So true! I wasted a year of my life with jms after she told me she 'had no emotional intelligence' - and she didn't! Should have listened - believe the avoidants when they say something!
Talking it out, might work... It depends on how well you can communicate with each other. If it's more work than it's worth, MOVE ON! I believe people CAN change if it's for the right reasons and it's WORTH IT... Be AUTHENTIC! Then you're not playing the other person, and you know your WORTH! Never lose YOUR VALUE! Some people just aren't worth your time!
*One of the biggest red flags is a woman who’s constantly negative or critical - it drains your energy and impacts your confidence. Surround yourself with people who uplift you and support your growth, not those who bring constant drama!*
That's also a red flag for me as well. Or the need to compare me to an Ex right off the bat on a first date. Thats a huge F-NO! Flag for me lol. It may seem like a compliment to say "you're not like my other ex." But there's a underlying toxic mentality in that person just barely hitting the surface in a subtle way.
It’s her birthday today and I’m fighting myself to not call. It feels inhuman to share so much with someone then be forced to share nothing. What a sad state of affairs.
I hope you don't call her. It's not worth getting pulled back in, or disrespected, or toyed with in any way. I know exactly how you feel though. Good luck to you.
Don't call her. I totally understand what you feel, but it's better to keep the distance. I passed the same a few months ago, and I still I'm struggling with this (even with no contact). Be strong and think in yourself. You will be better with the time.
Don't get confused with how you feel & the way someone makes/made you feel.. Your not missing her, your missing how YOU felt around her.. Don't do it, stay strong brother 🤙
I escaped a narcissist who was so entitled wanted a man to pay her bills for her, buy her luxury products, nearly killed me trying to please her, she idealised me then devalued me and discarded me, blamed me when I spoke up, shame as I really liked her until the entitlement came about. When you lead with your wallet you’re going to get burned. Since then I came across channels like this, learned about the DSM5 and about attachment theory, narcissism and co-dependency.
@@sphenoidjjj thankfully I could see it coming but it was like the proverbial frog in the frying pan when someone slowly turns up the heat, sorry but I’m not paying anyone’s rent, maid, buy luxury products for them, the new supply she got is though. I’m glad I got out and am rebuilding my sanity.
Man, I feel so lucky to have found one without any of these traits in excess... She even calls out herself on her bad behaviours sometimes without me having to say anything. And it happens like 5-10% of the time we're interacting. Truly a keeper...
How long have ya'll currently been together? I'm just saying, watch out, when I was married I thought I had a keeper too. She didn't show me who she was until 5 years later and she started listening to Tik Tok and her sister. Now we are divorced and she's at the club right now with her sister.
Here are mine condensed to four. Works 100% 4.) Lacks self-curiosity and interest in personal growth, and enjoys talking smack about others. Why look at yourself when other people are always the problem? 3. Poor interpersonal boundaries. Their own and for you. Do they push your boundaries? If they do, can they accept "no" without projecting FOGS on you, even subtly? (FOGS: Fear, Obligation, Guilt, Shame). Women test instinctively. It's expected, but a sane one will respect you more for having firm boundaries. If you don't understand what boundaries are, learn, and be sure you actually have them, no matter how hot she is. Do you say "no", when you know that "no" is the right answer for you? 2. Flakiness - Unreliable, inconsistent, full of excuses, lies, blames others, the world, friends, their boss, planetary alignments, and you for whatever makes them feel bad, which leads us to #1 1. Lack of accountability - Nothing is ever their fault This combo gets you someone, who is unreliable, refuses to own their own sh!t, and invites you to own it for them. If you accept the challenge and choose to play their game, welcome to Cluster B personality disorder hell. The choice is your's. Choose wisely. You get what you let.
@@mukesh.dhimar we never know this things, before it happens to us. That you are here now, to learn and to grow is a direct consequence of what happend. 1 year ago, it happend to me and i invested all my time, in becoming my best version. Ive met someone like this again, 6 weeks ago and it did not catch me anymore. Become the man you want to see next to the woman you want to be with
Peace of mind is more important than finding a partner. Better to be single and content than unhappy in a relationship, All said and done, it is ultimately ourselves that we have to live with.
I listen to your videos and I just nod my head up and down and keep saying "Yep, Yep, Yep, definitely, big time!!" Thanks for your work, there's plenty of us out there. Mine was 30 years ago and I am still haunted by that woman in my heart.
My ex-wife was almost all of the women described here. If only I'd seen Lise's videos earlier, I might not have thrown 20 years of my life away. I eventually broke free but only when my daughter was grown up. I stayed because I wanted her to have a father. Breaking away is brutal, though. I'm 68 and still in pain. These videos help me to understand that I wasn't crazy, and that I did the right thing in the end in spite of all the suffering.
Yup! How many good men put up with a covert narcissist and their daughters don't even know the personal sacrifice they endured to avoid being a 'step door dad' an undeserved fate of so many good men. Stay 💪 strong. There is a silent majority out there sharing your pain.
@BubbaWhite-indie You are right, my daughter will never know what I endured. Mostly because I would never say anything against her mother in front of her. And for good reason because she loves her mother just as we all did. It would be wrong to drag my daughter onto the battlefield. As husbands and fathers we have to be stoic and suffer in silence. That's why I appreciate the work Lise is doing. It validates everything that went on in our lives. The confusion, the loneliness, the sheer heartlessness of it all. It's telling, though, that my daughter, who is now 20 years old, has chosen to live with me in my little two room apartment, rather than in the family home she grew up in which is occupied solo by my ex- wife. And not through any prompting on my side. She made this choice all on her own.
Lol I sort of thought the same thing. I think the key is to find someone who is actively working on their issues or to heal yourself so well that women with toxic traits aren't even attractive to you anymore.
Men, if you want to overcome the struggle put it in perspective (this has helped me)… You want a woman that respects you more than she loves you. If she respects you, she will show her love and always remain in line. If she doesn’t respect you, just walk away. Give up on the idea of romantic love and you will save yourself a lot of time and energy. You will also attract a more suitable partner as you will sniff the bs out much quicker. Know thyself
These are always so spot on. I see most or all of these things in virtually every woman I have ever dealt with, unfortunately. Good luck finding one that’s different gents.
@@em7937 It's usually because we are used to nothing but toxicity, and the balanced women you speak of comprise less than 5% of what is out there. I truly hate this reality, but it is the reality.
As a man fresh into his forties, I value my peace & quiet and no longer have any interest in getting involved with another toxic woman again. And regarding toxic exes: Never play with trash once it's in the garbage. Let the garbage men deal with it.
@@michaelthomas1614 if you are in your 20's right now it's not a big surprise as there are more toxic women now then ever before plus information available online to inform you against abusive superficial women.
Purely platonic relationship between man and woman is not just rare, it's rare like 1% of all relationship. There's always the underlying intention, whoever is saying the opposite is eighter ignorant or haven't seen enough of life. Thanks for the great work Lise!
I have many female friends I have no sexual interest in. I only find a few women sexually attractive and have no desire to involve myself with women I'm not attracted to. I guess there could be some attraction the other way around with some of them, and generally I find men better company and more interesting, but I only wish I found so many women attractive that it was hard just being friends with the vast majority of them.
@@jakelesnake4927 the attraction goes at least one way, this is the point of the problem... it doesnt need to go both ways for there to be a real problem, as long as one of the friends finds the other attractive, then is a problem if youre in a relationship, youre partner will not like it.
@@DerFleisch Of course, when that stage comes you can have closer relationships with women. Still, I doubt that you go on coffee with them every day when their man is not around
Lise, thank you for creating these videos. It’s been nearly three years for me now, and while I’ve come a long way, there are still moments when I experience periods of anxiety tied to the difficult times I had with my ex who has BPD. As a physician, I recognized early during the relationship that she met the criteria for BPD and also NPD traits, yet, unfortunately for reasons such as codependency, I continued the relationship. It lasted two years and was marked by multiple instances of being discarded by her until I took the step to finish the relationship . Your videos have been invaluable in my healing process, and I often revisit them whenever I feel myself slipping back into old feelings. Thank you again for your support and insights.
