Well done. I am 63 years old and have had many hundreds of dates, dozens of girlfriends (of various seriousness), and have lived with three women, one of which I have now been married to for 34 years. Not only was everything single you said accurate and potentially life changing, but you also (correctly IMHO) focused on the improvement of self and a resulting increase in value as a romantic partner instead of shifting responsibility of our difficulty in romantic life onto women and falling into the red-pill trap.
Thank you very much. If you don't mind sharing, what do you think it was about this marriage that made it last compared to your previous relationships?
Don't Chase Women. Chase Excellence. Work On Becoming The Best Version Of Yourself. Become Involved In Different Clubs And Organizations That Are Of Interest To You. Consider Volunteering Your Time At A Charity, Food Bank Or Soup Kitchen Once A Month Or So. Get Busy And Don't Waste Time.
I don't recommend 'chasing' women, but I do think it's important to be aware of how you attract women. Much of my advice is similar to yours, it's about maximizing your time and being more social.
@@Gent.Z well, in short: I've been the complete opposite before. Means, I've always wanted to be in a relationship with a girl who's worth it. But you don't know beforehand, how it will turn out, and what kind of person your girlfriend really is. So I've invested a lot of time, effort, money, always tried to fix things when problems appeared, but it never ended in a good way. The last woman I've been with, even ruined a whole chunk of my life (including my reputation). I dated 2 more times after it, before I decided the ROI is way to low. Instead I invest that time and energy in reaching some of my goals and get a few check-marks off my bucket-list. And this is way more fulfilling and satisfying than any relationship I've ever had. Since 8 years I'm single and absolutely happy with it.
DARLING, I'M AN OLD GAL FROM THE SOUTH, AND JUST LOVE YOUR OLD SCHOOL APPROACH TO BEING A NOT ONLY WELL DRESSED, BUT A REAL MAN. THANK YOU FOR SPREADING THE WORD....THE WORLD OF MAD MEN IS A PERFECT EXAMPLE. ANYWAY, I JUST LOVE YOU. YOUNG MEN NEED TO LISTEN TO YOU. KEEP IT UP.
I'm a 17 year old from Germany, and havent been on a single date yet. It seems as though no matter how often I try, I fail. Especially dressing nice and even being gentlemanly is not that appreciated by the people I know, I feel like. This video motivated me. I have to leave my comfort zone. In a seemingly empty environment there lingers hope. Thanks GentZ, you're a great Inspiration
James, I must say this is one of your best videos that you have done. I didn't date at all this year as I decided to focus on Reason 3 and deal with unresolved childhood trauma. I believe it has made dating women and the idea of relationships very difficult for me. I hope to resolve it and move forward in order to be a better man and Lord willing, a better husband and a better father. P.S I really appreciate the short clip from 'Good Will Hunting', it's one of my favourite movies of all time.
I went through a difficult breakup in February, but started dating a new girl in July. Still together. I worked on myself in those months in-between and made myself a better person.
I was very tunnel visioned about work and my immediate friend group this year, however one of my New Year’s resolutions for 2025 is to put myself out there more by meeting new people in various groups and attending lots of different events. I think I will need to buy a calendar
I haven't been on a date since 2023 which feels like quite a while ago. I have been improving my physique and trying to resolve my acne. I got into new hobbies that I enjoy. I found this channel earlier this year and I have been hooked on being a gentleman ever since
That's great to hear. Aside from your focus on self-improvement, what has stopped you from dating? I ask only so I can make more useful videos for guys like you.
@Gent.Z My last relationship was getting really bad at the end, and it took a while for me to get over it. After all, it was my first ever relationship with a woman. I got to know her because we worked together. The job I'm currently at, I don't work with any women my age like I did at my last one. Really, that was the only time I spoke with women around my age(I'm 22). I would like to date, but I would rather meet someone organically than meet someone through a dating app.
Before even getting into the dating market, you should ask yourself why and what you are looking for. As with everything in life, ask yourself the same question in three ways and answer it with all the honesty you can muster: *Do* I want a relationship? Do *I* want a relationship? Do I want a *relationship* ? Because some guys enter into relationships because they feel that it is expected of them by the prospective partner or by society. Or they are under the impression that they can only find happiness when they are in one „Because it’s just what you do“. Not wanting a relationship is also perfectly acceptable. Same as with periods in your life where some company for the night is all you really want. And when you are in a relationship: make sure that both of you have interests that you can pursue on your own and without your partner. That one is huge in fact. If you know, you know.
