Why Dating Is Hard for Millennials
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- Опубликовано: 10 июл 2024
- The landscape of modern romance is peppered with dating apps. It’s how most new couples meet. In the latest episode of The Idea File, staff writer Ashley Fetters explains the social implications of online dating. “More people than ever are dating in a limitless marketplace,” she says in the video. “Today’s dating pool, I think, has a different skill set.”
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Some Millennials are also ditching drinking. Watch the Idea File episode on the sober-curious trend: ruclips.net/video/MAvfnoLlfWg/видео.html&
Sober too!? We're destined to all die alone...
I don't drink much, I smoke good weed from time to time though
I'm so tired of having to look away at a girl after looking too long or walk in a different direction after walking behind her for too long, because " I'm probably a rapist or a perv ".
Have you ever heard of MGTOW
@@siddharthjain650 MGTOW is goated
The internet made social interaction weird. I can't even say hi to somebody without them being like wtf.
Facts bro. I ask someone for directions on the train and she literally look at me and kept walking
So true but I seen boomers say to me “hey how’s it going” as I’m walking I just say hey. I don’t be saying hi to randoms I find it weird
It’s that bad?
Time to change your mindset. Don't want to sound patronising.
I have said hi to alot of ppl lately and I can't remember anyone saying hi back to me or even just genuinely smile
Dating is hard because people LIE/PRETEND way too much these days. It’s so hard to trust people period. Everyone is afraid of heartbreak, forget about working too much, being broke or just wanting pleasure. Those are the lies/excuses we tell ourselves. It all comes down to one thing, FEAR! We are afraid of investing our time and ourselves into someone and it all goes to shit.
That’s a pretty reasonable fear to have when divorce rates are 50% so it’s created a generation of relationship skeptics
Oseghale Okoyomon exactly on the ball mate
So many people wear so many faces
T K Sad but true!
Facts!
I think our generation has a lot of anxiety.
One of my professors said, "You don't have anxiety, you're just not prepared."
He was referring to tests but it can apply to dating too. There's not alot of stranger interactions these days, so of course our entire generation isn't prepared for dating.
how does anxiety (or lets use trauma and depression) equal not wanting to have a family (wife, children, etc.)? I would think more the reason to have supporting people next to someone.
@Inebriatd or maybe I should have also said, why does it justify them not being able to have them and/or have the support. people have their wounds and situations. but that should not be a reason to isolate them.
@@c.richmond9944 It doesn't change your desires. But mental illness does affect your behavior and ability to preform normal tasks and stops you from achieving what you would like to do. Hence why it's an illness. Depression and anxiety can very much keep a person from going out and meeting new people.
@@renjiai yeah I heard about that. But I would think, why not just stay in with your significant other, or go to a quiet place? Could still be worked out. When there is a will, there is a way. and I would think two desires are better than one. but yeah, definitly limitations.
I mean you almost wanna stay single when you see everyone in your family get divorced and have grown up with your parents yelling and crying at eachother. My friends get in relationships but seem miserable and does nothing but complain about their significant other. I'm just witnessing all this from the sideline and just bored by the idea of a relationship
EDIT: I'm not saying relationships aren't worth it, but I think most people feel pressured to get into one and aren't on the same wavelength so it turn bad. There are pros and cons to be in a relationship and being single
Hermanno Witnessing my family members getting divorced, baby daddy/mommy issues, and unhappy marriages is solely the reason I’m so scared of marriage and long term commitment but my boyfriend and I have been together for 3 yrs and the fact that he was my friend for 4 yrs before hand is a big factor on why I chose to be with him. Other than that I would remain single for a looooonnnggg time
Hermanno I feel the same. I lost interest in dating.
Yup. Pretty much it. Out of all the people around me who got married and/or had kids, the vast majority either split-up, or are living a life full of stress. Personally, I am happy with no partner, or kids. Not like there's a shortage of kids in the world anyway.
YESSSS! Speak the truth!
Stephanie Murray same girl!
I am glad they brought up the issue of how many millennials were brought up by helicopter parents and how the whole "stranger danger" paranoia DOES carry through into adulthood and can contribute to social anxiety.
Mix that in with the #MeToo movement and men are terrified of approaching women
@@acraze2287 Plus the stories of men killing women for denying them sex. We're all just going to be engulfed in fear and forced to stay in our comfort zones. Only the courageous will choose to go out.
Lol
I don't blame my parents for anything because in all honesty they were great, but I wish they knew that I was actually listening and they were creating a paranoid child.
Another example I always share with people is when I was in middle/highschool/college my parents would talk about other people my age having kids and say "good birth control, right?" And now that I'm 30 they wonder why I won't give them grandkids...
@@Sam89365 right... My mom told me to go ahead and buy a bachelor pas
The worst is when you're a millennial who can't stand Tinder lol forever alone.
When you're a millennial... and ugly! And on tinder. Real loneliness!
@@alishag1662 yeah exactly. It's become so awkward to talk to strangers, when that was exactly the way older gens used to meet. So it kinda feels like we're forced to get on these apps. But I've tried them and confirmed that they aren't for me.
@@alishag1662 I tried approaching a stranger the other day to test this theory. It was akward, but interesting. I'm making a video on it this week.
Talk to strangers! And we should stop calling them strangers! I've approached 541 women in the last 2 years. Got some awesome dates and I'm learning and broadening my horizons!
@@alishag1662 thanks Alisha. And yes you're totally right. I think this is due to the anonymity we have online. It makes everything less scary, but it hinders us in the real world. Sad.
Its hard to date because we dont treat people well, with online dating its so easy to ghost someone and replace them immediately...Its sad.
@Miad Developer From my experience men do this often too. Its not really about gender , it depends on the personality..
Miad Developer Are you talking about your personal experience?
Cause I could say the same thing
@@katerinasofie6879 ... You are both right, in a way.
Woman absolutely have more options than men. Hugely more options. So.for women, it's exactly like you said, it's insanely easy to find a replacement guy at the snap of their finger. And it's very tempting to just ghost rather than explain what is going on in their heads.
This is horribly destructive to the men they ghost, and is a major reason men eventually go mgtow, or become players, and overall why they loose empathy for women as a whole. These burned guys go on to burn women by being callused, and it starts by repeated bad behavior from cowardly women ghosting them.
