Thanks for indirectly reminding me, "If you wouldnt say it to a close friend in the same situation, don't say it to yourself" ❤ (I know, easier said than done) Awkward Mom rocks!
I'm 70 btw so been there...NOW YOU'VE GOT IT!! Wish I would have shown myself more grace when I was a young mom. AND let people help when they offered instead of thinking that I had to do everything myself. As I sit here now by myself (kids grown & gone-husband in heaven) in my perfectly clean home it does not bring me as much joy & happiness as when my life was full, chaotic & messy. Enjoy your 'now'; whatever that looks like. God's peace to your heart.
I was thinking the same thing. One day, my house will be clean, but also possibly lonely. I compare it to talking to my dad on the phone. He'd call me 2, 3, 4, sometimes as many as 6 times a day. Used to drive me B-A-N-A-N-A-S. But, I would very regularly remind myself, One day I'll wish I could talk to him but won't be able to. I'm so glad I did because now, 11 years after his death, I'd give anything to pick up the phone and hear his voice. Live in the now, 100% agree.
These are my words exactly! (Age 1 year off) brought tears to my eyes at the accuracy. 🥺 Oh to be able to go back and enjoy life more, when the house was full of chaos (and family)😢
I'm 67 years old. I can say with certainty that this is one of the most important videos anyone has posted. We all go into survival mode at certain times of our lives for a variety of reasons. There have been many times in my life when getting out of bed was difficult. The only thing we can do is endure and do the next thing. If the next thing is doing the dishes, then that is what we do. If the next thing is something else, then we do that. Survival mode is an important skill. You are wise beyond your years.
This is a timeless message that you delivered exceptionally well. My daughter is your age; once she cried to me while going through a hard time as a working mom of a one-year-old while her partner struggled with his health, "And people expect me to do self-care too!" An old bit of Flylady wisdom fell out of my mouth. "Honey, a load a day of laundry so you can get dressed every morning is self care." I am happy to say they both made it through their hard time and are now doing well as a couple. Speaking only for myself as a Flybaby long ago I added making my bed to getting dressed. It is one of my anchoring habits. At the end of bad days (being fired or my husband's quad bypass surgery come to mind as two of the worst days) when I finally arrived at bedtime, my made bed said "Look, someone took care of you. You!" For others it may be something else, like an evening face washing routine or a 20 minute tea break after the children are in bed, but that daily, self-selected act of self-care is equally important to daily dishwashing. Love your work Ariel! You are a wise voice for homemakers of all kinds. 🎉
Girl. I have been on survivor mode for years. Like 5 years ago when I had a full knee replacement. I work full time. I have a 30 yr old with Down’s syndrome. Don’t have time for anything ❤
Thank you, I'm so tired from entertaining my 3,5 year old for the past week. I vacuumed and I'm laying in bed. Tomorrow I'll takle something else now I'll be resting
As a middle-aged mother of adult children and no grandkids in sight, I would trade my clean house for time with my little kids. It's a season that never returns!
Full Fibromyalgia since COVID and partial caregiver for older husband, survival mode is a real chronic thing indefinitely... Surviving survival mode here. Sanitary is Priority. Fabulous to hear this validated with grace and compassion. Thanks bunches!
You’re so right. As a mom of three grown sons I have to say, when they were small it was crazy chaotic. And those days go by so quickly. Just have fun with your family and don’t stress it. No one is looking and if they are FORGET THEM. ❤️😀❤️
So true ❤ i think it's one of those things that doesn't actually hit until its too late. My boys are teenagers now and I have lots more time to clean but I just miss when they wanted to play all day 😢❤
It’s been kitten season in animal rescue for 2 months and I’m sure I’m not alone when I say I’m tired and I am in survival mode in my house, too. I needed this video. Thank you ❤❤❤😊😊😊
This video is timely. I've been struggling with a lot of anxiety that's turning into depression and I feel like I can't keep up with living. Right now I'm focusing on going to work and not making a huge mistake while I'm there, and then I come home, go to bed, and try not to cry. You made me tear up with this video, in a good way. I'm hoping today I can get the kitchen into a usable state.
Even just give yourself 10 minutes of pecking at the kitchen will really help. If you’re not sure where to start, begin by getting all the dishes into a pile near the sink and wash them, and then putting anything that is trash in the bin. Depression and anxiety is a jerk, but you can do this and you deserve to have a space that makes you feel good. Also if you want some reading on specifically this, I super recommend the book “How to Keep House While Drowning” by KC Davis. You’re going to be ok, even if all you can do today is wash one fork. You’ll get there. ❤
@@KTCoopethank you for the kind advice. I have dealt with depression for a years now and one tip that’s really helped among others was piling up the clutter into one stack/pile. Get everything that doesn’t belong in the kitchen out into the living room in a box for you to deal with later. Shove that box in the cabinet under the tv if you have to 😂 I follow everything you said and it works well for me. The remaining miscellaneous stuff left on a table I also pile up and stick in a corner on the counter so the table at least is cleared up for me to eat
@@godstan3231 I’m glad I could help! And I agree on boxes. I have a couple of ‘chaos baskets’ that things go in (or go to their home if I’m walking past it on the way to the basket) and then once a week or so I carry them about to take stuff where it goes. Or grab things from them as I pass. It took a while to build the habit but it’s been helping :)
And if anyone does judge you - I think that says a lot about what they think about themselves. They're likely really hard on and mean to themselves too. In my experience - contented, happy people aren't mean to other people. So if anyone ever is, we need to remember to take a breath, and think "It's not me, it's them".
This is the mode I go into when we start homeschooling. Bare, and I mean BARE bones Mon-Friday. Like, the kitchen so we can eat and the table has to go from school to dinner and end the day clean. They have to tidy up their own rooms nightly so I can get to them, and thankfully at 7 & 9 they are old enough to really help. Saturdays we hit the floors at all and I usually have 4 loads of laundry (I end up doing laundry day too, thankfully on old machines that are done FAST). But Sunday? Leave me alone. There are more important things. You got this! And if shorter videos mean more of you, so you don't have to hunt for stock videos/images, I love that too. This felt so, so very raw and real!
Thanks so much for being truly genuine about this topic. Burnout, survival cleaning has been what I've been doing without really realizing it for the last 6 months or so. (And surely I've been here before.)
I've been in this survival mode for the last 6 years with 4 kids back to back. I can't wait for my youngest who's extremely clingy to go to school in a couple of years so that I'll finally have the clean home and closets I've been waiting for! I've also been decluttering on along the way but it's hard with 4 kids constantly needing something or a virus spreading through the house causing chaos and more mess!
When I had very small children it was SO overwhelming! I learned to be okay with the minimum! Vacuum, because I hated having a dirty floor (and babies crawled around on them). Clear off tables, so we could eat... Keep couches clean and clear so we could rest and relax at the end of the day..... And I knew that someday I would have the energy to tackle baseboards and closets but that day wasn't then. Lol Great advice for moms!
Believe me when I say that when your first child leaves home, you will be left heart broken and will be wishing for the survival mode days, the messy days. So just take it easy and love every day with your little ones. It really does go by so fast.
