as a mixed raced dude my dad would turn the car around and make my brothers and i brush our hair straight so it wouldn't be messy for school. now my oldest bro straightens his hair, my middle bro shaves his head, im trying to learn how to respect the curls my mom gave me and it is so much information and work. thank you so much for these tutorials.
Wow.. that's unfortunate .. maybe he was just old school and couldn't break his brain out of the box of what you do with Caucasian or even Latino hair that's straighter.. by combing it down.. my kids are also biracial.. I'm Latina and hubby is black.. both my kids have inherited curl.. my daughter more tight dense ringlets and my son more lose thicker hair..i would get up by 5 every school morning to work with thier curls.. on my daughter all of her hairstyles even pony tails or left loose i would finger curl while wet to get these gorgeous perfect curls and on my son just making sure his curls looked prominent and well defined not frizzy.. but thier hair was important to me and I wanted them to love it and they do.. hope you start to enjoy your curls and maybe once they take note of how nice they can look your brothers will get on board.. people don't know how serious hair can be in our self love journey and the view we have of ourselves..
@@perlitabonita185 yeah he was just old school. back in the 40s his teacher would send him home to comb his hair so he expected the same in the 90s. thanks for the reply and i hope your kids appreciate what you're teaching them and that they can do it themselves soon so you can sleep in a little haha.
Your hair needs may be different from hers. Of all of my siblings, 4 of us are biracial, same father, two different mothers. My mother's hair was baby fine but also had a little bit of curl to it. It wasn't obvious because it was so fine, but when her hair was wet it did curl up a little. The younger two, their mother's hair is stick straight and not fine. It's not coarse. It's just not fine. Our father's hair is very definitely 4C, but also ridiculously soft. My sister can use heat to perk up her curls. If I use heat to curl my hair it will be straight by the end of the day. My hair is also a lot drier and curlier than hers (It's actually gotten less curly as I've gotten older, not sure why), so it doesn't do the same thing. My brothers are also very different. The one I share a mother with has hair that can hold it a really nice 'fro. The other one just basically has a bunch of curls. All that is to say that if what she's using doesn't work, you may need to take a look in the black hair care aisle. You won't necessarily need the heavy grease, but you may want to add a very light oil to your hair after you wash it. Drying it with a t-shirt and squeezing rather than rubbing, that's pretty much good for most of us.
I’m a hairdresser and I just want to commend you on doing such a great job of explaining your routine! This is one of the clearest hair tutorials I’ve seen. Well done Elyse!
I have two children that have curly hair and I have not found anyone that could explain the process except they weren't supposed to wash daily or every other day, only once every three weeks or so. And lots of grease buy their hair is not the same. So now going to make 2 girls work through a routine with me because they want their curls to look amazing.
@@mamagraywolfe1952 A tip from my own experience: check the product ingredients as well. For me, it's not just that washing too often is an issue but also that using shampoo or conditioner (and other products now) with certain ingredients messes up my hair. There are a few that make my hair very greasy, while others dry it out. Some of each are in the products I was brought up using. While curly girl method helps with this, I put off trying it for a long time due to how overwhelming it was for me. I found the "wavy girl method" information very helpful, not because my hair is not really curly or kinky but just from the information being much more approachable and flexible. There's one website/blog for it that explains what to do (written & video), what product names mean, order of products, good considerations in being flexible, how to do this economically, and more. That made me finally start. Now, I like to get things that are CGM "approved," but I'm not severe with it. There are a few websites to check things, which I find from searching "curly gurl method product check" or similar. If it's not "approved," they list why. Sometimes it's something I care about, other times it's not important to me or actually something I'm looking to have in the product. At one point, I was annoyed that I couldn't find an approved product with a certain ingredient I wanted to try... turns out the ingredient isn't approved. It is, however, great for my hair! If you're looking to try things and want to keep costs low, I have had a lot of luck with things from that blog and others taking about affordable options. I've also had a lot of luck using cantu products, especially in terms of seeing if I even like a certain type of product (like curl activator or mousse). I feel okay learning and experimenting with it at that price point, which might help with you and your daughters (hence mentioning it). While I planned to then try other brands, for some items I've bought more of the same given how it works. Also, thank you for helping them with this and being open to learning. My own journey world have been a lot better and healthier with someone like you in my life, so I love seeing when others have that. It's about the hair but so, so much more. Good luck!
Please don't feel pressure to respond to this. If you don't mind, though, would you share a few tips/resources for cutting wavy, curly, and kinky hair?
@@musictherapy3976 would you be so kind as to share the online resource you mentioned for wavy hair approach to the curly girl method? I’d love to explore it :)
I struggled with the EXACT same thing, two brothers and not feminine. Picked on. And hating my curls then. I started loving my hair in my 30's. I'm you. I'm crying. THANKS! ❤️ 😊🫂
i'm going to try this, i've always put my hair in a hair bun because everyone always told me i looked ridiculous, but no one taught me how to take care of it. now i'm 30 and i still put my hair in a bun. i am finally ready to stop thinking about others and take this time of my fiancé dumping me to learn this. i have to love myself. thank you. I'll let you know.
I couldn’t say it any better @LaundryFaerie. Elyse thanks for being so candid and vulnerable with all of us. Your curls are lovely and congratulations for allowing them, and yourself, to take up space.
It's so glorious. Seeing people who always felt like they needed to hide, finally bloom as who they feel they were meant to be... Now I'm tearing up too, it's just so nice 🥹
I'm just gonna tuck my concurrence back behind here, y'all've expressed the sentiment so eloquently and sensitively, and I don't want to take up any more room than is necessary. Actually, this is awkward, mental note, come back to delete this for anxiety relief..
I was 6 feet tall, curly haired, awkward girl at 14 and the part where you talked about being afraid to take up space was so relatable to me. I am emotionally right there with you.
Same! I remember clearly one day in class a bully said "I can't see the blackboard behind this mess." I was mortified. I chemically straightened it for years and I hated my hair. I've been in the same journey as many other curlies have and now I love how big and pretty it is. I receive so many compliments for my curly hair now! Remember, it's a process, but if you learn how to love and care for it, it'll give you love back, and it will get beautiful and healthy 😊
The afraid to take space, seems to resonate with so many. Honestly, this is part of exactly what I felt when I was young; I never heard it put that way! Thank you! As far as this routine, I love it and has worked on my 50+ year old hair, I tend to avoid it because it takes so long! I’m not very patient with my routine.
I have had curly hair my whole life and tried to watch a million videos. Elise did in 15:15 what others have failed to do my whole life time. I love how simple and easy she makes this for us fellow curly haired friends!
It's wonderful to care for yourself! Love your hair and ignore any judgment, "What others think of us is none of our business." Good luck finding a haircare routine that works for you Sir❤
As a man with curly hair, do it! The man version of you will thank you. It's your hair, kid, not theirs. TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF. Thanks, have a nice day.
Another hair stylist here just wanting to commend you! You made this SO easy to understand. I love the visuals you gave (visual learner here)! Your hair is stunning and you have such a sweet spirit. You were made to shine!
I was so obsessed with straightening my hair as a teen now I am thirty realizing I want long curly red hair like Merida from Brave. My daughter has beautiful curls and I hope she always embraces them.
It wasnt until I was 30+ years old that I realized I had curly hair because my mom refused to deal with my hair. She always told me my hair was messy when it was just curly. Now I'm trying to figure out how to take care of my curls. This was honestly the nicest and easily broken down tutorial that I've seen.
My mom just didn’t know. My twin and I were told until I was 16 or so that we had “thick”, “frizzy”, “coarse” hair. Low and behold we had been brushing out our curly hair 😮
I was 50ish when I learned I had curly hair. I had always blown my hair out into a bob or some other style & when I was tired of doing it, I cut it super short so I didn’t have to do it & just wanted to wash & go. I waited to schedule a haircut & as it was growing, I realized then that my hair was curly & so I’ve been embracing the curls since. 🙂
It's crazy how many of us go through this! I was in my 40's when I stopped straightening my hair. My mother always brushed my hair out and told me how difficult it was to "fix". I have beautiful curls that I embrace everyday. I'm so glad we're all getting to this spot in our lives where we see and embrace ourselves. Love your hair Elyse!!
Me too! I didn’t realize I had natural curly hair until I was in my early 30’s. I always relaxed it but wanted curly hair. I was so happy when I found it. I love my hair.
Saaame. My mom has very straight hair. She would just brush my hair, it would be huge and frizzy, and she would put that V05 hairdresser ointment on it. I’m 38, and have been doing the CGM for almost a year. I’m a 2C 3A.
Me at the beginning of this video: "Maybe I should do this." Me at the middle of this video: "I don't have time to do this." Me at the end of the video: "I'm worth taking time to do this." ♥
This is the best curly hair tutorial I’ve watched. You condensed like 30 videos I’ve watched into a clear and concise video. Thank you for talking about how “not taking up space” translates into downplaying our curls. That really hit home.
Yeah. This is my first full length video I've watched by Elise, but it's also the simplest, clearest explanation of the curly routine that I've seen. I think I might try it.
Thank you for sharing that vulnerable story. My own mom, trying her best, discouraged any attention to my appearance, she was vehemently anti-vanity, wanting my worth to come from my character. But as a result I didn't learn how to take care of my body or beautify it when I wanted to. I'm 33 with a 10th grade level of make-up, hair-care, and skin-care skills and it infantilizes me in the sight of others. I've been trying to catch up, but it is HARD, and it takes time. I'm currently pregnant with a little girl and I hope I can find the balance between letting my girl express her femininity, and not being obsessed with her image.
You may find a decade or so down the road that when you have a girl and you dont stay current on makeup trends, they come in mighty handy!😂 I stopped wearing makeup daily after my 2nd daughter bc I hated the impression that she thought wearing it was necessary, as she wanted to do just like Mum, so I just stopped wearing it. 5yrs and many compliments from my girls later, I'm now re-learning to do my eye makeup from my 15yr old. Her interest in it came from me initially and Man is she GOOD!😳😍🙌🏼💗 I still swear I'll Never get the winged eyeliner down, but she won't give up on me!😂❤🤙🏼 It'll all come full circle. Your perspective and awareness of your particular raising regarding self care will make for a well rounded young person in no time! Just don't be afraid to ask questions and Always 'patch' test new products as their label recommends for allergies and sensitivities 🤙🏼You'll do just fine!❤
I’m 45 and never learn to walk in high heeled shoes. I have no idea how to dress up. When I wore make up, I used my fingers. I washed my face with dove soap and still do. I feel completely inept and it hasn’t helped that in the last few years washing your face turned into a nine step process.
@@Dogbiteskill I'm a licensed esthetician. Don't get taken in with all that nonsense. Cleanser, toner, and moisturizer if you want. That's it. All that other stuff is extra and optional. You don't have to spend a fortune on any of it. Check out The Ordinary; I've been blown away at the quality of their products, given the wildly affordable price point. If I was still actively working in the field, I'd ab-so-lutely have that in my treatment room.
Im sad your mom failed. Make up isn't self care, it's self voyeurism. Femininity is the act of being female. Not being pretty. Our society is fucking hopeless and you are going to raise another woman who prises her appearance over anything.
If you'd ever like some advice, I'd be happy to offer it 😊 my Mom was sort of the opposite of yours when it came to appearance; your character matters the most but looking well-put-together can go a long way with first impressions. Combine that with my ADHD and cosmetic retail sales background, I have a wealth of knowledge that I'm eager to share but hardly have anyone to share it with. Mom of two boys 🥴
Same girly.. I am a South Indian curly haired girl and most of the girls my age are around 5 to 5'2 feet something tall but I am 5 foot 6 with long black curly hair and I am a curvy girl, many people mistake for being older and even my own family and mom say that I standout too much so they try to cover me up with extreme modest clothes and always ask me to speak and laugh in a "lady like " manner, to this day it hurts me ( I am senior in highschool) but now I am tryna stand up for me and luv myself.. glad to find someone relatable❤
This might sound strange to say (as a stranger on the internet), but you have only become more and more beautiful the longer I’ve known you. Thank you for letting yourself be known, Elyse. I can only speak for my own ’corner of the world’, but the world is a better place for having known you ❤
What’s even crazier is I’m a guy with very short hair and I sat and watched the whole darn video. I’m like whaaat? She always hits home with some kind of message or information that is easily applicable to my life at that time.