Now, some men do the exact same thing... But the only men who are similarly swamped in attention, are a tiny percentage of guys that a huge majority of women find attractive. Those guys have incoming messages from many women, and can afford to demand sex, etc... And dump anyone that doesn't comply instantly.
But women all want those top 20% of men... And thus they compete like.made for their attention.
The core fact is that men rate women on a standard bell curve. Where 50% of women are below average and 50% are above average.
Meanwhile, women rate 80% of men as below average.
This is factually inaccurate, obviously.
But it is the way female attraction works.
So yes, a few men do it.... But virtually all woman do it.
@LOTTA PERROTTA ... Correction...
A small percentage of men are is such high demand that they use and ghost women.
The vast majority of women also engage in this this ghosting behavior.
agree back in the day if you wanted to break up with someone you did it to their face their was respect and you had a good reason. This "ghosting" is childs play you are not going to pay off a house build a business or accomplish anything with that in mature attitude. I ghosted society it can burn for all I care.
Even making friends is hard.
Tebogo Ramonyai Tremendously so
Completely agree
Beyond hard, everyone I know is closed to outsiders.
@@calgary2800 That's because of the other issues... we're overworked, bad economy, hard to date, hard to get a home, hard to find free time for leisure... all these problems just lead people to be jaded, closed off to making new friends, new connections... so sad what's happened to this country
@J R I am 51 yo and from my exp out there only tall men can date now. Every lady first words are must be tall. It's like being short is a handicap in life. I am 5 feet 5 and don't have kids. I feel that it would not be fair to pass my genes on if life is like this.
What was considered flirting or a “random” conversation with someone, is considered “weird” nowadays. Like if you see a cute girl/guy and talked to them or flirted , chances are they’d probably be like “Yeah he/she was creepy and so random”. Back in the day it was normal and that’s why today, were fucking doomed
Hate that you have my name, like your comment; it's true.
Dammit i'm afraid to strike a convo with strangers my age nowadays
@@ivann9924 same never know what's gonna happen.
I concur
It's only creepy/weird if they don't find you attractive lol
Can we talk about how no one knows their neighbors anymore? Talk about stranger danger, people are too afraid to answer their door or walk across the street to introduce themselves
because anyone that does that got kidnapped and chained in their neighbors' dungeon and DIE
I think this is just a US and Canada thing.
How tf is that a bad thing, you boomer?! 🤣 I don’t WANT to know my neighbors! Or should I say I don’t want them to know ME! 😂 like stay out of my business and leave me alone 😌 and no I don’t have a cup of sugar! Lol
@@olivebranch6391 my coworker's apartment got broken into when she left town this week. If she had known the neighbors she could have asked someone to keep an eye on things. Today was the first time she met any one in her building and she's lived there for 3 years. You're right, I would hate having you as a neighbor too.
BarleeCarlee wah cry harder, boomer ❄️ and tell your coworker to be smarter! I have a great security system AND if I’m leaving for a week or so I have friends (something you surely can’t relate to) who I can ask to come and housesit. Again, stop making it seem like everything trad, primitive, and archaic is superior!! It’s NOT. Knowing your neighbors is something only bland, nosy, primitive, people care about! I have no interest in knowing my neighbors and certainly don’t want them to know me. I CHERISH my privacy and don’t need rando’s in my life just because of proximity.
Because everyone is lusting and not actually looking for love they confuse lust w love and end up getting hurt
Because people can’t take shit from their partners anymore. If it’s toxic you leave. Always busy with work? You leave.. which are valid reasons.
Before people would put up with all the negatives in the name of love.
Chirpy XC: there can never be love without lust. Actually, lust is the seedling of love.
@@wanelly not true, example of I love my mom that doesnt mean I once lusted after her love and lust and diffrent things, dont confuse them
Chirpy XC: stick to the subject matter. Are you planning to date your mother? We are talking of opposite sexes, dating people, to be lovers... you get the vibe?
@@wanelly no but the point I'm trying to get to is love and lust are two diffrent things you can love someone w/o lusting after them. And vice versa
I was born in the early 90s. It's absolutely depressing the way people interact now. I think the old school approach of just striking up conversation can still be done though, and you can stand out from the crowd. It's how I met my girlfriend.
Dude. You are so lucky. I was born in the early 2000s and I wish I was born when you were. I feel like I'm fucked out here. Forever alone lol
The kind of people you want as your partner arent on dating apps
I would agree to an extent, I have seen some people marry and they met on Tinder so it depends.
Not really
Som Keshav and then they get divorced
Or, NOT on social media at all.
@@christaggart5687 well that part I don't know too much of lol. Think about it: divorce rates on Tinder. Kinda funny tbh.
"when more and more people are finding dates from the comfort of their couch"
*looks at tinder*
Tinder : "you have no matches"
good one. very true. strange, though. its like a lot of chicks on there just trying to show their stuff. not to mention a lot of sick characters.
Cuz you live in India
That's male privilege
@@TheRudraCool I live In Southern Europe.
Welcome to MY world!
It’s because we’re all poor, working ridiculous hours to make sure we can at afford rent, and have a very short amount of time, and little exposable income to really spend on going out, socialising, and paying for date-related activity’s (for those we met in person, or online).
I agree that there's a huge incompatibility between our lifestyles and our wants for our relationships. Despite stereotypes of Millennials being lazy, we work a ridiculous amount of hours, most of us are buried in student loans, and we do tend to place social relationships on the back burner relative to our careers. This has, in and of itself, contributed toward the tendency of social isolation.
Aaaaaaw - poor baby.
What do you think it was like back in the 1930s, during the Great Depression? Yet people still dated, got married and had families.
That's why I'm voting for Andrew Yang for president. A thousand a month doesn't sound like a bad deal.
@@TheCinderellaPrincess it's a terrible idea. that'll lead to hyper inflation
Wise2daGame Alaska is already doing that tho
I'm prepared to be single anyway so.. Doesn't matter.
I’m 28 and I don’t have any form of social media, just RUclips. But , At times when I’m out in public I make eye contact with a guy and we flirt with our eyes. I smile and then he smiles in return and so I’m thinking it’s going somewhere but it doesn’t. And I find this very odd. I feel like they just get their kicks from flirting and then they carry on. Call me old fashion , I appreciate men striking any conversation to flirt.
