Apologies for the colour grading in this video, my lights where too bright and my face was completely washed out (more than normal anyway 😂) so tried to correct it as best as I could 💖
That one really shocked me because I'd never ever have the gumption to see someone's memorial tattoo and go 'oh that's cliche.' That's so effing rude in ways I can't articulate?
You wouldn’t say that having a headstone in a graveyard for a loved one or doing a burial at sea for a loved on is “cliché”; how is a memorial tattoo any different?
I listen to a podcast called “OBITCHUARY” and the hosts did a “coffin-spinner” topic segment about memorial tattoos. The underlying reason many people subconsciously get memorial tattoos is the thought that they don’t want to “forget” about their lost loved one as time passes, because grief and mourning the loss of a person brings about the fear of forgetting their existence or their passing as time goes on and the grief settles from taking precedence in your mind when you lose them and when you start “going back to normal functional living” and other executive thoughts start taking precedent post-acceptance of their death. People have the innate fear of forgetting the person they lost following the line of thinking of “out of sight out of mind”. This is why memorial tattoos are very common in the human experience. Just an interesting piece of psychological and sociological fact I found super intriguing!
@@mightymeatymechI can try to articulate why it makes me mad personally. Seeing a memorial tattoo and saying it's cliche is fucked up because that person had someone in their life die and got a tattoo to remember their loved one. Saying a memorial tattoo is cliche is basically calling the dead person unoriginal since the tattoo represents that person. Plus, the tattooed person wasn't trying to be original, they were trying to memorialize a deseased loved one. To see that tattoo, to understand why they have it, and then say it's cliche is just cruel. It's bullying them about how they grieve. That's the best way I can explain it.
I told my wife that I was planning on getting COVERED in tattoos now that I’m in my mid 30’s. She basically said as long as the cost of tattoos never gets in the way of our supporting our family, go for it. I now have a budget for my tattoos and we are both very excited about the process! The first dude OBVIOUSLY doesn’t know shit about traditional tattoos. Her tattoo sounds dope!
1st one reminded me heavily of my ex, telling themselves they are the "rational" and "level headed" part of the partnership and their partner is "impulsive" and "naive" etc. etc. It's a classic way for a toxic person to justify their controlling and borderline abusive behaviour because they have convinced themselves that their partner needs their help and they are only being nice by offering it. Definitely major red flags with that one.
Exactly, I’ve been in toxic relationships like this, and the recovery time, let me tell you, took a time equal to a haft of our relationship time, so if you see this red flag 🚩 SAVE YOURSELF FROM THESE RELATIONSHIPS ASAP, it won’t get better, you won’t ever change their opinion about you for better, but they can instead hurt your self perception a lot
@@RinaShabanov Even if someone (especially a man) who is "rational" like that is NOT toxic, it's still a pain in the arse to be with. Every single person in this world is emotional and just because you bottle it up and aren't in touch with your needs and feelings, doesn't mean those don't affect your behavior majorly. If that dude was rational, he would have not had a panic attack after his gf's decision and would have agreed that he has no say in her getting a tattoo. Such hypocrisy, I can't even.
"my wife is a people pleasing" SO what you are saying is, instead of getting a tattoo SHE WHANTED she should have listen to you and please you so you wouldnt get upset ? too many red flags in this 1st one, the wife should run away as fast as she can !!!
Tattoo artist here. The last OP was 100% in the right to try and get something they would be happy with. Sounds like the girl she initially went to needs to check her goddamn ego and realize--then address--her own artistic weaknesses. Color tattoos are a nearly entirely different animal from black and grey--you need an extremely solid understanding of color theory and color mixing, and ideally plenty of experience with some kind of painting medium. It's tricky, and takes time to figure out. You can tell the difference between someone with good chops for color tattoos and someone without pretty much instantly. And there's no shame in admitting "yeah, I could use more practice in this area before I start getting in over my head with complex, technically difficult pieces." I made that mistake early on on my career, lord knows, but I was charging apprentice rates at the time. Because that's when you figure out where you need to focus your efforts. I would probably be relieved if a client went to someone with more experience to retouch something I had done--because I would have enough self-awareness and humility to recognize that I had screwed the pooch on something. And in the forefront of my mind every day is that the client is the person who has to live with that design for a lifetime, so their happiness is paramount.
As a tattoo artist, when the client checks the stencil in the mirror I expect a reaction from them that tells me that’s what they wanted. And that’s sometimes a very subtle reaction and it’s involuntary. But if you’re experienced enough, you can tell if the client likes it or not. If the client doesn’t show me that reaction , I’ll be pushing them myself to open up about what’s wrong. The last thing i want is them walking out the door thinking they should have asked for something different.
I have a lot of tattoos, and now I know I can say no. However, early on I got a large bunch of flowers on my shoulder, and the artist first told me that the flower I chose (hydrangeas) wouldn’t look “natural” and drew lillies instead - I wasn’t sure what he meant but didn’t know how to disagree. I knew from the stencil it wasn’t what I had pictured (and I know now it’s not well done) but I honestly was intimidated enough that I didn’t say anything. I can absolutely see how it can happen. I wouldn’t let it happen now, I know A LOT better, but for certain personalities with certain histories, it’s REALLY difficult to stand up to an aggressive person who you think is an authority.
Wow I had such a similar experience. I wanted sunflowers on my upper arm and the artist told me that that wasn't possible and drew lillies for me instead. I went with it as I thought she knew better. She absolutely messed my arm up and multiple tattoo artists since have told me I could've easily gotten what I wanted... It was an unfortunate way to learn that I can stand up for what I want and that the tattoo artist is not always right.
Honestly this is one of the reasons why it took me so long to get a tattoo. It's hard for me to say no. I can't even tell my hairdresser if I dislike something. I was so afraid that I'll get something i don't like because I'm too afraid to say something. Luckily I found a really nice artist and it was easy to tell her if i didn't like something. I love my tattoo and it was a great experience.
I wanted snowdrops on my arm and the only thing that my tattoo artist suggested was to integrate them into another tattoo. So I ended up with this awesome skunk with the snowdrops and other flowers in the background. He free-handed the snowdrops. I got lucky.
I also had experiences like that when I started getting tattoed. One was my 2nd tattoo ever, I looked up a picture on google and sent it to my (as I know now not very good) artist, saying its inspiration and I don't want it exactly like that. The day came and she just took out a stencil of the picture I sent her as inspiration. I got it covered now. 2nd story I messaged an artist in London (me being from Germany) for a hand sized tattoo that I thought wasn't too detailed. So I arrived in London early in the morning and waited for my appointment. In the studio the artist basically wanted to turn my hand sized tattoo into a full thigh piece because he said it would be too small otherwise. So I asked him how long he thinks it would take as my bus would go late this same evening (when we discussed my plans over mail he never mentioned anything about the size being too small). He got upset and said he wouldn't be able to finish it in the given time frame and that he wouldn't do it in two sessions under any circumstance. I didn't want to leave "empty handed" so after a bit of brainstorming I gave him a different idea. I didn't want to get it from this artist or in his style but I made the trip to London and didn't want it to be for nothing. So he did the tattoo, it was alright but not what I wantet. Its heavily scared too, I assume because he was annoyed by the situation just like I was. I still got the tattoo but I'm not happy with it.
@@MelBlackMuffin oh thats so terrible! This is honestly why I'm scared to go to an artist outside my country. Having tattoos you're not happy with sucks because secretly I want to get it removed but because it isn't hideous I'm second guessing everything. I know I'd be happier with something else on my arm but also am I going to go through the entire laser removal thing for this???
third guy said he talks about how he doesn't like arm tattoos every time she gets a new one (if I heard correctly ?) she doesn't need to be reminded of it every single time imagine how shitty that would make her feel... You can have an opinion but you don't have to voice it !
I haven’t been back to a specific tattoo parlor because they made me an appointment with an apprentice for my first tattoo, and the guy went to deep so I thought that was just how my tats were gonna look and feel. But I got another one done by someone else at another shop and I didn’t feel like they were digging my skin out nor did it get blowouts. Not really the parlors fault, just felt like as someone getting their first tattoo, I should be with a professional, not an apprentice still working on getting a certain amount of clients
I just started getting tattoos and made the conscious decision to have an apprentice build up my arm sleeve. Best desicion ever, she's a great artist overall so I got pieces from her personal portfolio and months later, they look even better than they looked fresh. I'm so sorry your experience was bad, I hope they at least compensated you or charged you with the appropriate rate.
I can get a person being initially shocked upon seeing a tattoo and calming down later. After getting my leg injury, there were a few days when I was panicked about how I’d have this large scar on my leg. But a few days later it’s fine.
I think it's one thing to be shocked, but it's another thing to not keep that to yourself, or at least air it out to someone that won't be personally affected by it until you've calmed down.
The back tattoo: I have one in the same type of position and size. 1/4 of my back, up on the shoulder. My artist not only got me to look in the mirror, and get the opinion of my mate, but offered to take a pic with his phone. Also, the sleeve one where the partner doesn't care for tattoos. He'll stop noticing them. My husband isn't a fan of tattoos, I am tatted. I asked him how he felt and he said he had planned to just ignore them but now he sees them as part of me. They are on the same line as my freckles. When I get a new one he notices, recognises it as nice art, but once it's healed and his had time its just me.
This is his how my boyfriend feels. He never really didn’t like tattoos but he never personally wanted one or cared for them; until he saw me with all my tattoos and how happy I would be to get a new one and show off my body/tattoos. “He just sees them as me.” I absolutely love and relate to that.
Situation 1: yes he is the asshole, and to be honest he sounds like he's an asshole in general, not just this instance Situation 2: need more information, the way she writes the story I'd say no she is not. However, the part where her friend says she feels like she went behind her back to get it done without her in the first place leads me to believe the friend thought the plan was to get matching tattoos to begin with. She says she didn't think the conversation was serious then, so depending on how that went she could be the asshole Situation 3: no he's not the asshole. Sounds like he just has a tattoo preference and is respectful expressing his opinion without trying to control hers Situation 4: no, she is not the asshole, but she kind of handled it in an asshole way. If she wasn't happy with the tattoo she has every right to go elsewhere to get it done in a way that is to her liking. However, she should've gave the original artist the common courtesy of letting them know up front, instead of completing the tattoo, which likely took multiple sessions, all while ignoring the original artists messages. She should have let the original artist know she was going in a different direction so they weren't left wondering when they were going to be finishing the tattoo
I got my first tattoo done by a shop about an hour away from my house, and while I love the meaning behind it, the actual tattoo is kinda trash. It's blown out and sloppy and still raised three years later (my brother made the appointment and paid so I probably can't be toooo mad, but still). So the next time I wanted a tattoo, I messaged the same shop and made an appointment with a different artist there. We discussed everything, and the guy said he'd send me an email with info so I could put down a deposit and confirm the appointment. After a couple days, I hadn't received an email, so I messaged him back and asked him to please send an email so I could put down the deposit. The guy said okay but yet I never received an email. Well, a few days later my entire family got covid and I had to cancel. He was nice about it, and a few weeks later when things were better I messaged him back and we rescheduled and he said he'd send me an email so I could put in a deposit. Well days pass, no email, I message again, he says he'll send one, days later, still no email, I message again, he says he'll send one, he just. never. does. So I ended up blocking the shop and never showing up for my appointment. If I even ever had an appointment...I never put in a deposit and therefore never got an actual confirmation that I had an appointment. I booked with someone else (who I now have gone to seven times and love) and when we were done she posted a picture of my tattoo on instagram. The artist from the previous shop messaged me on instagram and asked why I never showed and blocked the shop, but I never even opened the message. I've told many people (people without tattoos and highly tatted people, and my current artist) and every single one of them agree I'm not the asshole. I still feel bad about it to this day, and looking back, I definitely could've been more mature about it and told them I no longer wanted to work with them since they basically refused to send a deposit (which imo is unprofessional, especially after I asked so many times) but I also feel like I'm not the asshole in this situation.
