MISSING WHAT YOU NEVER HAD

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  • Опубликовано: 18 сен 2024
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Комментарии • 1,2 тыс.

  • @JerseyLynne
    @JerseyLynne 2 года назад +419

    In shock, in the moment of realization, Johnny Depp said "I loved you for so many years. You weren't there. You're not here. You don't exist! You were just a made up thing in my mind".

    • @paulmaguire2714
      @paulmaguire2714 2 года назад +11

      Yep.

    • @NARCDAILYYouAreNotAlone
      @NARCDAILYYouAreNotAlone  2 года назад +25

      💡💡💯💯🙌🙌

    • @janetroberts5140
      @janetroberts5140 2 года назад +16

      Absolutely, same for me! Two years ago, I was ditched by my #2 former spouse, we were engaged, I was ill from food poisoning, he couldn't get a call to go through when I was in the ER. So he said, "I'll get back to you in a month!" Not only sick I was devastated!!! I should have known, it was a red 🚩! I called him later and the mess started which was our 14 month marriage.

    • @janetroberts5140
      @janetroberts5140 2 года назад +21

      I can't bear to think where he's at two streets away from me!!! I got my own life, my lovely pet and my sisters! Nothing Compares to the Freedom from the Agony!

    • @bradmcewen
      @bradmcewen 2 года назад +27

      He described the narcissistic relationship absolutely perfect. We partially are at fault for ignoring all the signs. Ofcourse a lot of mind games had everything to do with that. Smdh. Never again though. Experience. Education. Permanent knowledge.

  • @aprilsky8474
    @aprilsky8474 2 года назад +295

    The most beautiful feeling is when you wake up and the dependency and love you had for them is gone. I'm at this point and I'm thankful.

    • @NARCDAILYYouAreNotAlone
      @NARCDAILYYouAreNotAlone  2 года назад +7

      ☀️🙏😊💯

    • @LifeDIY
      @LifeDIY 2 года назад +5

      Now you are free. 💫

    • @lynnfincham6839
      @lynnfincham6839 2 года назад +2

      ♥️♥️♥️

    • @JerseyLynne
      @JerseyLynne 2 года назад +7

      I remember waking up in the morning thrilled there was no one in bed with me. Now, the day was all mine!

    • @pinkkittyize
      @pinkkittyize 2 года назад +7

      Yes, Andrew said something in passing recently..." Its your day off, and you just feel like sitting on the couch, and you can do" I literally laughed out loud !! Because it was so true. I could never do this before, my life wasn't my own, always on high alert..a simple choice I never had...So yes, totally love my freedom now and it just gets better everyday. ❤

  • @miche2300
    @miche2300 2 года назад +6

    When the bad days outweigh the good days and you know you are continually being lied to and the rage fits just keep coming you know things will never change and never get what you deserve. 4.5 yrs was enough. Thank you for your enlightening words. At peace at last🙏

  • @kdavis4910
    @kdavis4910 2 года назад +109

    This is one of the most mind numbing aspects of leaving the narcissist. It blew my mind afterward that I grieved so long and so hard for somebody that never really existed in the first place.

  • @Elysion404
    @Elysion404 2 года назад +16

    "Sitting right next to them and never having felt more alone."
    That hit me hard. That was the worst part of the entire relationship. The gaslighting, the passive aggressiveness, the blame shifting, those were all terrible but none so much as the feeling of sitting or lying next to someone you love with all your heart and feeling like they aren't there, especially if they were warm and loving and attentive beforehand. The sudden switch from "I love you" to "you don't exist to me at all" is absolutely heartbreaking. And it always blindsides you, even when you should see it coming.

  • @JeaNini
    @JeaNini 2 года назад +93

    Yes! They are Cowards and Bullies! We deserve Better! Stay Safe and Strong Friends! 💚 💜 💙

  • @niri7154
    @niri7154 2 года назад +66

    I escaped today. Thank you for your education. My healing can now begin.

  • @annamariehewitt3173
    @annamariehewitt3173 2 года назад +13

    What you miss is all your HOPES and DREAMS that have been
    CRUSHED in this relationship...

  • @MrBranko81
    @MrBranko81 2 года назад +35

    When exiting the fog, we can finally coclude that what we really miss is ourselves.
    God Bless 🙏

  • @californiacat9762
    @californiacat9762 2 года назад +52

    Two shoulder surgeries, 3 months in a wheelchair ♿️ phoney narc offered no help. Now, I'm strong, walking 4 miles a day !! I take care of me. 💘

  • @mariageaney2362
    @mariageaney2362 2 года назад +139

    🙏it is all illusion ,there were no good times just smoke and mirrors.stay strong every one, fight the good fight!!🙏💪🕷️🦊

    • @jannlewandowski5540
      @jannlewandowski5540 2 года назад +7

      Like watching a Magician. Everything is AN ILLUSION. Nothing is real...

    • @NARCDAILYYouAreNotAlone
      @NARCDAILYYouAreNotAlone  2 года назад +6

      💯🙌🙏😉

    • @ruthiedavis8786
      @ruthiedavis8786 2 года назад +5

      I totally agree 💯

    • @callforhealing9842
      @callforhealing9842 2 года назад +5

      Exactly. How can you miss the love bombing stage knowing it was NOT TRUE?

    • @rebeccabarr2790
      @rebeccabarr2790 2 года назад +4

      When we give our pure hearts to someone we believe loved us, only to see it be just a facade, it's really tough to face because it requires serious introspection and realizing that we made a bad choice. But, God has our back, and we'll be ok. God Bless you.

  • @ladiebugs
    @ladiebugs 2 года назад +65

    Trauma bond is horrible. I never heard of it before. Now, that I am divorcing my narcissist husband, I unfortunately understand it. No matter how bad the discard was, you still feel attached. I can't wait for this bond to end. Thank you Andrew.💛

    • @NARCDAILYYouAreNotAlone
      @NARCDAILYYouAreNotAlone  2 года назад +2

      Welcome 🙏 🙌☀️

    • @rebeccabarr2790
      @rebeccabarr2790 2 года назад +8

      Blessings to you - it's really tough once the veil is lifted and you're forced to see reality - God Bless.