Jacqueline BC. Me tooooo
@@jacksters19 Stranger danger.
@@jacksters19 You should ask the guy out then. I always hear women say things like "just because I'm nice doesn't mean I like you". Eye contact is extremely vague vs telling someone you like them. It's very confusing for all.
Jacqueline BC. Your that type of girl I be seeing when I go
Out, sometimes I make a move most of the time I don't
Grade 12: Gotta focus on uni applications
Community College for 2 years: Gotta keep that GPA high to transfer to a uni therefore shouldn't have a relationship during college
Uni: 3rd and 4th year courses will be a pain therefore should be the focus...
I'll always find an excuse...
It turns around when you get to ~35 or so.
once I'm retired I'll try this thing called dating
So sad. I still never ever dated despite being 26..
Sal Toyama: learn to date and fall in love wth yourself. After all, you are the only partner that you will have till death!
definitely not uncommon in this day in age
Same at age 24
@@wanelly I'm dating and loving myself everyday 😂 I'm probably gonna die alone too 😉
@@Karll541 ... For men? No, not uncommon.
For women?
Nearly unheard of.
We may be the first generation that suffers from knowing too much, thanks to social media.
Hahahahaha. That was one of the best laughs I've had in a _long_ while. Thanks. Seriously though, you millennials are the most _media manipulated bunch of simpletons_ since the "Greatest Generation". You literally parrot _whatever_ the Fourth Estate tells you to think, say, believe, etc. with nary a second spared to actually verify whether any of their obvious propaganda is true or not. And it's mostly not.
@@dupesleftrubesright7967 Are you talking about the walking dead mate? Every day I go out, I'm seeing dead people.
That's why there is a saying "Ignorance is a bliss".
Why dating is dreadful these days:
- social media clashing between both men & women. All y’all do is argue on apps behind a screen. Little do y’all know y’all are making society more toxic.
- Some people have too many expectations. Stop having expectations for others that you don’t have for yourself.
- Being to superficial and materialistic. Not everything & everyone is about what they have or how they look.
- Not controlling your emotions the right way. Some of y’all get into relationships too fast before recognizing your own individual trauma. The right one will eventually come along if you don’t force it. Be at peace for a while.
- Always blaming the other person. Sometimes you’re at fault as well. Own up to your wrongdoings.
- A lot of people way to worried about society’s standards. Worry about your own standard and what truly makes you happy with someone else.
Its nice to read a comment coming from someone with a brain for once. Lol
Romanticism is also one of the worst enemies of relationships and a big source of unnecessary disappointment. There are very interesting books that deal with the subject. However, it's true that meeting people in real life is very strange these days
Dave Balmada Heard of Don Quixote? A spanish writer waaay back from the 16th century predicted the rise and dangers of romanticism through “chivalry” that it recommended burning the MC’s books to cure him of his “otakuness”
What's wrong with romance? That's the point of dating. Partnership only to raise a family?
the problem is, its sugarcoated by contemporary media
@@colorfulcodes agreed.
The problem is, romantic love is an illusion. It's real love corrupted by ego desires, which funny enough makes it the actual opposite of love: attachment, needing the other/not feeling complete without the other, exclusivity, wanting to own the other, etc. It's false to begin with, so it has to collapse at some point and the best possible outcome is a state of mutual tolerance of both partners. It's a comfort zone in which the individual stops growing towards true love which is without all these "romantic" ego elements and always moves away from comfort zones. True love destroys attachment.
Yea sorry, but we are all screwed because this "hookup culture"
Sabrina Tatalias this should have been included in the video
Sabrina Tatalias the hookup culture was created by feminism
Jeremiah Atwood lol you’re a guy, saying all this.
Jeremiah Atwood male patriarchy actually was the opposite of hookup culture in the historic past. Patriarchy was to contain female hypergamy and not let it go run amok. So women were less privileged because the system was aware of the dangers of giving women so much freedom. Feminism which started as something that had some merit, become an imperative to undo male sex role completely and fuck up animal kingdom. Hence hook up culture and high divorce rates. It’s hypergamy unmitigated. So women are never satisfied, and thus never happy. Men have learned to remove their feelings and just enjoy their own sanity, by just fucking women as objects and nothing more. In the past women were more happy because they didn’t fuck everyone, today that’s no longer.
Jeremiah Atwood hookup culture is a benefit temporarily for sex pleasure but not a benefit in the grand scheme of things. It’ll mean less people being born, less marriages, less bonding, and hence less civilization. I’d say it’s good to counter overpopulation lol, but it’s not “good”
From what I see, if you didn't lock in on a long term relationship in high school, you're screwed.
@N.D West I agree!
Not at all. Those relationships actually have the highest divorce rate in the country.
@@colorfulcodes Beg to differ in my area.
not necessarily high school but uni/studies also. Then it's really tricky especialy after 30
it definitlely seems that way. I remember my highschool sweat heart. I was very blessed to have had her in my life and she was a really nice girl. tears come to my eyes thinking of her and how she was such a good friend to me. it was a good feeling to have such a friend.
Dating is too complex in this day and age. I gave up about two years ago and have never regretted it.
Shit two years ago was my first and last date. I can't even find a girl to date anymore.
I have had a few women want to go on dates with me. Honestly, I just had no interest but it had nothing to do with them; I just feel there is no point to dating anymore when most of my relationships last less than three months.
@@JV-tk9yn shit I can't even remember the last time, if ever that I've had a real date. Shit sucks. No wonder so many men have given up.
@@wolfman_jagermeistro8445 agreed.all my date has done was make stupid tik toks and acted like i wasnt there..i wish i can go back to 1984!!
I'm convinced that we're having the worst sex out of past generations.
We don't have to settle with someone we went to church with or something like that but we also have a worse sense of community.
The economy is rough
We have a ridiculously large number of microdemographs that can't get along.
We grew up in a weird era before the internet and are the guinea pigs in the post internet experiment
Facts!