Same. It’s really hard to know if he’s actually being honest or just is really good at twisting it to fit his narrative because either one seems believable to me honestly…
Having your first tattoo can be intimidating, and it is easy to just go along with it and not want to upset the artist. I know I felt like that at first … and it was just a shock for the husband. I think he would have been unreasonable if he hadn’t been open to talk and adjust his opinion from listening to her, but he did listen and has realised it’s not the end of the world.
For the last one: I'm in progress of having my sleeve finished by a different artist. I've had unfinished outlines on my arm for around 7-8 years now... I moved out of the state where my friend (tattoo artist) did the tattoo. I did try to ask a few years back if he would be coming out to a tattoo convention that he had attended before that is in a neighboring state to my current state. He said "maybe next year" and nothing since. I got tired of having an unfinished arm so I went to a new shop and tbh my new artist did wayyy more amazing work than what my friend could do. No offense to my friend but he has a certain style (more new school based now) that just didn't work with what I wanted my sleeve filler turned into.
On the second one, I’m really curious to know what the tattoo is. If they had the same idea, then is it really that unique? Or did the OP have the idea and Sophie just said “Oh yeah that sounds good, I’ll do that too.”? I have a sneaking suspicion that the tattoo isn’t actually unique at all. I could be totally wrong, but I’ve never met anyone that would see or hear someone’s idea for a totally unique and personal tattoo and just say “Yep, I’ll have the same”.
You’d be surprised, people with that sense of entitlement are pretty common on AITA. Stealing baby names is something in a similar vein that comes up a lot.
I'm super curious too! But it makes me think of a school friend of mine who jumps on other peoples ideas and will say 'omg I've wanted that for ages'. A mutual friend made the unfortunate mistake of mentioning the tattoo idea she was getting (her first), and the girl jumped in to say she'd been thinking about getting it for ages, then had the audacity to book in with the same artist and request the same idea, which meant she ended up with a somewhat similar tattoo as they had a pretty distinct style. I've made sure to never mention anything in her presence, but it's disappointing that some peoples mindsets are like that (keep in mind this girl probably has 20+ tattoos so I would have hoped she had a better grasp on tattoo etiquette).
for the second person, it really depends on how that first conversation happened. if they said it was okay and in three years of friendship didn't mention they were not okay anymore, only mentioning it once they've booked the appointment IS kind of an asshole move. Like c'mon in three years ??? But also she's the ah for wanting a copy of another person's tattoo and putting her friend back into a corner (when she said it would be strange, she should've backed off). ESH !
I was thinking the same thing. The person agreed to letting her get the tattoo (how similar, we don't know, but hopefully not an exact copy) 3 years passes and they never said "I changed my mind, don't get it." It's fine to change your mind, but you have to voice it! She had already booked the appointment and then suddenly getting a "no I don't want you to" the day before honestly would not have stopped me if I was the one getting tattooed... Maybe she had already paid a big deposit to the artist, and usually you have to cancel before the last 24hrs of your appointment. The person had 3 years to say no, but they didn't! That's on them.
I feel like they were pushed into agreeing at first though… OP said she would be uncomfortable with that first but the friend kept asking. If I found out it hadn’t happened yet and had the opportunity to finally speak up for myself properly I would too.
It all depends on what it is exactly. The op never said it was a copy, they just said it was similar and highly specific. So if they got like a narwhal with a crown or something, the friend asked if she could get the same thing. Depending on the specificity, yeah, she could be an asshole. But if it’s not a copy just the subject matter is the same, then I personally don’t see the friend in the wrong, especially if they’re were given the okay.
For the first one, it read to me like the OP was coming from a position of not wanting his wife to have a tattoo she didn’t want, moreso than not wanting her to have a tattoo. Which I feel is valid, it’s important to be able to talk to your SO about stuff like that and make sure they aren’t secretly upset about having it different than they wanted. Of course this comes from the perspective of someone who has been in the wife’s position, I have severe anxiety but I love piercings. I have knowingly gotten pierced in the wrong spot because I couldn’t bring myself to speak up about it being wrong, then lied about it being fine until I got in the car and started bawling. And as explained in the edits, that sounds like something wife would do as well. So from my perspective, if OP thinks that’s a position wife might’ve been in, it’s completely valid to express concern from that angle, and I’d appreciate that the person closest to me cared to make sure I didn’t feel unable to complain.
YEAH I've agreed to art/placement/sizes I'm not totally happy with because I'm pretty bad at speaking up for myself. In those situations, I would have loved for someone in my corner to ask "hey are you sure? You mentioned you wanted it more like x" so that I could have an 'escape route' if I wanted it.
Totally agree, I’m pretty confident but I find it very difficult to speak up to an aggressive person who I think is an authority and probably (in my mind) knows better than I do.
I totally get what you're saying and I agree, but I felt like the guy sounded like he didn't trust his wife to make this decision? idk I'm really cautious and anxious too, but I wouldn't say this to my significant other
I think a lot of people went into it assuming he was controlling and the asshole, when in reality we don’t know the tattoo and it could just as easily be him being concerned. It’s likely he knows her more than us being that they’re married. I just think an open mind is required for these sort of stories
Maybe if he had said 'oh, I thought you were getting it on your ankle?' Or 'it's bigger than what you described, are you happy with how it turned out?' Instead she asked him to help her clean it, he looked at it, and then just got up and left without saying anything. At that time he didn't know how she felt about it, but she sure knew how he felt about it. That doesn't sound like someone overly worried about their significant others feelings to me.
My first tattoo was in memorial for my mother - three daisies. My second tattoo was a gift from my husband - a moon and sun, so I can remember that we are one no matter our differenses. He is not planing to get any tattoos and I have seven more planned. It's all about support and understanding.
My first tattoo was a Jekyll/Hyde tattoo I drew. It was about 2 inches long and my tattoo artist told me it would look better if it would look better and less cluttered if I let him size it up. I agreed and it looks good.
Love this as a video idea 👌🏼 the first one made me sad like the husband spoiled something special for his wife because he is controlling. I have been with my girlfriend coming up on ten years and the rule is always if it’s not offensive then it’s your body your choice. I feel like if a picture on you partners skin can make you sour on them then was your relationship that great to start with honestly.
I also understand why the tattoo artist was hurt in the last one- it’s called having your ego bruised lmfao. The artist was forced to realize they aren’t as great as they are in there head when they’re client was dissatisfied & found someone better and instead of humbling themselves they’re lashing out like an arrogant brat to comfort themselves. There was no betrayal, broken promises, lies of omission, lack of communication or unfairly harsh criticism on part of the client.
That was honestly the biggest red flag. Same energy as when you’re 7 years old and mommy won’t take you to Disneyland so you “runaway from home” lmaoooo
It really depends on the relationship and person. Some people need to get out and clear their head, they’d rather do that than make a scene acting out of shock. You’re looking at it assuming things when really it could be that he wanted to avoid saying something he didn’t mean
Yeah depends on the person. It could have been the shock from something that was entirely different in his mind. I have really intense emotions so I try to be that rational and cautious person that he was describing. But you can't stop yourself from being triggered in every situation. Walking out was probably his way of going to find a place and a way to calm down and organise his thoughts instead of saying and doing something that might hurt his wife that he then will regret later. heck if I get a nasty trigger I have to go take a couple of sedatives to calm down. Yes, my emotional regulation system is on a toddler trigger. lol!
I understand that some people might be very emotional and need some air to clear their mind and that is totally fine. What I don‘t understand is that his partner changing something about their look does make him feel THAT upset that he had to go out.. It sounds like it’s suuuuuuuuper important to him what she looks like and that her looking good for him is that essential that it makes him leave the house to deal with his emotions. How superficial can someone be???
Yeah when I heard that I thought, it's OK to have an emotional reaction as emotions are involuntary, but leaving without a word and not talking to the wife afterwards seems like a pretty terrible way to approach conflict. Like, at least say, it's not your fault but I need a moment to think away from here
I feel like the first guy's wife was already not knowing how to feel about the tattoo and the husband being too abrupt about it defo made her regret it...
She also just decided to go along to her brother-in-laws appointment(?), it doesn’t sound like she researched the artist or anything. I also don’t understand why an anchor and Grandfather script would be impossible to fit on her ankle.
@@hilarys3405 yeah at first I thought she wanted a micro portrait which is why biggering it wasn't a bad idea but a little ribbon and anchor is 100% doable I wonder how big it is now wish they posted a pic !
the guy from the first one is 🚩🚩🚩 he sounds controlling, hot & cold, and honestly quite manipulative. he even describes his wife as literally avoiding him so she doesn’t make him mad. DIVORCE BABE
I understand the first guy saying he wishes he was there to be a voice of reason. Some tattoo artists will convince people to put a tattoo in a larger area even if its not necessary, and i think he believes thats whats happened here and shes too embarrassed to say so. Hopefully she loves it and thats all that matters at the end of the day.
The first one is so cringey. Why would you marry someone if you think they’re SO stupid that they can’t make simple decisions without you to be “the voice of reason”? If you think you’re SO smart that you’re the singular voice of reason in the world, why would you want to marry a ‘mere mortal’ lmao
Yeah, that was the impression I got from that part too. Plus, the bit where he saw the tattoo and straight-up left the house and didn't come back all day makes it sound like he throws temper tantrums, which could be something he uses to manipulate her. IDK this for sure, obviously, but it's definitely questionable.
I think they were more looking out for them than insulting them? I don’t agree with their side completely but it sounds like she may be more likely to not speak up and if he knows this could be an issue then what he’s saying is that he could’ve given her the confidence to get it exactly how she wanted. We don’t know what these people are like or their relationship. I think it’s quite close minded to just assume he’s a controlling a.h, if you ignore your assumptions then there’s many reasons for this mans reaction and explanation. Good and bad
@@Alicein4711 or he’s clearing his head and he’s left to stop himself saying something he’ll regret and not mean. In which case the best thing to do would be leave, calm down and then be able to voice your true opinions and comfort each other. Or you’re right. We will never know, I just think there’s so many reasons for this that would instead make it sound like an adult thing to do. As opposed to getting angry etc. Not everyone would be able to instantly be calm and process everything, some people need some time and space
What I love(/s) about first guy is that he never mentions if she is happy or not with her tattoo in the original post, it's all about his taste for his wife. People had to ask him to have a little mention in the edit. 😅😅😅😅
With the first one, I can absolutely see someone who is a people pleaser like me could be talked into getting a tattoo that is much bigger than they wanted it to be. Imagine, there’s a line of people waiting or the artist only has a certain amount of time, they say they can only do the tattoo if it’s the bigger size, you can’t quite get a good look at it in the mirror, but your bro in law is like “it looks great! Nah it’s not even that big! Just get it, come on!” And you have wanted this tattoo for years and never got around to it so it feels like if you don’t get it now you never will, and maybe you have a hard time making decisions so you get decision paralysis and that makes it all worse so to just be done with the anxiety of deciding you just trust what the two people trying to convince you to get a tattoo are saying and worry about it later. Then they start the tattoo and you already feel it in your gut that you shouldn’t have just done whatever they said but it’s too late now to change it; they’ve already started tattooing. And yeah. I think it’s possible that instead of the husband telling her she didn’t want it that size, the artist and her bro in law possibly told her she did want it that size. Also I think he meant that that tattoo that his wife got specifically didn’t have fine detail work, so it probably didn’t _have_ to be that big but that maybe the artist just said that because they aren’t confident in doing smaller scale pieces or wanted more money for the bigger tat or wanted to have a bigger piece of his art on her because of ego or something. To be fair, I am fascinated by tattoos, and the process, but I don’t have any myself; partly because I am so indecisive. This is just another possible way to think of it. I do agree that there are some red flags in what the guy said, tho.
Nobody was going to get out of that last one without some bad feelings. From the artist's point of view I totally get that it would sting for a client to leave and say your work isn't good enough. But the client made the right decision. Bc what else could she do, go through w finishing the tattoo in a way she would hate forever just for the sake of not being rude to the artist?
Love this series so much! For that last one, I feel badly for both parties. The client's communication probably should have been a bit more direct and upfront (no one likes being ignored over text, especially by a client) but, ultimately, the client has to walk around with that tattoo forever... they should be able to be proud of what's on their body.
