Even when I have been strictly honest with a man, he may still argue with me to change my mind. This is frustrating. Accept what a woman tells you when you try to pursue her on a first meeting, especially if you believe she is lying to avoid you. The real message is that she is not interested. The reasons may vary and they could change. If she wants to connect with you, she will let you know.
Well, I think some men end up deluding themselves and won't hear the truth because it's uncomfortable and rejecting. Some women will be vague to try and protect a man's ego when they reject him, but it sounds like you are not one of those women. Thanks for sharing your perspective, Crystal.
@ I hope I have never been mean. It’s not like I ever had to beat off lots of would-be suitors. Honesty upfront is kinder than investing in something that was an ill-fit from the start. If a man has doubts in reading a woman’s receptiveness, perhaps he should say something like “As much as I would like to get to know you better, I sense that this might not be the right timing. Am I right?” Then she can agree or not without any unpleasantness on either side.
I went out on a date who I met in a bar dance club mainly of middle age adults and we set up a date. At the the end of our date, she said that probably this had no future potienal. I said thats OK and we walk both walked away.
Women sometimes don’t say what’s on their and sometimes they might even say the contrary. But they do give hints which we often miss. Once we start understanding their signs it can significantly improve compatibility and can prevent getting drifted away from each other.
Picking up on hints is important, but it can also lead to a lot of second-guessing and misunderstandings. It's better to build a relationship of honest and open communication.
I may be a minority, but as a woman, when I say something, I mean it. I think it is also important to point out, even though James did an excellent job. But, I think that if there is too much of a discrepancy between what people say and their intentions, then you are dealing with someone who is not honest, perhaps likes to plays games, and therefore not trustworthy. Authenticity and honesty are always among the most attractive starting points for a relationship, otherwise you will just invite too many problems into your life. Anyway, well done James, and a Merry Christmas. I know it is cold over there in Chicago, so I hope you are sporting a quality winter coat!
@@joshmiller7777 Well thank you very much, and I am delighted that you decided to stop and say a few words. I am so glad to hear that you and your lady love see the value in authenticity and honesty; that is the way for a happy relationship, (and a happy life for that matter,) to be far more probable. Merry Christmas to you and your girlfriend, and the best of luck to you both!
I agree with you, Sweetie, that many people are dishonest, play games, and are untrustworthy. Having said that, there are many women who don't fall into those categories and I by no means intend to paint everyone with the same brush. Thank you and Merry Christmas to you too
@@Gent.Z Indeed! Well said James, and thanks for taking the time to write back. Looking forward to seeing more of your lovely content, and do keep up the good work! Perhaps you could do one on how a true gentleman respects Christmas and how to be a credit to one's friends and loved ones. I sometimes think that the errors in behavior today are amplified when the holidays come around. That is why I appreciate your channel and the importance of what you do. Thanks again, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you and yours!
Great material James, and tactfully stated. I would point out that a "nice" guy is not necessarily seeking validation or a "people pleaser". One can be forceful, confident and independent yet still pleasantly cordial, yea indeed even "nice". Strength lends itself to kindness.
Thank you. When I say "nice guy," I'm referring specifically to a trope of man that is a pushover and people-pleasing, as identified by Dr Robert Glover in his book, No More Mr Nice Guy. There's nothing wrong with being nice in the literal sense of the word. And as you point out, "niceness" can be a very positive quality combined with strength and integrity.
@@Gent.Z Ah yes, I understand @Gent.Z James. At 64 I'm a trifle out of touch with current parlance. Some of my old .mil Operator buddies are the sweetest guys you've ever met, and devastatingly lethal. Also, is Dr. Robert Glover perchance a pseudonym for Vincent Furnier? 🤪 ruclips.net/video/KN6ngThqMEs/видео.htmlfeature=shared "Toxic Aliceinity"? 🤔
Women will ask you “How are you still single?”. This means they will probably have ‘fun’ with you because you are attractive, but you are not her cup of tea to date. Assume this and let her prove you otherwise. Can’t miss.
@ probably 15 years older than yourself. You’ll get there. Appreciate your perspective on style. Tell these young men about Marcello Mastroianni. Very cool.
