Great topic! The only thing that was missing was having a guest around who was born and bread in Germany and did not came as a migrant. That perspective would have brought a complete different depth into the conversation.
I’m a black American who just moved to Germany maybe 6 months ago because my husband is from here and I’m happy I found this channel. I’m in Baden-Württemberg so that’s the part of Germany I’m most familiar with. This video was an interesting perspective and very different from my own experience so far. Thank you to you three for this video!
Thank you for watching. I was so moved by the cultural differences and sometimes frustrated so I thought why not just speak to the people and learn from it. I appreciate you finding the channel. More to come, I promise. We are going all in.
Welcome to Germany . Americans have different experiences to native Africans. Germans idolize Americans due to the pop culture and the mere fact that US is a big economy. There is a whole history of Germans trying to immigrate to USA because of world war II and poverty (more opportunities). Second, married people have different experiences. I have experienced both- I was married to a German and now newly single. My first year where I spent most times shadowing my man, I rarely experienced racism. Got my first job and didnt last a week before I got my awakening. I am now single and now dating in Germany is quite interesting for lack of better word and moreso if you are a black woman. Sexualisation of black women is real. ......Also as someone who is native African, I never experienced Racism unlike other immigrants who come from USA or Brazil etc. For lack of better word, we are not accustomed to being treated diffferent. We only know we are black when we set foot here.
Great conversation...have really learnt some lessons especially how some "little" things mean a lot to our women but most men take it for granted. I nearly got pepper sprayed while walking behind three ladies. To them that was creepy but to me i was only going to my lab. Since then i try not to walk behind a lady.
If I am going on my lane to matter my business,it is not my fault that some women are walking in the same direction. If I don't have any intention to talk to them or bother them, why do I have to take another pathway or road? To me it happens that a woman is walking behind me, she walks faster to get passed me.
Always keep a distance. I'm a black woman, and I do not appreciate men standing too close to me in a queue, and while walking, if I realise a man is behind me, I will most probably let them pass because most of the time, I don't feel safe.
I am younger than the women in the video so I can not completely relate but some things did not change. There was a big switch around 2014 and when black things got cool and lightskin was cool and braids got cool and you got cool as an accessory. The racism started to go insane from that on cause people did not really talk about it anymore. It showed but so subtitle. After school I realized I have always been pretty which was in 2021 btw and now I still need to realize that I am actually pretty. The craziest turn was me realizing that people love to stick to lies. Racism is a lie. People that are racist or internalized racism (for example black men), aren't just racist... they do not believe in you, they do not see you, if they men, they will just see you as an object of course, they will abuse you, gaslight you and will not take you seriously. Yes they perceive us as lesser beings and yes we are at bottom, that's what they think. But in reality we know, we always knew and they know we can always know!!! I will never go down this crazy path again, begging for white validation, male validation dadada it will make you loose your mind.
I recon that the problem with colorism is very real I have seen it multiple times for women but also men. The idea that light equates to cute and feminine is leading to a problem as much as darkness equates to strength. This theory is then applied to human beings which then also reflects in our preferences. It’s not always the case but a possible explanation for our issue. I unfortunately heard that black man just prefer lighter girls for certain attributes, contrary I hear black women saying that they prefer a dark skin black men for XY reasons. At the end I would say this is due to ignorance and also human nature for some part
Thanks for contributing. Colourism is certainly real. I have been around a lot of conversations that placed lightness closer to beauty and some from my own circle of people who I thought were cool. Its chalked down as preference. Same, In my experience my Black women friends always tell me they prefer dark skinned men. The opposite for my male circle. They won't always come out to say it but I can see it in the type of women they always approach or date. Whatever reason. Love who you love, just don't disrespect others in the process.
One thing we have to understand is this. Other race of women have been soft for along time. Black women have had on hyper independence for a long time. So no matter how we say we want soft we don’t know how to be soft. We ourselves are learning to be soft. I saw it with a friend of mine who's wife is another race in a situation that happen how i reacted and how she acted. The bahaviour from me is very common in the black community from women and saw at that point why and how i would be passive as strong aggressive, etc. Also, these behaviours can sometimes come across as belittling, dismissing of someones feelings etc even though these behaviours are not intentional and alot of the time it doesn't come from a bad place. But it doesn't take from the fact that they do give an opinion of us in the west which their culture is soft.