Alex Franco I disagree- sex has gotten better not worse, emotional intelligence has increased and in doing so, expression and communication has improved increasing intimacy
More casual sex can be knowing what works for you before making a full commitment
Sound like you are dating the wrong people Alrx
J James sex before marriage is lust and not full commitment long term for your partner.. sex before marriage is fornication
I was born in 1989. Saw the evolution of phones and the internet. I blame the baby boomers and Gen X who worshiped sex, drugs, toxic feminism, abortion, destruction of family, divorce etc. The reason for poor relationship is because of our elders who didnt show us the proper way
suit yourself.. im having sex 3 times a week with different women. Our problem is that most millenials dont have their own place.
Dating is massively difficult because it’s a flawed, unequal system. Young men in particular are checking out of dating in massive numbers.
Yup.
Indeed and the confinement won't change anything to this reality.
Hell lots of us mever even dated and have given up on it...
Real Light districts around the world are hopping more than ever.
80 -20 rule in the best of places ,5-95 rule for the worst.
They lied to us. They told us we had time. They told us to prioritize success over all. It’s empty.
Who are "they"??
@@jesusisnotgod4265 Society, boomers…
True dat, Ive had relative career success given the job opportunities since I graduated college in 2009. It came at a huge cost in my personal life. No one in my life gives a shit about my accomplishments other than my mom.
✡️ played a huge factor too with all of this lol no one will say this but I will 😂
Gen z : hold my tik toks
More like hold my glock.
The world has gotten so wierd
Because you match with people on online platforms and they don't reply. Too busy swiping on the other 200 to notice the one right bloody there! It's infuriating and then, you finally meet and never see them again or you meet, maybe sleep together and they ghost you or you date for 3 months and then they find someone else on tinder. It's tough. Too many choices makes people very fussy and easily distracted like a fly to light. It's definitely hard to meet people who want the same things as you. I've recently realised that I met my soul mate years ago: me!
Women have too many options. Unfettered hypergamy
@@TreSwayy Everyone has too many options lol. Can't even pick a breakfast cereal because there's like 100 to pick from. I'm gay and from my experience, I've had a hard time finding people who want a meaningful relationship but I've also heard a lot of gay men have the same issues. I think it's hard for everyone. Just have to live your life regardless though because waiting around for someone is a huge mistake, it's like watching life pass you by. Time is precious, so is life. Appy holidays.
Temps nah, men don’t have as many options as women. Most men don’t have a hypergamous issue, women do. Women get a taste of hypergamy and it never ends, men can fuck a thousand chicks and still fall in love with a single chick afterwards in ideals. Women can’t do that because they don’t love idealistic, only as representation to themselves and their own benefit. Women have fucked up dating, not men.
New Whips oop. We got a misogynist over here!
The purple penguin he has a point though make a account of average guy and another of good looking dude the difference in the way they are treated and they’re experience on dating apps are completely different it’s not even comparable.
women have the power in romance these days and average guys get punished because of it
Our generation sucks in so many ways. Its the gift and the curse there are a lot of good things technology that is good etc, but most don't use it for good. Relationships aren't really relationships anymore, its not what it used to be.
Technology isn't as good as it may seem to be. It makes people LAZY more than it does any good.
@@FutureCityAmbient Its good but people aren't using it in the right way. It has advanced people are just using it wrong
I'm personally not a fan of online dating, emotions and tone of voice are important for me to see/hear, most of the time messaging feels like talking to an AI and I lose interest fast.
That said, you can't deny "more digitized meetups = less serial killers" 😅
top 5% of the chads fucked over 80% of the girls. And the rest 95% of average INCELs got to compete among the rest 20% good girls and savage those satcy
It’s hard out here for single guys this day and age. No matter how many girls I approach for the past few years I hardly get anywhere with them. Trying to date as a man sucks!
@ try to date as a "not so hot man"
Owen Bunny omg an actual incel in the wild I thought y’all were a myth
Same, I like seeing someone's aura in person. Some people just take horrid pictures but are attractive in real life. Even videos of someone are better than pics.
As a blind woman, online dating helped me a lot, as I can't catch someone's eye across the room and won't notice if someone is looking over at me! 😍 xxx
How did you write this comment when ur blind though
@@darkforcekiller 97% of blind people, (myself included) still have some useful vision, so I did it by having the text enlarged. For those who have no remaining sight, there is voice-over which makes technology accessible to people who can't see. 😊
@@fernlulham8837 how did you read his message?
Πίκλας Ντικ 😂😂😂
Believe me, most women without impaired vision will act as if they didn't notice when looked at by a man.
Cuz people did such a great job of marriage before the internet. In America, the divorce rates went up to 50% BEFORE the internet.
Boomers mainly. Generations before and after didn't divorce nearly as much.
@@spastikman _Feminist_ boomers, specifically.
Yeah because of feminism... Duh
@@spastikman because it was harder to get a divorce
Actually, it was up to 90%. Then, went DOWN to 50%
Bruh I work 6-6 Monday - Friday & 6-12 on Sat. Then I go to uni at night. I don’t have the time or energy for this stressful shit lol Unless I can find an extremely low maintenance gf who’s ok not seeing each other weeks at a time then I’m not finding anybody for at least 3 more years
I love you long time
Andrew Demidov Dam thanks
@@ggdatboi your welcome.
@Dion Diova Coming from a person who hasn't even gone outside probably lmao
I quit dating. I've been single for almost 5yrs. I'm over it and just accepted the single life. It isn't dating I don't know what to call it... I wish I knew what connecting with someone actually felt like. I just want to fall in love once in my life.
have a baby
I want to date but I feel like because of how my parents treated the subject with strict rules, I don’t have the skill set needed to even make a conversation. Not to mention it doesn’t help that lots of people today are hypersensitive to anything.
I mean.... Do you go out of your way to offend people? That's kind of weird. Just have a decent conversation.
@@ziolp It's easy to offend people today mate
Basically everyone yeah.
@@ziolp you don't have to go out of your way to offend someone. People have just become much more unforgiving and very assuming of your motives when you commit a social blunder. People who were just a little awkward used to be given chances, but now if you offend someone they assume it was out of malice and not ignorance, and that paints you as someone who doesn't deserve a chance, unlike someone who is just a little socially inexperienced and awkward. That's still seen as forgivable but not seen as a possibility when someone messes up, it's straight to calling them a sociopath.
its not your parents responsibility at this point, youre an adult now. Teach yourself these skills. You cant rely on mommy and daddy for everything in your life.