@@kingtut1987 YES!! I feel that somehow, Elyse is all of our inner child AND our inner parent simultaneously and effortlessly. She’s a national treasure, and must be protected at all costs 🥲
Don't apologize for getting emotional. It's honest. And relatable. Thank you for your candor. You're a wonderful role model. I think a lot of young girls feel like they don't want to take up space and many of us grew up feeling like that. So take up as much space as you need Elyse Myers, you're forging a path for so many others to follow. 🥰
@@aiai-j7iyeah no, influencers are people to and in no way is she manipulating anybody in any way other than her explaining her journey and the reason behind it.
Wow, wow, You are being so judgmental here. It can take decades of adulthood for many people to uncover and work through some things from their childhoods. She's supposed to be finished already at 30-something? s You can't know what someone's ife was like until you've walked in their shoes. l@@aiai-j7i
@@aiai-j7i”should have been processed by now”? Wtf does that even mean? Are adults not supposed to need therapy, to cry, or have emotions? Whoever made you believe that, I’m sorry. And you may need therapy yourself.
71 y/o and still trying to learn to “rock my curls”. Hate my curls one day, then love them the next. I love that you shared your feelings, and love your curls!
I can't begin to tell you how unintentionally you are hitting the raw spots I have needed to allow myself to expose. I too was a bigger kid and when you said " I was really afraid to take up space" l felt that so deeply...even still... You are so impactful, and for that I am grateful ☺
My hair became straight when I was pregnant. I had 4 children and it got straighter with every pregnancy. I’m 72 now and it is very curly again. I really understand where you are coming from. Proud of you.
Thank you for your response! I’m glad to know we’re not alone! My hair turned curly when my hit puberty. Then, with my first pregnancy, it decreased a level. Fourteen years later I was pregnant for my second time. Again my curls decreased, but this time it was significantly. I just barely had some waves left. Then just about a year later I was pregnant with my third and final son. And I lost what little wave I had left! I was miserable with my hair because I didn’t know how to manage straight hair! I wore a lot of braids. My hair did increase its speed of growth! In two years it grew from shoulder length to just below my waist! That’s the longest it’s ever been! About six years ago I had a complete hysterectomy. Not long after, my hair started growing in with waves. So my conclusion is that it has to do with hormones! Anyone else have a related experience/opinion?
I also had mine get curly with puberty. Two of my sisters also. With my first my curls got much curlier and then with my second pregnancy a year later it got more straight. It felt like it went limp. Hormones have a huge role in curly hair. I think your health and nutrients do also.
I have curly hair, but it became so much thicker and way more curly with all 3 of my pregnancies. Now it's thin and brittle and not as curly. I hope it gets better as I get older.
When you spoke of not being perceived and taking up space, I choked up. I have never been able to put into words how I have felt my whole life, but here we are. You are amazing. Im done making myself small.
Thank you this got me emotional too - after straightening my hair for about 16 years I am finally letting my natural curls do their thing so am in learning mode and the end of your video resonated with me lots. ❤
"I was afraid to take up space." That really hit me because even as an adult I tell myself "don't be a bother, don't be annoying." I think many of us feel your statement although in different ways. As someone with straight hair I always wished mine was curly! I had a friend when I was in Middle School who had hair with beautiful chunky curls and I was always so jealous!
“I was afraid to take up space.” Wow, I related to this! I wore my hair in a ponytail every single day, even in my own home, from the age of 11-18. I was terrified of people seeing my hair and commenting on it because I was so insecure. This was also the early/mid 2000s when pin straight hair was super trendy and I felt like a frizzy mess compared to all the other girls at my school. I’m 28 now and I love my hair more than ever! Thank you for this tutorial and the little therapy session at the end! 💕
Wow, I’m 28 too and for me it was a perfectly curated low “messy” bun. No one in my high school knew I had absolutely ringlets. I feared that frizz would make people think I was the opposite of put together
Oh man I completely relate to this. I’m very shy and I stuck out like a sore thumb in school so naturally I began to straighten my hair to blend in. It also didn’t help that I’m the only person in my family with curly hair! I’ve gone through curly journeys a few times but I’m still struggling with fully accepting it. My roots are extremely curly so I hope to one day do a big chop and start fresh with my curls
Wow, we have the exact same hair timeline. I'm 28 as well, and I wore a ponytail exclusively from 11 until college when I felt like I could wear my hair down because no one knew another version of me. It's so freeing now!
I have seen countless curly girl videos and have always left feeling completely overwhelmed and have yet to try to embrace my natural curls. Yours is the first video I’ve watched that makes the process not only make sense but feel approachable. For the first time since I was a teenager; you’ve made me decide to go for it and get my curls back. Thank you for taking the time to put this together. It was brilliantly done. ❤️❤️❤️
Do it!! You can even switch back and forth between Curly Girl Method and conventional, just make sure to do a sulfate wash in between to remove silicones and other products. I learned the hard way that oily Curly Girl products and heat styling don't mix. My hair literally got cooked and horribly damaged and frizzy.
I was 27 years unhappy with my super frizzy hair and always asked for help at the different hairdressers throughout the years. I had no idea what to do and like a few weeks ago I started to learn through RUclips videos how to take proper care of my hair. This is by far the best explained video I could find!
Your hair is FABULOUS! I’m 67 and just now, for the first time,realized I have curly hair. I’ve struggled with “frizzy, puffy hair” my whole life. But, that’s because I didn’t realize it’s curly and needs special handling. Your tutorial is exceptional and I will use your techniques this week. Thank you!
OMG! My curly cut experience was AMAZING! The stylist not only cut my hair, but spent 2 hours with me teaching me everything I needed to know to create gorgeous, soft curls. My curls are set free!
I grew up being taught to treat my hair as straight hair and that my curls were tangles that need a brush ripped through them. I destroyed my curl pattern because of this. You are the first person I’ve found with short and curly hair like mine to share their process. I’ve spent the past two years trying to get my natural curls back to being healthy and learn to love them again and this tutorial makes so much sense, so clear and such an easy process 😭 thank you so much
Same! I got in trouble growing up for my hair being frizzy or "messy" as they would put it, and would be told to comb my hair (which would only encourage more frizz)
Sameeee! So unfortunate! Big question, what do you do to retrain your curls? A lot of my hair fell out and changed after I had my baby. It's pretty much all grown back but I don't have the same curls as before and could use some tips!
Same because my mom had straight hair and did not know what to do with mine and of course she made me her Mini-Me it had to be cut and style the exact same as hers 80s bangs and side puffs and all
@@theendtimes1705 Me? I've tried honestly just about every method out there from the curly girl method to just experimenting with products. I spent a bit learning the difference between straight and curly hair care and tried out different brands of shampoo and conditioner. After my hair started to show its curls again from a little less then a year of proper washing and care not too much different then shown in the video, I started "training" them with foam curlers. Since my curl pattern was damaged my hair didn't curl in a uniformed way because it didn't remember how. I'd have patches of waves, patches of ringlets and patches of curls all at once. Foam curlers doent use heat or anything to make your hair curl they just hold the shape. So I'd plop my hair as in the video but then instead of blow drying it I would section it off after and pin it up in the curlers. I started out letting my hair dry in the curlers the first few times and then slowly lessened the time. I only wear the curlers for 15 or so minutes after a shower now just to give my damaged hair that little extra support. It's been two years now and my curls still arent perfect but they're holding up and forming on their own for the most part again. I'm planning to retire the curlers and move on to a diffuser once I am able to buy one. I may have made faster progress if I'd gone to a professional at any point but I've just done everything myself with what I could at home but I'm proud of the progress I've made
Sammmeeeeeee. I finally started to embrace my curls and went to Florida to visit my grandma. My hair had been on the natural journey for a few years at that time and the Florida humidity made my hair curl up BEAUTIFULLY. I was actually feeling pretty good about myself. And, before going out to eat (in public, obviously), my grandma said I looked like an “aging hippie” with my hair the way it was. It was almost as if she was embarrassed to be seen with me. Which is actually probably true bc that’s how she is as a person. Anyway, that cut deep bc hair, at that time, was one of the only physical characteristics I liked about myself.
Thank you for the awesome tutorial and your vulnerability. I feel most of us curlies have hated our hair and then grown to accept and love it. It is a crown on our heads. You are beautiful and take all the space that you can!
“I was really afraid to take up space, in every way.” Oh man, that line alone brought me to tears. It felt so raw and true, and it really hit home for me. A lifetime of being told my wavy, frizzy hair was too big. That I was too thin, and then “nice and chubby” after having children. That I laughed too loud, and smiled too big. The list goes on, and it makes me sad to even read now! The “how dare you?” and “you’re a liar” are things I’ve thought countless times, but you always think you’re alone. So thank you for being so vulnerable 💕 PS. My hair became MUCH straighter during my pregnancies… plus I lost a TON post-partum. Now I find myself missing my “poofy” hair!
Oh my gosh. Who knew that a curly hair tutorial would be one of the most heartfelt and deep videos you’ve posted?! Girl, you and your curls are so beautiful and you fill space in the best possible way. ❤❤❤ You are amazing, strong, beautiful, and the perfect version of you. Thank you for being vulnerable- and thanks so much for the curly girl tips!!
You are such a sweet soul! Your voice, is so soothing! Thanks for the tips! I'm 68 years old and I'm still trying to figure out the best routine for my curly hair... I've bought many many products, but still haven't found the one that works best for my hair. That's why I watch so many curly hair videos! Thank you for taking the time putting yours online! I love your curls! Looking forward to your other videos!
I’ve never run across your content before, but I got emotional right along with you because your story is so similar to my own. It’s true what they say: “If you ask a curly girl about her hair, she’ll tell you about her life.” It is so true that the process of accepting and loving your curls can actually be a process of accepting and loving yourself. I enjoyed this video so much and your curls are gorgeous. You found a new subscriber in me 😊
I’m 58 years old and have had curly hair in my entire life and always struggled with it. Especially after college when I started working I was told by numerous people that my curly hair was unprofessional. For the last eight years I’ve been getting keratin treatments so it is straight but watching your video has me thinking of embracing my curls again. Thank you for this!
To anyone who tells you that ever again in life, respond with: "So is a bad attitude!" I can't believe the audacity of some people. Sorry that happened to you and you were pushed into altering a part of yourself, you did not necessarily want to alter. ❤🩹
Same. 58 and was told my hair was unprofessional when I first started working because it was long and very thick with a natural wave/curl pattern. It would take me over an hour every day to dry and straighten it and I started keeping it shorter as time went by. Then I found Brazilian keratin treatment which worked until my scalp rebelled. Now I just air dry and let it be most days. I heat style it on occasion. I’ve tried the curly hair method but it left my hair dry.
@@ralphandleosmom9075 then you might have been using the wrong products or combination of products - it's a whole science... I haven't really figured it out yet, but my hair is also just slightly wavy at most and hangs straight if I don't put an effort in...
Gosh, people are so ridiculous sometimes. How can anyone say that your natural hair is "unprofessional" ? Especially considering your hair was barely curly to begin with, which sounds alot like how my hair is. The so many different ways we use our unfounded and unwanted advice to put others down just astounds me. You should have told them that blonde hair or eyeglasses were unprofessional. Though I suppose that would just be sinking down to their level. Your curls are, I'm sure, gorgeous, and I really hope you can embrace them and not change yourself over anothers opinion. Your thoughts on your hair are the only ones thoughts that count. Good luck rocking those curls !!!
This is not only the best hair tutorial I’ve ever seen but the best RUclips tutorial period. I don’t have curly hair but I do make instructional content for a living and this video is impeccable. Everything from the progress guide, to the why’s for each step, I’m truly inspired. Not only does Elyse seem like the kindest person but she’s amazing at what she does, I’m never not impressed.