    • @ladiebugs
      @ladiebugs 2 года назад

      @@rebeccabarr2790 Thank you.🙏🏻

    • @underdoggys5415
      @underdoggys5415 2 года назад +3

      The sad thing is you hate the idea of hurting the other persons feelings, yet they don’t ,when it is boiled down, don’t deeply care for you. That’s the part I can’t come to grips with. 27 years and ... this’s is a good as it gets. Lost my job and 3 weeks later told I would not be supported...?..?? So It was ok for me to support her... but not the other way around. ? I find it very disturbing how callous some people are. Deeply saddened because I understand her childhood trauma and it is protected with the guard from Fort Knox. No getting in to assist. The discard after having watched Andrews videos was an obvious one once it was explained. Like a penny dropped.

    • @MrNikhilgherwar
      @MrNikhilgherwar 2 года назад +2

      No contact!!!

  • @kyles99
    @kyles99 2 года назад +115

    Hi Andrew 💕 Great points to remember. The person you loved and thought loved you didn't really exist. And worse still, disliked you. It's a strange kind of grieving unlike other relationships xx

    • @myadhdlife4869
      @myadhdlife4869 2 года назад +7

      It’s indescribable.

    • @jannlewandowski5540
      @jannlewandowski5540 2 года назад +9

      It's like we were in a beautiful dream, but woke up to emptiness. I have been there. Take care of yourself. I know how you feel! God bless ❤️ you.

    • @NARCDAILYYouAreNotAlone
      @NARCDAILYYouAreNotAlone  2 года назад +4

      🙏💯☀️

    • @kyles99
      @kyles99 2 года назад +5

      @@jannlewandowski5540 thank-you. I feel like I have gone mad at times until I find that others too understand this heartache because they have gone through it also and made it through to the otherside ☀️💕 xx

    • @jannlewandowski5540
      @jannlewandowski5540 2 года назад +5

      @@kyles99 You will be fine. TRUST ME, I almost died, now here I am almost 11 years later. You will be fine. With ❤️..Jann

  • @app989
    @app989 2 года назад +72

    Unbelievable timing with this video, today is the first day I actually don't care what he's doing, who he's with and if he's thinking about me. I was discarded in April and after educating myself on this channel since May I waited for this day to come what seems like forever and today I woke up no longer missing what I never had. Amen. 🙏

    • @NARCDAILYYouAreNotAlone
      @NARCDAILYYouAreNotAlone  2 года назад +2

      🙏💯🙌

    • @lynnfincham6839
      @lynnfincham6839 2 года назад +2

      🤟🤟🤟

    • @callforhealing9842
      @callforhealing9842 2 года назад +1

      Keep it up ❤️

    • @rebeccabarr2790
      @rebeccabarr2790 2 года назад +6

      So happy for you - wish I could be there, after almost a year, but I'm trying - every day it feels like torture just to be awake - the only thing really keeping me going right now is taking care of my animals and my garden. It's pure torture to be alive right now.

    • @hummers7342
      @hummers7342 2 года назад +3

      Amen!

  • @lucy2875
    @lucy2875 2 года назад +18

    This is why it's so important to write down a list of specific and general abuses. Because over time your mind obscures them. Then the narcissist comes back with the charm and sucks you back in.

  • @laurelvance5533
    @laurelvance5533 2 года назад +3

    What I am fully aware of missing, is the loving, trusting, kind, caring, understanding, true, relationship that I never had.

  • @oysterdiva2853
    @oysterdiva2853 2 года назад +56

    I can honestly say after being with a narcissistic husband for almost 30 years, and just in the past couple of years of educating myself, I find myself realizing that I was missing the person I THOUGHT he was. The romanticized version that he AND I painted of him, that I spent all those years trying to uncover again and again. Been trying to get completely free of him since COVID began, but I'm now almost 60 and just can't get back into the restaurant/biz. Just can't go back to that. I'm hiding my time, trying to figure out what my next move will be... I'll get there. And when I finally do, I'm never going to look back. PLEASE listen to this advice from Andrew. I'm STILL here, having to do the dance with the narcissist to survive. Luckily I now live on the other side of the property, but that's not far enough. DONT wait like I did. Reclaim your life. Make it great! You can do it!

    • @jannlewandowski5540
      @jannlewandowski5540 2 года назад +4

      I hope to God you can be FREE ASAP! 60 is young, and you can do it. God bless you, my dear.❤🤍🌷🌷

    • @NARCDAILYYouAreNotAlone
      @NARCDAILYYouAreNotAlone  2 года назад +2

      💯🙏☀️🙌

    • @carlboehm3858
      @carlboehm3858 2 года назад +3

      @Oyster Diva ... Never too old to be Happy ... I was depressed and unfulfilled until I realized that ... Bless You

    • @LifeDIY
      @LifeDIY 2 года назад +3

      Thank you for sharing this. Hope you make your move soon and set yourself free.

    • @wendythomas4930
      @wendythomas4930 2 года назад +3

      I am right where you are, 25 years, still in the same house...

  • @foodogslove2588
    @foodogslove2588 2 года назад +7

    Good morning Andrew, from white skies, in my little corner of England.
    I did a “ pros and cons” list with my narcissistic husband, 4 years into our 22 year marriage, which I stumbled across recently and absolutely nothing had changed. All of the things I had listed ( completely unaware of narcissism) are still present today.
    I was so shocked, as I had totally forgotten I had made this list, but it clearly demonstrates that I knew something was deeply wrong and I was trying to make sense of it.
    I believe, from my own personal experience, is that what we actually miss, is in fact, an illusion, a dream, as the narcissist mirrors back our ideals and hopes, our future goals, but it’s all part of their deception to “ hook us” and like a drug, we all become “hooked.”
    Thanks Andrew, for another insightful video, made all the better, by your own, personal experience, delivered with passion and conviction.
    Stay strong everyone. 🙏🏽🤍🦋

  • @beckyfairley7298
    @beckyfairley7298 2 года назад +5

    Wow and wow! So so very true! All of it. Lord, give us empaths strength to put ourselves first and quit allowing these insincere people to rob us of our beauty, light and joy!!!