My father says that "in earlier times relationships were necessity but in modern time relationships are choice " this changes the whole perception of relationship, earlier times relationships were for the purpose of survival but now relationship are for easing boredom
really valuable observation
@@ubelyildmar2368 thanks mate 🤗
I don't have social media for the sheer fact that Id hate to erode my senses that tune into the beauty and magic gifted in the subtleties that spark in eye-to-eye conversation. And theres so much said in not saying! Oh those tiny moments that test your character, spirit, and mind!
Ok
Somebody needs to dial back the rom-coms a bit.
That sounds so gay. Just say its fun and that would've sufficed
Education and achievement first. That's like a broken record in my head.
As a guy personnaly i just gave up, it seems so freaking hard, like getting the girls attention is so hard, keeping my composure, not being odd or off and to be honest if i was a regular girl i dont know if i would date me.
@ basically what i am doing, sometimes i find nice girls, but i dont really chase, i am just like oh she cool, lets try, but if it doesnt work, no biggie, aint gonna text her or try to make it....she aint invested
What is your ethnicity sir ?
So... the title should actually be "Millennials are dating online more" rather than saying they don't know how to date in real life.
There is also a stunning lack of statistics or evidence in the video to make any claims that they struggle to date "in real life", and is mere speculation than informative.
But hey, makes for good clickbait.
I really wish this whole accusing everything you don't like as Clickbait would stop. It doesn't make you sound like a critical thinker to just parrot buzzwords like this.
You took the idea that the video presented to you about Millennials online dating more and ran with it.
The fact is Millennials and Zoomers express more apprehensions about dating relationships in general and they have have far less sex than any previous generation in recorded history.
Just google Millennials having less sex and you'll see dozens of studies conducted on this.
@@spastikman Nah, I'm literally just pointing out the obvious.
The title claims millennials don't know how to date in real life, but only shows data on the increase in online dating. All that proves is young people are using online dating more. The title isn't accurate of the video.
Also, I never claimed millenials aren't dating less, or are having less sex. Never disagreed with what they were saying, but how can I believe them when they show zero proof of this.
And sure, I can go Google and look up the statistics. In fact, the video creaters could have too, and then added what they found into the video...
... but they didn't.
Online dating has never been shown as a good alternative. In fact, the video implies it's just a tool too prevent face to face meeting. So yeah not real life.
My parents: "Don't talk to strangers!"
Me: grew up and now doesn't know how to talk and flirt with strangers
My parents: *surprised pikachu face*
😂😂😂
Fucking accurate. But the worry isn't being kidnapped, it's bring lied to and used as an atm or abused.
that has nothing to do with it, when they say dont talk to strangers they are saying dont talk to people four times your age offering you candy, how is it so hard to understand this? Its a kindergarten concept
@@johnfisher8401 well when you're an adult you worry about thugs rather than pedos. Or just the fear of being lied to by a stranger you let into your life
Well, yeah, I will never talk to strangers, since they told me so.
Tinder is the problem. It's made millennials way too concerned about superficial things rather than substance.
Its not so much on the men's side, rather the women side. Basically pursuing lust and getting butthurt because their dumbasses couldn't make a good decision and expects the entirety of society to makeup for them.
Modern day white women have incredibly contrast to every other culture. Not even trying to be racist here
And they base substance on mostly Just texting. Not actual in person interactions or else
More like Instagram
I am glad I am from a generation that doesn't know what tinder is.
everyone expects perfection. everyone is so spoiled and entitled and thinks they deserve the perfect partner and the perfect life. They find the smallest things to criticisize and break up over. Its like an episode of seinfeld. Jerry breaks up with one girl because he doesnt like the way she eats her peas one at a time. Thats what millenials are.
Correction... Not everyone... Just women.
Dating apps opened the way for hypergamy to be expressed without geographic limitation.
Matt Majcan Every single person. No one exempt. No generalizations.
@@breakingthemasks nope, everyone, hypergamy is a myth. unless you think of hypergamy as a guy who can bathe and has career a job. yeah no girl want to date a fast food worker but they would date a teacher. both don't make much money
This millennial guy broke up with me because I was wearing polyester. He wanted to rip it when I was in public. I bought him a jacket for his birthday. He liked it but he wanted to return it to me when we broke up. I told him to throw it away in the trash can if he felt that away. I don’t know if he ever did.
I dont know what to expect. I swear to god if i could i'd buy one of those fuck robots i'd probably just hug her amd cry all day happy to have someone
This is consistent with my experiences save for one important thing.
I'm a 23 year old guy studying engineering at college. I've dated a few women, one long term, and I find those that stay together tend to meet in person. This creates a bottleneck as flirting with strangers is considered less and less appropriate given Millennial aversion to strangers and rising awareness of sex crimes against young women. This isn't an unreasonable reaction to the threat of strangers committing sex crimes, but it does produce an obstacle.
Most people who meet in person tend to meet through a social aggregator, a structure that introduces you to new people rapidly and in a socially appropriate context. Work, a club, a church, these are all good examples. School is a great social aggregator as you engage with a ton of strangers of similar demographics regularly. Most people these days are in fewer and smaller social aggregators as they age and tend to stick to an insular existing friend group.
School is great??? Nah uni/college, yeah sure but school!? Nani!?
@@swiggityswo9558 School is one. Just not the best
@@swiggityswo9558 Technically uni/collages are schools.
