Growing old without children
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- Опубликовано: 4 янв 2018
- An organisation is spreading the message about the issue of growing old without children, through a show they are putting on in March.
'Ageing without the young' will be putting on their 19th show, by creating a theatrical piece for this year's international Women's festival in the city.
Sue Lister
Director of AWOC
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I’ve heard a lot of people in general say that not having kids is selfish, but I think having kids for the sole hope that they will one day take care of you is on a whole other level of selfishness
Why is not having kids selfish? It's entirely selfless on an overpopulated, ravaged planet. Those who say that simply haven't thought deeply enough.
@@formulaic78 I get told I'm selfish for not having kids because my mother will never get to be a grandmother and my husbands mother will never be a grandmother. We are both only children so they won't ever have the opportunity to have a grandchild and that is apparently a pretty big problem to some people.
Looks like Conan O’Brien
@@meep5080 You are not selfish, your mom is being selfish because SHE wants to be a grandmother through YOU. No one that has kids should have any expectation of their children other that they hope that they grow into healthy responsible adults. So ignore them or set them in their place nicely.
Maybe you know that you are not selfish, but as a stranger I wanted to remind you that you are not. Also tell your cat to stop puking on everything ;)
@@nobitanobi I wish telling my cat to stop would help lol. She pukes out of anger. The vet says nothing is wrong she just gets too upset and vomits. Took us $3000 and a week of her staying at the vet to be told she is just hateful and doing it out of spite lol and it makes total sense for who she but it's not my favorite thing about her haha.
Thank you for your kind words. I do know I'm not selfish. Took a little while to feel that way, but I don't feel badly about it now and realize my life isn't my mother's story, it's mine and I get to write it however I see fit.
This lady says it as it is, most people don't realize that having kids doesn't prevent you from being lonely.
__ so true
Omgeeeee... Yes.....
Scott Johnston you can’t control if you end up with sociopathic ungrateful twats as kids, you can do your best but kids eventually end up being good people and bad people and it has little to do with the parents . There are good kids with bad parents and bad kids with wonderfully good parents
My father works in a senior care facility , many have families who drop them off and won't ever visit them. Loneliness can come at any age though , we have to teach ourselves not to be too dependent on other people for company.
Not for everyone. Luckily that's exactly why I'm not lonely. They are my everything and have unconditional love for me as I do them.
When my friends ask me who’s gonna take care of me when I’m old, I tell them….. the same people that will probably be taking care of YOU! I’ll be across the hall from you at nursing home! LOL 😂.
I hope you can pay for that for yourself then. Or you would go on altruistic suicide. The modell nowadays is not substantable in the near future.
@Ucim2Cute...🤣🤣🤣🤣😭
@saxo very seldom is the financial support coming mainly from the children. It comes from retirement savings,
@Zuma Zuma what a miserable life though.
@@carolinafine8050 Miserable life for not having to spend years of your life worrying and taking care of another person who may throw you in the nursing home and never even visit you? Yeah no thanks, feel free to have as much children as you want in my place, put 10 of them in the world. If your happiness depend of someone else, you're just emotionally weak.
I believe the best reason to have children is because you want them and you want to be a parent.
A McDonald's burger has more intelligence than you.
Dude, DUDE, your comment was actually so stupid, please never try to comment any of your opinions in the comment section again.
I think that's the only reason!
I would add to what you said - "without any expectations"
Wanting them and wanting to be a parent isn’t enough; you need to believe that you can give children a good childhood and set them up for success.
I am 56, and both of my two children have died. My first child, a son, was still born at full term. A year later, I delivered a healthy daughter. She died when she was 18, in a car crash that also killed her boyfriend. I am twice divorced, and I live in my own house. I don't let my losses define who I am. I still have accomplishments and am always setting goals. I have achieved a few dreams along the way.
That's a lot of tragedy. But good for you achieving your goals amidst that tragedy. You can still have solid relationships in your life. And also, stay/eat healthy, keep fit physically & mentally and enjoy the rest of your days! You might only be half way there!
Sorry for your loss but you're courage and choices have done you well.
Good for you, hon. xD xD
I am so sorry. May God make you stronger than you already are
Wow! I’m so sorry. I am 43 and don’t have children and always worry that I will be alone in my old age. I needed to read these comments and see this video. Endless blessings.
Trust me. Having children dosnt mean they will take care of you when you get older. Or even visit you. I’ve seen it many many times!
No, but the majority will at least notice that you are starting to get dementia and hire someone to take care of you. The rest depends on how you bring your children up.
@@jewelmarkess That actually might be the most important contribution. So you do not wonder in darkness not knowing what is happening to you.
@@annawarner1078 Exactly. This is the most important.
@@bamabelle7075 I do not have children and actually getting dementia and not knowing about it is my biggest worry. We do not have a social network in place to assure that people live their late years in dignity. And I do not know if having money prevents us from the elderly abuse.
@SAM Taylor You still have the other three. 3 who wouldn't speak to you might come around. At any rate, even if they don't take care of you, at least those who speak to you will notice that you need help and might hire and vet the caretaker if you in no conditions in even realize you need help.
Many childless people have had time to develop strategies for coping with being alone as they age. I feel sorry for the elderly who were caught by surprise by being abandoned by family. They must be heartbroken.
Move to a community in sun belt if you need interactions and friends
Seriously they had all day.
Because from what I noticed people with kids socialize less and some none at all dont have any true friends because they have children there as entertainment always... until one day they dont.
@@outlander234 such wise words.I know lots of people whose only social life is with their grown up children.
@@mostynthebrave6963 that's just sad
What a bright woman, she glows as she speaks. She's like a beautiful, elderly, Elizabeth Tudor. I'm in my mid 50s and have no children. I have dear friends though and am involved in my community. Hopefully, if I make it to my 80s, I'll find other like minded souls and we can keep the party going together.
Exactly what I thought. An elder Elizabeth Tudor! Same here but I just turned 60. We should really start an international group of people seeking like minded souls to travel with and keep the party going,
I would be glad to join the group. Welcome to my place first. @@stephaniet9264
She looks like a whiney narcissist.
I worked at an elderly home, adult kids rarely came to see them anyway.
Same, people still try to argue with me about having kids but I’ve seen first hand that having a kid doesn’t mean you’ll be cared for when you’re elderly.
She-Ra Ingle
And, unless you've got a culture where this is normal and you've a very supportive community that all pitches in to help one another, it can be incredibly stressful on the kids. Especially if they're poor, or have their own families to worry about.
@@dergluckliche4973 Jeff Foxworthy even joked about this as well where adults grow up and back into diapers.
He joked saying he was sitting next to his father-in-law when Jeff smelled "the smell". He turned to his in-law and called out his name.
Right off the bat the man shook his head.
Jeff called out his name again.
His dad-in-law shook his head again.
The old man pooped in his adult diapers. From a comedian stand point it is funny, but in real life when you're already caring for infants/grand babies and also caring for your elderly parents in diapers it's not funny. Something has got to give.
Exactly.. I seen with my own eyes how their children would hardly ever come or come then not stay long , it was ridiculous! It was a small percentage of kids that would come often
@@theoneandonlyK01 I was guilty of the short visits with my late grandmother. Full disclosure: we had a strained relationship due to her treatment of my parents and my uncle and his wife once I was old enough to understand what she put them through. She developed dementia and went into a typical nursing home after she broke a hip and was unable to return to her own house. Lot of elderly zombies, staff seemed OK but it smelled and was full of people wailing incoherently or sitting in hallways mumbling or catatonic and, through no fault of their own, being less than pleasant. Her nursing home was about a half hour's drive from me and then I moved and got rid of my car. I already wasn't terribly fond of her and as her disease progressed we became strangers to each other. She started losing the ability to form coherent sentences. The frequency of my short visits, which already felt like a chore, dwindled and eventually I said "I don't want to and I don't have to do this anymore." She lingered for a few years and I didn't see her at all for the last couple of them until the home called saying she was nearing death. My mother and I went one evening, said our goodbyes in about fifteen minutes and left. She was dead in a matter of days and it was a relief. My point is there are a lot of reasons elderly people languish with rare visits from relatives in nursing homes aside from selfishness (which is in the eye of the beholder) or even the ability to travel. I think I saw her more frequently than her own children until I didn't see her at all. Maybe that'll happen to me - and I don't have or want kids - but I hope to die before I start losing my mind the way she did.
generally speaking, when parents don't prioritize their kids growing up, the kids won't prioritize you when you're older.
