1:04 Fam this point makes no sense. Women want whomever they're compatible with. Just like all men do. Just kidding everyone is different. Some people don't even want compatibility, they wanna hook up or this or that. People are complicated. What even is a masculine man. And you're saying "too non threatening" this is the shallow advice. Reminds me of TrippAdvice.
I really don’t care if women want someone who’s bad. I want a woman who wants someone who treats her nice. If he’s not out there, fine by me. I can still be myself. Be nice to people. I just hate unnecessary tension and negative energy. Women may make up the rules for relationships. But I make up the rules of my life. A woman is just a nice addition. Nothing more
Good philosophy. I don't have the impression you're too nice. You're more of a kind type of man. Find a woman who's also kind , and you'll probably be ok. I think.
Why attract a woman for whom you must always wear a mask and be a person who you are not? That sounds like literal hell. And it is what is being missed by a lot of the manosphere advice. Also: never take dating advice from women, or rely on what women say they want. Read "No More Mr. Nice Guy". Be masculine and not too nice, not too willing to please. You are doing that for YOU. Not to please a woman who can only get wet if you give her a knuckle sandwich.
I'm pretty much like you, fundamentally, so I can relate. However, I think you might benefit (as I have) from something I read once in someone's biography (sort of). *He had just had yet another stand-off at work about something, and it resulted in a bit of a scene. A while later, his good friend explained to him why such things kept happening to him:* "Do you know why you're always getting into these hassles? When you first meet people, you come on like Mr. Nice Guy, so they try to take advantage of you. But you're NOT Mr. Nice Guy, you're hard as nails - let them know that FROM THE BEGINNING." I am not exaggerating when I say this is some of the best advice I have ever gotten. It felt like his friend was speaking directly to me. Men are civil when dealing with one another because we KNOW that violence (or at least a "less pleasant approach") is pretty much always on offer. We're not civil because we're saints, we're civil because we know the alternative. To encourage a woman's sexual attraction (and even positive behavior), she needs to KNOW that you are not someone to be trifled with; that you are potentially dangerous; that you are MASCULINE. If she doesn't, she'll naturally cast you aside or start "misbehaving" She likely won't even be self-aware of what's driving her, but it drives her all the same. Unless your masculine frame/strength/competence is presented FIRST, your kindness will be interpreted as weakness.
I am 70 now and still remember when after ten years of marriage my first wife divorced me my mother told me my problem was that I treated my women to well. R.I.P. mom.
If you give them everything they want you will lose them. My wife of 25 years admits that. Women seem to need to feel like they never quite have you 100% locked down. As soon as they do they don’t want you anymore.
With my longterm partner, she knows that I’m capable of getting other women. She knows I’m choosing to give her my attention, and she knows what to do to keep my interest and what’s important to me. I do immensely enjoy making her happy, but the secret sauce to me has been that I’ve learned more and more what makes _me_ happy, and I’ve invited her into that space and made it very clear what makes me happy and what doesn’t. I’ve made it easier for her to please me, and because she admires me, she’s very happy making me happy. This is as it should be.
@@robhulsonexactly. At one low point in our marriage, my wife brought up her ability to go out and find a new man. I told her to go for it. I challenged her to find a man who was willing to do the same things I did with the same intense dedication. Then, I asked her if she honestly thought I could not find a younger, hotter woman to fill her shoes. It felt awful to go there, but the point hit home and ended any future such talks. We are nearing our 19th anniversary now, and happier than ever. Long story short, women only want a man that other women want
@@stevescuba1978 that’s awesome, Steve. There does come a time in a longterm relationship where her hypergamy is going to kick in and seek to make sure that she is still with a good man. You handled it with grace and excellence. The problem for many men in LTRs is that they stop gaming their woman, and because their hierarchy of needs is mostly met, they slack off and stop caring about becoming better, more useful, more meaningful. They stop working on their body because they forget that a day might come where the strength of men is needed again. They’re consumer couch potatoes. And yes, a woman is going to test this and make sure she’s doing her part to ensure she’s with a quality man.
Its that inherant drive within them to create chaos within the family, and procreate more greed into the world. This is why women really shouldn't have dating rights
If someone wants to be with someone that treats them badly, they're basically saying, that they don't respect themselves and that's probably not the kind of person you want to be with
Its not about treating them bad, its simply about not treating them too good. Your girl will constantly sh!t test you with little things throughout a relationship and its simply your job to remain stoic and not care if she leaves, when you're actually ok with it if she leaves this will all just be natural and you'll act right and keep her attraction, its really not complicated
Just don’t treat her any better than she treats you. You know, like normal. Stop with the covert contracts. Inform her of your expectations, invite her to follow your lead. She can then choose to follow or you just move on. No big deal.
Perfect comment. Pay attention to the energy give off and respond likewise. Chasing doesn't mean she's so special. Chasing means that you think you are in lack. And no one is ever in lack. It's a false idea stemming from fear, which is also an illusion.
The unbelievable amount of effort needed for this seems so unnatural. The only justifiable reason to go through all of this is to find an appropriate mate to have children with.
Men have been through much worse for even little reward. I dunno man, maybe you're low test. Either way, there's less competition for me, so you can quit if you want 🤷♂
It is unnatural because even if you win, you're not get what you need as a man. Going through the effort for ran through women: they're 99% useless as a woman to you as a man because they haven't ever considered they'd need to contribute anything for the biological goal which is creating new life.
I believe personal growth/development is actually the main reason, we could say spiritual growth as well. We mature through suffering, it's complicated but that's what I think currently. Men and women have become the challenge since we made life so easy with all comfort we have at our disposal.
You see, you must read your woman's mind, and act masculine when she wants, and be tender when she wants. Your needs and feelings do not matter. And, don't be boring either, so sometimes be masculine when she wants tender. Lol.
This sort of crap is why I (and many other men) have so little respect for females in general. Just imagine if the roles were reversed: imagine if a man wanted to be treated well by a woman, but not too well, or he would lose all respect and sexual attraction for her; everyone would call such a man a demented lunatic, and rightly so! And imagine that a woman was expected to constantly walk on eggshells around her man, trying to guess whether or not to treat him well in this or that moment, in this or that situation, fearing that if she guesses wrongly and treats him too well, he may lose all respect and desire for her; everyone would be calling that an abusive relationship! The bottom line is that women are far more trouble than they are worth; I have learned to keep them at arm's length. If men are "emotionally distant", this is why: women have made us this way.
@davidgleba You win the comment section, the absolute truth. I wonder how our ancestors managed to navigate their way through all this bs? , oh! that's right they didn't have to because women then made no such high demands im sure.
At the beginning of a relationship she wants this, and she wants this, and she wants this, and she wants this, and there is this requirement, and there is this requirement, and you have to make sure she feels this emotion, and this emotion, and this emotion ... Whatever happened to, I'm a Man, you're a Woman, let's just get to know each other and enjoy each others company and see if we are compatible and things work out.
Same old cack. These women are not looking for men they respect or to look up to. They want Chad but her version of him. Basically, it’s always asking men to be who they are not to get a woman. The whole relationship, whether short or long, is just the man acting. Once the act stops or she gets comfortable, she will move on. The data supports that women nowadays move on because of their many options. Men are being asked to continually jump through hoops and bend over backwards all for her ‘happiness’ and women are never happy for long.
They want Chad to be Prince Charming and nice guys to become douches, and of course they fail in both endeavours. They always end up leaving the guys, of course the alphas don't mind, since they have a bunch of options, it's the Betas that wind up alone
Yeah that way you also keep your genes to your self and your geneological tree dies with you. Or you spread your genes while being single, which is more likely to result in kids that couldnt reach their max potential because of the father not beeing there for egotistical reasons. That is sanity
@@kingkruzifix1546 Why does it matter what happens with some bits of information implanted inside me? It matters much more what happens with more important information I have, like thoughts.
For all of that, I expect my girl to be at least an 8 or a 9, but the majority of women aren't and so they'll live lonely lives unable to compete for the men who are willing to put in that much effort just to have a "good" relationship.
@@MeidoInHebun The majority of men are also 5 or 6 even less that's why it will never change and that's why i believe those "Self improvement" classes are enormous waste of time and money. On the other hand i do believe in being a n absolute beast of a man that's what you should thrive for be your best self, and by the time you'll get there your chances of mating Will be much higher. But don't let that be your goal cause then you will not be attractive.
@@Velsbasketcase Do you really think the saying is unique to au/nz? Throughout all of human history, it's some wiseass au/nz guy who invented that? I highly doubt it.
This is actually great. Treating my gfs badly is my specialty. I got cheated on once at 16 and I became a monster. And ignoring/being quiet mean to them got me more results. My favorite words. I'm leaving
Maybe you are what low value women need. I hope you stay away from high value women as paying it forward like this only messes up someone good, like you used to be.
You understand its because they themselves feel worthless so they seek to be treated as such. If you treat someone well that feels worthless, to them you are now less then worthless. If anyone cant understand " hey I like you so I do nice things for you sometimes. " just move on from them,they're broken.
@@spartanghost9713 The fact that we all have very similar experiences makes it obvious that many women are broken and are unable to do any self-reflection to overcome their trauma. It's extremely sad.
The world needs to get back to the understanding that has been known for centuries, that woman are basically unstable and require such complicated management. The downfall of modern relationships is the idea we need to treat woman equally when the reality is woman need to be managed like emotional children.