Absolutely. I grew up here and have had a completely different experience... and have friends who have had as well. There ae very good experiences here too. They actually find black people extremely beautiful, and much of their seeming disdain is masked feeling intimidated. I see both sides of the coin. I get what the ladies above are saying, and they make it very understandable why they see and experience things the way they do... and absolutely true with the strong black woman - but that's a global thing, and in part, due to our own behaviour...which is understandable how we got there. However... Germans are an abrasive bunch, even amongst each other and themselves, and don't really notice nuances as much as more culturally savvy people do - we have to adapt here, so are also already more sensitized due to the process of adapting. They're "at home" so not in the process of adapting, so they just blurt out whatever they think or see. They also don't have as huge a colonial past as the other european countries, played a smaller, but still horrible role on that stage, so haven't been adapting to differences for as long a time as France and UK and cohorts, plus had that other past that we are all still digesting, so they are literally just starting to adapt now. The black men thing I've noticed too... it's wild. Black men here I've noticed, have no issues finding a german partner (so much to racism)... and seem to prefer that for whatever reasons.
I am from West African living in Germany. I saw a video of a white boy who was in Africa and the kids were touching his hair out of curiosity. I believe racism exist but the woman could’ve reacted positively when her hair was touched! It could be out of genuine curiosity. I don’t see it as a race thing!
Hey. Offcourse it can be genuine curiosity and that’s fine. But that is not the same thing as African kids touching a White persons hair. Firstly, historical context. Germany literally had 400 human zoos where Black people were exhibited and petted like animals in the 1930s. Secondly, Black women’s hair has always been viewed as untidy, unprofessional and unkept in most European countries. May not seem much to those who are not in this group but because of such things Black women have had to strive to develop some pride and resistance for themselves and unfortunately that includes not being touched or views in certain ways. And as far as I am concerned that’s a legitimate reason. Plus it’s just unhygienic. Black women wash their hair less often than other races due to the texture. Just letting random peoples hands in your hair is just not sensible. So it is a race thing. It’s not as if we always want it to be but unfortunately historical and social context as well as general hygiene plays a part. Let’s not be quick to always assume everything is “the race card” just for the fun of it.
@@ConvosXpodcast One can fault her for touching someone’s hair without consent. However i believe the historical context has little connection with her behavior . I believe she’s just impressed by the she saw which I believe could be understood and welcomed
@@ConvosXpodcast It took me just 10 minutes of research to find out that you're very misinformed about the historical context you put forward as an argument here. First of all, there weren't "literal 400 human zoos" in Germany, ever, at any point. What you are referring to are "human shows/showcases", where groups of people toured around the country - similar to a circus - and pulled up as exhibition in different cities, and not even many cities in total at that. The only point i could find the number 400 was the amount of groups that were showcased total during the time between 1875-1930. The first exhibition showcasing people from Lapland, which is a region in Scandinavia and predominantly white. The first black exhibition is recorded in 1877, two years later. As horrible and obviously indefensable all of this is, this wasn't targeted towards black people at all. It was a phenomenon to showcase "others" from all sorts of cultures and ethnicities and by no means a petting zoo. While i am sure that contact occured, those exhibitions mostly weren't set up for that at all. The people were set up in fake-villages and scenarios and fenced in to be looked at. Not for an interactive experience. To take those events and twist them as problem only for black people is distasteful at best, especially considering that you used it as an argument as to why it's okay for white people to be touched without consent but not the other way around. As if being touched is the major issue here. People of all ethicities and backgrounds were hurt in those showcases, including white people. Hurt and abused. Being touched would've been the least offense. It is and never was a skin colour issue, but people made it one. Either touching someone without consent is wrong, or it is not, skin colour has nothing to do with it. Neither does intent. I don't accept curiosity as a valid point from either side here. You cannot jump to the defense and excuse the same action from one group and condemn another for the same thing. Rules for thee and not for me. We need more nuance than that to end discrimination and move society forward. All in all: Do not touch people. End of story.
@@Jato-v7jOther than historical context, it all comes down to boundaries. That's clearly a person who doesn't respect people's boundaries because why would you be ok with someone you don't even know just touching your hair out of nowhere?
Whichever African country you live in probably has relatively much lower population of caucasians. South Africa has a significant amount of Ads featuring caucasians because its a significant population. Its because of representation, we need to see ourselves in the products that they are convincing us to buy because we do buy them. Plus it just makes business sense to reflect the profiles of your customers.
Different country, different culture, different people. Pretty normal for me. In Africa they touched my blond hair and don‘t ask. Natural curiosity. Never thought that it‘s rude. It was a good situation to get a connection to the people, to a new culture. Humans don‘t want to just look, they want to touch and smell, especially the kids. If you don‘t like that, stay at home 😊
There are 54 countries in Africa. Which one? Secondly you are allowed not to like people touching your hair and saying so. It can be ok with you and it can be not ok with someone else. I am not even going to go into the historical context of it all. Thanks.
