I'm schizopaffective (depressive). Got diagnosed because the rope broke. Thought I had to sacrifice myself to save the world. I have no idea how I ended up at the hospital. Misdiagnosed for so long it almost cost me my life. Wish it had. Had another psychosis early February this year (2024) and I had, of course, no idea. What's worse is that the psychosis clinic I go to didn't know either. That one could have went badly as I thought my neighbors was trying to break in. They were screaming all hours of the day. I think it lasted 2 weeks. I still can't stand screaming. You are strong to tell this story. I've tried a few times to make something like that. It always fail. And I'm tired of failing at everything thing I do.
2018 was the worst year of my life. I went to therapy for the first time and it was so stressful that I experienced my first psychosis. How comforting to know that I wasn’t the only one struggling. I’m glad you feel better know.
You absolutely were not alone! I had my first "manic episode" in 2018 after my husband told me he no longer loved me. The next thing I knew, I just snapped. Within 6 months, I went and slept with anyone who would sleep with me. (I had only been with one person up to that point). I got 2 DUIS, got arrested like 4 times and had pancreatitis. I don't even remember most of it... That's when I got diagnosed bipolar
Kit, I am so so sorry that you had to live through this. I hope that having your correct diagnosis and medication is helping you never go through something so frightening again. 🙏❤️
Having the diagnosis and the right meds has made a world of difference, to the point where on paper I should never go through it again. I hang onto that when the anxiety kicks in, because I still feel like that episode was yesterday and could come back tomorrow. Thank you for this comment.
Thank you Kit I listen to every word you say and am so grateful to hear someone sharing their experiences. Hard not to feel very alone when reality fractures but you seem very strong and what you are doing feels very healthy
Thank you so much for sharing your stories! I’m 43 and was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder when I was 14. You’ve helped me understand so much about myself and my disorder
I have so much...thankfulness for videos like this. my mother had, what we called in the 1990s, bipolar with psychosis, and she had been raised Irish Catholic. despite ~her~ parents being very mentally ill and dysfunctional, they still went to church seemingly pretty regularly. her first BIG psychotic break after I was born took about 6-7 years to happen, so to me, I was old enough to understand what she was saying and very confused by it all, and it was filled with religious delusions. I have so much empathy for people who experience religious delusions bc of this I think, bc I was highly aware of how it happened and I realized how scary it must be sometimes to fully experience these things happening to you (I have nightmare disorder bc of cPTSD and trauma, and have to go to therapy for what I experience while I'm sleeping bc it feels fully real, so dream or not it's still an experience my brain literally believed was happening to me, something I think is very similar in a lot of ways to delusions) I am very thankful you share your experience bc it allows me to relate to my mother in a way I wasn't able to as the mental illness caused her to move very far away and never return. thank you for making this
I can only imagine how difficult it must have been to go through this, and to talk about it now. But I'm really glad you did because I know that hearing your story is going to help so many people. I was literally on the edge of my seat the whole time you were explaining what happened and I'm sure that will also be the case when you post part 2. The insight into your religious delusion was particularly fascinating because I've never heard much about religious delusions before. It sounds so scary that you were being told by a deity - first believing it was the Christian God and then some other deity - that people you loved were going to die... that had to be super intense to try to process. (Also, I have a relative who took a few spontaneous trips to other countries and started a local charity because she said she'd been chosen by God to do those things, and now you've got me wondering whether she was just doing "normal Christian things" or maybe having some religious delusions of her own??? the line seems really blurred.) "The noise" sounds super intense as well, and difficult to live with on top of everything else. Especially in place like New York that already comes with enough noise of its own. Another thing that really jumped out at me while watching this video was the time frame when all of this happened. (And how you mentioned that it was interesting that a lot of people in your real life will just now be finding out about it from your video.) Because yep, I met you during that time frame but knew nothing about any of this, except that you went on your Japan trip and moved to New York. So your ability to compartmentalize is... "impressive" is probably the wrong word but it's the best one I can come up with lol. I'm so glad that things are going better for you now, and that even though everything you described here was really tough to live through, it led you to getting a correct diagnosis. Thank you for being so open about all of this and putting your story out there.