They ARE tyrants while being victims, so strong in their womanhood as long as she has her lying support-group of false female friends, with each woman as a pathetic parody of what no man wants. They are detached from what men want, that feminine life companion worthy of your sacrifices, of giving the sweat & the strain of aching muscles and/or mind . . . they recite the mantra, over & over, "I want ...", "I want ..." Paradox rises from the deeps because IF/WHEN they get, they cast aside as trash in time, living Asian legend made real of the "Hungry Ghost".
There also may be a psychological phenomenon going on. I noticed with one gf that whenever I did something truly kind- a big romantic gesture or a special dinner- she'd immediately (on that very date) begin treating me like trash. I've done a lot of personal psych work and have little baggage left I'd estimate. But, recently when my current gf truly stepped up and began going hard to be a better gf to me I began to feel "off." What was off? I was being treated with true respect and dedication, something I'd never experienced (and I mean never). So, the remnants of hurt, loneliness, frustration from my mom, past relationships etc began to bubble up. I didn't treat her poorly, but I felt the urge to. I took a drive and realized what was happening. I was honest with myself. Sometimes when a person gets love they aren't used to it makes them uncomfortable in this way. Real dedication is healing. Healing, by its very nature brings the hurt up by contrast in experiences. And, those who have not done their family of origin work will have a LOT of nasty feelings surface. Many live a life of active avoidance- so they associate You with that hurt instead of knowing it comes from their past. They aren't rejecting you, they are disowning the better part of themselves because they are unwilling to suffer.
All of our lives are psychological phenomenon. People are extremely blind to their actions, motives, etc. If you aren't actively self-reflecting you are reacting to the world around you and inside you.
Guys way overcomplicate how to act so they end up worrying about that stuff. They miss really the only 4 important things for a woman to become and remain attracted: 1 - High self-esteem and boundaries 2 - Pursuit of excellence in life ie purpose 3 - Be amazing in bed 4 - Put her 2nd behind your purpose You can be as sweet and nice to her as you want as long as she knows she is NOT the most important thing in your life - your purpose is - whatever you’re building (kids count as purpose) Most men lack at least 1 if not all 4 of the above so they end up worrying about crap like “am I too sweet?” PS. If you really think about the 4 above, you will understand why women love a$$holes. But you don’t have to be one.
This has been my experience. Your comment deserves more attention, especially because it explains why women will settle for assholes. At least the asshole knows what he wants and can make that the thing _she_ can aim at. When I was married, my wife was my purpose. She felt it and lost attraction to me. My longterm partner now, she knows I have several important purposes outside her. She knows I’m aware of what makes me happy, and what I want a woman to do in my life to make me happy. And yes, I am very sweet to her but without losing my balls nor my spine. In fact, the counterintuitive thing I learned is that because I’m an admirable man she looks up to, _she_ is trying hard to please _me._ So yes, I do enjoy making her happy, but she seems happiest when she knows she’s making me _deeply_ happy, and frankly it’s because I tell her exactly what I want in a way she can learn how to consistently provide me. The asshole puts her in this position, too, and her drive is so strong that if she doesn’t have the attention and discipline of a good man, she’ll readily choose the Bad Boy who knows what he wants her to do for him over the Nice Guy who is desperately trying to please her. Shakespeare’s _As You Like It_ put it really well. A beautiful woman named Phoebe has only known the type of attention a Nice Guy has given her, and she’s bored to tears with him. There appears a character (a woman disguised as a man) who is not afraid to tell her how badly she’s behaving. Phoebe’s whole being falls in love with this persona, and she says: “Sweet youth, I pray you chide a year together. I had rather hear you chide than this man woo.” In other words, she comes alive when a man disciplines her and shows her the right way to behave and treat _him_ and is dry as the Sahara to the man who is only focused on how to please _her_.
@@1Mutton1 she won’t sleep with you if she isn’t attracted to you. So, once it on, it’s on. It’s up to you from there and #3 is essential for getting a woman hooked on you. And great s3x will for sure change the way she feels about you, not the other way around.
If you are genuinely a nice guy why pretend to be a prick? Let the drama queens go off and get their chaos from another man. I agree. Peace to you brother.
Selfish, Asshole, dick, Emotionless… I have been called this my whole life by women and some how I always attracted more women into my life, I am married now and still hear this. I always wondered if I am such an asshole why do these women still coming back. I guess this video clarifies it. It came naturally to me though. I think it all came from my watching my dad. I dont think my dad was a good role model of masculinity but he definitely was unapologetic af.
do you treat your wife like an asshole and everything else you said? is that what's she wants or needs? would she leave you if all the sudden you became a nice? I need to no
@@slayer7682 I am definitely a lot nicer to my wife compared to other women I have been with. She knew how I was and still agreed to marry me ( I am also grateful to have met someone who lets me be masculine). In fact she used to say “I dont think I could have married someone soft” or “someone who did not challenge me” … her words. 80% of the time I am nice to my wife, but when she is being unreasonable thats probably when I put my foot down and become very uncompromising. And one day she is going to be the mother of my children so yah I am mostly nice.
No one can take that from you, nor should be jealous it's pointless some guys are just more attractive it's genetic. You cannot change your attractiveness that's why i don't believe any of these guides or workshops, Its like "Make up for guys" it's an industry made to make money out of unattractive men that will always be unattractive and undesirable. Period!
I used to flounder w women cuz i thought they would want to be treated w respect and kindness. When i discovered what they actually respond to, i wanted nothing to do w them.
Changing core aspects of yourself to acquire fleeting validation form others is placing others on a pedestal. Live in the truth and be yourself. No one can give nor take away your value as human being.
I don’t agree that men are nice because they’re thirsty or afraid to state their intentions…most men are just genuinely nice and learned that being nice shows how much they care.
Men are nice because their single mothers told them that women just want a nice guy that why so many men think they're entitled to women because they were nice it crazy how women hate nice guys but they will tell their sons to be that guy
@@GoatHolyfield I won’t say entitled, I feel that word is overused. I agree with everything else but I think most men are genuinely taught to be nice to women they like,
I don't want to treat anyone nasty. I know I can damage others physically and emotionally, so that doesn't interest me. I do me, whether people like me or not is their own choice. I choose to like those that want to get along with me, man or woman. If a woman wants to go down the road of intimacy, I will think on it and explore that idea. But I am also happy to walk away from what isn't working, friendship more than friends a job etc. I want to enjoy my life , not have endless arguments
Nah. There is a difference between kindness and weakness. Between strength and cruelty. The problem is that many women can’t tell the difference. So when treated with kindness they mistake it for weakness. When treated cruelly they perceive it as strength. Sad. Men just need to stop being afraid of her anger…or afraid of her leaving. …and if she can’t tell the difference between kindness and weakness? Life will teach her the hard way. 🤷🏾♂️
That's much easier said then done my nigga. Humans are social creatures & we are also aware if you are logical that everything only has value if 1or more people say it do. A example: Diamonds only cost more then other jewels because a huge chunk of people have more interest in them, even though most say other jewels look similar or better. So it is hard to separate that mentality when it comes to dating sometimes for normies. Also if she calls you "sweet" alot of the time your in trouble now a days so you should take notice.
@@IsmaelKenig Imho, its probably better that most of us men overcorrect as despite what comes out of womens mouths, they will likely stay if we are a little toxic or detached then not enough.
Women say one thing but actually respond to something completely different. They say they want to be treated like a queen but go for men that treat them dirt. If they don't know what they want, you can't be it.
they lie habitually to survive and exploit whatever related opportunity. yes, we do know about their (evo.psych) nature for long and that finally has to entail consequences… eg in no f.o.m.o. held on xx.s, no gents’ m.e.a.t. to freely be ‘in-wasted’ to obnoxious xx.ine aliens. for (y)our very sakes, gents.
A man with no femininity at all is an incomplete man, but the masculinity has to come first. The reason is that the woman believes she can bring out the feminine side or even teach it to him from stratch (a woman believes she can change a man because of course she believes that), but she cannnot help a man acquire masculinity that he does not already have. I think there's an analogy with one aspect of the appeal of the "bad boy". A woman seeks both strength and discipline. A strong man can learn discipline, but the discipline of a weak man is meaningless because it has never been tested.
You really have to max out your feminine *and* masculine sides, basically to just fully develop your whole personality. This is something that's pretty well described in new age spirituality, the idea that every one of us has some proportion of divine masculine and divine feminine within us that we have to express to be whole.