Those are actually my ways to meet people as well haha. Be it at school, church, you name it. Seriously it’s sad how in most cast you can’t say hello or start a conversation with anyone out in the world out of random say while waiting in line to purchase a good, sitting in a doctors office etc. My parents told me that it was more open society in the 20th century. Most cases nowadays, people will think you’re a freak for even trying to kindle a convo with them. It’s stupid.I notice too most girls nowadays are having less regards for men sadly. Honestly I thought it was me whenever I kindle a conversation and then ask them out. I wonder if I had done something wrong. so I was careful after every shot and corrected myself as much as possible. I knew in the long wrong that it turned out not to be so. There’s something that’s making these girls not wanting to meet a guy or pursue a relationship after completing or reaching their goals in school or work. My aunt pointed it out one day and, God Bless her I knew I wasn’t the problem, These girls think nowadays that since they’re all successful they don’t need men in their lives. And that’s mainly due to the amount of money they’re making and sure maybe because of unfortunate circumstances they experienced in the past. But we’re all not like that. And the same thing goes for women, they’re not all the same. Regardless for me as a man of 25, though I’m pursing my goals in school and saving money, I can’t live in this life without a woman. We all need a partner. I’m not one to open up but it does feel pretty damn lonely at times, especially in a generation or time now that women just turn elsewhere instead of letting us men show that most of us aren’t what they think we are. Hey God is in control, one day maturity will kick in to these girls cus they’re in the flesh as much as us men are in the flesh. Meaning we’re all weak. As you get older you learn from your mistakes and then realize eventually we all have to reach a high level of maturity sometime, cus that’s very important. Plus they did a study that most people who stay single for the rest of their lives die younger than those who are in relationships.
As a millenial, the opportunity to find a girlfriend has yet to present itself in my life, and I'm starting to question whether or not it ever will.
I'm with you. Dating apps are one big failure because I can't even get enough replies back to know if she's even somewhat fun and interesting to ask on a date. And forget trying to find a girl IRL...when literally no one looks your way or smiles and invites you to talk with their body language you know it's gonna be a rough long haul.
@@JV-tk9yn yup...
Same. Been seriously considering lately that I will forever be alone. Cold harsh truth, but I might have to accept it
funny, the other gender has the opposite problem
Go to a fking bar, club, beach, coffeeshop, or public parks and approach people there🤦🏻♂️
I think it’s because we are addicted to pleasure and don’t know what work is. I had to retrain my brain after being inundated my whole childhood with cartoons, sugary cereal, pop, ice cream, toys, video games, limitless time with friends, and pretty much anything I wanted. I had to retrain myself how to work when I became an adult... and now I see a lot of my friends who didn’t do so. They’re just old children
^^^ this 1000x
I know so many people who are well into their 20s who have not grown as people since high school.
ItsAllUnity I’m not saying working hard will get you a girlfriend. I’m saying a relationship is hard work every single step of the way and most of us don’t understand that anymore because our childhood made it seem like life and relationships are about pleasure. Even if one person in a relationship is ready to work on the relationship until their last breath the other person may just be ready to suck that all out of you and take it for granted instead of doing equal work.
Life may not be all about work but everything worth it in life will take a lot of work.
@UCGd2R5CB8AIaW7fK4mcyj8Q I would love for you to write a book or do a video about this subject. This is really interesting sounding
You speak the truth. How did you go about this process of retraining your brain?
"I had to retrain my brain after being inundated my whole childhood with...pretty much anything I wanted."
Thank worthless Western single mothers for that.
Dating is hard because of Shallowness, Selfishness, Cynicism and Entitlement. I miss anything??
inequality in the dating market
✡️✡️✡️
Dating is a rigged game and I'm not playing. I'd rather retire when I'm 45.
Dating has become incredibly impersonal, superficial, and sometimes outright cold-hearted. This is baked into our dating culture, and I'm guilty of contributing to it myself. Extreme ideological siloing has made this worse. And I would argue that life priorities have vastly changed from previous generations and that these priorities vary wildly among various subgroups.
yes a culture of competition and consumption. This won't make you happy
@foenems grave I think it is definitely real, but the notion of what constitutes it varies largely based on the culture/subculture and period of time. It certainly changes somewhat to some extent at one ages. But what do I know? You ask me, 'what is love?' and I instantly think of Night at the Roxbury.
@@npaul4171 ... True about ideology being a deal breaker bow where it wouldn't have been in the past.
A girl I talked to for a bit brought up politics on the first date, and kept digging and digging until I gave in and talked about it ... And she went cold as ice after that.
We were different, sure, but we might have had some interesting conversations... But it requires trust, and that requires a bit of a relationship before diving into dangerous topics.
Sigh.
Priorities have changed, I have yet to meet someone in their 20s who says they want to get married and start a family like back in the old days.
Said perfectly, so true
Since I don’t like dating apps I guess I’ll stay single forever, I just hope I’ll have enough space in my house for those 40 cats
im on board with you bro
Millennial here. I have avoided all online dating since I tried it years ago and everyone ended up being weird af or liars. I gave up dating after my last relationship but if I do start up again it will only happen with those that I meet irl and actually converse with me WITH eye contacts.
Being in my mid thirties I’m at the tail end of millennials so I actually had to interact socially with no internet or apps really existing so I remember and enjoy the real life flirting and asking someone out but people just don’t talk anymore it’s all so weird.
I was married all through my twenties for nearly a decade so I missed out on all the app stuff until I was single at 31 and tried out tinder and pof. My god the women I met were either shy beyond belief, psychotic or had three kids they didn’t tell me about until a few dates in. And they all wanted to have sex on the first date which creeped me out.
Everything has been turned into fast food and instant gratification I guess so dating is no different sadly.
I have no kids, in good shape, 6’4” tall, own my own business that’s beginning to take off and all I ever wanted was a partner to stick with me for life and maybe have a family but it’s impossible to find now as it’s so easy to just find instant love or sex on an app.
Glad I’ve got cats lol 🤷♂️
I'm in a similar boat. I definitely won't lower my standards anymore. Not even an inch. And I'm fine if that means being single for the rest of my life. It's infinitely better than the alternative.
You are having bad luck dating because well... Just read your comment. You think you're so much better than everyone. You are attracting what you put out. There are just normal people on Tinder it's not just psychos and shy girls and girls with kids. That's your perspective in life
@@jennlemmelin443 Piss off with your twisted interpretations. it's exactly people like you we can all do well without.
@@omegalord how can anyone actually think this way? You really think all women are this and all women are that. Well, of course you could do without me because people like you don't like hearing the truth. I can't believe you are so full of hate and you wonder why you are having bad luck with women
@@jennlemmelin443 Who are you talking to? I never said any of that. Crazy cat lady alert.
Stop projecting your own insecurities on to me. I don't want you, and I hope nobody ever lowers their standards and accidentally gets involved with you. Your comments are already insufferable and insane.
Now go back to Tinder, where you'll find someone desperate enough to put up with your bullshit for a while.
Because people are so entitled to what they think they deserve (high quality people) while having little to offer.