At 38, after countless rejections and one 6 year pointless relationships, I am now seriously looking into retiring alone as dealing with women is simply not worth it.
I want to comfort You! There is a swedish proverb:" Its better to have failed than to never fail!" .This means, even if we got heart sores, we have lived a various and partly interesting and various lives!
Hey Lise, I know your content is primarily aimed at men, but as a young woman who watches your videos, I just want to say thank you. I recently broke up with my malignant narcissist boyfriend, and although I know I made the right choice, it’s been challenging. The emotional and verbal abuse, and even the beginnings of physical abuse, were taking a toll on my well-being, leaving me with anxiety, depression, and constant self-doubt. I kept asking myself, “What did I do wrong? Why is he being so cold and distant?” and “What happened to the seemingly sweet man I started to fall for?” Your videos have been a much-needed reminder that it wasn’t anything I said or did. This is just how they treat people once the lovebombing fades and you’re no longer the shiny new object. Thank you for helping me see things clearly.
What I learned today: 1. Confirmation for red flags that I noticed, with some new connections this year. 2. When a romantic interest is actively not making time to communicate adequately, often making excuses to not show up with fair effort for connection. Run! Quickly, and moved forward towards a future woman that is ready to commit. 😮💨 3. A whole lot more, but I'll stop here. #RecoveringHeart from Inconsistent people. #Learn&Grow #NoRepeats
Also women who won't give up ex-partners. My girlfriend just couldn't give up an ex-partner, she spoke about this guy constantly, rang and texted him, invited him to parties. Exes are a real big red flag and I'm never ever going to date a woman who's still hung up on an ex. GREAT BIG RED FLAG!
Everytime I listen to you... it's like a revelation... like you were there when I was going through the tides... I at first loved the challenge.. you know maybe I can change her...maybe she need a good man .. one who can make her forget all the "animals" that hurt her... bro save your life... be that nice to yourself...#Properreigns
This captivating video triggers a flood of painful memories from the end of my 6 year relationship just three months ago. The woman I loved with all my heart chose to walk away, leaving me grappling with an insurmountable sense of loss. Despite my relentless efforts to salvage what we had, I'm left feeling disillusioned and unable to imagine a future without her. Despite my attempts to move on , I'm drawn to express my deep-seated longing for her here .
The struggle to release someone dear to your heart is undeniably arduous. I empathize, having experienced a similar circumstance when my 8 year relationship concluded. Refusing to accept defeat, I pursued every conceivable avenue to reclaim his affection. Eventually, I sought the assistance of a spiritual counselor, whose wisdom and intervention played a pivotal role in reuniting us.
Aww wow I feel your pain I was in love with this girl for years wishing id have a chance before I die to be with her . Well 12 months ago she finally came into my life. Just to find out she a narcissist the love of my life since we were kids turned out to be a nightmare
Exciting video, A year ago I took the no contact route, well i wouldnt say it didnt go well, but i missed her and sometimes you have to leave your comfort zone and go for what you want, Without knowing and having a huge ego, we might actually miss out on our soul mate all in the name of not settling for less, I know who i am, and at the same time i know what i want for me, so i did all i could to get her back, and I must say, it was the best decision i have ever made, we have been together again for over 7 months, yes marriage isnt always rosey, but i am lucky to have her, just as she is to have me, we compliment each other.
its difficult to let go of someone you love, i am in a similar situation, and i do not know what else do to have him back, i have been dying inside, people actually think i am happy, i am not.
I feel your pain sister , after trying out the no contact experiment that failed miserably, i had to find other means, i had to reach out to a spiritual adviser, it was brilliant idea which i never thought it was, but it worked wonders for me.
The first toxic woman I dated after my wife died continued to call me, and send cards and letters up to seven years after I dumped her crazy ass. I dumped six more crazy ass women after her over the following ten years. I'm done now. I had my unicorn, and the rest can be as toxic as they want away from me and my life. Been content for two years now deliberately turning down opportunities, and avoiding jumping back in that cesspool. Onward.
I’m coming to grips with the reality of reactive abuse. After finding years' worth of betrayal-evidence of my wife’s affairs stretching back over a decade-I lost my cool, which landed me in jail. As much as that hurt, these 30 days of separation have brought me a strange sense of peace. Being away has made me see her manipulation clearly, the way she kicks people when they’re down, the way she’s turned that cruelty on me now. She’s likely waiting for me to come back, ready to restart her cycle of control and deceit. But I’m done. I don’t need to fight for my things or step back into her prison. Maybe it’s best to let it all go, to walk away for good. This separation may have saved me, forced me to break free from her grasp. I see her for who she is now, and I’m choosing to move forward without her.
Sounds like you are doing the correct thing by staying away from her. You've recognised the cycle of her abuse. How did you find out about the affairs btw?
@@sphenoidjjj Having shared access to her phone, I was able to go in settings, accounts, and backup and restore all messages. I was able to see the entirety of the text thread.
I've dated most of these types of women!!!! And have concluded, there are no normal women out there!!!! Have been single for 5+ years now, and love the peace I have in my home now!
Yes, my experience also. At least 50% are cluster B. It's archtypical and they have different brains and susceptible to emotional dysregulation. Men have issues too. Collectively it's why thecworld gone right wing, refusal to grow up.
Some of us ladies are good and still out here saying the same things. I just had this discussion with a male cousin of mine last night. It's too bad we non-disorded folks with integrity and kind hearts can't seem to find each other easier. 😢
I own my own home and I have it fixed up just the way I like it. I had one home taken from me. It won't happen ever again. I don't hate women, I just don't want to be bothered.
Never underestimate the strength needed to leave and stay gone from a toxic woman irrespective of the strength you believe you have. Best to listen to this and leave them the hell alone. Unfortunately, people don't come with warning labels. At least nature colors and marks venomous plants and animals as a warning. Not so with humans.
Wow, this was an absolutely fantastic run down of what can potentially be experienced. Concise, accurate, well explained. Thank you Lise! it's rare to find such straight forward, no filler relationship related info online lately with all the click bait, viral wording and drawn out length. Much appreciated!
All good advice for men and women. Now, the tough part is to hold back from making excuses that the person isn’t what they are demonstrating themselves to be while not being overreacting and paranoid. Learn to be honest with yourself and recognize things for what they are without immediate judgement nor analysis. Then, put them together and decide if you’re in a bad relationship. If you think you are, you probably are.
Really useful video. thank you. We all try to see the good in others when dating, however avoiding being ensnared with these types is the classic "an ounce of prevention is worth a TON of cure."
1) Saved the drama for her bf (YOU) 2) Control freak 3) Me me me 4) For the streets 5) Mental health/Addiction issues untreated 6) Gold digger / Sugar baby 7) Chronic victim 8) Attention seeker 9) Dependant/Insecure 10) Hot & cold / push-pull
Don't forget the women that bring too much baggage eg credit card debt, student debt, kids from previous relationships, big body counts or even poisonous mothers or sisters.
Just dealt with a woman displaying a few of these characteristics while blaming my toxicity while I have gone back to therapy she refused herself as she had it figured out. Constantly manipulative, moody, and unwilling to look at her behavior. Its hard but you have to put your mental health first and walk away.
@em7937 I literally was assaulted by her, had money stolen, blackmailed, extorted, publicly humiliated, etc. I It's a figure of speech commonly used, and clearly, this wasn't used seriously but rather as a pun in reference to the video listing 10 elements. For perspective, you're out here defending an extremely abusive person because what? Her victim used an idiom you don't like? And *I'm* the bad person?
I appreciate everything you've uploaded! You've helped me to identify I was with a pretty narcissistic woman and you helped me get out of that! Thank you for what you do!!!