@@ConvosXpodcast sure you are allowed to say no but people did it anyway because they are used to it. Different culture, different behavior. They don‘t think it‘s rude and they don‘t want to upset you. That‘s all i want to say. ✌️
Greetings from Wildau outside Berlin and been here with 2 kids. Been here 10 years amd would love to have a conversation with you about the turkish german lady who went viral.
Greetings to you. I don't think I heard of this lady. Anyway, we don't really do particular stories yet but hopefully we can cross paths on something else.
@TheNameisPY if you type german woman black women you will see that her video has gone super viral. But it brings up a great point on way average black men feel so valued here vs at home
If you ever wish to do a strwamyard interview or conversation I know 2 other black men who married here from usa who would love to have a conversation about this
Hello sisters and brothers, I think that we Africans with dark skin (Congo, Nigeria, etc. the Magreb states: Moroccans and Algieria, Tunisians excluded!) I somehow noticed that we weren't well received by German women. It always has to be the blonde guy like David Beckham or Ryan Gosling, more of a Nordic guy. But in America it's completely different, or in England too. How does this happen, I keep asking myself? Do you see it the same way as I do? I'm looking forward to your answer.
In Germany the majority of women actually Go die the mediterrane looking man i.e. italy, turk, spain. Brown eyes, black to Brown Hair and tanned skin. Look at the record of hottest man in Germany. Yes you will have a hard time as a really black Person but also as a White Boy. Englisas, Banderas, Ramazzotti or M'Barek are the Goal. I'm sorry but it has been like that for at least 20-30 years.
Still some confusion in their heads about men and women dynamics. The model you see here in Germany was install by the industry. The so-called women empowerment is all because of scouting more man power for the production etc.
Very interesting conversations, congratulations. Sure, there is room to grow for black man (in Germany), but the women, esp the one in the middle is portraiying an extremely negative picture of black man while putting herself in a position of superiority. Is there anywhere where she has a critical look at black women while interacting with black man? Rejections are on both sides. The ridiculous assumption that black man are with white woman only for the wrong reasons whereas black women are with white guys for love and care, is ridiculous and destroyed all credibility left of the two, esp the one in the middle. There were reasonable and illusionary demands, no honest empathy for black man outside of what the host was suggsting, and again, the lady on the left believably tried though. The young lady on the left side is s.o. you can work together with as a black man, but the lady in the middle, no way. Too biased, too self-centered, too non-reflective, too much Tik Tok quotes as basis of judgement and discussion. Education and career doesn´t always equate to desireable partner. The host tried to direct the conversation into a blalanced one, but had to intervene many times as he was sub-consciously left no other choice. The lack of accountability is too much. Nevertheless, the ladies had good points e.g. regarding roses and colorism which is rampant in the black community and dark skin women do suffer from it as the left side lady confirmed and the middle and "lighter" skinned woman tried, but failed to recall any negative human to human exprience of colorism (meaning she enjoys privilege, but unable to just say it, in comparison to her friend). This lack of accountability is huge weakness during this conversation and in many others, esp. with black women in particular. To set the record straight, in Western societies the black man is already a villian, loud, dangerous and fom Germany to UK to USA being rejected in jobs and society, statistically incarcerated in high numbers compare to average population, killed, and physically harmed as more and more demasculined by empowering black women against black men, "softening" black men image as gay (in movies and adverts form US to Germany) The black woman is being weaponized/used, if she knows or doesn´t. In short, both are here in the diaspora and NOT leaving their best life and potential. We need to work together and start being honest, accountable and not please s.o. for the sake of avoiding the inconvinient conversations the host is trying to conduct. We can do it, but ladies, sorry, but not sorry, you need to step up as well.
There is room for everyone to grow. Step one is to have a respectable conversations through experiences and opinions and thats what we did. I think her Everyones experience and desires are different as far as relationship goes and thats OK. She is entitled to look for a career or educated man if that is what her preference is. I'm sure its not everybody's but so it goes. We don't have to agree on everything. Where would conversations be without bold, unapologetic people like her? I appreciate your thoughtful contribution and thank you for your kind words. Hope you stay tuned. A lot more to come
I felt the same way about her. The way she talked was extremely subjective and totally filtered by her perception of the world, which doesn't mean is an absolute true even though she truly believes it.
One thing I find about our women they know how to speak from both sides of their mouths…. I’m married to a sister she’s what I want but her “manipulative” nature is something I cannot help noticing… I excuse her same way I expect her to excuse my flaws…
Maybe they abound where you come from but from where I come manipulation to our women is like breathing but the blame is not theirs alone … we misinterpret that as love
Tyler Perry is against We BW the reason I do not watch his movies, Ss for me it was always the oyinbo guys that has followed and stalked me in Germany 23 years living in Germany the brothers has never harassed me .