Very nice, James! You handled each topic with a lot of tact. For your intended audience, my 90 hour weeks in grad school didn't keep me from having a relationship. I was still able to at least send a text every morning and/or evening. Also, I'm 5'11, so I feel I have a legitimate reason for preferring a man over 6' ! I have compromised on this, though. 🙂
Thank you, very much. I don't criticize any women for having a height preference. As a 6ft 2 man, most women I've been with have told me that height immediately attracted them to me. But yes, we can make time for those who are important to us. It's always a matter of priorities. And dating casually can be even more time consuming than being in a relationship!
2:30 As a 6’1 man, I’d hate to see my brothers under 5’11 to be a “compromise” to women. The women in those videos are the one’s you don’t take seriously. In actuality, being two or three inches taller than your woman is the way to go. Most women themselves are around 5’5 and it’s absolutely absurd of them to be demanding 6’0 men. I went on this rant because I was sort of stuck wt 5’11 when I was 18 and thought it’s over, but I did ended up having my last growth spurt.
Ah the games, men and women play. I have to sigh, one thing I feel very fortunate for, is that when my Husband and I started dating the paramount of the relationship was to establish from the start open, honest, communication, period. No back and forth, no being coy, just honesty, and in fairness, I think my Husband found the directness refreshing, I mean he must have, 13 years later and we are still happily married. I would also like to comment on your observation that women will make concessions on certain traits etc. yes I think that is true, however, while I believe wholeheartedly that there must be a mutual attraction, beauty is fleeting, it it what is in their mind and heart that truly matters. Just my thoughts. Great video James, and fabulous tie!
I agree with you completely and I'm glad that you are enjoying such a satisfying marriage. I have to ask you, do you think a certain type of 'love games' play a role in seduction and keeping a marriage exciting and interesting?
Good evening James, thank you for your response, and for your well wishes on my marriage, that is very kind of you, and appreciated. I have EHarmony to thank, as that is where my Husband and I met. In response to your inquiry, yes I most certainly do believe that “love games” and fun play a key role in keeping a marriage exciting, seductive, and interesting. One always has to remember that desire beings in the mind. So, enticing what is in your partner’s mind and bringing it to fruition, is what I think is a cornerstone to a lasting marriage. James, (my Husband) and I always keep things interesting by trying new things, going new places, and being open to new experiences like a cooking class or taking ballroom dancing. My advice too, for any man or woman, would be read the book Love Languages, by Gary Chapman. Some people loathe it, but I personally found it quite beneficial for anyone wanting to have a successful relationship as it teaches you how to love your partner so both your needs are met. I think my response has probably gone on longer than what you were looking, and if I were speaking I would be guilty of being loquacious, but I hope I was able to answer your question. Meg
@@Gent.Z Thank you for your reply, and for the well wishes on my marriage, that is very kind of you, and appreciated. I have to thank EHarmony as that is where my Husband and I met. In response to your inquiry, yes I do believe that ‘love games’ come into play when creating a happy marriage. We have to remember that desire begins in the mind. So it is very important to always keep things interesting and stimulating by trying new things and experiences. Such as, my Husband James and I thought it would be fun to learn ballroom dance, take cooking classes together, and traveling to new destinations. This speaks to keeping things exciting, interesting, and seductive. If you are able to fulfill and partake your partner’s passions, your relationship will never be dull. I also think every couple should read Love Languages by Gary Chapman. Now I have heard that some people do not like the book, but I personally found it very beneficial in teaching each other how to recognize your own personal love language, and your partner’s as well. This is probably a longer response than you were looking for, but I do hope I answered your question. Meg.
@@thedarkeststar76 that makes more sense i can understand that, from the other side it seems like disinterest but they keep texting which is very confusing lol
On a completely unrelated point were did you get the suit from? I'm not a fashion expert but I find that a grey suit is not to formal but not casual either. A black suit can sometimes be a bit bland and is best saved for funerals.
@@Gent.Z Ah very kind of you James :) it's going very well, I've been with my girlfriend now for almost 6 months, and things couldn't be going better! Naturally, a little credit has to go to some of your style advice 😉. I hope it is going well for you too
I feel like some of the comments about James's content becoming too manosphere-ish are a bit unfounded. Unfortunately, many of the topics that James discusses can veer very much into a toxic territory but he tries very hard time approach the topic with tact and dignity. Never once is he saying that women should just say the truth or implying that they are lying. These things are very true for all kinds of relationships whether they be work or personal. We all are trying to protect ourselves and not say truly say everything that we feel.