Thank you so much for the work you do! I'm about 8 years out and in a good place these days. Some therapy, many books, videos like yours, and determination to recognize the red flags have set me free. Guys, listen and embrace what Lisa is sharing with the world and get out. Lisa, your inner and outer beauty are amazing! Thanks from Texas, Eric ✌️ n ❤
Your video “Ten Signs You Are In A Narcissist Relationship”, truly opened my eyes. I watched it because in my “relationship”, I had been accused of being a narcissistic. You helped me realize that I had ascribed vaguely to two of those characteristics. By the time I had finished the video you had completely described the entirety of my treatment during that period.
Absolutely! I wouldn't advocate living with someone before tying the knot buuut it might give you a little bit more insight before going 'legal' which essential what marriage is.
The first thing a man should look at in a relationship is her mother. If she has a bad relationship with her mother, then that is a red flag 🚩 to leave her right away.
I deeply value your insight and what you offer. I've learned so much from you and have avoided several toxic women in my dating life. I know it's better to remain single, than settle for a toxic parter. I am holding out hope to finding a good woman in my life time. Great things come to those who wait.
I kid you not, my ex bpd gf checked every one of these boxes 😂 surviving a relationship like that is eye opening and life changing. Always pay attention to these red flags, dont burry your head from love bombing guys
I hear you, I have a neighbor that works next door and her aggressive ain't so passive. Sometimes we see the red flags and start making discreet adjustments and they get more intense plushy and annoying. It's not just obvious stuff like sex and money. None of that here they might just want to utilize your skill set or name drop. They have a problem with becoming too personal and uncomfortably familiar. By now we already know we don't want contact while they're having their secret celebration thinking they have a big fish on the line. Plain annoying.
My ex pwBPD checked a lot of of these boxes. We’ve been broke up for four months now. I’m still dealing with the trauma from the relationship. I definitely ignored the red flags and now I regret that I had.
Wow!! She was 10/10 on your examples. I stuck thru cuz she has heart issue but in end had to look out for myself. She will find other help from other men like she said many times.#8 Always had guy friends in the loop, went online found herself a sugar daddy cuz she in entitled and I couldn’t pay for the things she wanted . I did everything for her but was never enough for her. Manipulated, micro managed my time, my eyes were open but stuck thru cuz her health and struggle. Took advantage of my empathy. Discarded me as soon as I was worn out and needed time for myself. I walked away. Relationships are 2 way street. Too many details to list but there’s one for every # you mentioned
Towards the end she mentions mixed signals. Anything less than enthusiasm, just walk. If she wants to be with you, she will make it obvious. Wife material will be easy to deal with and drama free. Any games, drama, pettiness, jealousy, keep it moving or fun only.
My ex was easily 5 or 6 of these. Unfortunately I fell for the bs that her exs had hurt her and this was the reason for her behaviour. I couldn't fix her but she certainly broke me. Walk away.
@@JohnSmith-wo7ns yeah, you want to help them but if it hurts you, it’s not worth it. I tried and it emotionally wrecked me. I feel conflicted about feeling bad for her. She chose pride and ego over being with me
@Karll541 they start with lies about their exs, we want to show her not all men are bad so try to fix her. Its impossible! They aren't interested in a loving supportive relationship. They're looking to control and manipulate. They're offered all the love in the world but it's never enough. Impossible.
True indeed, I've experienced it. I've been blocked for a month now but she call me. 5 years roller coaster ride and just learned about BPD six months ago. I lost myself.
It’s crazy how I’m noticing the push pull dynamic from my younger niece in how she manipulates her family members. Something tells me some of these behaviors have a genetic trait to them.
Thank you for this. Recent relationship had all these traits. Currently getting out now and its difficult. Feels like your personally talking about my relationship lol
3 days after officially being in a relationship, she punished me with distance all day long and with stuff like "No touching today. Don't come too close to me. The place where that happened yesterday is forever taboo now and I wont go there with you ever again.". This punishment happened after I didnt touch her legs 1 day earlier, after we met and sat down together. She stood up like after 5-10 seconds and said "Ok. I am going now". Just because I didnt lay my hand on her legs. The same day, when we tried to sleep together, I was so frustrated and it was an emotional rollercoaster. I didnt understand what the hell is going on and why is all of this happening? I saw myself as a failure and started to see myself as the problem. I tried to never do the same mistakes ever again. Later that day she wanted to sleep with me, I was so frustrated and it didnt work. Afterwards she said to my face "my heart has feelings for you, but my body moves you into the friendzone". We got together 3 days before all of this and she said that to my face. At that point... I didnt know anymore. I was losing myself and I started to see myself as a failure. Was it really my fault? Why did all of this happen? I still dont understand any of it.... We are not in a relationship anymore. She broke up with me after I lied to her, because I exploded one day. I swallowed so much inside, I never wanted to hurt her, but I literally exploded and couldnt control myself anymore. Even my mom couldnt recognize me anymore and she noticed that I was acting like a different person...
Amazing video A month ago, my partnership of five years came to an end. The choice to break up with the person I love is something that really gets to me. Even though it's all for nothing, I've done everything I can to get him back, and I couldn't imagine my existence without him. I've tried everything to stop thinking about him, but I still can't help but miss him and think about him often. I don't know why I am saying this here.
Saying goodbye to someone you love is difficult; I know this from my 12-year relationship ending. But I was unable to simply let him go, so I made every effort to get him back. I eventually sought aid from a spiritual counselor, who was able to help me regain his affection.
I just sought him up online thanks to your helpful information. remarkable I just checked Father Obah Eze online, and he's really genuine. Thank you again ❤
My EX is number 1,2 and 10 - i said enough today. I cut the contact. I feel a bit confused, but I won't lie to myself anymore. I was aware of these red flags for months, but I was hoping she can change. I tried everything. But no, she can't...
Being with my ex narc for the past 8 yrs. made me observe this very pattern. I think they wanted to feel very important in a way that is disturbing. Instead of building trust with their intimate partners, they destroy the trust that they built with you (in that case lying when they tried to put you in their pedestal). Once they have a committed partner, they can’t stand being loved authentically by one person. Instead they go on and prey on other women that is susceptible to their love bombing. My ex narc was a compulsive pursuer in a relationship. He would go back and forth to the women he were involved before or try to meet women in complicated situation so that going public isn’t an option while having you as their main supply. In the end they destroy the very person that loved them. They are like toddlers testing your love for them. Showing and telling them you love them isn’t enough, they will cheat on your face to make you feel inadequate even if you are more than they deserve. They want to test your love for them so they keep hurting you and when you have enough of their abuse, you leave. Then they tell you, ‘you never loved me because you abandon me’. Well in fact it’s their actions and narcissistic behavior that made you leave or in other cases they discard you and will give silly reasons of the discard. Mine would use, ‘she’s crazy’, ‘she’s a nega-star’, ‘she insults me’, ‘she cheated on me’ et al. So with this pattern of infidelities and emotional abuse (who knows what else) it’s better to walk away. I did walk away and is now rebuilding my life with our daughter. We are struggling financially because I’m not earning enough to provide for my daughter but now we get to laugh and bring with us sunshine every day. No lies, no abuse and no fake love. We only live once, forgive yourself and move forward but never forget the lesson that narc abuse taught you. That is to respect yourself to walk away from what’s hurting and destroying you. That you deserve a life of solitude, happiness and love. Hugs*** :) Additionally I got to know about my narc husband bad ways when I reach out to a private detective digitalinvestigate@gmail. com for help he did a perfect work for me I can see everything he’s doing on his device.
Great video! Thank you for confirming my decision to walk away from a very toxic relationship a little over a year ago. Admittedly I let my guard down and ignored many red flags in the beginning. She was 1, 4, 8, and 10 of your list.
Yes! Human behaviour is interesting. But think deeply about your relations, and learn from them. Being abused is a horrible thing. Men and women should think about themselves and about the significant other how they are mentally and emotionally built. Self knowledge and human knowledge in general is a valuable tool here. I was an abuser myself... and now living alone for more than 35 years. I've learned my share. I'm a man, by the way.
