So true! I wasted a year of my life with jms after she told me she 'had no emotional intelligence' - and she didn't! Should have listened - believe the avoidants when they say something!
Talking it out, might work... It depends on how well you can communicate with each other. If it's more work than it's worth, MOVE ON! I believe people CAN change if it's for the right reasons and it's WORTH IT... Be AUTHENTIC! Then you're not playing the other person, and you know your WORTH! Never lose YOUR VALUE! Some people just aren't worth your time!
*One of the biggest red flags is a woman who’s constantly negative or critical - it drains your energy and impacts your confidence. Surround yourself with people who uplift you and support your growth, not those who bring constant drama!*
That's also a red flag for me as well. Or the need to compare me to an Ex right off the bat on a first date. Thats a huge F-NO! Flag for me lol. It may seem like a compliment to say "you're not like my other ex." But there's a underlying toxic mentality in that person just barely hitting the surface in a subtle way.
Men, if you want to overcome the struggle put it in perspective (this has helped me)… You want a woman that respects you more than she loves you. If she respects you, she will show her love and always remain in line. If she doesn’t respect you, just walk away. Give up on the idea of romantic love and you will save yourself a lot of time and energy. You will also attract a more suitable partner as you will sniff the bs out much quicker. Know thyself
As a man fresh into his forties, I value my peace & quiet and no longer have any interest in getting seriously involved with another toxic woman again. And regarding toxic exes: Never play with trash once it's in the garbage. Let the garbage men deal with it.
Here are mine condensed to four. Works 100% 4.) Lacks self-curiosity and interest in personal growth, and enjoys talking smack about others. Why look at yourself when other people are always the problem? 3. Poor interpersonal boundaries. Their own and for you. Do they push your boundaries? If they do, can they accept "no" without projecting FOGS on you, even subtly? (FOGS: Fear, Obligation, Guilt, Shame). Women test instinctively. It's expected, but a sane one will respect you more for having firm boundaries. If you don't understand what boundaries are, learn, and be sure you actually have them, no matter how hot she is. Do you say "no", when you know that "no" is the right answer for you? 2. Flakiness - Unreliable, inconsistent, full of excuses, lies, blames others, the world, friends, their boss, planetary alignments, and you for whatever makes them feel bad, which leads us to #1 1. Lack of accountability - Nothing is ever their fault This combo gets you someone, who is unreliable, refuses to own their own sh!t, and invites you to own it for them. If you accept the challenge and choose to play their game, welcome to Cluster B personality disorder hell. The choice is your's. Choose wisely. You get what you let.
@@mukesh.dhimar we never know this things, before it happens to us. That you are here now, to learn and to grow is a direct consequence of what happend. 1 year ago, it happend to me and i invested all my time, in becoming my best version. Ive met someone like this again, 6 weeks ago and it did not catch me anymore. Become the man you want to see next to the woman you want to be with
I escaped a narcissist who was so entitled wanted a man to pay her bills for her, buy her luxury products, nearly killed me trying to please her, she idealised me then devalued me and discarded me, blamed me when I spoke up, shame as I really liked her until the entitlement came about. When you lead with your wallet you’re going to get burned. Since then I came across channels like this, learned about the DSM5 and about attachment theory, narcissism and co-dependency.
@@sphenoidjjj thankfully I could see it coming but it was like the proverbial frog in the frying pan when someone slowly turns up the heat, sorry but I’m not paying anyone’s rent, maid, buy luxury products for them, the new supply she got is though. I’m glad I got out and am rebuilding my sanity.
Hey Lise, I know your content is primarily aimed at men, but as a young woman who watches your videos, I just want to say thank you. I recently broke up with my malignant narcissist boyfriend, and although I know I made the right choice, it’s been challenging. The emotional and verbal abuse, and even the beginnings of physical abuse, were taking a toll on my well-being, leaving me with anxiety, depression, and constant self-doubt. I kept asking myself, “What did I do wrong? Why is he being so cold and distant?” and “What happened to the seemingly sweet man I started to fall for?” Your videos have been a much-needed reminder that it wasn’t anything I said or did. This is just how they treat people once the lovebombing fades and you’re no longer the shiny new object. Thank you for helping me see things clearly.
I listen to your videos and I just nod my head up and down and keep saying "Yep, Yep, Yep, definitely, big time!!" Thanks for your work, there's plenty of us out there. Mine was 30 years ago and I am still haunted by that woman in my heart.
Peace of mind is more important than finding a partner. Better to be single and content than unhappy in a relationship, All said and done, it is ultimately ourselves that we have to live with.
My ex-wife was almost all of the women described here. If only I'd seen Lisa's videos earlier, I might not have thrown 20 years of my life away. I eventually broke free but only when my daughter was grown up. I stayed because I wanted her to have a father. Breaking away is brutal, though. I'm 68 and still in pain. These videos help me to understand that I wasn't crazy, and that I did the right thing in the end in spite of all the suffering.
Yup! How many good men put up with a covert narcissist and their daughters don't even know the personal sacrifice they endured to avoid being a 'step door dad' an undeserved fate of so many good men. Stay 💪 strong. There is a silent majority out there sharing your pain.
