I went through this two years ago.. I never realised he was a predator till now. I had to quit my job and now suffer from anxiety attacks. However we were on two different careers but ours linked. Sadly other people thought that him flirting with me was cute. He ended up following me to my next work place. I had to move cities after that. Unfortunately i had no physical evidence... It was a constant battle for dominance I was the first to say no and fight his ways. I blame myself now...
Serana Lisbeth thank you for sharing your thoughts and story, Serena. None of this behavior is the victim’s fault, and I do hope you are in touch with resources that can help you to internalize that. You do not deserve the blame. It was never your fault.
I love that you said that at the end about the biggest champions for women are the worst. Bc I stayed at a women's shelter and a man worked there and I warned the girls who worked there that I don't like how a guy works where we sleep when it's an all women's shelter( because they asked if I was comfortable) and they defended him saying he's so nice and I felt SO INVALIDATED for being weary of a guy I said if he touches me I will hit him ( not like it would do anything I'm very skinny lol) but I felt they shamed me for saying that. They said don't hurt him he's so nice!! Like what the fuck. He ended up stalking me while I lived in the shelter and offered to drive me so he could call me a bitch in the car. Fuck people
I am so sorry you had that experience. You were right to have your guard up - when your gut tells you something is wrong, there is a reason for it. It's really disempowering when people don't honor your feelings or experiences. I hope you're in a better place now. Thank you for sharing.
this sounds like a video about a rich boss....the boss isn't the only possibility in the work place that can be scary. its good information if all you have to worry about is the boss. are there other videos that cover ALL coworkers?
Amanda Hager thanks for your thoughts! A lot of these tactics are irrespective of wealth - making time in their schedule, complimenting you, invading your personal space Etc. Coworkers definitely can and are offenders too - might do a future video on this, thanks for the feedback
I worked at a job where I was surrounded by a workplace predator for a whole year and it was so miserable hearing the shit he said believe me. I'm proud to say I quit that job and have a better one now cause my boss did nothing about him cause he was one of the team leads brothers.
I’m so sorry that you had to go through that, Sam. Really glad to hear you’re in a better situation now. Bravo for having the courage to walk away from that job!
Every thing you said happened in my first 3 weeks at work. I thought the guy was nice, until one day he started making excusable jokes. Then he asked if he could call me honey 👀. The next day was my day off and I talked to a few people about how to handle it. When I went back in, I decided never to let him out be in a situation where we worked alone together. He's such a "nice" guy, I actually thought maybe no one would believe me. He teaches women self defense classes. 🤢🤮
I was standing looking at the mail box section at the front desk area and this older man came behind me and rub his hand on my back up and down from mid back to before the waist and I was frozen and shocked and never told anyone because of the shame and guilt people put on the victim but he wasn’t the only one acting inappropriate in that office. My boss was rude and always talking down on my country roads, violence, driving when I wasn’t even insured to drive their van and they asked me to drive them back and forth when wasn’t even part of my job description. I was going through a very hard time personally so these things were just ignored and dealt with and I never said anything to the department that hired me. This happened 7 years ago and so far I know one of them still works there.
@@MaryDavid some of my friends were sexually harassed by their drug dealer in their sleep, he also molested his own cousin including minors in residential burglaries, most predators do not discriminate much minor/adult he's now a registered sex offender at Risk level high, his friends hispanic gang members and felons, and yes they do rape young men and minors.
Sometimes it can be tricky. Sometimes they do actually do some of the things they promised you with. Mine did promise future things for me, but I don't know why. Is it just something he did to keep me in his vicinity? Me being there physically, he'd have more access to me? He didn't end up giving me the things he initially promised me with, but he did help me and push me to get a job. So I guess as long as it serves them good in some way, they will give you something.
I think another key indicator is trying to seem disinterested sometimes and not handling rejection. I had someone who would fist bump me, but also wanted me to hit him sometimes, he would joke and say how I would like hitting people. Would try to rile me up. Called me buddy a lot. One day, he kept trying to keep fist bumping my hand multiple times. I said to him, I'm not going to hit you today, and he had pre-planned grabbed the stapler gun and put it to his head. Told him not to do that and took it away and patted his head. We would joke sometimes, but I had weird feelings constantly. He would boast about having a girlfriend but was also always mentioning how attractive women were. I feel like the idiot, because I did care for him and had a connection, but I always felt off and unsure. I also have since been blocked, because I removed him, but also had a mental toll with the place I was working and had to leave and called out other situations occuring. We trusted each other with some things, but think he wanted to fish for info to get to know me more. I don't think anything would have occurred but it felt like a game. Early on, I would feel his eyes on me. I always have sensed this from people easily though. I hope this doesn't seem like it's just me. When I would confide other things, said I always overthought.