Hey, I'm a chick in her 30s who has only JUST started to embrace her curls and try and do a more indepth routine for accentuating and loving my curls as they are. Like others I really appreciate the straightforwardness and detailed routine you've shared. Always something new to learn- thank you so much!
Not gonna lie, for me this was one of the best curly hair tutorials I’ve watched. You explained the reason for each step. Your entire life journey has been a blessing to watch ❤️
As a mama of a 7 year old daughter with your same hair type, it broke my heart to hear how you felt as a child. And reminded me of why I (with only 2a waves myself) immediately started reading and studying up on curls when she was turning 2, so I could help her love them always. I’m so glad you’re having this experience now. I’m crying right along with you. ❤
I would love to see a kid friendly version of this tutorial. Like, what is realistic for a young child to sit through for styling and manage? Should the products/ styling change with curly haired kids as they grow?
@@NightwingAquaman definitely my daughter’s routine is much more simple, and it always has been. You can find kids curly hair routines if you search! But at a certain point they can just use small amounts of regular adult products and have a simplified pared down routine. You definitely have to accept and embrace the frizz with kids, in my personal experience. But I don’t speak for any other textures of hair than mine and my daughter’s.
@@NightwingAquaman we only air dry, and my styling routine for her takes under a minute. I just get her to sit and read, or sit and play with some stationary thing for at least an hour to get a start on drying. Then after that, kids are going to be kids, and I don’t stress about the hair being perfect. Biggest styling ‘rule’ I had to teach her was to never touch her hair when it’s drying. So she just keeps her hands off, doesn’t put on hats etc when it’s wet.
2 things probs happened -- the hormones can change the oils in your scalp, either make it more dry or more oily - which can make your hair lose body. Stress can do this as well, not just pregnancy :) it can take time to re-adjust, or it just needs a bit of love. OR you now have new hair! :D I know this because im from a half-black half-white family, and some of us kids had dead straight/wavy hair until puberty and then BAM! INSANE AFRO!! xD hormones can definitely play a part on your hair type and it can definitely change! :)
The struggles of what you went through as a kid both in struggling to accept and embrace your femininity as well as being afraid as a bigger person to take up more space, to draw attention to yourself and to stand out because of them I feel on a spiritual level with you and I am so happy to see you loving that part of yourself openly. Thank you for sharing this with us
I’m 41, grew up without a mom, just men. I feel seen and understood by your explanation of the fear of perception/taking up space. Got super emotional with you while watching. Thanks for helping me with the courage to try this out and accept my curls. ❤
Dear Elyse, You are an inspiration!! Truly. You have been such an inspiration to me. As a woman with ADHD. As a socially awkward person. As someone with anxiety. As a mom. As an indecisive person. As someone who struggles with insecurities. As someone who battles people pleasing. As someone who struggles with depression and has been suicidal. As someone who has fought her curly hair for over two decades. Thank you for sharing your experiences, opinions, and life with the world, as well as this tutorial!! I enjoy all your videos and podcast and love how sincere you are. Keep being your authentic self and don’t let anyone make you feel less than the exceptional person you are!! 💕
Thank you for sharing. I am so grateful for Elyse and her voice in this world - having the courage to be vulnerable and share challenges, struggles and victories. This video is about the hair but it’s also not about the hair it’s about - many things, including noticing ways we seek to please and might lose ourselves in the process, learning to listen to our own voice and growing the courage to be ourselves in a world that wants conformity. 💜
@@rachelforshee6014I can understand if this is your first and only video you’ve seen of Elyse, my comment may seem silly for this particular video. However, I’ve been following her content on Instagram, TikTok, and RUclips. What she shares is funny, honest, open, uplifting, embracing, and many things she said or gone through are things I’ve also experienced, yet felt so alone in those experiences. It’s very relieving to know there are others out there with similar experiences, most of which are rarely mentioned in our society. I’ve lived in Alaska and Idaho. Im a few years older than Elyse and am very thankful for her content. ☺️
My hair turned curly at about 12-13. I'm 39 now and still struggling with how to manage it. Thank you for this video. It's so clear, concise, and easy to maintain. I'd love a video on non-wash day hair. That is the one I just cannot get a handle on. ❤️
I realized my hair stupid frizzy hair was actually just curly when I was 14. I saw a commercial for frizz-ease. My mother couldn’t be bothered so I convinced my dad to buy it for me. He was great. He bought me the entire line. It only took a few days for my curls to show up.
Mine did that too before the age of about 11 or 12 I had straight "Marcia Brady" hair and then it turned curly and it was horrible because no one knew what to do with it and it was frizzy nightmare.
For 2nd and third day hair just mist your hair with a mister like she shows in the video! It reactivates the product and the curls and helps tone down any frizz that shows up over night. Then you can scrunch in more product and re-diffuse/air dry.
At 57 I started letting my hair curl in 2020, of course when no one was around. My hair is long and curly and now I am considering letting my grey come through. I am glad you learned to love your hair at a younger age. I think my inhibition began in high school when all of my sisters had extreme straight hair and called my curls messy if not combed out. Funny they all got perms for decades. Love your content!.
I'm 38 & let my Gray grow out bc it's expensive to get hair colored. I have wavy hair but am trying to train the waves bc some are really curly. I get compliments from older women that still color their hair. They all say they wish their Gray would look good "like mine" but I think we all have such beautiful patterns, if we let it grow out. My Gray now looks like balayage to me & I don't mind it at all. I trip out that the Gray stands grow long now bc I used to have so much breakage. I actually like seeing a full length Gray strand. It makes me smile. I feel like it's my Glitter & that makes me happy. 😊
i finished doing this and….my 3b curls are back…my curls are back….THANK YOU so so much for this tutorial it’ll now be my go to wash day routine from now on. thank you so much elyse. youve practically helped me save and replenish my hair
you’re glowing elyse. you’re not only allowed, but encouraged to take up space. thank you from the bottom of my heart for posting this, im grateful for your story and tutorial in every way. this was such a helpful and amazing video. i can speak for all of us when i say that you’re so beautiful and worthy to feel that within your curls.
I swear to god if i ever got a chance to meet her and like I was at some table with a handicapped spot (I’m in a wheelchair) I would offer to make room for her to sit because I would just love to talk to her.
This is the first time I actually understood a video explaining what to do with curls. I have been trying for years to love my natural hair but I had no one in my life to help me find a place to start! 😭 Thank you!
I have very straight hair, but I decided to watch this anyway to see what you have learned. I am so glad I did! What an amazing journey you have been on! Congratulations on finding that love for who you are.
This is huge for me!!!! I am 65 years old and just started to embrace my curly hair. I grew up thinking it was the worst part of me! Can’t wait to try it out. THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!! Love you❤
I’m also 65 and was the only person in my family with curls. I grew up with my mom calling it frizz though. I was taught to brush it and try to make it straight. I was born in Seattle and grew up not for from the Olympic Rain forest. Frizz, frizz, & more frizz. So anyway I grew up thinking that I only had curl in the very back of my head at the nape of my neck. I straight ironed and even ironed my hair on the ironing board with an iron. Not once has a hairdresser ever mentioned me giving into the curl. I never knew my whole head had curl. My hair now is naturally salt and light pepper. It’s very long with long layers. I’m still learning products but it has quite a bit of wave and curl to it. I’m going to cut it this weekend and for the first time grow curly hair. I hope anyway.
I've had curly hair my entire 37 year life and have NEVER seen a better, simpler, more helpful tutorial. I’ve been straightening for the last couple years and I’m inspired to embrace my authentic curls!! ❤️❤️❤️
You are not only worthy of taking up space, you enhance the space and those around you! Your honesty is refreshing and you not only taught me things about taking care of my hair, you touched my heart in so many ways. Keep on learning how to love yourself - you are wonderful! 🥰❤
"I am allowed to take up space" 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 so much power in this! Thank you for your honesty and vulnerability, Elyse! Your insight helps me learn to love myself too
I’m a mom of a 14 year old girl who struggles with her curls. I loooove her curls and I so want her to feel happy and proud of her own natural self. I’m excited to share this with her. Thank you!
As a natural hair girl its somewhat comforting to know everyone cries over their curls. I love seeing people rediscover their hair and learning to be comfortable in their own skin 💕
I am so incredibly glad I stumbled on your video... I'm 42 and I'm only about a month into this journey... I either straightened or just put it up and back.... I have always fought and hated my hair... And now I have a daughter. And I saw her hating her hair, and it crushed me.... Because she is soooo beautiful with her curls. I want to teach her to love them. So I knew I had to learn on myself so I could help her.... It's been life changing - and it feels like an insignificant thing to be so incredibly self conscious about .. just going through a day with the hair I've always hid. I don't recognize the face in the mirror. I still feel like I'm taking up way too much space. But knowing I'm not the only one to feel so MUCH about hair .. it made me feel vain - but you validated my feelings, and your vulnerability is endearing. Thank you for the tutorial. I'll follow you. But thanks for your honesty. Thank you so much for putting yourself out there. You're beautiful! And... As a self proclaimed Tom boy - you're really beautiful, and far more feminine than you realize. There is an inmate softness to you that is very sensitive and compassionate. That to me is feminity. I'd love to feel sexy in a dress, I just feel like a giant clown - so .. I'm the chick that likes pants and conservative tops, where I feel safe... At least now I can have fun with my hair. Step one, right?! Always be a work in progress... This section... The hair. Lol... Thanks again.
Came here to understand my natural hair again...over 40. And just wow. Thank you for the super detailed how to, but more importantly...bless you, woman. The vulnerability you showed in mentally dealing with the hurdle of learning to love yourself as you are was just what I needed to hear! Loved this so much! ❤❤❤
Elyse as someone who grew up with big frizzy curly hair I identify with all of what you said and actually cried when the Disney movie Brave came out because I finally saw a Disney princess with hair like mine. I just love you for sharing this with us so vulnerably. I just used your method and my hair looks great!❤
Thank you for discussing this. As a teen in the early 2000s who was also an emo kid, straight hair was it. I HATED my hair. I hated that it felt like EVERYONE had an opinion on it too. I was never taught how to take care of my hair. It always looked like a frizzy mess until I got a hair straightener at 14 and fried it every day. Now I’m in my 30s trying to figure it out and frustrated for the little girl in me who deserved better.
I relate so much. I was always told that it was my fault for not caring for my hair, but... I tried. The actually problem was that I was only ever told how to care for thin, straight hair. Even getting haircuts, I'd get yelled at when my hair wasn't even (cut wet) afterwards. My family members would get irritated by frizz or dryness (where I couldn't even see) and insist I brush it. I now realize that's why it got worse, not me. I've been leaning into my hair, and it's so much better. It's still a struggle and a process to accept it (especially with certain family still commenting their ignorance).
I so admire how honest and authentic and vulnerable but most importantly forward moving you are. You reflect, emote and then keep going with newfound wisdom. I’m easily 10 years older and definitely envy your inner and outer beauty because it seems so genuine.
The emotional toll of being a bigger girl with curly hair is so hard to recognize! Then when I finally started to accept and heal my body image, I got pregnant and lost my curls too! My first pregnancy is what inspired me to look into CGM and now that I’m pregnant again I miss my curls so much! I have to keep reminding myself they’ll come back.
When I watch youTube I heard some else comment about "losing" their natural curls while pregnant. I was shocked !! I don't have children but (until the person on the video made that comment) I had never heard of such a thing. Is it related to the huge shift in certain hormones ?? Why does this happen to some woman ♀️ and not others? That is very interesting to me. When your curls finally come back are they the same size and pattern ?
I hope yours will do what mine did...fall out (well, I don't wish you the falling out part!) after each pregnancy and then regrow curlier with a vengeance. I even lost hair after surgeries with general anesthesia and had the regrow be curlier. Wishing you the best luck!
I completely understand this. I was just feeling comfortable wearing (and feeling cute in) crop tops and "tighter-ish" clothes while also healing my curls...then I got pregnant and everything just went away. But I can't wait to meet my little boy and get back to where I was and this video will definitely help me out with the hair portion
Just starting out my curly hair journey. I'm 36 and have been fighting my curls all my life too. I've recently realised I need to embrace my curls, embrace me. Been binge watching curly hair videos to learn how to look after my curls and your video is by far the most informative, easy to follow and relatable. Thank you so much.