  • @shari3718
    @shari3718 2 года назад +24

    I don’t miss the sleepless nights, the anxiety, the stress. Nor do I miss the constant nagging feelings in my gut telling me something is not right. And I certainly don’t miss all the back and forth conversations, with all the gaslighting. Can’t believe I stayed so long in all that mess.

    • @NARCDAILYYouAreNotAlone
      @NARCDAILYYouAreNotAlone  2 года назад +1

      🙏💯☀️🙌

    • @lynnfincham6839
      @lynnfincham6839 2 года назад +4

      You kind of hope it will get better it will change but it doesn’t no matter how hard you try x

    • @rebeccabarr2790
      @rebeccabarr2790 2 года назад +3

      It's truly amazing how they can flip everything that they've done to you, onto you - projection.

    • @Matt-ng4tj
      @Matt-ng4tj 2 года назад

      @@rebeccabarr2790 They think they're "CLEVER" for that. But anyone to who goes along with it, that wannabe "CLEVER" narc is just doing a favor for me. Anyone who joins along as an enabler or a fellow narc is instantly kicked out of my life. (Thank you Mr or Mrs Narc! For inadvertently EXPOSING weak ends I never knew I had my social network.) They think they're such BAD-ASSES for their smear campaigns while they're happening as you can detect by their tone of voice. But ironically they're doing their so-called victim a big favor

  • @clbcreations
    @clbcreations 2 года назад +31

    I cried when I listened to this. This describes my 23 yr marriage to my ex perfectly. I had no idea this is what it was at the time. Thank you for reminding me that what I had was not what a relationship should be.

  • @groovy-momma418
    @groovy-momma418 2 года назад +64

    Thanks Andrew, I really needed to hear this tonight. We've been separated for four whole days now and even though I am alone, I do not feel lonely. I will be married 36 years tomorrow and I will celebrate being free, finally! I was so lonely for so long and I am proud of myself!! I filed for divorce last Friday and he was served with them and a restraining order on Wednesday. I don't know what will happen, but I do know it will be better than the 38 years I was with him. But I definitely see the truth now and am aware of the trauma bond.

    • @carlboehm3858
      @carlboehm3858 2 года назад +6

      Good for you Groovy ... I stayed because I thought I was too old to start over ... Until I realized that NO I'M NOT ... Getting my things packed up and in order for that day, it'll be soon. Keep the Faith Girl ☺️

    • @wendythomas4930
      @wendythomas4930 2 года назад +3

      I am almost where you are, but 25 years....

    • @nubYaH
      @nubYaH 2 года назад +8

      Wow, I’m in the same path as yours. I was with my ‘husband’ (he never was a husband) for 37 years. I made him leave (almost three weeks of NC now).
      He had a family behind my back, and even though I’ve forgiven him, he now has another affair and I caught him in his lies. It’s preposterous. This old ridiculous man! Forget that you can age together with a narc… no, they are going to have other supplies as long as they live. They are not exclusive…you have to share them with his other suppliers..
      I’m out. I’m not too old to be free.

    • @tai2656
      @tai2656 2 года назад +5

      Well done Groovy-Momma....sending healing and positve vibes your way, you have done the right thing. You deserve the next 38 years to be full of love, laughter and freedom. I hope you find it

    • @shovelheadpec
      @shovelheadpec 2 года назад +2

      Wow amen kiddo
      And here I thought my 17 yrs with my narc girlfriend that's filled me with lots of guilt and feeling like a fool for putting myself through her very controlling ways I really was not ever happy by her side ever..
      I'm happy 4 U grooovey

  • @melissamontgomery1066
    @melissamontgomery1066 2 года назад +28

    I think you miss what you wished for. What you wanted them to be. You just have to pull yourself out of that darkness of what should have been and realize the clarification of what is real. And what is real..is exactly what you have explained tonight.

    • @NARCDAILYYouAreNotAlone
      @NARCDAILYYouAreNotAlone  2 года назад +2

      💯☀️🙌🙏💯

    • @janetroberts5140
      @janetroberts5140 2 года назад +1

      So true Melissa!!!

    • @hollylorn131
      @hollylorn131 2 года назад +2

      I agree! Very well said.

    • @kdavis4910
      @kdavis4910 2 года назад +2

      We fell in love with the versions in our heads of the people we deeply hoped they were. They implied we had somehow EARNED the misery they caused us and the bizarre part is that we believed them, for a time. We thought we were the problem until we reached the other side and could CLEARLY see that, no, they were definitely the problem. Even though many people tried to tell us that we somehow played an active role in our own abuse and are responsible for some of the blame. I was strangled until the world went black before my very eyes. He almost killed me and no, I am NOT AT ALL responsible for the abuse I endured. That was HIS doing and his alone. You would be amazed at the number of people that actually implied out loud that I was partially responsible for this. This did not go over well for these people. Not a single one of them got away with saying such a thing to me. The only thing the victims of narcs ARE guilty of is missing the signs or ignoring red flags. I didn't ignore red flags. He was very organized and good at what he did. He was so charming and fooled everyone so completely it made me literally physically ill. My stomach still hurts thinking about it, 8 years later.

    • @melissamontgomery1066
      @melissamontgomery1066 2 года назад

      @@kdavis4910 this definitely resignates with me... It is amazing how they can fool all of those around them isn't it?... These people make me sick to my stomach as well.Pure Evil

  • @rhondaweddle9826
    @rhondaweddle9826 2 года назад +13

    I lived with the narcissist for over 20 years, he had at least 3 different personalities. The person spoke differently, walked differently. dressed differently and more. I know I am damaged. I work with it every day. I am in a new relationship and I am respected, honored and free to live how I want. I appreciate your lectures they help me dig my soul out of the past

  • @mariog3326
    @mariog3326 2 года назад +116

    Thanks for this message brother. You're on fire tonight and we appreciate it. All of the wisdom you bring to us. Congratulations on 80K! And many more to come. Everything you mentioned is true.