@BubbaWhite-indie You are right, my daughter will never know what I endured. Mostly because I would never say anything against her mother in front of her. And for good reason because she loves her mother just as we all did. It would be wrong to drag my daughter onto the battlefield. As husbands and fathers we have to be stoic and suffer in silence. That's why I appreciate the work Lisa is doing. It validates everything that went on in our lives. The confusion, the loneliness, the sheer heartlessness of it all. It's telling, though, that my daughter, who is now 20 years old, has chosen to live with me in my little two room apartment, rather than in the family home she grew up in which is occupied solo by my ex- wife. And not through any prompting on my side. She made this choice all on her own.
These are always so spot on. I see most or all of these things in virtually every woman I have ever dealt with, unfortunately. Good luck finding one that’s different gents.
It’s her birthday today and I’m fighting myself to not call. It feels inhuman to share so much with someone then be forced to share nothing. What a sad state of affairs.
I hope you don't call her. It's not worth getting pulled back in, or disrespected, or toyed with in any way. I know exactly how you feel though. Good luck to you.
Don't call her. I totally understand what you feel, but it's better to keep the distance. I passed the same a few months ago, and I still I'm struggling with this (even with no contact). Be strong and think in yourself. You will be better with the time.
Don't get confused with how you feel & the way someone makes/made you feel.. Your not missing her, your missing how YOU felt around her.. Don't do it, stay strong brother 🤙
Purely platonic relationship between man and woman is not just rare, it's rare like 1% of all relationship. There's always the underlying intention, whoever is saying the opposite is eighter ignorant or haven't seen enough of life. Thanks for the great work Lise!
I have many female friends I have no sexual interest in. I only find a few women sexually attractive and have no desire to involve myself with women I'm not attracted to. I guess there could be some attraction the other way around with some of them, and generally I find men better company and more interesting, but I only wish I found so many women attractive that it was hard just being friends with the vast majority of them.
Lise, thank you for creating these videos. It’s been nearly three years for me now, and while I’ve come a long way, there are still moments when I experience periods of anxiety tied to the difficult times I had with my ex who has BPD. As a physician, I recognized early during the relationship that she met the criteria for BPD and also NPD traits, yet, unfortunately for reasons such as codependency, I continued the relationship. It lasted two years and was marked by multiple instances of being discarded by her until I took the step to finish the relationship . Your videos have been invaluable in my healing process, and I often revisit them whenever I feel myself slipping back into old feelings. Thank you again for your support and insights.
I've dated most of these types of women!!!! And have concluded, there are no normal women out there!!!! Have been single for 5+ years now, and love the peace I have in my home now!
Yes, my experience also. At least 50% are cluster B. It's archtypical and they have different brains and susceptible to emotional dysregulation. Men have issues too. Collectively it's why thecworld gone right wing, refusal to grow up.
Some of us ladies are good and still out here saying the same things. I just had this discussion with a male cousin of mine last night. It's too bad we non-disorded folks with integrity and kind hearts can't seem to find each other easier. 😢
Everytime I listen to you... it's like a revelation... like you were there when I was going through the tides... I at first loved the challenge.. you know maybe I can change her...maybe she need a good man .. one who can make her forget all the "animals" that hurt her... bro save your life... be that nice to yourself...#Properreigns
Wow, this was an absolutely fantastic run down of what can potentially be experienced. Concise, accurate, well explained. Thank you Lise! it's rare to find such straight forward, no filler relationship related info online lately with all the click bait, viral wording and drawn out length. Much appreciated!
What I learned today: 1. Confirmation for red flags that I noticed, with some new connections this year. 2. When a romantic interest is actively not making time to communicate adequately, often making excuses to not show up with fair effort for connection. Run! Quickly, and moved forward towards a future woman that is ready to commit. 😮💨 3. A whole lot more, but I'll stop here. #RecoveringHeart from Inconsistent people. #Learn&Grow #NoRepeats
I deeply value your insight and what you offer. I've learned so much from you and have avoided several toxic women in my dating life. I know it's better to remain single, than settle for a toxic parter. I am holding out hope to finding a good woman in my life time. Great things come to those who wait.
Really useful video. thank you. We all try to see the good in others when dating, however avoiding being ensnared with these types is the classic "an ounce of prevention is worth a TON of cure."
Wow!! She was 10/10 on your examples. I stuck thru cuz she has heart issue but in end had to look out for myself. She will find other help from other men like she said many times.#8 Always had guy friends in the loop, went online found herself a sugar daddy cuz she in entitled and I couldn’t pay for the things she wanted . I did everything for her but was never enough for her. Manipulated, micro managed my time, my eyes were open but stuck thru cuz her health and struggle. Took advantage of my empathy. Discarded me as soon as I was worn out and needed time for myself. I walked away. Relationships are 2 way street. Too many details to list but there’s one for every # you mentioned
Great video Lisa !! Thank you for your help here ! Great perspectives and real world examples of how us men can get ourselves completely upside down in a relationship.....right !! Having the inverse expectations of a significant other completely out of phase while we men think where in phase with our significant others and trying to manage, groom and grow a well footed relationship that's already set up for failure from the start. You have identified the barometer of toxic relationships, spousal manipulation, relationship unhappiness and abuse......You have really brought to light facts and traits that all victims of human trafficking share in. People are unpredictable enough but I think your analysis and video presentation goes farther and certainly deeper to help us men recognize and identify the "signs along the way" that cohesive and manipulative people use as a means for there own personal gain climbing on the shoulders of the ones they " love " . I call this the " fertility of a narcissist and seeds sewn to make the perfect victims for narcissists to feed from. Thanks again and keep it coming! Us men can be nieve !