I was a stay at home mom. My kids were my joy.
Very well put
Sandra McMann lucky you sis! That’s my dream goal of being a home stay mother with my 8 children’s ❤️
@@sandramcmann5824 nice
uchibenkei
Generally speaking maybe, but I know some pretty shitty kids that had amazing parents. Maybe they took them for granted.
I’m childfree by choice, and this is something that people threaten me with. “Who will take care of you when you are older?” And I also hear that I’m selfish to not have children. Quite honestly, I think it is selfish to expect that from your children. I started a meetup for childfree women in my community. I can foresee that I will continue being a community builder well into old age. It’s something that brings me great joy. People talk about legacy… well, facilitating a space where friendships have grown in a community where women felt like a unicorn and alone has been my greatest achievement.
😂
That was a great idea. I wish I was in your community.
...it's SELFISH to bring kids to this traumatic world even more when you can't afford money things.
Most parents are terrible at raising kids!
I find that kids adore me more than their parents who are REGRESSIVE and have nothing to offer to their offspring.
Yikes
@@JediTiga what about childless women making friends with each other scares you? 🧐
Having children for the sake of someone taking care of you in your dying years is the most selfish wish.
No, expecting & realizing/actualizing that goal, is!
No one has children just so they will have someone to take care of them in old age. No one ever says "I can't wait to have a baby, sit up all night with him when he's sick, feed him, change his diapers, raise him for 18 years, just so he'll take care of me in 50-60 years." People have children because mammals have an innate desire to procreate. I had children because I love taking care of them. They are so sweet and precious and I love being with them. If I ever get to the point where I can't take care of myself, I will end it. I will not be a burden to anyone.
I highly DOUBT a 20 or 30 year old young lady is thinking, "I'll have a kid to financially support me!" No one thinks about old age. Not really.
No one has kids for that reason. Who gave you that asinine idea???
Sorry, but it's really hard to imagine a person whose motivation is this. You just give so much to your child over the course of the years that it's ridiculous to simplify things like this. You give your life to them, and the most important thing you get in return is not old age care, no. The most important things you get in reward are 1) knowing there's a continuation of you in the world 2) becoming a different version of yourself. You change. You become somebody who's worth something, because you learn to love and give everything you have in the first place. Yes, you might expect or hope they won't abandon you when you're old, but you realise it's going to be their choice either way. You don't bring them in the world BECAUSE of this, it really sounds a bit dumb.
I admire her philosophy. “Who’s says family had to be biological”
a dumb way of thinking.
i have noone to have children with.
@@ProtoIndoEuropean88 Yeah, you sound like someone who has never had abusive parents or doesn't consider their friends or significant other as family.
@TheRaokenx It's not just biological though. You should expand your thinking.
I concur, family doesn’t have to be blood. I consider family to be unconditional love that’s family to me.
Don't have children if you have not healed your traumas. Plain and simple.
I feel same ,I didn't have kids because I had an addiction I would never bring kids in to my bullshit and they be puked up because of my life choices , hell no I couldn't do that , ...
I wish my parents followed your advice. They were unbelievably narcissistic, and manipulative.
Unfortunately, many people have children without realizing they have any trauma that needs healing. I feel fortunate that I decided not to have children, and one of the reasons is that I realize--looking back on my life after 66 years--that I really needed to spend most of it learning to parent myself in healthy ways. And my parents were not terrible people by any means. They loved me dearly but made mistakes sometimes, didn't really understand themselves that well, and were just products of an older, less enlightened generation. I ended up addicted to alcohol by the time I was in my twenties (alcohol and drug addiction does NOT run in my family, but my parents were food-aholics) and got sober the year I turned 30. Since then, I've learned healthier ways to cope with life on life's terms. So, in theory, at least, I agree with you; it would be much better if everyone who ultimately has kids has a chance to first realize that there might be some healing they need to do before becoming parents.
1 Life thanksimcured
Like uncovering a nugget of gold and giving it a shine.
My mother has seven siblings, and yet despite that my grandpa died alone in his house due to sudden heart attack. His neighbor found his body 3 days after his death. A tragic irony
In 7th grade we went on a field trip to visit a nursing home. I remember the sorrow I felt for the lady when she told me she has 4 children and none of them come to see her. She was almost in tears, I wanted to cry so bad, I gave her a big hug before we had to leave. That shit broke my heart Im almost crying thinking of it
Makes me wonder WHY. My Mom has not seen her parents in 30 years. I have never met them, and never will. I don't even know if they are alive. But, trust me, my Mom has good reason. Let's just say not everyone will forgive s*xual abuse even if she was only 6-7 when it happened. Her Mom did not participate, but did enable. Almost as bad.
@@LuKiSCraftyes I agree, I think if you did a good job as a parent your children will always stay in contact. Not everyone are good parents.
I'm 33, never married, no kids. I told my mother when I was 10 that I never wanted kids and she replied "You'll change your mind one day". 23 years later and I haven't budged an inch, especially in today's world.
Edit: Now over 33.
So no almony, child support or debts not of your own to pay. good on you
that was the most boring story ever. so you didnt told you mom few years after your 10th year that you will not have children? we anna hear a story what she says now to this. make it dramatic. emotional.
@@bestboy007 If you want a story, buy a book.
Wow I'm the EXACT same only 3 years older than you!
I forgot to put attention to having kids.
Having a kid just for the sake of built-in servitude is pretty selfish.
Thank you
yeah but sadly a lot of parents do that.
very selfish Western idea to see caring for your elderly parents as "built-in servitude"
@@Dontstaylonely you've clearly been brainwashed and made to be attached or co dependent to people who didn't care to spare your pain.
@@drearperry8727 since the beginning of time as humans we have cared for our elders. People now abandon them to be lonely in a nursing home with no second thought, and THAT's not brainwashing? if you became ill you would hope your family cared for you would you not?
Being alone is the best feeling ever. It is not lonely. It is quit and peaceful. I love it.
For me Long periods of being alone, or having stress gets me.
Just wait.
@@user-kd7zh6ui9pshut it
@@user-kd7zh6ui9p How long? I'm 70 and I still love being without children or other humans - I never say 'alone' because I have pets so I never feel alone.
@@shirleyswaine4701hope you're doing well . After 80 things will get bit harder for you to do even the basic activity. I hope you get someone during that hard Times.
People seriously need to stop thinking that children are a future retirement plan.
Your future child don't want to take care of you when you're an elder.
Having children is no guarantee that they will care for you or even be kind to you. People should not apologize for not wanting children. It’s a individual choice.
@4eversunny St. Petersburg
Children or not, a person shouldn’t be directed by the fear of there being a small chance of children ending up unkind even after they’ve been raised to be kind. Fear of something that hasn’t even happened is not really healthy reasoning.
@ade 90
To remain virgin or not is absolutely a choice, but it’s saddening that someone would base this choice on having bad experiences with men. What about all the potential good experiences they shut down by keeping their mind on the bad ones? And what if the woman is only looking amongst the wrong kind of men?
My family has 30 percent chance of getting mental illness, probably due to inbreeding lolz. Now I am scared of having children.
@ade 90 I've been a virgin for over 20 years and I'm proud of it! People need to live their lives for their own reasons, not trying to look like you have a good life in front of others, you got nothing to prove to anybody! So exactly! It's none of their business!
@Christian Lopez Except sometimes children brought up the same way in the same family turn out drastically, inexplicably different.
Don't expect anything from anyone.
So true! That way there's no disappointment
then dust your hands off. everyone dies alone anyway
Yep! Just bc a parent has a child who shares their DNA does not mean that he/she owes them anything for bringing them into this world.
Your birth was your parents' choice, not yours.
@Monkey H disagree, you don't know what some of those parents put their kids through and then expect them to take care of them afterward just because they share DNA
@Monkey H no. You don't owe your parents because as already written above, THEY chose to have you. So they shouldn't expect anything in return just because of that, jeez. If that was the case, it would be like : have as many kids as you can, for they will have to serve you forever from the moment they earn money!!