I am 32 years old and have spent my entire life wishing my hair smaller. I accepted it was naturally frizzy and awful and embarrassing until a stylist recently told me it was actually extremely curly. I haven’t gotten to the place where I can rock my curls - don’t totally know how to do it on my own and I’m still battling my feelings about how it looks- but I am motivated to try after your tutorial and your super honest words at the end. Thank you very very much. ❤
I hope you come to a place where you're able to love your hair. ❤️ I started my natural hair journey one year ago. It's really hard at first! I was so self conscious. The curly tutorials and curly influencer videos were also really intimidating at first. I wish I would have seen a video like this when I started my journey. If you decide to go natural just stick with it! It's going to be hard at first, but you will eventually start feeling more confident. I'm finally able to love my hair as it is! It's a good feeling.
@@indiecowan33 I agree! I have straight hair, but I would love to have naturally curly hair. The grass is always greener as they say lol! Whenever I see someone with beautiful curly hair, I always try to complement them on their curls because I've seen how much work goes into maintaining them.
Rebecca, you’re gonna look great ❤ try it out here and there and then gradually get into it (that’s what I did) I haven’t had straight hair in years now and feel like I would look so weird lol
Your emotions around your curly hair & around taking up space resonate with me on an incredibly deep level. My mom had pin-straight dark hair. She and my sister both got perms at times to make their hair curly (I’m an 80’s/90’s kid). I had this thick frizzy red mop of hair that no one seemed to know what to do with except constantly try brush out and de-tangle. When I was just out of college, I got a professional haircut & let my hair dry without messing with it & it curled! It still didn’t saw on my that I actually had naturally curly hair, though, and I just thought it was some kind of years-long fluke. I got my hair permed straight at one point because I didn’t know what to do with it & whenever I tried brushing it out, it just poufed up into a frizzball. When COVID hit, I randomly didn’t try to “fix” my hair & it dried curly. After nearly two years, it finally dawned on me that I have curly hair & I started this journey of embracing my natural curls. It’s been emotional, healing, and empowering, to say the least! Sending you so much love and light as you continue you’re journey as well! 💖✨
It's amazing how much something as "silly" as hair can impact our whole life. It's not just about vanity, it's self acceptance, and realizing that we've been fighting against something that's a natural part of us, and how that connects to so many other parts of our lives. It's also funny/heartbreaking that others try so hard to have attributes that come naturally to us, yet we're trying to get what others have too! Sucks that it takes us til our 30s/40s to realize this stuff! 😢😅
Elyse, you are such a light in this dark world. Please, if you have the time, make a video on how you style your hair on a non-wash day! Those are the most tricky for me and my curls. I’ve been on a similar journey for the past 6 months and this really hit me in the feels ❤
I second this request. I’m still learning about my curly hair - always thought it was just ‘frizzy’ and messy and was trying to make it straight and smooth most of my life. But now the off-days are hardest for me as well. Although I am still finding the right products. I really LOVE my Beekman 1802 shampoo & conditioner, but as far as styling products I’m still open to trying new things, although the Unite Boing gel is okay. And yes…as a person who doesn’t take up a small amount of space physically, embracing my curls has been a challenge emotionally, but definitely part of my healing journey. Thank you so much, Elyse - seeing you and your kindness always makes the world feel like a better place to be alive in🫶🏽🥰
Woa, your sincerity & vulnerability are incredible. This goes beyond a comprehensive how-to video and hits on something deeper and more introspective. As someone who has curly hair and is just now (30’s) truly understanding how to care and style and embrace my hair I’m feeling inspired and seen. Thank you truly 💜
Me, a person with stick straight hair that won't even hold an artificial curl, here watching a curly hair tutorial and loving it because Elyse 🤷♀️ You're great, lady! And curls look awesome
I started my journey of embracing my curls about 5 years ago. I have watched HUNDREDS of videos, and this is by far the most helpful. Thank you!! ETA: just finished your video, you are so real and raw and a JOY. Thank you for taking up space. Thank you for being here and sharing yourself.
Holy smokes girl I wasn’t expecting you to share exactly what I struggled with in my life. Being afraid to take up space. Literally and metaphorically. And when you said why would I take the time to love something about myself that no one else likes rather than just change it to what everybody else wants and be loved by everyone else. Daggers. You are a beautiful person and I’m so happy you have found your voice 🩷🩷🩷🩷
I've been in and out of the curly girl stuff for forever. 10 years now. I could never find out how to make my 2c 3a curls work. And as I'm on a self love journey, I'm committed to trying this routine for myself! You have the curls I always dreamed of, but no one seemed to have a solid routine that would work for me. The too soft=more product tip is fugggin goolllddd!!!
Thank you for this in-depth tutorial and for your on-screen vulnerability!!! It’s so lovely and powerful to hear your healing journey. I hope you’re proud of yourself!! AFAB people and women deserve to take up space 💖💖💖
I’m in my mid 40’s. My 17 y/o daughter introduced me to one of your shorts. I just want you to know that even in this stage of my life, I can relate so much to your experiences. You express many of the same thoughts I find myself having. I’m really enjoying your content! As a mom of a teenage girl, I approve! You are a gem! Keep sharing and creating, Dear!
9:18 awe! My nana used to say “Girls are prettiest when they love themselves” You looked so pleased with yourself which was so sweet! It’s normal to get emotional..
I’m just coming across this video and teared up when you talked about not wanting to take up space with your body, hair, or voice. as someone who has always been in a plus size body my entire life who also has curly hair, that really hit home for me. so proud of how far you’ve come and love that you’re embracing your curls! ❤
Thank you so much ♥ I always appreciate your raw vulnerability and humorous anecdotes on life. It helps us all feel a little safer to be ourselves too and realize how much we can all grow as humans.
I am biracial and have SUCH a similar story of taking YEARS to love and understand my curls with a super white single mom who had no idea what to do with my massive hair. It’s really hard for me to put into words how beautiful and relatable your story and this video is. I also have had 3 babies now and EVERY time loose my curls. I actually just had my third baby just two years after my second 😅 so my hair had just grown back and I had cut off the old hair when I surprisingly found out I was pregnant again. It actually made me super sad to go thru this hair journey all over again because it is really a challenge to figure out what to do with hair curly and straight hair and then go thru it again with straight and curly hair growing back in. Definitely effects my confidence. Well, sorry for the super long comment. I just really loved this and connected so much. Wish I could hug you because I don’t have many friends that have gone thru such similar stuff like me. Cheers 😊
My mom cut her hair when my brother and I were born. It was easier for her. We have curly hair but were never taught how to care for it. Now I struggle with mine and my kiddos but learning.
I spent so much of my childhood exactly where you were for exactly those reasons . You didn't expect to get emotional explaining your routine, I certainly didn't expect to get emotional watching it. I don't have the word to express how not alone you made me feel. You rock! Hugs to you!!❤
I had straight hair as a child, curly hair when I hit puberty, straight again through my pregnancies, and now as a 30 year old, it is wavy. Hormones can change your hair for sure!! I miss the curls I had in high school. You are a gem of a person.
I’ve spent most of my life struggling with frizzy hair, I have like a mix of 2C 3A and my hair only looks good one day, and it’s after I wash it, so I’m really glad to finally be learning better techniques to be happier with it
I hated my hair until I was 27. I didn’t understand my curly hair and just threw it in a ponytail all the time. Learning to love and care for your hair really is life changing 💕
I watched this a year ago, thought to myself, one day I will do a curly hair routine - no more frizzy brushed out, no routine hair. I just ordered some product (I’ve really only used shampoo and conditioner, just bare minimum stuff)! I forgot about you bring me to tears in that end talk, it resonates so deeply
I have followed your journey through the years, and I’m 100% sure that when I grow up I want to be like you (doesn’t matter that I’m 45); you are an inspiration to those of us who can greatly relate to you. Thank you for being transparent and courageous. You are beautiful! 🥰
I can’t tell you how many “curly girl” routines I’ve watched and felt so overwhelmed and like I’d never be able to do it. Also.. the overstimulation with products, I’ve never heard someone else feel that way. I so feel like I’m suffocating and instantly regret doing my hair. I’m hopeful to try these products or to find some that don’t make me feel that way! Thanks for taking up space to teach and share your voice. ❤❤❤
I actually don’t have curly hair, but my sister does. And I KNOW she has had the same feelings about her hair being the only one in the family with curly hair. Thank you so much Elyse for providing this video so I can send it to my sister. I’ve never known how to help her or encourage her with her hair because I legitimately don’t understand. I’m so excited. She’s gonna LOVE it ❤
as a mixed raced dude my dad would turn the car around and make my brothers and i brush our hair straight so it wouldn't be messy for school. now my oldest bro straightens his hair, my middle bro shaves his head, im trying to learn how to respect the curls my mom gave me and it is so much information and work. thank you so much for these tutorials.
❤
Such an emotionally loaded experience to just get ready in the morning.
Wow.. that's unfortunate .. maybe he was just old school and couldn't break his brain out of the box of what you do with Caucasian or even Latino hair that's straighter.. by combing it down.. my kids are also biracial.. I'm Latina and hubby is black.. both my kids have inherited curl.. my daughter more tight dense ringlets and my son more lose thicker hair..i would get up by 5 every school morning to work with thier curls.. on my daughter all of her hairstyles even pony tails or left loose i would finger curl while wet to get these gorgeous perfect curls and on my son just making sure his curls looked prominent and well defined not frizzy.. but thier hair was important to me and I wanted them to love it and they do.. hope you start to enjoy your curls and maybe once they take note of how nice they can look your brothers will get on board.. people don't know how serious hair can be in our self love journey and the view we have of ourselves..
@@perlitabonita185 yeah he was just old school. back in the 40s his teacher would send him home to comb his hair so he expected the same in the 90s. thanks for the reply and i hope your kids appreciate what you're teaching them and that they can do it themselves soon so you can sleep in a little haha.
Your hair needs may be different from hers. Of all of my siblings, 4 of us are biracial, same father, two different mothers.
My mother's hair was baby fine but also had a little bit of curl to it. It wasn't obvious because it was so fine, but when her hair was wet it did curl up a little. The younger two, their mother's hair is stick straight and not fine. It's not coarse. It's just not fine.
Our father's hair is very definitely 4C, but also ridiculously soft.
My sister can use heat to perk up her curls. If I use heat to curl my hair it will be straight by the end of the day.
My hair is also a lot drier and curlier than hers (It's actually gotten less curly as I've gotten older, not sure why), so it doesn't do the same thing.
My brothers are also very different. The one I share a mother with has hair that can hold it a really nice 'fro. The other one just basically has a bunch of curls.
All that is to say that if what she's using doesn't work, you may need to take a look in the black hair care aisle. You won't necessarily need the heavy grease, but you may want to add a very light oil to your hair after you wash it.
Drying it with a t-shirt and squeezing rather than rubbing, that's pretty much good for most of us.
I’m a hairdresser and I just want to commend you on doing such a great job of explaining your routine! This is one of the clearest hair tutorials I’ve seen. Well done Elyse!
I have two children that have curly hair and I have not found anyone that could explain the process except they weren't supposed to wash daily or every other day, only once every three weeks or so. And lots of grease buy their hair is not the same. So now going to make 2 girls work through a routine with me because they want their curls to look amazing.
@@mamagraywolfe1952 A tip from my own experience: check the product ingredients as well. For me, it's not just that washing too often is an issue but also that using shampoo or conditioner (and other products now) with certain ingredients messes up my hair. There are a few that make my hair very greasy, while others dry it out. Some of each are in the products I was brought up using.
While curly girl method helps with this, I put off trying it for a long time due to how overwhelming it was for me. I found the "wavy girl method" information very helpful, not because my hair is not really curly or kinky but just from the information being much more approachable and flexible. There's one website/blog for it that explains what to do (written & video), what product names mean, order of products, good considerations in being flexible, how to do this economically, and more. That made me finally start.