Thank you for this. Recent relationship had all these traits. Currently getting out now and its difficult. Feels like your personally talking about my relationship lol
Thank you so much for the work you do! I'm about 8 years out and in a good place these days. Some therapy, many books, videos like yours, and determination to recognize the red flags have set me free. Guys, listen and embrace what Lisa is sharing with the world and get out. Lisa, your inner and outer beauty are amazing! Thanks from Texas, Eric ✌️ n ❤
I kid you not, my ex bpd gf checked every one of these boxes 😂 surviving a relationship like that is eye opening and life changing. Always pay attention to these red flags, dont burry your head from love bombing guys
I hear you, I have a neighbor that works next door and her aggressive ain't so passive. Sometimes we see the red flags and start making discreet adjustments and they get more intense plushy and annoying. It's not just obvious stuff like sex and money. None of that here they might just want to utilize your skill set or name drop. They have a problem with becoming too personal and uncomfortably familiar. By now we already know we don't want contact while they're having their secret celebration thinking they have a big fish on the line. Plain annoying.
My ex pwBPD checked a lot of of these boxes. We’ve been broke up for four months now. I’m still dealing with the trauma from the relationship. I definitely ignored the red flags and now I regret that I had.
Wow I'm listening your video with spanish audio. Is that a new RUclips feature? Anyways I'm glad that I can share your videos with spanish speakers, your insights are very valuable. Greetings from Peru
Thank you for your videos Lise they really helped me recover from my previous relationship. Now I am meeting women again, it would be great if you could make a video like “10 questions to ask when dating to uncover a covert narcissist” Then also state the typical good and bad answers. Thanks for all you do. 🙏🏻
I appreciate everything you've uploaded! You've helped me to identify I was with a pretty narcissistic woman and you helped me get out of that! Thank you for what you do!!!
Towards the end she mentions mixed signals. Anything less than enthusiasm, just walk. If she wants to be with you, she will make it obvious. Wife material will be easy to deal with and drama free. Any games, drama, pettiness, jealousy, keep it moving or fun only.
Absolutely! I wouldn't advocate living with someone before tying the knot buuut it might give you a little bit more insight before going 'legal' which essential what marriage is.
I’m coming to grips with the reality of reactive abuse. After finding years' worth of betrayal-evidence of my wife’s affairs stretching back over a decade-I lost my cool, which landed me in jail. As much as that hurt, these 30 days of separation have brought me a strange sense of peace. Being away has made me see her manipulation clearly, the way she kicks people when they’re down, the way she’s turned that cruelty on me now. She’s likely waiting for me to come back, ready to restart her cycle of control and deceit. But I’m done. I don’t need to fight for my things or step back into her prison. Maybe it’s best to let it all go, to walk away for good. This separation may have saved me, forced me to break free from her grasp. I see her for who she is now, and I’m choosing to move forward without her.
Sounds like you are doing the correct thing by staying away from her. You've recognised the cycle of her abuse. How did you find out about the affairs btw?
@@sphenoidjjj Having shared access to her phone, I was able to go in settings, accounts, and backup and restore all messages. I was able to see the entirety of the text thread.
It always sucks when there's a woman you are in a relationship with who you know is super toxic, but yet you're not only extremely attracted to her, but you also genuinely care about her, have some fun with her, and you believe she's a good person at heart. I had a girlfriend like that. It's a rough situation!
Truth is you are a disciple of the Source of the knowledge of Truth in this regard. May you be goodly rewarded for the psycological Deliverance and emotional clarity this topic has given me, even the strength to belief & follow my instincts, move on and be happy finally. Thanks..
Your video “Ten Signs You Are In A Narcissist Relationship”, truly opened my eyes. I watched it because in my “relationship”, I had been accused of being a narcissistic. You helped me realize that I had ascribed vaguely to two of those characteristics. By the time I had finished the video you had completely described the entirety of my treatment during that period.
Appreciate this video. Someone close to me had an extremely abusive father. My friend has used drugs gambling and what's interesting is he describes having been at the extremes of happiness and despair. Many of his happy moments were alcohol and drug related. He is now expecting happiness in the form of him about to be a father. He is really happy however he seems to keep questioning what next. It seems he has become very restless. Could it be once you experience extreme trauma and drug fueled happiness that more simpler yet happy moments become more short lived. I might understand if extreme dopamine hits the body still crave.
Talking it out, might work... It depends on how well you can communicate with each other. If it's more work than it's worth, MOVE ON! I believe people CAN change if it's for the right reasons and it's WORTH IT... Be AUTHENTIC! Then you're not playing the other person, and you know your WORTH! Never lose YOUR VALUE! Some people just aren't worth your time!
Don't forget the women that bring too much baggage eg credit card debt, student debt, kids from previous relationships, big body counts or even poisonous mothers or sisters.