Now, if sons/daughters decide to help and be there on their own because they genuinely want, that's another story and it's wonderful.
I made a old poeple friend . She is 70 . She is alone no kids or family and husband died . I am adopting her into my massive family so she never has to be anxious or depressed again . She’s very anxious and scared of being alone . I fell for her sweetness immediately.
Your wonderful!
Where did you find her I want one !
Damn shorty, how about you adopt me too 😍
Nice gesture but age 70 is not an "Old PERSON."
That's so lovely of you. Big Blessings 💐
I don't expect my kids to care for me when I'm old, never expected that from them. They'll have a life and maybe a family of thier own, so they'll be very busy. I've always wanted to have kids to give them life of love and joy growing up, not very many kids have loving homes and that is something I wanted to give to mine.
i wish there were more people like you 😭 you’re going to be an amazing mother!!
Not many kids have loving homes or homes at all sad truth :( did you adopt?
If there was more people like you, the world would be a better place.
Exactly my thoughts
This exactly.
If you make babies because you don’t want to be alone when your old you will be alone (without your children.). Children aren’t props, they are people.
You are just a vehicle to get them here. On loan. They were never truly yours.
I did that because not to feel lonely.just to have some one around. Kid here and i still feel lonely. Cus he turn out to be anti social.
Nikki Brooks it’s not his fault
Totally agree with you. Although I am taking care of my mom ‘cause I love her. But I do see how most children treat their elderly parents. I don’t want to have kids myself. I’d rather save my hard earned money for my retirement.
@@nikkibrooks1752 get a dog
Growing old without money is worst.
**worse 💙
Growing old, having a lot of money one does not deserve, is no hit either....
We don't need much money. What does 'without money" mean?
Yes, because trinkets and traveling are the things you care for the most when preparing for death.
@@hulking_presence Yes, that's all money is used for. It's definitely not used for healthcare, a home, a vehicle, food, heat, running water, electricity, or anything else. Why would old people EVER need money for any of those things, when they could just simply die? I love your point of view, keep it up man.
Nothing more sadder than elderly people being alone. We need more community to support people from feeling lonely. Everyone deserves to leave this world feeling loved and cared for.
What about young people being alone?
@@elsagrace3893 it sucks, yes.
@@andrewmuse2756 Lol you can't do anything to avoid human nature, humans are social beings. Humans being humans is the problem, basically.
Even someone like me, an introverted person who doesn't mind being alone most of the time, still need human contact once in a while. Having my parents and family support me in hard times has helped a lot.
So, being completely alone on your last years, not having anyone care for you, of course it would feel awful to people, especially to those who naturally crave more affection than others.
In my country, and in many others as well, we don't let our old family members die alone in some nursery home. Family is a strong support system in these cultures, that's what's probably lacking in your culture.
Being alone and lonely are two different things. There is nothing worse then being around ppl and feeling lonely!
So make kids becuse no one of your friends take care of you! Remember that your friends want you just in happy days.
“Dance me a lonely dance, that would be wonderful.”
Yes indeed, yes indeed…
When I was 8 years old I remember telling my mom I didn't want to have kids. She said "you don't have to." It blew my mind.
Lol my 8 yr old daughter tells me that all the time. I think it's my fault though, cuz she caught me watching "Call The Midwife."
Great mum.
Sounds like you have a great mum. Mine was the typical reaction of not believing it and saying that's gonna change. Well.. I'm 35 and it hasn't changed so far.
My mom is the greatest mom for this reason, she doesn’t try to pressure me into being anything I don’t want. She was the one to tell me to never lose that fire and passion for drawing and supports what I want to be, I’m gonna make her proud one day for me and for her 💛
@@wiffywiffy7896 If all parents were like that, we'd be living in a different world...
I'm almost 60, never married and never wanted children and I have no regrets about these decisions and never felt lonely either.
Awesome! 👍👏⭐
She has that verbose way of talking typical of people that have no emotion going on in their lifes so they fill that space with intellectual activities. You can really tell she has that sad and dull vibe about her, you can really tell she's missed out on the most important part of life(and I'm not referring exclusively to having children)
@@jarto10 What does that have to do with their comment?
@@WhoDaFukIsSbeve I was just protesting against celebrating loneliness as a life choice. It's a legit choice yes, but a bad one nonetheless
@@jarto10 she sounds like every old lady lol she may feel 'missing out' just because society dictates that raising children is a must and you're wrong if you don't do that
Don't have kids and expect ANYTHING of them, ESPECIALLY taking care of you. Things happen. Life happens. Kids are not here to take care of you. Kids don't WANT the burden of YOU, they already have the burden of life that YOU gave them.
THIS.
in my culture you take care of your parents no matter what
You have a coward mentality. I will take care of my parents until their last breath! They have given me the greatest gift of all, LIFE. Taking care of them is the least I can do for them. Not everyone has your mentality and it would be wise to not generalize again. Take care.
@@ryannechvatal9888 it's not cowardly, it's a realist mindset.
To the person who has been lied to, the truth always seems harsh and met with disdain.
It's better for families to take care of each other. That is what families are for
You forgot that some people have no children because they never married. Their own childhood was so miserable from unloving and abusive parents that they didn't want to risk marriage and possibly being that kind of a parent to their own children. They had no role model of a parent. They are happy being single, but no one will be there for them as they age.
100%
Much more concise & succinct than my long comments.
and you forgot 0:30
Pretty much my story...
Why do you even give a shit? People CHOOSE to be shitty parents even though they have a rubbish upbringing themselves and they treat their children like how they were treated, no one can do anything about that,.
Me? I don't get lonely or bored. My kids all live in Ohio and I live in Florida. They visit 1-2 a year. I'm 73 and I'm just not that mom who says,
"You never call me..you never visit me." I gave them wings to fly. They are very independent and have never asked me for a thing.
I texted my daughter the other day and said, " You don't have to worry about me. I hear your heartbeat all the way to Florida. " She wrote back. "Thanks mom...I needed that. "
Put me in a Nursing Home when I can no longer take care of myself... 3 meals a day.. a TV and the internet is all I need. I can live the rest of my life with memories. ( I did live through the era of Free Love..and Disco) so I got a lot of memories..ha I NEVER want anyone to feel guilty or obligated... never. I can entertain myself.
Trudy 💜🙏
@@Daisy-yi8om Thank you Liz..that was nice of you. In my family that I created " No news is good news.."
We are all just a heartbeat away... my adult children are so busy with their own lives.. and so are their children.
We all know that we love each other deeply. I close my eyes and they are all with me.
Trudy You are a wonderful Mother I’ll come and visit next time I’m in Florida 😊🏖 lol
@@Daisy-yi8om hahaha Yes.. I'll fix us a pitcher of Mango Margaritas.. xoxo
Trudy Mango my favorite🍹
God Bless🙏
..... I use to work in a nursing home, and there were hundreds of people in there who never saw their children. Families would come in at Easter or Christmas for an hour or two, then they were not seen for the rest of the year. If you have children with the hope that you have someone to take care of you when you are elderly......you may be in for a very rude shock.
I won't have kids for I can take care of my parents, they dederve everything in the world
I noticed the same thing myself working in a nursing home for 5 years. Which made me think what the point was in having children. You raise them and they go off on their own one day and you dont see them much anymore. Then you get old and they forget about you. So I would wonder why do it anyway?
Yup!!!
@@e.b.0001 First, fuck ALL culture, tradition, habit. Fairness should come first.
Secondly, the evil of Eastern culture is FORCING children to take care of their breeders, in spite of the children NEVER AGREEING to be born, and regardless how good or bad the breeders treated their children.