Now, I like to get things that are CGM "approved," but I'm not severe with it. There are a few websites to check things, which I find from searching "curly gurl method product check" or similar. If it's not "approved," they list why. Sometimes it's something I care about, other times it's not important to me or actually something I'm looking to have in the product. At one point, I was annoyed that I couldn't find an approved product with a certain ingredient I wanted to try... turns out the ingredient isn't approved. It is, however, great for my hair!
If you're looking to try things and want to keep costs low, I have had a lot of luck with things from that blog and others taking about affordable options. I've also had a lot of luck using cantu products, especially in terms of seeing if I even like a certain type of product (like curl activator or mousse). I feel okay learning and experimenting with it at that price point, which might help with you and your daughters (hence mentioning it). While I planned to then try other brands, for some items I've bought more of the same given how it works.
Also, thank you for helping them with this and being open to learning. My own journey world have been a lot better and healthier with someone like you in my life, so I love seeing when others have that. It's about the hair but so, so much more.
Good luck!
Please don't feel pressure to respond to this. If you don't mind, though, would you share a few tips/resources for cutting wavy, curly, and kinky hair?
@@musictherapy3976 would you be so kind as to share the online resource you mentioned for wavy hair approach to the curly girl method? I’d love to explore it :)
TOTALLY agree 💯 👍
How the heck did a instructional video on hair becomes so therapeutic? Thank you. I really freaking needed it.
I struggled with the EXACT same thing, two brothers and not feminine. Picked on. And hating my curls then. I started loving my hair in my 30's. I'm you. I'm crying. THANKS! ❤️ 😊🫂
i'm going to try this, i've always put my hair in a hair bun because everyone always told me i looked ridiculous, but no one taught me how to take care of it. now i'm 30 and i still put my hair in a bun. i am finally ready to stop thinking about others and take this time of my fiancé dumping me to learn this. i have to love myself. thank you. I'll let you know.
As someone else who didn't want to be noticed or take up too much space, I tell you: being who you are is glorious. So proud of you.
I couldn’t say it any better @LaundryFaerie. Elyse thanks for being so candid and vulnerable with all of us. Your curls are lovely and congratulations for allowing them, and yourself, to take up space.
It's so glorious. Seeing people who always felt like they needed to hide, finally bloom as who they feel they were meant to be... Now I'm tearing up too, it's just so nice 🥹
I'm just gonna tuck my concurrence back behind here, y'all've expressed the sentiment so eloquently and sensitively, and I don't want to take up any more room than is necessary. Actually, this is awkward, mental note, come back to delete this for anxiety relief..
I was 6 feet tall, curly haired, awkward girl at 14 and the part where you talked about being afraid to take up space was so relatable to me. I am emotionally right there with you.
Same! I remember clearly one day in class a bully said "I can't see the blackboard behind this mess." I was mortified. I chemically straightened it for years and I hated my hair. I've been in the same journey as many other curlies have and now I love how big and pretty it is. I receive so many compliments for my curly hair now! Remember, it's a process, but if you learn how to love and care for it, it'll give you love back, and it will get beautiful and healthy 😊
Yes
“I was really afraid to take up space.” That really resonated with me. What a perfect way to articulate that feeling. I feel that so much.
Isn’t it so sad so many of us felt this way? Then our frizz just added to it.
This comment hit me so hard. 😢😢
Agree
The afraid to take space, seems to resonate with so many. Honestly, this is part of exactly what I felt when I was young; I never heard it put that way! Thank you! As far as this routine, I love it and has worked on my 50+ year old hair, I tend to avoid it because it takes so long! I’m not very patient with my routine.
I have had curly hair my whole life and tried to watch a million videos. Elise did in 15:15 what others have failed to do my whole life time. I love how simple and easy she makes this for us fellow curly haired friends!
literally I've never master the denmann brush curl, but this makes it look easy? Will definitely try along the video!
As a boy with curly hair who really wants to take better care of his hair, but is afraid of getting juged for it. I feel you and thank you so much.❤
It's wonderful to care for yourself! Love your hair and ignore any judgment, "What others think of us is none of our business." Good luck finding a haircare routine that works for you Sir❤
Judgement comes mostly from the jealous. Be you, and the right people will find you 😀💛
As a man with curly hair, do it! The man version of you will thank you. It's your hair, kid, not theirs. TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF. Thanks, have a nice day.
Do it! Guys with curls are the best❣️
Another hair stylist here just wanting to commend you! You made this SO easy to understand. I love the visuals you gave (visual learner here)! Your hair is stunning and you have such a sweet spirit. You were made to shine!
No one talks about the emotional aspect of having curls as a child as a teenager🥺 i felt every single word you said♥️
Same. I listened to a few of her podcasts and realized I relate to her a lot! Several times I was like, “is that Me talking!?”
same ❤
Same 🥲🥲🥲 especially in the 90s and 00s when that pin straight hair was back in style...
I was so obsessed with straightening my hair as a teen now I am thirty realizing I want long curly red hair like Merida from Brave. My daughter has beautiful curls and I hope she always embraces them.
I hear ya! Same here 😊
It wasnt until I was 30+ years old that I realized I had curly hair because my mom refused to deal with my hair. She always told me my hair was messy when it was just curly. Now I'm trying to figure out how to take care of my curls. This was honestly the nicest and easily broken down tutorial that I've seen.
My mom just didn’t know. My twin and I were told until I was 16 or so that we had “thick”, “frizzy”, “coarse” hair. Low and behold we had been brushing out our curly hair 😮
I was 50ish when I learned I had curly hair. I had always blown my hair out into a bob or some other style & when I was tired of doing it, I cut it super short so I didn’t have to do it & just wanted to wash & go. I waited to schedule a haircut & as it was growing, I realized then that my hair was curly & so I’ve been embracing the curls since. 🙂
It's crazy how many of us go through this! I was in my 40's when I stopped straightening my hair. My mother always brushed my hair out and told me how difficult it was to "fix". I have beautiful curls that I embrace everyday. I'm so glad we're all getting to this spot in our lives where we see and embrace ourselves. Love your hair Elyse!!
Me too! I didn’t realize I had natural curly hair until I was in my early 30’s. I always relaxed it but wanted curly hair. I was so happy when I found it. I love my hair.
Saaame. My mom has very straight hair. She would just brush my hair, it would be huge and frizzy, and she would put that V05 hairdresser ointment on it. I’m 38, and have been doing the CGM for almost a year. I’m a 2C 3A.
Me at the beginning of this video: "Maybe I should do this."
Me at the middle of this video: "I don't have time to do this."
Me at the end of the video: "I'm worth taking time to do this." ♥
if u did, did it work??
❤
Same! 😂
I definitely agree with this line of thinking. Especially since I’ve had my daughter 5 months ago
How long did it take?
Your curls look stunning!! So happy you like wavetech wave foam too 😊
Checking online to see where to buy this
@@LisaAllenmakeupaddict You can have mine! 😄 The scent gives me migraines, and the Xmondo Wavetech line was very drying on my hair.
@@KayoEll if she passes I’d happily take it!😊
Xmondo
I enjoy what it does to my hair, but the smell is intense... I wish he'd make a scent free or low scent option.
This is the best curly hair tutorial I’ve watched. You condensed like 30 videos I’ve watched into a clear and concise video.
Thank you for talking about how “not taking up space” translates into downplaying our curls. That really hit home.
Yeah. This is my first full length video I've watched by Elise, but it's also the simplest, clearest explanation of the curly routine that I've seen. I think I might try it.
Thank you for sharing that vulnerable story. My own mom, trying her best, discouraged any attention to my appearance, she was vehemently anti-vanity, wanting my worth to come from my character. But as a result I didn't learn how to take care of my body or beautify it when I wanted to. I'm 33 with a 10th grade level of make-up, hair-care, and skin-care skills and it infantilizes me in the sight of others.
I've been trying to catch up, but it is HARD, and it takes time.
I'm currently pregnant with a little girl and I hope I can find the balance between letting my girl express her femininity, and not being obsessed with her image.
You may find a decade or so down the road that when you have a girl and you dont stay current on makeup trends, they come in mighty handy!😂 I stopped wearing makeup daily after my 2nd daughter bc I hated the impression that she thought wearing it was necessary, as she wanted to do just like Mum, so I just stopped wearing it. 5yrs and many compliments from my girls later, I'm now re-learning to do my eye makeup from my 15yr old. Her interest in it came from me initially and Man is she GOOD!😳😍🙌🏼💗 I still swear I'll Never get the winged eyeliner down, but she won't give up on me!😂❤🤙🏼 It'll all come full circle. Your perspective and awareness of your particular raising regarding self care will make for a well rounded young person in no time! Just don't be afraid to ask questions and Always 'patch' test new products as their label recommends for allergies and sensitivities 🤙🏼You'll do just fine!❤
I’m 45 and never learn to walk in high heeled shoes. I have no idea how to dress up. When I wore make up, I used my fingers. I washed my face with dove soap and still do. I feel completely inept and it hasn’t helped that in the last few years washing your face turned into a nine step process.
@@Dogbiteskill I'm a licensed esthetician. Don't get taken in with all that nonsense. Cleanser, toner, and moisturizer if you want. That's it. All that other stuff is extra and optional.
You don't have to spend a fortune on any of it. Check out The Ordinary; I've been blown away at the quality of their products, given the wildly affordable price point. If I was still actively working in the field, I'd ab-so-lutely have that in my treatment room.
Im sad your mom failed. Make up isn't self care, it's self voyeurism. Femininity is the act of being female. Not being pretty.
Our society is fucking hopeless and you are going to raise another woman who prises her appearance over anything.
If you'd ever like some advice, I'd be happy to offer it 😊 my Mom was sort of the opposite of yours when it came to appearance; your character matters the most but looking well-put-together can go a long way with first impressions. Combine that with my ADHD and cosmetic retail sales background, I have a wealth of knowledge that I'm eager to share but hardly have anyone to share it with. Mom of two boys 🥴
Same girly.. I am a South Indian curly haired girl and most of the girls my age are around 5 to 5'2 feet something tall but I am 5 foot 6 with long black curly hair and I am a curvy girl, many people mistake for being older and even my own family and mom say that I standout too much so they try to cover me up with extreme modest clothes and always ask me to speak and laugh in a "lady like " manner, to this day it hurts me ( I am senior in highschool) but now I am tryna stand up for me and luv myself.. glad to find someone relatable❤
This might sound strange to say (as a stranger on the internet), but you have only become more and more beautiful the longer I’ve known you. Thank you for letting yourself be known, Elyse. I can only speak for my own ’corner of the world’, but the world is a better place for having known you ❤
Yes 100%!
What’s even crazier is I’m a guy with very short hair and I sat and watched the whole darn video. I’m like whaaat? She always hits home with some kind of message or information that is easily applicable to my life at that time.
@@kingtut1987 YES!! I feel that somehow, Elyse is all of our inner child AND our inner parent simultaneously and effortlessly. She’s a national treasure, and must be protected at all costs 🥲
AGREED - a million times over.
Don't apologize for getting emotional. It's honest. And relatable. Thank you for your candor. You're a wonderful role model. I think a lot of young girls feel like they don't want to take up space and many of us grew up feeling like that. So take up as much space as you need Elyse Myers, you're forging a path for so many others to follow. 🥰
It also should have been processed by now. It is quite manipulative emotionally as she is an influencer.
@@aiai-j7iyeah no, influencers are people to and in no way is she manipulating anybody in any way other than her explaining her journey and the reason behind it.
Wow, wow, You are being so judgmental here. It can take decades of adulthood for many people to uncover and work through some things from their childhoods. She's supposed to be finished already at 30-something? s You can't know what someone's ife was like until you've walked in their shoes. l@@aiai-j7i
@@aiai-j7imanipulative? Oh, stop it. Imagine, a human being having real emotions. Craziness.
@@aiai-j7i”should have been processed by now”? Wtf does that even mean? Are adults not supposed to need therapy, to cry, or have emotions? Whoever made you believe that, I’m sorry. And you may need therapy yourself.