Thanks, Ariel! In 2008, I had abdominal surgery after a long illness, and I hear you. I remember sending my husband to Walmart to buy a long handled swiffer and cleaning wipes. I could sit in a chair with my swiffer and dust tables as I recovered. I could clean hard surfaces with the wipes. Any little bit helps. Take care, everyone!❤❤❤
Good advice Ariel. Thanks I’m an empty nester and my house isn’t spotless but it’s tidy. If people want to judge me bc there’s dust somewhere then they can dust it themselves!😂
Ariel, I just love your videos. You're so pleasant, funny, sweet & mostly.....DOWN TO EARTH. 🌎 I am a 55 year old GiGi raising an 8yr old grandson & 3yr old granddaughter. I love the tidy tango, (and so does the 3 yr old :) I love the music, & I just love listening to, watching, and cleaning along with your positive & encouraging videos. God bless you & your family always. ❤🙏
In my first trimester and the fatigue of growing a human and dealing with a toddler is REAL. Thanks for this reminder that we all go through times when the bare minimum is ok ❤️
I just noticed you have a cat! How have I never saw 🐈⬛? Thanks for this video. I’m married, 4 boys, fibromyalgia, thyroid issues and a teacher of 3-4 year olds. Who cares at this point if anything gets cleaned!! So spot cleaning is what I’ve been doing for a few years now!!
Start with the areas that matter the most to you. For me, it's the kitchen and the bathroom since I can't stand a mess in there and it can spread germs to the rest of the house. Everything else can wait till you feel better.
I agree but want to point out that the cancer spots like cabinets, closets, and basement / garages need to be organized as a priority so there is aplace for clutter to go. That and on garbage day a big black bag loop around the house helps. I am always looking at my shirts shoes, and other crap to put in it.
Hello Ariel. You got this right. In 2022, I had six family deaths after the other, including mother, which means that I had to make funeral arrangements, too. It has been hard to clean and declutter my home while getting through the depression, working, and other responsibilities. Survival mode is tough enough so that has to be good enough! Love you, my beautiful friend. 💋
My approach to cleaning/organising changed drastically when, at 37 and after 14 years of marriage, I realised I was the only non autistic and/or adhd-er in our family. Now my systems are more ND friendly, and I finally feel on top of this. Clutterbug really helped. And our home is now for us and not for some fantasy family. Embracing the era you're in, doing the bare minimum, and just rolling with it .. where was this video 10+ years ago. But I'm still so glad I found you now ❤
I'm tearing up. I have a chronic illness and two very young children. I live in a foreign country with no family and an unsupportive partner. We rent and are subject to house inspections every 3 months. The owner's standards are high, and we just failed an inspection. He wants us to redo it all in two weeks - just enough time for my family to tear the house apart and for me to have to deep clean it all over again. I know I should be grateful he hasn't kicked us out because we are in a housing crisis, but my sanity and sense of self-worth have taken a beating. Thank you for reminding me that I'm not a failure, I'm not alone, and that it won't be like this forever. 😭
Oooh...that is awful trap! I mean...is your parner not going to help you at all before the next inspection?...is he ready to danger your family with homelessness? Perhaps you could ask him to do some task like taking kids away for 2 days (back home for the night) while you deep clean the house? That is the minimum request in a situation like this!!!
Great message this week Ariel. My inner voice is always nasty to me. But I'm sweet and kind to others. 😅 "Be you're own friend." Is an important message.
I don't have kids but these videos are still so helpful. Your videos like this are so inspiring and motivating and I appreciate you so much. And to anyone out there struggling with whatever it is in your life right now, it will get better. You are so strong and I know you can do it!
I’ve been in the children season and the death of a spouse season and after 3 years I still struggle to get past survival mode. Your message is needed, sometimes we just need permission to not give ourselves a bad time and the tools to survive. And eventually we can take the baby steps back to our individual normals. Thank you!
Thank you so much for your gift and I'm sorry for this difficult time you've been in, I hope you're able to find things in life that bring you joy during a hard season. And yes - surviving is the most important thing even if that means the bed doesn't get made. ❤️
I feel like you gave me an emotional hug. Thank you :) It's back to school coming for my two youngest kiddos... work is stressful.. I'm a pharmacist at CVS and flu season is starting need i say more ha .. my mom had a real nose dive health wise through June and she's holding but struggling.. I feel like i'm drowning emotionally :( I do want a clean space as i know it always feels amazing but it gets undone quickly.. can take a lot of time. Anyway... just thank you for the support and I'm here for you too! Part of inspiring me... is your journey to figure this out as you go.. it changes.. and there is ebb and flow.. and it's ok. You look great by the way :) I can see you are investing in you and your health and that in and of itself takes time and energy
I had that perfect season of a clean home for a very short time until my granddaughter and her baby moved in about a year ago. I feel like I’m starting all over again, where I was 40 years ago, but am enjoying this precious time when I think of the alternative. My once pristine living room is now a toddler play land. 😂
Yes yes and hell yes to everything you said. I have only got three rules: rubbish should always get picked up and thrown away, dirty clothes must find their way to the laundry and dirty dishes must get back to the kitchen. If the floor isn’t swept or the dishes aren’t washed right now, the world won’t fall apart but the house will be much more organised and easier to tidy when I finally get the chance to dedicate time to it.
I love this video this is me survival mode for 30 years I started flylady system in 2018 that is when I learn about decluttering ( I had 4 children) you spend all your time seeing each individual child though all their milestones which I loved every minute of it Which takes a lot of time 🙏🏻🙌🏻❤️ I’am Blessed ! 😇
Survival means different things at different ages and stages. ATM, I'm in survival mode. Physical injuries mean i can't stand for long. I've no energy, either. I fall back on my Flylady routines. Just the morning one, to be truthful. Wash and dress, dishes and make bed. And any chores l can do seated, or without lifting stuff, or standing very long. It won't be forever. Thankyou for the reminder.
I have hypothyroidism and I struggle with this all the time. I've learned on my good days to give it all I got to try and catch up. Some good days I can go all day and others maybe a couple hours. I've learned to just accept that it is what it is. Love your video's and I turn on the tidy tango on my good days- that helps so much.
...As someone older... You may not fully realize the Positive Impact this Video will have on Many, many individuals..... who are struggling, .. in one way or another..( depending on ones' situation/ circumstances, etc.) I have been there... " in Survival Mode... " at different times/ points in my Life.. .. I wish to Thank You , for a Timekess Message of Grace . Of Compassion, and reminding us about " Compassion for Ones Self " ... that Life will take Twists and Turns,and it IS Important to remind ourselves that " perfection is an illusion..." Whether it be our Home/ Relationships/ ...the list goes on. In a time when everything feels " hurried and rushed " ..( this was not how it was when I raising my daughters.. No electronics...there was Time for Life. ) .. this Message offers Solace, Hope, ,Grace .... to take the small steps to get to the other the other side of " The Overwhelm " ... 🙌🏻 " Start where you are. Use what you have .. Do what you can " ~ Aurthur Ashe
I’m in this season of life and if there’s one thing that’s made my life SO much easier, it’s the Kaboom toilet system. It’s a little plastic piece that sits in the back of your toilet and filters the water through cleaning tabs before going into the bowl. It doesn’t erode the back of your toilet, and it cleans SO well. I HATE cleaning my toilet. I have hard water and I used to have to clean my toilet a couple times a week. It’s been installed for a month and I’ve done no scrubbing. It’s saved my sanity on more than one occasion. Probably no one will see this comment. But if one person sees this, tries it, and it makes their life easier, then I’ll be happy.