@@e.b.0001 Because you have parents or in-laws that will meddle in their children lives by running down ragged. What I mean by running their lives how the way the feel? Well, meddling in their marriage, children, social life, and work environment. You do have problematic parents who are so miserable and selfish. And do not care about you! But, about themselves and why they feel can get out for you. Here in the western culture there are a many toxic families and most think this okay to have them around. Why? Because you their approval over everything. Hence, Toxicity of family, friends, children and co workers. Family are the main root of problem. Now, most people , such as yourself my not have this problem within your family. Don't put everyone in box for people to take of their parents. I met some people parents, that would horrible things to them. Like, shit on themselves while sitting on the couch, knowing that they can actually get up!! And go to the bathroom themselves. Or bring unsolicited people of family members who are jealous of what you have, but the know they don't like that family members because the steal and do drugs. Again! Do not give a shit how you feel or about your boundaries. So, when you say you do not understand this where is the love and compassion for not caring for parents. The question YOU NEED TO ASK TO THE PARENTS!!! "Is What did you do to your children for them to care for you existence?"
If you treat your kids badly, expect that you'll be treated way worse by them in the future.
I cringe everytime someone says, "It'll be the best experience of your life."😐 Speak for yourself.
They want to pull you into the same misery. 😂😂😂
@@orasis exactly they don’t want to feel alone in their dumb ass decition
Yeeeeeeeeppppp!!!!
It is for most people.
It's mostly just hormones talking... Not saying anyone should or shouldn't have kids. But when someone says it was the "greatest moment of their life", just remember they were literally high as a kite on a cocktail of endorphins, oxytocin and dopamine when they felt that way.
She looks like real life version of the painting of Queen Elizabeth I..
she was done up for the interview,
That's not a compliment...
I’m crineeeeeeeeeee
Damn
She looks like a female Conan
My parents took really good care of me so I'm planning to take care of them when they get old.
Same here
It takes all kinds of people everywhere 🍅🍄🍓🍉🍇🍌
You will be happy.
You are already wise.
Me too!
@apple tree it will mean the world to them. I am caring for my lovely very frail mum at home. Hardest thing to face is saying goodbye. Hoping as the end is rapidly coming that i can give her what she wanted..to pass at home. Its the hardest thing one can watch alone in a pandemic hoping to be strong gracious enough to fulfill this gut wrenching goodbye and promise to a mum i love so dearly.
I’m 43 years old, never married, no children. I love being single. No divorce, no divorce lawyers, no alimony, no child support, no drama, no debts, don’t have to worry about losing everything I have. I refuse to be with a woman. I’m staying rich and single for the rest of my life.
Bro you still have alot of time to procreate. It's a wonderful thing to be a father and be called a dad. It's priceless and the joy you get is bottomless. Try it my brother you.wont be disappointed.
@@___Anakin.Skywalker not for everyone, you yourself would love to be a parent what if someone comes and tries to make you think otherwise and guilt you into not having kids? You will be severely annoyed and you know yourself damn well that you will have kids, that's the same thing that people who don't like to have children feel but turn the topic the other way
@@selcouthkalopsia775 barren people are missing alot.
@@___Anakin.Skywalker same thing could be said about people with kids, they are missing out
@@___Anakin.Skywalker if people don’t want kids they don’t have to get kids just beacuse you want them to stop forcing your opinions
My dad died surrounded by all his children. We took care of him until he passed. If you want your children to be with as they grow older, it is up to the parents to be something they want in their life. I lost count how many times I've heard parents telling their kids they will be kicked out once they turn 18.
Yep, you reap what you sow. There are a lot of shitty parents out there who did the bare minimum and expect accolades of gratitude. Boy, aren't they in for a rude awakening.
Exactly
Absolutely
I worked nursing homes. No ones kids took care of them. Strangers did.
Exactly. I worked at a retirement home and half of them would be sitting alone on Christmas. Very sad.
True - my mother & I looked after an elderly woman for 30yrs (Used to be our landlady) as she had no one. (Except greedy nieces & nephews who were her husbands kin) & had to be the one to organise her into a nursing home (as she trusted my mother to look after her wellbeing as well as her money.)- looked after her, feed her, take her to the doctor etc. My mother & I would go to the nursing home 3 times a week to do Bingo for the other residents as well. before & after she passed away. Not one of the relatives came to her funeral only me, mum & her accountant (she trusted & so do we) but when the money came from the will - oh ho did they suddenly get in touch as she was a wealthy woman.
My moms wish was that we take care of her. She had frontal lobe dementia. It was the most painful experience of my life seeing her transition, but I know she is in a better place and her children fulfilling her wish of taking care of her before she passed makes me smile. Especially when I continue to hear stories of families that don’t.
She passed away August 10th.
white people smh
I’d never allow that to happen to my parents. I call or text my Mum every day to see how she’s doing.
My mother had many kids, she tried so hard to be a good mom. Most of them ignored her when she got old and sick, died. It changed my view on the family. Dumped them. Thinking of an exit-plan is good. When you are in your fifties, think about how you plan to spend your old age. Stay fit and healthy for starters, that will make the latter part of your life more pleasant. And never count on your kids, no matter how hard you have worked for them, how much you loved them. My mom knows.
Dang. That's super sad.
Very true.
At the same time some parents are just horrible parents, like my mother..
I am in the same boat.
It's very sad. I saw it when I worked at a senior apartment complex. I had 4 sisters we took care of both are parents until they passed . I can't imagine not being there for them. They were always there for us. It's the circle of life .
@Jess Grma yes
“You're still so young! Don't you want to leave a legacy when you die?” No, I won't care, because I won't fucking be here.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Exactamundo!!!!!! Brava
You missed the point.
@@tren380 Elaborate?
I'd rather be childless than be the terrible father I know I'd be.
Exactly, some people say “You must have children, it’s the best time of your life!” Not for everyone, some children will bring stress to the parents, and those parents may become bad parents, maybe even abusive. I respect your decision, it’s not everyone duty to have children.
I am curious, how can you know you'd be a terrible father if you were to be a father ?
Good on you. Me too. I didn't have kids because I thought I would be a terrible mother. I am 67 now. It was the right decision.
I am elderly now. I would have been a terrible father.
Acknowledging that you're a dirtbag and resigning to it makes you an even bigger dirtbag.
I spend 90% of my time alone by choice.
What do you do with the other 10%? Who you been hanging out with and how old are you?
@@brothertn708 childhood..?
@Dorset Deb and that should be upsetting because? Go back to your box and be a good kid now.
Being alone and making money is the only thing that matters
@Dorset Deb you give enough Sh!t about someone expressing their opinion, for some reason. Maybe you actually don't like spending time alone, and you are venting.
Again, go back to your box, if you don't want to be around people and people sharing their experiences irritates you.
Its sad how people are told to have children just so that they wont be alone in old age, when thats not a guarantee at all even if you do. Your reasons for having children cannot be selfish or you will suffer under the weight of the responsibility.
EXACTLY
Yes
All reasons to have kids are selfish reasons.
I mean honestly every reason to have children is selfish. What reason isn't selfish? Everything we do in life is based on building it the way we want to live, so we're all selfish to some degree.
I get told that all the time when people ask me why I don't want/have children. "But who will take care of you when you're old!?" That's a beyond selfish reason to have children, it's deeply irresponsible and a horrible way to look at it. You should have a kid because you want to because you want to watch something blossom and grow and do your best to take care of it but to expect them to lift your burdens is disgusting.
Conan o'brien living as an old woman in parallel universe
Lol
Conan😂😂😂😂.
How does this not have more likes? When I read the title and then saw the picture, I actually thought this was a skit about Conan growing old without children.
Omgg so true…been thinking she looks like someone… 🤣🤣
I thought it was Art Garfunkle at first glance 😳
This is why it's important by your 40s to: 1) learn to be happy with yourself and your own company 2) cultivate a hobby the you engage with consistently 3) start studying again, learning more about something you like (ex. gardening) 4) stay up to date with technology
Yes, but that doesn't address the issue of frailty and declining health.
@tanyahardy5065
5) always workout, be active, have a healthy diet and you won't be frail
Fear of loneliness shouldn’t be a reason to have kids in the first place - having kids should be unconditional.
When Grapes Pop I’m afraid of being “extinct,” lol. I don’t know why, but I just have this fear of not having enough of something, or something running out, or no longer existing.
Saydah that’s why God exists. Your flesh will die but your spirit won’t if you’re a good righteous person living in Christ.
Skinny legend Steve well, I’m Muslim so that concept isn’t new to me, thanks for the reminder though.