The last one is the toughest for me. I’m not a tattoo artist but I am a digital artist and it’s highly disrespectful to have anyone mess with your art. When you draw you pull a piece of your imagination out and put it on the page so every piece you draw is highly personal. Yes, they paid for all the work up to that point so their transaction was complete but that’s still that tattoo artist’s heart, soul, and talent poured into that tattoo. To have someone else finish it is like spitting on their work. It’s totally disrespectful. But on the other side, it’s OP’s body and they have to live with that tattoo for the rest of their life so they should get the tattoo done the way they want it done. It’s like 50/50 for me, I can’t decide 😂
I feel like no matter how much effort you put into a piece of art, especially a tattoo, if you are not able to do it in the manner requested then you need to take a step back and check your ego. Tattoos are forever, and clearly she did not have the skills to complete it properly. No one should have to live with a tattoo that isn’t done right just because of an artist. I get that art is personal and you do put effort into it, but as a tattoo artist they need to understand that their vision for it is not the important one, it’s the clients. In no way is the client the asshole.
You're just biased. The client is the one who has to live with the art - if it's not what they want and they've paid for everything they should have, no one cares about your imagination and how "highly personal" something you draw is. Sometimes you're just not good enough, no matter how hard you try and it sounds like the first artist has a bit of an ego problem.
I can’t imagine how awful that must feel as an artist to see work you did being changed by someone else in a style you didn’t intend, but I feel like as a tattoo artist thats just something you have to learn to deal with from time to time. Art is a heavily personal thing but in my opinión when you choose to work in a medium that permanently alters another persons body you have to be willing to give up a lot of that control.
i agree with your statement about messing with original art but i feel like with tattoos it’s a lot different since they’re going to be on skin forever. the tattoo artist in that case was not yet very experienced, it sounds like they are a great artist on paper who can’t get their designs to translate properly on skin. the client loved the design they were presented, but the artist probably didn’t have the skill necessary to tattoo it as is and didn’t want to admit it, so the client not only was in the right but made a very good call to save their own skin. in my opinion as both an artist and a tattoed person, if you only have a couple years experience you probably should listen to critiques and advice instead of giving the “trust me i’m a pro” talk to your clients.
With going to a walk in appointment it can be difficult to express yourself when dealing with placement or details vs a planned and scheduled appointment where you know that the artist has time for you to be choosey. You always have the right to express your desires when getting a tattoo but as someone who avoids conflict I understand how it can be intimidating
OMG the one about a friend getting the same tattoo. This happened to me in college... I have a bio hazard tattoo on my right wrist that is just black. Then one day she just comes in with the same one acting like it was no biggy. I mentioned it to them and they said that they thought i would be flattered that they liked mine so much that they got it too. I told her that i was kinda upset but okay whatever. Then she continued to copy me, she changed her major to mine like a week later. Then when my BF and i broke up, she moved on into him and got married to him! (Laughed because it only lasted a couple months before they got a divorce.) But yeah having someone want the same tattoo as you i think is upsetting and kinda sucks. You can have a similar one but make it different please!
You should do a video where you read out our stories!! I feel like that would be so fun and interactive for us as subscribers, and boy oh boy do I have plenty of tattoo stories..
The last person is 100% in the right to go to a new artist. It doesn’t matter if the artist is offended, they aren’t the one who has to live with the ink on their body for the rest of their life. I myself have a botched half sleeve from an artist that made so many promises on what he could do. Sat through two sessions over three hours each, and it just looks awful. Rather than go back to him I’ve now begun the process of getting it laser removed. I don’t owe the artist an explanation whatsoever, much less another session for him to further screw up my skin. He misrepresented his abilities to me. He also wouldn’t shut up about the drugs he uses and wasted tons of time during my sessions talking with other people in the shop while I was laying there paying by the hour. You’re right that there is usually a good reason people decide to go elsewhere to fix or finish their tattoos.
Lauren I just wanted to thank you for being you, your videos are one of the extremely few things that can take my mind off my anxiety I have been struggling a lot with the past weeks ❤️ I love you!
Regarding the last person, I wish I could've been like them when I got my first tattoo done and wasn't happy with the result. I was around 18-19 and my first tattoo was a potrait. I wanted a specific style and even though it looked all right it didn't quite measure up to my expectations. I didn't have the nerve to tell my artist so right after it was done I just remember getting anxiety about it and regretting my choices. 😬 It's been 8 years and though I don't mind it now I have learned my lesson to research artists properly and to actually be honest with what I feel so I don't put myself in that position again. As for the tattoo, I'll get rid of it somehow when I've figured out what I want to do with it. 😅
I understand that someone else finishing your art stings... but in this particular art form your canvas is alive and will carry the tattoo until the end of their days. So I think how the customer feels takes priority here.
For the one about the guy with the wife with the arm tattoos--need more information. Did she *ask* for his opinion on her tattoos and choices? If not, then he didn't need to say it. It's kind of shitty if your partner likes something and it doesn't affect you at all but you still feel the need to tell them you don't like it.
Relating to the first story, yeah I got my inner forearm done last week and my artist still had me also check it in the mirror even though I could just see it easily. They make Damn Sure you know what you're getting if they're at all good.
I have a tattoo on the outer part of my arm (can't see on its entirety unless on a mirror). My sweet, sweet tattoo artist had me look to the mirror several times, gave me plenty of time to contemplate on it and although we changed the placement, I didn't realize the size of it till I got it done (I would probably go a size smaller, not that it's the end of the world). So I can definitely see how the wife may have not realized the actual size of the piece. (Also we do forget that some tattoo artists will persuade you to go much, much bigger than what you want, because they have a personal vendetta with small, cute tattoos for some reason.)
Imo telling your partner every time they get an arm tattoo that you don’t like arm tattoos, even if it is just his opinion feels unnecessary and rude. It feels like subtle manipulation, he tells her every single time she may start feeling bad about her choices even though she’s happy with them.
9:37 yes that makes a lot of sense because sometimes my bf will wear something I personally don’t like but I will always let him know he looks great because I know he cares about my opinion I never want him to doubt himself.
I remember when my mum got her back tattoo- she had small tattoos before that one, but her back one is this big, beautiful lotus flower. I love it, she loves it. She showed my *male parent* and he was like "oh, you've got something on your shoulders" (basically a sarcastic "oh, you've got a mark there, bit of ink maybe?") The first one reminded me of that, except my dad has tattoos himself so, it wasn't anything to do with the tattoo, he was just a jealous- (He has my name and mum's name in an old script which is ironic because he's no longer in our life) Taste and personal preference is fine, but you should want your spouse to express themself and do things that make them happy, you know? Mum and I both have tattoos and we both share the excitement when one of us books an appointment XP
I got my left underarm sleeve done by an artist, I would never go to again and I really don’t like my sleeve at all. I looked at tattoos she has done before in her books and I have seen a big one she has done on a friend of my dad. They all looked good. So told her what I wanted and she said that we have to change some things a little bit and that was fine with me. She puts the stencil down for some things and said she would free hand some of the other things ( I have some Harry Potter related things combined with roses and she free handed some of the roses). I told her I don’t want big gaps between everything and she said that there won’t be any when she’s done. Fast forward to the end of the session I get to look at my tattoo and I was not happy about it at all. The lines are shaky, my time traveler looks like a 8 year old drew it and there are random “shadows” everywhere. With my social anxiety I didn’t have the guts to tell her how unhappy I was and it was obviously to late to change it. So I paid and never went back to her again. 4 years later and I still hate the tattoo and it’s really dark and scared in some places so a cover up could be really difficult.
I have a very similar experience. I selected an artist based on her stellar portfolio on IG. She had an off day on me and you will *not* find the tattoo she gave me on her IG. She went too deep and it was incredibly painful, far more so than any other tattoo I've received. I just paid her and left. It was already done. The tattoo took ages to heal and I don't like it, but there it is. Goes to show that you can still get screwed even if you do your research.
Oh my god! This make up look with the pink all around your eyes... a good friend of mine did a similar look for a bit in 10th grade. (early 00's scene kid style) I'm havin flashbacks! Lol! I always thought she pulled it off flawlessly.
Yeah so...I have a tattoo an artist I went to started, it's the huge blue one like in my photo...my artist did the stencil and colored half my tattoo...it healed up and I made an appointment for another session with him, I also informed him that a few spots either didn't keep the color or wasn't saturated enough because it was faded and some lines disappeared (which near my elbow I'm not surprised)...mind you he's done 6 of my 13 tattoos so obviously I know how to care for them and they heal perfectly... continuing...he blamed me for the color missing, trying to tell me that I didn't care for it correctly...AND he went to color some more of my tattoo and didn't inform me that the ink he used was different color that what we originally started coloring mine in because he was out of that color...he just went ahead and did it...I paid him and left that session annoyed and frustrated...still haven't finished it because I need someone to fix it and get to find an artist that would...crazy
FWIW he may have used the same ink. A lot of tattoo inks can actually change formulas so the artist often needs to check if it’s actually the same. Pretty frustrating fact!
I 100% agree this dude's gaslighting the poor girl. I wish I could see it, my Great Grandpa was navy and I drew my own tattoo that I want to get for him with an anchor and these really pretty flowers in his favorite color pink, he passed a few years ago when I was a freshman in HS of cancer and I've missed him so much since. I want to get it but haven't yet, anyways back to this she shouldn't be upset with it. It's her tattoo and I bet it's beautiful!
I am going to get the electron configuration of copper as a memorial tattoo for my gramps. I'm a chem nerd, he's been a chemical engineer all my life, we used to strip copper wires together, so I think it's hi-key rad as hell. I told my bff at the time and they told me it was the tackiest thing they ever heard. They're no longer my bff for many reasons, but that def added to the disdain.
My husband has had 2 people already touch the piece on his back first guy messed up the outline mainly because he didn't even finish it but said it was done. So to prevent it from getting worse he went to a different guy who said he could fix it and finish the piece. Its been a few years and its still not finished because the second guy just basically used color no dimension or shading and it still isn't anywhere what my husband wants. So once we find an artist who can definitely fix and finish it we will. Sooo in my opinion definitely not an asshole for going to a different artist that made a permanent piece perfect for them.
I love you!!! Your videos are some of the few I can watch straight through without losing interest! I love your content and personality, don’t feel the need to explain or apologize for putting out content that your followers clearly love and keep coming back for!! 🥰
You are never an asshole lauren that person should always support your wife in case so long as it not negative love your views on these types of videos (he is an asshole ) love you Lauren interesting video
Had a few AITA moments with housemates in recent months 😬 When energy and pain allows me I will look for new place 1. Definitely the a.h 🤦🏼 Conflicted with the 2&3 I’m getting a little impulse tattoo this week It’s an artist who I’ve worked with before, it was a cute flash piece - line work. It has a tea/coffee cup and creature sitting in it. So I can relate
With 1 though I don’t think any of them are in the wrong. The guy is more so but it’s likely he’s looking out for her or just worried about her. It really depends.
The first one is absolutely an asshole, because -from what I understood- it's like she had to lie to him about what she was going to get (bc I think she knew it before what her tattoo would have looked like), but when she got home, she had to feel insulted by her husband that doesn't understand that he doesn't own his wife. He could have said "it's not my cup of tea, but as long as you're happy with it, I'm good". But no, he choose to be controlling over her, trying to make her feel guilty of something HE didn't like. The last one is not an asshole at all, I mean, she did pay anyway even if she didn't like how it was turning out, but the positive side of this horrible experience is that mistakes like this are extremely important to artists so that they can understand what they should improve and what they should stop doing.... of course the artist was offendend, but at least she didn't ruin her body permanently
Wow I'm here early!! Hello from Australia!! I want to get my hand and forearm tattooed. As a cashier I'm constantly touching stuff and stuff touched my arm. How many days off work do I need to take off to care for a fresh healing tattoo? Also considering a front thigh tattoo just above the knee, I wear tight black work pants, how many days off do u recommend Not wearing tight work pants on new tattoo?