    • @NARCDAILYYouAreNotAlone
      @NARCDAILYYouAreNotAlone  2 года назад +9

      Welcome 🙏☀️💯🙌

    • @JerseyLynne
      @JerseyLynne 2 года назад +4

      Yes, offers something different. I scroll through the comments and like, like and like, I comment or interact with at least one post!

    • @furusaogoge
      @furusaogoge 2 года назад +3

      The beauty of this channel is that his wisdom is applicable to all relationships including the one we have with ourselves.

    • @tracytrujillo1960
      @tracytrujillo1960 2 года назад +4

      Sleeping with the enemy

  • @sarahkay8784
    @sarahkay8784 2 года назад +34

    I really needed this tonight. I’m feel lonely. Shaky. Logically I know I have to stay out but like I said, I feel lonely. It was a difficult week at work. I’m tired. I want to reach out…..hate myself for wanting to.

    • @NARCDAILYYouAreNotAlone
      @NARCDAILYYouAreNotAlone  2 года назад +1

      🙏💯💪☀️

    • @hollylorn131
      @hollylorn131 2 года назад +5

      Sarah, you're a strong person to have left and I hope you realize that. You're stronger than you think! Please take life one day at a time and try your best to stay away from the narcissistic relationship. You are starting on the healing path! You're free to live life as you want to. Things will get better if you stay away! You can stay out of the narcissistic relationship! Make this time the one you stay away and take care of yourself.

    • @lynnfincham6839
      @lynnfincham6839 2 года назад +3

      Understand completely… if your feeling like that seek company of good friends who know love and will
      Support… ask friends round cook small meal have loving conversations. Going back is just a game of ping pong to them. If you go back it’s like saying I know you treated me badly go ahead carry on …. If you go back you prob be in sane place you were a month ago. It gets better honestly hang in there. Sending hugs xx

    • @rebeccabarr2790
      @rebeccabarr2790 2 года назад +3

      Prayers for you, Sarah. I feel the same. You're not alone - we are with you - we're all brothers and sisters and God loves us all. Stay strong - you'll be ok.

    • @erasetheslate9336
      @erasetheslate9336 2 года назад +2

      yes... ptsd moments... this too shall pass... whew .. a nightmare of a ride... can we trust again... smh

  • @beverlytaylor1745
    @beverlytaylor1745 2 года назад +23

    Hello Andrew! Being in a relationship with a narc is like auditioning for the part - daily - and never getting it.

  • @dianec.3818
    @dianec.3818 2 года назад +2

    So true, so sad, so pathetic. I don't miss any of it !! My 35 yr relationship was all in my head. It took me a long time to figure it all out. He gave me nothing!!
    Thank you for the truth Andrew!!! Your gifted in explaining all these horrible affects of this toxicity in such an effective way.

  • @theanalectsofcatherine9813
    @theanalectsofcatherine9813 2 года назад +19

    It's amazing how much time, money, and emotional wellbeing I've been able to enjoy once I've left my ex. I thought I was just depressed and sick the whole time, but no, it was him. Thinking about that has made it easy for me to cut him off entirely without regrets.

  • @deborahsuehilliard-sands5218
    @deborahsuehilliard-sands5218 2 года назад +1

    I don't miss a thing! So happy and grateful to be FREE!! ❤️💯

  • @jannlewandowski5540
    @jannlewandowski5540 2 года назад +26

    Hi Andrew. Wow, what a topic! Missing what I never had is something I did realize a few of your videos ago. The love bombing and being treated like a human being at first, is what I missed at first. NO I don't miss the future faking and him telling me we'll grow old together. I used to miss it for years, but no more! They are 😈 MONSTERS, and I will never forget it. I don't miss any of that. What he did was CRUEL! I DON'T WISH THAT ON ANYONE! No way do I miss that treatment. I'm on to the Narc, and I refuse to be used and abused again. Thank you Andrew..Great video...❤

    • @jannlewandowski5540
      @jannlewandowski5540 2 года назад

      @@ESSIEMARIE1998 Yes Martha, they are rotten to the core! They are 😈 DEMONS..Good luck to you, honey..❤💙

    • @NARCDAILYYouAreNotAlone
      @NARCDAILYYouAreNotAlone  2 года назад

      Thank you for sharing this 🙏💯☀️🙌❤️

    • @angelabowman343
      @angelabowman343 2 года назад

      I just can’t believe they lie like that! Amazing, sad, disgusting! I believed the narcs!

  • @sll110
    @sll110 2 года назад +8

    my mom is narcissist, most of my all family members are narcissists, I never had real mom, never have truly family members, I hate myself, didn't leave them totally at 20s,

    • @Chan71222
      @Chan71222 2 года назад +1

      Same here my "mother" is a covert. She's tried to destroy me even physically something sneaky she did. I cut her off 2 years ago along with the other flying monkey family members even my own kids who won't talk to me because of her brainwashing them. That's ok though because karma isn't a nice thing to go through. She'll get hers God 🙏✝️ is in control. Sorry to hear about your family!!

  • @laureenchard4512
    @laureenchard4512 2 года назад +5

    You're right, we never had what we thought we had. Smoke & Mirrors. Magicians making us see what was not there. But in the end we, the empaths, are not there either.....

  • @palmamingozzi5736
    @palmamingozzi5736 2 года назад +2

    I have always missed what I never had, a real life and a real love.

  • @Mark-gv4xv
    @Mark-gv4xv 2 года назад +3

    Thank you Andrew this is right we’re I am at present 👍

  • @lindagodwin3680
    @lindagodwin3680 6 месяцев назад +2

    6 years. What I missed was myself because he mirrored me.

  • @JeaNini
    @JeaNini 2 года назад +46

    Andrew, Congratulations on 80K subscribers! Well deserved! You are doing good work for so many of us.