Oh my! If this isn't me right now!!! I've had to "move" 3 times in less than 2 years. I am finally in my last journey: unpacking in my forever home. I used to 'collect' boxes, for just in case - but, if I never see another box, that will suit me just fine. I honestly have no idea where anything might be hiding - and wonder how long it will be before I ever find a vast majority of my household items. Then the thought of where they are going to go once they are found! On the plus side, it feels good to know I'm starting from scratch - so I'll be able to (hopefully) organize everything - properly (haha). In the meantime, have to keep watching Ariel to keep me going. :-)
I have a 5yr old and 13 month old and we were ALL sick for MONTHS and then I had two birthday parties, a work event, guests visiting, Christmas, and now it’s winter break. I own my own business and my husband works a lot and is gone a lot and I am the one who does most of the cleaning and organizing and taking care of things so it gets super overwhelming!! I have been doing the bare minimum and any time I have a little extra time or energy or something is really nagging me, I find a way to get something done. Slowly but surely, things improve, but I do find it stressful still. And I definitely think we need to give ourselves a break and not compare ourselves to picture perfect kitchens and living rooms we come across on tv or social media. It’s okay not to have ours look like that all the time. I live here. My kids outgrow clothes and stop playing with certain toys. We go through seasonal changes and don’t need everything all the time. So it’s hard but I know if I do my best it’s enough.
Every season of your life is exactly THAT. And the only constant in life is change. It seems like cliches, but it is because they are all truths. And your friends don’t care about your mess, as long as your living room isn’t knee deep in trash. I’m 63 and my kids are grown and it’s just me and my husband. Our house is always clean, and so is my car. Actually, my car is a 2018 and has hardly any miles on it and still looks brand new. So you’re right, the time will come where it won’t be groundhog’s day every day. With every toy out, every dish dirty, and two loads of laundry that needs to be done. The only thing I will say, is you will miss having your little kids, you’ll miss the extra wet kisses, and the silly giggles. And just the chaos of kids playing. Everything is a trade off. So try to embrace your babies now and all the stuff that goes with having them. Enjoy every moment of them growing up so you won’t have any regrets. And when your nest is empty, enjoy having those clean and organized spaces that you always wanted.
So many people needed to hear this. I have accepted in recent years that my house will probably be relatively messy for the next decade 😂 I would rather spend time with my kids! Eventually they will be grown and my house will be clean, but I think by then I will miss cleaning the little plastic cups and stepping over the socks and toys.
So many times over the years I have thought of how folks survived during the Dust Bowl years. That was mostly in Oklahoma, I think, but I've read that dust was blowing even as far as New York, too. I was a stay-at-home mom with 2 small kids. And I managed our resources so that Hubby could attend college until he landed a good job. And that worked out for us! Then I worked & had my school-age kids to care for. And I took night courses, too. Our agreement had been that he would get college first, then I could go to college, too. But then my husband decided no work around the house was his job. And then he quit mowing, and finally he quit having the antifreeze in the car checked or replaced every year. I didn't realize all of that until the engine blew up. But my point is we have - especially now - a lot of extra stress and worries and concerns. There were a zillion back during my extra-long troubled marriage - For example, I had more than 8 brushes with death in 4 years (2 were confirmed by experts) - and money was often tight and I had lots to do. Now I'm a great-grandma but lately I've learned a bit more about how God wants to handle that for us. He doesn't expect us to, He expects us to entrust it to Him. When we butt out of handling problems - with other people and more, if we do the required responsibilities but we don't shoulder the burdens of fixing it all - then He makes some serious progress in fixing all problems, big and small. But during the Dust Bowl, they had no "Dust Bowl" history to compare to. There hadn't been enough rain for the longest time so plants died off and the winds blew all the danged time, blowing the dust all over, even through the cracks around windows & doors, into the house, into their eyes, into everywhere. Some people gave up. That's never the right solution, but I can see their point. So when things are just too hard, I imagine for a moment I'm back in the Dust Bowl times & places. And I'd rather be here. It feels like a relief to be here.
Such good advice, to remember it's only temporary.❤ We all go through this at some point in our life and it really helps to know this too will pass and we'll be up to conquering cleaning the oven again someday. Until then, just do what we really need to do. Thanks Ariel, great video ❤
Thank you so much for this video, it came like a present to me. In fact I *am* chronically ill plus: we had to put our beloved cat of 15 years to sleep just 3 days ago and I just look at my apartment and feel nothing but overwhelmed. Cleaning normally helps me clear my head but I am too tired and weak for it. So, survival mode it is! Thank you again, you came as a friend to me today.
Condolences to you - sorry to hear about the loss of your sweet kitty cat. It's hard. I'm glad this video was helpful to you. I have a feeling it will help many people. This is a nice, positive community to interact with. All the best to you.
Ariel,Thank you for a caring video. Survival mode is a thing for me too. Years back I thought about which house “ chores” are needed to try n get done every day. Dishes,start some laundry mountain load,stinky garbages,round up recycling,and clean / scoop out the kitty litter. I’m also trying to teach my hubby to notice things that need to be done,then do them. Works for me also. I like doing “ Waitress Hands” Never leave a room without empty hands. Your children can be taught this also. Notice and help. This will eventually help to lessen your Mental Load . Team Ariel ! If you start planting the Notice Seeds now,They will grow to be huge ,helpful,happy,humans. Hugs from Canada 🇨🇦
Thank you for this reminder. I'm going through perimenopause and it's depleting my energy levels. I have told myself many of the unkind things you went over in the first part of the video. No more. I'm going to give myself grace.❤
Your video spoke to me on a deeper level. I have been feeling so guilty that I can't do a deep cleaning of my home this summer but you've made me feel better. I'm in survival mode and I should give myself some grace. Thank you for always posting wonderful content
I have a number system that works for me. For example if the table needs to be cleared off but I just can’t find a chunk of time to do it I put 5 things away every time I walk by and aim for things that need to go in the direction I’m headed. It takes maybe one extra minute and is manageable. Also tends to me doing more or just finishing. If I’m in the kitchen and need to let the dog in and I walk by the table I grab the 5 things let the dog in and put them away on my way back to the kitchen. It works for me
Started crying not even 35 seconds in 😅 thank you for this reminder. Baby is 4 months old and going through major sleep regression, husband is out of work and has been sick for almost 2 weeks. My toddler is going through a potty training regression. Every corner of my house is cluttered and it feels like I'm surrounded by failure. it's hard to get even the bare minimum done sometimes. Knowing I'm not alone and this is just a tough season that won't last forever helps a bit.