71 y/o and still trying to learn to “rock my curls”. Hate my curls one day, then love them the next. I love that you shared your feelings, and love your curls!
Same here. Was told to straighten my hair my entire life, but my curly mane suits my personality much better. Learning to embrace them!
totally agree, carolturner1976.....thank you elyse, for your instruction and candid curl talk
❤l love your curls.
I can't begin to tell you how unintentionally you are hitting the raw spots I have needed to allow myself to expose. I too was a bigger kid and when you said " I was really afraid to take up space" l felt that so deeply...even still... You are so impactful, and for that I am grateful ☺
This video is edited and produced SO WELL. I am shook. The text, images, wow. I don’t even have curly hair and I watched it all. Kudos.
Same!!
I agree.. this is the first time I've understood this method.
+++
Same
😂 same! I have straight hair ...but it's such a good video
My hair became straight when I was pregnant. I had 4 children and it got straighter with every pregnancy. I’m 72 now and it is very curly again. I really understand where you are coming from. Proud of you.
Thank you for your response! I’m glad to know we’re not alone! My hair turned curly when my hit puberty. Then, with my first pregnancy, it decreased a level. Fourteen years later I was pregnant for my second time. Again my curls decreased, but this time it was significantly. I just barely had some waves left. Then just about a year later I was pregnant with my third and final son. And I lost what little wave I had left! I was miserable with my hair because I didn’t know how to manage straight hair! I wore a lot of braids. My hair did increase its speed of growth! In two years it grew from shoulder length to just below my waist! That’s the longest it’s ever been! About six years ago I had a complete hysterectomy. Not long after, my hair started growing in with waves. So my conclusion is that it has to do with hormones! Anyone else have a related experience/opinion?
I also had mine get curly with puberty. Two of my sisters also. With my first my curls got much curlier and then with my second pregnancy a year later it got more straight. It felt like it went limp. Hormones have a huge role in curly hair. I think your health and nutrients do also.
I turned 30 and suddenly I had spiral curls. Will try because I’m interested to see what happens. You are lovely and the end was amazing. 14:49
I have curly hair, but it became so much thicker and way more curly with all 3 of my pregnancies. Now it's thin and brittle and not as curly. I hope it gets better as I get older.
Mine was the opposite!!! Stick straight until pregnancy! Now I have super thick, wavy and curly hair and I’m clueless about what to do with it
When you spoke of not being perceived and taking up space, I choked up. I have never been able to put into words how I have felt my whole life, but here we are. You are amazing. Im done making myself small.
Thank you this got me emotional too - after straightening my hair for about 16 years I am finally letting my natural curls do their thing so am in learning mode and the end of your video resonated with me lots. ❤
"I was afraid to take up space." That really hit me because even as an adult I tell myself "don't be a bother, don't be annoying." I think many of us feel your statement although in different ways. As someone with straight hair I always wished mine was curly! I had a friend when I was in Middle School who had hair with beautiful chunky curls and I was always so jealous!
Same here. I can relate to all of it apart from not having curly hair
“I was afraid to take up space.” Wow, I related to this! I wore my hair in a ponytail every single day, even in my own home, from the age of 11-18. I was terrified of people seeing my hair and commenting on it because I was so insecure. This was also the early/mid 2000s when pin straight hair was super trendy and I felt like a frizzy mess compared to all the other girls at my school. I’m 28 now and I love my hair more than ever! Thank you for this tutorial and the little therapy session at the end! 💕
Omg I could have written this comment. I wore my hair up for YEARS, I was so insecure of my hair!
Wow, I’m 28 too and for me it was a perfectly curated low “messy” bun. No one in my high school knew I had absolutely ringlets. I feared that frizz would make people think I was the opposite of put together
Oh man I completely relate to this. I’m very shy and I stuck out like a sore thumb in school so naturally I began to straighten my hair to blend in. It also didn’t help that I’m the only person in my family with curly hair!
I’ve gone through curly journeys a few times but I’m still struggling with fully accepting it. My roots are extremely curly so I hope to one day do a big chop and start fresh with my curls
I think so many women are ‘taught’ by society to be small. 😢
Wow, we have the exact same hair timeline. I'm 28 as well, and I wore a ponytail exclusively from 11 until college when I felt like I could wear my hair down because no one knew another version of me. It's so freeing now!
I have seen countless curly girl videos and have always left feeling completely overwhelmed and have yet to try to embrace my natural curls. Yours is the first video I’ve watched that makes the process not only make sense but feel approachable. For the first time since I was a teenager; you’ve made me decide to go for it and get my curls back. Thank you for taking the time to put this together. It was brilliantly done. ❤️❤️❤️
Check out Manes by Mell if you never have she is also excellent
Do it!! You can even switch back and forth between Curly Girl Method and conventional, just make sure to do a sulfate wash in between to remove silicones and other products. I learned the hard way that oily Curly Girl products and heat styling don't mix. My hair literally got cooked and horribly damaged and frizzy.
I was 27 years unhappy with my super frizzy hair and always asked for help at the different hairdressers throughout the years. I had no idea what to do and like a few weeks ago I started to learn through RUclips videos how to take proper care of my hair. This is by far the best explained video I could find!
Your hair is FABULOUS! I’m 67 and just now, for the first time,realized I have curly hair. I’ve struggled with “frizzy, puffy hair” my whole life. But, that’s because I didn’t realize it’s curly and needs special handling. Your tutorial is exceptional and I will use your techniques this week. Thank you!
How did it go???
@@sarahsavagebassett7134 I’m still learning! I’m going today to get a “curly cut”. I’m hoping this will help with my hair shape.
OMG! My curly cut experience was AMAZING! The stylist not only cut my hair, but spent 2 hours with me teaching me everything I needed to know to create gorgeous, soft curls. My curls are set free!
@@brendarothchild2104 im so happy for you!!
@@brendarothchild2104 this makes me so happy!!! 🎉❤
I grew up being taught to treat my hair as straight hair and that my curls were tangles that need a brush ripped through them. I destroyed my curl pattern because of this. You are the first person I’ve found with short and curly hair like mine to share their process. I’ve spent the past two years trying to get my natural curls back to being healthy and learn to love them again and this tutorial makes so much sense, so clear and such an easy process 😭 thank you so much
Same! I got in trouble growing up for my hair being frizzy or "messy" as they would put it, and would be told to comb my hair (which would only encourage more frizz)
Sameeee! So unfortunate! Big question, what do you do to retrain your curls? A lot of my hair fell out and changed after I had my baby. It's pretty much all grown back but I don't have the same curls as before and could use some tips!
Same because my mom had straight hair and did not know what to do with mine and of course she made me her Mini-Me it had to be cut and style the exact same as hers 80s bangs and side puffs and all
@@theendtimes1705 Me? I've tried honestly just about every method out there from the curly girl method to just experimenting with products. I spent a bit learning the difference between straight and curly hair care and tried out different brands of shampoo and conditioner. After my hair started to show its curls again from a little less then a year of proper washing and care not too much different then shown in the video, I started "training" them with foam curlers. Since my curl pattern was damaged my hair didn't curl in a uniformed way because it didn't remember how. I'd have patches of waves, patches of ringlets and patches of curls all at once. Foam curlers doent use heat or anything to make your hair curl they just hold the shape. So I'd plop my hair as in the video but then instead of blow drying it I would section it off after and pin it up in the curlers. I started out letting my hair dry in the curlers the first few times and then slowly lessened the time. I only wear the curlers for 15 or so minutes after a shower now just to give my damaged hair that little extra support. It's been two years now and my curls still arent perfect but they're holding up and forming on their own for the most part again. I'm planning to retire the curlers and move on to a diffuser once I am able to buy one. I may have made faster progress if I'd gone to a professional at any point but I've just done everything myself with what I could at home but I'm proud of the progress I've made
Sammmeeeeeee. I finally started to embrace my curls and went to Florida to visit my grandma. My hair had been on the natural journey for a few years at that time and the Florida humidity made my hair curl up BEAUTIFULLY. I was actually feeling pretty good about myself. And, before going out to eat (in public, obviously), my grandma said I looked like an “aging hippie” with my hair the way it was. It was almost as if she was embarrassed to be seen with me. Which is actually probably true bc that’s how she is as a person. Anyway, that cut deep bc hair, at that time, was one of the only physical characteristics I liked about myself.
My curls haven’t been the same since pregnancy. The curl training with the brush handle has been a game changer. Thank you for making this.
Thank you for the awesome tutorial and your vulnerability. I feel most of us curlies have hated our hair and then grown to accept and love it. It is a crown on our heads. You are beautiful and take all the space that you can!
As a fellow curly girl who was afraid to take up space I feel this! Now I rock giant curls and so does my daughter who got them from me :)
Same! My son has curly hair and everyone asks where he got it from. Now I show them it’s me!
“I was really afraid to take up space, in every way.” Oh man, that line alone brought me to tears. It felt so raw and true, and it really hit home for me. A lifetime of being told my wavy, frizzy hair was too big. That I was too thin, and then “nice and chubby” after having children. That I laughed too loud, and smiled too big. The list goes on, and it makes me sad to even read now! The “how dare you?” and “you’re a liar” are things I’ve thought countless times, but you always think you’re alone. So thank you for being so vulnerable 💕
PS. My hair became MUCH straighter during my pregnancies… plus I lost a TON post-partum. Now I find myself missing my “poofy” hair!
so much imposter syndrome ❤️ when will it go away and let us be????
I relate to this so much. Never wanted to take up space. Always wanting to make myself smaller.
Oh my gosh. Who knew that a curly hair tutorial would be one of the most heartfelt and deep videos you’ve posted?! Girl, you and your curls are so beautiful and you fill space in the best possible way. ❤❤❤ You are amazing, strong, beautiful, and the perfect version of you. Thank you for being vulnerable- and thanks so much for the curly girl tips!!
You are such a sweet soul! Your voice, is so soothing! Thanks for the tips! I'm 68 years old and I'm still trying to figure out the best routine for my curly hair...
I've bought many many products, but still haven't found the one that works best for my hair. That's why I watch so many curly hair videos! Thank you for taking the time putting yours online! I love your curls! Looking forward to your other videos!
I’ve never run across your content before, but I got emotional right along with you because your story is so similar to my own. It’s true what they say: “If you ask a curly girl about her hair, she’ll tell you about her life.” It is so true that the process of accepting and loving your curls can actually be a process of accepting and loving yourself. I enjoyed this video so much and your curls are gorgeous. You found a new subscriber in me 😊
I’m 58 years old and have had curly hair in my entire life and always struggled with it. Especially after college when I started working I was told by numerous people that my curly hair was unprofessional. For the last eight years I’ve been getting keratin treatments so it is straight but watching your video has me thinking of embracing my curls again. Thank you for this!
To anyone who tells you that ever again in life, respond with: "So is a bad attitude!" I can't believe the audacity of some people. Sorry that happened to you and you were pushed into altering a part of yourself, you did not necessarily want to alter. ❤🩹
Same. 58 and was told my hair was unprofessional when I first started working because it was long and very thick with a natural wave/curl pattern. It would take me over an hour every day to dry and straighten it and I started keeping it shorter as time went by. Then I found Brazilian keratin treatment which worked until my scalp rebelled. Now I just air dry and let it be most days. I heat style it on occasion. I’ve tried the curly hair method but it left my hair dry.
@@ralphandleosmom9075 then you might have been using the wrong products or combination of products - it's a whole science... I haven't really figured it out yet, but my hair is also just slightly wavy at most and hangs straight if I don't put an effort in...
Gosh, people are so ridiculous sometimes. How can anyone say that your natural hair is "unprofessional" ? Especially considering your hair was barely curly to begin with, which sounds alot like how my hair is. The so many different ways we use our unfounded and unwanted advice to put others down just astounds me. You should have told them that blonde hair or eyeglasses were unprofessional. Though I suppose that would just be sinking down to their level. Your curls are, I'm sure, gorgeous, and I really hope you can embrace them and not change yourself over anothers opinion. Your thoughts on your hair are the only ones thoughts that count. Good luck rocking those curls !!!