In my opinion, there is no need to dignify a troll's drivel with a reply. His immature strawman argument is patronizing, relying entirely on contextomy, cherry-picking isolated phrases while ignoring the nuanced reasoning James presented. This person who is patronizing offers no more constructive criticism than a dilettante, feigning engagement for their own amusement (that of his audience) while lacking the sincerity or depth to truly understand James's argument.
Women seem to a built in mechanism that give them a very artful use of language. Usually to make themselves appear to be a better person than she actually is.
No. Many seeks to maximize attention, and attention-seeking behavior, while minimizing alienating or getting the to person to think "badly" about them otherwise.
Him: "What's wrong?"
Her "Nothing"
Admiral Akbar" "It's a trap!"
Even when I have been strictly honest with a man, he may still argue with me to change my mind. This is frustrating. Accept what a woman tells you when you try to pursue her on a first meeting, especially if you believe she is lying to avoid you. The real message is that she is not interested. The reasons may vary and they could change. If she wants to connect with you, she will let you know.
Well, I think some men end up deluding themselves and won't hear the truth because it's uncomfortable and rejecting. Some women will be vague to try and protect a man's ego when they reject him, but it sounds like you are not one of those women. Thanks for sharing your perspective, Crystal.
@ I hope I have never been mean. It’s not like I ever had to beat off lots of would-be suitors. Honesty upfront is kinder than investing in something that was an ill-fit from the start. If a man has doubts in reading a woman’s receptiveness, perhaps he should say something like “As much as I would like to get to know you better, I sense that this might not be the right timing. Am I right?” Then she can agree or not without any unpleasantness on either side.
I went out on a date who I met in a bar dance club mainly of middle age adults and we set up a date. At the the end of our date, she said that probably this had no future potienal. I said thats OK and we walk both walked away.
@ That seems like a very civil result. I hope you weren’t offended.
Women sometimes don’t say what’s on their and sometimes they might even say the contrary. But they do give hints which we often miss. Once we start understanding their signs it can significantly improve compatibility and can prevent getting drifted away from each other.
Picking up on hints is important, but it can also lead to a lot of second-guessing and misunderstandings. It's better to build a relationship of honest and open communication.
I may be a minority, but as a woman, when I say something, I mean it. I think it is also important to point out, even though James did an excellent job. But, I think that if there is too much of a discrepancy between what people say and their intentions, then you are dealing with someone who is not honest, perhaps likes to plays games, and therefore not trustworthy. Authenticity and honesty are always among the most attractive starting points for a relationship, otherwise you will just invite too many problems into your life.
Anyway, well done James, and a Merry Christmas. I know it is cold over there in Chicago, so I hope you are sporting a quality winter coat!
That was really wonderfully put! Honestly, as someone in a healthy relationship, my girlfriend and I are really honest with eachother
@@joshmiller7777 Well thank you very much, and I am delighted that you decided to stop and say a few words. I am so glad to hear that you and your lady love see the value in authenticity and honesty; that is the way for a happy relationship, (and a happy life for that matter,) to be far more probable.
Merry Christmas to you and your girlfriend, and the best of luck to you both!
I agree with you, Sweetie, that many people are dishonest, play games, and are untrustworthy. Having said that, there are many women who don't fall into those categories and I by no means intend to paint everyone with the same brush. Thank you and Merry Christmas to you too
@@Gent.Z Indeed! Well said James, and thanks for taking the time to write back. Looking forward to seeing more of your lovely content, and do keep up the good work!
Perhaps you could do one on how a true gentleman respects Christmas and how to be a credit to one's friends and loved ones. I sometimes think that the errors in behavior today are amplified when the holidays come around. That is why I appreciate your channel and the importance of what you do.
Thanks again, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you and yours!
Great material James, and tactfully stated. I would point out that a "nice" guy is not necessarily seeking validation or a "people pleaser". One can be forceful, confident and independent yet still pleasantly cordial, yea indeed even "nice". Strength lends itself to kindness.