As someone who doesn’t want kids at the moment at least, I think it could definitely be one reason, because family means you are less lonely and humans seek intimacy, but shouldn’t be the sole reason.
Saydah np
Why is this recommended to me? Because I’m 38, unmarried and no kids? Damn you RUclips 😩
Me too
Ditto.
@Mainstream music mediocrity Totally happy with friends, family and fun hobbies. Thanks for your sincere concerns for us...
Meaning you have a whole life to enjoy just for you. Spend money, go places, meet cultures, do you!
ha same, but very thankful im unmarried (ive never met a happily married man in my life), and no kids :)
The thing is that old age isn't guaranteed. People die long before they reach old age. Heart disease, cancer, car accidents, drowning... there are a million ways to go. I'm 36 and never had a relationship and don't plan to have children. I've never understood the point of having children nor the people who do.
As someone who lost so many loved ones at a very young age (many before they ever even reached 40), I totally agree
Honestly, having kids so they can look after you when you're old is maybe one of the most selfish reasons to have kids.
That’s why I stopped being friends with my one buddy. He said this and is now doing this and with a fat single mom at that. He ain’t cool no more and I could care less about his future losers.
@@Filthy_LarryIs he married or dating single mom really? Are you alone after that?
@@Deernailt lmao. Alone nah. Alone is a frame of mind. He’s dating a single land whale and has negativity oozing out so it’s better I ain’t around that. What purpose does that serve?
Narcissistic people typically have children as a means to an end. Eventually their children will grow up to know this.
Sometimes people mistake a child as an answer for something.
Often*
Agreed, I have 3 kids and I absolutely hate them. I don’t even speak to them
People in the trailer park get more money for having more children
@@ratsfamn6518 oh hi dad i see you are making lots of friends on the internet.
Philoctetes Returns are you referring to the person who literally said “I would not be a good mother”, how is self-awareness “foolish”?
I swear, half the generation of 50-60 year olds fucked their kids up so badly, because they thought popping out kids was mandatory or something.
The amount of times I’ve been taken to one-side by older ppl who have told me “do not have kids. If I could go back in time, I never would have had them” - I can’t even count them.
So I don’t think its the answer for ultimate fulfilment. You ppl in the kids-club spend your lives worrying about how “unhappy” the rest of us are. If you’re so fulfilled and happy, why are you spreading your patronising kiddie-gospel in youtube comment sections?
If everyone ends up super-unhappy, why do you care?
Seriously, let ppl be.
She looks like Conan O’Brien’s mother.
(EDIT: Guys, just to be clear... this wasn’t a roast. Just an observation. I love Conan O’Brien, but his facial features are rather striking nonetheless)
You made me laugh out loud! Thank you 😂🤣
Looks like conan o'Brien
Yeah, I also thought it was just Conan without makeup.
😭🤣🤣🤣OMG I WAS TRYING NOT TO LAUGH. OMG THAT'S MEAN DUDE🤣🤣🤭
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 I thought that was him for a second
I’m 44 years old, never married, no children. I choose to be child free and marriage free by choice. I love being single, staying single as long as I live.
I am 23 and with autistic deaf still a virgin still don't want to get married and reproduce due to issue generation
So I'll stay single for life by the right choice and enjoy my job and money using the asl language
You won't love it once your body starts to betray you ....
nah better than betrayal of your wife@prernasingh8908
@@prernasingh8908there are no guarantees in life. You can try and plan for every eventuality and it may still not work out as you planned. Be married have 2 children, one moves to the other end of the country and doesn't care much, the other sees you once in a blue moon. Your spouse dies unexpectedly just before retirement.
You are as single as anyone else at that stage but you've not planned for this.
@@drdavidstr no it isn’t
My mother is a malignant narcissist. Toxicity is all ever knew growing up. She made my life a living hell & I have NO desire to care for her as she ages. It's something I have struggled with for nearly a decade due to my Christian faith. I have forgiven her for the hateful & horrible things she did to me, but that doesn't mean I want a relationship.
Consequently, I never had children so I hope to have a vibrant life as I age like this woman.
Same.
One of the only reasons I can think of as to why I don’t want children is because I don’t want to mess them up mentally. I’m not up for the amount of responsibility and attentiveness needed to raise a child due to my own problems. So I’d never want to make a child suffer like that, nor rely on a partner to be there instead.
Thoughtful insight. 👍
Totally agree with u.. Mine story is same..
my thoughts exactly
@Rose none taken brotha
Same
I'm 65. No kids. Never wanted any. I never felt that i was secure enough in my own life to bring another life into the world. I think that unless you are able to care for a child from cradle to grave you shouldn't have kids. (and I mean that literally after you are dead you are still able to care for your child) Your responsibility doesn't end when they turn 18.
No, you do not have responsibility for your child once they have a family of their own. You will always be there for them, and love them.
Well said
« It is correct that your responsibility doesnt ends when they age 18... but it is wrong to state that it is yours until you die... your responsibility ends until they mature enough to become people and mature individuals, at that point they should know how to maintain and take care of themselves... »
@@sebastiansantos1471 ...and what happens if they don't mature into independent people? Many are born with life-long disabilities. Down syndrome? Permanent handicaps? Is your responsibility over at age 18? Hope for the best but prepare to care for your child until death.
@@dstmars1 « Yes thats how it works they should be mature enough so if they havent matured until 90 for example they are going to be your responsibility still, thats why the optimal is to teach them to take care of themselves until 18 or less, there are individuals who have some kind of disease they are born with, but sadly some of those kind of children most of the times dont live long lives, about the handicapped individuals if they can be educated to take care of themselves they can live long good lifes without you taking care of them, the only issue I see right there is that you may need money or maybe many resources... Thats it... »
I'm 33, no sign of any kids and not looking good for the future... feel pointless sometimes, but everything happens for a reason!
To have no children doesnt mean life is meaningless or something. Find your own meaning :)
If you realy want children check out foster care or adoption.
yes I feel the same, we have a big task for ourselves to give meaning to our lives and what we can do for our own friends (kids) and future
Just adopt a kid and make a difference to a child that has nowhere else to turn rather than pump out another person into this hell hole of a world just for them to take up out resources & inevitably die.
You are not defined by having or not having children
I can't imagine not being there for my grandmother (who is also my godmother), I feel like her remaining years are more tolerable because of me, it's something I'm proud of.
i hope, if i reach her age, that i have the level of mental clarity she has
She's 35
@@wms72 I love u
Eat well - lots of protein, good fats, and green veggies, and exercise EVERY DAY. At least a good 30 minute walk and some light weights. Surround yourself with positivity and do good things for others.
Seriously. Most people I've seen at this age aren't nearly as lucid and seem to slow down mentally.
My aunt had 5 children not one of them took her in because of there spouses all they wanted her for was money very sad way to go
I read this as "Growing old without chicken", lmfao, time for bed.
Definitely well past your bed time lol.
You’re not the only one.
LMAO!!
*time for lunch
hahahahaha
Most of my old patients go to our clinic without their kids busy with their own lives and mostly brought by a kind neighbor or a friend to get their check up.
"Because I want to/don't want to" is a valid reason
Believe me, having kids in no way stops you being lonely😪
at least it fills the hole in your heart
@@m.fajarkurniawan643 Not if your kid cuts you out of their life as soon as they move out.
@@m.fajarkurniawan643 what hole in your heart?
@@m.fajarkurniawan643 Agreed, just because they do it wrong doesn't mean I will
@Odaliz Orozco-Rueda no thank you, hail satan
You can’t always blame adult children, it’s a very complex dynamic with so many variable and emotions involved. Usually media takes side of old parents but no one really asks the adult children why they don’t talk or don’t visit their aged parents, if you simply ask you will hear and understand why this happens. Parents can be cruel with their children when growing up or even after they are adults and in most cases refuse to acknowledge their errors, mistakes and cruelty, sometimes all takes is for a parent to say “sorry” for a child to forgive them but most parents out of their own ego and narcissism refuse to do so. Unfortunately This is the way it is and leads to many many broken families
Exactly. There’s a lot of bad parents nowadays. No wonder why there kids want to get away from them
Yup, too many parents these days have no time for children when they need them, but the second those parents are in need, they expect their kids to come care for them. It is a two way street. Sadly though, there are many kids who dont realize how good of parents they had.