The traits that make me a good husband and father’s are almost entirely lacking in the traits that make men Chad’s in Tyrone’s that women become aroused by and want to meet with. I suspect this what gives rise to the paternity fraud level today, which is currently a hard statistic of 32% of all live births in the United States, all of which have been discovered, either by accident, predominantly, or, and a minority of cases by putative father’s, becoming suspicious for some reason and discreetly having paternity test performed. the estimated level of paternity fraud is much higher. The notion that women are going to find a good husband, father, and provider, and a Chad or Tyrone, who will commit to her all in the same man is simply delusional. The overwhelming majority of women do not have a high enough sexual marketplace value to qualify for these higher value men they want to meet with. They may become pregnant by them, but they will not be married to them. they will either expect men of value as husbands, fathers and providers to marry them as single mothers, or had a pretty dismayingly high rate, they will cuckold the man and commit paternity fraud. This is why it is essential that men work politically, actively, to get mandatory paternity, testing for all live births, universally, and not merely for live births out of wedlock, and also to criminalize paternity fraud to the same degree as all other forms of fraud at the same level of damage to the victim. And in this case, that damage is severe, consistent as it does of the men’s resources and income, parental investment, and denial of the man’s own right to his own genetic legacy, effectively deleting that man from the gene pool. Women should spend time in prison for that. They should also have all the benefits and all of the “rewards“ they get for paternity fraud removed, impart through revocation of parental rights. It should be noted that the men who are in the group of 80% of all men that women reject and disrespect as “unattractive“ and “below average“, both of which are statistically impossible, that those men still contain among them a large number for each, and every woman who does not qualify for one of these so-called Chad‘s, and Tyrone‘s, a large number of husband prospects, who are still a perfect answer to the hypergamous question: “Is this the highest value, most powerful, most secure man, that I can attain.?“ There are many men in that group who are objectively superior to women and sexual market place value, who are objectively superior to women in income, wealth and assets, Power, status, and ability. All of the things that women instinctively look for. It is only because of modern western societies complete removal of almost all social and natural restraints upon female hypergamy, that it has been permitted to express in the current, hyper, exaggerated, pathological level that it is. Unfortunately, until unless there are major reforms in the family law and divorce court system, reforms that make it incumbent upon women to take seriously the sacred vows they currently take and shred at a moments notice, and make the marital contract, fully enforceable against women, and not only unilaterally against men, until that happens, it is still not in the best interest of any man, to marry, or make commitment to any woman, or to engage in any relationship, the circumstances of which could put that man at legal risk of being held liable for marriage, N type financial benefits, and a break up. I’m sorry, sir. You have a great many good points, and I think that your channel is high-quality. I also sync, however, that you are far too soft on women, and I’m uncertain as to exactly what your motivation in being so is. I have a question for you, sir, and I am not being combative here. I am, in fact, sincerely, seeking data. Do you keep statistics and data on the success rate of men who take your course? I would be interested in knowing how many men take your course, and actually get the kind of relationships that they are seeking, and following your advice and teachings. It is my sincere hope that you do have such data, and that it is high. Unfortunately, it’s going to run up against the data from the dating sites, which is quite damning of modern western women . I will watch for your reply, sir. With respect, Dr. John, L. Trench III
I think the point is not to be aggressive towards her, but also don't show weak emotions. Hold your masculine frame, be tall, be lean, have a great face and it will be good relationship.
I think it has to do a lot with the "agreeableness" factor. Woman tend to be highly agreeable whereas men are less agreeable. This is what Jordan Peterson talked about in regards to the disparity between woman's wages and mens wages. Woman just don't fight for more money like men do. I think there is a biological drive in woman to choose men that are less agreeable. They lose respect for men that are highly agreeable, such as kissing the woman's ass all the time, doing what she wants all the time, expecting her to lead, constantly telling her what she wants to hear, etc... Woman pick up on this behavior in "nice guys" and lose interest really quick, but men who are less agreeable and lead, make woman more interested in you because its better in the long run for them. You will be the one fighting for more money at work, not getting taken advantage of by auto mechanics, properly disciplining the kids, etc... If the woman is highly feminine, then she will want a man like that and the relationship will tend to work out, but if the woman is highly masculine her innate biology will want a man like that, but will constantly be at odds with him because of the masculine traits in her, so at the end of the day she will settle with a "nice guy" and resent him for their entire marriage. I think feminism teaches western woman to be more masculine, which puts them at odds with most men.
0:36 too bad my personality is that of gratitude and gratefulness. I can't help but be really thankful whenever someone does something good for me or if there's some quality in someone which I respect/admire, I can't help but compliment them about it. Being a "bad guy" is something not for me. The best I could be is someone honest. At times I think the only way I can get a girl to like me back is by knocking some girl out of her consciousness, taking her back to my villa, and keeping her tied in my basement until Stockholm Syndrome kicks in. Till then I will keep treating her according to how she acts. I also plan to do this on some girl that is plain-looking, loner, introverted type of girl, preferably someone who is possibly love starved. I heard these type fall for Stockholm Syndrome even more easily and fast
LOL, damn, all you have to do, is to change who you are, how you behave, and what you say. Oh, and you do also have to train every day to be amazingly fit, work enough hours and jobs to be a millionaire, oh and of course remember to be at home, have time to take her out, maintain the home and the other not contradicting things... ok got it. :-) Or you could just do as I do, if a woman likes me as I am then great or else is she not for me, I do not expect her to change, I knew what I was saying yes to, and she knew the same.
This is pretty good advice. However, I never really understood it until sometime last year when I read something in someone's biography (sort of). **He had just had yet another stand-off at work about something, and it resulted in a bit of a scene. A while later, his good friend explained to him why such things kept happening to him:** "Do you know why you're always getting into these hassles? When you first meet people, you come on like Mr. Nice Guy, so they try to take advantage of you. But you're NOT Mr. Nice Guy, you're hard as nails - let them know that FROM THE BEGINNING." I am not exaggerating when I say this is some of the best advice I have ever gotten. It felt like his friend was speaking directly to me. Men are civil when dealing with one another because we KNOW that violence (or at least a "less pleasant approach") is pretty much always on offer. We're not civil because we're saints, we're civil because we know the alternative. To encourage a woman's sexual attraction (and even positive behavior), she needs to KNOW that you are not someone to be trifled with; that you are potentially dangerous; that you are MASCULINE. If she doesn't, she'll naturally cast you aside or start "misbehaving" She likely won't even be self-aware of what's driving her, but it drives her all the same. Unless your masculine frame/strength/competence is presented FIRST, your kindness will be interpreted as weakness.
I look at it this way... Sweet is something that's enjoyable in small amounts. A teaspoon or 2 of sugar in your coffee is nice. 10 teaspoons is revolting. Dessert comes after dinner, not instead of. If you're a steak & veges man, you can finish that off with an ice cream. But if your dinner is a half a tub of ice cream, you're just a loser.
But why does nurturing always get called feminine? I think there is respective nurturing in both femininity and masculinity. Wanting to provide for a wife and family, keep them safe, keep them comfortable and happy is nurturing. I think that the rhetoric that reinforces that any nurturing is feminine is creating a lot of problems in how both men and women perceive that trait. Me caring for my nieces or playing with a puppy is not feminine at all, but it is nurturing. Just sharing a different perspective on it
My God are my fellow dudes that stupid to put a gurl on a pedestal? When I hear a woman say something stupid it just makes think she’s not very bright. I’ll call her out. I hope she hates me. I love making them sad and yell at me. I just laugh.
They rather have someone with status and value. It’s not that they want to be treated poorly. It’s mainly the deep natural desire to be wanted/used by someone better. And treating them “right” early on does not convey your high value. That’s the default setting at least. If she’s grown, wether she’s young or old because it’s is NOT dependent on her age AT ALL, then it’s different but BUT for most “women” (quotation because not all females are women and I’m not talking about lgbtq) ..for most women default settings are all they have to operate on.
I mean, I may be speaking for myself but my girl calls me sweet and still sees me as a very sexual partner. I think girls like masculine but effeminate guys if they’re looking for a long term, obviously you have to be somewhat good looking.
Hello Alexander, I don't know where to put this so just putting this here even if you don't read it. I have been watching a lot of self improvement content creators for a long time and I must say whatever knowledge or wisdom I gained from you had a much deeper impact than from any of them. After trying for a long time I have finally found the woman perfect for me, someone who looks up to me and will be soon my loving wife and whose main goal is to make me happy. Thank you for the valuable content which you are putting out here for folks who struggle to understand these things. Thanks a lot mate.
If a woman won't bring me peace to my life, I don't care about that woman's presuppositions - I'm content alone if I can't find a woman who wants and would bring us both peace. Flippant women with this uncertainty in attraction based on such subjective characteristics are neurotic imo. There is value to understanding when masculinity is mandatory and when emotional intelligence is mandatory with a 'high value woman' though, of course.
In regards to the strong guy holding the puppy/child. The original definition of Meek: strength with restraint. These were the the words the Bible had in mind when it said the meek shall inherit the earth.
Right on the money. There's a time and place for everything. I've personally made the mistake of estranging a high quality good looking woman by being too tough for too long. At some time it's time to soften up, and open up. Typically when she runs away after a couple of weeks (or months) of rampant sex.
I learned this during my bachelor days: I am the head of my home and asking a woman for marriage is an invitation for her to enter MY life, MY home, MY provision and benefits, and I AM 100% in authority over it all. If she wouldn't accept those terms, then the boss babe could do it all alone. It is my way or the highway ...
You're missing a big part of this equation. The mean guy also has to be relatively young (like 20s-30s max) and very fit and attractive. If he's not hot (like top 5% or less) being mean doesn't work at all. The average man is better off being nice but not groveling.
Whilst looks are relevant, its not the be all and end all. You can still be nice and not nice by using back handed compliments and making jokes at the woman's expense.....ie to show you are still willing to take it or leave it. I agree that being an unattractive arsehole is not a winning combination.
For gents there’s always the option of ignoring | rejecting xx.s, and whether that be reciprocal is only relevant with external validation (eg by xx.s) still not been given phq.s about.
The problem is that I don't really know if I'm being more feminine or masculine, and I don't know how to control both aspects. I just do what seems right.
Ah, lightbulb. Women who say "I will be feminine for the right man". Of course that makes perfect sense. Unfortunately it just dawned on me that that is the point of keeping women as "low social status". I think I've just come to the realisation that women can pick one of two options. 1) Feel sexual attraction to men 2) have equal social status.