Wrong it's all in the personality what you put out shows who you are not your titles.
We’re way too used to instant gratification in my opinion, we never needed to put in a lot or work to get Results which is much different than real life relationships/interactions in my opinion. Plus career etc.
True
that's the parent's fault, if you don't give instant gratification to your kid, that wouldn't happen
It’s not hard. We just make it hard.
I wish I could meet people without dating apps. I'm sick of people who can't handle their mental issues as well. Go to therapy ffs.
The problem is Dating apps, anxiety, fear, instant gratification, no commitment, having so many options.
😭😢😢😢
I met my boyfriend at a wedding. People are so surprised when I tell them that because they expected me to say that I met him through Tinder or other dating apps...
entire video is wrong. The problem is easy access to new partners at a simple swipe on tinder, people don't put effort into relationships and wait for the "perfect person" without putting any work in
Liamb2179 agreed that and thinking they are the perfect candidate and don’t try to self improve
This is the correct answer.
Those of us who have no confidence and never get any matches: are we a joke to you?
You nailed it
They forgot to mention how exhausting online dating can be with all the rejection and ghosting
Attractive Millennials: *Hold my perfect hair*
*barf*
*twerk*
*selfie*
*smile*
You should mention that there's a large percentage of men for whom Tinder doesn't result in any dates. And when dating is mostly online - you end up with a lot more single men now than in the past.
I'm 42
Gen X.... and still remember a time, when you wouldn't DARE, say you met someone on-line.
Now it's so trendy....
that it's fu%kin up society.
I miss our teen years and early 20s! Take me back 🥺
@@mariapapaconstantinou7934 to the paradise city where grass is green and girls are pretty?
I'm old enough to remember it being embarrassing hahahaha there was a time I'd never say I met someone online 🤣🤣🤣🤣
People used to date to marry. Nowadays, people are dating to fuck. I don’t want to have a boyfriend because I enjoy being alone. I’d rather being with myself than with someone that is with me for having sex. The truth? Most people aren’t truly in love with their partner for who he/she is. They are in love with their partner because of what they are getting from him/her. Real love is rare. This is sad but this is true.
we were also taught in school about "stranger danger" to a point where it ruined our sense of trust if we already did not have a ruined sense of trust from our own family
So we gonna act like sex trafficking isn't on the rise when she says "stranger danger isn't appropriate as an adult"?
I think she was talking about the paranoia in the 80s and 90s. I remember my parents being freaked out about people kidnapping me and it really effected me. They isolated me in the house scared that I would dissapear
Sex trafficking is on the rise? You mean instagram models with onlyfans accounts are travelling to Dubai?
In my case social anxiety and financial reasons. Also I don't believe in sex before marriage. I'm old school in that way but my generation are all for having the hook up culture. There also the fact that to many women in my Gen are giving up the kitty to easily to men as well and also the fact men in my gen just aren't interested in marriage these days. Finally it is very difficult to meet new people because my gen have their heads in their phones instead of talking to each other.
You think our generation is fucked up ?! Well, I suggest you look at Tiktok... These 12-25 generations are doomed ! ;))))
@@leomanager21 yeah i'll admit that's true as well
dating apps suck....especially when people can ghost easily and you never what happened. is it your fault or was it all on them?
I think it may be a mixture of things, mixture of ppl not knowing how to interact with new ppl, mixture of meeting online is like just texting new ppl is not always the best/most effective, also the fact that it’s so easy to just go on dating apps and just look for “Another one”, and hiding behind a screen and ignoring/ghosting ppl.
Yeah completely I get matches all the time and no one bothers to message me back !!? They are daft .
lizythewizz meow I thought I was the only one
20% percent of men share 80% of women
I'm 29 and so frustrated at our generation. We suck at dating.
it doesnt suck if youre an attractive guy or an average looking girl
Yes, please tell me more about my generation’s problems.
I’m sure it has nothing to do with the rising depression/ debt, overwork, debt, parent’s divorce, rising crime, etc.
you’re right. Our problems are within the internet 😂😂😂
LaLaKyla well the internet damn sure ain’t helping
Jim bob Fisher I think that depends on the person. I think the Internet was my salvation, but maybe you believe it’s a bad thing. That leaves you in the minority, but everyone is different
@@jimbobfisher8904 the internet is what you make of it. It can be the ultimate source of human knowledge or your personal search engine for the most depraved people on the planet.
I dont think it has anything to do with these. Its pretty obvious why dating is fucked right now.
@General Grievous nah my dude. depression appeared in the second millennium B.C.E. in Mesopotamia’s historical records
I completely agree with the stranger thing(no pun intended). I’ve never had small talk with another millennial it’s always someone in the older generations.
Leave Your Thoughts Below
Yes, and it’s always them who initiate.
So people meet online, but what's that got to do with dating irl? They meet online then date in person, obviously. The title just doesn't make much sense.
I think online dating is great. Many advantages aren't mentioned here. Both parties know the other is interested and their advances aren't unwelcome, they can vet the other before meeting, and they can meet in person in a way that convenient and safe for both. It's just much safer and less random than meeting a person at a bar. I think it's a great trend!
I was thinking of this exact topic a few months ago. I'm 30, have been out of a relationship for a little over a year now and want to get back in a new relationship. I kinda hate online dating and want to just meet someone through mutual friends/common interests/activities, but I find there is so much fear of approaching a girl/having a girl just not want to be in a relationship at all these days. It's a weird time to be dating. :S
When I proposed to my wife I gave her a ring made out of tinfoil and a piece of glass. She loves it so much. We’ve been married for twenty years. She is a blonde.
Fitting name..
Well, at least she is a blonde.
Why do you need to mention her hair colour?💀💀💀
so basically, it's our parents faults for making is antisocial. And its social media's fault for making us socially awkward
It’s no one’s fault. People are just insecure and make so many excuses.
Love is temporary, hate is eternal.
I like that quote. Im going to use it sometimes. Thanks.