I have to remind myself of this all the time - this will pass. It won't always be this hard! Easier days are ahead. Our words are powerful, so speak kindly to yourself! The funniest thing about it all is that one day we will look back and miss the days when our house was messy and filled with our young beautiful babies. Well get through this ❤️
Thank you!! Much-needed reminder to let go. Also, in our house we do not allow art projects on the dining room table so we don't have to clear them away for meals. The kids can do art on the coffee table or up in their rooms.
Love your videos. I’m an empty nester now and love all your different investigations of cleaning routines like Fly Lady and Clean Mama. You’re right … the dust bunnies will still be there but one day this baby season will be over. My kids are 25,23 and 21 and they didn’t remember my house when they were little, but I remember the snuggles and the fun times. You got this.
Thank you for this. I’m single, don’t have any children or grandchildren & live alone & still find cleaning my house a struggle at times. I’m especially finding it hard at the moment, as I suffer from summer SAD & it’s so hard to get motivated to do things, especially when it’s hot. (Most houses & some shops in the UK don’t have air con)
❤ Thank you! Having a tough pregnancy and recovery, then a clingy girl....it has made cleaning impossible. I finally got things done yesterday. And I felt so much better. The reminder that this is a season was really helpful!
This is such a nice and thoughtful video. What really wears me down emotionally and then if course I also feel physically exhausted, is the fact that I always seem to be doing something and the apartment is always a mess. Like, I can’t even enjoy the fruits of my struggle. I will focus on an area one day just to find it just as chaotic the next. My children aren’t even toddlers anymore but I am serioysly burnt out. Argh…
The last two years have been tough. We moved in March and I wanted to do everything better in the new apartment. Now I can't even manage to dust or mop the floor. I always feel bad, but I just can't do it. Thank you for the video and best wishes from Germany.
We are only one person and we need to give ourselves a little grace! Life can get crazy. And just when you think you've reached your highest level of crazy, it gets even crazier next month!! Lol.
Love your video's! Rocked on the tiny tango this week! Would love to see a video on a week of your cleaning habits as in 10 minute tidy after diner etc. Keep up the great work!
Thank you! I needed this. Crying watching this. I've been struggling with being a wife, mom and homemaker since I had my first born and felt doomed with a 2nd on the way.😅❤
I feel like this right now, and I put this video on because I LOVE your videos and I immediately felt like I could get up and get things done. We spent all day at the beach yesterday for a family reunion with my husbands family. I am so spent and I have to clean and put away all the beach stuff on top of the regular chores. Thanks for the motivation and for body doubling with me. ❤
Yay for grace! It's easier to show others grace if we give ourselves grace as well. I like the tasks you prioritize in this video and in your tidy tango. 💕
I love this! , being kind but practical too. I have a chronic illness & some weeks are better than others. I try to do a little cleaning each day & get it done first thing when I have most energy. Right now it’s the summer holidays in the UK & the kids are off, plus it’s hot & we don’t have AC so the bare minimum is good enough right now x
We just moved (my husband and I have a 2 and almost 4 year old) and I’m 6 months pregnant. It’s like you spoke the words from my brain how I’ve been feeling lately 😢
When I was younger, and my kids were small, I heard this a lot. People were always telling me not to worry about the house and just relax. What I kept hearing was that there was something wrong with me because a clean, orderly house was important to me. Now, I know that they were wrong. It’s OK to crave order. A dirty messy house is stressful. I understand that some people need permission to let things go. But it’s also OK when order and cleanliness are important to you. And we shouldn’t tell our friends to just relax when it is something that’s important to them. People made me feel like I was a bad mother because I wanted these things and I worked hard for them.
I needed to hear this so much! And I genuinely thought that I was the only person that got random bugs in ghe house. Thank you fir making me feel not alone❤
A few years ago, I was struggling with a few chronic illnesses, and I was incapable of keeping up with my house. I opted to focus on doing a load of dishes a day. Then my sister came every weekend and cleaned for five hours every Saturday. As I felt better, I took on one item at a time. First I made my bed daily, which helped my mental health. Then I started doing my laundry. Then I added ten minutes a day, vacuuming, dusting, or scrubbing a toilet. I feel a lot better these days. When I clean 45 minutes a day, my house is spotless. I don’t have kids, but I have dogs keeping me on my toes. I do the best I can, but sometimes the pain or fatigue comes back. Then I go back to prioritizing my dishes, making my bed, and laundry. I have a method to my madness, and I’ll get to the dusting when I feel better. And if I don’t feel better, I’ll find someone else to help.
My house has always been a cluttered mess due to family giving us things through the years but it's always been clean. I have a 18 month old and its not where I want it to be but as you said, im in the survival cleaning phase. We are wanting a second child so this will probably go on for a few more years but atleast I know that im getting the necessities done.
I'd love a video for those of us, to whom survival mode isn't a short period of time. Chronic illness makes me live in survival mode all the time and it has been years. I am in a little bit of a better place right now, but I still can't clean a lot at one go. Also some stains that have been sitting for years are really hard to get out, which sucks if you are renting like I am. I am a clean person, I just can't clean a lot.
Ok that's great and all but..... can we talk about that white chair!?😂 talk about the coziest spot in the house! If i had that in my living room i would spend all day "working" 😂😂 thanks for the motivation to get in gear this morning, we can always count on you! ❤❤🎉🎉
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My dad always said you can't worry about ironing your shirt when your pants are on fire. 😂😂
Im taking that 😂
Love it ! 😂
Thanks for indirectly reminding me, "If you wouldnt say it to a close friend in the same situation, don't say it to yourself" ❤ (I know, easier said than done) Awkward Mom rocks!
Thanks for directly reminding me ir your indirect recollection....❤❤❤
I'm 70 btw so been there...NOW YOU'VE GOT IT!! Wish I would have shown myself more grace when I was a young mom. AND let people help when they offered instead of thinking that I had to do everything myself.
As I sit here now by myself (kids grown & gone-husband in heaven) in my perfectly clean home it does not bring me as much joy & happiness as when my life was full, chaotic & messy. Enjoy your 'now'; whatever that looks like. God's peace to your heart.
"Enjoy your 'now'; whatever that looks like." Wise words. Thank you 😊💕
I was thinking the same thing. One day, my house will be clean, but also possibly lonely.
I compare it to talking to my dad on the phone. He'd call me 2, 3, 4, sometimes as many as 6 times a day. Used to drive me B-A-N-A-N-A-S. But, I would very regularly remind myself, One day I'll wish I could talk to him but won't be able to. I'm so glad I did because now, 11 years after his death, I'd give anything to pick up the phone and hear his voice. Live in the now, 100% agree.
Great advice. Thank you. 🤍
-34yo mom of 8
These are my words exactly! (Age 1 year off) brought tears to my eyes at the accuracy. 🥺
Oh to be able to go back and enjoy life more, when the house was full of chaos (and family)😢
Thank you so so much . I need to remember this more often.
I'm 67 years old. I can say with certainty that this is one of the most important videos anyone has posted. We all go into survival mode at certain times of our lives for a variety of reasons. There have been many times in my life when getting out of bed was difficult. The only thing we can do is endure and do the next thing. If the next thing is doing the dishes, then that is what we do. If the next thing is something else, then we do that. Survival mode is an important skill. You are wise beyond your years.