So I got 9 out of the ten women mentioned, all in one. And have suffered immensely. Finally divorced her yet I still have a fantasy, and introject of her that was not the reality of who she was and is and urge at times to be with that “unicorn”. Especially when I am love bombed by her. Not an indictment on me or her. But a description that I must never ever forget. I must never again disbelieve the obvious and believe the improbable! Be mindful and check the facts! And own your part! Do YOUR work!
All good stuff, Maturity in men AND women is always being in control of emotions. I had to laugh at some of these scenes , but can't believe the other hangs around for any reason whatsoever. I would be GONE......
Lol I sort of thought the same thing. I think the key is to find someone who is actively working on their issues or to heal yourself so well that women with toxic traits aren't even attractive to you anymore.
I appreciate you, but why would I ask a fish how to catch more fish?I love being single.I'm glad I've never gotten married or had any kids and I've made it to 45 years of age.I'm happy I'm independent and I'm free, but you're videos.Entertaining, quite hilarious.Thank you for sharing!!!!😂😂😂
This captivating video triggers a flood of painful memories from the end of my 6 year relationship just three months ago. The woman I loved with all my heart chose to walk away, leaving me grappling with an insurmountable sense of loss. Despite my relentless efforts to salvage what we had, I'm left feeling disillusioned and unable to imagine a future without her. Despite my attempts to move on , I'm drawn to express my deep-seated longing for her here .
The struggle to release someone dear to your heart is undeniably arduous. I empathize, having experienced a similar circumstance when my 8 year relationship concluded. Refusing to accept defeat, I pursued every conceivable avenue to reclaim his affection. Eventually, I sought the assistance of a spiritual counselor, whose wisdom and intervention played a pivotal role in reuniting us.
Aww wow I feel your pain I was in love with this girl for years wishing id have a chance before I die to be with her . Well 12 months ago she finally came into my life. Just to find out she a narcissist the love of my life since we were kids turned out to be a nightmare
At 38, after countless rejections and one 6 year pointless relationships, I am now seriously looking into retiring alone as dealing with women is simply not worth it.
"when someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time".
-Maya Angelou
My ex used this on me as a projection of herself.
every woman will show some traits of these personality types to a certain degree.
This is so true when we thing back our gutts told us something was wrong quite intensely. But we brush it aside.
So true! I wasted a year of my life with jms after she told me she 'had no emotional intelligence' - and she didn't! Should have listened - believe the avoidants when they say something!
Talking it out, might work... It depends on how well you can communicate with each other. If it's more work than it's worth, MOVE ON! I believe people CAN change if it's for the right reasons and it's WORTH IT... Be AUTHENTIC! Then you're not playing the other person, and you know your WORTH! Never lose YOUR VALUE! Some people just aren't worth your time!
*One of the biggest red flags is a woman who’s constantly negative or critical - it drains your energy and impacts your confidence. Surround yourself with people who uplift you and support your growth, not those who bring constant drama!*
That's also a red flag for me as well. Or the need to compare me to an Ex right off the bat on a first date. Thats a huge F-NO! Flag for me lol. It may seem like a compliment to say "you're not like my other ex." But there's a underlying toxic mentality in that person just barely hitting the surface in a subtle way.
With my 74 years of living behind me I think I can honestly say you hit every woman in the world in one way or another.
Now isn’t that a sad state of affairs? 🤷♂️
@@DrRock2009Yep 🤷♂️
nice
Yupperoni
Men, if you want to overcome the struggle put it in perspective (this has helped me)… You want a woman that respects you more than she loves you. If she respects you, she will show her love and always remain in line. If she doesn’t respect you, just walk away. Give up on the idea of romantic love and you will save yourself a lot of time and energy. You will also attract a more suitable partner as you will sniff the bs out much quicker. Know thyself
As a man fresh into his forties, I value my peace & quiet and no longer have any interest in getting seriously involved with another toxic woman again.
And regarding toxic exes: Never play with trash once it's in the garbage. Let the garbage men deal with it.
Heh heh, that’s a good one to remember l! Thanks! 👍
Same story here. Peace freedom & quiet
Same.
Your work is phenomenal! It helped me to identify a covert narcissistic women that I've been dating. It saved me from so much trouble.
This is factual. It help me a lot too. Very grateful.
She helped me immensely as well. She is factual, honest and cuts to the chase.
Here are mine condensed to four. Works 100%
4.) Lacks self-curiosity and interest in personal growth, and enjoys talking smack about others. Why look at yourself when other people are always the problem?
3. Poor interpersonal boundaries. Their own and for you. Do they push your boundaries? If they do, can they accept "no" without projecting FOGS on you, even subtly? (FOGS: Fear, Obligation, Guilt, Shame). Women test instinctively. It's expected, but a sane one will respect you more for having firm boundaries. If you don't understand what boundaries are, learn, and be sure you actually have them, no matter how hot she is. Do you say "no", when you know that "no" is the right answer for you?
2. Flakiness - Unreliable, inconsistent, full of excuses, lies, blames others, the world, friends, their boss, planetary alignments, and you for whatever makes them feel bad, which leads us to #1
1. Lack of accountability - Nothing is ever their fault
This combo gets you someone, who is unreliable, refuses to own their own sh!t, and invites you to own it for them. If you accept the challenge and choose to play their game, welcome to Cluster B personality disorder hell. The choice is your's. Choose wisely. You get what you let.
