The Ultimate Guide to Complaining

Complaining is very tempting. When experiencing difficulty, it can seem helpful to vent our frustration. But chronic complaining can hinder the development of genuine bonds and can reinforce a negative mindset. Complaining narrows our focus and prevents us from reframing challenges as opportunities for growth. In this episode, Sharif and Dr. Majeres do a deep dive into complaining. Defending oneself or correcting injustices are not considered complaining. Real complaining - which is the futile expression of impatience - has negative effects on our brain and body, weakens our bonds with others, and prevents us from truly solving the problems we face. Instead of complaining, we can accurately assess challenges and find ways that they will bring out our best.
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RUclips Music: • The OptimalWork Podcast
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[@dawnelainebowie3943]

Fine line between complaining and gossip! Fantastic perspective on what complaining is. Impatience with discomfort over which we have no control. Love it!

[@robertcarew9767]

Thank you kindly for another wonderful episode. These episodes are always one of the highlights of my week and they continue to transform my daily work as a husband, father, and psychotherapist.

[@seamonsterrr]

Thank you for this!!! for clarifying the definition of complaining. There are some people who would confuse "not complaining" with an unhealthy desire to preserve the status quo at all cost. There are some people who are walking around on eggshells and it's killing them inside. Yes!!! accurately assessing challenges is key!!! What are you afraid of??! What do you really want??! Take the time to do this and you are halfway there.

[@petruskas]

A huge fan of your podcast / master class here - thank you for your fantastic work. I have one question for you. I’ve dealt with various psychosomatic symptoms throughout my life (pain, migraines, etc), and one of the frequently recommended solutions is journaling. More specifically, venting on paper without any filter whatsoever in order to stop identifying oneself with his thoughts and gain awareness of what’s going on in one’s mind (e.g. Nicole Sachs’ popular “Journal Speak”). Many people *do* report significant alleviation or even cessation of symptoms as a result of this temper-tantrum-like journaling practice. I wonder what your take on that is. My hypothesis for why this technique works, even without a reframe, is that writing things down inevitably involves the prefrontal cortex instead of the emotional centers of the brain, which is in itself calming for the amygdala. TLDR I’m not sure whether vent-journaling is a good strategy for the long run.