I’m using that - “survival mode is an important skill” Thank you!!!
Thank you!!
This is a timeless message that you delivered exceptionally well. My daughter is your age; once she cried to me while going through a hard time as a working mom of a one-year-old while her partner struggled with his health, "And people expect me to do self-care too!" An old bit of Flylady wisdom fell out of my mouth. "Honey, a load a day of laundry so you can get dressed every morning is self care." I am happy to say they both made it through their hard time and are now doing well as a couple. Speaking only for myself as a Flybaby long ago I added making my bed to getting dressed. It is one of my anchoring habits. At the end of bad days (being fired or my husband's quad bypass surgery come to mind as two of the worst days) when I finally arrived at bedtime, my made bed said "Look, someone took care of you. You!" For others it may be something else, like an evening face washing routine or a 20 minute tea break after the children are in bed, but that daily, self-selected act of self-care is equally important to daily dishwashing. Love your work Ariel! You are a wise voice for homemakers of all kinds. 🎉
Making the bed is being your own best friend on days like that! Excellent example! 😀
I'm chronically ill and can't keep up. Uplifting video Thank you.
Just do what you can when you can, a little done is better than none.
Girl. I have been on survivor mode for years. Like 5 years ago when I had a full knee replacement. I work full time. I have a 30 yr old with Down’s syndrome. Don’t have time for anything ❤
Then be kind to yourself. I don’t have nearly as much going on and I’m still NOT on survival mode. Everything is a mess. You’re doing great! 🤍
Thank you, I'm so tired from entertaining my 3,5 year old for the past week. I vacuumed and I'm laying in bed. Tomorrow I'll takle something else now I'll be resting
As a middle-aged mother of adult children and no grandkids in sight, I would trade my clean house for time with my little kids. It's a season that never returns!
That’s beautiful 😻
Full Fibromyalgia since COVID and partial caregiver for older husband, survival mode is a real chronic thing indefinitely... Surviving survival mode here. Sanitary is Priority. Fabulous to hear this validated with grace and compassion. Thanks bunches!
I needed this today. Hard balancing being present with kids and figuring out what truly needs to get done in the house.
You’re so right. As a mom of three grown sons I have to say, when they were small it was crazy chaotic. And those days go by so quickly. Just have fun with your family and don’t stress it. No one is looking and if they are FORGET THEM. ❤️😀❤️
So true ❤ i think it's one of those things that doesn't actually hit until its too late. My boys are teenagers now and I have lots more time to clean but I just miss when they wanted to play all day 😢❤
Clean enough to be healthy, dirty enough to be happy.....the " we live here" look.
Thanks for sharing
« Our expectations are TOO much » Thank you 🥹
It’s been kitten season in animal rescue for 2 months and I’m sure I’m not alone when I say I’m tired and I am in survival mode in my house, too. I needed this video. Thank you ❤❤❤😊😊😊
This video is timely. I've been struggling with a lot of anxiety that's turning into depression and I feel like I can't keep up with living. Right now I'm focusing on going to work and not making a huge mistake while I'm there, and then I come home, go to bed, and try not to cry. You made me tear up with this video, in a good way. I'm hoping today I can get the kitchen into a usable state.
Even just give yourself 10 minutes of pecking at the kitchen will really help. If you’re not sure where to start, begin by getting all the dishes into a pile near the sink and wash them, and then putting anything that is trash in the bin. Depression and anxiety is a jerk, but you can do this and you deserve to have a space that makes you feel good.
Also if you want some reading on specifically this, I super recommend the book “How to Keep House While Drowning” by KC Davis.
You’re going to be ok, even if all you can do today is wash one fork. You’ll get there. ❤
@@KTCoopethank you for the kind advice. I have dealt with depression for a years now and one tip that’s really helped among others was piling up the clutter into one stack/pile. Get everything that doesn’t belong in the kitchen out into the living room in a box for you to deal with later. Shove that box in the cabinet under the tv if you have to 😂 I follow everything you said and it works well for me. The remaining miscellaneous stuff left on a table I also pile up and stick in a corner on the counter so the table at least is cleared up for me to eat
@@godstan3231 I’m glad I could help! And I agree on boxes. I have a couple of ‘chaos baskets’ that things go in (or go to their home if I’m walking past it on the way to the basket) and then once a week or so I carry them about to take stuff where it goes. Or grab things from them as I pass. It took a while to build the habit but it’s been helping :)
And if anyone does judge you - I think that says a lot about what they think about themselves. They're likely really hard on and mean to themselves too. In my experience - contented, happy people aren't mean to other people. So if anyone ever is, we need to remember to take a breath, and think "It's not me, it's them".
This is the mode I go into when we start homeschooling. Bare, and I mean BARE bones Mon-Friday. Like, the kitchen so we can eat and the table has to go from school to dinner and end the day clean. They have to tidy up their own rooms nightly so I can get to them, and thankfully at 7 & 9 they are old enough to really help. Saturdays we hit the floors at all and I usually have 4 loads of laundry (I end up doing laundry day too, thankfully on old machines that are done FAST). But Sunday? Leave me alone. There are more important things. You got this! And if shorter videos mean more of you, so you don't have to hunt for stock videos/images, I love that too. This felt so, so very raw and real!
Thanks so much for being truly genuine about this topic. Burnout, survival cleaning has been what I've been doing without really realizing it for the last 6 months or so. (And surely I've been here before.)
I've been in this survival mode for the last 6 years with 4 kids back to back. I can't wait for my youngest who's extremely clingy to go to school in a couple of years so that I'll finally have the clean home and closets I've been waiting for! I've also been decluttering on along the way but it's hard with 4 kids constantly needing something or a virus spreading through the house causing chaos and more mess!
When I had very small children it was SO overwhelming! I learned to be okay with the minimum! Vacuum, because I hated having a dirty floor (and babies crawled around on them). Clear off tables, so we could eat... Keep couches clean and clear so we could rest and relax at the end of the day..... And I knew that someday I would have the energy to tackle baseboards and closets but that day wasn't then. Lol
Great advice for moms!
Believe me when I say that when your first child leaves home, you will be left heart broken and will be wishing for the survival mode days, the messy days. So just take it easy and love every day with your little ones. It really does go by so fast.
Thanks, Ariel! In 2008, I had abdominal surgery after a long illness, and I hear you. I remember sending my husband to Walmart to buy a long handled swiffer and cleaning wipes. I could sit in a chair with my swiffer and dust tables as I recovered. I could clean hard surfaces with the wipes. Any little bit helps. Take care, everyone!❤❤❤
Good advice Ariel. Thanks I’m an empty nester and my house isn’t spotless but it’s tidy. If people want to judge me bc there’s dust somewhere then they can dust it themselves!😂
Ariel, I just love your videos. You're so pleasant, funny, sweet & mostly.....DOWN TO EARTH. 🌎 I am a 55 year old GiGi raising an 8yr old grandson & 3yr old granddaughter. I love the tidy tango, (and so does the 3 yr old :) I love the music, & I just love listening to, watching, and cleaning along with your positive & encouraging videos. God bless you & your family always. ❤🙏
Wise words from a young woman. I now have a clean home but no children in it. I’d go back to those messy days in a flash if I could.