I often wonder what role delusions play in things like religion. I'm a spiritual person, so I do believe there is a higher power, but at the same time, when it comes to organize religion and whatnot, I don't know where the line is. I'm not saying everyone in church is delusional, far from it, but due to the nature of how the world views religion, the lines can get blurred like they did with me. I only really started thinking something more was going on when things quit lining up with what I'd learned in church as I said in the video. If they'd never done that, I might still be in that state today and it might not have been a bad thing. Like I said in the vid, it was great for a while, and even tho it wasn't real, it wasn't something Id necessarily reject if given the option. Ignorance is bliss after all And that's kinda how I view a lot of my psychosis. Like if it's there, it's there, and as long as it isn't bothering me too much I just roll with it and don't think too hard about whether it's real or not. Is it my thought it is it the voices? Is it the schizo or the kitzo? In the end it really doesn't matter for me at least. I tell people I have a healthy distrust of reality lol Thanks GC!
good video kitz.....thank you for sharing this, i kmow its hard to talk/express yourself about these things! im still dealing with stuff like this and im well medicated t and his is by far the bravest thing ive seen in a long while.....well done💪
@SchizoKitzo Thank you very much for explaining what Schizoaffective Disorder actually is. I think I now understand what my Mom has. She is untreated and undiagnosed, because she doesnt think she has anproblem and won't go to see a Dr. about it. We've been trying to get her help since I was about 10 or 11 years old, with absolutely ZERO success. Whenever I describe her symptoms, I always say Bipolar with something similar to Schizophrenia. She experiences paranoia, auditory hallucinations, amd severe delusions. Do you have any advice for someone desperate to keep her loved one safe/get them some help? Part of my Mom's delusion is that she doesn't have to pay remt because of the COVID eviction moratorium, whoch is long gone. I have no idea how she hasnt been evicted yet (ornmaybe she has, Ive been having trouble getting ahold of her lately). Im scared she's going to ekd up homeless and die on the streets of Seattle if I camt get her some kind of help soon. I dont have the money to buy her a house or just rent her an apartment, otherwise I would. 😢
I have a family member who has schizoaffective disorder, I think. You are helping me understand her experience, as she doesn't talk about her situation much.
Kit im glad you got through that difficult time. Hard times are sorta like a regrouping at least for me anyways. I spent 4 months in inpatient . Everything in my life is so much better now also you make very good informative videos about mental health, Thank you.
2018 was is and probably always will be the worst year in history for me . I was so close to death from life circumstances , and was so ready to die , but never did . Life is a nightmare , death is a gift .
How can you know that you are not special until you find the path that is right for you? In my opinion you definitely have a penchant for color design, I already said it. The look of your channel immediately reminded me of Tim Burton. Thanks for the courage to put this all out there and kudos for the determination to tell this story. I know how difficult it can be to recall certain things. Say hello to Hans Zimmer for me if you should meet him. 😁
Popular New age guru, David Wilcock, (along with MANY others who are lesser known) thinks arch angel Michael talks to him. And he sells books & seminars to lots of followers. The guy doesn't know he's mentally ill at all.
I have cPTSD DID and bipolar. I think I get the religious delusion thing. Religion provides a great anchor and outlet for out-of-control mental illness. Definitely part in some degree part of my. Own experience.
I'm having a really bad psychotic episode right now...idk like in a really dark place. I am afraid to go to the hospital, even though I think I should...just not ok. Like I almost wish someone would just IVC me.
i'm so sorry you've had to live with this but bless you for making these videos for those of us who relate so we don't feel so isolated and hopeless 🫂✨
It only takes weeks to die from malnourishment or dehydration... Mania can be sustained and repressed even when medication is needed, however a manic person rarely eats correctly.. travelling, especially quickly or in a forced way can hide lack of caloric intake or cause digestive issues that just increase that manic spiral. Birds do this until they mate, humans that do that are victimized after that love is gone or is proven false.