If you don’t want to take time off You could use a second skin (dermalize / saniderm) that you keep on your new tattoo for up to 7 days! That will protect the tattoo from the elements. If not I’d say about 4 days then the tattoo should be scabing over / won’t be a open wound! 💖
One thing I've noticed after listening to a few of these is that they always vote OP the asshole is they tell their partner they don't like tattoos, but the partner literally asked??? I don't understand why you would ask someone if they're okay with you getting a tattoo if you're only going to respond well if they say yes. Of course, there is nothing wrong with saying 'hey, I'm going to do this, just so you know' but if you are literally asking their opinion, you can't be mad every time their opinion is not what you wanted.
The third one to me seemed quite bad honestly. It's fine for him to mention once how he feels but if she's gotten a handful of tattoos and he's mention his dislike of the placement every single time that could really wear someone down. Like you said he's not an asshole for having his own opinion but I don't see why he feels the need to voice that opinion every single time she gets an arm tattoo.
I tagged you in like 5 TikTok’s within about 10 minutes yesterday, so sorry if I alarmed you with the spam 😂 I was looking through the tattoo hashtag 😂💀
The man in the first story gives me major red flags🙈 and I dont get the impression that hes worried about her that she got pushed over and got something she didnt want. Because then there would be no need to leave the house I mean wtf.
I literally have this problem now! I really want my tattoo (that I designed fully myself) touched up/reworked by someone else for a few reasons, 1. The guy who did it made me feel uncomfortable and was very arrogant when I said I was going to study art in uni 2. He really messed up the lines on my piece 3. He didn’t listen to me about the placement (I tried to argue but he did the whole “trust me you’ll want it here really” thing and I was a new baby tattooed person and was scared to speak up since he was kinda rude. Plus I’ve moved quite far from there now. Now in this new city no one I’ve gone too will help me fix it or add to it unless I get a complete coverup since someone else started it and I’m really struggling to know what to do. The original design was one I really loved for so many reasons so Im really reluctant to get it covered completely.
i think the first guy is like how i used to be. its not the actual tattoo thats off putting, but the sudden change of someone hes used to seeing a certain way. i had a moment like this where my bf went from shoulder length hair to having it fully shaved off, and i was panicking a little myself. but over time i got used to it and realized it was a ridiculous thing to worry about. a physical change does not mean a personality change, its the same person you love, even with some extra ink or different hair. i think he still hasnt quite learned that lesson yet.
I got my knee tattooed about a year ago and it ended up not being on par with my artist's skill level. This was my third tattoo by him so I trusted him through the process and wasn't concerned when he made it so dark. I was thinking he probably did that because it's on my knee and bound to fade quicker than other tattoos I have. Once it was healed it looked more like a gray blob on my knee than anything and the shading was quite messy. I know the more time passes the more it will change so I never said anything to him about disliking it but I have yet to see him for anything else and have since found a new artist
I wonder if sometimes, too, the stencils can seem way more detailed than they look at the end. And for me, getting a tattoo is so meditative, I can see not getting upset about it until way later. I don’t have any terrible work but still, I do have ones I regret more as time goes on. So I kind of get not complaining about the tattoo until a little later. Whether that be days, weeks, years. Idk.
On the subject of never going back to specific artists, there's one in my hometown I likely will never go back to. Not only were we over 45 minutes late getting started because he hadn't drawn it yet, but then once he finished the stencil and put it on me, he decided he needed a smoke and left me alone in the shop for about 20 minutes. I should have left then tbh cause he was wasting my time at that point but I stayed. We started talking while he was working on me and the subject of Covid came up. Obviously, Covid was super hard on tattoo artists but he said "I'm glad people are being treated like people again" while doing my tattoo which was in the Lesbian Pride flag colours. Which he knew because I called it that when I sent him the colour reference and explained how the specific symbol I was getting in those colours was related to Pride and why that was important to me. I didn't say anything for the rest of the appointment aside from thanking him once it was done but I was so uncomfortable that he would say THAT while doing that tattoo that I'm never going back
I have a question for the comment section. My mother passed away in 2014, when I was still a teenager. I have memory issues, and as time has gone on, I've realized I'm forgetting her, more and more as time goes by. I know for a fact that she told us she loved us an obnoxious amount, but I can no longer recall any specific instance of this. At some point, my sister had gotten the words "I love you" in our mother's handwriting tattooed on her wrist, and I would like to get the same tattoo, as it would be really comforting to have that visible reminder every time I saw my wrist. She, however, has forbidden me from getting it, saying she wants it to be unique and I'd be crossing her boundary by doing so. I've tried to think of a way to alter it to respect her wishes while still feeling as meaningful, but I'm struggling to do so. I don't think she has the right to set this as a boundary, given that we have equal claim to our mom's handwriting and words, but I also don't want to ruin our relationship. What do y'all think about it?
My mother died tragically & I have a sister that sounds identical so I more than understand but She didn’t have the right to take something that equally belongs to you BOTH without any consideration for you to begin with or your feelings then decides she also has the right to “forbid you” to your own mothers handwriting. However it seems that she has given you an ultimatum & how you move forward will determine whether you have a relationship with your sister or not. If I was you, I would go to her and tell her “Id never go behind your back & get the tattoo bc I would never hurt you & unfortunately that’s the way you see it but I wish you could see it’s hurting me bc she was my mother to and there is no other hand writing that’s all *we* have & I thought it would be really neat to have a matching tattoo with my sister also” However, with that being said & depending on how genuinely selfish she is, you have every right to your mothers handwriting regardless of what she thinks or feels as she isn’t the only daughter. I’m sure your mother would be very disappointed in her. Maybe you can find other handwriting that says something different bc then she can’t say SHIT. I hope it works out either way. Edit to say, my son just got a beautiful elephant and a ram tattoo (sleeve not finished yet) for my mother bc she drew elephants for her own children ever since we was babies then her grand babies & they have the same bday so both of them are Aries (the ram). Maybe you can get your mothers favorite animal or something very specific & special to her and you then you’ll have something unique. You don’t need your mothers writing to know she loved you & you can remember her in so many beautiful ways..
@@amandakay789 Tysm for replying, people I'm close to have already expressed that I'm not in the wrong on this, but I wanted to hear from people who weren't as concerned about my feelings. XD I already have another tattoo as a memorial to my mom, but I'm hoping this would be a physical reminder of a specific memory I'm trying to hold on to. I suspect my sister already isn't very invested in our relationship, so I'm just going to ask her up front if she wants to continue being a part of my life, and cut my losses if she isn't interested. I'm also going to see if we can have this conversation in therapy, bc I think we're both likely to get really triggered.
I got a terribly done tattoo several years back. Most line work did not hold up and there were several gaps and varying line weights throughout. I did not return to the original artist to get it fixed, because at the end of the session he offered me $10 off my tattoo if I would show him my boobs (keep in mind the tattoo was on the top and front of my shoulder so I was wearing a tank top half off the whole time he tattooed me) I have never been so disgusted in my life. It took me 5 years to step into another tattoo parlor to even fix it even though it pretty much healed poorly right away. :/
For me, the first one is an asshole for being controlling, thinking he has right for their wife's body and bringing her down about it. Second one isn't asshole, because they wasn't trying to be mean, they just didn't know how to stand up before and warned before the tattoo session. Third one is kind off to me, because this shouldn't be a big deal for him, because it's not his body. Last one isn't an asshole, they didn't owed something to the tattoo artist.
I can completely see myself being the girl int he first story. He does sound judgemental but honestly I’m that girl and I feel like I’d cave and be ok with whatever just because I don’t want to be “fussy”. So I think it’s a mix of both there.
I understand the 1st person's point if view.Hes saying it's not what she wanted and couldn't speak up.I would definitely discuss with my partner first what I was getting and want him there for his input which I trust over a strangers
R.E the last one, I’m kinda relived to hear your take on it. I got my second tattoo from a guy in my old home town. I drew it myself and the design means a lot to me. He made me uncomfortable and was kinda arrogant and rude, especially when I mentioned I was going to study art in uni. He also didn’t listen to me when I told him where I wanted the stencil placed (I was a baby back then and since he was kinda rude I was too scared to fight back too much) but I don’t mind that as much as the fact he kinda messed up the line work. It’s shaky in areas and just isn’t what I wanted. I’ve moved since then and I really want it reworked and some of the lines touched up, but any artist I go to at the moment turns me down because it’s someone else’s tattoo (I explained all the above + that it was my design) and that I should go back to him if it needs touching up. I just don’t know whether to risk going back to him… especially since it’s a long way to go and he made me quite uncomfy :(
don't go back to the furst guy. He was rude, disrespectful, made you uncomfortable and you didn't like his work anyway, so there is absolutely no reason for you to go back. These other tattoo "artists" who refused you for having someone else's tattoo (???) are REAL assholes too with too big of an ego, they should be honored that you think so highly of them that you consider them finishing a PERMANENT tattoo that somebody else fucked up. IMO it'd be best if you were a bit more patient and looked for a proper artist who respects you and your choices, rather than just settling with a bad tattoo you'll regret. Definitely wish you good luck and only kind tattoo artists in the future!!!!
@@jubiloks_ Thankyou so much! I’ll keep looking to see if I can find someone else I feel I can trust! It’s honestly so good to know I’m not making a huge tattoo sin that people in the community will look down on 🤣💛
This isn’t necessarily a story about not going back to an artist, technically, but when I was trying to get my first tattoo, the artist I had been talking to ended up scheduling me on a day that the shop was closed altogether, so I didn’t end up getting tattooed by him in the first place.
I had a big back piece done by a buddy of mine that had been tattooing for 14 years (allegedly). She got done with the outline on the right side and I commented that it wasn't what I wanted and she said she misunderstood but would fix it during the gray wash stage. Well 4th session comes and she's ready to do the gray wash on that side, and some how she made it worse. I never went back to have it finished and am now looking to either get it reworked or completely covered.
Lol I have a realism black and grey lion on my thigh that I haven’t finished and it’s been 8 years. 1st the artist put numbing cream on me without asking permission. He overworked my skin and tried to put a tropical flower on me when I wanted a rose. It was for the best that I didn’t return as I am a die hard fan of American traditional now. Also probably going to black work my thigh to hide the monstrosity. However it makes me laugh when I catch a glimpse?
If I were the friend “Sophie”, I would find an artist, explain the elements or wording and say, “Let’s come up with something 10000x better than my ex-friend”.
I've always wanted tattoo but I've also always been too scared to get a tattoo artist that is too pushy and get annoying if I point out any big or small details I don't like or would like to change. So the one going to another artist for the siren, NTA.
![Quando Rondo - Life Goes On [Official Music Video]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/eIf3fhMXAow/mqdefault.jpg)
Apologies for the colour grading in this video, my lights where too bright and my face was completely washed out (more than normal anyway 😂) so tried to correct it as best as I could 💖
I thought it either my screen or my eyes so thanks for letting us know ❤
I think that color wash is actually very pretty, it would just need to have a bit more light and it would be perfect
i was wondering if u have a new filter/edit mode :D
I've just switched phones and thought I'd not set the colour correctly
I think you look great. Love the eyes!
On memorial tatoos being "cliche": ppl need to realise that being unique is not the only thing ppl want out of a tattoo
That one really shocked me because I'd never ever have the gumption to see someone's memorial tattoo and go 'oh that's cliche.'
That's so effing rude in ways I can't articulate?
💯
You wouldn’t say that having a headstone in a graveyard for a loved one or doing a burial at sea for a loved on is “cliché”; how is a memorial tattoo any different?
I listen to a podcast called “OBITCHUARY” and the hosts did a “coffin-spinner” topic segment about memorial tattoos. The underlying reason many people subconsciously get memorial tattoos is the thought that they don’t want to “forget” about their lost loved one as time passes, because grief and mourning the loss of a person brings about the fear of forgetting their existence or their passing as time goes on and the grief settles from taking precedence in your mind when you lose them and when you start “going back to normal functional living” and other executive thoughts start taking precedent post-acceptance of their death. People have the innate fear of forgetting the person they lost following the line of thinking of “out of sight out of mind”. This is why memorial tattoos are very common in the human experience. Just an interesting piece of psychological and sociological fact I found super intriguing!
