding get in the way of me living my life it really does. I can’t play sports anymore. I can’t be out of the house for long periods of time without being in pain and before I leave the house I have to worry about how long I’ll be gone for so I don’t damage my ribs. I’ve always been extremely dysphoric about my chest since the second I first noticed it growing. And I can’t wait til I can look down and b flat. And not just flat for a few hours while I’m binding, completely and permanently flat.
also holy shit i relate to the dysphoria explanation so much, it's literally skin crawling and panic inducing for me and i've never heard a lot of people mention feeling that way and for the longest time i thought it made me "invalid" as a trans person. which is a stupid thought, but It's Just How It Is.
Those butchers with medical degrees should take all the blame. They knew you were a confused kid and would grow out of it, but they wanted the money. Although some of them are doubtless butchering and deforming children because they are just plain wicked. I pray you, and the countless others in your position (many too scared to speak out), find happiness in your life.
Ay your chest looks great bro! It’s awesome to see how far you’ve come in your transition. Also: I fuckin love the jacket you’re wearing in the beginning. What kind is it and where did you get it?
Dude whyyy,i came here happy and excited for you but also dysphoric as hell and the last mins of the video fucked me up so bad i started crying and im still dysphoric but now im also hopeful...wow that was a rant but thank you so much for your videos,hope you will heal well and soon!!
Crazy how a year ago I watched this and top surgery was so far away and I had no idea when I would have it but now it’s literally two days away and I could not be happier (of course nervous because it’s a surgery) but overall ready.
I'm getting top in a month with Dr Cicuto and I am unbelieveeably impatient hahah. Starting off a top surgery vlog binge with this, really helps to see how others went through it. Bless dude, hope your recovery is speedy.
Congrats! Just a heads up, once the incisions are fully healed, I really recommend cocoa butter to help the scars start to disappear back into your normal skin tone. You can get a serious thing of Palmer's for like ten bucks. I had a scar going down my stomach that was like three times as big as those, and it looks way better.
I'm sooo hyped too! I will have my top surgery on July 16th ... only 10 more days I'm also glad to see you happy!! 😊 Do you use a cream for your scars?
Damn I’m so happy for you like idk who you are but this video made me cry like I’m going to be getting top surgery this summer (hopefully) and like ugh it’s so emotional like I have really awful dysphoria and like I used to like swimming and running and like my dream is to go to a beach and take my shirt off and I just feel like I’m finally gonna be just a normal guy
So, I clearly don't understand surgery like this I understand what it likes having scars on your chest, my chest and back look like some kind of monster scratched across it with its claws. (It was just a bad car accident) but don't like the scars make you feel anyway then you have badass scars
Hey Ollie, I live in Chicago and I'm between Schechter and Shore for top surgery. I was just wondering, how did you end up picking Dr. Shore? (Your results look amazing by the way!)
was your surgery scheduled for july when you had the consultation in November? I have a consultation with Dr Shore and cant for the life of me find any information about her wait list
I get squeamish so I can't look at your chest for too long. It's not ugly at all but with the tubes in your chest and the blood and the scares, my stomach can't take it. Especially imagining how painful it might be. You're reaction was beautiful and I almost cried. I hope on day I can get keyhole surgery. By any chance, do you know how small your chest has to be? And if you don't mind me asking, how big was your chest pre op?
once someone told me i look kinda like u and now i can only hope my chest looks like urs one day too 😢 i think we're around the same age but i'm so far from ever getting top or even hrt atm and ur results are so good. god i hate to sound negative but i feel pretty dysphoric today and i'm so stuck 😅
Update 09/22: I have since detransitioned and have been coping daily with the regret of this surgery. I was deep in ecstatic delusion in this video. I was very, very sick. Now, even though I’ve woken up from this fantasy world, I cannot breastfeed my new baby. I will never breastfeed any of my babies. I am broken forever. “Top surgery” is the worst thing I’ve ever done.
I’m glad you have shown your story. It’s a beautiful one and I’m so happy you made a beautiful family ❤ breastfeeding is an amazing experience, but trust me it’s not the only experience you will have with your baby. My son was in the nicu and I only got to breastfeed him a couple times, I was heart broken. I would cry daily, the baby blues will pass ❤ the heartbreak will always be there but you will bond with your baby ❤❤ stay strong moma
Wow. Seeing someone have the courage to admit past delusion and current regret. Forever 'broken'. Impact on motherhood.