Some common sense advice I would give to most young men out there today: 1. Get the idea of love and a soulmate out of your head. It might take a couple of relationships to get to this point but after that realize what relationships really are in todays world. And if you don’t want to participate be strong and stay single 2. Never date up, in other words don’t go for a woman who is so physically attractive that she has 29 other guys on her social media constantly gratifying her and waiting for their turn. Or any exes that she still communicates with. These woman will always allow hypergamy to control their mind so the moment they are unhappy they will take it out on you (wether it’s unhinged anger or passive-aggressive attacks) because they think with all the other options they have they could’ve gotten someone better instead of settling for you 3. Get your life together first. Income, fitness, being self sufficient. Have these things in place before hand. Also your support system. Brother, sister, parent or close friend. You don’t want to be emotionally dependant on your partner and risk becoming isolated or holding on to a toxic relationship for fear of being alone. 4. Don’t ever fight or argue. There will be disagreements of course but too many people stay in toxic relationships where there is a constant see-saw of we’re good then we’re not and back and forth. Most modern woman thrive on arguing and will never stop until they have succeeded in either making you feel dumb, guilty or inadequate. If they are unable to do these things and you win they will simply go silent and not acknowledge that you are right about something. Even worse they will plot some kind of revenge to finally get satisfaction, all the while justifying their own actions in their mind. Have the strength to walk away rather than get stuck in this toxic cycle. There are too many women in the world and life is too short to just settle for this kind of dynamic in a relationship. 5. Be firm with your actions. Don’t ever let violence or uncontrollable anger be the answer. As men, we are always in control of our reality. We use logic over emotion. When it’s a fight or flight scenario, always take the second option. Leave a hostile situation before you make a bad situation worse. If the scenario repeats itself, walk away for good and don’t look back. 6. Set your boundaries early and don’t let anyone cross them. This of course applies to anyone in life but especially in a relationship. Maybe you and your partner don’t get into alot of hyper-charged fights but she is consistently being passive aggressive with you wether it’s with humour, habits or ignoring you at times. Identify it and nip it in the bud or walk away because if you don’t, I guarantee the behaviour will increase over time. Remember, you give an inch and they will take a mile, every single time. Just a reminder to all men out there, even in todays world of equality and the relative guarantee of survival, this has and will always remain true.: Men want women, women need men
Yes, please make the videos you mentioned in the beginning about who gets into toxic relationships and why. Personally, I found this tendency to increase a lot after a toxic job where I became a workaholic
If she is not deeply and openly troubled by other women's unbalanced expectations, or struggles to see abusive or predatory women, you have all you need to know.
Great video Lisa !! Thank you for your help here ! Great perspectives and real world examples of how us men can get ourselves completely upside down in a relationship.....right !! Having the inverse expectations of a significant other completely out of phase while we men think where in phase with our significant others and trying to manage, groom and grow a well footed relationship that's already set up for failure from the start. You have identified the barometer of toxic relationships, spousal manipulation, relationship unhappiness and abuse......You have really brought to light facts and traits that all victims of human trafficking share in. People are unpredictable enough but I think your analysis and video presentation goes farther and certainly deeper to help us men recognize and identify the "signs along the way" that cohesive and manipulative people use as a means for there own personal gain climbing on the shoulders of the ones they " love " . I call this the " fertility of a narcissist and seeds sewn to make the perfect victims for narcissists to feed from. Thanks again and keep it coming! Us men can be nieve !
Wow I'm listening your video with spanish audio. Is that a new RUclips feature? Anyways I'm glad that I can share your videos with spanish speakers, your insights are very valuable. Greetings from Peru
"when someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time".
-Maya Angelou
My ex used this on me as a projection of herself.
every woman will show some traits of these personality types to a certain degree.
This is so true when we thing back our gutts told us something was wrong quite intensely. But we brush it aside.
So true! I wasted a year of my life with jms after she told me she 'had no emotional intelligence' - and she didn't! Should have listened - believe the avoidants when they say something!
Talking it out, might work... It depends on how well you can communicate with each other. If it's more work than it's worth, MOVE ON! I believe people CAN change if it's for the right reasons and it's WORTH IT... Be AUTHENTIC! Then you're not playing the other person, and you know your WORTH! Never lose YOUR VALUE! Some people just aren't worth your time!
*One of the biggest red flags is a woman who’s constantly negative or critical - it drains your energy and impacts your confidence. Surround yourself with people who uplift you and support your growth, not those who bring constant drama!*
That's also a red flag for me as well. Or the need to compare me to an Ex right off the bat on a first date. Thats a huge F-NO! Flag for me lol. It may seem like a compliment to say "you're not like my other ex." But there's a underlying toxic mentality in that person just barely hitting the surface in a subtle way.
My mother
Whats the biggest red flag for us men that women need to look for ?
@DionPryor-j7h Doesn't respect you or your boundaries and doesn't take responsibility for her actions
@meme-zv7kw no you didn't read it right .. if you're a woman what red flags should women have when looking for men.
It’s her birthday today and I’m fighting myself to not call. It feels inhuman to share so much with someone then be forced to share nothing. What a sad state of affairs.
I hope you don't call her. It's not worth getting pulled back in, or disrespected, or toyed with in any way. I know exactly how you feel though. Good luck to you.
Do Not. Just remember how she treated you on other birthdays, maybe even hers. Always contempt and cruelty.
Don't call her. I totally understand what you feel, but it's better to keep the distance. I passed the same a few months ago, and I still I'm struggling with this (even with no contact). Be strong and think in yourself. You will be better with the time.
Don't get confused with how you feel & the way someone makes/made you feel.. Your not missing her, your missing how YOU felt around her.. Don't do it, stay strong brother 🤙
It is not about what
YOU FEEL FOR HER, It is about
HOW SHE MADE AND MAKES YOU FEEL.
Please, take it from an expert.
Let her go.
I escaped a narcissist who was so entitled wanted a man to pay her bills for her, buy her luxury products, nearly killed me trying to please her, she idealised me then devalued me and discarded me, blamed me when I spoke up, shame as I really liked her until the entitlement came about. When you lead with your wallet you’re going to get burned. Since then I came across channels like this, learned about the DSM5 and about attachment theory, narcissism and co-dependency.
Leading with the wallet will always get one burned in the end.
@@sphenoidjjj thankfully I could see it coming but it was like the proverbial frog in the frying pan when someone slowly turns up the heat, sorry but I’m not paying anyone’s rent, maid, buy luxury
products for them, the new supply she got is though. I’m glad I got out and am rebuilding my sanity.
been there, glad not to be there anymore.
Upgradable Simp to pay the bills while Chad plays for free. As you get older you can learn how to trigger her Chad reflex. It’s fun.
To make it easy: don't listen to what women say, judge them by what they do.
Very true, that should include women who watch Housewives...
Very damn true
Even that can be faked
Actions speak louder than words. I've always said this
@RaymondJOConnor ... Dangerous ones 😊
Man, I feel so lucky to have found one without any of these traits in excess... She even calls out herself on her bad behaviours sometimes without me having to say anything. And it happens like 5-10% of the time we're interacting. Truly a keeper...
I'm so jealous, you better take good care of her. 👍
How long have ya'll currently been together? I'm just saying, watch out, when I was married I thought I had a keeper too. She didn't show me who she was until 5 years later and she started listening to Tik Tok and her sister. Now we are divorced and she's at the club right now with her sister.
😂😂😂
Why are you even here 😂😂
@@davidwarburton1453 Jesus.
Here are mine condensed to four. Works 100%
4.) Lacks self-curiosity and interest in personal growth, and enjoys talking smack about others. Why look at yourself when other people are always the problem?
3. Poor interpersonal boundaries. Their own and for you. Do they push your boundaries? If they do, can they accept "no" without projecting FOGS on you, even subtly? (FOGS: Fear, Obligation, Guilt, Shame). Women test instinctively. It's expected, but a sane one will respect you more for having firm boundaries. If you don't understand what boundaries are, learn, and be sure you actually have them, no matter how hot she is. Do you say "no", when you know that "no" is the right answer for you?