Thank you! I have been in this zone. You are absolutely correct. Part of me wishes someone would have said this to me 30 years ago.
Love your posts!
In my first trimester and the fatigue of growing a human and dealing with a toddler is REAL. Thanks for this reminder that we all go through times when the bare minimum is ok ❤️
I just noticed you have a cat! How have I never saw 🐈⬛? Thanks for this video. I’m married, 4 boys, fibromyalgia, thyroid issues and a teacher of 3-4 year olds. Who cares at this point if anything gets cleaned!! So spot cleaning is what I’ve been doing for a few years now!!
Start with the areas that matter the most to you. For me, it's the kitchen and the bathroom since I can't stand a mess in there and it can spread germs to the rest of the house. Everything else can wait till you feel better.
I agree but want to point out that the cancer spots like cabinets, closets, and basement / garages need to be organized as a priority so there is aplace for clutter to go. That and on garbage day a big black bag loop around the house helps. I am always looking at my shirts shoes, and other crap to put in it.
Hello Ariel. You got this right. In 2022, I had six family deaths after the other, including mother, which means that I had to make funeral arrangements, too. It has been hard to clean and declutter my home while getting through the depression, working, and other responsibilities. Survival mode is tough enough so that has to be good enough! Love you, my beautiful friend. 💋
My approach to cleaning/organising changed drastically when, at 37 and after 14 years of marriage, I realised I was the only non autistic and/or adhd-er in our family. Now my systems are more ND friendly, and I finally feel on top of this. Clutterbug really helped. And our home is now for us and not for some fantasy family. Embracing the era you're in, doing the bare minimum, and just rolling with it .. where was this video 10+ years ago. But I'm still so glad I found you now ❤
I'm tearing up. I have a chronic illness and two very young children. I live in a foreign country with no family and an unsupportive partner.
We rent and are subject to house inspections every 3 months. The owner's standards are high, and we just failed an inspection. He wants us to redo it all in two weeks - just enough time for my family to tear the house apart and for me to have to deep clean it all over again.
I know I should be grateful he hasn't kicked us out because we are in a housing crisis, but my sanity and sense of self-worth have taken a beating.
Thank you for reminding me that I'm not a failure, I'm not alone, and that it won't be like this forever. 😭
Hang in there, will be praying for you ❤
this is so stressful, hopefully you can get it done and then relax a bit
Oooh...that is awful trap!
I mean...is your parner not going to help you at all before the next inspection?...is he ready to danger your family with homelessness?
Perhaps you could ask him to do some task like taking kids away for 2 days (back home for the night) while you deep clean the house? That is the minimum request in a situation like this!!!
And inspections every 3 months is insane!!!
Look up the adaptive cleaning system. That’s for people who have chronic fatigue.
Great message this week Ariel. My inner voice is always nasty to me. But I'm sweet and kind to others. 😅 "Be you're own friend." Is an important message.
I don't have kids but these videos are still so helpful. Your videos like this are so inspiring and motivating and I appreciate you so much. And to anyone out there struggling with whatever it is in your life right now, it will get better. You are so strong and I know you can do it!
Love this! After a busy summer and a literal month of sicknesses- I appreciate the mental reframing! 🥰
Thank you. I know all this, but struggle with allowing myself the grace. Just listening to your video brought me to tears.
I’ve been in the children season and the death of a spouse season and after 3 years I still struggle to get past survival mode. Your message is needed, sometimes we just need permission to not give ourselves a bad time and the tools to survive. And eventually we can take the baby steps back to our individual normals. Thank you!
Thank you so much for your gift and I'm sorry for this difficult time you've been in, I hope you're able to find things in life that bring you joy during a hard season. And yes - surviving is the most important thing even if that means the bed doesn't get made. ❤️
I feel like you gave me an emotional hug. Thank you :) It's back to school coming for my two youngest kiddos... work is stressful.. I'm a pharmacist at CVS and flu season is starting need i say more ha .. my mom had a real nose dive health wise through June and she's holding but struggling.. I feel like i'm drowning emotionally :( I do want a clean space as i know it always feels amazing but it gets undone quickly.. can take a lot of time. Anyway... just thank you for the support and I'm here for you too! Part of inspiring me... is your journey to figure this out as you go.. it changes.. and there is ebb and flow.. and it's ok. You look great by the way :) I can see you are investing in you and your health and that in and of itself takes time and energy
I love that you remind us it's okay to be real people. I hope you are getting some rest for yourself, too! 🥰❤️🌹
Couldn’t have come at a better time for me- just moved cross country, three kids under five, it’s definitely survival mode!!
I had that perfect season of a clean home for a very short time until my granddaughter and her baby moved in about a year ago. I feel like I’m starting all over again, where I was 40 years ago, but am enjoying this precious time when I think of the alternative. My once pristine living room is now a toddler play land. 😂
That sounds WONDERFUL!! ❤ Enjoy!! 😊
Yes yes and hell yes to everything you said. I have only got three rules: rubbish should always get picked up and thrown away, dirty clothes must find their way to the laundry and dirty dishes must get back to the kitchen. If the floor isn’t swept or the dishes aren’t washed right now, the world won’t fall apart but the house will be much more organised and easier to tidy when I finally get the chance to dedicate time to it.
I love this video this is me survival mode for 30 years I started flylady system in 2018 that is when I learn about decluttering ( I had 4 children) you spend all your time seeing each individual child though all their milestones which I loved every minute of it Which takes a lot of time 🙏🏻🙌🏻❤️ I’am Blessed ! 😇
Survival means different things at different ages and stages. ATM, I'm in survival mode. Physical injuries mean i can't stand for long. I've no energy, either. I fall back on my Flylady routines. Just the morning one, to be truthful. Wash and dress, dishes and make bed. And any chores l can do seated, or without lifting stuff, or standing very long. It won't be forever. Thankyou for the reminder.
I have hypothyroidism and I struggle with this all the time. I've learned on my good days to give it all I got to try and catch up. Some good days I can go all day and others maybe a couple hours. I've learned to just accept that it is what it is. Love your video's and I turn on the tidy tango on my good days- that helps so much.
...As someone older... You may not fully realize the Positive Impact this Video will have on Many, many individuals..... who are struggling, .. in one way or another..( depending on ones' situation/ circumstances, etc.)
I have been there... " in Survival Mode... " at different times/ points in my Life.. .. I wish to Thank You , for a Timekess Message of Grace . Of Compassion, and reminding us about " Compassion for Ones Self " ... that Life will take Twists and Turns,and it IS Important to remind ourselves that " perfection is an illusion..." Whether it be our Home/ Relationships/ ...the list goes on.