Well written. I wish I'd seen all these videos and your comment before The Demon.
Hang on, thats all women, can you narrow it down a bit please
Facts sad in 2024 with most women are like this
This applies to all genders. I’ve experienced all points you have outlined, with men.
@@mukesh.dhimar we never know this things, before it happens to us. That you are here now, to learn and to grow is a direct consequence of what happend. 1 year ago, it happend to me and i invested all my time, in becoming my best version. Ive met someone like this again, 6 weeks ago and it did not catch me anymore. Become the man you want to see next to the woman you want to be with
I escaped a narcissist who was so entitled wanted a man to pay her bills for her, buy her luxury products, nearly killed me trying to please her, she idealised me then devalued me and discarded me, blamed me when I spoke up, shame as I really liked her until the entitlement came about. When you lead with your wallet you’re going to get burned. Since then I came across channels like this, learned about the DSM5 and about attachment theory, narcissism and co-dependency.
Leading with the wallet will always get one burned in the end.
@@sphenoidjjj thankfully I could see it coming but it was like the proverbial frog in the frying pan when someone slowly turns up the heat, sorry but I’m not paying anyone’s rent, maid, buy luxury
products for them, the new supply she got is though. I’m glad I got out and am rebuilding my sanity.
been there, glad not to be there anymore.
Hey Lise, I know your content is primarily aimed at men, but as a young woman who watches your videos, I just want to say thank you. I recently broke up with my malignant narcissist boyfriend, and although I know I made the right choice, it’s been challenging. The emotional and verbal abuse, and even the beginnings of physical abuse, were taking a toll on my well-being, leaving me with anxiety, depression, and constant self-doubt. I kept asking myself, “What did I do wrong? Why is he being so cold and distant?” and “What happened to the seemingly sweet man I started to fall for?”
Your videos have been a much-needed reminder that it wasn’t anything I said or did. This is just how they treat people once the lovebombing fades and you’re no longer the shiny new object. Thank you for helping me see things clearly.
I listen to your videos and I just nod my head up and down and keep saying "Yep, Yep, Yep, definitely, big time!!" Thanks for your work, there's plenty of us out there. Mine was 30 years ago and I am still haunted by that woman in my heart.
I've got myself a micro-manager
Peace of mind is more important than finding a partner. Better to be single and content than unhappy in a relationship, All said and done, it is ultimately ourselves that we have to live with.
I see why BPD is so critical, basically the ten types of women described here are the traits of a woman with BPD.
Yeah, or NPD. Same boat, different colour.
My ex-wife was almost all of the women described here. If only I'd seen Lisa's videos earlier, I might not have thrown 20 years of my life away. I eventually broke free but only when my daughter was grown up. I stayed because I wanted her to have a father. Breaking away is brutal, though. I'm 68 and still in pain. These videos help me to understand that I wasn't crazy, and that I did the right thing in the end in spite of all the suffering.
Yup! How many good men put up with a covert narcissist and their daughters don't even know the personal sacrifice they endured to avoid being a 'step door dad' an undeserved fate of so many good men. Stay 💪 strong. There is a silent majority out there sharing your pain.
@BubbaWhite-indie You are right, my daughter will never know what I endured. Mostly because I would never say anything against her mother in front of her. And for good reason because she loves her mother just as we all did. It would be wrong to drag my daughter onto the battlefield. As husbands and fathers we have to be stoic and suffer in silence. That's why I appreciate the work Lisa is doing. It validates everything that went on in our lives. The confusion, the loneliness, the sheer heartlessness of it all. It's telling, though, that my daughter, who is now 20 years old, has chosen to live with me in my little two room apartment, rather than in the family home she grew up in which is occupied solo by my ex- wife. And not through any prompting on my side. She made this choice all on her own.
@@lesilluminations1this is amazing. Although you didn't say anything to her, she knows. Your daughter knows!
The key phase i heard from this "be honest with yourself"
These are always so spot on. I see most or all of these things in virtually every woman I have ever dealt with, unfortunately. Good luck finding one that’s different gents.
To make it easy: don't listen to what women say, judge them by what they do.
Thank you so much for your expertise! Ex fit every single one of these, but im out of shawshank! Im Free!
It’s her birthday today and I’m fighting myself to not call. It feels inhuman to share so much with someone then be forced to share nothing. What a sad state of affairs.
I hope you don't call her. It's not worth getting pulled back in, or disrespected, or toyed with in any way. I know exactly how you feel though. Good luck to you.
Do Not. Just remember how she treated you on other birthdays, maybe even hers. Always contempt and cruelty.
Don't call her. I totally understand what you feel, but it's better to keep the distance. I passed the same a few months ago, and I still I'm struggling with this (even with no contact). Be strong and think in yourself. You will be better with the time.
Don't get confused with how you feel & the way someone makes/made you feel.. Your not missing her, your missing how YOU felt around her.. Don't do it, stay strong brother 🤙
It is not a about what
YOU FEEL FOR HER, It is about
HOW SHE MADE AND MAKES YOU FEEL.
Please, take it from an expert.
Let her go.