I agree that not wanting a relationship is also perfectly acceptable. However, I still date women with this intention, or lack of intention, in mind. I think it's beneficial for a man to have female company now and then. Also, dating experiences help you make better informed decisions about serious partners in the future.
@ That is definitely a fair point, thanks for mentioning that. Gaining dating experience is beneficial. The important thing is that both sides know what to expect (or not to expect) when dating. Being upfront and honest about it can save both sides some heartache. Case in point: There has been a point in my life where a lady wanted more than I was ready to commit to at the time. I was not looking for a serious relationship and initially, neither was she. We were both fine with this. But her view changed gradually and then she eventually confessed that she wanted more. It was painful to reject her because she was genuinely sweet and we enjoyed each other’s company, but I think it was the best choice for both of us in the long run. I am still grateful for meeting her and for her honesty. We parted ways on friendly terms. Taking this further than it went would not have been fair towards her, and it wouldn’t have been fair towards myself. Having to reject someone who you like was not an experience that felt good, but still one worth having. It definitely helped me in all the years since. On a lighter note: These days, I am usually blissfully unaware that someone may be flirting with me, much to the amusement of my significant other. There have been situations where I thought I was just having a nice conversation with someone, but later was informed by multiple people that she was sending „ALL the signals“. And then I felt bad because I didn’t want to give her the impression that I was interested in her or leading her on. Again, I thought we were just having a nice chat. It was a very confusing night.
Same 🙏🏾 good to see some optimism in the comment section 😊 I know several friends who met their LTR in the past two years ❤️ remain open-hearted and optimistic
Relationships are tricky. Right now the girl im invested in has had a bunch of health issues going on, so shes not interested in seeing anyone, but we still talk daily and i show her support, and her birthday is Monday so i got her some gifts. But apparently idk if she wants to date me or not, shes said she doesnt see me in a romantic way, but yet sends me signals suggesting otherwise, like sending explicitly sexual memes and once asking me if i was seeing anyone. I know there has to be a thought in her mind about it, but i also think with everything she has going on, she might not want a BF right now. Whatever the case may be, im still at least one of her best friends, but still id love to be able to be something more.
simple, tell her you will support her with any health issues, that you think she likes you, tease her about it lightheartedly, when she admits it, take her on a date. I assume you've asked her out already? If not, get to that IMMEDIATELY old chap ;) if she says no, onto the next.
Sounds like you are allowing her to friendzone and sideline you, while she waits to see if someone better will turn up. My advice is to start dating other women ASAP. Either it will increase her attraction to you or it won't bother her and you get to move on.
@@Gent.Z Thank you for answering me. I got traumatised after my 1st relationship in 2022 and despite upgrading my looks, I really deep inside dont want to get any relationship anymore. Im ignoring choosing signals from women even who I like, I guess that means I totally gave up
Pursuing women nowadays is a miserable waste of time, It's better to focus on yourself & prioritize career & finance ...besides not all women are genuine... Insightful video though.
Free 5-step plan to meet more women in 2025 - www.gent-z.com/meet-women-irl
Well done. I am 63 years old and have had many hundreds of dates, dozens of girlfriends (of various seriousness), and have lived with three women, one of which I have now been married to for 34 years.
Not only was everything single you said accurate and potentially life changing, but you also (correctly IMHO) focused on the improvement of self and a resulting increase in value as a romantic partner instead of shifting responsibility of our difficulty in romantic life onto women and falling into the red-pill trap.
Thank you very much. If you don't mind sharing, what do you think it was about this marriage that made it last compared to your previous relationships?
Wisdom.
Don't Chase Women. Chase Excellence. Work On Becoming The Best Version Of Yourself. Become Involved In Different Clubs And Organizations That Are Of Interest To You. Consider Volunteering Your Time At A Charity, Food Bank Or Soup Kitchen Once A Month Or So. Get Busy And Don't Waste Time.