Dating is hard because of 2 things:
1. 49'ers Women who are 4's thinking they're 9's
2 The average woman thinks the average man is below average
I personally find most people unapproachable because they just can't handle a stranger saying hello or starting a conversation. At 37 years old I remember how interactions with strangers used to be before social media, striking a conversation on a bus or at the store used be totally normal and congenial. Now its just..."huh? do you need something", "do I know you? what do you want?", or they just completely ignore you and walk away. I personally have only used social media a few dozen times to keep up with old friends so meeting people in public is the only place I get to meet people and it just seems like no one wants to be bothered.
I met by boyfriend in high school, by chance waiting for the late bus at school. There was a big group of people there until everyone left to get on the first bus, while we were the only 2 waiting to get on the second bus. He sparked up a conversation with me, and we started dating shortly after.
He was an international student from Japan, studying in Canada for grade 11. He went back to Japan for grade 12, and we were long distance for a little more than a year. He came back to Canada for university. I’m so grateful that I met him and it is sad how some people try to limit contact with others because there is a chance you are missing out on something that could have been great.
"tinder gives matches"...Yeah, if you're 6ft, skinny and white. Otherwise, you're just working/sleeping/gaming.
Fling Gibstopper exactly. Online dating is so rigged in favor of tall white men.
I am 6'4", white, and go to the gym constantly. I have a six pack. I still don't get many matches. The girls on tinder are flakey asf too so what's the point in matching anyway?
you forgot that your profile also has to indicate you go to the gym frequently, you are also a world traveler, and are very witty and a part time comedian apparently because you have to make them laugh, almost like a clown
@@bleepbloop7039 No the best part about dating apps, is that women will dismiss you if you say "Hello". Like they think every guy is going to write a fucking romantic novel to introduce themselves to a total stranger. It's actually delusional.
I’ve never used any dating apps and yet I’ve had several failed relationships with people I’ve met conventionally. I don’t know what’s better anymore lol
I belong to a fucked up generation that starts with apps like tinder and ends up in the divorce court in no time.
Internet ruined it all really
Life was easy when I was growing up... I had a great childhood / you went to school Monday through Friday, went out and played with friends on Saturday - outside - not inside looking at some laptop or video game / and on Sunday you gave the Lord His due...you went to school, got your drivers license, dated (can't get a date...REALLY?), got married, had kids and built a life. By 18 you were pretty much on your own. You existed in your local community. That is where your entire focus was. You kids today live in a virtual world of millions - have access to all of the information in the known universe - you're like a man standing at a buffet of unlimited food but you can't make a decision...and you haven't yet realized that a human being can only eat so much, learn so much, have so many choices before you drown in the sheer number of options you have before you. You end up being unable to choose, act or live because you are buried in a world that doesn't even exist except on your Iphones. You take offense at everything and in spite of having access to so much information - you are rarely in possession of the facts. Life NEVER requires you to be in possession of so much in order to be enjoyed. It's truly something to see.
Everyone has their head down looking at their phones and their ear phones plugged in. Thats why.
I rather relive 2020 than to ever sign up on a dating app again.
*We gone pretend she aint swipe left because it would have looked racist*
LMFAO!!! 🤣😂🤣
Its like we share the same brain.
why would it look racist?
Insecure**
Hahah... I noticed it too. Was thinking exactly the same thing
I'm in my early 30s and still single and unmarried at 31 and a virgin and very hard to find someone in a regional area
@Invader Jet don’t give up
I have 0 matches on tinder. Lol
@Mayo Dog given that, and that it's YT, I'd assume yes.
If you’re a white man set your location to Southeast Asia
I met my husband when we were in the service back in 2010. I'm super blessed about that.
wow, this is to a TEA exactly how i feel. I never have been able to meet someone on dating apps bc i don't know how to flirt through text. i've always flirted and person. and with less people wanting to approach eachother in person it makes dating so hard!
Everywhere I go online, people develop a list of do's and don'ts before talking to them. That should tell us how awkward/anxious our generation has become.
Because Millennials are the current generation that is young and adult, and this is the time period of the highest urbanization, which increases objectification of people, lowering the likelihood of meaningful relationships. Separate the generation talk from population density and the argument no longer exists. You’ll see the same trends in individuals living now in a given population density as you will in individuals living 20 years ago in the same population density. Millennials don’t have the issues as a generation that people associate with them, rather the environment does, and more individuals of the Millennial generation are in such an environment.
Millenails are 35 now. Most 13-25 year olds are Gen-z
I agree. Look at Japan and how dating is nonexistent and how it needs government intervention because of birth rates. And then look at sweden. For jobs that require a more human input such as Stem subjects, we see that western countries such as sweden excell in these catagories. But educational wise, we see japan and korea put much more money towards education and have more educated children. However we see how western STEM workers are more valuable and more productive than their japanese/korean equivalents despite logically the Japanese working more hours and having higher education. As kids, we were taught to be machines and robots to be the most efficient cog in the system and how we would be rewarded for it. Now you see computers taking over jobs and roles that traditionally required little thinking but high repetition that humans used to do but machines do better.
While we're developing machine learning to take over the other jobs, we can't really. For example with natural language processing(voice recognition), we implemented machine learning that does a great job of identifying what someone might want or need and can inference. But what there are plenty of sentences and phrases that it cant decipher, all of which require real-life experiences to actually decipher and get meaning out of. We cant have a machine do it because it doesn't have the experience necessary but we can have a human do it because humans come with that real-life experience and subtle know-how built-in from actually living.
What our schools and parents do is we teach our kids to be robots. We deprive them of going outside and having fun and we deprive them of talking to strangers and we deprive them of EVERYTHING all in the name of "safety" and avoiding unavoidable risks that. What happens is our kids are now becoming nothing better than a human operator behind a machine half the time. They don't know how to talk, they cant understand subtle social cues, they don't understand how the world works. Their just machines.
We expect things we as a society have all together restricted from our kids from learning, and wonder why it is so.
This is why I give up on dating when it comes to being a millennial.
The faster you can learn to deal with rejection the easier your dating life will be
Also, curb that porn viewership
you never grow in comfort
FloridaRaider Exactly!
A lot of women today don’t know how to handle a conversation and think your a creep if you talk with your mouth also any man who is alpha and has balls to approach are considered “toxic masculine” lol I’m so glad I have my wife I met her by talking at the gym and both of us did not have social media
Sounds like you're completely misinformed about what the term toxic masculinity even is.
I still look forward to meeting the love of my life while living my everyday life.