Married 40+ years. The game never ends. Masculine frame serves you in every aspect of life. If you get complacent, so does she and eventually the bedroom dies. Treat her like a queen and she'll treat you like a peasant and cheat on you. Stay frosty gents.
Hey mate, if I had a male friend who I had to think, double-think & triple-think about how they viewed me as a man, I wouldn’t bother having them as a friend, we just know whether a guy is a good bloke or not, so why would I bother jumping through an endless amount of hoops just to “prove” to a woman that I’m “maintaining my masculinity”? I agree with many of your clips, but this one is just not right, in my opinion.
Well said on the whole. "masculinity is not a zero-sum game" - yes! We ALL, men and women, embody positive and negative aspects of masculinity and femininity.
I treated my first girlfriend poorly because I got cocky since she complimented me 24/7, which was love bombing on her part. So we both manipulated each other. She eventually left me, even though I was above her, she thought I was a perfect 10/10 and let a lot of my mistakes slide, until they got to be excessive. I’m surprised she stuck around for as long as she did, she had trauma and feared that I was gonna leave her for a better option… it was all a mess
Say, there's a woman in a room with 10 men, and all 10 men are telling her how beautiful she is, and how amazing she is, and they are lighting her cigarette and buying her drinks, and just treating her like gold. Then, all of a sudden, in walks the 11th man, he takes one look at her and says, "Hey, how ya doin'," turns his back on her, and starts talking to his boys. That's the guy she wants to be with - the 11th man - not any of the 10 men who were treating her well all night. But the one guy that couldn't care less, why? Because, for some reason, women don't want nice, they don't want real, they don't want to be treated well. I mean, not at first and sometimes not ever, and I think that's crazy, and I refuse to play that game, get a girl by pretending I don't like her. I wanna be with a woman who's real, who digs it when I'm nice to her, who doesn't see that as weakness or take me for granted when I tell her that I think she is more amazing than anything else in the entire world. But, unfortunately, most women aren't like that. They say they are, deep down inside they want to be, but... they're not.
I think this is something to do with human evolution. For millions of years human females were under the sheer dominance of human males and only during last 40, 50 years they starting to become independent their own. They may not show it you openly, but in their DNA they have the tendency of attraction towards a dominant males. This could be a reason why for many women rough sex, abasement, bad treatments, disrespect, disregard from men are secret attraction triggers.
I have told my wife multiple times that men do not want to be known as sweet. I recall at poolside in. Marriott property, a woman overhearing me telling my wife, make up your mind regarding dinner selection. The woman said “happy wife, happy life”. She was shocked when I replied “not in my house”. I
At the core of the behavior is hypergamy. Don’t exhibit behaviors that would suggest her time is more valuable than your time, or that she as a person is more valuable than you are. It’s that simple. Example: when her beauty is brought up in discussion, make her out to be rather ordinary in attractiveness, even if it isn’t true to you. If she’s drop dead gorgeous, don’t give her ANY free attention and make sure she knows that her lack of depth in other components of attractiveness is taking away from her overall score. And if you ever get a tee’d up opportunity to score her 1-10 to her face… make sure it’s believable.. give her that non-existent “7”… which indicates a modest compliment at best.
We have to be multidimensional and entertaining, but they feel they don't have to be anything except good looking...and some don't think they even have to be that. It's become a running gag. I played that game for nearly 30 years and I don't have time to waste on that crap; unassailable psychological fact or not, I don't have to deal with it if I just go about my life. I'm finally free. If you want to enjoy the benefits I have, YOU are going to have to earn them, because I already have
I won't obsess over her. I'll treat her nicely with respect. I'll treat her normally as I do others. I'll let her know my life doesn't revolve around her. If she doesn't like that, I'll gladly leave her.
You are confusing cause and effect here because there is a key component that isn't being considered: the guy's looks. Men are not "needy" or "indifferent" in a vacuum, good-looking men are used to being chased and have spare options, so they don't need to be clingy. A sub-5 dude is needy because he has no options, every iota of a chance is to save his life, no positive reinforcement throughout his entire life, hence the obsession with external validation... the root cause of these issues run much deeper than one's personality (which is also developed through life based upon his looks btw) or "choice" of being needy or not, most don't ever get to have that choice...
Inexperienced (usually young) and low quality women (some don't know any better and fail to learn) are mistaking the "bad boy" and "dark triad" traits and behaviours as indicators of competence, especially arrogance for confidence and self-worth/high value in men. It has been like that since I can remember, just more prevalent and/or louder with the social media and hookup culture on the rise.
Thanks a lot for your videos! You should write a Book to expose the whole female psychology to the guys (or at least a summary with this Knowledge on a PDF for Download etc.). A lot german Content creators refer to your videos. So shout-out to you around the globe.
In psychology this phenomenon is called “anxious attachment style dysregulation”. This is NOT actually normal, even if it is common. Most women don’t have this attachment style. Please don’t walk away from this video with any bad ideas. Just google attachment style psychology if you ACTUALLY want to learn about these dysregulations.
I think this also really plays into the validation a woman gets from changing a man into something that he originally wasn't. Bad boy that she tames etc.
I keep realizing this more and more. Women are children with adult privileges. But they need to be looked after and guide and sometimes told exactly what to do.
![[#2024MAMA] ROSÉ (로제), Bruno Mars - APT. | Mnet 241122 방송](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/dgGqD28J6aQ/mqdefault.jpg)
Watch full version of this video here: www.patreon.com/posts/87756164?
1:04 Fam this point makes no sense. Women want whomever they're compatible with. Just like all men do. Just kidding everyone is different. Some people don't even want compatibility, they wanna hook up or this or that. People are complicated. What even is a masculine man. And you're saying "too non threatening" this is the shallow advice. Reminds me of TrippAdvice.
My grandfather used to say: Don't be nice, be fair. Be fair to others but more importantly be fair to yourself.
You must have good family members to say good things to you. Mine never guided me in anything
wise words 👍
Wise man
That's great advice.
It was easy in the 90’s. All you needed was long hair and a goatee, and you were edgy.😂
I really don’t care if women want someone who’s bad. I want a woman who wants someone who treats her nice. If he’s not out there, fine by me. I can still be myself. Be nice to people. I just hate unnecessary tension and negative energy. Women may make up the rules for relationships. But I make up the rules of my life. A woman is just a nice addition. Nothing more
then prepare to get divorced and treated poorly for treating her nice.
you will fail the tests and bore the life out of her.
Good philosophy. I don't have the impression you're too nice. You're more of a kind type of man. Find a woman who's also kind , and you'll probably be ok. I think.
@@guntertorfs6486 no because women abuse kindness with entitlement and men are thankful for it.
Why attract a woman for whom you must always wear a mask and be a person who you are not? That sounds like literal hell.
And it is what is being missed by a lot of the manosphere advice. Also: never take dating advice from women, or rely on what women say they want.
Read "No More Mr. Nice Guy". Be masculine and not too nice, not too willing to please. You are doing that for YOU. Not to please a woman who can only get wet if you give her a knuckle sandwich.
I'm pretty much like you, fundamentally, so I can relate. However, I think you might benefit (as I have) from something I read once in someone's biography (sort of).
*He had just had yet another stand-off at work about something, and it resulted in a bit of a scene. A while later, his good friend explained to him why such things kept happening to him:*
"Do you know why you're always getting into these hassles?
When you first meet people, you come on like Mr. Nice Guy, so they try to take advantage of you.
But you're NOT Mr. Nice Guy, you're hard as nails - let them know that FROM THE BEGINNING."
I am not exaggerating when I say this is some of the best advice I have ever gotten. It felt like his friend was speaking directly to me.
Men are civil when dealing with one another because we KNOW that violence (or at least a "less pleasant approach") is pretty much always on offer. We're not civil because we're saints, we're civil because we know the alternative.
To encourage a woman's sexual attraction (and even positive behavior), she needs to KNOW that you are not someone to be trifled with; that you are potentially dangerous; that you are MASCULINE. If she doesn't, she'll naturally cast you aside or start "misbehaving"
She likely won't even be self-aware of what's driving her, but it drives her all the same. Unless your masculine frame/strength/competence is presented FIRST, your kindness will be interpreted as weakness.
I am 70 now and still remember when after ten years of marriage my first wife divorced me my mother told me my problem was that I treated my women to well. R.I.P. mom.
That's very telling, that your mother would say you treated her to well, is like you can't spoil your wife?
If you give them everything they want you will lose them. My wife of 25 years admits that. Women seem to need to feel like they never quite have you 100% locked down. As soon as they do they don’t want you anymore.
With my longterm partner, she knows that I’m capable of getting other women. She knows I’m choosing to give her my attention, and she knows what to do to keep my interest and what’s important to me.
I do immensely enjoy making her happy, but the secret sauce to me has been that I’ve learned more and more what makes _me_ happy, and I’ve invited her into that space and made it very clear what makes me happy and what doesn’t. I’ve made it easier for her to please me, and because she admires me, she’s very happy making me happy.
This is as it should be.
@@robhulsonexactly. At one low point in our marriage, my wife brought up her ability to go out and find a new man. I told her to go for it. I challenged her to find a man who was willing to do the same things I did with the same intense dedication. Then, I asked her if she honestly thought I could not find a younger, hotter woman to fill her shoes. It felt awful to go there, but the point hit home and ended any future such talks. We are nearing our 19th anniversary now, and happier than ever.