Thanks for sharing. Tyler Perry gets a bad wrap but his stories clearly speak to many. But I see what you mean. I don’t watch it just because I have not made time for them recently.
@42:00 min mark, that there has been bothering and most black men don't realize they are doing this unintentionally to us but just give the others everything. Why is that ?? that's the part that hurts why can you not elevate us like you do non black women.
It's an amazing conversation with certainly lots to learn from. The ladies are exquisite and apparently intelligent. But I keep asking myself all through the video, where are these perceptions coming from? As much as I support women security and freedom in all ways, the discussion is skewed towards women. When a man tells a women what he wants, we say he's controlling. But when a man does not behave or do what a women wants, we say he's unromantic. Oversexualisation of black women isn't majorly from the media or how black men portray them, it is how they portray themselves most times. Moreover, black men and women are not homogenous and our various experiences shape us differently. The way some black men have not reliquished their barbaric cultural beliefs and behaviours towards women, is the same way many black women still put on thier greedy view of men. And this, by no means, applies to either all women or men. You all got my thumbs up!
Thank you Sir. the discussion was deliberately skewed towards women. We will have an episode skewed towards men next. I think the perceptions came from their experiences which they detailed some of. I disagree with your opinion on the over-sexualisation being majorly on Black women portraying themselves as such.I think a lot of it has to do with the media and what they prefer to promote for their money, but I agree we should hold some accountability. Same way we only see the gangsta, violent portrayal of Black men. I know more Black men in great education and careers than I know "gangsters". Same way I see more conservative Black women than I see provocative ones. But you would think otherwise watching us in the media. We have a lot of work to do but we also have a lot of unlearning to do about ourselves and I hope these conversations spark that.
Hey, It was meant to be one-sided. It was a platform for the women to speak. The next episode the men get their turn. Studies? Not that deep yet. Its a young podcast, maybe in future. Point me to some studies I could look at. Thanks for watching.
So did they know that they said the best way to protect black women is to stay away, keep your distance & dont talk to them in person ???? 😂😂😂. They really hate us, they swear they love us but they don't even like us or want us in their vicinity unless it's on their own terms 😂. Interesting conversation tho, I learnt a lot 😊
Thank you for tuning in 🙌🏽 . I am sure she said approaching at inappropriate times and places. Sometime we need to take our ego out of the equation as men and understand how unsafe women feel is some scenarios being approached by men they don't know. Its not hate if you want to be safe in your space. There is a place and a time for everything and sometimes as men we can get it wrong. Don't you think that is valid?
😂😂😂😂so have they told you when the right time is @@ConvosXpodcast. At work it's now harassment, the gym they don't want to be bothered, in church well there's really very few men going to church now, approach in the streets night or day they feel unsafe, in the club when they're in their huddle of friends you're a creep or weird. Nah these people don't like black men for real. These ladies have spent a lot of time in anti- men echo chambers and the disingenuousness is palpable. But I enjoyed the podcast overall. 1st time watcher and new subscriber
I am glad you enjoyed the podcast. Don't you think we as men have developed very brittle egos. We argue about everything. That is not a leadership or masculine trait. If women say they feel unsafe, then they feel unsafe. If they don't want to be approached, then they don't want to be approached. We have also spent way too much time in red pill echo chambers and expect to be honoured at our every advance to women. We are just so weak now rejection sends us clutching our pearls. Its pathetic. I for one, though respecting all these boundaries has never had a problem approaching women for conversations (I'm married so nothing more, I swear). The best time I hear is during mutual friends gatherings and intimate social events. These are the questions you should be asking them not arguing about them feeling unsafe, I think.
Sisters do exactly for us what U’d expect from us ….just an exception but worth noting since U are in Germany check out it relationship dynamics within the matriarchal Ghanaian Akan community in Germany…
Another question from a male perspective… why do women think they’re the only ones with grievances… from our standpoint and I’m no one’s spokesperson but from my perspective the only man a woman feels any empathy towards is their son … it starts with their father and then maybe their brother until they have a son then all “fairness” drops off … their son can do absolutely no wrong … generalizations are valid
@TheNameisPY In many ways. The way we eat, talk, sing, dance, and express ourselves. When in Europe, you all come frome distinct immigrant backgrounds. We didn't immigrate to America, we built America.
Where was this in a busy city location or a quiet spot by herself after 1am? This matters 👀, so distance don’t want man to approach 👀, black men peep this. First right of rejection 🤔. Wonder why black men first to leave. So much the black men ain’t doing right 🤔?.