Thank you, I know someone just like that. Fortunately one of his colleagues, who is trusted, and who worked with him in a different organisation' 'warned me about him'. I still know him but I have always met in a public area, and I even take my boyfriend to meet up. He always seems to be obsessed with me 'as he doesn't have things in common with other people'. He is now 70 and probably over the worst, but I have managed things. He probably wonders why I don't see him that much #england
I am so glad that you have someone with you in a circumstance where you don’t feel safe. I hope you also feel free to cut off this person if that is something that would be helpful. There are many circumstances where the potential gain simply is not worth the mental stress, anxiety, emotional unpacking/toll and fear that is required to be in that setting. It is so important to have and maintain professional boundaries. People who respect you will respect that you have them. It is good to think critically about whether you even need to have certain contacts in your life, especially if your gut or others have told you that it’s not safe.
There are no shortcuts. And if you do get one, the achievement will be tainted because everyone will always be whispering about how you slept your way to the top, and you will know it too. Your successes will not be viewed as legitimate.
The word “like” can mean many things. If they truly “like” you strictly as a human being and not romantically, they should be invested in your professional growth and respect you enough to honor their word, not make promises they do not intend to keep, and out of respect for your professional reputation, not put you in compromising positions. If they like you romantically, they should not use the power of their position as a way to gain your favor.
@@MaryDavid ok now i am no longer talking about being someones boss... just as a guy that has honest interest in a girl. how does he go about that without coming off as a predator and to successfully get the girl to like him if its in a workplace etc...if the answer is long please make a video...if guys can be enlightened it helps
Women can be sexual predators too. In several warning signs mentioned, I used the word “they” to encompass both men and women who engage in this behavior. While I do wish I had used “they” throughout to generalize to all situations, that does not invalidate the fact that women overwhelmingly face these kinds of predators in the workplace with added barriers to combat them.
A very good point! I initially was using “they” in my remarks to encompass both genders and will be sure to use it more consistently in the future because women definitely can be predators too! Thanks for the comment.
@@Angie_baewhat if your boss is around your age, has a nice chiseled physique and facial features, is funny, and drives a nice car? ITS ALL OF A SUDDEN NOT CREEPY IS IT? 😡
It’s very disturbing to know people go through this and also ruin things for genuinely good people.
It's so true that the "self proclaimed champions of women are the biggest offenders". SO true
Yep, the guy who began to harass me trashes women self defense... 👎👎
Just wanted to mention to anyone that sees this: while in the video she specifically says "he" never forget that groomers can be females too.
Sadly I know that today I've been picked as a victim of this... Blocking them!
I'm so sorry to hear that. Please know that this is not in any way your fault or a reflection on you. Wonderful that you're blocking them!
My partner has been experiencing this at work. Thank you for your advice and bravery.
I'm so sorry that this is something you and your partner know all too well. Thank you for your kind words!
I have fallen victim to this. Great video
Princess Blue I’m so sorry that happened to you. Thank you for your bravery in sharing and for your perspective 💜
I went through this two years ago.. I never realised he was a predator till now. I had to quit my job and now suffer from anxiety attacks. However we were on two different careers but ours linked. Sadly other people thought that him flirting with me was cute. He ended up following me to my next work place. I had to move cities after that. Unfortunately i had no physical evidence... It was a constant battle for dominance I was the first to say no and fight his ways. I blame myself now...
Serana Lisbeth thank you for sharing your thoughts and story, Serena. None of this behavior is the victim’s fault, and I do hope you are in touch with resources that can help you to internalize that. You do not deserve the blame. It was never your fault.
I have had CBT to help my anixety. But I still feel vulnerable at times. In time I hope one day I can report him.
Amazing video; deserves more views. Well done!
Thank you so much for your feedback and kind words. I really appreciate it!
This is SPOT ON!