@@SchizoKitzo very interesting. Does it relate to a mood or like are there certain moments that are connected ? I’ve had dp since 2018 and have been to therapy still no idea what exactly is causing it. it used to be fleeting then became chronic.
It is not ment for two women to have feelings for each other I don’t approve in women and women. Or men and men it wrong it not a good thing in God’s eyes Give your life to Jesus
lol I went to Belarus. I had the same religious delusion. That mania is no joke. I hear voices, see things that aren’t there. I smell things that aren’t there and I relocated to 5 different states after Belarus and ended in nyc. Lol
![Stromae, Pomme - “Ma Meilleure Ennemie” (from Arcane Season 2) [Official Visualizer]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/1F3OGIFnW1k/mqdefault.jpg)
I'm schizopaffective (depressive). Got diagnosed because the rope broke. Thought I had to sacrifice myself to save the world. I have no idea how I ended up at the hospital.
Misdiagnosed for so long it almost cost me my life.
Wish it had.
Had another psychosis early February this year (2024) and I had, of course, no idea. What's worse is that the psychosis clinic I go to didn't know either.
That one could have went badly as I thought my neighbors was trying to break in. They were screaming all hours of the day. I think it lasted 2 weeks. I still can't stand screaming.
You are strong to tell this story. I've tried a few times to make something like that. It always fail. And I'm tired of failing at everything thing I do.
But you are strong for what you just wrote! I wish you the best- how awful to be going through that
2018 was the worst year of my life. I went to therapy for the first time and it was so stressful that I experienced my first psychosis. How comforting to know that I wasn’t the only one struggling. I’m glad you feel better know.
You are NEVER alone. 2018 was horrible, nice to know I'm not alone either. Thank you.
2018 was the worst year of my life too. Everyday was a living hell.
Seems to be a recurrent theme. 2018 was a wild rollercoaster for me as well
You absolutely were not alone! I had my first "manic episode" in 2018 after my husband told me he no longer loved me.
The next thing I knew, I just snapped. Within 6 months, I went and slept with anyone who would sleep with me. (I had only been with one person up to that point). I got 2 DUIS, got arrested like 4 times and had pancreatitis. I don't even remember most of it... That's when I got diagnosed bipolar
Kit, I am so so sorry that you had to live through this. I hope that having your correct diagnosis and medication is helping you never go through something so frightening again. 🙏❤️
Having the diagnosis and the right meds has made a world of difference, to the point where on paper I should never go through it again. I hang onto that when the anxiety kicks in, because I still feel like that episode was yesterday and could come back tomorrow.
Thank you for this comment.
Thank you Kit I listen to every word you say and am so grateful to hear someone sharing their experiences. Hard not to feel very alone when reality fractures but you seem very strong and what you are doing feels very healthy
Thank you so much for sharing your stories! I’m 43 and was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder when I was 14. You’ve helped me understand so much about myself and my disorder
so glad I’m able to help!
I have so much...thankfulness for videos like this. my mother had, what we called in the 1990s, bipolar with psychosis, and she had been raised Irish Catholic. despite ~her~ parents being very mentally ill and dysfunctional, they still went to church seemingly pretty regularly. her first BIG psychotic break after I was born took about 6-7 years to happen, so to me, I was old enough to understand what she was saying and very confused by it all, and it was filled with religious delusions. I have so much empathy for people who experience religious delusions bc of this I think, bc I was highly aware of how it happened and I realized how scary it must be sometimes to fully experience these things happening to you (I have nightmare disorder bc of cPTSD and trauma, and have to go to therapy for what I experience while I'm sleeping bc it feels fully real, so dream or not it's still an experience my brain literally believed was happening to me, something I think is very similar in a lot of ways to delusions) I am very thankful you share your experience bc it allows me to relate to my mother in a way I wasn't able to as the mental illness caused her to move very far away and never return. thank you for making this
I can only imagine how difficult it must have been to go through this, and to talk about it now. But I'm really glad you did because I know that hearing your story is going to help so many people. I was literally on the edge of my seat the whole time you were explaining what happened and I'm sure that will also be the case when you post part 2.