  • @jingerhaley5886
    @jingerhaley5886 Год назад +1

    Missing what you never had or “seeing the best in someone when it’s your traits you wanted to see in them and they just don’t exist”

  • @pollyjohnson-allthingsgood
    @pollyjohnson-allthingsgood 2 года назад +4

    We certainly do not want to miss the master manipulator! I think remuneration and missing the narcissist or missing times you did or didn’t have is part of grief and yes it’s natural. Once you’ve healed got educated and become free, this stops and life becomes full of light and beauty. Stay in the boat! You’re on this channel in the right place so you are healing already! 🙏💙🙏

  • @vintagebabyseventythree6244
    @vintagebabyseventythree6244 2 года назад

    That phrase ‘missing what you never had’ nails it.

  • @achrafhaidi7280
    @achrafhaidi7280 2 года назад +4

    16 days of no contact and still 🙌🏻 let's goo

  • @rubio9478
    @rubio9478 2 года назад +1

    You get all the time in the world to yourself. And the best part about it is that it is WITHOUT the narcissist that made our lives a living hell. If they ever came back to hoover, I'd laugh in their face & continue to go back to living my life in existential peace. ✌ ☮ 🕊 ❤ Thanks again, forever & always Andrew. Forever wishing you & everyone else affected peace from within. ❤

  • @daisynadal6909
    @daisynadal6909 2 года назад +18

    And how exactly did you know I needed this video today Andrew? I believe your experiences have led you to your true calling and I can't thank you enough for wanting to use it to help the rest of us out. Namaste from Jersey...we love you! 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🥰😊

    • @NARCDAILYYouAreNotAlone
      @NARCDAILYYouAreNotAlone  2 года назад +4

      There are no coincidences ever..🙏💯☀️🙌😉❤️

    • @Bit_1980
      @Bit_1980 2 года назад +1

      I believe I was also sent to this video for a reason this evening. Thank you Andrew. Love ya sweetie. 😊💜

    • @stormspotter7330
      @stormspotter7330 2 года назад +4

      The timing is great for me too, I'm just one week free, and these things are all swirling in my head. And this man and his videos have been perfectly timed and right on point!!! Thanks to everyone on here.

    • @daisynadal6909
      @daisynadal6909 2 года назад +2

      @@stormspotter7330 I'm three months free and just today he hits me up to try to remind me of the good times or whatever...I think Andrew might be clairvoyant lol. Stay strong and on the path to recovery! Namaste 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

    • @stormspotter7330
      @stormspotter7330 2 года назад +1

      @@daisynadal6909 Thank you Daisy!!! I'm am going to regain my life at all cost!!!

  • @laurahennessy2893
    @laurahennessy2893 2 года назад +1

    I can tell you what I experienced is exactly my darkest fears. It was the exact opposite of what I imagined my LIFE would be like. I am almost Free from this nightmare.please pray for me. 💚🙏🏼

  • @mariaawake4502
    @mariaawake4502 2 года назад +11

    Missing what you never had? A person I could trust, who was honest and appreciative. Good night to all, sleep well🎇🌙🦋

  • @taradean8504
    @taradean8504 Год назад +2

    The way you continue to speak after the sign off is very compassionate loving and empathetic as many of us have such deep abandonment issues that even a quick sign off can be triggering. I just wanted to acknowledge you for doing that. It’s like the two extra hugs that say you’ve got this :)
    Nameste

  • @jennifernewton4637
    @jennifernewton4637 2 года назад +37

    GREAT video Andrew! ❤🙏 I never even thought of it this way, but yeah… yeah I did miss it for a while after things were over. I just NEVER had those things with him. If I told you some of the WORST things he said to me CASUALLY, YOU’D probably be furious! 😢 They were truly unbelievable. I’m SO GLAD your ex didn’t… get her way (let’s put it that way) in the end. You are an ABSOLUTE TREASURE who offers SO MUCH HOPE and EMPOWERMENT to everyone here! ❤ Gød BLESS you for that, the world CERTAINLY needs MORE people like YOU! 🤗🤗🤗 Have a WONDERFUL evening, Andrew! Namaste! 🙏☺️☀️🙌😘

  • @davidyardley512
    @davidyardley512 2 года назад +1

    The trauma bond is very real. I’m sure it’s our minds playing tricks on us. It’s where the dream of what we could have been with that person is more powerful than the reality of what they did to us.

  • @celesteonthetube
    @celesteonthetube 2 года назад +4

    Andrew, you’re videos always resonate with me and make me feel like you’re speaking just to me about something I’m struggling with at the moment. This video hit so many chords. Why could I never enjoy a holiday? Why is my credit destroyed? Why did he get to keep my car? I knew deep down he wasn’t playing games in the bathroom, why did I look the other way? All those “date nights” where I thought we connect were just a means to an end, not to nurture a relationship.
    I loved when you pointed out that the relationship was bad and you could prove it- because we’re watching your channel. So so true!!
    Keep up the great work! I watch a few narcissistic channels but there’s something about your videos that touch my heart every time. God bless you.

  • @Lina-oi1xe
    @Lina-oi1xe 2 года назад +2

    Andrew, please provide me some light as to why the narcissist doesn't like or want any type of intimacy. Thank you for helping us all with all these information on narcissism... I now know that am not crazy, after almost 20 yrs of marriage...you have validated me! I feel am alive, because of you. God keep you blessed. " We will come out, much stronger thanks to the narcissist."

  • @lucindairish2944
    @lucindairish2944 2 года назад +16

    I have always missed what I never had> LOVE, SUPORT, COMPASSION< TRUST< A FAMILY that wont abuse my worth, I never miss the Narcissist, I only miss what I have never had in my life, I only look for Kindred spirits these days, I have been single all my life, never married, when is a good time to find a partner in life? I stopped growing in the relationship area, I have so much to offer. I am fully independent and love who I have become. I feel ready to let the right person in my life. I have done the work! Every now and again I check in to these videos to remind me what I am Not!! to look for in a partner for life, And what Not to fall for in how I am treated by anyone. Moving forwards is the only way to live a life worth living. I am at a new starting point in my life.. I Know My Worth Now. That being said be kind to yourselves and love yourself first.