Thank you. When I say "nice guy," I'm referring specifically to a trope of man that is a pushover and people-pleasing, as identified by Dr Robert Glover in his book, No More Mr Nice Guy. There's nothing wrong with being nice in the literal sense of the word. And as you point out, "niceness" can be a very positive quality combined with strength and integrity.
@@Gent.Z Ah yes, I understand @Gent.Z James. At 64 I'm a trifle out of touch with current parlance. Some of my old .mil Operator buddies are the sweetest guys you've ever met, and devastatingly lethal. Also, is Dr. Robert Glover perchance a pseudonym for Vincent Furnier? 🤪
ruclips.net/video/KN6ngThqMEs/видео.htmlfeature=shared
"Toxic Aliceinity"? 🤔
Hi James, another great video! love the tie today can't wait for that closet tour
Oh yes !
Thank you, Seb
That quick revision at the end was very nice. Way to Go ❤
Thank you. I've started incorporating these into the videos as everyone seems to like it.
Women will ask you “How are you still single?”. This means they will probably have ‘fun’ with you because you are attractive, but you are not her cup of tea to date. Assume this and let her prove you otherwise. Can’t miss.
Interesting perspective. I don't think I've ever had this comment.
@ probably 15 years older than yourself. You’ll get there. Appreciate your perspective on style. Tell these young men about Marcello Mastroianni. Very cool.
Very nice, James! You handled each topic with a lot of tact. For your intended audience, my 90 hour weeks in grad school didn't keep me from having a relationship. I was still able to at least send a text every morning and/or evening. Also, I'm 5'11, so I feel I have a legitimate reason for preferring a man over 6' ! I have compromised on this, though. 🙂
Thank you, very much. I don't criticize any women for having a height preference. As a 6ft 2 man, most women I've been with have told me that height immediately attracted them to me. But yes, we can make time for those who are important to us. It's always a matter of priorities. And dating casually can be even more time consuming than being in a relationship!
2:30
As a 6’1 man, I’d hate to see my brothers under 5’11 to be a “compromise” to women.
The women in those videos are the one’s you don’t take seriously.
In actuality, being two or three inches taller than your woman is the way to go.
Most women themselves are around 5’5 and it’s absolutely absurd of them to be demanding 6’0 men.
I went on this rant because I was sort of stuck wt 5’11 when I was 18 and thought it’s over, but I did ended up having my last growth spurt.
When you ask them to hang out and they say they'll let you know when they're free, you ain't ever hearing from her again.
We don't want to just hang out. That's not a date. If a man doesn't want to put any effort in, I know I'm not interested.
Just be yourself
I would add to that - be the best version of yourself
as a teenage girl who just discovered this channel, im so excited to become a gentleman! thank you gent z james!
Finally better collars and suits nice to see.
Ah the games, men and women play. I have to sigh, one thing I feel very fortunate for, is that when my Husband and I started dating the paramount of the relationship was to establish from the start open, honest, communication, period. No back and forth, no being coy, just honesty, and in fairness, I think my Husband found the directness refreshing, I mean he must have, 13 years later and we are still happily married. I would also like to comment on your observation that women will make concessions on certain traits etc. yes I think that is true, however, while I believe wholeheartedly that there must be a mutual attraction, beauty is fleeting, it it what is in their mind and heart that truly matters. Just my thoughts. Great video James, and fabulous tie!
I agree with you completely and I'm glad that you are enjoying such a satisfying marriage. I have to ask you, do you think a certain type of 'love games' play a role in seduction and keeping a marriage exciting and interesting?