Long story short, women only want a man that other women want
Women are chaos
@@stevescuba1978 that’s awesome, Steve. There does come a time in a longterm relationship where her hypergamy is going to kick in and seek to make sure that she is still with a good man. You handled it with grace and excellence.
The problem for many men in LTRs is that they stop gaming their woman, and because their hierarchy of needs is mostly met, they slack off and stop caring about becoming better, more useful, more meaningful.
They stop working on their body because they forget that a day might come where the strength of men is needed again. They’re consumer couch potatoes.
And yes, a woman is going to test this and make sure she’s doing her part to ensure she’s with a quality man.
Its that inherant drive within them to create chaos within the family, and procreate more greed into the world. This is why women really shouldn't have dating rights
If someone wants to be with someone that treats them badly, they're basically saying, that they don't respect themselves and that's probably not the kind of person you want to be with
Yes, I remember thinking that.
Yes, they want to hear the truth and to be treated as bad as they feel. Someone who really gets them
Women don't respect themselves nor do they love themselves. They just have a price
Its not about treating them bad, its simply about not treating them too good. Your girl will constantly sh!t test you with little things throughout a relationship and its simply your job to remain stoic and not care if she leaves, when you're actually ok with it if she leaves this will all just be natural and you'll act right and keep her attraction, its really not complicated
To follow up on your point, what does a modern, western woman have/do to respect themselves about?
Game, Set, Match
Just don’t treat her any better than she treats you. You know, like normal.
Stop with the covert contracts.
Inform her of your expectations, invite her to follow your lead. She can then choose to follow or you just move on. No big deal.
Perfect comment. Pay attention to the energy give off and respond likewise. Chasing doesn't mean she's so special. Chasing means that you think you are in lack. And no one is ever in lack. It's a false idea stemming from fear, which is also an illusion.
The unbelievable amount of effort needed for this seems so unnatural.
The only justifiable reason to go through all of this is to find an appropriate mate to have children with.
Men have been through much worse for even little reward. I dunno man, maybe you're low test. Either way, there's less competition for me, so you can quit if you want 🤷♂
@@user-og6hl6lv7p I'm not "low test". I'm "high logic".
It is unnatural because even if you win, you're not get what you need as a man. Going through the effort for ran through women: they're 99% useless as a woman to you as a man because they haven't ever considered they'd need to contribute anything for the biological goal which is creating new life.
I believe personal growth/development is actually the main reason, we could say spiritual growth as well. We mature through suffering, it's complicated but that's what I think currently. Men and women have become the challenge since we made life so easy with all comfort we have at our disposal.
You see, you must read your woman's mind, and act masculine when she wants, and be tender when she wants. Your needs and feelings do not matter. And, don't be boring either, so sometimes be masculine when she wants tender. Lol.
She wants, she wants, she wants, she wants....
It's tiring just listening to it.
Fk 'em.
Bro, guys who don't care what women want get the most action
@mentoriii3475 Good for them...I'm thankfully not interested anymore.
what do you mean?
@@ChrisLee-yr7tz
Married for 15 years, and I totally agree.
This sort of crap is why I (and many other men) have so little respect for females in general. Just imagine if the roles were reversed: imagine if a man wanted to be treated well by a woman, but not too well, or he would lose all respect and sexual attraction for her; everyone would call such a man a demented lunatic, and rightly so! And imagine that a woman was expected to constantly walk on eggshells around her man, trying to guess whether or not to treat him well in this or that moment, in this or that situation, fearing that if she guesses wrongly and treats him too well, he may lose all respect and desire for her; everyone would be calling that an abusive relationship! The bottom line is that women are far more trouble than they are worth; I have learned to keep them at arm's length. If men are "emotionally distant", this is why: women have made us this way.
Good way to put it… it’s insanity & not worth any effort whatsoever.
As a friend of mine said, the overwhelming majority of women today are not worth the trouble to get their 15 minutes of fame per week.
Such little respect for females? Damn I feel sorry for your mom. Date men, that’s a good option
@davidgleba You win the comment section, the absolute truth.
I wonder how our ancestors managed to navigate their way through all this bs? , oh! that's right they didn't have to because women then made no such high demands im sure.
At the beginning of a relationship she wants this, and she wants this, and she wants this, and she wants this, and there is this requirement, and there is this requirement, and you have to make sure she feels this emotion, and this emotion, and this emotion ...
Whatever happened to, I'm a Man, you're a Woman, let's just get to know each other and enjoy each others company and see if we are compatible and things work out.
That simplicity is still potentially there - as long as you are really physically attractive.
That died.
Have you watched Seinfeld? There's a quote:
'How do you date without any games? How do you know who is winning?'
That works.
If you can smile and say hello, then she smiles and says hello in return, you've cracked the code.
"Me man. You woman" still works. "Women break rules for the Alpha" is just another way of saying that.
Same old cack. These women are not looking for men they respect or to look up to. They want Chad but her version of him. Basically, it’s always asking men to be who they are not to get a woman. The whole relationship, whether short or long, is just the man acting. Once the act stops or she gets comfortable, she will move on. The data supports that women nowadays move on because of their many options. Men are being asked to continually jump through hoops and bend over backwards all for her ‘happiness’ and women are never happy for long.
exactly
They want Chad to be Prince Charming and nice guys to become douches, and of course they fail in both endeavours.
They always end up leaving the guys, of course the alphas don't mind, since they have a bunch of options, it's the Betas that wind up alone
Nah, i will keep my money and my sanity by staying single.
Yeah that way you also keep your genes to your self and your geneological tree dies with you.
Or you spread your genes while being single, which is more likely to result in kids that couldnt reach their max potential because of the father not beeing there for egotistical reasons.
That is sanity
Best comment
@@kingkruzifix1546 there's always a rented uterus
@@kingkruzifix1546 Why does it matter what happens with some bits of information implanted inside me? It matters much more what happens with more important information I have, like thoughts.
@kingkruzifix1546 do you know how many world there are? Who cares about this world when it's a lower realm
It seems like getting girls these days means literally loosing your mind.😢
Forget girls man, make a lot of money and they will lose their mind chasing you ;)
You just got a glimpse.... believe it or suffer.. follow your brain, not your hormones!
well… still wanting them is first stage in that, in case mind was there at all, to be lost eventually.
For all of that, I expect my girl to be at least an 8 or a 9, but the majority of women aren't and so they'll live lonely lives unable to compete for the men who are willing to put in that much effort just to have a "good" relationship.
@@MeidoInHebun The majority of men are also 5 or 6 even less that's why it will never change and that's why i believe those "Self improvement" classes are enormous waste of time and money.
On the other hand i do believe in being a n absolute beast of a man that's what you should thrive for be your best self, and by the time you'll get there your chances of mating Will be much higher.
But don't let that be your goal cause then you will not be attractive.
"Treat em mean, keep em keen" has been a saying for decades if not centuries
Aus and NZ haven't been around for centuries.
@@Velsbasketcase Do you really think the saying is unique to au/nz?
Throughout all of human history, it's some wiseass au/nz guy who invented that?
I highly doubt it.
@@myne00it's an English saying. You're welcome
@@BryJovi17 Thats a crime to say in UK.
First time i've heard this. Where was this all my youth lol not like i would've followed through, i was too brainwashed but still.
This is actually great. Treating my gfs badly is my specialty. I got cheated on once at 16 and I became a monster. And ignoring/being quiet mean to them got me more results. My favorite words. I'm leaving
Yes I found this out much later 27 now am just a dick it's the only way
Just don’t catch feelings or invest any energy into the relationship, be ready to walk away at any moment
You sound like Andrew tate
Maybe you are what low value women need. I hope you stay away from high value women as paying it forward like this only messes up someone good, like you used to be.
@@moonknight4053 Andrew knows a thing or two
You understand its because they themselves feel worthless so they seek to be treated as such. If you treat someone well that feels worthless, to them you are now less then worthless. If anyone cant understand " hey I like you so I do nice things for you sometimes. " just move on from them,they're broken.
This
Yeah, they are mentally damaged.
@@spartanghost9713 The fact that we all have very similar experiences makes it obvious that many women are broken and are unable to do any self-reflection to overcome their trauma. It's extremely sad.
If you treat her like a celebrity, she will treat you like a fan.
The world needs to get back to the understanding that has been known for centuries, that woman are basically unstable and require such complicated management. The downfall of modern relationships is the idea we need to treat woman equally when the reality is woman need to be managed like emotional children.
Very brutal, very true!....you bastard..lol..
There it is. And you know what? When you do they love it.
You know the secret
@@blessingecoma9233 That was the most insightful rebuttal I've read in ages! You really changed my mind with your nuanced perspective :)
@@blessingecoma9233 sarcasm ineffective. Your comment is dumb but more importantly wrong.
They know they're awful tyrants.
Exactly!
They ARE tyrants while being victims, so strong in their womanhood as long as she has her lying support-group of false female friends, with each woman as a pathetic parody of what no man wants. They are detached from what men want, that feminine life companion worthy of your sacrifices, of giving the sweat & the strain of aching muscles and/or mind . . . they recite the mantra, over & over, "I want ...", "I want ..." Paradox rises from the deeps because IF/WHEN they get, they cast aside as trash in time, living Asian legend made real of the "Hungry Ghost".