2. Flakiness - Unreliable, inconsistent, full of excuses, lies, blames others, the world, friends, their boss, planetary alignments, and you for whatever makes them feel bad, which leads us to #1
1. Lack of accountability - Nothing is ever their fault
This combo gets you someone, who is unreliable, refuses to own their own sh!t, and invites you to own it for them. If you accept the challenge and choose to play their game, welcome to Cluster B personality disorder hell. The choice is your's. Choose wisely. You get what you let.
Well written. I wish I'd seen all these videos and your comment before The Demon.
Hang on, thats all women, can you narrow it down a bit please
Facts sad in 2024 with most women are like this
This applies to all genders. I’ve experienced all points you have outlined, with men.
@@mukesh.dhimar we never know this things, before it happens to us. That you are here now, to learn and to grow is a direct consequence of what happend. 1 year ago, it happend to me and i invested all my time, in becoming my best version. Ive met someone like this again, 6 weeks ago and it did not catch me anymore. Become the man you want to see next to the woman you want to be with
Peace of mind is more important than finding a partner. Better to be single and content than unhappy in a relationship, All said and done, it is ultimately ourselves that we have to live with.
This ☝
As a woman who wants the best for the men & boys of the world, I approve this video!
The brotherhood would protect you by all cost🤗
I listen to your videos and I just nod my head up and down and keep saying "Yep, Yep, Yep, definitely, big time!!" Thanks for your work, there's plenty of us out there. Mine was 30 years ago and I am still haunted by that woman in my heart.
I've got myself a micro-manager
I have been divorced for almost 20 years now. I can honestly say they have been the best 20 years of my life.
With my 74 years of living behind me I think I can honestly say you hit every woman in the world in one way or another.
Now isn’t that a sad state of affairs? 🤷♂️
@@DrRock2009Yep 🤷♂️
nice
Yupperoni
😂
I see why BPD is so critical, basically the ten types of women described here are the traits of a woman with BPD.
Yeah, or NPD. Same boat, different colour.
Or both...NPD & BPD....mine had a several disorders. Histrionic, OCD, ADHD.
@@clintonnagy1662 sounds like she had purple hair
@@clintonnagy1662 Got ya beat.. BPD-NPD-OCD-Bi Polar-ADHD
My ex-wife was almost all of the women described here. If only I'd seen Lise's videos earlier, I might not have thrown 20 years of my life away. I eventually broke free but only when my daughter was grown up. I stayed because I wanted her to have a father. Breaking away is brutal, though. I'm 68 and still in pain. These videos help me to understand that I wasn't crazy, and that I did the right thing in the end in spite of all the suffering.
Yup! How many good men put up with a covert narcissist and their daughters don't even know the personal sacrifice they endured to avoid being a 'step door dad' an undeserved fate of so many good men. Stay 💪 strong. There is a silent majority out there sharing your pain.
@BubbaWhite-indie You are right, my daughter will never know what I endured. Mostly because I would never say anything against her mother in front of her. And for good reason because she loves her mother just as we all did. It would be wrong to drag my daughter onto the battlefield. As husbands and fathers we have to be stoic and suffer in silence. That's why I appreciate the work Lise is doing. It validates everything that went on in our lives. The confusion, the loneliness, the sheer heartlessness of it all. It's telling, though, that my daughter, who is now 20 years old, has chosen to live with me in my little two room apartment, rather than in the family home she grew up in which is occupied solo by my ex- wife. And not through any prompting on my side. She made this choice all on her own.
@@lesilluminations1this is amazing. Although you didn't say anything to her, she knows. Your daughter knows!
Exactly my own experience, practically word for word!
❤@@lesilluminations1
The key phase i heard from this "be honest with yourself"
There's no women left after that rundown !
Lol!
Lol I sort of thought the same thing.
I think the key is to find someone who is actively working on their issues or to heal yourself so well that women with toxic traits aren't even attractive to you anymore.
You win the Kewpie doll!
Extinction is coming.
Your work is phenomenal! It helped me to identify a covert narcissistic women that I've been dating. It saved me from so much trouble.
This is factual. It help me a lot too. Very grateful.
She helped me immensely as well. She is factual, honest and cuts to the chase.
Men, if you want to overcome the struggle put it in perspective (this has helped me)… You want a woman that respects you more than she loves you. If she respects you, she will show her love and always remain in line. If she doesn’t respect you, just walk away. Give up on the idea of romantic love and you will save yourself a lot of time and energy. You will also attract a more suitable partner as you will sniff the bs out much quicker. Know thyself
What did you mean by in line.? Also what is your definition of respect everyone has a different example of this.
These are always so spot on. I see most or all of these things in virtually every woman I have ever dealt with, unfortunately. Good luck finding one that’s different gents.
@@em7937 It's usually because we are used to nothing but toxicity, and the balanced women you speak of comprise less than 5% of what is out there. I truly hate this reality, but it is the reality.
As a man fresh into his forties, I value my peace & quiet and no longer have any interest in getting involved with another toxic woman again.
And regarding toxic exes: Never play with trash once it's in the garbage. Let the garbage men deal with it.
Heh heh, that’s a good one to remember l! Thanks! 👍
Same story here. Peace freedom & quiet
Same.
Happy to have reached this place in my 20s :)
@@michaelthomas1614 if you are in your 20's right now it's not a big surprise as there are more toxic women now then ever before plus information available online to inform you against abusive superficial women.
Purely platonic relationship between man and woman is not just rare, it's rare like 1% of all relationship. There's always the underlying intention, whoever is saying the opposite is eighter ignorant or haven't seen enough of life. Thanks for the great work Lise!
I have many female friends I have no sexual interest in. I only find a few women sexually attractive and have no desire to involve myself with women I'm not attracted to. I guess there could be some attraction the other way around with some of them, and generally I find men better company and more interesting, but I only wish I found so many women attractive that it was hard just being friends with the vast majority of them.
@@jakelesnake4927 the attraction goes at least one way, this is the point of the problem... it doesnt need to go both ways for there to be a real problem, as long as one of the friends finds the other attractive, then is a problem if youre in a relationship, youre partner will not like it.
I am a single man with several good platonic relationships with women. The one common factor is, they are all wives of good friends of mine.
@@DerFleisch Of course, when that stage comes you can have closer relationships with women. Still, I doubt that you go on coffee with them every day when their man is not around
Lise, thank you for creating these videos. It’s been nearly three years for me now, and while I’ve come a long way, there are still moments when I experience periods of anxiety tied to the difficult times I had with my ex who has BPD. As a physician, I recognized early during the relationship that she met the criteria for BPD and also NPD traits, yet, unfortunately for reasons such as codependency, I continued the relationship. It lasted two years and was marked by multiple instances of being discarded by her until I took the step to finish the relationship . Your videos have been invaluable in my healing process, and I often revisit them whenever I feel myself slipping back into old feelings. Thank you again for your support and insights.
What you need in a relationship is love, respect and communication from both. Otherwise it won't work and isn't likely worth it.
In addition, I would think that you need a common goal that you are both working toward.
At 38, after countless rejections and one 6 year pointless relationships, I am now seriously looking into retiring alone as dealing with women is simply not worth it.
You’ll retire rich
I want to comfort You! There is a swedish proverb:" Its better to have failed than to never fail!" .This means, even if we got heart sores, we have lived a various and partly interesting and various lives!
Hey Lise, I know your content is primarily aimed at men, but as a young woman who watches your videos, I just want to say thank you. I recently broke up with my malignant narcissist boyfriend, and although I know I made the right choice, it’s been challenging. The emotional and verbal abuse, and even the beginnings of physical abuse, were taking a toll on my well-being, leaving me with anxiety, depression, and constant self-doubt. I kept asking myself, “What did I do wrong? Why is he being so cold and distant?” and “What happened to the seemingly sweet man I started to fall for?”