@@mightymeatymechI can try to articulate why it makes me mad personally. Seeing a memorial tattoo and saying it's cliche is fucked up because that person had someone in their life die and got a tattoo to remember their loved one. Saying a memorial tattoo is cliche is basically calling the dead person unoriginal since the tattoo represents that person. Plus, the tattooed person wasn't trying to be original, they were trying to memorialize a deseased loved one. To see that tattoo, to understand why they have it, and then say it's cliche is just cruel. It's bullying them about how they grieve.
That's the best way I can explain it.
I told my wife that I was planning on getting COVERED in tattoos now that I’m in my mid 30’s. She basically said as long as the cost of tattoos never gets in the way of our supporting our family, go for it. I now have a budget for my tattoos and we are both very excited about the process! The first dude OBVIOUSLY doesn’t know shit about traditional tattoos. Her tattoo sounds dope!
If my husband or wife told me they wanted to be covered in tattoos, I'd be like "hell yeah me too let's do it together" lol
1st one reminded me heavily of my ex, telling themselves they are the "rational" and "level headed" part of the partnership and their partner is "impulsive" and "naive" etc. etc. It's a classic way for a toxic person to justify their controlling and borderline abusive behaviour because they have convinced themselves that their partner needs their help and they are only being nice by offering it. Definitely major red flags with that one.
Exactly, I’ve been in toxic relationships like this, and the recovery time, let me tell you, took a time equal to a haft of our relationship time, so if you see this red flag 🚩 SAVE YOURSELF FROM THESE RELATIONSHIPS ASAP, it won’t get better, you won’t ever change their opinion about you for better, but they can instead hurt your self perception a lot
@@RinaShabanov Even if someone (especially a man) who is "rational" like that is NOT toxic, it's still a pain in the arse to be with. Every single person in this world is emotional and just because you bottle it up and aren't in touch with your needs and feelings, doesn't mean those don't affect your behavior majorly. If that dude was rational, he would have not had a panic attack after his gf's decision and would have agreed that he has no say in her getting a tattoo. Such hypocrisy, I can't even.
"my wife is a people pleasing" SO what you are saying is, instead of getting a tattoo SHE WHANTED she should have listen to you and please you so you wouldnt get upset ? too many red flags in this 1st one, the wife should run away as fast as she can !!!
that's what I was thinking! it just felt like he didn't trust his wife to make this decision
Tattoo artist here. The last OP was 100% in the right to try and get something they would be happy with. Sounds like the girl she initially went to needs to check her goddamn ego and realize--then address--her own artistic weaknesses. Color tattoos are a nearly entirely different animal from black and grey--you need an extremely solid understanding of color theory and color mixing, and ideally plenty of experience with some kind of painting medium. It's tricky, and takes time to figure out. You can tell the difference between someone with good chops for color tattoos and someone without pretty much instantly. And there's no shame in admitting "yeah, I could use more practice in this area before I start getting in over my head with complex, technically difficult pieces." I made that mistake early on on my career, lord knows, but I was charging apprentice rates at the time. Because that's when you figure out where you need to focus your efforts. I would probably be relieved if a client went to someone with more experience to retouch something I had done--because I would have enough self-awareness and humility to recognize that I had screwed the pooch on something. And in the forefront of my mind every day is that the client is the person who has to live with that design for a lifetime, so their happiness is paramount.
As a tattoo artist, when the client checks the stencil in the mirror I expect a reaction from them that tells me that’s what they wanted. And that’s sometimes a very subtle reaction and it’s involuntary. But if you’re experienced enough, you can tell if the client likes it or not. If the client doesn’t show me that reaction , I’ll be pushing them myself to open up about what’s wrong. The last thing i want is them walking out the door thinking they should have asked for something different.
I appreciate that you truly care if they like it or not. That's a sign of a very good artist
I have a lot of tattoos, and now I know I can say no. However, early on I got a large bunch of flowers on my shoulder, and the artist first told me that the flower I chose (hydrangeas) wouldn’t look “natural” and drew lillies instead - I wasn’t sure what he meant but didn’t know how to disagree. I knew from the stencil it wasn’t what I had pictured (and I know now it’s not well done) but I honestly was intimidated enough that I didn’t say anything. I can absolutely see how it can happen. I wouldn’t let it happen now, I know A LOT better, but for certain personalities with certain histories, it’s REALLY difficult to stand up to an aggressive person who you think is an authority.
Wow I had such a similar experience. I wanted sunflowers on my upper arm and the artist told me that that wasn't possible and drew lillies for me instead. I went with it as I thought she knew better. She absolutely messed my arm up and multiple tattoo artists since have told me I could've easily gotten what I wanted... It was an unfortunate way to learn that I can stand up for what I want and that the tattoo artist is not always right.
Honestly this is one of the reasons why it took me so long to get a tattoo.
It's hard for me to say no. I can't even tell my hairdresser if I dislike something.
I was so afraid that I'll get something i don't like because I'm too afraid to say something.
Luckily I found a really nice artist and it was easy to tell her if i didn't like something. I love my tattoo and it was a great experience.
I wanted snowdrops on my arm and the only thing that my tattoo artist suggested was to integrate them into another tattoo. So I ended up with this awesome skunk with the snowdrops and other flowers in the background. He free-handed the snowdrops. I got lucky.
I also had experiences like that when I started getting tattoed. One was my 2nd tattoo ever, I looked up a picture on google and sent it to my (as I know now not very good) artist, saying its inspiration and I don't want it exactly like that. The day came and she just took out a stencil of the picture I sent her as inspiration. I got it covered now.
2nd story I messaged an artist in London (me being from Germany) for a hand sized tattoo that I thought wasn't too detailed. So I arrived in London early in the morning and waited for my appointment. In the studio the artist basically wanted to turn my hand sized tattoo into a full thigh piece because he said it would be too small otherwise. So I asked him how long he thinks it would take as my bus would go late this same evening (when we discussed my plans over mail he never mentioned anything about the size being too small). He got upset and said he wouldn't be able to finish it in the given time frame and that he wouldn't do it in two sessions under any circumstance. I didn't want to leave "empty handed" so after a bit of brainstorming I gave him a different idea. I didn't want to get it from this artist or in his style but I made the trip to London and didn't want it to be for nothing. So he did the tattoo, it was alright but not what I wantet. Its heavily scared too, I assume because he was annoyed by the situation just like I was. I still got the tattoo but I'm not happy with it.
@@MelBlackMuffin oh thats so terrible! This is honestly why I'm scared to go to an artist outside my country.
Having tattoos you're not happy with sucks because secretly I want to get it removed but because it isn't hideous I'm second guessing everything. I know I'd be happier with something else on my arm but also am I going to go through the entire laser removal thing for this???
third guy said he talks about how he doesn't like arm tattoos every time she gets a new one (if I heard correctly ?) she doesn't need to be reminded of it every single time imagine how shitty that would make her feel... You can have an opinion but you don't have to voice it !
I haven’t been back to a specific tattoo parlor because they made me an appointment with an apprentice for my first tattoo, and the guy went to deep so I thought that was just how my tats were gonna look and feel. But I got another one done by someone else at another shop and I didn’t feel like they were digging my skin out nor did it get blowouts. Not really the parlors fault, just felt like as someone getting their first tattoo, I should be with a professional, not an apprentice still working on getting a certain amount of clients
My first tattoo was an apprentice too! Completely overworked the skin and now I have a scarred raised blown out tattoo. The shop owner “supervised”
My first tattoo was an apprentice too. He made an awesome job and all of my tattoos are made by him. I got really lucky ♥xo from Switzerland
I just started getting tattoos and made the conscious decision to have an apprentice build up my arm sleeve. Best desicion ever, she's a great artist overall so I got pieces from her personal portfolio and months later, they look even better than they looked fresh. I'm so sorry your experience was bad, I hope they at least compensated you or charged you with the appropriate rate.
these MEN! I cannot! Your wife's body is not your property PERIODT.
I can get a person being initially shocked upon seeing a tattoo and calming down later.
After getting my leg injury, there were a few days when I was panicked about how I’d have this large scar on my leg. But a few days later it’s fine.
I get where you’re coming from but nah.. people shouldn’t really be “shocked” by what someone else has on their body. 👻
I think it's one thing to be shocked, but it's another thing to not keep that to yourself, or at least air it out to someone that won't be personally affected by it until you've calmed down.
The back tattoo: I have one in the same type of position and size. 1/4 of my back, up on the shoulder. My artist not only got me to look in the mirror, and get the opinion of my mate, but offered to take a pic with his phone.
Also, the sleeve one where the partner doesn't care for tattoos. He'll stop noticing them. My husband isn't a fan of tattoos, I am tatted. I asked him how he felt and he said he had planned to just ignore them but now he sees them as part of me. They are on the same line as my freckles. When I get a new one he notices, recognises it as nice art, but once it's healed and his had time its just me.
This is his how my boyfriend feels. He never really didn’t like tattoos but he never personally wanted one or cared for them; until he saw me with all my tattoos and how happy I would be to get a new one and show off my body/tattoos. “He just sees them as me.” I absolutely love and relate to that.
Situation 1: yes he is the asshole, and to be honest he sounds like he's an asshole in general, not just this instance
Situation 2: need more information, the way she writes the story I'd say no she is not. However, the part where her friend says she feels like she went behind her back to get it done without her in the first place leads me to believe the friend thought the plan was to get matching tattoos to begin with. She says she didn't think the conversation was serious then, so depending on how that went she could be the asshole
Situation 3: no he's not the asshole. Sounds like he just has a tattoo preference and is respectful expressing his opinion without trying to control hers
Situation 4: no, she is not the asshole, but she kind of handled it in an asshole way. If she wasn't happy with the tattoo she has every right to go elsewhere to get it done in a way that is to her liking. However, she should've gave the original artist the common courtesy of letting them know up front, instead of completing the tattoo, which likely took multiple sessions, all while ignoring the original artists messages. She should have let the original artist know she was going in a different direction so they weren't left wondering when they were going to be finishing the tattoo
I got my first tattoo done by a shop about an hour away from my house, and while I love the meaning behind it, the actual tattoo is kinda trash. It's blown out and sloppy and still raised three years later (my brother made the appointment and paid so I probably can't be toooo mad, but still). So the next time I wanted a tattoo, I messaged the same shop and made an appointment with a different artist there. We discussed everything, and the guy said he'd send me an email with info so I could put down a deposit and confirm the appointment. After a couple days, I hadn't received an email, so I messaged him back and asked him to please send an email so I could put down the deposit. The guy said okay but yet I never received an email. Well, a few days later my entire family got covid and I had to cancel. He was nice about it, and a few weeks later when things were better I messaged him back and we rescheduled and he said he'd send me an email so I could put in a deposit. Well days pass, no email, I message again, he says he'll send one, days later, still no email, I message again, he says he'll send one, he just. never. does. So I ended up blocking the shop and never showing up for my appointment. If I even ever had an appointment...I never put in a deposit and therefore never got an actual confirmation that I had an appointment. I booked with someone else (who I now have gone to seven times and love) and when we were done she posted a picture of my tattoo on instagram. The artist from the previous shop messaged me on instagram and asked why I never showed and blocked the shop, but I never even opened the message. I've told many people (people without tattoos and highly tatted people, and my current artist) and every single one of them agree I'm not the asshole. I still feel bad about it to this day, and looking back, I definitely could've been more mature about it and told them I no longer wanted to work with them since they basically refused to send a deposit (which imo is unprofessional, especially after I asked so many times) but I also feel like I'm not the asshole in this situation.
Could it’s have been the wrong email? Or going to spam folder?
Blocking them seems like a little much, but no one can fault you for going elsewhere
As a people pleaser, and someone too afraid to speak my opinion it is nice to have a voice of reason at times. So I get what he is saying.
Same. It’s really hard to know if he’s actually being honest or just is really good at twisting it to fit his narrative because either one seems believable to me honestly…
Having your first tattoo can be intimidating, and it is easy to just go along with it and not want to upset the artist. I know I felt like that at first … and it was just a shock for the husband. I think he would have been unreasonable if he hadn’t been open to talk and adjust his opinion from listening to her, but he did listen and has realised it’s not the end of the world.