Purely platonic relationship between man and woman is not just rare, it's rare like 1% of all relationship. There's always the underlying intention, whoever is saying the opposite is eighter ignorant or haven't seen enough of life. Thanks for the great work Lise!
I have many female friends I have no sexual interest in. I only find a few women sexually attractive and have no desire to involve myself with women I'm not attracted to. I guess there could be some attraction the other way around with some of them, and generally I find men better company and more interesting, but I only wish I found so many women attractive that it was hard just being friends with the vast majority of them.
Lise, thank you for creating these videos. It’s been nearly three years for me now, and while I’ve come a long way, there are still moments when I experience periods of anxiety tied to the difficult times I had with my ex who has BPD. As a physician, I recognized early during the relationship that she met the criteria for BPD and also NPD traits, yet, unfortunately for reasons such as codependency, I continued the relationship. It lasted two years and was marked by multiple instances of being discarded by her until I took the step to finish the relationship . Your videos have been invaluable in my healing process, and I often revisit them whenever I feel myself slipping back into old feelings. Thank you again for your support and insights.
I've dated most of these types of women!!!! And have concluded, there are no normal women out there!!!! Have been single for 5+ years now, and love the peace I have in my home now!
Yes, my experience also. At least 50% are cluster B. It's archtypical and they have different brains and susceptible to emotional dysregulation. Men have issues too. Collectively it's why thecworld gone right wing, refusal to grow up.
Some of us ladies are good and still out here saying the same things. I just had this discussion with a male cousin of mine last night. It's too bad we non-disorded folks with integrity and kind hearts can't seem to find each other easier. 😢
@npkrn6764
Well said! 😊👍
The thing is, most of the good ones get snapped up when they're young... leaving fewer good matches and more bad ones.
"if you want to keep your sanity" ... love it!
Great message Lise. This is like the Bible of when to run. Hope you are well. Love from Australia 🇦🇺
Everytime I listen to you... it's like a revelation... like you were there when I was going through the tides... I at first loved the challenge.. you know maybe I can change her...maybe she need a good man .. one who can make her forget all the "animals" that hurt her... bro save your life... be that nice to yourself...#Properreigns
This is a hard one. I think everyone falls into at least one of these categories.
Wow, this was an absolutely fantastic run down of what can potentially be experienced. Concise, accurate, well explained. Thank you Lise! it's rare to find such straight forward, no filler relationship related info online lately with all the click bait, viral wording and drawn out length. Much appreciated!
What I learned today:
1. Confirmation for red flags that I noticed, with some new connections this year.
2. When a romantic interest is actively not making time to communicate adequately, often making excuses to not show up with fair effort for connection. Run! Quickly, and moved forward towards a future woman that is ready to commit. 😮💨
3. A whole lot more, but I'll stop here.
#RecoveringHeart from Inconsistent people.
#Learn&Grow
#NoRepeats
I deeply value your insight and what you offer. I've learned so much from you and have avoided several toxic women in my dating life. I know it's better to remain single, than settle for a toxic parter. I am holding out hope to finding a good woman in my life time. Great things come to those who wait.
This is the best video on RUclips that every good man should hear, see and watch 🎉 Thank You for your time. Blessings From Linden Michigan 🎉❤😊
Oh my goodness . You’ve nailed it young lady .
They always have
' friends ' on call🎉
Really useful video. thank you. We all try to see the good in others when dating, however avoiding being ensnared with these types is the classic "an ounce of prevention is worth a TON of cure."
I thought my ex was a 10/10 - this brings a whole new perspective to that expression!
Wow!! She was 10/10 on your examples. I stuck thru cuz she has heart issue but in end had to look out for myself. She will find other help from other men like she said many times.#8 Always had guy friends in the loop, went online found herself a sugar daddy cuz she in entitled and I couldn’t pay for the things she wanted . I did everything for her but was never enough for her. Manipulated, micro managed my time, my eyes were open but stuck thru cuz her health and struggle. Took advantage of my empathy. Discarded me as soon as I was worn out and needed time for myself. I walked away. Relationships are 2 way street. Too many details to list but there’s one for every # you mentioned
LOVE YOURSELF FIRST BEFORE LOVING ANOTHER .... be at the best for yourself ....
Great video Lisa !! Thank you for your help here ! Great perspectives and real world examples of how us men can get ourselves completely upside down in a relationship.....right !! Having the inverse expectations of a significant other completely out of phase while we men think where in phase with our significant others and trying to manage, groom and grow a well footed relationship that's already set up for failure from the start. You have identified the barometer of toxic relationships, spousal manipulation, relationship unhappiness and abuse......You have really brought to light facts and traits that all victims of human trafficking share in. People are unpredictable enough but I think your analysis and video presentation goes farther and certainly deeper to help us men recognize and identify the "signs along the way" that cohesive and manipulative people use as a means for there own personal gain climbing on the shoulders of the ones they " love " . I call this the " fertility of a narcissist and seeds sewn to make the perfect victims for narcissists to feed from. Thanks again and keep it coming! Us men can be nieve !
OMG you showed the crazy hot scale video!
Great video. Took me many years to learn just a portion of this.
Thank you for this. Recent relationship had all these traits. Currently getting out now and its difficult. Feels like your personally talking about my relationship lol
Thank you, because it's been crazy trying to help myself. Hard to feel supported after the trauma gets you to believe otherwise.