The insight into your religious delusion was particularly fascinating because I've never heard much about religious delusions before. It sounds so scary that you were being told by a deity - first believing it was the Christian God and then some other deity - that people you loved were going to die... that had to be super intense to try to process. (Also, I have a relative who took a few spontaneous trips to other countries and started a local charity because she said she'd been chosen by God to do those things, and now you've got me wondering whether she was just doing "normal Christian things" or maybe having some religious delusions of her own??? the line seems really blurred.)
"The noise" sounds super intense as well, and difficult to live with on top of everything else. Especially in place like New York that already comes with enough noise of its own.
Another thing that really jumped out at me while watching this video was the time frame when all of this happened. (And how you mentioned that it was interesting that a lot of people in your real life will just now be finding out about it from your video.) Because yep, I met you during that time frame but knew nothing about any of this, except that you went on your Japan trip and moved to New York. So your ability to compartmentalize is... "impressive" is probably the wrong word but it's the best one I can come up with lol.
I'm so glad that things are going better for you now, and that even though everything you described here was really tough to live through, it led you to getting a correct diagnosis. Thank you for being so open about all of this and putting your story out there.
I often wonder what role delusions play in things like religion. I'm a spiritual person, so I do believe there is a higher power, but at the same time, when it comes to organize religion and whatnot, I don't know where the line is. I'm not saying everyone in church is delusional, far from it, but due to the nature of how the world views religion, the lines can get blurred like they did with me.
I only really started thinking something more was going on when things quit lining up with what I'd learned in church as I said in the video. If they'd never done that, I might still be in that state today and it might not have been a bad thing. Like I said in the vid, it was great for a while, and even tho it wasn't real, it wasn't something Id necessarily reject if given the option.
Ignorance is bliss after all
And that's kinda how I view a lot of my psychosis. Like if it's there, it's there, and as long as it isn't bothering me too much I just roll with it and don't think too hard about whether it's real or not. Is it my thought it is it the voices? Is it the schizo or the kitzo? In the end it really doesn't matter for me at least.
I tell people I have a healthy distrust of reality lol
Thanks GC!
I cherish knowing you and the trust you place in sharing. 💐
I appreciate you!
good video kitz.....thank you for sharing this, i kmow its hard to talk/express yourself about these things! im still dealing with stuff like this and im well medicated t and his is by far the bravest thing ive seen in a long while.....well done💪
Thank you! This comment means so much to me.
I can't get my son to get help and it's breaking my heart. Something really bad is going to happen. The courts won't even help
Did you ever get him to get into treatment? ❤
Same with my son.
Read I am not sick, I don't need help
@@susantaylor2937 no
How are you guys doing?
@SchizoKitzo Thank you very much for explaining what Schizoaffective Disorder actually is. I think I now understand what my Mom has. She is untreated and undiagnosed, because she doesnt think she has anproblem and won't go to see a Dr. about it. We've been trying to get her help since I was about 10 or 11 years old, with absolutely ZERO success. Whenever I describe her symptoms, I always say Bipolar with something similar to Schizophrenia. She experiences paranoia, auditory hallucinations, amd severe delusions.