I agree. I don’t chase women. It’s okay to be single for a period of time.
I don't recommend 'chasing' women, but I do think it's important to be aware of how you attract women. Much of my advice is similar to yours, it's about maximizing your time and being more social.
I could get a girlfriend, but I'm not interested in it anymore.
Mind if I ask why you are no longer interested?
@@Gent.Z well, in short: I've been the complete opposite before. Means, I've always wanted to be in a relationship with a girl who's worth it. But you don't know beforehand, how it will turn out, and what kind of person your girlfriend really is. So I've invested a lot of time, effort, money, always tried to fix things when problems appeared, but it never ended in a good way. The last woman I've been with, even ruined a whole chunk of my life (including my reputation). I dated 2 more times after it, before I decided the ROI is way to low. Instead I invest that time and energy in reaching some of my goals and get a few check-marks off my bucket-list. And this is way more fulfilling and satisfying than any relationship I've ever had. Since 8 years I'm single and absolutely happy with it.
DARLING, I'M AN OLD GAL FROM THE SOUTH, AND JUST LOVE YOUR OLD SCHOOL APPROACH TO BEING A NOT ONLY WELL DRESSED, BUT A REAL MAN. THANK YOU FOR SPREADING THE WORD....THE WORLD OF MAD MEN IS A PERFECT EXAMPLE. ANYWAY, I JUST LOVE YOU. YOUNG MEN NEED TO LISTEN TO YOU. KEEP IT UP.
Thank you very much, I appreciate it.
I'm a 17 year old from Germany, and havent been on a single date yet. It seems as though no matter how often I try, I fail. Especially dressing nice and even being gentlemanly is not that appreciated by the people I know, I feel like. This video motivated me. I have to leave my comfort zone. In a seemingly empty environment there lingers hope. Thanks GentZ, you're a great Inspiration
James, I must say this is one of your best videos that you have done. I didn't date at all this year as I decided to focus on Reason 3 and deal with unresolved childhood trauma. I believe it has made dating women and the idea of relationships very difficult for me. I hope to resolve it and move forward in order to be a better man and Lord willing, a better husband and a better father. P.S I really appreciate the short clip from 'Good Will Hunting', it's one of my favourite movies of all time.
Thank you. I'm glad you have this level of self-awareness. It will make you a much better partner to the right woman one day.
There's a companion piece to "Good Will Hunting":
"Finding Forrester".
You may like it.
I went through a difficult breakup in February, but started dating a new girl in July. Still together. I worked on myself in those months in-between and made myself a better person.
Good for you, keep up the work, and you will be a keeper.
Excellent, thorough, and very thoughtful!
This is what we wanted for a long time
Great video James! It was very helpful!
Keep up the good work James 👏🏻
Thanks very much
I was very tunnel visioned about work and my immediate friend group this year, however one of my New Year’s resolutions for 2025 is to put myself out there more by meeting new people in various groups and attending lots of different events. I think I will need to buy a calendar
I haven't been on a date since 2023 which feels like quite a while ago. I have been improving my physique and trying to resolve my acne. I got into new hobbies that I enjoy. I found this channel earlier this year and I have been hooked on being a gentleman ever since
That's great to hear. Aside from your focus on self-improvement, what has stopped you from dating? I ask only so I can make more useful videos for guys like you.
Sounds like you're setting yourself up to win.
Good job.
@Gent.Z My last relationship was getting really bad at the end, and it took a while for me to get over it. After all, it was my first ever relationship with a woman. I got to know her because we worked together. The job I'm currently at, I don't work with any women my age like I did at my last one. Really, that was the only time I spoke with women around my age(I'm 22). I would like to date, but I would rather meet someone organically than meet someone through a dating app.
To continue with the shop analogy, business has been slow this year. 😂
Haha. Better luck next year, sir.
Mine was getting my financial life back on track in 2024 as well as working on some other stuff.
The one I got in 23 would probably not like it lol
Why I couldn’t get a girl in 2024? Because I’m happily married and not looking for a girlfriend😎
Single as a Pringle 🤣
Before even getting into the dating market, you should ask yourself why and what you are looking for. As with everything in life, ask yourself the same question in three ways and answer it with all the honesty you can muster:
*Do* I want a relationship?