For the last one: I'm in progress of having my sleeve finished by a different artist. I've had unfinished outlines on my arm for around 7-8 years now... I moved out of the state where my friend (tattoo artist) did the tattoo. I did try to ask a few years back if he would be coming out to a tattoo convention that he had attended before that is in a neighboring state to my current state. He said "maybe next year" and nothing since. I got tired of having an unfinished arm so I went to a new shop and tbh my new artist did wayyy more amazing work than what my friend could do. No offense to my friend but he has a certain style (more new school based now) that just didn't work with what I wanted my sleeve filler turned into.
On the second one, I’m really curious to know what the tattoo is. If they had the same idea, then is it really that unique? Or did the OP have the idea and Sophie just said “Oh yeah that sounds good, I’ll do that too.”? I have a sneaking suspicion that the tattoo isn’t actually unique at all. I could be totally wrong, but I’ve never met anyone that would see or hear someone’s idea for a totally unique and personal tattoo and just say “Yep, I’ll have the same”.
You’d be surprised, people with that sense of entitlement are pretty common on AITA. Stealing baby names is something in a similar vein that comes up a lot.
I'm super curious too! But it makes me think of a school friend of mine who jumps on other peoples ideas and will say 'omg I've wanted that for ages'. A mutual friend made the unfortunate mistake of mentioning the tattoo idea she was getting (her first), and the girl jumped in to say she'd been thinking about getting it for ages, then had the audacity to book in with the same artist and request the same idea, which meant she ended up with a somewhat similar tattoo as they had a pretty distinct style. I've made sure to never mention anything in her presence, but it's disappointing that some peoples mindsets are like that (keep in mind this girl probably has 20+ tattoos so I would have hoped she had a better grasp on tattoo etiquette).
@@thedestroyasystem what does AITA stand for ?
@@juliereminiec4937 am I the asshole, it’s the subreddit Lauren is reading from
I’ve seen it a lot, I guess more before people knew that copying custom (“word for word”) tattoos was stealing artwork
for the second person, it really depends on how that first conversation happened. if they said it was okay and in three years of friendship didn't mention they were not okay anymore, only mentioning it once they've booked the appointment IS kind of an asshole move. Like c'mon in three years ??? But also she's the ah for wanting a copy of another person's tattoo and putting her friend back into a corner (when she said it would be strange, she should've backed off). ESH !
I was thinking the same thing. The person agreed to letting her get the tattoo (how similar, we don't know, but hopefully not an exact copy) 3 years passes and they never said "I changed my mind, don't get it." It's fine to change your mind, but you have to voice it! She had already booked the appointment and then suddenly getting a "no I don't want you to" the day before honestly would not have stopped me if I was the one getting tattooed... Maybe she had already paid a big deposit to the artist, and usually you have to cancel before the last 24hrs of your appointment. The person had 3 years to say no, but they didn't! That's on them.
I feel like they were pushed into agreeing at first though… OP said she would be uncomfortable with that first but the friend kept asking. If I found out it hadn’t happened yet and had the opportunity to finally speak up for myself properly I would too.
It all depends on what it is exactly. The op never said it was a copy, they just said it was similar and highly specific. So if they got like a narwhal with a crown or something, the friend asked if she could get the same thing.
Depending on the specificity, yeah, she could be an asshole. But if it’s not a copy just the subject matter is the same, then I personally don’t see the friend in the wrong, especially if they’re were given the okay.
For the first one, it read to me like the OP was coming from a position of not wanting his wife to have a tattoo she didn’t want, moreso than not wanting her to have a tattoo. Which I feel is valid, it’s important to be able to talk to your SO about stuff like that and make sure they aren’t secretly upset about having it different than they wanted. Of course this comes from the perspective of someone who has been in the wife’s position, I have severe anxiety but I love piercings. I have knowingly gotten pierced in the wrong spot because I couldn’t bring myself to speak up about it being wrong, then lied about it being fine until I got in the car and started bawling. And as explained in the edits, that sounds like something wife would do as well. So from my perspective, if OP thinks that’s a position wife might’ve been in, it’s completely valid to express concern from that angle, and I’d appreciate that the person closest to me cared to make sure I didn’t feel unable to complain.
YEAH I've agreed to art/placement/sizes I'm not totally happy with because I'm pretty bad at speaking up for myself. In those situations, I would have loved for someone in my corner to ask "hey are you sure? You mentioned you wanted it more like x" so that I could have an 'escape route' if I wanted it.
Totally agree, I’m pretty confident but I find it very difficult to speak up to an aggressive person who I think is an authority and probably (in my mind) knows better than I do.
I totally get what you're saying and I agree, but I felt like the guy sounded like he didn't trust his wife to make this decision? idk I'm really cautious and anxious too, but I wouldn't say this to my significant other
I think a lot of people went into it assuming he was controlling and the asshole, when in reality we don’t know the tattoo and it could just as easily be him being concerned. It’s likely he knows her more than us being that they’re married. I just think an open mind is required for these sort of stories
Maybe if he had said 'oh, I thought you were getting it on your ankle?' Or 'it's bigger than what you described, are you happy with how it turned out?' Instead she asked him to help her clean it, he looked at it, and then just got up and left without saying anything. At that time he didn't know how she felt about it, but she sure knew how he felt about it. That doesn't sound like someone overly worried about their significant others feelings to me.
My first tattoo was in memorial for my mother - three daisies. My second tattoo was a gift from my husband - a moon and sun, so I can remember that we are one no matter our differenses. He is not planing to get any tattoos and I have seven more planned. It's all about support and understanding.
My first tattoo was a Jekyll/Hyde tattoo I drew. It was about 2 inches long and my tattoo artist told me it would look better if it would look better and less cluttered if I let him size it up. I agreed and it looks good.
That first guy… Total control freak!
That first one is a public therapy journal entry, not a question, lol.
Love this as a video idea 👌🏼 the first one made me sad like the husband spoiled something special for his wife because he is controlling. I have been with my girlfriend coming up on ten years and the rule is always if it’s not offensive then it’s your body your choice. I feel like if a picture on you partners skin can make you sour on them then was your relationship that great to start with honestly.
I also understand why the tattoo artist was hurt in the last one- it’s called having your ego bruised lmfao. The artist was forced to realize they aren’t as great as they are in there head when they’re client was dissatisfied & found someone better and instead of humbling themselves they’re lashing out like an arrogant brat to comfort themselves.
There was no betrayal, broken promises, lies of omission, lack of communication or unfairly harsh criticism on part of the client.
What‘s wrong with this husband?! He left the house because his wife got a tattoo the HE does not like? WTF…..
That was honestly the biggest red flag. Same energy as when you’re 7 years old and mommy won’t take you to Disneyland so you “runaway from home” lmaoooo
It really depends on the relationship and person. Some people need to get out and clear their head, they’d rather do that than make a scene acting out of shock. You’re looking at it assuming things when really it could be that he wanted to avoid saying something he didn’t mean
Yeah depends on the person. It could have been the shock from something that was entirely different in his mind. I have really intense emotions so I try to be that rational and cautious person that he was describing. But you can't stop yourself from being triggered in every situation. Walking out was probably his way of going to find a place and a way to calm down and organise his thoughts instead of saying and doing something that might hurt his wife that he then will regret later. heck if I get a nasty trigger I have to go take a couple of sedatives to calm down. Yes, my emotional regulation system is on a toddler trigger. lol!
I understand that some people might be very emotional and need some air to clear their mind and that is totally fine. What I don‘t understand is that his partner changing something about their look does make him feel THAT upset that he had to go out.. It sounds like it’s suuuuuuuuper important to him what she looks like and that her looking good for him is that essential that it makes him leave the house to deal with his emotions. How superficial can someone be???
Yeah when I heard that I thought, it's OK to have an emotional reaction as emotions are involuntary, but leaving without a word and not talking to the wife afterwards seems like a pretty terrible way to approach conflict. Like, at least say, it's not your fault but I need a moment to think away from here
I feel like the first guy's wife was already not knowing how to feel about the tattoo and the husband being too abrupt about it defo made her regret it...
She also just decided to go along to her brother-in-laws appointment(?), it doesn’t sound like she researched the artist or anything. I also don’t understand why an anchor and Grandfather script would be impossible to fit on her ankle.
@@hilarys3405 yeah at first I thought she wanted a micro portrait which is why biggering it wasn't a bad idea but a little ribbon and anchor is 100% doable I wonder how big it is now wish they posted a pic !
the guy from the first one is 🚩🚩🚩 he sounds controlling, hot & cold, and honestly quite manipulative. he even describes his wife as literally avoiding him so she doesn’t make him mad. DIVORCE BABE
I understand the first guy saying he wishes he was there to be a voice of reason. Some tattoo artists will convince people to put a tattoo in a larger area even if its not necessary, and i think he believes thats whats happened here and shes too embarrassed to say so. Hopefully she loves it and thats all that matters at the end of the day.
The first one is so cringey. Why would you marry someone if you think they’re SO stupid that they can’t make simple decisions without you to be “the voice of reason”? If you think you’re SO smart that you’re the singular voice of reason in the world, why would you want to marry a ‘mere mortal’ lmao
Yeah, that was the impression I got from that part too. Plus, the bit where he saw the tattoo and straight-up left the house and didn't come back all day makes it sound like he throws temper tantrums, which could be something he uses to manipulate her. IDK this for sure, obviously, but it's definitely questionable.
I think they were more looking out for them than insulting them? I don’t agree with their side completely but it sounds like she may be more likely to not speak up and if he knows this could be an issue then what he’s saying is that he could’ve given her the confidence to get it exactly how she wanted. We don’t know what these people are like or their relationship. I think it’s quite close minded to just assume he’s a controlling a.h, if you ignore your assumptions then there’s many reasons for this mans reaction and explanation. Good and bad
@@Alicein4711 or he’s clearing his head and he’s left to stop himself saying something he’ll regret and not mean. In which case the best thing to do would be leave, calm down and then be able to voice your true opinions and comfort each other. Or you’re right. We will never know, I just think there’s so many reasons for this that would instead make it sound like an adult thing to do. As opposed to getting angry etc. Not everyone would be able to instantly be calm and process everything, some people need some time and space
What I love(/s) about first guy is that he never mentions if she is happy or not with her tattoo in the original post, it's all about his taste for his wife. People had to ask him to have a little mention in the edit. 😅😅😅😅
I'm loving this make up so much 💜✨
With the first one, I can absolutely see someone who is a people pleaser like me could be talked into getting a tattoo that is much bigger than they wanted it to be. Imagine, there’s a line of people waiting or the artist only has a certain amount of time, they say they can only do the tattoo if it’s the bigger size, you can’t quite get a good look at it in the mirror, but your bro in law is like “it looks great! Nah it’s not even that big! Just get it, come on!” And you have wanted this tattoo for years and never got around to it so it feels like if you don’t get it now you never will, and maybe you have a hard time making decisions so you get decision paralysis and that makes it all worse so to just be done with the anxiety of deciding you just trust what the two people trying to convince you to get a tattoo are saying and worry about it later. Then they start the tattoo and you already feel it in your gut that you shouldn’t have just done whatever they said but it’s too late now to change it; they’ve already started tattooing. And yeah. I think it’s possible that instead of the husband telling her she didn’t want it that size, the artist and her bro in law possibly told her she did want it that size. Also I think he meant that that tattoo that his wife got specifically didn’t have fine detail work, so it probably didn’t _have_ to be that big but that maybe the artist just said that because they aren’t confident in doing smaller scale pieces or wanted more money for the bigger tat or wanted to have a bigger piece of his art on her because of ego or something.
To be fair, I am fascinated by tattoos, and the process, but I don’t have any myself; partly because I am so indecisive. This is just another possible way to think of it. I do agree that there are some red flags in what the guy said, tho.
Nobody was going to get out of that last one without some bad feelings. From the artist's point of view I totally get that it would sting for a client to leave and say your work isn't good enough. But the client made the right decision. Bc what else could she do, go through w finishing the tattoo in a way she would hate forever just for the sake of not being rude to the artist?
Love this series so much! For that last one, I feel badly for both parties. The client's communication probably should have been a bit more direct and upfront (no one likes being ignored over text, especially by a client) but, ultimately, the client has to walk around with that tattoo forever... they should be able to be proud of what's on their body.