I am 26 and started getting keratin treatments a couple years ago for the fact that I thought it was unprofessional to have natural curls!!
This is not only the best hair tutorial I’ve ever seen but the best RUclips tutorial period. I don’t have curly hair but I do make instructional content for a living and this video is impeccable. Everything from the progress guide, to the why’s for each step, I’m truly inspired. Not only does Elyse seem like the kindest person but she’s amazing at what she does, I’m never not impressed.
Hey, I'm a chick in her 30s who has only JUST started to embrace her curls and try and do a more indepth routine for accentuating and loving my curls as they are. Like others I really appreciate the straightforwardness and detailed routine you've shared. Always something new to learn- thank you so much!
Not gonna lie, for me this was one of the best curly hair tutorials I’ve watched. You explained the reason for each step. Your entire life journey has been a blessing to watch ❤️
As a mama of a 7 year old daughter with your same hair type, it broke my heart to hear how you felt as a child. And reminded me of why I (with only 2a waves myself) immediately started reading and studying up on curls when she was turning 2, so I could help her love them always. I’m so glad you’re having this experience now. I’m crying right along with you. ❤
I would love to see a kid friendly version of this tutorial. Like, what is realistic for a young child to sit through for styling and manage? Should the products/ styling change with curly haired kids as they grow?
@@NightwingAquaman definitely my daughter’s routine is much more simple, and it always has been. You can find kids curly hair routines if you search! But at a certain point they can just use small amounts of regular adult products and have a simplified pared down routine. You definitely have to accept and embrace the frizz with kids, in my personal experience. But I don’t speak for any other textures of hair than mine and my daughter’s.
@@NightwingAquaman we only air dry, and my styling routine for her takes under a minute. I just get her to sit and read, or sit and play with some stationary thing for at least an hour to get a start on drying. Then after that, kids are going to be kids, and I don’t stress about the hair being perfect. Biggest styling ‘rule’ I had to teach her was to never touch her hair when it’s drying. So she just keeps her hands off, doesn’t put on hats etc when it’s wet.
*Raises hand* My hair went straight when I was pregnant. When I tell people that, they tell me I must have imagined it. Great video.
2 things probs happened -- the hormones can change the oils in your scalp, either make it more dry or more oily - which can make your hair lose body. Stress can do this as well, not just pregnancy :) it can take time to re-adjust, or it just needs a bit of love. OR you now have new hair! :D I know this because im from a half-black half-white family, and some of us kids had dead straight/wavy hair until puberty and then BAM! INSANE AFRO!! xD hormones can definitely play a part on your hair type and it can definitely change! :)
The same thing happened to my mom! She has a tiny bit of wave now but not the curl she used to have.
My mom’s hair went from bone straight to 2c when pregnant and it hasn’t changed back
My hair has more waves since having my second baby!
@@mackenzieking3289 please, what means 2c? Just curious.
I love curly hair and I’m curling in it all the time
I can’t say enough about how much I appreciate your genuineness, humanness (sp?), humility, humor, and generosity of spirit.
"Why not change something about myself so that I can be loved by others." That is so honest and real. Thank you for sharing this!
The struggles of what you went through as a kid both in struggling to accept and embrace your femininity as well as being afraid as a bigger person to take up more space, to draw attention to yourself and to stand out because of them I feel on a spiritual level with you and I am so happy to see you loving that part of yourself openly. Thank you for sharing this with us
I’m 41, grew up without a mom, just men. I feel seen and understood by your explanation of the fear of perception/taking up space. Got super emotional with you while watching. Thanks for helping me with the courage to try this out and accept my curls. ❤
11:42 great video! Great personal progress! Thanks for sharing both. You have a right to take up space! You have given a lot!
Dear Elyse,
You are an inspiration!! Truly. You have been such an inspiration to me. As a woman with ADHD. As a socially awkward person. As someone with anxiety. As a mom. As an indecisive person. As someone who struggles with insecurities. As someone who battles people pleasing. As someone who struggles with depression and has been suicidal. As someone who has fought her curly hair for over two decades. Thank you for sharing your experiences, opinions, and life with the world, as well as this tutorial!! I enjoy all your videos and podcast and love how sincere you are. Keep being your authentic self and don’t let anyone make you feel less than the exceptional person you are!! 💕
Wow, this is so powerful!
Thank you for sharing. I am so grateful for Elyse and her voice in this world - having the courage to be vulnerable and share challenges, struggles and victories. This video is about the hair but it’s also not about the hair it’s about - many things, including noticing ways we seek to please and might lose ourselves in the process, learning to listen to our own voice and growing the courage to be ourselves in a world that wants conformity. 💜
@@rachelforshee6014I can understand if this is your first and only video you’ve seen of Elyse, my comment may seem silly for this particular video. However, I’ve been following her content on Instagram, TikTok, and RUclips. What she shares is funny, honest, open, uplifting, embracing, and many things she said or gone through are things I’ve also experienced, yet felt so alone in those experiences. It’s very relieving to know there are others out there with similar experiences, most of which are rarely mentioned in our society.
I’ve lived in Alaska and Idaho. Im a few years older than Elyse and am very thankful for her content. ☺️
My hair turned curly at about 12-13. I'm 39 now and still struggling with how to manage it. Thank you for this video. It's so clear, concise, and easy to maintain. I'd love a video on non-wash day hair. That is the one I just cannot get a handle on. ❤️
I realized my hair stupid frizzy hair was actually just curly when I was 14. I saw a commercial for frizz-ease. My mother couldn’t be bothered so I convinced my dad to buy it for me. He was great. He bought me the entire line. It only took a few days for my curls to show up.
Mine did that too before the age of about 11 or 12 I had straight "Marcia Brady" hair and then it turned curly and it was horrible because no one knew what to do with it and it was frizzy nightmare.
For 2nd and third day hair just mist your hair with a mister like she shows in the video! It reactivates the product and the curls and helps tone down any frizz that shows up over night. Then you can scrunch in more product and re-diffuse/air dry.
At 57 I started letting my hair curl in 2020, of course when no one was around. My hair is long and curly and now I am considering letting my grey come through. I am glad you learned to love your hair at a younger age. I think my inhibition began in high school when all of my sisters had extreme straight hair and called my curls messy if not combed out. Funny they all got perms for decades. Love your content!.
I embraced my grey during covid and I love it! I do have a long mohawk with pink tips,but I'm so glad I embraced my silver side
I’m 41 and doing the long hair. The grays are coming through and I’m loving it!
I'm 38 & let my Gray grow out bc it's expensive to get hair colored. I have wavy hair but am trying to train the waves bc some are really curly. I get compliments from older women that still color their hair. They all say they wish their Gray would look good "like mine" but I think we all have such beautiful patterns, if we let it grow out. My Gray now looks like balayage to me & I don't mind it at all. I trip out that the Gray stands grow long now bc I used to have so much breakage. I actually like seeing a full length Gray strand. It makes me smile. I feel like it's my Glitter & that makes me happy. 😊
i finished doing this and….my 3b curls are back…my curls are back….THANK YOU so so much for this tutorial it’ll now be my go to wash day routine from now on. thank you so much elyse. youve practically helped me save and replenish my hair
you’re glowing elyse. you’re not only allowed, but encouraged to take up space. thank you from the bottom of my heart for posting this, im grateful for your story and tutorial in every way. this was such a helpful and amazing video. i can speak for all of us when i say that you’re so beautiful and worthy to feel that within your curls.
I swear to god if i ever got a chance to meet her and like I was at some table with a handicapped spot (I’m in a wheelchair) I would offer to make room for her to sit because I would just love to talk to her.
This is the first time I actually understood a video explaining what to do with curls. I have been trying for years to love my natural hair but I had no one in my life to help me find a place to start! 😭
Thank you!
I have very straight hair, but I decided to watch this anyway to see what you have learned. I am so glad I did! What an amazing journey you have been on! Congratulations on finding that love for who you are.
I just had the same experience. It's so lovely to see some one grow and really come to love themselves. Elyse is the best!
Same here, as well. 🤍
SAMEEEEEE!!! Had to come watch the evolution & self acceptance. Just lovely.
This is huge for me!!!! I am 65 years old and just started to embrace my curly hair. I grew up thinking it was the worst part of me! Can’t wait to try it out. THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!! Love you❤
I’m also 65 and was the only person in my family with curls. I grew up with my mom calling it frizz though. I was taught to brush it and try to make it straight. I was born in Seattle and grew up not for from the Olympic Rain forest. Frizz, frizz, & more frizz. So anyway I grew up thinking that I only had curl in the very back of my head at the nape of my neck. I straight ironed and even ironed my hair on the ironing board with an iron.
Not once has a hairdresser ever mentioned me giving into the curl. I never knew my whole head had curl. My hair now is naturally salt and light pepper. It’s very long with long layers. I’m still learning products but it has quite a bit of wave and curl to it.
I’m going to cut it this weekend and for the first time grow curly hair. I hope anyway.
I've had curly hair my entire 37 year life and have NEVER seen a better, simpler, more helpful tutorial. I’ve been straightening for the last couple years and I’m inspired to embrace my authentic curls!! ❤️❤️❤️
You are not only worthy of taking up space, you enhance the space and those around you! Your honesty is refreshing and you not only taught me things about taking care of my hair, you touched my heart in so many ways. Keep on learning how to love yourself - you are wonderful! 🥰❤
You are the sweetest, curls n all! Please take up space, you fill it with joy.
Hugs from Denmark.
"I am allowed to take up space" 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 so much power in this! Thank you for your honesty and vulnerability, Elyse! Your insight helps me learn to love myself too
SAME! 💓
I’m a mom of a 14 year old girl who struggles with her curls. I loooove her curls and I so want her to feel happy and proud of her own natural self. I’m excited to share this with her. Thank you!
As a natural hair girl its somewhat comforting to know everyone cries over their curls. I love seeing people rediscover their hair and learning to be comfortable in their own skin 💕
I am so incredibly glad I stumbled on your video... I'm 42 and I'm only about a month into this journey... I either straightened or just put it up and back.... I have always fought and hated my hair... And now I have a daughter. And I saw her hating her hair, and it crushed me.... Because she is soooo beautiful with her curls. I want to teach her to love them. So I knew I had to learn on myself so I could help her.... It's been life changing - and it feels like an insignificant thing to be so incredibly self conscious about .. just going through a day with the hair I've always hid. I don't recognize the face in the mirror. I still feel like I'm taking up way too much space. But knowing I'm not the only one to feel so MUCH about hair .. it made me feel vain - but you validated my feelings, and your vulnerability is endearing. Thank you for the tutorial. I'll follow you. But thanks for your honesty. Thank you so much for putting yourself out there. You're beautiful! And... As a self proclaimed Tom boy - you're really beautiful, and far more feminine than you realize. There is an inmate softness to you that is very sensitive and compassionate. That to me is feminity. I'd love to feel sexy in a dress, I just feel like a giant clown - so .. I'm the chick that likes pants and conservative tops, where I feel safe... At least now I can have fun with my hair. Step one, right?! Always be a work in progress... This section... The hair. Lol... Thanks again.
Came here to understand my natural hair again...over 40. And just wow. Thank you for the super detailed how to, but more importantly...bless you, woman. The vulnerability you showed in mentally dealing with the hurdle of learning to love yourself as you are was just what I needed to hear! Loved this so much! ❤❤❤
Elyse as someone who grew up with big frizzy curly hair I identify with all of what you said and actually cried when the Disney movie Brave came out because I finally saw a Disney princess with hair like mine. I just love you for sharing this with us so vulnerably. I just used your method and my hair looks great!❤
Thank you for discussing this. As a teen in the early 2000s who was also an emo kid, straight hair was it. I HATED my hair. I hated that it felt like EVERYONE had an opinion on it too. I was never taught how to take care of my hair. It always looked like a frizzy mess until I got a hair straightener at 14 and fried it every day. Now I’m in my 30s trying to figure it out and frustrated for the little girl in me who deserved better.