Roberta H frighteningly common too - thanks so much for watching and sharing your thoughts
I love that you said that at the end about the biggest champions for women are the worst. Bc I stayed at a women's shelter and a man worked there and I warned the girls who worked there that I don't like how a guy works where we sleep when it's an all women's shelter( because they asked if I was comfortable) and they defended him saying he's so nice and I felt SO INVALIDATED for being weary of a guy I said if he touches me I will hit him ( not like it would do anything I'm very skinny lol) but I felt they shamed me for saying that. They said don't hurt him he's so nice!! Like what the fuck. He ended up stalking me while I lived in the shelter and offered to drive me so he could call me a bitch in the car. Fuck people
I am so sorry you had that experience. You were right to have your guard up - when your gut tells you something is wrong, there is a reason for it. It's really disempowering when people don't honor your feelings or experiences. I hope you're in a better place now. Thank you for sharing.
Im sorry. God loves you! Always trust your intuition.
A predator's perfect place would be in a women's shelter, lots of vulnerable women. Yes, glad you followed your gut
It doesn't matter how nice they are. Predators are not going to be mean because that would drive you away.
this sounds like a video about a rich boss....the boss isn't the only possibility in the work place that can be scary. its good information if all you have to worry about is the boss. are there other videos that cover ALL coworkers?
Amanda Hager thanks for your thoughts! A lot of these tactics are irrespective of wealth - making time in their schedule, complimenting you, invading your personal space Etc. Coworkers definitely can and are offenders too - might do a future video on this, thanks for the feedback
I worked at a job where I was surrounded by a workplace predator for a whole year and it was so miserable hearing the shit he said believe me. I'm proud to say I quit that job and have a better one now cause my boss did nothing about him cause he was one of the team leads brothers.
I’m so sorry that you had to go through that, Sam. Really glad to hear you’re in a better situation now. Bravo for having the courage to walk away from that job!
Every thing you said happened in my first 3 weeks at work. I thought the guy was nice, until one day he started making excusable jokes. Then he asked if he could call me honey 👀. The next day was my day off and I talked to a few people about how to handle it. When I went back in, I decided never to let him out be in a situation where we worked alone together. He's such a "nice" guy, I actually thought maybe no one would believe me. He teaches women self defense classes. 🤢🤮
I was standing looking at the mail box section at the front desk area and this older man came behind me and rub his hand on my back up and down from mid back to before the waist and I was frozen and shocked and never told anyone because of the shame and guilt people put on the victim but he wasn’t the only one acting inappropriate in that office. My boss was rude and always talking down on my country roads, violence, driving when I wasn’t even insured to drive their van and they asked me to drive them back and forth when wasn’t even part of my job description. I was going through a very hard time personally so these things were just ignored and dealt with and I never said anything to the department that hired me. This happened 7 years ago and so far I know one of them still works there.
Holy crap! This is so true!
Thanks for watching!!!
I believe I’m going in this path. Thanks for the help! I’m becoming emotional
whats crazy is that these predators are usually serial predators
So true, unfortunately.
@@MaryDavid some of my friends were sexually harassed by their drug dealer in their sleep, he also molested his own cousin including minors in residential burglaries, most predators do not discriminate much minor/adult he's now a registered sex offender at Risk level high, his friends hispanic gang members and felons, and yes they do rape young men and minors.
These are literally the signs that my college dean/teacher showed before sexually harass me.
Sometimes it can be tricky. Sometimes they do actually do some of the things they promised you with. Mine did promise future things for me, but I don't know why. Is it just something he did to keep me in his vicinity? Me being there physically, he'd have more access to me? He didn't end up giving me the things he initially promised me with, but he did help me and push me to get a job. So I guess as long as it serves them good in some way, they will give you something.
Thank you, I was freaking out! The person I was talking to isn’t a predator
You've just described 95% of the workforce, congrats on the useful advice.
I think another key indicator is trying to seem disinterested sometimes and not handling rejection.
I had someone who would fist bump me, but also wanted me to hit him sometimes, he would joke and say how I would like hitting people. Would try to rile me up. Called me buddy a lot.
One day, he kept trying to keep fist bumping my hand multiple times. I said to him, I'm not going to hit you today, and he had pre-planned grabbed the stapler gun and put it to his head. Told him not to do that and took it away and patted his head. We would joke sometimes, but I had weird feelings constantly.
He would boast about having a girlfriend but was also always mentioning how attractive women were. I feel like the idiot, because I did care for him and had a connection, but I always felt off and unsure.