  • @KarenGarcia-rg4or
    @KarenGarcia-rg4or 2 года назад +2

    So true! for 10 min of happiness you have to suffer for weeks! not worth it! 🤒

  • @soundmind1705
    @soundmind1705 2 года назад +52

    Love this title. Exactly what I'm going through with my mom. Limited contact, but when I think of how I'll feel guilty not spending more time with her once she's gone, I realize no matter what, I will miss what there never was, just like my dad, may he RIP.

    • @NARCDAILYYouAreNotAlone
      @NARCDAILYYouAreNotAlone  2 года назад +4

      🙏💯☀️

    • @jannlewandowski5540
      @jannlewandowski5540 2 года назад +1

      God bless you always! ❤

    • @splainyourself9811
      @splainyourself9811 2 года назад +2

      My ❤ goes out to you. I love your screen name.

    • @shaeholden1743
      @shaeholden1743 2 года назад +3

      Yes, Andrew, realizing my 24-year marriage was built on a lie was THE bitterest pill to swallow in that demonic partnership. Peace of mind, contentment, happiness came after I left. I'm thankful EVERY DAY for escaping. You stay blessed also, Andrew. Thank you for how you help us.

    • @kdavis4910
      @kdavis4910 2 года назад +3

      @@shaeholden1743 demonic partnership indeed. I too am grateful everyday to have escaped the malignant sociopathic narcissist and forcefully took back my life and freedom. The nightmare that kept me hostage lasted 12 long hard years. God bless you for surviving 24 miserable years. You deserve the peace and quiet completely after that incredible feat. And finally being able to leave after all that time. Many others trapped for so long in this type of situationship never escape successfully. Imagine being in that type of situation back in the days when divorce was next to impossible to obtain 🥺😥😔.

  • @nickstemberger1289
    @nickstemberger1289 Год назад +1

    I miss my dad (cancer) and my dad's side of the family. I spent my whole childhood with them. I picked up signs, walked on eggshells, now realizing I was never really loved at all for being me.

  • @elainesetford549
    @elainesetford549 2 года назад +31

    Superb video Andrew 🙂 thank you! 100% right again! All what you have said is absolutely true. In Reality, I was in love with a person who really didn’t exist. Keeping that in mind, keeps me strong!

    • @NARCDAILYYouAreNotAlone
      @NARCDAILYYouAreNotAlone  2 года назад +1

      🙏💯☀️

    • @giselleklang1355
      @giselleklang1355 2 года назад

      A lot of women commit suicide after this kind of relationship.Ots really sad and the survivors are usually children.

  • @mariahuffman1745
    @mariahuffman1745 2 года назад +2

    Exactly what I needed to hear today. I really know these things but after being gaslighted for some time I begin to doubt myself. Thanks for the reminder. I saved this and I’m going to replay it every morning as I drink my coffee in peace.

  • @angelaeastwood3938
    @angelaeastwood3938 2 года назад +5

    This is very painful for me to hear. I must admit I had some tears. This is my life I was living . 😳😪
    I feel such a fool believing it could of been real . Reality of it now certainly hits you even harder. .Missing what I never had 😔 yes it is a painful truth I tried to hide for years . That I didn't get the life I deserved for me and my children. I always dreamed and yearned for .

  • @LifeDIY
    @LifeDIY 2 года назад +11

    It's hard for me to comprehend that someone would go into a relationship fully aware that they just want to use and manipulate someone. I can't fathom it. I am grateful my experience did not last years and I am glad he discarded me. I am most grateful to have learned that he is a narcissist. Knowing that is what set me free. I appreciate the way you explained the trauma bond, Andrew. It was very difficult for me when I was experiencing that. I no longer miss what I never had. I would rather be alone than ever experience anything like that again. I chose the wrong person for sure. I am grateful in a way just because it could have been worse, yet it was still extremely painful and stressful. I will also be more aware and more careful in the future. I have had a lot of difficult or traumatic experiences, and this one is up there with how extremely painful it was. I can see how people can move on and begin to forget that. I am starting to do that now myself.

  • @cristianamyers5893
    @cristianamyers5893 2 года назад +4

    Thank you thank you! You described my 34.5 year marriage to the tee. If I would of understood narcissism sooner I would of left many years ago. But what you described was my life, I thought I was being a loyal wife staying with him!! But I was so miserable and unhappy!! We are now so free, separated 1 year ago and divorced in April!! WE are so much happier, had the best family vacation ever!! Thank you for putting all this in one video!!! So people don’t just walk away from those toxic relationships RUN!! You will be sooo much happier!!
    BTW, I’m A Tica who lives in the USA! 🤷🏻‍♀️

  • @LiriaCAscua
    @LiriaCAscua 2 года назад +1

    Thank you, you are really helping me to get out from an abuse relationship with a Narcisits

  • @lindastrehlow295
    @lindastrehlow295 2 года назад +21

    Thank you Andrew💞
    If I am going to be in a relationship alone, I would rather be by myself. Life is so much better in every way possible since he left...

    • @NARCDAILYYouAreNotAlone
      @NARCDAILYYouAreNotAlone  2 года назад +2

      💯☀️🙏

    • @jannlewandowski5540
      @jannlewandowski5540 2 года назад +6

      I would also rather be alone. I can't go thru that HORROR again. Take care...❤💙

    • @lindastrehlow295
      @lindastrehlow295 2 года назад +4

      @@jannlewandowski5540ABSOLUTELY! NEVER, EVER, AGAIN! It is now just me and my cats and after 15 years of that hell, happiness is a luxury! Stay in your happiness!💞

    • @jannlewandowski5540
      @jannlewandowski5540 2 года назад +1

      @@lindastrehlow295 I'm hanging in there! 😁

    • @lindastrehlow295
      @lindastrehlow295 2 года назад +2

      @@jannlewandowski5540 Give it time. I promise it does get better. Just concentrate on YOU! Take care of you! 💞💜❤

  • @lostjunglist8704
    @lostjunglist8704 2 года назад +1

    When you said . . . "They are looking at 3 cell phones & ignoring you, while you try to watch a documentary" . . . You Hit That One In The Head With My Current Situation. It's funny to know that I'm not the only one who feels this way about "these" people.