Do you have any advice for someone desperate to keep her loved one safe/get them some help? Part of my Mom's delusion is that she doesn't have to pay remt because of the COVID eviction moratorium, whoch is long gone. I have no idea how she hasnt been evicted yet (ornmaybe she has, Ive been having trouble getting ahold of her lately). Im scared she's going to ekd up homeless and die on the streets of Seattle if I camt get her some kind of help soon. I dont have the money to buy her a house or just rent her an apartment, otherwise I would. 😢
I have a family member who has schizoaffective disorder, I think. You are helping me understand her experience, as she doesn't talk about her situation much.
starts at 6:00 8:30
Very moving story. I wish you the best. ❤️🌹
Kit im glad you got through that difficult time. Hard times are sorta like a regrouping at least for me anyways. I spent 4 months in inpatient . Everything in my life is so much better now also you make very good informative videos about mental health, Thank you.
I'm so glad to hear things are better now! And thank you so much for this.
Good job. You are doing great. I know that you will just pass this comment up, and not even see this possibly, but I know someone needs to hear it.
2018 was is and probably always will be the worst year in history for me . I was so close to death from life circumstances , and was so ready to die , but never did . Life is a nightmare , death is a gift .
Thanks for sharing, sorry you had to go through that!
Fortunately it’s behind me now… thank you!
How can you know that you are not special until you find the path that is right for you? In my opinion you definitely have a penchant for color design, I already said it. The look of your channel immediately reminded me of Tim Burton.
Thanks for the courage to put this all out there and kudos for the determination to tell this story. I know how difficult it can be to recall certain things.
Say hello to Hans Zimmer for me if you should meet him. 😁
Popular New age guru, David Wilcock, (along with MANY others who are lesser known) thinks arch angel Michael talks to him. And he sells books & seminars to lots of followers.
The guy doesn't know he's mentally ill at all.
I live with this, its pure hell tbh
I'm reminded of my break
I have cPTSD DID and bipolar. I think I get the religious delusion thing. Religion provides a great anchor and outlet for out-of-control mental illness. Definitely part in some degree part of my. Own experience.
You are helping me deacribe what i needed to accept this diagnosis i love you but not like thay just i wish we coucld hug!!
I'm having a really bad psychotic episode right now...idk like in a really dark place. I am afraid to go to the hospital, even though I think I should...just not ok. Like I almost wish someone would just IVC me.
i'm so sorry you've had to live with this but bless you for making these videos for those of us who relate so we don't feel so isolated and hopeless 🫂✨
I love your thoughts
❤Nice video ❤
It only takes weeks to die from malnourishment or dehydration... Mania can be sustained and repressed even when medication is needed, however a manic person rarely eats correctly.. travelling, especially quickly or in a forced way can hide lack of caloric intake or cause digestive issues that just increase that manic spiral. Birds do this until they mate, humans that do that are victimized after that love is gone or is proven false.
I have mainly manic episodes and spending is the worst issue. Had religious delusions too. Thought I was Jesus. During the highest mania
Damn. You are pretty smart.😳
I ended up in Japan in the same way
Miss you!!!!!! Make new video 🤍💥💥💥💥🖖🙂
Psychosis is a stress response. Not illness.
I would love to see your outakes
Holy shit love ya
do you experience dp/dr?
Sometimes!
@@SchizoKitzo very interesting. Does it relate to a mood or like are there certain moments that are connected ? I’ve had dp since 2018 and have been to therapy still no idea what exactly is causing it. it used to be fleeting then became chronic.
I call itthe noise als9
But I sufferd for 8 years . My switchvations is very bad right..how can I manege this life😢
are you not being electronically harrassed?
What do you mean?
@@natas12rm targeted individual search it up
Demiurge
Can't understand it how I manege this
I think your a good woman, kit, just inexperienced in life. Im experienced in life andi know how to turn away all my symptoms.
It is not ment for two women to have feelings for each other I don’t approve in women and women. Or men and men it wrong it not a good thing in God’s eyes Give your life to Jesus
Our stories are oddly similar. Wow… 🤗🤍
lol I went to Belarus. I had the same religious delusion. That mania is no joke. I hear voices, see things that aren’t there. I smell things that aren’t there and I relocated to 5 different states after Belarus and ended in nyc. Lol