... contrasting your words in this comment with this video describing newness, excitement, elation .....all I can say is wow. You have no idea how many people are proud of you for having the courage to be so honest. A big congrats on bringing your new little one into the world.
Some character development, who knows what's the next future chapter holds.
Please don’t think that you are broken because you regret getting surgery. You are not mutilated, and you are not broken. Regret is a part of life, and that’s okay. Also don’t let people tell you that your body is gross and mutilated cuz that’s fucked up! You only have one body and you made two children with it, so appreciate it ❤
Daisy my comment was deleted? Was wanting to know about those issues? Where your male personality stay with you? Can you talk about that please? I hear alot of those who detransition and they dont return fully to their normal gender and no one has explained why this is like this? So a guy fully transtioning to a girl and blends in only to change back. They dont fully return to being a masculine guy?
But thank you too i was tears to hear you were pregnant many months back! Also you can have safe surgery to get your voice back too! ❤
I’m happy you are healthy and feelin’ good.
Oh my god, I’m so freaking happy for you, Ollie! Your chest looks amazing. I’ve followed your channel for several years now, and this is something even I’ve been waiting for. :P So excited and happy you were finally able to get this done. I hope you have a speedy recovery!
Also, this made me so excited for my own surgery next year. I’m still very nervous, though, as I’ve never had surgery before. I guess I just need to use the time I have to try and properly emotionally prepare myself for that. This video honestly made me feel a bit calmer, as it shows me what to expect. Thanks!
the placement of your scars is so good holy sh*t im so happy for u
Woah, it looks so good!! Congratulations!
Edit: I just watched the whole thing. Damn, I’m emotional. This is why I cannot wait for my surgery. I’m so ready to feel that freedom. That elation. That confidence. I totally cried when you saw your chest for the first time. I am was so happy for you, and this reminded me that someday I will be in your shoes. I’m ready to swim and exercise again, to give people hugs, to stop slouching, and to never have to use a binder ever again. I honestly might not fully recover from the effects of binding on by ribs and breathing, but I will sure as hell feel better. I’ve been binding every single day for almost three years, and I am so ready to be done. I’m so ready to start really living.
This turned into a bit of a personal rant, but I want to say congratulations again. And thank you so much for sharing this with us. ❤️
kryldon you will get there!!!
Ollie Chadra Thank you. :)
Thank you, Daisy, for putting your old videos back. I hope some kids will learn from your story. All the best to you and your family.
I cant help but smile like an idiot whenever I see you reacting to your scars, especially in your Instagram post. I'm quite happy for you!
Although I'm on "the right" on many issues (and yes, I agree with many issues Jordan Peterson deals with) I am trying to educate myself on trans issues and appreciate these videos very much.
Richard Fuchs I’m so glad you’re a person who educated yourself before they just decide to judge us
Yeah this channel is amazing. I was a young liberal, but I feel I was driven far far FAR to the right because I couldn’t stand my company on the left anymore. But this channel helps me remember that I don’t have to always be so closed off to new ideas or a better understanding of ALL issues
Congrats on the surgery dude. Hope the scars heal as quickly and as much as possible.
PS.
Love the Jordan P. talk in the start, I know that exact talk.
I watched these at the time, and my heart broke for you. So glad you’ve rediscovered your true self.
I’m sosososo happy for you brother! The smile on your face says it all to me.
Your reaction to the initial reveal was so awesome. And that ending...Incredibly moving! You can really see how this has changed you for the better. All the best Ollie ❤️
Looks like you got....
....something off your chest.
Sorry
laflugantabastardo I disagree
laflugantabastardo haha ;)
hahahahaha im crying
Richard Tobing I'm sorry Richard.
You're hilarious
Ollie!!! I am so happy for you!! I had no idea this was going on, but what a happy way to end my week!
Your chest reveal made me cry tears of joy for you! Congratulations on the successful surgery! Your happiness is contagious :-) You look like a billion bucks. We love you Ollie
Congrats, Ollie! I'm so happy for you! Your smile is so big, it's awesome.