Love listening to these!! And that eye makeup is absolutely bomb!
The last one is the toughest for me. I’m not a tattoo artist but I am a digital artist and it’s highly disrespectful to have anyone mess with your art. When you draw you pull a piece of your imagination out and put it on the page so every piece you draw is highly personal. Yes, they paid for all the work up to that point so their transaction was complete but that’s still that tattoo artist’s heart, soul, and talent poured into that tattoo. To have someone else finish it is like spitting on their work. It’s totally disrespectful.
But on the other side, it’s OP’s body and they have to live with that tattoo for the rest of their life so they should get the tattoo done the way they want it done. It’s like 50/50 for me, I can’t decide 😂
I feel like no matter how much effort you put into a piece of art, especially a tattoo, if you are not able to do it in the manner requested then you need to take a step back and check your ego. Tattoos are forever, and clearly she did not have the skills to complete it properly. No one should have to live with a tattoo that isn’t done right just because of an artist. I get that art is personal and you do put effort into it, but as a tattoo artist they need to understand that their vision for it is not the important one, it’s the clients. In no way is the client the asshole.
You're just biased. The client is the one who has to live with the art - if it's not what they want and they've paid for everything they should have, no one cares about your imagination and how "highly personal" something you draw is. Sometimes you're just not good enough, no matter how hard you try and it sounds like the first artist has a bit of an ego problem.
I can’t imagine how awful that must feel as an artist to see work you did being changed by someone else in a style you didn’t intend, but I feel like as a tattoo artist thats just something you have to learn to deal with from time to time. Art is a heavily personal thing but in my opinión when you choose to work in a medium that permanently alters another persons body you have to be willing to give up a lot of that control.
i agree with your statement about messing with original art but i feel like with tattoos it’s a lot different since they’re going to be on skin forever. the tattoo artist in that case was not yet very experienced, it sounds like they are a great artist on paper who can’t get their designs to translate properly on skin. the client loved the design they were presented, but the artist probably didn’t have the skill necessary to tattoo it as is and didn’t want to admit it, so the client not only was in the right but made a very good call to save their own skin.
in my opinion as both an artist and a tattoed person, if you only have a couple years experience you probably should listen to critiques and advice instead of giving the “trust me i’m a pro” talk to your clients.
With going to a walk in appointment it can be difficult to express yourself when dealing with placement or details vs a planned and scheduled appointment where you know that the artist has time for you to be choosey. You always have the right to express your desires when getting a tattoo but as someone who avoids conflict I understand how it can be intimidating
OMG the one about a friend getting the same tattoo. This happened to me in college...
I have a bio hazard tattoo on my right wrist that is just black. Then one day she just comes in with the same one acting like it was no biggy. I mentioned it to them and they said that they thought i would be flattered that they liked mine so much that they got it too. I told her that i was kinda upset but okay whatever.
Then she continued to copy me, she changed her major to mine like a week later. Then when my BF and i broke up, she moved on into him and got married to him! (Laughed because it only lasted a couple months before they got a divorce.)
But yeah having someone want the same tattoo as you i think is upsetting and kinda sucks. You can have a similar one but make it different please!
Will there be more Yasmin and Lauren vlogs? You guys are friends goals!
You should do a video where you read out our stories!! I feel like that would be so fun and interactive for us as subscribers, and boy oh boy do I have plenty of tattoo stories..
The last person is 100% in the right to go to a new artist. It doesn’t matter if the artist is offended, they aren’t the one who has to live with the ink on their body for the rest of their life. I myself have a botched half sleeve from an artist that made so many promises on what he could do. Sat through two sessions over three hours each, and it just looks awful. Rather than go back to him I’ve now begun the process of getting it laser removed. I don’t owe the artist an explanation whatsoever, much less another session for him to further screw up my skin. He misrepresented his abilities to me. He also wouldn’t shut up about the drugs he uses and wasted tons of time during my sessions talking with other people in the shop while I was laying there paying by the hour. You’re right that there is usually a good reason people decide to go elsewhere to fix or finish their tattoos.
Lauren I just wanted to thank you for being you, your videos are one of the extremely few things that can take my mind off my anxiety I have been struggling a lot with the past weeks ❤️ I love you!
i LOVE this series laurennnn
Regarding the last person, I wish I could've been like them when I got my first tattoo done and wasn't happy with the result.
I was around 18-19 and my first tattoo was a potrait. I wanted a specific style and even though it looked all right it didn't quite measure up to my expectations.
I didn't have the nerve to tell my artist so right after it was done I just remember getting anxiety about it and regretting my choices. 😬
It's been 8 years and though I don't mind it now I have learned my lesson to research artists properly and to actually be honest with what I feel so I don't put myself in that position again. As for the tattoo, I'll get rid of it somehow when I've figured out what I want to do with it. 😅
I understand that someone else finishing your art stings... but in this particular art form your canvas is alive and will carry the tattoo until the end of their days. So I think how the customer feels takes priority here.
For the one about the guy with the wife with the arm tattoos--need more information. Did she *ask* for his opinion on her tattoos and choices? If not, then he didn't need to say it. It's kind of shitty if your partner likes something and it doesn't affect you at all but you still feel the need to tell them you don't like it.
Loving the bold eye with nude lip! What lip color/product is that? Looks amaze!
It’s makeup revolution matte bomb in the shade Nude Charm 😄
Relating to the first story, yeah I got my inner forearm done last week and my artist still had me also check it in the mirror even though I could just see it easily. They make Damn Sure you know what you're getting if they're at all good.
I have a tattoo on the outer part of my arm (can't see on its entirety unless on a mirror). My sweet, sweet tattoo artist had me look to the mirror several times, gave me plenty of time to contemplate on it and although we changed the placement, I didn't realize the size of it till I got it done (I would probably go a size smaller, not that it's the end of the world). So I can definitely see how the wife may have not realized the actual size of the piece.
(Also we do forget that some tattoo artists will persuade you to go much, much bigger than what you want, because they have a personal vendetta with small, cute tattoos for some reason.)
Imo telling your partner every time they get an arm tattoo that you don’t like arm tattoos, even if it is just his opinion feels unnecessary and rude. It feels like subtle manipulation, he tells her every single time she may start feeling bad about her choices even though she’s happy with them.
9:37 yes that makes a lot of sense because sometimes my bf will wear something I personally don’t like but I will always let him know he looks great because I know he cares about my opinion I never want him to doubt himself.
your makeup is stunning !!!
I remember when my mum got her back tattoo- she had small tattoos before that one, but her back one is this big, beautiful lotus flower. I love it, she loves it.
She showed my *male parent* and he was like "oh, you've got something on your shoulders" (basically a sarcastic "oh, you've got a mark there, bit of ink maybe?")
The first one reminded me of that, except my dad has tattoos himself so, it wasn't anything to do with the tattoo, he was just a jealous-
(He has my name and mum's name in an old script which is ironic because he's no longer in our life)
Taste and personal preference is fine, but you should want your spouse to express themself and do things that make them happy, you know? Mum and I both have tattoos and we both share the excitement when one of us books an appointment XP
I got my left underarm sleeve done by an artist, I would never go to again and I really don’t like my sleeve at all.
I looked at tattoos she has done before in her books and I have seen a big one she has done on a friend of my dad. They all looked good.
So told her what I wanted and she said that we have to change some things a little bit and that was fine with me. She puts the stencil down for some things and said she would free hand some of the other things ( I have some Harry Potter related things combined with roses and she free handed some of the roses). I told her I don’t want big gaps between everything and she said that there won’t be any when she’s done.
Fast forward to the end of the session I get to look at my tattoo and I was not happy about it at all. The lines are shaky, my time traveler looks like a 8 year old drew it and there are random “shadows” everywhere. With my social anxiety I didn’t have the guts to tell her how unhappy I was and it was obviously to late to change it. So I paid and never went back to her again.
4 years later and I still hate the tattoo and it’s really dark and scared in some places so a cover up could be really difficult.
I have a very similar experience. I selected an artist based on her stellar portfolio on IG. She had an off day on me and you will *not* find the tattoo she gave me on her IG. She went too deep and it was incredibly painful, far more so than any other tattoo I've received. I just paid her and left. It was already done. The tattoo took ages to heal and I don't like it, but there it is. Goes to show that you can still get screwed even if you do your research.
The ✨ a e s t h e t i c ✨ is strong today
I’m probably never going to date anyone without tattoos again.
Oh my god! This make up look with the pink all around your eyes... a good friend of mine did a similar look for a bit in 10th grade. (early 00's scene kid style) I'm havin flashbacks! Lol! I always thought she pulled it off flawlessly.
Yeah so...I have a tattoo an artist I went to started, it's the huge blue one like in my photo...my artist did the stencil and colored half my tattoo...it healed up and I made an appointment for another session with him, I also informed him that a few spots either didn't keep the color or wasn't saturated enough because it was faded and some lines disappeared (which near my elbow I'm not surprised)...mind you he's done 6 of my 13 tattoos so obviously I know how to care for them and they heal perfectly... continuing...he blamed me for the color missing, trying to tell me that I didn't care for it correctly...AND he went to color some more of my tattoo and didn't inform me that the ink he used was different color that what we originally started coloring mine in because he was out of that color...he just went ahead and did it...I paid him and left that session annoyed and frustrated...still haven't finished it because I need someone to fix it and get to find an artist that would...crazy
FWIW he may have used the same ink. A lot of tattoo inks can actually change formulas so the artist often needs to check if it’s actually the same. Pretty frustrating fact!
@@thenopedetective he told me afterwards when I asked about the color difference that it was wrong color
LAUREN YOUR MAKEUP LOOKS SO FIRE OMG
I 100% agree this dude's gaslighting the poor girl. I wish I could see it, my Great Grandpa was navy and I drew my own tattoo that I want to get for him with an anchor and these really pretty flowers in his favorite color pink, he passed a few years ago when I was a freshman in HS of cancer and I've missed him so much since. I want to get it but haven't yet, anyways back to this she shouldn't be upset with it. It's her tattoo and I bet it's beautiful!
I am going to get the electron configuration of copper as a memorial tattoo for my gramps. I'm a chem nerd, he's been a chemical engineer all my life, we used to strip copper wires together, so I think it's hi-key rad as hell. I told my bff at the time and they told me it was the tackiest thing they ever heard. They're no longer my bff for many reasons, but that def added to the disdain.
My husband has had 2 people already touch the piece on his back first guy messed up the outline mainly because he didn't even finish it but said it was done. So to prevent it from getting worse he went to a different guy who said he could fix it and finish the piece. Its been a few years and its still not finished because the second guy just basically used color no dimension or shading and it still isn't anywhere what my husband wants. So once we find an artist who can definitely fix and finish it we will. Sooo in my opinion definitely not an asshole for going to a different artist that made a permanent piece perfect for them.
I love you!!! Your videos are some of the few I can watch straight through without losing interest! I love your content and personality, don’t feel the need to explain or apologize for putting out content that your followers clearly love and keep coming back for!! 🥰
You are never an asshole lauren that person should always support your wife in case so long as it not negative love your views on these types of videos (he is an asshole ) love you Lauren interesting video
Had a few AITA moments with housemates in recent months 😬
When energy and pain allows me I will look for new place
1. Definitely the a.h 🤦🏼
Conflicted with the 2&3
I’m getting a little impulse tattoo this week
It’s an artist who I’ve worked with before, it was a cute flash piece - line work. It has a tea/coffee cup and creature sitting in it. So I can relate
With 1 though I don’t think any of them are in the wrong. The guy is more so but it’s likely he’s looking out for her or just worried about her. It really depends.
I was just going to say it's not complaining when you tell your artist what you want and what you don't want, when you just said that too.
The first one just based on the title is my everyday life 😅 , husband doesn't like any of my tattoos
more AITA please !!
I agree on the memorial tattoo; it can be anything. I want to get one that's the tree my grandfather planted. no dates or names, just the tree I love.