In a time when everything feels " hurried and rushed " ..( this was not how it was when I raising my daughters.. No electronics...there was Time for Life. ) .. this Message offers Solace, Hope, ,Grace .... to take the small steps to get to the other the other side of " The Overwhelm " ... 🙌🏻
" Start where you are. Use what you have .. Do what you can " ~
Aurthur Ashe
I’m in this season of life and if there’s one thing that’s made my life SO much easier, it’s the Kaboom toilet system. It’s a little plastic piece that sits in the back of your toilet and filters the water through cleaning tabs before going into the bowl. It doesn’t erode the back of your toilet, and it cleans SO well. I HATE cleaning my toilet. I have hard water and I used to have to clean my toilet a couple times a week. It’s been installed for a month and I’ve done no scrubbing. It’s saved my sanity on more than one occasion. Probably no one will see this comment. But if one person sees this, tries it, and it makes their life easier, then I’ll be happy.
Never heard of this! I loved the bathroom cleaner, but it is SO hard to find!
I'm going to look for this!
Oh my! If this isn't me right now!!! I've had to "move" 3 times in less than 2 years. I am finally in my last journey: unpacking in my forever home. I used to 'collect' boxes, for just in case - but, if I never see another box, that will suit me just fine. I honestly have no idea where anything might be hiding - and wonder how long it will be before I ever find a vast majority of my household items. Then the thought of where they are going to go once they are found! On the plus side, it feels good to know I'm starting from scratch - so I'll be able to (hopefully) organize everything - properly (haha). In the meantime, have to keep watching Ariel to keep me going. :-)
I have a 5yr old and 13 month old and we were ALL sick for MONTHS and then I had two birthday parties, a work event, guests visiting, Christmas, and now it’s winter break. I own my own business and my husband works a lot and is gone a lot and I am the one who does most of the cleaning and organizing and taking care of things so it gets super overwhelming!!
I have been doing the bare minimum and any time I have a little extra time or energy or something is really nagging me, I find a way to get something done. Slowly but surely, things improve, but I do find it stressful still. And I definitely think we need to give ourselves a break and not compare ourselves to picture perfect kitchens and living rooms we come across on tv or social media. It’s okay not to have ours look like that all the time. I live here. My kids outgrow clothes and stop playing with certain toys. We go through seasonal changes and don’t need everything all the time. So it’s hard but I know if I do my best it’s enough.
Every season of your life is exactly THAT. And the only constant in life is change. It seems like cliches, but it is because they are all truths. And your friends don’t care about your mess, as long as your living room isn’t knee deep in trash. I’m 63 and my kids are grown and it’s just me and my husband. Our house is always clean, and so is my car. Actually, my car is a 2018 and has hardly any miles on it and still looks brand new. So you’re right, the time will come where it won’t be groundhog’s day every day. With every toy out, every dish dirty, and two loads of laundry that needs to be done. The only thing I will say, is you will miss having your little kids, you’ll miss the extra wet kisses, and the silly giggles. And just the chaos of kids playing. Everything is a trade off. So try to embrace your babies now and all the stuff that goes with having them. Enjoy every moment of them growing up so you won’t have any regrets. And when your nest is empty, enjoy having those clean and organized spaces that you always wanted.
So many people needed to hear this. I have accepted in recent years that my house will probably be relatively messy for the next decade 😂
I would rather spend time with my kids! Eventually they will be grown and my house will be clean, but I think by then I will miss cleaning the little plastic cups and stepping over the socks and toys.
So many times over the years I have thought of how folks survived during the Dust Bowl years. That was mostly in Oklahoma, I think, but I've read that dust was blowing even as far as New York, too.
I was a stay-at-home mom with 2 small kids. And I managed our resources so that Hubby could attend college until he landed a good job. And that worked out for us! Then I worked & had my school-age kids to care for. And I took night courses, too. Our agreement had been that he would get college first, then I could go to college, too.
But then my husband decided no work around the house was his job. And then he quit mowing, and finally he quit having the antifreeze in the car checked or replaced every year. I didn't realize all of that until the engine blew up. But my point is we have - especially now - a lot of extra stress and worries and concerns. There were a zillion back during my extra-long troubled marriage - For example, I had more than 8 brushes with death in 4 years (2 were confirmed by experts) - and money was often tight and I had lots to do.
Now I'm a great-grandma but lately I've learned a bit more about how God wants to handle that for us. He doesn't expect us to, He expects us to entrust it to Him. When we butt out of handling problems - with other people and more, if we do the required responsibilities but we don't shoulder the burdens of fixing it all - then He makes some serious progress in fixing all problems, big and small.
But during the Dust Bowl, they had no "Dust Bowl" history to compare to. There hadn't been enough rain for the longest time so plants died off and the winds blew all the danged time, blowing the dust all over, even through the cracks around windows & doors, into the house, into their eyes, into everywhere. Some people gave up. That's never the right solution, but I can see their point.
So when things are just too hard, I imagine for a moment I'm back in the Dust Bowl times & places. And I'd rather be here. It feels like a relief to be here.
I needed this at this point in my life. Thank you so much for reminding us of this.
Such good advice, to remember it's only temporary.❤ We all go through this at some point in our life and it really helps to know this too will pass and we'll be up to conquering cleaning the oven again someday. Until then, just do what we really need to do. Thanks Ariel, great video ❤
I’m so overwhelmed right now. Thanks for the video.
5:11 So real life! Cat on table ! ❤
Thank you so much for this video, it came like a present to me. In fact I *am* chronically ill plus: we had to put our beloved cat of 15 years to sleep just 3 days ago and I just look at my apartment and feel nothing but overwhelmed. Cleaning normally helps me clear my head but I am too tired and weak for it. So, survival mode it is! Thank you again, you came as a friend to me today.
Condolences to you - sorry to hear about the loss of your sweet kitty cat. It's hard. I'm glad this video was helpful to you. I have a feeling it will help many people. This is a nice, positive community to interact with. All the best to you.
@@bethhubbs9937 Thank you so much for your kind words, may I send a big hug 🤗
Ariel,Thank you for a caring video. Survival mode is a thing for me too. Years back I thought about which house “ chores” are needed to try n get done every day. Dishes,start some laundry mountain load,stinky garbages,round up recycling,and clean / scoop out the kitty litter. I’m also trying to teach my hubby to notice things that need to be done,then do them. Works for me also. I like doing “ Waitress Hands” Never leave a room without empty hands.
Your children can be taught this also. Notice and help. This will eventually help to lessen your Mental Load . Team Ariel ! If you start planting the Notice Seeds now,They will grow to be huge ,helpful,happy,humans. Hugs from Canada 🇨🇦
Thank you for this reminder. I'm going through perimenopause and it's depleting my energy levels. I have told myself many of the unkind things you went over in the first part of the video. No more. I'm going to give myself grace.❤
Your video spoke to me on a deeper level. I have been feeling so guilty that I can't do a deep cleaning of my home this summer but you've made me feel better. I'm in survival mode and I should give myself some grace.