  • @elsie8966
    @elsie8966 2 года назад +3

    Andrew I came on to find a video on this because I woke up with a song in my head that reminds me of him. I was all nostalgic and going back to the early times when he was making me feel good and full of hope. I thought I'd need to search for what I wanted but this was right there. I was meant to see this

  • @PBHorrorGaming
    @PBHorrorGaming 2 года назад

    Don't be the nice guy, stand on something solid, know who you are and don't rely on other people for validation and or happiness. These shituations can be a blessing in disguise in terms of learning experience and personal evolution.

  • @candidaherron6130
    @candidaherron6130 2 года назад +7

    That was the hard part Andrew. Admitting to myself that I never had anything to miss. I never ever had anything NOTHING . Reality wow ! Thank you again . You always hit it right on the head 🙏🙌💯😊🙏

  • @tinapeterson3814
    @tinapeterson3814 2 года назад +1

    When I was debating divorce for a 3rd time, I sat in a private room with a notebook. One side Pro's and the other side Con's. Just like Andrew mentioned. My Pro's of staying was 1/2 page. The Con's of staying were 2 pages long. I kept all my notes and this pro's and con's page. It's still in a shoe box. After 10 years, I read it and realized that my Pro's of staying, were things that I was completely blind to. I just felt that was the way it was supposed to be... Andrew and NarcDaily found Me... : )

  • @JessieSmithMusic
    @JessieSmithMusic 2 года назад +2

    “Working FOR the narcissist” - one thousand percent. Thank you 🙏🏻

  • @CinephileChelsea
    @CinephileChelsea 2 года назад +2

    Thank you, I had a low day today. I was feeling like I missed my ex narc but at the same time grieving that they were never there. This is tough stuff. Good timing your video came up today.

  • @1o1carolina53
    @1o1carolina53 2 года назад +4

    That's true.
    NOW, moving ahead,..... 😊

  • @radiant2012
    @radiant2012 2 года назад +1

    Andrew, thank you for this one .. 🎯 reminding everyone how disgusting that person really is, is a wake up call when you think you miss what you never had! In one word.. it’s abuse. #sayNO 💯🎯❤️

  • @gmas3002
    @gmas3002 2 года назад +12

    Just listening but know it’s perfectly time 🙏🏼

  • @MEL2theJ
    @MEL2theJ 2 года назад +1

    I've married my narc twice. We're currently going through our second divorce. I miss being a wife but I don't miss the daily toxicity that he brought into our lives. Thank you for the reminder NARCDAILY

  • @mabuyaa8627
    @mabuyaa8627 2 года назад +4

    YES INDEED! 🙌. You are educating so many of us bc nobody didn’t teach us!!!! 😫😖😣
    You are so right! I don’t miss none of this 💩!!!
    Thank God

  • @corvettewlodek5996
    @corvettewlodek5996 2 года назад +1

    It’s all coming together and finally making sense to me! Everything you described is right on! I most certainly deserve to be treated better! I’ve come to a halt and stopped laying out the red carpet and never seeing the same great treatment in return! Thank you for your great video!

  • @anthonymarr47
    @anthonymarr47 2 года назад +40

    Im a life path 2 and a cancer ♋️, major empathetic ability’s, Love your videos and this one is a good one, Thanks for being there for us all 🙌💯🙏🏽

    • @NARCDAILYYouAreNotAlone
      @NARCDAILYYouAreNotAlone  2 года назад +5

      Welcome 🙏

    • @jeffunderwood6235
      @jeffunderwood6235 2 года назад +1

      I am a child of God. He has kept me around for something I just haven't figured it out. I will say a prayer for you. Look up protocel all natural and works. God bless you my friend

    • @SZYB3
      @SZYB3 2 года назад

      Me too path 2 cancerian narc survivor ❤️‍🩹

  • @Anonymous-nw9lb
    @Anonymous-nw9lb 2 года назад +2

    Crazy i will never touch another man !!!! I dont trust myself to pick one

    • @NARCDAILYYouAreNotAlone
      @NARCDAILYYouAreNotAlone  2 года назад

      💯☀️💪🙏

    • @laureenchard4512
      @laureenchard4512 2 года назад

      You've got company in that idea. I've been single on purpose since I left the Narc. Can't tell who's got the dirty fangs.

  • @dscott4154
    @dscott4154 2 года назад +13

    Thank you for your great messages it really helps

  • @edithhoppenykjar1103
    @edithhoppenykjar1103 2 года назад +2

    He stole 30 years of my life.
    I miss the life I never had.
    He always said, our time will come.

    • @drakenulla
      @drakenulla 2 года назад

      YOUR time will come, Now!:)
      Wiser than ever. Gratulations to the surviving, 30 years whit a manipulative person means you are hard as a rock to break, so you will do just fine, in matter of time hold on

    • @edithhoppenykjar1103
      @edithhoppenykjar1103 2 года назад +1

      @@drakenulla ❤

    • @NARCDAILYYouAreNotAlone
      @NARCDAILYYouAreNotAlone  2 года назад

      🙏🙌

  • @jillboyle5264
    @jillboyle5264 2 года назад +15

    Everything you've said was a perfect explanation of my 18 years with the ex narc.
    I was asleep...I am now very VERY awake! Thank you Andrew...you are always on point!
    Be blessed!

  • @philmorrison6898
    @philmorrison6898 2 года назад

    Oh my goodness Andrew! You nailed it again exactly! My 34 years with my beloved ex narcissist wife was like a slow drip poison sad to say! Now I’m focusing on what makes me happy. I spent so much time working on her happiness that I’ve forgotten what makes me happy! I’m remembering who I am! Thank You my friend!