Your videos have been a much-needed reminder that it wasn’t anything I said or did. This is just how they treat people once the lovebombing fades and you’re no longer the shiny new object. Thank you for helping me see things clearly.
❤
💯
What I learned today:
1. Confirmation for red flags that I noticed, with some new connections this year.
2. When a romantic interest is actively not making time to communicate adequately, often making excuses to not show up with fair effort for connection. Run! Quickly, and moved forward towards a future woman that is ready to commit. 😮💨
3. A whole lot more, but I'll stop here.
#RecoveringHeart from Inconsistent people.
#Learn&Grow
#NoRepeats
"if you want to keep your sanity" ... love it!
Also women who won't give up ex-partners. My girlfriend just couldn't give up an ex-partner, she spoke about this guy constantly, rang and texted him, invited him to parties. Exes are a real big red flag and I'm never ever going to date a woman who's still hung up on an ex. GREAT BIG RED FLAG!
Thank you, because it's been crazy trying to help myself. Hard to feel supported after the trauma gets you to believe otherwise.
Everytime I listen to you... it's like a revelation... like you were there when I was going through the tides... I at first loved the challenge.. you know maybe I can change her...maybe she need a good man .. one who can make her forget all the "animals" that hurt her... bro save your life... be that nice to yourself...#Properreigns
This captivating video triggers a flood of painful memories from the end of my 6 year relationship just three months ago. The woman I loved with all my heart chose to walk away, leaving me grappling with an insurmountable sense of loss. Despite my relentless efforts to salvage what we had, I'm left feeling disillusioned and unable to imagine a future without her. Despite my attempts to move on , I'm drawn to express my deep-seated longing for her here .
The struggle to release someone dear to your heart is undeniably arduous. I empathize, having experienced a similar circumstance when my 8 year relationship concluded. Refusing to accept defeat, I pursued every conceivable avenue to reclaim his affection. Eventually, I sought the assistance of a spiritual counselor, whose wisdom and intervention played a pivotal role in reuniting us.
Where did you find a spiritual counselor, and how can I get in touch with her?
Suzanne Ann Walters is the name of an exceptional spiritual counselor renowned for her ability to reunite you with your former partner.
Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked her up now online.
Aww wow I feel your pain I was in love with this girl for years wishing id have a chance before I die to be with her .
Well 12 months ago she finally came into my life.
Just to find out she a narcissist the love of my life since we were kids turned out to be a nightmare
Without communication. there is no relationship.
Without respect, there is no love.
Without trust, there is no reason to continue.
Brilliant this.
@@mukesh.dhimar That's what I thought. Wish had wrote it. Author unknown to me.
@@katray7452 It's OK though. You're spreading it. Thank you.
Exciting video, A year ago I took the no contact route, well i wouldnt say it didnt go well, but i missed her and sometimes you have to leave your comfort zone and go for what you want, Without knowing and having a huge ego, we might actually miss out on our soul mate all in the name of not settling for less, I know who i am, and at the same time i know what i want for me, so i did all i could to get her back, and I must say, it was the best decision i have ever made, we have been together again for over 7 months, yes marriage isnt always rosey, but i am lucky to have her, just as she is to have me, we compliment each other.
its difficult to let go of someone you love, i am in a similar situation, and i do not know what else do to have him back, i have been dying inside, people actually think i am happy, i am not.
I feel your pain sister , after trying out the no contact experiment that failed miserably, i had to find other means, i had to reach out to a spiritual adviser, it was brilliant idea which i never thought it was, but it worked wonders for me.
Amazing, how did you get a spiritual counselor, and how do i reach him/ her?
Her name is Shelly renee white , and she is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.
Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked her up now online. impressive
This is a hard one. I think everyone falls into at least one of these categories.
Exactly, why I think what she says is completely lucrative for her.
The first toxic woman I dated after my wife died continued to call me, and send cards and letters up to seven years after I dumped her crazy ass. I dumped six more crazy ass women after her over the following ten years. I'm done now. I had my unicorn, and the rest can be as toxic as they want away from me and my life. Been content for two years now deliberately turning down opportunities, and avoiding jumping back in that cesspool. Onward.
I’m coming to grips with the reality of reactive abuse. After finding years' worth of betrayal-evidence of my wife’s affairs stretching back over a decade-I lost my cool, which landed me in jail. As much as that hurt, these 30 days of separation have brought me a strange sense of peace. Being away has made me see her manipulation clearly, the way she kicks people when they’re down, the way she’s turned that cruelty on me now. She’s likely waiting for me to come back, ready to restart her cycle of control and deceit.
But I’m done. I don’t need to fight for my things or step back into her prison. Maybe it’s best to let it all go, to walk away for good. This separation may have saved me, forced me to break free from her grasp. I see her for who she is now, and I’m choosing to move forward without her.
Sounds like you are doing the correct thing by staying away from her. You've recognised the cycle of her abuse. How did you find out about the affairs btw?
Well done brother 🔥
Next time it will be more than 30 days - AVOID at all costs.
Sometimes time away makes you see things much clearly. Stay strong.
@@sphenoidjjj Having shared access to her phone, I was able to go in settings, accounts, and backup and restore all messages. I was able to see the entirety of the text thread.
I've dated most of these types of women!!!! And have concluded, there are no normal women out there!!!! Have been single for 5+ years now, and love the peace I have in my home now!
Yes, my experience also. At least 50% are cluster B. It's archtypical and they have different brains and susceptible to emotional dysregulation. Men have issues too. Collectively it's why thecworld gone right wing, refusal to grow up.
Some of us ladies are good and still out here saying the same things. I just had this discussion with a male cousin of mine last night. It's too bad we non-disorded folks with integrity and kind hearts can't seem to find each other easier. 😢
@npkrn6764
Well said! 😊👍
The thing is, most of the good ones get snapped up when they're young... leaving fewer good matches and more bad ones.
I own my own home and I have it fixed up just the way I like it. I had one home taken from me. It won't happen ever again. I don't hate women, I just don't want to be bothered.
LOVE YOURSELF FIRST BEFORE LOVING ANOTHER .... be at the best for yourself ....
Never underestimate the strength needed to leave and stay gone from a toxic woman irrespective of the strength you believe you have. Best to listen to this and leave them the hell alone. Unfortunately, people don't come with warning labels. At least nature colors and marks venomous plants and animals as a warning. Not so with humans.
Wow, this was an absolutely fantastic run down of what can potentially be experienced. Concise, accurate, well explained. Thank you Lise! it's rare to find such straight forward, no filler relationship related info online lately with all the click bait, viral wording and drawn out length. Much appreciated!
All good advice for men and women. Now, the tough part is to hold back from making excuses that the person isn’t what they are demonstrating themselves to be while not being overreacting and paranoid. Learn to be honest with yourself and recognize things for what they are without immediate judgement nor analysis. Then, put them together and decide if you’re in a bad relationship. If you think you are, you probably are.
Really useful video. thank you. We all try to see the good in others when dating, however avoiding being ensnared with these types is the classic "an ounce of prevention is worth a TON of cure."
My list.
1. Long fingernails
2. Visible make up
3. High heels
4. Restrictive clothing
5. Inpracticality and lack of common sense.
Thank you so much for your expertise! Ex fit every single one of these, but im out of shawshank! Im Free!
These are the best cutscenes ever. Props to whoever edits your vids
Where do we find a woman that isn't at least one of these?
In the1950's??
Yeah, I feel like if you're dealing with less than 3 of these issues, you're probably doing better than the majority of us.
@@LastEarBenderyeah it’s always spectrum. For me personally, only 2 would be great as long as it’s not too severe
Fairytale novels.
North Korea
1) Saved the drama for her bf (YOU)
2) Control freak
3) Me me me
4) For the streets
5) Mental health/Addiction issues untreated
6) Gold digger / Sugar baby
7) Chronic victim
8) Attention seeker
9) Dependant/Insecure
10) Hot & cold / push-pull
Don't forget the women that bring too much baggage eg credit card debt, student debt, kids from previous relationships, big body counts or even poisonous mothers or sisters.