This is exactly what I meant by y’all leave the chat real quick when it comes to protecting BW, your comment is giving ‘what was she wearing’ energy, it shouldn’t matter where I was, the fact that I felt uncomfortable should be what you concentrate on if protecting BW truly mattered to you and your defensiveness just proves most of our points to be true, you’re listening to defend not to understand, but thank for listening though😁
@@Nupeoplemagazine yeah I do ask, they politely turn the men down and go along with their day, that’s why I asked the for the surroundings, if it’s a spot where she ain’t going to be safe then men should leave it.
![[Heated Debate] Dr. Umar Johnson Checks Black Men About Accountability! Part 2](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/8pHh6ECjtWg/mqdefault.jpg)
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Great topic! The only thing that was missing was having a guest around who was born and bread in Germany and did not came as a migrant. That perspective would have brought a complete different depth into the conversation.
Good point 👌🏾. Will bear that in mind for later topics.
This episode has to go viral. So well spoken. Love it!
Thank you so much 🙏🏾 Share it with your friends.
So glad I found your channel! This episode is so interesting because as a Black American woman, our issues are universal.
Thanks so much. A lot of the issues are so similar. People actually believe we have somehow just imported our grievances from the US. lol.
I’m a black American who just moved to Germany maybe 6 months ago because my husband is from here and I’m happy I found this channel. I’m in Baden-Württemberg so that’s the part of Germany I’m most familiar with. This video was an interesting perspective and very different from my own experience so far. Thank you to you three for this video!
Thank you for watching. I was so moved by the cultural differences and sometimes frustrated so I thought why not just speak to the people and learn from it. I appreciate you finding the channel. More to come, I promise. We are going all in.
Welcome to Germany . Americans have different experiences to native Africans. Germans idolize Americans due to the pop culture and the mere fact that US is a big economy. There is a whole history of Germans trying to immigrate to USA because of world war II and poverty (more opportunities). Second, married people have different experiences. I have experienced both- I was married to a German and now newly single. My first year where I spent most times shadowing my man, I rarely experienced racism. Got my first job and didnt last a week before I got my awakening. I am now single and now dating in Germany is quite interesting for lack of better word and moreso if you are a black woman. Sexualisation of black women is real. ......Also as someone who is native African, I never experienced Racism unlike other immigrants who come from USA or Brazil etc. For lack of better word, we are not accustomed to being treated diffferent. We only know we are black when we set foot here.
A very good summation. Thanks
Thanks for sharing your perspective 🙏🏾
I live in Stuttgart too im a african woman
Such a needed conversation. Great job 🎉
Thank you so much!!!
Wow I'm glad i got to tap into this interesting topic, i love how everyone is glowing beautifully ❤ great chat
Thank you so much. Glad you enjoyed it. Stick around. Much much more to come.
Would love to hear the different culture dynamics between Zimbabwe and Germany from Rufaro since she's Zimbabwean herself🇿🇼
I have so many stories I swear. Been living here for 10 years and it's a challenge for sure
Lol. Sounds like great stories. Hope we can hear them someday.
It seems BW are having similar experiences in Europe, Americas or wherever!!
Good convo. The host’s sound was so low..He needs to put the mic close to him like the ladies.
I'm sorry. I noticed that too during edit. Still learning how all these little details in production. Next ones will get better.
Great conversation...have really learnt some lessons especially how some "little" things mean a lot to our women but most men take it for granted. I nearly got pepper sprayed while walking behind three ladies. To them that was creepy but to me i was only going to my lab. Since then i try not to walk behind a lady.
Bro, its little things like this we can do to that mean a lot to them. Less ego, more listening. Sorry you had to be pepper sprayed though.
If I am going on my lane to matter my business,it is not my fault that some women are walking in the same direction. If I don't have any intention to talk to them or bother them, why do I have to take another pathway or road? To me it happens that a woman is walking behind me, she walks faster to get passed me.
@gutimegamix2543 You don't have to. Its just empathy.
@@ConvosXpodcast the empathy works both ways.
Always keep a distance. I'm a black woman, and I do not appreciate men standing too close to me in a queue, and while walking, if I realise a man is behind me, I will most probably let them pass because most of the time, I don't feel safe.
I am younger than the women in the video so I can not completely relate but some things did not change. There was a big switch around 2014 and when black things got cool and lightskin was cool and braids got cool and you got cool as an accessory. The racism started to go insane from that on cause people did not really talk about it anymore. It showed but so subtitle. After school I realized I have always been pretty which was in 2021 btw and now I still need to realize that I am actually pretty.
The craziest turn was me realizing that people love to stick to lies. Racism is a lie. People that are racist or internalized racism (for example black men), aren't just racist... they do not believe in you, they do not see you, if they men, they will just see you as an object of course, they will abuse you, gaslight you and will not take you seriously. Yes they perceive us as lesser beings and yes we are at bottom, that's what they think.