  • @hollylorn131
    @hollylorn131 2 года назад +18

    Thank you for this video, Andrew! This video is a reality check with describing the narcissist's horrible behavior. If you are missing the ex narcissist, just listen to this video and it will remind you of many of the reasons you left the narcissist. The love bomb stage seemed ideal but actually it was not as wonderful as I thought (light bulb moment). Sometimes it was an uncomfortable time where I was starting to see that differences of opinion couldn't be tolerated by the narcissist. We couldn't agree to disagree or negotiate as equals like other couples do.

  • @fifthavenuegirl
    @fifthavenuegirl 2 года назад

    Yes, good reminder. It is important for us to remember this in order to not recontact. I'm so glad I'm through the recontact point. It took from age 49 to 59 of unfortunately second chances to completely cut ties with ALL. I'm now 61 and have zero desire to recontact any of them. The lies did it for me and cruelty and arrogance.

  • @eileenallen1178
    @eileenallen1178 2 года назад +3

    Once again, Andrew, so brilliantly said. You present the absolute truth, the truth I need to hear to stay on the path. It is amazing how, after the toxic encounter with that horrible man, that I can still long for the “good parts”-which came down to lies, lies, lies and more lies. I realized the other day that all of those “good parts” were actually my reflection-none of it came from the narcissist, he was simply mirroring my good qualities to get what he wanted. So, in reality, there is nothing to miss because it was all an illusion. I have never in my life learned so much from such a brief but intensely toxic relationship. Im still on that path, Andrew. thank you for giving me a hand up when I need it. Bless you always.

  • @Silvereaselartist200
    @Silvereaselartist200 2 года назад +1

    Oh man, when you said they will be next to you, but you've never more lonely in life. This hit home so hard. I'm in the process of divorce and this road out is tough because I have to learn to self care and love myself. Things I didn't do for 20 years.

  • @marietjiestapelberg8230
    @marietjiestapelberg8230 2 года назад +3

    I never felt so lonely, unwanted in my own house,

  • @0hmylegs
    @0hmylegs 2 года назад +1

    Great examples Andrew. What I have a hard time letting go of is the amount of time, love and attention I gave to this person. I was tossed away like a piece of garbage with no remorse. I’m angry with myself for being so giving. My codependent/caring side thought I could help them. Boy was I fooled.

  • @jannlewandowski5540
    @jannlewandowski5540 2 года назад +5

    ANDREW, CONGRATULATIONS ON 80K SUBSCRIBERS! WE LOVE YOU!!❤️❤️❤️

  • @AmyMcillwain
    @AmyMcillwain Месяц назад

    Thank you Andrew,
    I mean that with all of my heart ❤️
    Thank you

  • @wendythomas4930
    @wendythomas4930 2 года назад +5

    You are keeping my mind straight during this "awakening". Thank you soo much!

  • @lisaallen54
    @lisaallen54 2 года назад

    I don’t miss walking on eggshells. I don’t miss second guessing myself. I don’t miss being made the “party pooper.” I don’t miss working 3 jobs while he sat at home living the good life. I don’t miss feeling worthless and like everything I did was wrong. I am in a healthy marriage now. One that I tried to sabotage in the beginning because I didn’t know what “healthy” was. His lack of trying to control me, his lack of jealousy, his being okay with me going out with friends, made me feel like he didn’t love me. Getting out of a narcissistic relationship is hard. But learning to live a “normal” life is even harder. I’m so happy I stayed the course!

  • @lisavansant961
    @lisavansant961 2 года назад +4

    Thank you Andrew for a very good reminder...

  • @careljoefield1707
    @careljoefield1707 Год назад

    Hello Andrew, your teaching is priceless. This information should be taught is schools, churches and communities. Leaving the narc is a process. The moment you understand that the life with a narc is a strategic fantasy built by the them,, self-preservation should kick in. You should run and never ever look back.

  • @mattwesney
    @mattwesney 2 года назад +17

    Hell yea brother, 80k awakened subscribers! It's so crazy seeing this channel grow 🤙🏼✌🏻💙💜

  • @marydellgeorge2425
    @marydellgeorge2425 2 года назад +2

    Everything
    You Said here
    Has helped me
    To want to stay
    Alive

  • @carlosgiron1246
    @carlosgiron1246 2 года назад +4

    I'm so glad you're videos. What I have learned from you is that I thought I needed him. I thought I missed him . But what I really wanted was something he never ever gave me. Love and compassion I was fooled into thinking that one day he would change, but deep down inside I knew he never would. I really feel stupid for waiting for so long for something I would never get. While he cheated and then tell me that it's my fault and look what you made me do 😞

  • @pamh2018
    @pamh2018 2 года назад +2

    28 years of being a good wife. He left when my sister died, no support. Opened my eyes. Grieving doubly but I will get through. Thank you Andrew.

  • @michellebrown8495
    @michellebrown8495 2 года назад +4

    I appreciate these messages.
    I need to know what's real and what's not real.

  • @JethrineBodine
    @JethrineBodine 2 года назад +1

    This was MY LIFE for YEARS. Thank you so much for this! His own mother said to me "remember the bad times." It feels so good to be out from under that massive mountain of confusion and pain. Your videos cut to the quick and can help us move on so much sooner, rooted in reality.

  • @brigittegilmore5756
    @brigittegilmore5756 2 года назад +7

    Andrew I'm trying to stop the crying but darn it u did it again n this one hit home n rang so true. Thank you for helping me heal through this painful process💜🙏💙

  • @paulineEirefairygirl5067
    @paulineEirefairygirl5067 Месяц назад

    Yes I was missing what I deserved and what I should have had. As i came from a very big family, well, what can I say, I was described by friends as being low maintenance, not a spoiled princess, grateful for simple things, being with a narc lowered my life to absolute misery Am I being spoiled to complain ? I got plenty of events blown up by him, my graduation from College, holidays, xmas and other events, missing the support I expected with Parenting seen as that is the one thing he insisted he wanted for his life before we married, I would have faired better as a loan parent, Sir Andrew Many thanks for the clarity and wisdom.