The guy with the chart explaining the unicorn theory was awesome!!
It's called The Hot Crazy Matrix. Well done and really funny.
You just described every woman. I'll stay single thanks.
I was about to write that before I saw your comment. 😂
Pretty much
You hit the nail right on the head. Stay single! That's the key!
Not every woman is like this, just as not every man is an abuser. One requires discernment to distinguish between them.
Does that include your mother, grandmother and sister? Perhaps you need to work on yourself if you only attract bad women.
If you were happier before you met her, just leave so you can be happy again. See, it's that simple.
So, in other words, want a good healthy relationship, dudes? Forget it.
Just dealt with a woman displaying a few of these characteristics while blaming my toxicity while I have gone back to therapy she refused herself as she had it figured out. Constantly manipulative, moody, and unwilling to look at her behavior. Its hard but you have to put your mental health first and walk away.
I thought my ex was a 10/10 - this brings a whole new perspective to that expression!
@em7937 I literally was assaulted by her, had money stolen, blackmailed, extorted, publicly humiliated, etc. I It's a figure of speech commonly used, and clearly, this wasn't used seriously but rather as a pun in reference to the video listing 10 elements.
For perspective, you're out here defending an extremely abusive person because what? Her victim used an idiom you don't like? And *I'm* the bad person?
Toxic people is perhaps a better label
I appreciate everything you've uploaded! You've helped me to identify I was with a pretty narcissistic woman and you helped me get out of that! Thank you for what you do!!!
Thank you so much for the work you do!
I'm about 8 years out and in a good place these days. Some therapy, many books, videos like yours, and determination to recognize the red flags have set me free.
Guys, listen and embrace what Lisa is sharing with the world and get out.
Lisa, your inner and outer beauty are amazing!
Thanks from Texas, Eric ✌️ n ❤
Your video “Ten Signs You Are In A Narcissist Relationship”, truly opened my eyes.
I watched it because in my “relationship”, I had been accused of being a narcissistic. You helped me realize that I had ascribed vaguely to two of those characteristics. By the time I had finished the video you had completely described the entirety of my treatment during that period.
I love how self-aware you are. Below 5 on the crazy scale is rare indeed.
Great message Lise. This is like the Bible of when to run. Hope you are well. Love from Australia 🇦🇺
Very good description. 100% truth, only problem is, that you see all these "traits" when you live with her - or better said to late.
Absolutely! I wouldn't advocate living with someone before tying the knot buuut it might give you a little bit more insight before going 'legal' which essential what marriage is.
The first thing a man should look at in a relationship is her mother. If she has a bad relationship with her mother, then that is a red flag 🚩 to leave her right away.
💭
Some say the same about a woman's relationship with her father.
I deeply value your insight and what you offer. I've learned so much from you and have avoided several toxic women in my dating life. I know it's better to remain single, than settle for a toxic parter. I am holding out hope to finding a good woman in my life time. Great things come to those who wait.
I kid you not, my ex bpd gf checked every one of these boxes 😂 surviving a relationship like that is eye opening and life changing. Always pay attention to these red flags, dont burry your head from love bombing guys
I hear you, I have a neighbor that works next door and her aggressive ain't so passive. Sometimes we see the red flags and start making discreet adjustments and they get more intense plushy and annoying.
It's not just obvious stuff like sex and money. None of that here they might just want to utilize your skill set or name drop. They have a problem with becoming too personal and uncomfortably familiar. By now we already know we don't want contact while they're having their secret celebration thinking they have a big fish on the line. Plain annoying.
My ex pwBPD checked a lot of of these boxes. We’ve been broke up for four months now. I’m still dealing with the trauma from the relationship. I definitely ignored the red flags and now I regret that I had.
Same, same. The recovery is hard. Take good care of yourself and honour your truth, my friend.
Sending vibes my dude cause I know that feel 🖖🏽❤️
Wow!! She was 10/10 on your examples. I stuck thru cuz she has heart issue but in end had to look out for myself. She will find other help from other men like she said many times.#8 Always had guy friends in the loop, went online found herself a sugar daddy cuz she in entitled and I couldn’t pay for the things she wanted . I did everything for her but was never enough for her. Manipulated, micro managed my time, my eyes were open but stuck thru cuz her health and struggle. Took advantage of my empathy. Discarded me as soon as I was worn out and needed time for myself. I walked away. Relationships are 2 way street. Too many details to list but there’s one for every # you mentioned
Oh my goodness . You’ve nailed it young lady .
Towards the end she mentions mixed signals. Anything less than enthusiasm, just walk. If she wants to be with you, she will make it obvious. Wife material will be easy to deal with and drama free. Any games, drama, pettiness, jealousy, keep it moving or fun only.
LOL! Finding a woman that hasn't got two or more of these traits is harder than winning the lottery 😂
My ex was easily 5 or 6 of these. Unfortunately I fell for the bs that her exs had hurt her and this was the reason for her behaviour. I couldn't fix her but she certainly broke me. Walk away.
@@JohnSmith-wo7ns yeah, you want to help them but if it hurts you, it’s not worth it. I tried and it emotionally wrecked me. I feel conflicted about feeling bad for her. She chose pride and ego over being with me
@Karll541 they start with lies about their exs, we want to show her not all men are bad so try to fix her. Its impossible! They aren't interested in a loving supportive relationship. They're looking to control and manipulate. They're offered all the love in the world but it's never enough. Impossible.
True indeed, I've experienced it. I've been blocked for a month now but she call me. 5 years roller coaster ride and just learned about BPD six months ago. I lost myself.
@isolamii it's so difficult but try to stay away.
@@JohnSmith-wo7ns yes it’s sad. I can’t imagine living like they do and being completely blind to who they really are
Thank you. There truly isn't enough resources like this for men. I am leaning some of these for the first time at the age of 43.
I learned the hard way twice that “victim” types in need of rescue are always sociopathic narcissists.
It’s crazy how I’m noticing the push pull dynamic from my younger niece in how she manipulates her family members. Something tells me some of these behaviors have a genetic trait to them.
I've thought so too!
Thank you for this. Recent relationship had all these traits. Currently getting out now and its difficult. Feels like your personally talking about my relationship lol
3 days after officially being in a relationship, she punished me with distance all day long and with stuff like "No touching today. Don't come too close to me. The place where that happened yesterday is forever taboo now and I wont go there with you ever again.".
This punishment happened after I didnt touch her legs 1 day earlier, after we met and sat down together.
She stood up like after 5-10 seconds and said "Ok. I am going now".
Just because I didnt lay my hand on her legs.
The same day, when we tried to sleep together, I was so frustrated and it was an emotional rollercoaster.
I didnt understand what the hell is going on and why is all of this happening?
I saw myself as a failure and started to see myself as the problem.
I tried to never do the same mistakes ever again.
Later that day she wanted to sleep with me, I was so frustrated and it didnt work.
Afterwards she said to my face "my heart has feelings for you, but my body moves you into the friendzone".
We got together 3 days before all of this and she said that to my face.
At that point... I didnt know anymore.
I was losing myself and I started to see myself as a failure.
Was it really my fault?
Why did all of this happen?
I still dont understand any of it....
We are not in a relationship anymore. She broke up with me after I lied to her, because I exploded one day.
I swallowed so much inside, I never wanted to hurt her, but I literally exploded and couldnt control myself anymore.
Even my mom couldnt recognize me anymore and she noticed that I was acting like a different person...
Brown eye ?
@ what do you mean?
Wow! That's almost like a poem. A Shakespeare Tragedy!
Her Indoors watches the toxic content of Eastenders on repeat and then reenacts it in her own life and she doesn't even know it.
You might be an empathetic person, and maybe have some co dependancy issues. Look into it. It's worth knowing yourself.