But in reality we know, we always knew and they know we can always know!!! I will never go down this crazy path again, begging for white validation, male validation dadada it will make you loose your mind.
Black men validation is also not good. I think dark skin (black) women are also largely unseen by fellow black men.
There is a lot of healing to be done. The comments on our TikTok page are so sad.
I recon that the problem with colorism is very real I have seen it multiple times for women but also men. The idea that light equates to cute and feminine is leading to a problem as much as darkness equates to strength. This theory is then applied to human beings which then also reflects in our preferences. It’s not always the case but a possible explanation for our issue. I unfortunately heard that black man just prefer lighter girls for certain attributes, contrary I hear black women saying that they prefer a dark skin black men for XY reasons. At the end I would say this is due to ignorance and also human nature for some part
Thanks for contributing. Colourism is certainly real. I have been around a lot of conversations that placed lightness closer to beauty and some from my own circle of people who I thought were cool. Its chalked down as preference. Same, In my experience my Black women friends always tell me they prefer dark skinned men. The opposite for my male circle. They won't always come out to say it but I can see it in the type of women they always approach or date. Whatever reason. Love who you love, just don't disrespect others in the process.
One thing we have to understand is this. Other race of women have been soft for along time. Black women have had on hyper independence for a long time. So no matter how we say we want soft we don’t know how to be soft. We ourselves are learning to be soft. I saw it with a friend of mine who's wife is another race in a situation that happen how i reacted and how she acted. The bahaviour from me is very common in the black community from women and saw at that point why and how i would be passive as strong aggressive, etc. Also, these behaviours can sometimes come across as belittling, dismissing of someones feelings etc even though these behaviours are not intentional and alot of the time it doesn't come from a bad place. But it doesn't take from the fact that they do give an opinion of us in the west which their culture is soft.
I love that explanation. thank you.
Absolutely. I grew up here and have had a completely different experience... and have friends who have had as well. There ae very good experiences here too. They actually find black people extremely beautiful, and much of their seeming disdain is masked feeling intimidated. I see both sides of the coin. I get what the ladies above are saying, and they make it very understandable why they see and experience things the way they do... and absolutely true with the strong black woman - but that's a global thing, and in part, due to our own behaviour...which is understandable how we got there. However... Germans are an abrasive bunch, even amongst each other and themselves, and don't really notice nuances as much as more culturally savvy people do - we have to adapt here, so are also already more sensitized due to the process of adapting. They're "at home" so not in the process of adapting, so they just blurt out whatever they think or see. They also don't have as huge a colonial past as the other european countries, played a smaller, but still horrible role on that stage, so haven't been adapting to differences for as long a time as France and UK and cohorts, plus had that other past that we are all still digesting, so they are literally just starting to adapt now. The black men thing I've noticed too... it's wild. Black men here I've noticed, have no issues finding a german partner (so much to racism)... and seem to prefer that for whatever reasons.
I am from
West African living in Germany. I saw a video of a white boy who was in Africa and the kids were touching his hair out of curiosity. I believe racism exist but the woman could’ve reacted positively when her hair was touched! It could be out of genuine curiosity. I don’t see it as a race thing!
Hey. Offcourse it can be genuine curiosity and that’s fine. But that is not the same thing as African kids touching a White persons hair. Firstly, historical context. Germany literally had 400 human zoos where Black people were exhibited and petted like animals in the 1930s. Secondly, Black women’s hair has always been viewed as untidy, unprofessional and unkept in most European countries.
May not seem much to those who are not in this group but because of such things Black women have had to strive to develop some pride and resistance for themselves and unfortunately that includes not being touched or views in certain ways. And as far as I am concerned that’s a legitimate reason.
Plus it’s just unhygienic. Black women wash their hair less often than other races due to the texture. Just letting random peoples hands in your hair is just not sensible.
So it is a race thing. It’s not as if we always want it to be but unfortunately historical and social context as well as general hygiene plays a part. Let’s not be quick to always assume everything is “the race card” just for the fun of it.
@@ConvosXpodcast One can fault her for touching someone’s hair without consent. However i believe the historical context has little connection with her behavior . I believe she’s just impressed by the she saw which I believe could be understood and welcomed
Ask any other Black woman if she is OK with random strangers touching her hair. You will find it’s a collective thing not just individuals
@@ConvosXpodcast It took me just 10 minutes of research to find out that you're very misinformed about the historical context you put forward as an argument here.
First of all, there weren't "literal 400 human zoos" in Germany, ever, at any point. What you are referring to are "human shows/showcases", where groups of people toured around the country - similar to a circus - and pulled up as exhibition in different cities, and not even many cities in total at that.