Thank you so much for the work you do!
I'm about 8 years out and in a good place these days. Some therapy, many books, videos like yours, and determination to recognize the red flags have set me free.
Guys, listen and embrace what Lisa is sharing with the world and get out.
Lisa, your inner and outer beauty are amazing!
Thanks from Texas, Eric ✌️ n ❤
What you need in a relationship is love, respect and communication from both. Otherwise it won't work and isn't likely worth it.
I kid you not, my ex bpd gf checked every one of these boxes 😂 surviving a relationship like that is eye opening and life changing. Always pay attention to these red flags, dont burry your head from love bombing guys
I hear you, I have a neighbor that works next door and her aggressive ain't so passive. Sometimes we see the red flags and start making discreet adjustments and they get more intense plushy and annoying.
It's not just obvious stuff like sex and money. None of that here they might just want to utilize your skill set or name drop. They have a problem with becoming too personal and uncomfortably familiar. By now we already know we don't want contact while they're having their secret celebration thinking they have a big fish on the line. Plain annoying.
My ex pwBPD checked a lot of of these boxes. We’ve been broke up for four months now. I’m still dealing with the trauma from the relationship. I definitely ignored the red flags and now I regret that I had.
Same, same. The recovery is hard. Take good care of yourself and honour your truth, my friend.
Sending vibes my dude cause I know that feel 🖖🏽❤️
Wow I'm listening your video with spanish audio. Is that a new RUclips feature? Anyways I'm glad that I can share your videos with spanish speakers, your insights are very valuable. Greetings from Peru
Thank you for your videos Lise they really helped me recover from my previous relationship. Now I am meeting women again, it would be great if you could make a video like “10 questions to ask when dating to uncover a covert narcissist” Then also state the typical good and bad answers. Thanks for all you do. 🙏🏻
Lise you are amazing. Love your videos. Keep up the great work!
I appreciate everything you've uploaded! You've helped me to identify I was with a pretty narcissistic woman and you helped me get out of that! Thank you for what you do!!!
As a woman who wants the best for the men & boys of the world, I approve this video!
These are the best cutscenes ever. Props to whoever edits your vids
Thank you very good work that helps men without question me one of them. Love your hair.
amazing video, it says it all! great work
Towards the end she mentions mixed signals. Anything less than enthusiasm, just walk. If she wants to be with you, she will make it obvious. Wife material will be easy to deal with and drama free. Any games, drama, pettiness, jealousy, keep it moving or fun only.
Excellent video. Thank you for this 💯✅
This no fluff video, should be memorized by all men. It can save lives
Thank you for your work to support and equip men, Lisa. I feel your heart to help and your compassion.
Very good description. 100% truth, only problem is, that you see all these "traits" when you live with her - or better said to late.
Absolutely! I wouldn't advocate living with someone before tying the knot buuut it might give you a little bit more insight before going 'legal' which essential what marriage is.
Where do we find a woman that isn't at least one of these?
In the1950's??
Yeah, I feel like if you're dealing with less than 3 of these issues, you're probably doing better than the majority of us.
@@LastEarBenderyeah it’s always spectrum. For me personally, only 2 would be great as long as it’s not too severe
Fairytale novels.
North Korea
I’m coming to grips with the reality of reactive abuse. After finding years' worth of betrayal-evidence of my wife’s affairs stretching back over a decade-I lost my cool, which landed me in jail. As much as that hurt, these 30 days of separation have brought me a strange sense of peace. Being away has made me see her manipulation clearly, the way she kicks people when they’re down, the way she’s turned that cruelty on me now. She’s likely waiting for me to come back, ready to restart her cycle of control and deceit.
But I’m done. I don’t need to fight for my things or step back into her prison. Maybe it’s best to let it all go, to walk away for good. This separation may have saved me, forced me to break free from her grasp. I see her for who she is now, and I’m choosing to move forward without her.
Sounds like you are doing the correct thing by staying away from her. You've recognised the cycle of her abuse. How did you find out about the affairs btw?
Well done brother 🔥
Next time it will be more than 30 days - AVOID at all costs.
Sometimes time away makes you see things much clearly. Stay strong.
@@sphenoidjjj Having shared access to her phone, I was able to go in settings, accounts, and backup and restore all messages. I was able to see the entirety of the text thread.
Blessed be dear Lady 🌞
The graph guy is the BEST! classic :) lol.
You earned my subscription woth this excellent video! Keep up the great work
Thank you!
Without communication. there is no relationship.
Without respect, there is no love.
Without trust, there is no reason to continue.
Brilliant this.
@@mukesh.dhimar That's what I thought. Wish had wrote it. Author unknown to me.
@@katray7452 It's OK though. You're spreading it. Thank you.
Bullseye. Remarkably helpful. Thank you
Thank you for your positive feedback!
its nice to see you smile with some of the crazy video inserts! :-)
Thanks for your great Content! Can you make a video like reverse? Like good signs to look for? :) That would be super helpful.
Well this sums up a woman I was hanging out with last year.Pretty much spot on for all 10 signs.I was lucky and didn't get too involved.
Good one. Thanks for seeing the bigger picture.
ABSOLUTELY TRUE.