Spot on. My mum is not a bad person; but she was not a good mother at all (to make it short, narcissistic and emotionally negligent ). When I was absolutely not well (mentally) in my early twenties, I would often tell her how many things she did messed me up, and she would refuse to acknowledge any of it... nowadays I just try to make my peace with her flaws and try to remind myself that she is the way she is because she was so damaged by her own upbringing. However, not sure what I'm going to do if I ever have to take care of her, and have to give up my chosen way of life (at least for some time). :/
@@V.CatCroissant Honestly bro I understand you cause I'm in your situation right now with my mother. She's a good person to an extent but a terrible mother and she refuses to ever admit it. I've told her multiple times that if she doesn't change then she'll end up alone and I fully intend to show her that reality because I believe once she's truly alone within her thoughts, she'll start to look back at life. As a child, we can never tell our parents their flaws because if their egos so all you can do is let them learn in their own. I'm honestly only able to do this cause I'm a cold person but I can't say the same for you cause you seem like you actually want to connect with her and you're actually trying to do so.
Y'know, I was really upset when I was in a Walmart a couple months ago, and there was this young lady with a kid who was likely not much older than 1 year old. He was crying and asking for his dad, and she was so cruel to him. She repeatedly told him to shut up, and when he wouldn't stop sniffling, she yanked him closer and told him to shut up or she would beat him. I felt so bad for that kid, he was just a toddler that wanted to see his dad. It wasn't his fault that his mom, for whatever reason she might have, didn't even want to hear him mentioned. While I really would have liked to give that bitch a piece of my mind, I remembered that that would likely be the last time I'd ever see them in public, and after I chewed her out she probably would have went home with him and been twice as nasty to him. I don't know how old she was, but likely she was around my age. Odds are she would have tried to duke it out with me, and I do have to consider that it would be a bad idea to do that in case the kid got caught in the cross fire. Even though she's abusive, odds are the kid would be so sad to see her get the shit beat out of her because that's still his mom. Sad to say that even if the kid's dad was a felon, I'd prefer that he have that boy than her, simply because the boy seemed to care about his dad being missing and his mom was just such a pathetic excuse of a mother in that moment. It really hurts to see kids going through that, but this is the first time I've witnessed in person such a mother treat a kid so harshly that was THAT young. It's such a scary thing to have someone bigger than you hovering over you with as much malice as they can muster. It's a power thing, because these parents don't realize that the kid will grow up some day. And some day that kid might just beat the shit out of you and end up in jail, because you made it clear that abuse is ok.
I had four children. They couldn’t care less. I’m old on my own. Their dad is long gone to.
Loneliness I can handle. Knowing my children sacrifice their dreams and potential just to be close to me so I'm looked after and not alone, I could never accept.
She forgot 1 reason for not having children,,you couldnt find a halfway decent spouse to have children with!🤔🤨
You always end up with the ones you deserve. Maybe the problem isn't everyone else..
@@dexter131 so you must be an official utube psych, what u said makes 0 sense, stick to reading books on the subject
Yesssss!!!!
@@dexter131 This is a way to belittle and shame single people.
That's honestly a good mindset. Never have children w a shitty spouse
She certainly has her wits about her. She's nice.
@Seegh Hyle you simple as hell for that joke huh she does have the Jermaine Jackson going on rn.
@Erin you kidding me she has better hair than I do! I'm jealous 😂😂😂
She seems happy and not stressed
My grandma said that she said having kids don't cure loneliness
@@philuntaysterling4597 Should have been nicer to Grandma.
I'd rather be lonely than force my children to suffer this world. I can't think of anything more selfish than forcing someone into existence for my own benefit.
Everyone born came here of their own free will.
@@quantumhealing333 how
I am 27 not even close to getting married. I suffered child neglect and its affected me so much as an adult. It makes me not want to bring children into this cold and more so evil world.
Same age and similar experience
^
Same girl, same. And that's okay, society shouldn't push such a serious commitment on anybody
I completely relate
When I clicked on the answers link I was expecting at least one, maybe more answers, to empower you to have children arguing that due to your experience you will certainly better with your children ending up as a very good mom....am I too naive here? It looks like because its 4 to 0;-(...what is wrong with my argument?
Nosey person: "But who will take care of you when you're old?"
Me: Probably the same people who will take care of you when your kids get tired of you.
😄😄😄
Chihiro Sen everyone dies alone ,..anyway..
😂😂👍👍👏👏😎😎😂😂
@@jencee
We were born alone
We will live alone
We will die alone
A civilized society takes care of it's most vulnerable. I'm all for paying higher taxes that old, disabled etc. Have a life worth living. Everyone can help to contribute to the world. Having children is just one option.
As for raising kids "it takes a whole village to raise a child". It's not only the biological parents' job to raise a good person. We have countless teachers thru out our lives, and we are teachers to countless others :)
We all die alone. Sorry to break it to ya snowflakes🤷
That's not true; when my Dad died my mum was with him, as was one of my siblings and one of my children.
I remember working in a hospital. And looking after a elderly lady in her 80’s. Her son barely came to visit. I went to wash my hands and he followed me, just to tell me “I believe you are should to be looking after my mother “ . It’s just sad
Me: *scrolling through youtube to feel less depressed*
RUclips: "growing old without children"
Me: thanks
@Eris Thank you very much. Yes usually it is animal videos that make me feel better, this vid was just in my recommended, a bit funny :)
@@Partor6 I was going to say the same as Eris. Go refresh your self with positive content. It really helps. Music I love always makes me feel better. Try to stay away from the more mopey music tho, at least when you are feeling down.
Hope you found a more inspirational video✌🏼
Trip that lsd man it help alot
Dániel Ferenczi you are not alone.
It always irked me to ear the "you must have children to being taken care of in the future". "No Madame, a child is not an insurance policy". A lot of them "forget" their parents in their old age. Some have rough time with money but help. And some stay close, but it is rare. So, don't go around having kids just for that, because it's a recipe for heartbreak, and disaster.
So true
And not just for the person who should be taken care , but the kids that are often told, " well you are my kid; so you have to take care of me once I grow old" like they make it sound like thats a demand like they expect you too. My mom told me, " I dont want to be a burden for you and expect you to do things or expect money from you becauae one day, you will have your own family and itll be hard too, but please, dont forget about me".. I love my mom and dad and will gladly take care of them !
Or show your kids. I see my mom take care of her mom so it makes me want to be there for her as well when she's older. This reality is getting lonelier and lonelier that's not good. Human beings are social creatures. Families are important
My family has been good about visiting each other and especially our parents. I don't think it's so rare. I know my parents would have done anything for me. So, when my Dad needed me, I took care of him for 5 years or he would have been in a nursing home, which he would have hated and not lived as long. He got to stay in his home, with his neighbors, his dog and his dignity. I'm grateful I could do it .
It’s those parents like mine who treat their kids like an insurance policy that make me want to go as far away as possible and live my own life.
let’s normalize adopting and/or never having kids. it’s too many without a household as it is.
Nice try China. Your punctuation once again gives you away
@OneFortyFour Nothing wrong with that. People are dumb.
@OneFortyFour It's because man is simply a vile, narcissistic & terrified creature that only wants to see its biological matter pervade the Earth due to its fear of non existence. The ego tricks man into thinking they'll live on after their death in the hearts of their biological offspring; the reality is this is a trick for nature to continue pumping out more creatures. We are but straw dogs.
Let's not
Don’t have kids just for cheap medical labor when you get old, people
Children are more expensive than any medical labor.
"one who takes pride in solitude is never lonely."
-some wise whatsitsname.
Edit: well this blew up faster than I expected. And yes I just remembered that I got it from one punch man manga, I just couldn't recall which.
!!!!!! 🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽
@@prittyugly86 You're not being honest! I agree we should know how to enjoy solitude, but rejection is entirely different. I mean: you HAVE satisfying relationships, then you tell others they should know how to live without!
rachel Garcia if someone has been rejected they wouldn’t take pride on being alone.
yeah,bcause you r with your own shadow. good thg ?