I relate so much. I was always told that it was my fault for not caring for my hair, but... I tried. The actually problem was that I was only ever told how to care for thin, straight hair. Even getting haircuts, I'd get yelled at when my hair wasn't even (cut wet) afterwards. My family members would get irritated by frizz or dryness (where I couldn't even see) and insist I brush it. I now realize that's why it got worse, not me. I've been leaning into my hair, and it's so much better. It's still a struggle and a process to accept it (especially with certain family still commenting their ignorance).
Literally exact same boat. You got this! ☺️
it can be so healing to your inner child to embrace and master the thing that caused you hurt and feel beautiful in the process
I understand what you are saying. I have always felt like a freak with my curly hair. Thank you for sharing. You look beautiful!
I so admire how honest and authentic and vulnerable but most importantly forward moving you are. You reflect, emote and then keep going with newfound wisdom. I’m easily 10 years older and definitely envy your inner and outer beauty because it seems so genuine.
The emotional toll of being a bigger girl with curly hair is so hard to recognize! Then when I finally started to accept and heal my body image, I got pregnant and lost my curls too! My first pregnancy is what inspired me to look into CGM and now that I’m pregnant again I miss my curls so much! I have to keep reminding myself they’ll come back.
When I watch youTube I heard some else comment about "losing" their natural curls while pregnant. I was shocked !! I don't have children but (until the person on the video made that comment) I had never heard of such a thing. Is it related to the huge shift in certain hormones ?? Why does this happen to some woman ♀️ and not others? That is very interesting to me. When your curls finally come back are they the same size and pattern ?
I hope yours will do what mine did...fall out (well, I don't wish you the falling out part!) after each pregnancy and then regrow curlier with a vengeance. I even lost hair after surgeries with general anesthesia and had the regrow be curlier. Wishing you the best luck!
I completely understand this. I was just feeling comfortable wearing (and feeling cute in) crop tops and "tighter-ish" clothes while also healing my curls...then I got pregnant and everything just went away. But I can't wait to meet my little boy and get back to where I was and this video will definitely help me out with the hair portion
Did they come back after the first pregnancy and how long did that take? I miss mine too.. :/
@@jeaninecousin8916, but hormones for sure! And post-partum hair loss got weird too!
I don’t even have curly hair, but I couldn’t stop listening. Your story, your journey, is so beautiful Elyse.
Just starting out my curly hair journey. I'm 36 and have been fighting my curls all my life too. I've recently realised I need to embrace my curls, embrace me.
Been binge watching curly hair videos to learn how to look after my curls and your video is by far the most informative, easy to follow and relatable. Thank you so much.
I am 32 years old and have spent my entire life wishing my hair smaller. I accepted it was naturally frizzy and awful and embarrassing until a stylist recently told me it was actually extremely curly. I haven’t gotten to the place where I can rock my curls - don’t totally know how to do it on my own and I’m still battling my feelings about how it looks- but I am motivated to try after your tutorial and your super honest words at the end. Thank you very very much. ❤
I hope you come to a place where you're able to love your hair. ❤️ I started my natural hair journey one year ago. It's really hard at first! I was so self conscious. The curly tutorials and curly influencer videos were also really intimidating at first. I wish I would have seen a video like this when I started my journey. If you decide to go natural just stick with it! It's going to be hard at first, but you will eventually start feeling more confident. I'm finally able to love my hair as it is! It's a good feeling.
I totally understand where you are coming from. My life is very similar!!! I am now 65 and love my curls to distraction 😊. You go girl!!!
curls are awesome and know that you'll turn heads because people are jealous of your awesome locks!
@@indiecowan33 I agree! I have straight hair, but I would love to have naturally curly hair. The grass is always greener as they say lol! Whenever I see someone with beautiful curly hair, I always try to complement them on their curls because I've seen how much work goes into maintaining them.
Rebecca, you’re gonna look great ❤ try it out here and there and then gradually get into it (that’s what I did) I haven’t had straight hair in years now and feel like I would look so weird lol
Your emotions around your curly hair & around taking up space resonate with me on an incredibly deep level. My mom had pin-straight dark hair. She and my sister both got perms at times to make their hair curly (I’m an 80’s/90’s kid). I had this thick frizzy red mop of hair that no one seemed to know what to do with except constantly try brush out and de-tangle. When I was just out of college, I got a professional haircut & let my hair dry without messing with it & it curled! It still didn’t saw on my that I actually had naturally curly hair, though, and I just thought it was some kind of years-long fluke. I got my hair permed straight at one point because I didn’t know what to do with it & whenever I tried brushing it out, it just poufed up into a frizzball. When COVID hit, I randomly didn’t try to “fix” my hair & it dried curly. After nearly two years, it finally dawned on me that I have curly hair & I started this journey of embracing my natural curls. It’s been emotional, healing, and empowering, to say the least! Sending you so much love and light as you continue you’re journey as well! 💖✨
It's amazing how much something as "silly" as hair can impact our whole life. It's not just about vanity, it's self acceptance, and realizing that we've been fighting against something that's a natural part of us, and how that connects to so many other parts of our lives. It's also funny/heartbreaking that others try so hard to have attributes that come naturally to us, yet we're trying to get what others have too! Sucks that it takes us til our 30s/40s to realize this stuff! 😢😅
Elyse, you are such a light in this dark world. Please, if you have the time, make a video on how you style your hair on a non-wash day! Those are the most tricky for me and my curls. I’ve been on a similar journey for the past 6 months and this really hit me in the feels ❤
I second this request. I’m still learning about my curly hair - always thought it was just ‘frizzy’ and messy and was trying to make it straight and smooth most of my life. But now the off-days are hardest for me as well. Although I am still finding the right products. I really LOVE my Beekman 1802 shampoo & conditioner, but as far as styling products I’m still open to trying new things, although the Unite Boing gel is okay.
And yes…as a person who doesn’t take up a small amount of space physically, embracing my curls has been a challenge emotionally, but definitely part of my healing journey. Thank you so much, Elyse - seeing you and your kindness always makes the world feel like a better place to be alive in🫶🏽🥰
There is a warmth about you that is so wonderful.
Woa, your sincerity & vulnerability are incredible. This goes beyond a comprehensive how-to video and hits on something deeper and more introspective. As someone who has curly hair and is just now (30’s) truly understanding how to care and style and embrace my hair I’m feeling inspired and seen. Thank you truly 💜
Me, a person with stick straight hair that won't even hold an artificial curl, here watching a curly hair tutorial and loving it because Elyse 🤷♀️
You're great, lady! And curls look awesome
I started my journey of embracing my curls about 5 years ago. I have watched HUNDREDS of videos, and this is by far the most helpful. Thank you!! ETA: just finished your video, you are so real and raw and a JOY. Thank you for taking up space. Thank you for being here and sharing yourself.
eta?
Thank you for taking up space is well said!
@@MegaMinecraftluver "edited to add"
TOTALLY agree 💯👍
Holy smokes girl I wasn’t expecting you to share exactly what I struggled with in my life. Being afraid to take up space. Literally and metaphorically. And when you said why would I take the time to love something about myself that no one else likes rather than just change it to what everybody else wants and be loved by everyone else. Daggers. You are a beautiful person and I’m so happy you have found your voice 🩷🩷🩷🩷
Elyse Myers is saving lives. The end of this video is a treasure.
I've been in and out of the curly girl stuff for forever. 10 years now. I could never find out how to make my 2c 3a curls work. And as I'm on a self love journey, I'm committed to trying this routine for myself! You have the curls I always dreamed of, but no one seemed to have a solid routine that would work for me. The too soft=more product tip is fugggin goolllddd!!!
I don’t even have curl hair and I watched EVERY SECOND of this video. Elyse - you are awesome. Thank you for sharing your journey and your heart ❤️
Thank you for this in-depth tutorial and for your on-screen vulnerability!!! It’s so lovely and powerful to hear your healing journey. I hope you’re proud of yourself!! AFAB people and women deserve to take up space 💖💖💖
I’m in my mid 40’s. My 17 y/o daughter introduced me to one of your shorts. I just want you to know that even in this stage of my life, I can relate so much to your experiences. You express many of the same thoughts I find myself having. I’m really enjoying your content! As a mom
of a teenage girl, I approve! You are a gem! Keep sharing and creating, Dear!
They know so much more than what we knew at their age,,,I love to learn little things from the young ones
9:18 awe! My nana used to say “Girls are prettiest when they love themselves” You looked so pleased with yourself which was so sweet! It’s normal to get emotional..
I’m just coming across this video and teared up when you talked about not wanting to take up space with your body, hair, or voice. as someone who has always been in a plus size body my entire life who also has curly hair, that really hit home for me. so proud of how far you’ve come and love that you’re embracing your curls! ❤
Thank you so much ♥ I always appreciate your raw vulnerability and humorous anecdotes on life. It helps us all feel a little safer to be ourselves too and realize how much we can all grow as humans.
Do I have curly hair? No. Did I watch this whole video? Yes absolutely I did! Love you Elyse! ♥️
I am biracial and have SUCH a similar story of taking YEARS to love and understand my curls with a super white single mom who had no idea what to do with my massive hair. It’s really hard for me to put into words how beautiful and relatable your story and this video is. I also have had 3 babies now and EVERY time loose my curls. I actually just had my third baby just two years after my second 😅 so my hair had just grown back and I had cut off the old hair when I surprisingly found out I was pregnant again. It actually made me super sad to go thru this hair journey all over again because it is really a challenge to figure out what to do with hair curly and straight hair and then go thru it again with straight and curly hair growing back in. Definitely effects my confidence. Well, sorry for the super long comment. I just really loved this and connected so much. Wish I could hug you because I don’t have many friends that have gone thru such similar stuff like me. Cheers 😊
My mom cut her hair when my brother and I were born. It was easier for her. We have curly hair but were never taught how to care for it. Now I struggle with mine and my kiddos but learning.
I spent so much of my childhood exactly where you were for exactly those reasons . You didn't expect to get emotional explaining your routine, I certainly didn't expect to get emotional watching it. I don't have the word to express how not alone you made me feel. You rock! Hugs to you!!❤
Same here....❤
I wanted to say the same thing! Same history, same feelings. So glad we are not alone in this.
I recently started my journey bringing back my curls and your video is so well made and put together! Thank you!
I had straight hair as a child, curly hair when I hit puberty, straight again through my pregnancies, and now as a 30 year old, it is wavy. Hormones can change your hair for sure!! I miss the curls I had in high school. You are a gem of a person.
I’ve spent most of my life struggling with frizzy hair, I have like a mix of 2C 3A and my hair only looks good one day, and it’s after I wash it, so I’m really glad to finally be learning better techniques to be happier with it
I hated my hair until I was 27. I didn’t understand my curly hair and just threw it in a ponytail all the time. Learning to love and care for your hair really is life changing 💕
I watched this a year ago, thought to myself, one day I will do a curly hair routine - no more frizzy brushed out, no routine hair.
I just ordered some product (I’ve really only used shampoo and conditioner, just bare minimum stuff)!
I forgot about you bring me to tears in that end talk, it resonates so deeply
I have followed your journey through the years, and I’m 100% sure that when I grow up I want to be like you (doesn’t matter that I’m 45); you are an inspiration to those of us who can greatly relate to you. Thank you for being transparent and courageous. You are beautiful! 🥰
I'm 43, and same! 😅
I can’t tell you how many “curly girl” routines I’ve watched and felt so overwhelmed and like I’d never be able to do it. Also.. the overstimulation with products, I’ve never heard someone else feel that way. I so feel like I’m suffocating and instantly regret doing my hair. I’m hopeful to try these products or to find some that don’t make me feel that way! Thanks for taking up space to teach and share your voice. ❤❤❤
Love it so much!! ❤❤❤ Your hair is looking so stunning!
Your curls are beautiful and so are you, inside and out. ❤
I actually don’t have curly hair, but my sister does. And I KNOW she has had the same feelings about her hair being the only one in the family with curly hair.
Thank you so much Elyse for providing this video so I can send it to my sister. I’ve never known how to help her or encourage her with her hair because I legitimately don’t understand.
I’m so excited. She’s gonna LOVE it
❤