I LOVE THESEEEE please do more AITA videos- super entertaining :)
The first one is absolutely an asshole, because -from what I understood- it's like she had to lie to him about what she was going to get (bc I think she knew it before what her tattoo would have looked like), but when she got home, she had to feel insulted by her husband that doesn't understand that he doesn't own his wife. He could have said "it's not my cup of tea, but as long as you're happy with it, I'm good". But no, he choose to be controlling over her, trying to make her feel guilty of something HE didn't like.
The last one is not an asshole at all, I mean, she did pay anyway even if she didn't like how it was turning out, but the positive side of this horrible experience is that mistakes like this are extremely important to artists so that they can understand what they should improve and what they should stop doing.... of course the artist was offendend, but at least she didn't ruin her body permanently
Wow I'm here early!! Hello from Australia!!
I want to get my hand and forearm tattooed. As a cashier I'm constantly touching stuff and stuff touched my arm.
How many days off work do I need to take off to care for a fresh healing tattoo?
Also considering a front thigh tattoo just above the knee, I wear tight black work pants, how many days off do u recommend Not wearing tight work pants on new tattoo?
If you don’t want to take time off You could use a second skin (dermalize / saniderm) that you keep on your new tattoo for up to 7 days! That will protect the tattoo from the elements. If not I’d say about 4 days then the tattoo should be scabing over / won’t be a open wound! 💖
@@treacletatts Thanks so much much Lauren!! That might be good to protect it from my children too
Loving this miniseries! And your whole account tbh ♥️♥️♥️ thanks for being you
One thing I've noticed after listening to a few of these is that they always vote OP the asshole is they tell their partner they don't like tattoos, but the partner literally asked??? I don't understand why you would ask someone if they're okay with you getting a tattoo if you're only going to respond well if they say yes. Of course, there is nothing wrong with saying 'hey, I'm going to do this, just so you know' but if you are literally asking their opinion, you can't be mad every time their opinion is not what you wanted.
The third one to me seemed quite bad honestly. It's fine for him to mention once how he feels but if she's gotten a handful of tattoos and he's mention his dislike of the placement every single time that could really wear someone down. Like you said he's not an asshole for having his own opinion but I don't see why he feels the need to voice that opinion every single time she gets an arm tattoo.
ugh your make up always looks so good!!! 🥰
I tagged you in like 5 TikTok’s within about 10 minutes yesterday, so sorry if I alarmed you with the spam 😂 I was looking through the tattoo hashtag 😂💀
The man in the first story gives me major red flags🙈 and I dont get the impression that hes worried about her that she got pushed over and got something she didnt want. Because then there would be no need to leave the house I mean wtf.
The one person is lucky someone else finished the tattoo. Some artists have a strict policy of not touching other artists work, finished or not.
I literally have this problem now! I really want my tattoo (that I designed fully myself) touched up/reworked by someone else for a few reasons, 1. The guy who did it made me feel uncomfortable and was very arrogant when I said I was going to study art in uni 2. He really messed up the lines on my piece 3. He didn’t listen to me about the placement (I tried to argue but he did the whole “trust me you’ll want it here really” thing and I was a new baby tattooed person and was scared to speak up since he was kinda rude. Plus I’ve moved quite far from there now. Now in this new city no one I’ve gone too will help me fix it or add to it unless I get a complete coverup since someone else started it and I’m really struggling to know what to do. The original design was one I really loved for so many reasons so Im really reluctant to get it covered completely.
i think the first guy is like how i used to be. its not the actual tattoo thats off putting, but the sudden change of someone hes used to seeing a certain way. i had a moment like this where my bf went from shoulder length hair to having it fully shaved off, and i was panicking a little myself. but over time i got used to it and realized it was a ridiculous thing to worry about. a physical change does not mean a personality change, its the same person you love, even with some extra ink or different hair. i think he still hasnt quite learned that lesson yet.
Love these AITA videos! i would love to see more x
I got my knee tattooed about a year ago and it ended up not being on par with my artist's skill level. This was my third tattoo by him so I trusted him through the process and wasn't concerned when he made it so dark. I was thinking he probably did that because it's on my knee and bound to fade quicker than other tattoos I have. Once it was healed it looked more like a gray blob on my knee than anything and the shading was quite messy. I know the more time passes the more it will change so I never said anything to him about disliking it but I have yet to see him for anything else and have since found a new artist
I love your makeup today! oh, and the video!!! lol
I wonder if sometimes, too, the stencils can seem way more detailed than they look at the end. And for me, getting a tattoo is so meditative, I can see not getting upset about it until way later. I don’t have any terrible work but still, I do have ones I regret more as time goes on. So I kind of get not complaining about the tattoo until a little later. Whether that be days, weeks, years. Idk.
Somethings bring out who people really are n unfortunately that is shitty.
On the subject of never going back to specific artists, there's one in my hometown I likely will never go back to. Not only were we over 45 minutes late getting started because he hadn't drawn it yet, but then once he finished the stencil and put it on me, he decided he needed a smoke and left me alone in the shop for about 20 minutes. I should have left then tbh cause he was wasting my time at that point but I stayed. We started talking while he was working on me and the subject of Covid came up. Obviously, Covid was super hard on tattoo artists but he said "I'm glad people are being treated like people again" while doing my tattoo which was in the Lesbian Pride flag colours. Which he knew because I called it that when I sent him the colour reference and explained how the specific symbol I was getting in those colours was related to Pride and why that was important to me. I didn't say anything for the rest of the appointment aside from thanking him once it was done but I was so uncomfortable that he would say THAT while doing that tattoo that I'm never going back
I have a question for the comment section. My mother passed away in 2014, when I was still a teenager. I have memory issues, and as time has gone on, I've realized I'm forgetting her, more and more as time goes by. I know for a fact that she told us she loved us an obnoxious amount, but I can no longer recall any specific instance of this. At some point, my sister had gotten the words "I love you" in our mother's handwriting tattooed on her wrist, and I would like to get the same tattoo, as it would be really comforting to have that visible reminder every time I saw my wrist. She, however, has forbidden me from getting it, saying she wants it to be unique and I'd be crossing her boundary by doing so. I've tried to think of a way to alter it to respect her wishes while still feeling as meaningful, but I'm struggling to do so. I don't think she has the right to set this as a boundary, given that we have equal claim to our mom's handwriting and words, but I also don't want to ruin our relationship. What do y'all think about it?
My mother died tragically & I have a sister that sounds identical so I more than understand but She didn’t have the right to take something that equally belongs to you BOTH without any consideration for you to begin with or your feelings then decides she also has the right to “forbid you” to your own mothers handwriting. However it seems that she has given you an ultimatum & how you move forward will determine whether you have a relationship with your sister or not. If I was you, I would go to her and tell her “Id never go behind your back & get the tattoo bc I would never hurt you & unfortunately that’s the way you see it but I wish you could see it’s hurting me bc she was my mother to and there is no other hand writing that’s all *we* have & I thought it would be really neat to have a matching tattoo with my sister also”
However, with that being said & depending on how genuinely selfish she is, you have every right to your mothers handwriting regardless of what she thinks or feels as she isn’t the only daughter. I’m sure your mother would be very disappointed in her. Maybe you can find other handwriting that says something different bc then she can’t say SHIT. I hope it works out either way.
Edit to say, my son just got a beautiful elephant and a ram tattoo (sleeve not finished yet) for my mother bc she drew elephants for her own children ever since we was babies then her grand babies & they have the same bday so both of them are Aries (the ram). Maybe you can get your mothers favorite animal or something very specific & special to her and you then you’ll have something unique. You don’t need your mothers writing to know she loved you & you can remember her in so many beautiful ways..
@@amandakay789 Tysm for replying, people I'm close to have already expressed that I'm not in the wrong on this, but I wanted to hear from people who weren't as concerned about my feelings. XD
I already have another tattoo as a memorial to my mom, but I'm hoping this would be a physical reminder of a specific memory I'm trying to hold on to. I suspect my sister already isn't very invested in our relationship, so I'm just going to ask her up front if she wants to continue being a part of my life, and cut my losses if she isn't interested. I'm also going to see if we can have this conversation in therapy, bc I think we're both likely to get really triggered.
I got a terribly done tattoo several years back. Most line work did not hold up and there were several gaps and varying line weights throughout. I did not return to the original artist to get it fixed, because at the end of the session he offered me $10 off my tattoo if I would show him my boobs (keep in mind the tattoo was on the top and front of my shoulder so I was wearing a tank top half off the whole time he tattooed me) I have never been so disgusted in my life. It took me 5 years to step into another tattoo parlor to even fix it even though it pretty much healed poorly right away. :/
For me, the first one is an asshole for being controlling, thinking he has right for their wife's body and bringing her down about it. Second one isn't asshole, because they wasn't trying to be mean, they just didn't know how to stand up before and warned before the tattoo session. Third one is kind off to me, because this shouldn't be a big deal for him, because it's not his body. Last one isn't an asshole, they didn't owed something to the tattoo artist.
I can completely see myself being the girl int he first story. He does sound judgemental but honestly I’m that girl and I feel like I’d cave and be ok with whatever just because I don’t want to be “fussy”. So I think it’s a mix of both there.
I understand the 1st person's point if view.Hes saying it's not what she wanted and couldn't speak up.I would definitely discuss with my partner first what I was getting and want him there for his input which I trust over a strangers
As an artist I can say an anchor and the word grandpa can definitely fit on an ankle..
R.E the last one, I’m kinda relived to hear your take on it. I got my second tattoo from a guy in my old home town. I drew it myself and the design means a lot to me. He made me uncomfortable and was kinda arrogant and rude, especially when I mentioned I was going to study art in uni. He also didn’t listen to me when I told him where I wanted the stencil placed (I was a baby back then and since he was kinda rude I was too scared to fight back too much) but I don’t mind that as much as the fact he kinda messed up the line work. It’s shaky in areas and just isn’t what I wanted. I’ve moved since then and I really want it reworked and some of the lines touched up, but any artist I go to at the moment turns me down because it’s someone else’s tattoo (I explained all the above + that it was my design) and that I should go back to him if it needs touching up. I just don’t know whether to risk going back to him… especially since it’s a long way to go and he made me quite uncomfy :(
don't go back to the furst guy. He was rude, disrespectful, made you uncomfortable and you didn't like his work anyway, so there is absolutely no reason for you to go back. These other tattoo "artists" who refused you for having someone else's tattoo (???) are REAL assholes too with too big of an ego, they should be honored that you think so highly of them that you consider them finishing a PERMANENT tattoo that somebody else fucked up. IMO it'd be best if you were a bit more patient and looked for a proper artist who respects you and your choices, rather than just settling with a bad tattoo you'll regret. Definitely wish you good luck and only kind tattoo artists in the future!!!!
@@jubiloks_ Thankyou so much! I’ll keep looking to see if I can find someone else I feel I can trust! It’s honestly so good to know I’m not making a huge tattoo sin that people in the community will look down on 🤣💛
This isn’t necessarily a story about not going back to an artist, technically, but when I was trying to get my first tattoo, the artist I had been talking to ended up scheduling me on a day that the shop was closed altogether, so I didn’t end up getting tattooed by him in the first place.
I had a big back piece done by a buddy of mine that had been tattooing for 14 years (allegedly). She got done with the outline on the right side and I commented that it wasn't what I wanted and she said she misunderstood but would fix it during the gray wash stage. Well 4th session comes and she's ready to do the gray wash on that side, and some how she made it worse. I never went back to have it finished and am now looking to either get it reworked or completely covered.
Lol I have a realism black and grey lion on my thigh that I haven’t finished and it’s been 8 years. 1st the artist put numbing cream on me without asking permission. He overworked my skin and tried to put a tropical flower on me when I wanted a rose.
It was for the best that I didn’t return as I am a die hard fan of American traditional now. Also probably going to black work my thigh to hide the monstrosity. However it makes me laugh when I catch a glimpse?
If I were the friend “Sophie”, I would find an artist, explain the elements or wording and say, “Let’s come up with something 10000x better than my ex-friend”.
I've always wanted tattoo but I've also always been too scared to get a tattoo artist that is too pushy and get annoying if I point out any big or small details I don't like or would like to change. So the one going to another artist for the siren, NTA.