Miraversal 😂🤣😂🤣
My aunt adopted a child, gave him everything, but still she can’t depend on him or her grandchildren in her old age. If it wasn’t for my mom, she’d be on her own at 90. Raising kids is no guarantee.
Nah, the problem in liberal social construct that you don't owe anything to anyone. I'm an Indian immigrant in the states and me and my wife ( she's white) take care of them and they live with us, people around us think it's bad and they should be living by themselves but this is juts not how the Indian society taught me. It's all social.
Gerardo Garcia why do you believe it to be human behavior? While I agree that it can be an influence, for example as we get older and enter our teenage/adulthood stages we tend to be more rebellious and start to feel the need to be independent from our parents. I think that it’s more largely attributed to social/cultural norms then nature. Western countries (USA, Canada, and Western Europe) are more likely to be individualist culture which prizes independence, competitiveness and personal success. Which means western culture doesn’t reward people or incentivize us to take care of our parents just for familial loyalty. We are taught to fend for ourselves and always look for a reward. While collective cultures which are found in eastern parts of the world (Asia, Africa, and parts of Latin America) are more focus on social harmony, respect to elders, obedience and family connection. Which value the complete opposite traits, they are taught to care for the elder because of a sense of community. Just like the parents took care of the child when they were young the child must then be the ones to take care of the parent once the parent reaches a point where they can’t fend for themselves. Of course each side has pros and cons, individualist culture tend to create more self centered and narcissistic behaviors and make people less likely to have strong social bonds with others. But social mobility is highly fluid and we are taught to be more independent and foster more ambitious goals. As for collective cultures there is stronger familial ties and less narcissistic behaviors and overall more attention to what’s best for the collective group. Families live together up to four generations in a single house hold. As for the cons there are stronger pressures for arranged marriages and the suppression of emotion and feelings for the benefit of the family. And social mobility isn’t as volatile.
If possible I think we can all agree that it’s ideal if we can choose to take the best of each side and leave the not so good parts of out.
Gerardo Garcia i love all these thoughts between both of you guys. This whole conversation really has me thinking about my parents and grandparents and their particular situations. My grandmother(dads mom) used to have an aid and my mother used to go visit atleast once or twice a month just to make sure she was doing well. Eventually, she was put in a home because the problems were too bad but we would still come visit her. I guess my whole point behind this is, is this considered “taking care of your parents”? Obviously, completely ditching them and never calling them is not taking care of them. On the flip side, having them live in your house, funding them financially and feeding them, etc is taking care of them. But is there a middle point? I mean my grandparents on my moms side can completely do everything on their own (except for the occasional tech problem) so I never really think about things like this. I always just thinking about creating something for myself so they can have one less thing to worry about
InspirationNation well if you know they are being taken care of but I would still feel guilty . I would try to visit a couple times a week and call every day
cesar reyes wow you are so intelligent and I agree with what you said . I’m actually assumed because I’m so bad at speaking and writing so I was in awe🤷🏽♀️ also for me I woken genuinely feel guilty leaving my parents in a different home and not being able to see them frequently would make me upset but if they were in good hands ...I would be relived but still guilty . I would call everyday and visit as much as I can. I love them so much so I just can’t leave them behind
Having children is how you live after your death. It's your legacy.
Hilarious. You’re dead, you’re dead.
That’s what I’ve thought too ..
@@pomp4401you’re no fun
Being alone and being lonely are two very different things. If you made the choice to live a childfree lifestyle you already know what it's like to not have kids around. That doesn't mean you will automatically be lonely. We spend our whole lives building up community around us and that doesn't count for less if it doesn't include children.
Hello, I've been watching some of your videos recently, it's nice to see you here all the way in the comments, LOL! :)
@@TheGoldenPlatoon757 HI:)
@@WifeWithoutKids Hello! :)
Hi there. I love your videos.
I am 69 and going to be 70 very soon:) Never been married, not even close!!! All of my family and relatives were outcasted long time ago. I am totally alone, but not even get lonely. I enjoy my life even more. I travel in Thailand near and far. Now I am 100% DIY my new house on the beautiful tropical beach paradise. That keep me busy, healthy and strong:) " Live your life like it would never been tomorrow ":)
I'm 70, and have lived alone since I was 22. I don't get lonely. I do enjoy the freedom that living alone brings me. When I want to see friends, I do. But I regenerate by being alone in my own home. It's lovely.
Wait till you loose ur health,
Hope u never do thou!
@@homagourabi6411 that's the problem....Because when you're in pain or in need or have lost some of your functions, many things can go very wrong. Not that that's a reason for having children, certainly not. But you have to figure out a plan in advance, put money aside and find people you trust and give them the authority to supervise the care you receive - friends tend to disappear when things get ugly.
@@homagourabi6411 let me say from Iranian to Iranian😉 when Iranian women want to change? Always rely on children and never enjoy independent life. My mom is the same. She expect us too much and that is why I do not miss her. Also I never regret that I do not have a child. One last thing! When we loose our teeth, the only one we need is a pro dentist to do nice implant for us. Saving money for that is better that dentures gift from CHILDREN.
I hope I am at this level of mental and physical health when I'm older, be it I'm alone or with somebody
you're strong and it's beautiful
keep yourself interesting, not for the sake of people around you but for yourself. i like the company of myself thats why i prefer being alone lol
Boredom only effects boring people.
I tell the best jokes anyway.
agreed!!! and it’s not sad. it just means you can appreciate yourself. human nature is selfish yet we pretend it’s not. anyways obviously in a good parent-child relationship we aide our parents until they die and especially in my culture, and I like that. but I don’t particularly care to have kids bc, right now at least, I can’t imagine feeling an excruciatingly painful loneliness. I acknowledge that we all die alone in one way or another.
@@onemillionpercent I can't bear to imagine my( if I have )kids and putting them in positions where they would hassle here and there just to take care of me when I'm old. And, having children just for the sake of taking care of us in our golden years just doesn't make sense and selfish. Not gonna do it.
Not normal to want to be a line most of the time..
I'm 62 and never had any kids of my own and that's OK with me 👍
Almost all my life I’ve said I wanted kids, it’s cause I was just listening to what people expect from me and thinking I need to do it. Now that I’ve gotten to the perfect age to make my decision, I’m glad I did. I’ll never have kids, I have a partner I love very much and we both have agreed on not wanting kids. We aren’t going to feel lonely about not having any, we’ll feel happy. Don’t feel forced to do anything you don’t want to do, it’s your decision.
My mother used to say that a mother can take care of many children, but many children can't take care of one mother. I took great care of mine!
Good! Its a shame how some people treat their parents. There is no such thing as a perfect parent but they all did the best they knew or could.
Stan Miller but for me its your choice having a kid and thats your responsibility .. that’s my opinion.
I Tried..
@@jencee A child should be always be loyal to their parents. It's a family for a reason. Abuse is the only exception.
Jencee Lee I agree. My parents did the minimum requirements of being decent parents - meaning they worked to pay for basic needs but they were not emotionally or physically present. They gave that energy to others & came home to dump all of their frustrations on the kids. It’s gotten worse as we aged. They blame their stress & unhappiness on us. My siblings & I want to create a better life for ourselves & realized that requires distance from them. Over the course of 30 years, they have not grown as parents or people. I will not have that energy around my children. I have done the work to move beyond my upbringing. I just want to progress. My sister & I agreed we will help financially care for them but neither of us are interested in moving them into our households. It’s unfortunate but I am obligated to do what’s best for myself, not elders who had 60 years to repair their mistakes.
My uncle is 84 years old and never want to married and have children. But he is a great person
Probs gay
I had an uncle that decided the same, especially when he saw the women his brothers married! Seriously, though, he had a wonderful, full life. He was my go-to uncle when I needed a dose of advice. He was an admired, active member of church. He was the glue that held the family reunions together well into his 80’s, and we all loved him for that and made sure to attend out of respect for him. When his health took a bad turn, my husband, my two sisters and I dropped everything and drove 800 miles to get to his bedside. The day we arrived he was so happy to see us. We had a great visit and were able to tell him how much he meant to us and how much we loved him. The next day, he knew we were there, but not much more than that. The third day, he was gone. It was his final day of his 91 year. His birthday was the very next day. He embraced life, he was involved up to the end. He didn’t sit around feeling sorry for himself. So grateful to have him as an example of how to live like God instructed.