Thank you for always posting wonderful content
I have a number system that works for me. For example if the table needs to be cleared off but I just can’t find a chunk of time to do it I put 5 things away every time I walk by and aim for things that need to go in the direction I’m headed. It takes maybe one extra minute and is manageable. Also tends to me doing more or just finishing. If I’m in the kitchen and need to let the dog in and I walk by the table I grab the 5 things let the dog in and put them away on my way back to the kitchen. It works for me
A big THANK YOU for reminding me to show myself more grace and be compasssionate with myself ♥
Started crying not even 35 seconds in 😅 thank you for this reminder. Baby is 4 months old and going through major sleep regression, husband is out of work and has been sick for almost 2 weeks. My toddler is going through a potty training regression. Every corner of my house is cluttered and it feels like I'm surrounded by failure. it's hard to get even the bare minimum done sometimes. Knowing I'm not alone and this is just a tough season that won't last forever helps a bit.
I have to remind myself of this all the time - this will pass. It won't always be this hard! Easier days are ahead. Our words are powerful, so speak kindly to yourself! The funniest thing about it all is that one day we will look back and miss the days when our house was messy and filled with our young beautiful babies. Well get through this ❤️
❤❤❤😭 Thank you so much! This felt so kind to my heart. Also I loved the earwig moment! 😂👏
Thank you!! Much-needed reminder to let go.
Also, in our house we do not allow art projects on the dining room table so we don't have to clear them away for meals. The kids can do art on the coffee table or up in their rooms.
Love your videos. I’m an empty nester now and love all your different investigations of cleaning routines like Fly Lady and Clean Mama. You’re right … the dust bunnies will still be there but one day this baby season will be over. My kids are 25,23 and 21 and they didn’t remember my house when they were little, but I remember the snuggles and the fun times. You got this.
Thank you for this.
I’m single, don’t have any children or grandchildren & live alone & still find cleaning my house a struggle at times.
I’m especially finding it hard at the moment, as I suffer from summer SAD & it’s so hard to get motivated to do things, especially when it’s hot. (Most houses & some shops in the UK don’t have air con)
❤ Thank you!
Having a tough pregnancy and recovery, then a clingy girl....it has made cleaning impossible.
I finally got things done yesterday. And I felt so much better. The reminder that this is a season was really helpful!
This is such a nice and thoughtful video. What really wears me down emotionally and then if course I also feel physically exhausted, is the fact that I always seem to be doing something and the apartment is always a mess. Like, I can’t even enjoy the fruits of my struggle. I will focus on an area one day just to find it just as chaotic the next. My children aren’t even toddlers anymore but I am serioysly burnt out. Argh…
Love this and love you. We've been in survival mode since the beginning of the pandemic. Take care of you. Keep shining bright.
The last two years have been tough. We moved in March and I wanted to do everything better in the new apartment. Now I can't even manage to dust or mop the floor. I always feel bad, but I just can't do it. Thank you for the video and best wishes from Germany.
We are only one person and we need to give ourselves a little grace! Life can get crazy. And just when you think you've reached your highest level of crazy, it gets even crazier next month!! Lol.
Love your video's! Rocked on the tiny tango this week! Would love to see a video on a week of your cleaning habits as in 10 minute tidy after diner etc. Keep up the great work!
Thank you! I needed this. Crying watching this. I've been struggling with being a wife, mom and homemaker since I had my first born and felt doomed with a 2nd on the way.😅❤
I feel like this right now, and I put this video on because I LOVE your videos and I immediately felt like I could get up and get things done. We spent all day at the beach yesterday for a family reunion with my husbands family. I am so spent and I have to clean and put away all the beach stuff on top of the regular chores. Thanks for the motivation and for body doubling with me. ❤
😂😂😂loved squashing the bug with your 👟 shoe🎉
Thank you for the reminder and the permission!
Yay for grace! It's easier to show others grace if we give ourselves grace as well. I like the tasks you prioritize in this video and in your tidy tango. 💕
What a super great video! Yes, life happens and priorities change...give yourself grace I say!
I love this! , being kind but practical too. I have a chronic illness & some weeks are better than others. I try to do a little cleaning each day & get it done first thing when I have most energy. Right now it’s the summer holidays in the UK & the kids are off, plus it’s hot & we don’t have AC so the bare minimum is good enough right now x
Thank you. This too will pass… great reminder
Thank you so much. This was so beautiful and encouraging and full of grace. ❤
I just wanted to tell you… You look great I just started working out because of you! Thankz🎉🎉
Thank you needed this✌️
And I hope you are safe and healthy❤
Yes, yes, yes! Thank you for acknowledging this. And thank you for offering solutions. ❤
We just moved (my husband and I have a 2 and almost 4 year old) and I’m 6 months pregnant. It’s like you spoke the words from my brain how I’ve been feeling lately 😢
When I was younger, and my kids were small, I heard this a lot. People were always telling me not to worry about the house and just relax. What I kept hearing was that there was something wrong with me because a clean, orderly house was important to me. Now, I know that they were wrong. It’s OK to crave order. A dirty messy house is stressful. I understand that some people need permission to let things go. But it’s also OK when order and cleanliness are important to you. And we shouldn’t tell our friends to just relax when it is something that’s important to them. People made me feel like I was a bad mother because I wanted these things and I worked hard for them.
I needed to hear this so much! And I genuinely thought that I was the only person that got random bugs in ghe house. Thank you fir making me feel not alone❤
A few years ago, I was struggling with a few chronic illnesses, and I was incapable of keeping up with my house. I opted to focus on doing a load of dishes a day. Then my sister came every weekend and cleaned for five hours every Saturday. As I felt better, I took on one item at a time. First I made my bed daily, which helped my mental health. Then I started doing my laundry. Then I added ten minutes a day, vacuuming, dusting, or scrubbing a toilet. I feel a lot better these days. When I clean 45 minutes a day, my house is spotless. I don’t have kids, but I have dogs keeping me on my toes. I do the best I can, but sometimes the pain or fatigue comes back. Then I go back to prioritizing my dishes, making my bed, and laundry. I have a method to my madness, and I’ll get to the dusting when I feel better. And if I don’t feel better, I’ll find someone else to help.
My house has always been a cluttered mess due to family giving us things through the years but it's always been clean. I have a 18 month old and its not where I want it to be but as you said, im in the survival cleaning phase. We are wanting a second child so this will probably go on for a few more years but atleast I know that im getting the necessities done.
Thankyou so much❤. Just sent this to my daughter who's a mom of a 3 yr and 1 yr old
Far out all I can say is thankyou.
I'd love a video for those of us, to whom survival mode isn't a short period of time. Chronic illness makes me live in survival mode all the time and it has been years. I am in a little bit of a better place right now, but I still can't clean a lot at one go. Also some stains that have been sitting for years are really hard to get out, which sucks if you are renting like I am. I am a clean person, I just can't clean a lot.
Food, clean clothes, clean-ish surfaces in " company zones" - job done. And if friends aren't on board with that they are not friends!
I love your videos. You are so sweet. Thank you
Yes, yes, yes, yes, I agree with everything you say. Thanks,
I loved this video. I'm in the third trimester and I'm just exhausted.
Ok that's great and all but..... can we talk about that white chair!?😂 talk about the coziest spot in the house! If i had that in my living room i would spend all day "working" 😂😂 thanks for the motivation to get in gear this morning, we can always count on you! ❤❤🎉🎉