The only point i could find the number 400 was the amount of groups that were showcased total during the time between 1875-1930. The first exhibition showcasing people from Lapland, which is a region in Scandinavia and predominantly white.
The first black exhibition is recorded in 1877, two years later.
As horrible and obviously indefensable all of this is, this wasn't targeted towards black people at all. It was a phenomenon to showcase "others" from all sorts of cultures and ethnicities and by no means a petting zoo. While i am sure that contact occured, those exhibitions mostly weren't set up for that at all. The people were set up in fake-villages and scenarios and fenced in to be looked at. Not for an interactive experience.
To take those events and twist them as problem only for black people is distasteful at best, especially considering that you used it as an argument as to why it's okay for white people to be touched without consent but not the other way around. As if being touched is the major issue here. People of all ethicities and backgrounds were hurt in those showcases, including white people. Hurt and abused. Being touched would've been the least offense. It is and never was a skin colour issue, but people made it one.
Either touching someone without consent is wrong, or it is not, skin colour has nothing to do with it. Neither does intent.
I don't accept curiosity as a valid point from either side here. You cannot jump to the defense and excuse the same action from one group and condemn another for the same thing. Rules for thee and not for me. We need more nuance than that to end discrimination and move society forward.
All in all: Do not touch people. End of story.
@@Jato-v7jOther than historical context, it all comes down to boundaries. That's clearly a person who doesn't respect people's boundaries because why would you be ok with someone you don't even know just touching your hair out of nowhere?
Really enjoyed this.
Glad you enjoyed it. Thanks you
Why would a mainstream ad have a black face in a 90% caucasian Country i live in qn african country and wr d9nt hqve Caucasian ads anywhere
Whichever African country you live in probably has relatively much lower population of caucasians. South Africa has a significant amount of Ads featuring caucasians because its a significant population. Its because of representation, we need to see ourselves in the products that they are convincing us to buy because we do buy them. Plus it just makes business sense to reflect the profiles of your customers.
Different country, different culture, different people. Pretty normal for me. In Africa they touched my blond hair and don‘t ask. Natural curiosity. Never thought that it‘s rude. It was a good situation to get a connection to the people, to a new culture. Humans don‘t want to just look, they want to touch and smell, especially the kids. If you don‘t like that, stay at home 😊
There are 54 countries in Africa. Which one? Secondly you are allowed not to like people touching your hair and saying so. It can be ok with you and it can be not ok with someone else. I am not even going to go into the historical context of it all. Thanks.
@@ConvosXpodcast sure you are allowed to say no but people did it anyway because they are used to it. Different culture, different behavior. They don‘t think it‘s rude and they don‘t want to upset you. That‘s all i want to say. ✌️
Exactly my thought. I am from Africa but felt the woman’s reaction to her hair being touched is unwarranted
Greetings from Wildau outside Berlin and been here with 2 kids. Been here 10 years amd would love to have a conversation with you about the turkish german lady who went viral.
Greetings to you. I don't think I heard of this lady. Anyway, we don't really do particular stories yet but hopefully we can cross paths on something else.
@TheNameisPY if you type german woman black women you will see that her video has gone super viral. But it brings up a great point on way average black men feel so valued here vs at home
@@ConvosXpodcast suerayya Brooks is her channel name
If you ever wish to do a strwamyard interview or conversation I know 2 other black men who married here from usa who would love to have a conversation about this
Will certainly check her out
Hello sisters and brothers, I think that we Africans with dark skin (Congo, Nigeria, etc. the Magreb states: Moroccans and Algieria, Tunisians excluded!)
I somehow noticed that we weren't well received by German women.
It always has to be the blonde guy like David Beckham or Ryan Gosling, more of a Nordic guy.
But in America it's completely different, or in England too.
How does this happen, I keep asking myself?
Do you see it the same way as I do? I'm looking forward to your answer.
Hello, Not my experience but I will leave this to the comment section.
Not true lol
@@Jennifer-uh8th because?
In Germany the majority of women actually Go die the mediterrane looking man i.e. italy, turk, spain. Brown eyes, black to Brown Hair and tanned skin. Look at the record of hottest man in Germany. Yes you will have a hard time as a really black Person but also as a White Boy. Englisas, Banderas, Ramazzotti or M'Barek are the Goal. I'm sorry but it has been like that for at least 20-30 years.
Thank you ❤
Thank you for watching 🖤
Back ground music at the start is loud.
Apologies, Didn't sound that loud during edits. Damn Premier Pro
Still some confusion in their heads about men and women dynamics.