There also may be a psychological phenomenon going on. I noticed with one gf that whenever I did something truly kind- a big romantic gesture or a special dinner- she'd immediately (on that very date) begin treating me like trash. I've done a lot of personal psych work and have little baggage left I'd estimate. But, recently when my current gf truly stepped up and began going hard to be a better gf to me I began to feel "off." What was off? I was being treated with true respect and dedication, something I'd never experienced (and I mean never). So, the remnants of hurt, loneliness, frustration from my mom, past relationships etc began to bubble up. I didn't treat her poorly, but I felt the urge to. I took a drive and realized what was happening. I was honest with myself. Sometimes when a person gets love they aren't used to it makes them uncomfortable in this way. Real dedication is healing. Healing, by its very nature brings the hurt up by contrast in experiences. And, those who have not done their family of origin work will have a LOT of nasty feelings surface. Many live a life of active avoidance- so they associate You with that hurt instead of knowing it comes from their past. They aren't rejecting you, they are disowning the better part of themselves because they are unwilling to suffer.
💯💯💯💯
All of our lives are psychological phenomenon. People are extremely blind to their actions, motives, etc. If you aren't actively self-reflecting you are reacting to the world around you and inside you.
A big waste of time. Work on yourself.
@@hrcls11 stop consuming soylent
When youre alone it sucks, feels impossible but when you have a girlfriend or wife its meh.
Like Chris Rock said, either lonely or bored.
I would rather be alone than unhappy. And as a man I am never lonely. There is always someone else.
@@sameerpandya1947 Lonely, bored or downright miserable with some c**t.
alone is fun
u need to train urself to be alone bcoz if u don't u will be needy and dependent and women will not respect you..
Women confuse confidence with being mean in all their interactions.
Guys way overcomplicate how to act so they end up worrying about that stuff. They miss really the only 4 important things for a woman to become and remain attracted:
1 - High self-esteem and boundaries
2 - Pursuit of excellence in life ie purpose
3 - Be amazing in bed
4 - Put her 2nd behind your purpose
You can be as sweet and nice to her as you want as long as she knows she is NOT the most important thing in your life - your purpose is - whatever you’re building (kids count as purpose)
Most men lack at least 1 if not all 4 of the above so they end up worrying about crap like “am I too sweet?”
PS. If you really think about the 4 above, you will understand why women love a$$holes. But you don’t have to be one.
Well said!
@@davidking4009 thanks
This has been my experience. Your comment deserves more attention, especially because it explains why women will settle for assholes.
At least the asshole knows what he wants and can make that the thing _she_ can aim at.
When I was married, my wife was my purpose. She felt it and lost attraction to me.
My longterm partner now, she knows I have several important purposes outside her. She knows I’m aware of what makes me happy, and what I want a woman to do in my life to make me happy. And yes, I am very sweet to her but without losing my balls nor my spine.
In fact, the counterintuitive thing I learned is that because I’m an admirable man she looks up to, _she_ is trying hard to please _me._ So yes, I do enjoy making her happy, but she seems happiest when she knows she’s making me _deeply_ happy, and frankly it’s because I tell her exactly what I want in a way she can learn how to consistently provide me.
The asshole puts her in this position, too, and her drive is so strong that if she doesn’t have the attention and discipline of a good man, she’ll readily choose the Bad Boy who knows what he wants her to do for him over the Nice Guy who is desperately trying to please her.
Shakespeare’s _As You Like It_ put it really well. A beautiful woman named Phoebe has only known the type of attention a Nice Guy has given her, and she’s bored to tears with him. There appears a character (a woman disguised as a man) who is not afraid to tell her how badly she’s behaving. Phoebe’s whole being falls in love with this persona, and she says:
“Sweet youth, I pray you chide a year together.
I had rather hear you chide than this man woo.”
In other words, she comes alive when a man disciplines her and shows her the right way to behave and treat _him_ and is dry as the Sahara to the man who is only focused on how to please _her_.
I disagree about point 3. To her this is all hinged on how she feels about you.
@@1Mutton1 she won’t sleep with you if she isn’t attracted to you. So, once it on, it’s on. It’s up to you from there and #3 is essential for getting a woman hooked on you. And great s3x will for sure change the way she feels about you, not the other way around.
Be nice. They will move on to find their drama fix somewhere else. I use this method. It works well.
If you are genuinely a nice guy why pretend to be a prick? Let the drama queens go off and get their chaos from another man. I agree. Peace to you brother.
Selfish, Asshole, dick, Emotionless… I have been called this my whole life by women and some how I always attracted more women into my life, I am married now and still hear this. I always wondered if I am such an asshole why do these women still coming back. I guess this video clarifies it.
It came naturally to me though. I think it all came from my watching my dad. I dont think my dad was a good role model of masculinity but he definitely was unapologetic af.
Unfortunately the good people of the world need to learn the hard way......eventually you have to teach your self to be an arsehole.
do you treat your wife like an asshole and everything else you said? is that what's she wants or needs? would she leave you if all the sudden you became a nice? I need to no
@@slayer7682 I am definitely a lot nicer to my wife compared to other women I have been with. She knew how I was and still agreed to marry me ( I am also grateful to have met someone who lets me be masculine). In fact she used to say “I dont think I could have married someone soft” or “someone who did not challenge me” … her words.
80% of the time I am nice to my wife, but when she is being unreasonable thats probably when I put my foot down and become very uncompromising. And one day she is going to be the mother of my children so yah I am mostly nice.
No one can take that from you, nor should be jealous it's pointless some guys are just more attractive it's genetic.
You cannot change your attractiveness that's why i don't believe any of these guides or workshops, Its like "Make up for guys" it's an industry made to make money out of unattractive men that will always be unattractive and undesirable.
Period!
This comment section is a mental ward XD
I used to flounder w women cuz i thought they would want to be treated w respect and kindness. When i discovered what they actually respond to, i wanted nothing to do w them.
Changing core aspects of yourself to acquire fleeting validation form others is placing others on a pedestal.
Live in the truth and be yourself. No one can give nor take away your value as human being.
I don’t agree that men are nice because they’re thirsty or afraid to state their intentions…most men are just genuinely nice and learned that being nice shows how much they care.
I'm nice because I'd feel bad if I made someone upset, that's literally it
Men are nice because their single mothers told them that women just want a nice guy that why so many men think they're entitled to women because they were nice it crazy how women hate nice guys but they will tell their sons to be that guy
@@GoatHolyfield I won’t say entitled, I feel that word is overused. I agree with everything else but I think most men are genuinely taught to be nice to women they like,
I don't want to treat anyone nasty. I know I can damage others physically and emotionally, so that doesn't interest me. I do me, whether people like me or not is their own choice. I choose to like those that want to get along with me, man or woman. If a woman wants to go down the road of intimacy, I will think on it and explore that idea. But I am also happy to walk away from what isn't working, friendship more than friends a job etc. I want to enjoy my life , not have endless arguments
@TruthTV8556💯💯💯
Preach
Nah. There is a difference between kindness and weakness. Between strength and cruelty. The problem is that many women can’t tell the difference.
So when treated with kindness they mistake it for weakness. When treated cruelly they perceive it as strength. Sad.
Men just need to stop being afraid of her anger…or afraid of her leaving. …and if she can’t tell the difference between kindness and weakness? Life will teach her the hard way. 🤷🏾♂️
If a dude gets into panic because he is called "sweet" he needs to stop putting his self-confidence in what other people think or say.
That's much easier said then done my nigga. Humans are social creatures & we are also aware if you are logical that everything only has value if 1or more people say it do.
A example: Diamonds only cost more then other jewels because a huge chunk of people have more interest in them, even though most say other jewels look similar or better.
So it is hard to separate that mentality when it comes to dating sometimes for normies.
Also if she calls you "sweet" alot of the time your in trouble now a days so you should take notice.
Sweet, Jesus. The guy and people in general are not smart enough to work with nuances and can't judge or adapt to the specific situation
@@IsmaelKenig Imho, its probably better that most of us men overcorrect as despite what comes out of womens mouths, they will likely stay if we are a little toxic or detached then not enough.
@@dellmaxson2184how big are your family jewls? Are the huge. Oval shaped. Lovely? The jewls. How big are your family jewls
@@jackspinner4727 lmao nice joke fam👌
At this point women are only temporarily present in your life so be how you want to be and get comfortable with being alone.
We all forgetting the phrase, "Treat 'em mean to keep 'em keen."
Women say one thing but actually respond to something completely different. They say they want to be treated like a queen but go for men that treat them dirt. If they don't know what they want, you can't be it.
they lie habitually to survive and exploit whatever related opportunity. yes, we do know about their (evo.psych) nature for long and that finally has to entail consequences… eg in no f.o.m.o. held on xx.s, no gents’ m.e.a.t. to freely be ‘in-wasted’ to obnoxious xx.ine aliens. for (y)our very sakes, gents.
A man with no femininity at all is an incomplete man, but the masculinity has to come first. The reason is that the woman believes she can bring out the feminine side or even teach it to him from stratch (a woman believes she can change a man because of course she believes that), but she cannnot help a man acquire masculinity that he does not already have.
I think there's an analogy with one aspect of the appeal of the "bad boy". A woman seeks both strength and discipline. A strong man can learn discipline, but the discipline of a weak man is meaningless because it has never been tested.