It's different when men do not have kids.
That's what he tells you. In actuality, he never met the right one or if he did, she wasn't available.
@@CindymeCindy Some people know what "married with children" looks like at its best, and they still decide they want to do something else with their life. That's not better or worse than starting your own family. @Sagittarius Jones
It's not different when men or women decide not to have kids or decide not to get married. They are not obligated to do so. There are enough people in the world already.
Believe me, much worse than not having children to take care of you in old age, is having them without the slightest desire, just because of the wishes of others or to appear that you are "normal" in society, and on top of that being abandoned by they. . So thank you, I preferred to continue without having children, because at the beginning they are the weakest part, but in the end that weakest part will be you! Or as the saying goes, "better alone than in bad company..."
This woman is lovely and articulate. Very wise.
I am Spanish, from my grandmother became a widow with 60 years, she lived with my family till 93...all of us were taking care of her till last moment... She was as a princess in my home... Best food for her, best chair for her...... For me is umbelivable so much old people living alone in UK..... So sad.... 😢
My grandfather lost his wife at 90 then he came to live with my family until his death at 94. All my family members took care of him. Some people were saying we are lunatics for taking him at our place and not sending him to nursing home. It was very hard at the end when he was dying but I miss him so much now... I will definately NOT send my parents to nursing home and I will do my best to take care of them when they get very old. But I do understand when people have no choice but to go to nursing home.
American and British families all dump the old folks leave them alone to do for themselves kinda mean I think if you had a kid he should help you people are selfish
💝 my grandma lived to 94 lived with family until the end, she was everything. 💝
Glad other people see the senior family members as the royalty they are. 😍
She was so lucky to have you Carmen ❤
@@zaaraha5092..... Thank you... I did everything for her... I was cutting her hair, her nails, helping her in the shower, cooking for her...putting nappies in the night.... All with love..... And on weekends I encouraged my parents for go out and have dinner in a nice restaurant. while I was taking care of her...... Even I wrote a book with all her stories in the life... About when she was small in 1905, the day when she meet my grandfather, the civil war in Spain.... The story of her life, that I keep in my house for read to all the new generations... It is my treasure.... ♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️
How is NOT having children selfish?!
@@braceleerohith one can argue that it's selfish to bring people into this world, life is about perspective... their truly is no such thing as right or wrong, only ideas and opinions
I guess my parents had me and still were selfish enough to leave me completely alone to grow up all by myself. Not that it's something you can see seldomly nowadays
@@braceleerohith clearly there's something wrong with me coz no such urge exists within me
I get the logic but it only works if you're an endangered species. It selfish because you don't want to give up your convenience for the sake of preserving humanity. Humanity is not endangered as of now but that evolutionary mentality is still there.
Selfish with who? Selfish with a person who doesn't exist?
Did she just say ‘mind your f*cking business’ in the most sophisticated way ever?
This woman is very intelligent.
I had absolutely horrid parents and that made me never wanted to have children of my own . Really if you don't want to have kids please don't have them because otherwise you will be alone anyway and you will bring into this world someone who does not want to be here.
Thedaily analyser But some of us don’t want to be responsible for molding another person other than ourselves and that’s completely okay and it’s not selfish. I don’t find his comment negative, it’s his life. And he’s right, why have kids if you don’t want to? It’s more responsible to recognize and validate that feeling than just going against it for the “what if” factor.
@Thedaily analyser You can mold a child, any child, by being a role-model for them.
I've been doing this for years via through my workplace where they have a Job Shadowing program for troubled youths. These are kids who've brought pipe bombs to school.
These type of troubled kids.
The whole store couldn't handle them and sent them to the back with me. I took my time to help them and guide them. I even got all the necessary items they need for school, food, even a Photoshop program for one of them and helped him with the software and how it works, what to do. Even showed him the writing devices you can use with these programs and even gave him some of my old equipment.
He said he wanted to album covers for rappers. And he was real good.
He graduated a whole year early and moved on. A year later he actually came to my workplace and told me. "Thank you".
What had happened was my grading and comments toward his art skills I sent to his career school got him into another school - college. He was studying arts.
Because of seeing where he was going and the fact I was also grading him, I was able to get his school to look more into his future. He wanted his future to be in Arts. That's where I set him to and made the school open their eyes to him. They were able to give him a free tuition because he was still 17.
It is possible to mold any child. People shouldn't be so selfish into looking at it only being their own flesh and blood and broaden out to *any* child who needs help and guidance.
@Thedaily analyser And also, the rotation I had was about 6 teens per year, for 9 years. What I discovered is that I was doing such a great job with these teens, they actually liked working with me to the point that when they went back to school, they were telling all the other students for when it came time to pick a store to work at, to work at mine with me and ask for me.
For 9 years I had troubled teens lining up to work with me. And I wasn't the fun adult either. I disciplined them. Whatever job they done horrible at is the job I had them working and made them do it again and again until they got good at it. Even on break I was helping them with their school work. All the way to teaching them manners in public.
They loved it that I always bought them something to eat whenever it was time to leave as they were outside on the bench waiting for the bus.
For 9 years I sculpted and molded young minds until I was transferred to another location. And even before then, all the students working under me that had graduated and moved on still came back in that store to see me.
@@christins.1481 Very touching story. You are healing the world and have saved many futures.
Thedaily analyser but it’s ones decision to not have kids now mind your business
why is this in my recommendation? how did youtube know that I don't want kid?
Same
Gator Johnso Do you know how many selfish people are having kids and destroying this planet?
@Gator Johnsoyeah judge me, say it again
Gator Johnso stfu
@Gator Johnso breeders are selfish for bringing kids into this horrible world for their own enjoyment
Ok, I'm 39 years old. I'm both single and childfree by choice. It's the best decision that I have ever made and I have zero regrets. I have had some people ask me "But who's gonna take care of you when you get old?". My view on that is what I am about to say. When you bear children, you give them life so that they can eventually live it freely and independently once they become adults. You don't make them take care of you when you are deteriorating and dying because that is a burden and it is absolutely selfish.
You assume you won't be afraid when you're old. A selfless old thing, wilting in the winter of existence, sure of your strength and certain of your choices.
I've been around a lot of old people, and believe me when I say this. Death is scary when it's close. And for most it isn't instant. It's drawn out, and you have plenty of time to know it's coming.
The people I've seen who lash out the most at their death bed are the childless. Often alone because their friends are already dead, or too old to visit.
You will die one day. No ifs ands or buts. How do you wish it to be? Surrounded by the life you created and raised, or alone. To be forgotten forever, as if it never mattered.
People know grandparents they never met through family stories. Who will remember you?
And before I hear the cries of "I don't care, I won't be here!" You will. Before the end, when it's too late.
Let's hope I'm wrong though eh?
Its not about them looking after you, im financially stable and do not need my kids but the love I feel for them is pricless...nothing on earth can compare.
love your comment.
My dad never cried, but he did when he saw us crying when the doctor told him he had a few months left to live. The value of a parent is seen when his/her children can't imagine a life without him/her.
@@TheAcadianGuy isn’t that narcissism?
@@thebaneofyourexistence.3377 no why?
@@TheAcadianGuy if you’ve never had children, you cannot ever achieve a value placement of being a parent. So you’re saying that the main reason for having children is that you can watch them be upset you’re going to die?
I am 25 now. When I am 35 and completely financially stable, I will sponsor a good university for a child from unfortunate place. I will not give him/her more than a base to build smth on it. I will non ask anything back. That will be my contribution.
Thanks for worrying about my financial stability. It's going pretty fine, 26 now, I improved a lot. The plan is the same. In case you wonder why I set up this goal - I was an unfortunate kid who got help from an unknown person. This person never wanted me to say thank you, but wanted me to use what's given the best way possible.
Beautiful. Been thinking of doing a he same. I'm 43, not married yet and no kids yet.
ok groomer
Just reading that comment has made me consider doing something similar when I’m older. Great thinking!!
Thank you
DOUBT ✖️