First of all I’m extremely jealous but instead of turning that jealousy into hate towards you I’m directing it into happiness for you. Ur chest looks amazing!!! And I’m so glad ur happy. I really appreciate this video because you showed a lot of your recovery and that’s the part I’m most nervous about. After watching this I feel less nervous. But it also got me thinking that even tho I try not to let my chest and binding get in the way of me living my life it really does. I can’t play sports anymore. I can’t be out of the house for long periods of time without being in pain and before I leave the house I have to worry about how long I’ll be gone for so I don’t damage my ribs. I’ve always been extremely dysphoric about my chest since the second I first noticed it growing. And I can’t wait til I can look down and b flat. And not just flat for a few hours while I’m binding, completely and permanently flat.
im not an emotional person but your reaction made me tear up a little bit
I've never seen someone so happy. Congratulations dude, you got some amazing results
gimme the jug, please, my family is poor and we are starving.. all we want is the jug, i beg you...
LMFAO
I love how raw this video is. I'm so proud and happy for you Ollie.
This video makes me emotional every time I’ve watched it 2 times and just I’m so excited for top sergery
I am so happy for you and honestly appreciate you sharing this because being able to see other people's experiences with surgery is really helpful
Did anybody else cry watching this?? I'm very happy for you!
I am so so so happy for you and I love how happy you are now. I send all the best!
So happy for you! My jaw dropped so hard in that beginning reveal lol
you’re so handsome ily
ur chest looks fantastic as hell... im so happy for u oli xo
also holy shit i relate to the dysphoria explanation so much, it's literally skin crawling and panic inducing for me and i've never heard a lot of people mention feeling that way and for the longest time i thought it made me "invalid" as a trans person. which is a stupid thought, but It's Just How It Is.
nd ur end speech made me fukcin cry dude
Those butchers with medical degrees should take all the blame. They knew you were a confused kid and would grow out of it, but they wanted the money. Although some of them are doubtless butchering and deforming children because they are just plain wicked.
I pray you, and the countless others in your position (many too scared to speak out), find happiness in your life.
I had my surgery a couple days before yours! Super exciting. Hope you are healing up well!!
OMG congratulations Ollie!! You look so good im so proud of you. You can just see how happy it makes you and it warms my heart.
Ay your chest looks great bro! It’s awesome to see how far you’ve come in your transition.
Also: I fuckin love the jacket you’re wearing in the beginning. What kind is it and where did you get it?
Love your channel!!! I'm glad this all worked out so well!
God I admire your openness and bravery. Such a brave young man. Also very clever opening with the Jordan Peterson quote
She has grown up now and emerged from her delliousion. She had a baby and she is actually a fan of Jordan Peterson. There is hope for you.
It looks really nice!!!! Whoever did it measured it all up really well, and im so happy for you!
Aww you made me almost cry.
I seriously cant fricking wait till I can get surgery. Yours looks so good. Congrats boi. 🙂💙
AHHH this is so amazing you look fantastic and I am so so happy for you! I send all the best and tons of love :)
Dude whyyy,i came here happy and excited for you but also dysphoric as hell and the last mins of the video fucked me up so bad i started crying and im still dysphoric but now im also hopeful...wow that was a rant but thank you so much for your videos,hope you will heal well and soon!!
Congratulations Ollie. I hope you thrive from this point onwards
Crazy how a year ago I watched this and top surgery was so far away and I had no idea when I would have it but now it’s literally two days away and I could not be happier (of course nervous because it’s a surgery) but overall ready.
Ollie .... thank You for your vulnerability. You are loved ❤️❤️❤️❤️
So happy for you! It's gonna heal up so well dude!
Yo I been following u for so long and this is so great to see man so happy for you
The absolute on your face in the beginning is heartwarming
Your chest looks great! Glad you made this video, it’s good to kind of know what to expect.
I'm getting top in a month with Dr Cicuto and I am unbelieveeably impatient hahah. Starting off a top surgery vlog binge with this, really helps to see how others went through it. Bless dude, hope your recovery is speedy.
I wish you now could go back in time and speak to your younger self. You probably wouldn’t listen. We learn from doing rather than hearing.