I also have since been blocked, because I removed him, but also had a mental toll with the place I was working and had to leave and called out other situations occuring. We trusted each other with some things, but think he wanted to fish for info to get to know me more.
I don't think anything would have occurred but it felt like a game. Early on, I would feel his eyes on me. I always have sensed this from people easily though. I hope this doesn't seem like it's just me.
When I would confide other things, said I always overthought.
Good video, Thank you.
Thank you for watching!
Why can't people just start using their empty minds somewhere else other than involving in criminal activities
Thank you, I know someone just like that. Fortunately one of his colleagues, who is trusted, and who worked with him in a different organisation' 'warned me about him'. I still know him but I have always met in a public area, and I even take my boyfriend to meet up. He always seems to be obsessed with me 'as he doesn't have things in common with other people'. He is now 70 and probably over the worst, but I have managed things. He probably wonders why I don't see him that much #england
I am so glad that you have someone with you in a circumstance where you don’t feel safe. I hope you also feel free to cut off this person if that is something that would be helpful. There are many circumstances where the potential gain simply is not worth the mental stress, anxiety, emotional unpacking/toll and fear that is required to be in that setting. It is so important to have and maintain professional boundaries. People who respect you will respect that you have them. It is good to think critically about whether you even need to have certain contacts in your life, especially if your gut or others have told you that it’s not safe.
@@MaryDavid Very true. I don't work with him anymore so that is good.
It good to know stranger-danger and listen to your gut.
Sometimes you can't leave a situation
Thanks because I looking for a Summer job
Unless the guy is attractive, then it doesnt make him a sexual predator it makes him hubby material
Yea i can sadly understand a little too well what you mean i had someone attempt to groom me online thankfully i had my gut and you to warn me ❤
Thank you so much for sharing this, Cayxiee! You are truly brave and so wise to listen to your gut. ❤️🙌🏽
I have some classmates like this and it’s creepy.
I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this!
good talk
Bargzeeda Khan thank you so much!!
There are no shortcuts. And if you do get one, the achievement will be tainted because everyone will always be whispering about how you slept your way to the top, and you will know it too. Your successes will not be viewed as legitimate.
.....or she
Thank you
Thankyou
Don't just say he because it can also be she .
She can say whatever TF she wants. Youre just proving her point!
Incredible
Thank you for commenting!!
Wow this my sag cap clusper manager
i dont seem to understand... cant the person just truly like you and want to be a partner?
@Klara L i dont understand
The word “like” can mean many things. If they truly “like” you strictly as a human being and not romantically, they should be invested in your professional growth and respect you enough to honor their word, not make promises they do not intend to keep, and out of respect for your professional reputation, not put you in compromising positions. If they like you romantically, they should not use the power of their position as a way to gain your favor.
@@MaryDavid ok now i am no longer talking about being someones boss... just as a guy that has honest interest in a girl. how does he go about that without coming off as a predator and to successfully get the girl to like him if its in a workplace etc...if the answer is long please make a video...if guys can be enlightened it helps
@@MaryDavid thank u so much.....I AM NOT CRAZY
2:21 damn I guess it’s only men huh not a single woman is a creep
Women can be sexual predators too. In several warning signs mentioned, I used the word “they” to encompass both men and women who engage in this behavior. While I do wish I had used “they” throughout to generalize to all situations, that does not invalidate the fact that women overwhelmingly face these kinds of predators in the workplace with added barriers to combat them.
Why does it got to be a he wut it it's a her? 😒
A very good point! I initially was using “they” in my remarks to encompass both genders and will be sure to use it more consistently in the future because women definitely can be predators too! Thanks for the comment.
Because its USUALLY a he. Thats why. Get over it. 🙄🙄🙄
What's all this "he" business about? As if women can't be predators too.
This makes me now afraid to even try to just talk to and flirt with girls
Good😊
@@Emptytopfloorsociety is doomed because of women like you. Its a good thing i dont give a fuck and ill chat up whoever i want
It's calledgrooming
Sounds like a good guy👍thats why so many women are lonely,u think everythings creepy lolll
This is about a boss. Why would you want your boss to do this to you. Wtf
@@Angie_baewhat if your boss is around your age, has a nice chiseled physique and facial features, is funny, and drives a nice car? ITS ALL OF A SUDDEN NOT CREEPY IS IT? 😡