Amazing video A month ago, my partnership of five years came to an end. The choice to break up with the person I love is something that really gets to me. Even though it's all for nothing, I've done everything I can to get him back, and I couldn't imagine my existence without him. I've tried everything to stop thinking about him, but I still can't help but miss him and think about him often. I don't know why I am saying this here.
Saying goodbye to someone you love is difficult; I know this from my 12-year relationship ending. But I was unable to simply let him go, so I made every effort to get him back. I eventually sought aid from a spiritual counselor, who was able to help me regain his affection.
It's interesting! How can I contact a spiritual counselor most efficiently, and how did you find one?
Father Obah Eze is a wonderful spiritual counselor who has the ability to bring back your ex.
He can assist you; he is Father Obah Eze, and he possesses immense powers.
I just sought him up online thanks to your helpful information. remarkable
I just checked Father Obah Eze online, and he's really genuine. Thank you again ❤
My EX is number 1,2 and 10 - i said enough today. I cut the contact. I feel a bit confused, but I won't lie to myself anymore. I was aware of these red flags for months, but I was hoping she can change. I tried everything. But no, she can't...
Being with my ex narc for the past 8 yrs. made me observe this very pattern. I think they wanted to feel very important in a way that is disturbing. Instead of building trust with their intimate partners, they destroy the trust that they built with you (in that case lying when they tried to put you in their pedestal). Once they have a committed partner, they can’t stand being loved authentically by one person. Instead they go on and prey on other women that is susceptible to their love bombing. My ex narc was a compulsive pursuer in a relationship. He would go back and forth to the women he were involved before or try to meet women in complicated situation so that going public isn’t an option while having you as their main supply. In the end they destroy the very person that loved them. They are like toddlers testing your love for them. Showing and telling them you love them isn’t enough, they will cheat on your face to make you feel inadequate even if you are more than they deserve. They want to test your love for them so they keep hurting you and when you have enough of their abuse, you leave. Then they tell you, ‘you never loved me because you abandon me’. Well in fact it’s their actions and narcissistic behavior that made you leave or in other cases they discard you and will give silly reasons of the discard. Mine would use, ‘she’s crazy’, ‘she’s a nega-star’, ‘she insults me’, ‘she cheated on me’ et al. So with this pattern of infidelities and emotional abuse (who knows what else) it’s better to walk away. I did walk away and is now rebuilding my life with our daughter. We are struggling financially because I’m not earning enough to provide for my daughter but now we get to laugh and bring with us sunshine every day. No lies, no abuse and no fake love. We only live once, forgive yourself and move forward but never forget the lesson that narc abuse taught you. That is to respect yourself to walk away from what’s hurting and destroying you. That you deserve a life of solitude, happiness and love. Hugs*** :) Additionally I got to know about my narc husband bad ways when I reach out to a private detective digitalinvestigate@gmail. com for help he did a perfect work for me I can see everything he’s doing on his device.
Great video! Thank you for confirming my decision to walk away from a very toxic relationship a little over a year ago. Admittedly I let my guard down and ignored many red flags in the beginning. She was 1, 4, 8, and 10 of your list.
Watch out, the narcissist is usually all ten.
Yes! Human behaviour is interesting. But think deeply about your relations, and learn from them. Being abused is a horrible thing. Men and women should think about themselves and about the significant other how they are mentally and emotionally built. Self knowledge and human knowledge in general is a valuable tool here. I was an abuser myself... and now living alone for more than 35 years. I've learned my share. I'm a man, by the way.
They always have
' friends ' on call🎉
No problem, most avoid me.
You just identified all the women out there...LOL! Guess I'll just stay single
well said im 60 and have had enough of toxic drama queen women 💯
Bullseye. Remarkably helpful. Thank you
Thank you for your positive feedback!
Some common sense advice I would give to most young men out there today:
1. Get the idea of love and a soulmate out of your head. It might take a couple of relationships to get to this point but after that realize what relationships really are in todays world. And if you don’t want to participate be strong and stay single
2. Never date up, in other words don’t go for a woman who is so physically attractive that she has 29 other guys on her social media constantly gratifying her and waiting for their turn. Or any exes that she still communicates with. These woman will always allow hypergamy to control their mind so the moment they are unhappy they will take it out on you (wether it’s unhinged anger or passive-aggressive attacks) because they think with all the other options they have they could’ve gotten someone better instead of settling for you
3. Get your life together first. Income, fitness, being self sufficient. Have these things in place before hand. Also your support system. Brother, sister, parent or close friend. You don’t want to be emotionally dependant on your partner and risk becoming isolated or holding on to a toxic relationship for fear of being alone.
4. Don’t ever fight or argue. There will be disagreements of course but too many people stay in toxic relationships where there is a constant see-saw of we’re good then we’re not and back and forth. Most modern woman thrive on arguing and will never stop until they have succeeded in either making you feel dumb, guilty or inadequate. If they are unable to do these things and you win they will simply go silent and not acknowledge that you are right about something. Even worse they will plot some kind of revenge to finally get satisfaction, all the while justifying their own actions in their mind. Have the strength to walk away rather than get stuck in this toxic cycle. There are too many women in the world and life is too short to just settle for this kind of dynamic in a relationship.
5. Be firm with your actions. Don’t ever let violence or uncontrollable anger be the answer. As men, we are always in control of our reality. We use logic over emotion. When it’s a fight or flight scenario, always take the second option. Leave a hostile situation before you make a bad situation worse. If the scenario repeats itself, walk away for good and don’t look back.
6. Set your boundaries early and don’t let anyone cross them. This of course applies to anyone in life but especially in a relationship. Maybe you and your partner don’t get into alot of hyper-charged fights but she is consistently being passive aggressive with you wether it’s with humour, habits or ignoring you at times. Identify it and nip it in the bud or walk away because if you don’t, I guarantee the behaviour will increase over time. Remember, you give an inch and they will take a mile, every single time.
Just a reminder to all men out there, even in todays world of equality and the relative guarantee of survival, this has and will always remain true.:
Men want women, women need men
amazing video, it says it all! great work
I have met a couple of those online, different women, but they had some of those traits. It's so much better to be single and on my own.
Yes, please make the videos you mentioned in the beginning about who gets into toxic relationships and why. Personally, I found this tendency to increase a lot after a toxic job where I became a workaholic
If she is not deeply and openly troubled by other women's unbalanced expectations, or struggles to see abusive or predatory women, you have all you need to know.
So correct.
Lise you are amazing. Love your videos. Keep up the great work!
Good analysis. Although, by the time that you are aware you are with one of the "10 types," it is too late. She will devour your soul. 😈
2:56 "capture it safely" lol
All my previous partners were either attention seekers, micromanagers, or had multiple exes. Everything she says about them is spot on.
all of these describe borderline personality disorder. i learned it the hard way
Great video Lisa !! Thank you for your help here ! Great perspectives and real world examples of how us men can get ourselves completely upside down in a relationship.....right !! Having the inverse expectations of a significant other completely out of phase while we men think where in phase with our significant others and trying to manage, groom and grow a well footed relationship that's already set up for failure from the start. You have identified the barometer of toxic relationships, spousal manipulation, relationship unhappiness and abuse......You have really brought to light facts and traits that all victims of human trafficking share in. People are unpredictable enough but I think your analysis and video presentation goes farther and certainly deeper to help us men recognize and identify the "signs along the way" that cohesive and manipulative people use as a means for there own personal gain climbing on the shoulders of the ones they " love " . I call this the " fertility of a narcissist and seeds sewn to make the perfect victims for narcissists to feed from. Thanks again and keep it coming! Us men can be nieve !
Wow I'm listening your video with spanish audio. Is that a new RUclips feature? Anyways I'm glad that I can share your videos with spanish speakers, your insights are very valuable. Greetings from Peru
All my exes and dates had 3 or 4 of the types mentioned here. Striking but I'm much more happy being single than being in a relationship.
ABSOLUTELY TRUE.
Except #8 & #10 my ex was a combination of all😅
I am flabbergasted that i am still sane and functioning…
One woman...so many of these situations 😊