Congrats! Just a heads up, once the incisions are fully healed, I really recommend cocoa butter to help the scars start to disappear back into your normal skin tone. You can get a serious thing of Palmer's for like ten bucks. I had a scar going down my stomach that was like three times as big as those, and it looks way better.
sLicEd AnD dIceD
I’m happy that you’re happy Ollie
"Stand up straight with your shoulders back, that's rule number one, *tsk* bITCH"
Omfg your chest looks so good I'm jealous
lol I got a bit teary-eyed for you on the first reveal, congrats :)
Ollie, I hope all continues well for you. I hope the best for you. God bless.
Your results are _amazing!_ I'm so happy for you! 😆
I'm so happy for you
“stand up straight with shoulders back. thats rule number one... BEATCH” i actually laughed way too loud when you said that 😂
I'm sooo hyped too! I will have my top surgery on July 16th ... only 10 more days
I'm also glad to see you happy!! 😊
Do you use a cream for your scars?
goals tbh
So happy for you Ollie 😊congratulations 🎉
I'm so freaking happy for you!
Im so freaking happy for you.. Just found ur channel but i sure love it :D Love you
Damn I’m so happy for you like idk who you are but this video made me cry like I’m going to be getting top surgery this summer (hopefully) and like ugh it’s so emotional like I have really awful dysphoria and like I used to like swimming and running and like my dream is to go to a beach and take my shirt off and I just feel like I’m finally gonna be just a normal guy
I'm here from the Allie Beth Stuckey interview! God bless
Congrats dude, you're really cool and I'm glad you're happy :)
So, I clearly don't understand surgery like this I understand what it likes having scars on your chest, my chest and back look like some kind of monster scratched across it with its claws. (It was just a bad car accident) but don't like the scars make you feel anyway then you have badass scars
I'm not even emotional why am I crying right now
This video makes me so happy
On one hand im really happy that you are happy its looks great bro.
On the other hand...
GIMME THE MOFUGGIN JUG
I'm surprised that you only had to wear the post op binder for a week- I thought it was typically 3-4 weeks
37:05 This made me laugh real hard XD
Great to hear you're feeling better now. Good luck with the rest of your life, man. Honestly ;)
Hey Ollie, I live in Chicago and I'm between Schechter and Shore for top surgery. I was just wondering, how did you end up picking Dr. Shore? (Your results look amazing by the way!)
Milo Diana I’m in Chicago and i want to get surgery with Shore, I’ve heard bad things about both results and bedside manor from schicter
These doctors doing this to kids are absolutely horrible and need to be prosecuted.
I’m so happy for you
That troll giveaway tho :D
Awesome! Congrats, Ollie!
37:04 JBP on steroids
P.S. I am so damn happy for you Ollie!
My parents would never let me do stuff like this. Big oof
was your surgery scheduled for july when you had the consultation in November? I have a consultation with Dr Shore and cant for the life of me find any information about her wait list
Feeling happy for you!
I get squeamish so I can't look at your chest for too long. It's not ugly at all but with the tubes in your chest and the blood and the scares, my stomach can't take it. Especially imagining how painful it might be. You're reaction was beautiful and I almost cried. I hope on day I can get keyhole surgery. By any chance, do you know how small your chest has to be? And if you don't mind me asking, how big was your chest pre op?
Im glad for you, and can see how you're happy!
Best wishes :)
Congrats man !!
Nice, I'm really happy for you!
0:00, Ollie's model walk.
Damn. It looks awesome my dude. So happy for ya. :DD
I'm so happy for u!!!!!💖💖💖💖💖
Congrats dude!
IT LOOKS SO DAMN GOOD!!!! Can I ask how big your chest used to be? I really want top surgery so info for comparison would be appreciated :)
Can’t wait till I can get top surgery.
Respect. Proud that you can b yourself
Transformer... a decepticon.
once someone told me i look kinda like u and now i can only hope my chest looks like urs one day too 😢 i think we're around the same age but i'm so far from ever getting top or even hrt atm and ur results are so good. god i hate to sound negative but i feel pretty dysphoric today and i'm so stuck 😅
Stay strong man
wewwwwww i'm so happy for youuuu :)
Turned out pretty great dude
*_Gimme the jug_*
Omg I skipped a lot, looks painful AF. But it is looking good :). Gratz
Congrats dude
Congratulations. I've got a BS in Kinesiology and I'm studying to be a strength coach if you need any tips lifting :)