It always sucks when there's a woman you are in a relationship with who you know is super toxic, but yet you're not only extremely attracted to her, but you also genuinely care about her, have some fun with her, and you believe she's a good person at heart. I had a girlfriend like that. It's a rough situation!
Really good material as always. Thank you :)
Lisa you’re so incredible !!!!
Truth is you are a disciple of the Source of the knowledge of Truth in this regard. May you be goodly rewarded for the psycological Deliverance and emotional clarity this topic has given me, even the strength to belief & follow my instincts, move on and be happy finally. Thanks..
Your video “Ten Signs You Are In A Narcissist Relationship”, truly opened my eyes.
I watched it because in my “relationship”, I had been accused of being a narcissistic. You helped me realize that I had ascribed vaguely to two of those characteristics. By the time I had finished the video you had completely described the entirety of my treatment during that period.
Appreciate this video. Someone close to me had an extremely abusive father. My friend has used drugs gambling and what's interesting is he describes having been at the extremes of happiness and despair. Many of his happy moments were alcohol and drug related. He is now expecting happiness in the form of him about to be a father. He is really happy however he seems to keep questioning what next. It seems he has become very restless. Could it be once you experience extreme trauma and drug fueled happiness that more simpler yet happy moments become more short lived. I might understand if extreme dopamine hits the body still crave.
Thank you attractive therapist lady!
Talking it out, might work... It depends on how well you can communicate with each other. If it's more work than it's worth, MOVE ON! I believe people CAN change if it's for the right reasons and it's WORTH IT... Be AUTHENTIC! Then you're not playing the other person, and you know your WORTH! Never lose YOUR VALUE! Some people just aren't worth your time!
Well that created some clarity
OK, so you described most single women I meet. Where I can meet the healthy ones who are not in LTR?
One woman...so many of these situations 😊
Don't forget the women that bring too much baggage eg credit card debt, student debt, kids from previous relationships, big body counts or even poisonous mothers or sisters.
Nice work Lisa
2:56 "capture it safely" lol
So complicated, my ex was a mix of 3 and 4, so toxic. Left me devastated, financially ruined and away from my dear kids.
All my previous partners were either attention seekers, micromanagers, or had multiple exes. Everything she says about them is spot on.
I learned the hard way twice that “victim” types in need of rescue are always sociopathic narcissists.
So I got 9 out of the ten women mentioned, all in one. And have suffered immensely. Finally divorced her yet I still have a fantasy, and introject of her that was not the reality of who she was and is and urge at times to be with that “unicorn”. Especially when I am love bombed by her. Not an indictment on me or her. But a description that I must never ever forget. I must never again disbelieve the obvious and believe the improbable! Be mindful and check the facts! And own your part! Do YOUR work!
All good stuff, Maturity in men AND women is always being in control of emotions. I had to laugh at some of these scenes , but can't believe the other hangs around for any reason whatsoever. I would be GONE......
Watch out, the narcissist is usually all ten.
There's no women left after that rundown !
Lol!
Lol I sort of thought the same thing.
I think the key is to find someone who is actively working on their issues or to heal yourself so well that women with toxic traits aren't even attractive to you anymore.
the first one you’ve described is just like my ex. police intervention and everything… i’m shocked
Never be captain save a hoe, the savior and fixer. You can’t fix something broken. Mainly The women with ptsd & single moms. 🤦🏻♂️
I appreciate you, but why would I ask a fish how to catch more fish?I love being single.I'm glad I've never gotten married or had any kids and I've made it to 45 years of age.I'm happy I'm independent and I'm free, but you're videos.Entertaining, quite hilarious.Thank you for sharing!!!!😂😂😂
Good video Lise! Right on!
Excellent as always.
This captivating video triggers a flood of painful memories from the end of my 6 year relationship just three months ago. The woman I loved with all my heart chose to walk away, leaving me grappling with an insurmountable sense of loss. Despite my relentless efforts to salvage what we had, I'm left feeling disillusioned and unable to imagine a future without her. Despite my attempts to move on , I'm drawn to express my deep-seated longing for her here .
The struggle to release someone dear to your heart is undeniably arduous. I empathize, having experienced a similar circumstance when my 8 year relationship concluded. Refusing to accept defeat, I pursued every conceivable avenue to reclaim his affection. Eventually, I sought the assistance of a spiritual counselor, whose wisdom and intervention played a pivotal role in reuniting us.
Where did you find a spiritual counselor, and how can I get in touch with her?
Suzanne Ann Walters is the name of an exceptional spiritual counselor renowned for her ability to reunite you with your former partner.
Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked her up now online.
Aww wow I feel your pain I was in love with this girl for years wishing id have a chance before I die to be with her .
Well 12 months ago she finally came into my life.
Just to find out she a narcissist the love of my life since we were kids turned out to be a nightmare
At 38, after countless rejections and one 6 year pointless relationships, I am now seriously looking into retiring alone as dealing with women is simply not worth it.
You’ll retire rich
Thank you! Bless you!
Very true. very informative. 👍👍
What women to never let go. Make a video on this
Some good movies to watch for reference: Mommie Dearest, Misery, Prime of Miss Jean Brodie, Black Swan… the TV show “Keeping up Appearances”.