You really have to max out your feminine *and* masculine sides, basically to just fully develop your whole personality. This is something that's pretty well described in new age spirituality, the idea that every one of us has some proportion of divine masculine and divine feminine within us that we have to express to be whole.
Great source lmao
I’ve never seen a fireman that jacked with such low body-fat 😂😂 Definitely enhanced bodybuilders.
The traits that make me a good husband and father’s are almost entirely lacking in the traits that make men Chad’s in Tyrone’s that women become aroused by and want to meet with. I suspect this what gives rise to the paternity fraud level today, which is currently a hard statistic of 32% of all live births in the United States, all of which have been discovered, either by accident, predominantly, or, and a minority of cases by putative father’s, becoming suspicious for some reason and discreetly having paternity test performed. the estimated level of paternity fraud is much higher. The notion that women are going to find a good husband, father, and provider, and a Chad or Tyrone, who will commit to her all in the same man is simply delusional. The overwhelming majority of women do not have a high enough sexual marketplace value to qualify for these higher value men they want to meet with. They may become pregnant by them, but they will not be married to them. they will either expect men of value as husbands, fathers and providers to marry them as single mothers, or had a pretty dismayingly high rate, they will cuckold the man and commit paternity fraud. This is why it is essential that men work politically, actively, to get mandatory paternity, testing for all live births, universally, and not merely for live births out of wedlock, and also to criminalize paternity fraud to the same degree as all other forms of fraud at the same level of damage to the victim. And in this case, that damage is severe, consistent as it does of the men’s resources and income, parental investment, and denial of the man’s own right to his own genetic legacy, effectively deleting that man from the gene pool. Women should spend time in prison for that. They should also have all the benefits and all of the “rewards“ they get for paternity fraud removed, impart through revocation of parental rights.
It should be noted that the men who are in the group of 80% of all men that women reject and disrespect as “unattractive“ and “below average“, both of which are statistically impossible, that those men still contain among them a large number for each, and every woman who does not qualify for one of these so-called Chad‘s, and Tyrone‘s, a large number of husband prospects, who are still a perfect answer to the hypergamous question: “Is this the highest value, most powerful, most secure man, that I can attain.?“ There are many men in that group who are objectively superior to women and sexual market place value, who are objectively superior to women in income, wealth and assets, Power, status, and ability. All of the things that women instinctively look for. It is only because of modern western societies complete removal of almost all social and natural restraints upon female hypergamy, that it has been permitted to express in the current, hyper, exaggerated, pathological level that it is.
Unfortunately, until unless there are major reforms in the family law and divorce court system, reforms that make it incumbent upon women to take seriously the sacred vows they currently take and shred at a moments notice, and make the marital contract, fully enforceable against women, and not only unilaterally against men, until that happens, it is still not in the best interest of any man, to marry, or make commitment to any woman, or to engage in any relationship, the circumstances of which could put that man at legal risk of being held liable for marriage, N type financial benefits, and a break up.
I’m sorry, sir. You have a great many good points, and I think that your channel is high-quality. I also sync, however, that you are far too soft on women, and I’m uncertain as to exactly what your motivation in being so is.
I have a question for you, sir, and I am not being combative here. I am, in fact, sincerely, seeking data. Do you keep statistics and data on the success rate of men who take your course? I would be interested in knowing how many men take your course, and actually get the kind of relationships that they are seeking, and following your advice and teachings. It is my sincere hope that you do have such data, and that it is high. Unfortunately, it’s going to run up against the data from the dating sites, which is quite damning of modern western women . I will watch for your reply, sir. With respect, Dr. John, L. Trench III
I think the point is not to be aggressive towards her, but also don't show weak emotions. Hold your masculine frame, be tall, be lean, have a great face and it will be good relationship.
lol what if you are not tall or have nice face?
@@bogdankovalenko5096Be taller than her. Or super confident. Exercise and eat right.
I had a taller than me beautiful millionaire heiress going gaga for me when she thought I was ultra confident. I'm a nerdy bald academic with glasses.
Just be tall and good looking bro .
Hello, Alexander 😁
Going to put this playing on the background while I work.
Cheers.
I think it has to do a lot with the "agreeableness" factor. Woman tend to be highly agreeable whereas men are less agreeable. This is what Jordan Peterson talked about in regards to the disparity between woman's wages and mens wages. Woman just don't fight for more money like men do. I think there is a biological drive in woman to choose men that are less agreeable. They lose respect for men that are highly agreeable, such as kissing the woman's ass all the time, doing what she wants all the time, expecting her to lead, constantly telling her what she wants to hear, etc... Woman pick up on this behavior in "nice guys" and lose interest really quick, but men who are less agreeable and lead, make woman more interested in you because its better in the long run for them. You will be the one fighting for more money at work, not getting taken advantage of by auto mechanics, properly disciplining the kids, etc... If the woman is highly feminine, then she will want a man like that and the relationship will tend to work out, but if the woman is highly masculine her innate biology will want a man like that, but will constantly be at odds with him because of the masculine traits in her, so at the end of the day she will settle with a "nice guy" and resent him for their entire marriage. I think feminism teaches western woman to be more masculine, which puts them at odds with most men.
Excellent analysis. Spot on.
Absolutely spot on and exactly what I've thought
0:36 too bad my personality is that of gratitude and gratefulness. I can't help but be really thankful whenever someone does something good for me or if there's some quality in someone which I respect/admire, I can't help but compliment them about it. Being a "bad guy" is something not for me. The best I could be is someone honest. At times I think the only way I can get a girl to like me back is by knocking some girl out of her consciousness, taking her back to my villa, and keeping her tied in my basement until Stockholm Syndrome kicks in. Till then I will keep treating her according to how she acts. I also plan to do this on some girl that is plain-looking, loner, introverted type of girl, preferably someone who is possibly love starved. I heard these type fall for Stockholm Syndrome even more easily and fast
LOL, damn, all you have to do, is to change who you are, how you behave, and what you say.
Oh, and you do also have to train every day to be amazingly fit, work enough hours and jobs to be a millionaire, oh and of course remember to be at home, have time to take her out, maintain the home and the other not contradicting things... ok got it. :-)
Or you could just do as I do, if a woman likes me as I am then great or else is she not for me, I do not expect her to change, I knew what I was saying yes to, and she knew the same.
This is pretty good advice. However, I never really understood it until sometime last year when I read something in someone's biography (sort of).
**He had just had yet another stand-off at work about something, and it resulted in a bit of a scene. A while later, his good friend explained to him why such things kept happening to him:**
"Do you know why you're always getting into these hassles?
When you first meet people, you come on like Mr. Nice Guy, so they try to take advantage of you.
But you're NOT Mr. Nice Guy, you're hard as nails - let them know that FROM THE BEGINNING."
I am not exaggerating when I say this is some of the best advice I have ever gotten. It felt like his friend was speaking directly to me.
Men are civil when dealing with one another because we KNOW that violence (or at least a "less pleasant approach") is pretty much always on offer. We're not civil because we're saints, we're civil because we know the alternative.
To encourage a woman's sexual attraction (and even positive behavior), she needs to KNOW that you are not someone to be trifled with; that you are potentially dangerous; that you are MASCULINE. If she doesn't, she'll naturally cast you aside or start "misbehaving"
She likely won't even be self-aware of what's driving her, but it drives her all the same. Unless your masculine frame/strength/competence is presented FIRST, your kindness will be interpreted as weakness.
Correct.🎯
Nice guy is not people who treats someone right, it's someone who can't stand up for themselves
Anything that isn't accepting of love, is evil by nature.
You have to love yourself to give and/or receive love.
I look at it this way...
Sweet is something that's enjoyable in small amounts.
A teaspoon or 2 of sugar in your coffee is nice.
10 teaspoons is revolting.
Dessert comes after dinner,
not instead of.
If you're a steak & veges man, you can finish that off with an ice cream.
But if your dinner is a half a tub of ice cream, you're just a loser.
But why does nurturing always get called feminine? I think there is respective nurturing in both femininity and masculinity. Wanting to provide for a wife and family, keep them safe, keep them comfortable and happy is nurturing. I think that the rhetoric that reinforces that any nurturing is feminine is creating a lot of problems in how both men and women perceive that trait. Me caring for my nieces or playing with a puppy is not feminine at all, but it is nurturing. Just sharing a different perspective on it
My God are my fellow dudes that stupid to put a gurl on a pedestal? When I hear a woman say something stupid it just makes think she’s not very bright. I’ll call her out. I hope she hates me. I love making them sad and yell at me. I just laugh.
They rather have someone with status and value. It’s not that they want to be treated poorly. It’s mainly the deep natural desire to be wanted/used by someone better.
And treating them “right” early on does not convey your high value.
That’s the default setting at least. If she’s grown, wether she’s young or old because it’s is NOT dependent on her age AT ALL, then it’s different but BUT for most “women” (quotation because not all females are women and I’m not talking about lgbtq) ..for most women default settings are all they have to operate on.
Masculinity that serves her..?? Well what do they bring to the table
I mean, I may be speaking for myself but my girl calls me sweet and still sees me as a very sexual partner. I think girls like masculine but effeminate guys if they’re looking for a long term, obviously you have to be somewhat good looking.
Hello Alexander, I don't know where to put this so just putting this here even if you don't read it. I have been watching a lot of self improvement content creators for a long time and I must say whatever knowledge or wisdom I gained from you had a much deeper impact than from any of them. After trying for a long time I have finally found the woman perfect for me, someone who looks up to me and will be soon my loving wife and whose main goal is to make me happy. Thank you for the valuable content which you are putting out here for folks who struggle to understand these things. Thanks a lot mate.