Good evening James, thank you for your response, and for your well wishes on my marriage, that is very kind of you, and appreciated. I have EHarmony to thank, as that is where my Husband and I met. In response to your inquiry, yes I most certainly do believe that “love games” and fun play a key role in keeping a marriage exciting, seductive, and interesting. One always has to remember that desire beings in the mind. So, enticing what is in your partner’s mind and bringing it to fruition, is what I think is a cornerstone to a lasting marriage. James, (my Husband) and I always keep things interesting by trying new things, going new places, and being open to new experiences like a cooking class or taking ballroom dancing. My advice too, for any man or woman, would be read the book Love Languages, by Gary Chapman. Some people loathe it, but I personally found it quite beneficial for anyone wanting to have a successful relationship as it teaches you how to love your partner so both your needs are met. I think my response has probably gone on longer than what you were looking, and if I were speaking I would be guilty of being loquacious, but I hope I was able to answer your question. Meg
@@Gent.Z Thank you for your reply, and for the well wishes on my marriage, that is very kind of you, and appreciated. I have to thank EHarmony as that is where my Husband and I met. In response to your inquiry, yes I do believe that ‘love games’ come into play when creating a happy marriage. We have to remember that desire begins in the mind. So it is very important to always keep things interesting and stimulating by trying new things and experiences. Such as, my Husband James and I thought it would be fun to learn ballroom dance, take cooking classes together, and traveling to new destinations. This speaks to keeping things exciting, interesting, and seductive. If you are able to fulfill and partake your partner’s passions, your relationship will never be dull. I also think every couple should read Love Languages by Gary Chapman. Now I have heard that some people do not like the book, but I personally found it very beneficial in teaching each other how to recognize your own personal love language, and your partner’s as well. This is probably a longer response than you were looking for, but I do hope I answered your question. Meg.
A REAL SOLID VIDEO! Kudos!
Thank you
I was just talking to a girl, and the conversation was a bit dry, and then it suddenly turned interesting.
What made it interesting?
Why is it always like that, always dry until shes not
I'm very shy, and can come off like this until I warm up to someone and feel more relaxed.
@@thedarkeststar76 that makes more sense i can understand that, from the other side it seems like disinterest but they keep texting which is very confusing lol
On a completely unrelated point were did you get the suit from? I'm not a fashion expert but I find that a grey suit is not to formal but not casual either. A black suit can sometimes be a bit bland and is best saved for funerals.
I'm about as exiting as the cops breaking up a party....... guess that's why I'm still single hahahaha
Ah, don't worry, it is the same in my case too - you just have to find a girl who appreciates that stability 😂
Perhaps you could add some adventure to your life before bringing a lady into it?
@@joshmiller7777 How's the dating market treating you? Good to see you here
@@Gent.Z Ah very kind of you James :) it's going very well, I've been with my girlfriend now for almost 6 months, and things couldn't be going better! Naturally, a little credit has to go to some of your style advice 😉. I hope it is going well for you too
@ congratulations! Glad to hear it
James, do you have a video on when to wear chinos vs dress pants for different suit jackets?
can someone tell me the name of the movie at 4:39 ?
nice video btw
It's from the David Lynch series Twin Peaks. I highly recommend it.
Another great thumbnail.
Thank you, Sam
I feel like some of the comments about James's content becoming too manosphere-ish are a bit unfounded. Unfortunately, many of the topics that James discusses can veer very much into a toxic territory but he tries very hard time approach the topic with tact and dignity. Never once is he saying that women should just say the truth or implying that they are lying. These things are very true for all kinds of relationships whether they be work or personal. We all are trying to protect ourselves and not say truly say everything that we feel.
God bless.
James, you are maturely wise for your age, if you do not mind me saying that. Or you are the greatest womanizer with loads of experience 😉😛
Xenia Zaragevna Onatopp.
Well spotted
Hi J. Perhaps You Should (in the movie scenes) show some not so beautiful women…
Why? Men are visual creatures. If you can find some unattractive women in Hollywood movies, serve it up. Thanks!
A feminine woman desires a masculine man. And that is all to do with energy. ✨✨
I agree with you there
Damn I make 6 figures but I'm only 5.8 ft
Close enough.
Hello, do you plan on responding to the video Jarvis made about you? He disagreed with you on a few things.
I don't plan on watching it. I have too many nice comments and messages I still haven't replied to.
@Gent.Z perhaps there's some constructive criticism there
@AugustasAG His channel exists to troll other RUclipsrs, not give them constructive criticism
In my opinion, there is no need to dignify a troll's drivel with a reply. His immature strawman argument is patronizing, relying entirely on contextomy, cherry-picking isolated phrases while ignoring the nuanced reasoning James presented. This person who is patronizing offers no more constructive criticism than a dilettante, feigning engagement for their own amusement (that of his audience) while lacking the sincerity or depth to truly understand James's argument.
Women seem to a built in mechanism that give them a very artful use of language. Usually to make themselves appear to be a better person than she actually is.
No. Many seeks to maximize attention, and attention-seeking behavior, while minimizing alienating or getting the to person to think "badly" about them otherwise.