Do *I* want a relationship?
Do I want a *relationship* ?
Because some guys enter into relationships because they feel that it is expected of them by the prospective partner or by society. Or they are under the impression that they can only find happiness when they are in one „Because it’s just what you do“.
Not wanting a relationship is also perfectly acceptable. Same as with periods in your life where some company for the night is all you really want.
And when you are in a relationship: make sure that both of you have interests that you can pursue on your own and without your partner. That one is huge in fact. If you know, you know.
I agree that not wanting a relationship is also perfectly acceptable. However, I still date women with this intention, or lack of intention, in mind. I think it's beneficial for a man to have female company now and then. Also, dating experiences help you make better informed decisions about serious partners in the future.
@ That is definitely a fair point, thanks for mentioning that.
Gaining dating experience is beneficial. The important thing is that both sides know what to expect (or not to expect) when dating. Being upfront and honest about it can save both sides some heartache. Case in point: There has been a point in my life where a lady wanted more than I was ready to commit to at the time. I was not looking for a serious relationship and initially, neither was she. We were both fine with this. But her view changed gradually and then she eventually confessed that she wanted more. It was painful to reject her because she was genuinely sweet and we enjoyed each other’s company, but I think it was the best choice for both of us in the long run. I am still grateful for meeting her and for her honesty. We parted ways on friendly terms. Taking this further than it went would not have been fair towards her, and it wouldn’t have been fair towards myself. Having to reject someone who you like was not an experience that felt good, but still one worth having. It definitely helped me in all the years since.
On a lighter note: These days, I am usually blissfully unaware that someone may be flirting with me, much to the amusement of my significant other. There have been situations where I thought I was just having a nice conversation with someone, but later was informed by multiple people that she was sending „ALL the signals“. And then I felt bad because I didn’t want to give her the impression that I was interested in her or leading her on. Again, I thought we were just having a nice chat. It was a very confusing night.
2025 is my Time
Glad to hear it
Same 🙏🏾 good to see some optimism in the comment section 😊 I know several friends who met their LTR in the past two years ❤️ remain open-hearted and optimistic
I must have changed like 3 girlfriends this year
Same
Because I'm married?
Lets go with that.
Good for you
Relationships are tricky. Right now the girl im invested in has had a bunch of health issues going on, so shes not interested in seeing anyone, but we still talk daily and i show her support, and her birthday is Monday so i got her some gifts. But apparently idk if she wants to date me or not, shes said she doesnt see me in a romantic way, but yet sends me signals suggesting otherwise, like sending explicitly sexual memes and once asking me if i was seeing anyone. I know there has to be a thought in her mind about it, but i also think with everything she has going on, she might not want a BF right now. Whatever the case may be, im still at least one of her best friends, but still id love to be able to be something more.
simple, tell her you will support her with any health issues, that you think she likes you, tease her about it lightheartedly, when she admits it, take her on a date. I assume you've asked her out already? If not, get to that IMMEDIATELY old chap ;) if she says no, onto the next.
Sounds like you are allowing her to friendzone and sideline you, while she waits to see if someone better will turn up. My advice is to start dating other women ASAP. Either it will increase her attraction to you or it won't bother her and you get to move on.
@@Gent.Z
Absolutely.
Im allready done with it since 2022. It's so over...
What makes you feel that way?
@@Gent.Z
Thank you for answering me. I got traumatised after my 1st relationship in 2022 and despite upgrading my looks, I really deep inside dont want to get any relationship anymore. Im ignoring choosing signals from women even who I like, I guess that means I totally gave up
It is simple. I have my priorities set straight. Family, Gym, League of Legends. No wonder why I am and will be single 4ever. #RoadtoMaster
Why do you prioritize League of Legends over female companionship?
Pursuing women nowadays is a miserable waste of time, It's better to focus on yourself & prioritize career & finance ...besides not all women are genuine... Insightful video though.
What makes you say it's a waste of time? I'm genuinely asking so I can make more useful content for guys like you.
Dating is a waste of time
What makes you say it's a waste of time, Phillip? I'm genuinely asking so I can make more useful content for guys like you.