If a woman won't bring me peace to my life, I don't care about that woman's presuppositions - I'm content alone if I can't find a woman who wants and would bring us both peace. Flippant women with this uncertainty in attraction based on such subjective characteristics are neurotic imo. There is value to understanding when masculinity is mandatory and when emotional intelligence is mandatory with a 'high value woman' though, of course.
Sadly, been there done all this and then you find she's a manipulative liar... Time to take a break from dating for a while 🙂
In regards to the strong guy holding the puppy/child.
The original definition of Meek: strength with restraint. These were the the words the Bible had in mind when it said the meek shall inherit the earth.
Women need to stop trying to be funny on TikTok.
Yeah best comment. True humor requires an element of absurdity and women can't do that. They _are_ that.
Unfortunately i am learning that being nice isn't masculine. I don't want to be a douche bag so I guess i will stay single, unfortunately.
In the end of the day its just a game and even if you win the prize isnt even that good.
Right on the money. There's a time and place for everything. I've personally made the mistake of estranging a high quality good looking woman by being too tough for too long. At some time it's time to soften up, and open up. Typically when she runs away after a couple of weeks (or months) of rampant sex.
Contradictory :
Girl in the initial video clearly describes a yerk treating her like trash, not a loving protector or an strong gentleman.
I learned this during my bachelor days: I am the head of my home and asking a woman for marriage is an invitation for her to enter MY life, MY home, MY provision and benefits, and I AM 100% in authority over it all. If she wouldn't accept those terms, then the boss babe could do it all alone. It is my way or the highway ...
Just be chad theory
This is probably the epiphany that took me the longest to reconcile. Its so the opposite of how you make friends with other men.
This is the story of most men.
You're missing a big part of this equation. The mean guy also has to be relatively young (like 20s-30s max) and very fit and attractive. If he's not hot (like top 5% or less) being mean doesn't work at all. The average man is better off being nice but not groveling.
Whilst looks are relevant, its not the be all and end all. You can still be nice and not nice by using back handed compliments and making jokes at the woman's expense.....ie to show you are still willing to take it or leave it. I agree that being an unattractive arsehole is not a winning combination.
For gents there’s always the option of ignoring | rejecting xx.s, and whether that be reciprocal is only relevant with external validation (eg by xx.s) still not been given phq.s about.
Age - well at 50 all these beautiful women are after me. I don't remember that at 20!
The problem is that I don't really know if I'm being more feminine or masculine, and I don't know how to control both aspects. I just do what seems right.
Ah, lightbulb.
Women who say "I will be feminine for the right man". Of course that makes perfect sense.
Unfortunately it just dawned on me that that is the point of keeping women as "low social status".
I think I've just come to the realisation that women can pick one of two options. 1) Feel sexual attraction to men 2) have equal social status.
Great content, Alexander! Very well done, men really needs to hear this!!
Married 40+ years. The game never ends. Masculine frame serves you in every aspect of life. If you get complacent, so does she and eventually the bedroom dies. Treat her like a queen and she'll treat you like a peasant and cheat on you. Stay frosty gents.
Is it not tiring? Constant frost.
Hey mate, if I had a male friend who I had to think, double-think & triple-think about how they viewed me as a man, I wouldn’t bother having them as a friend, we just know whether a guy is a good bloke or not, so why would I bother jumping through an endless amount of hoops just to “prove” to a woman that I’m “maintaining my masculinity”? I agree with many of your clips, but this one is just not right, in my opinion.
Women are not men.
Well said on the whole. "masculinity is not a zero-sum game" - yes! We ALL, men and women, embody positive and negative aspects of masculinity and femininity.
I treated my first girlfriend poorly because I got cocky since she complimented me 24/7, which was love bombing on her part. So we both manipulated each other. She eventually left me, even though I was above her, she thought I was a perfect 10/10 and let a lot of my mistakes slide, until they got to be excessive. I’m surprised she stuck around for as long as she did, she had trauma and feared that I was gonna leave her for a better option… it was all a mess
I would rather stay single and sad than to sacrifice my sanity and time 😒
Mate, I’m loving the channel
Say, there's a woman in a room with 10 men, and all 10 men are telling her how beautiful she is, and how amazing she is, and they are lighting her cigarette and buying her drinks, and just treating her like gold. Then, all of a sudden, in walks the 11th man, he takes one look at her and says, "Hey, how ya doin'," turns his back on her, and starts talking to his boys. That's the guy she wants to be with - the 11th man - not any of the 10 men who were treating her well all night. But the one guy that couldn't care less, why? Because, for some reason, women don't want nice, they don't want real, they don't want to be treated well. I mean, not at first and sometimes not ever, and I think that's crazy, and I refuse to play that game, get a girl by pretending I don't like her. I wanna be with a woman who's real, who digs it when I'm nice to her, who doesn't see that as weakness or take me for granted when I tell her that I think she is more amazing than anything else in the entire world. But, unfortunately, most women aren't like that. They say they are, deep down inside they want to be, but... they're not.
I think this is something to do with human evolution. For millions of years human females were under the sheer dominance of human males and only during last 40, 50 years they starting to become independent their own. They may not show it you openly, but in their DNA they have the tendency of attraction towards a dominant males. This could be a reason why for many women rough sex, abasement, bad treatments, disrespect, disregard from men are secret attraction triggers.
"So, I know I'm messed up and pretty low value. If you can't see that, how can I trust you?"
Do women who want to be in a relationship have to understand and play mental mind games to get men? Does this insanity go both ways?
I have told my wife multiple times that men do not want to be known as sweet. I recall at poolside in. Marriott property, a woman overhearing me telling my wife, make up your mind regarding dinner selection. The woman said “happy wife, happy life”. She was shocked when I replied “not in my house”. I
She wants to be baffled by your Brilliance and bewildered by your ignorance
At the core of the behavior is hypergamy.
Don’t exhibit behaviors that would suggest her time is more valuable than your time, or that she as a person is more valuable than you are. It’s that simple.
Example: when her beauty is brought up in discussion, make her out to be rather ordinary in attractiveness, even if it isn’t true to you. If she’s drop dead gorgeous, don’t give her ANY free attention and make sure she knows that her lack of depth in other components of attractiveness is taking away from her overall score.
And if you ever get a tee’d up opportunity to score her 1-10 to her face… make sure it’s believable.. give her that non-existent “7”… which indicates a modest compliment at best.
I also disagree that the 'paradigm can be locked in' - not if they're constantly finding fault, and always looking to 'trade up'.
I'm glad my husband is a gentleman.
Alex, do a video on women who like femme boys like Harry Styles and Kpop stars.
Fame, money, status
We have to be multidimensional and entertaining, but they feel they don't have to be anything except good looking...and some don't think they even have to be that. It's become a running gag. I played that game for nearly 30 years and I don't have time to waste on that crap; unassailable psychological fact or not, I don't have to deal with it if I just go about my life. I'm finally free. If you want to enjoy the benefits I have, YOU are going to have to earn them, because I already have
All of this works if you pass the looks threshold.
Guess my asymmetric ugly ass is out!
This sounds so dam complicated and tiring only to win a liability at the end of it all.
Treat em like you don’t need them.
I won't obsess over her. I'll treat her nicely with respect. I'll treat her normally as I do others. I'll let her know my life doesn't revolve around her. If she doesn't like that, I'll gladly leave her.
You are confusing cause and effect here because there is a key component that isn't being considered: the guy's looks. Men are not "needy" or "indifferent" in a vacuum, good-looking men are used to being chased and have spare options, so they don't need to be clingy. A sub-5 dude is needy because he has no options, every iota of a chance is to save his life, no positive reinforcement throughout his entire life, hence the obsession with external validation... the root cause of these issues run much deeper than one's personality (which is also developed through life based upon his looks btw) or "choice" of being needy or not, most don't ever get to have that choice...
Inexperienced (usually young) and low quality women (some don't know any better and fail to learn) are mistaking the "bad boy" and "dark triad" traits and behaviours as indicators of competence, especially arrogance for confidence and self-worth/high value in men. It has been like that since I can remember, just more prevalent and/or louder with the social media and hookup culture on the rise.
I don't think they're totally wrong. Who is more likely to cower from the home invader?
@@simontmn many woman mistake kindness for weakness, so do criminals and bullies. Often a fatal mistake.
Thanks a lot for your videos! You should write a Book to expose the whole female psychology to the guys (or at least a summary with this Knowledge on a PDF for Download etc.). A lot german Content creators refer to your videos. So shout-out to you around the globe.
You can only do that if you're good looking. Normal guys won't be able to pull this off
In psychology this phenomenon is called “anxious attachment style dysregulation”. This is NOT actually normal, even if it is common. Most women don’t have this attachment style. Please don’t walk away from this video with any bad ideas. Just google attachment style psychology if you ACTUALLY want to learn about these dysregulations.
Thats fairly reasonable and wayyyy healthier than what I've been doing all this time.
I think this also really plays into the validation a woman gets from changing a man into something that he originally wasn't. Bad boy that she tames etc.
You’re confusing women with the modern adult female child again
I keep realizing this more and more. Women are children with adult privileges. But they need to be looked after and guide and sometimes told exactly what to do.
i wonder if Alexander stopped for a moment to realize how much he it made it look like how much work women require.