The model you see here in Germany was install by the industry. The so-called women empowerment is all because of scouting more man power for the production etc.
There is a conversation to be had around that too. Thanks for contributing.
Very interesting conversations, congratulations. Sure, there is room to grow for black man (in Germany), but the women, esp the one in the middle is portraiying an extremely negative picture of black man while putting herself in a position of superiority.
Is there anywhere where she has a critical look at black women while interacting with black man? Rejections are on both sides. The ridiculous assumption that black man are with white woman only for the wrong reasons whereas black women are with white guys for love and care, is ridiculous and destroyed all credibility left of the two, esp the one in the middle.
There were reasonable and illusionary demands, no honest empathy for black man outside of what the host was suggsting, and again, the lady on the left believably tried though.
The young lady on the left side is s.o. you can work together with as a black man, but the lady in the middle, no way. Too biased, too self-centered, too non-reflective, too much Tik Tok quotes as basis of judgement and discussion. Education and career doesn´t always equate to desireable partner.
The host tried to direct the conversation into a blalanced one, but had to intervene many times as he was sub-consciously left no other choice. The lack of accountability is too much. Nevertheless, the ladies had good points e.g. regarding roses and colorism which is rampant in the black community and dark skin women do suffer from it as the left side lady confirmed and the middle and "lighter" skinned woman tried, but failed to recall any negative human to human exprience of colorism (meaning she enjoys privilege, but unable to just say it, in comparison to her friend).
This lack of accountability is huge weakness during this conversation and in many others, esp. with black women in particular. To set the record straight, in Western societies the black man is already a villian, loud, dangerous and fom Germany to UK to USA being rejected in jobs and society, statistically incarcerated in high numbers compare to average population, killed, and physically harmed as more and more demasculined by empowering black women against black men, "softening" black men image as gay (in movies and adverts form US to Germany)
The black woman is being weaponized/used, if she knows or doesn´t. In short, both are here in the diaspora and NOT leaving their best life and potential. We need to work together and start being honest, accountable and not please s.o. for the sake of avoiding the inconvinient conversations the host is trying to conduct. We can do it, but ladies, sorry, but not sorry, you need to step up as well.
Are you an African American male?
There is room for everyone to grow. Step one is to have a respectable conversations through experiences and opinions and thats what we did. I think her Everyones experience and desires are different as far as relationship goes and thats OK. She is entitled to look for a career or educated man if that is what her preference is. I'm sure its not everybody's but so it goes. We don't have to agree on everything. Where would conversations be without bold, unapologetic people like her?
I appreciate your thoughtful contribution and thank you for your kind words. Hope you stay tuned. A lot more to come
I felt the same way about her. The way she talked was extremely subjective and totally filtered by her perception of the world, which doesn't mean is an absolute true even though she truly believes it.
Keep up the good work P.Y
Thank you so much, will do! Stay tuned.
One thing I find about our women they know how to speak from both sides of their mouths…. I’m married to a sister she’s what I want but her “manipulative” nature is something I cannot help noticing… I excuse her same way I expect her to excuse my flaws…
Have you spoken to her about it. Communication helps sometimes.
@@ConvosXpodcast when did U ever meet a black women who’d admit they’re being manipulative??? When
Maybe they abound where you come from but from where I come manipulation to our women is like breathing but the blame is not theirs alone … we misinterpret that as love
Tyler Perry is against We BW the reason I do not watch his movies, Ss for me it was always the oyinbo guys that has followed and stalked me in Germany 23 years living in Germany the brothers has never harassed me .
Thanks for sharing. Tyler Perry gets a bad wrap but his stories clearly speak to many. But I see what you mean. I don’t watch it just because I have not made time for them recently.
I mostly had positive experiences with black men in Germany compare to others (w.m ...)
So many different experiences. But was good to hear the ladies' experiences.
@42:00 min mark, that there has been bothering and most black men don't realize they are doing this unintentionally to us but just give the others everything. Why is that ?? that's the part that hurts why can you not elevate us like you do non black women.
It's an amazing conversation with certainly lots to learn from. The ladies are exquisite and apparently intelligent. But I keep asking myself all through the video, where are these perceptions coming from? As much as I support women security and freedom in all ways, the discussion is skewed towards women. When a man tells a women what he wants, we say he's controlling. But when a man does not behave or do what a women wants, we say he's unromantic. Oversexualisation of black women isn't majorly from the media or how black men portray them, it is how they portray themselves most times.
Moreover, black men and women are not homogenous and our various experiences shape us differently. The way some black men have not reliquished their barbaric cultural beliefs and behaviours towards women, is the same way many black women still put on thier greedy view of men. And this, by no means, applies to either all women or men.
You all got my thumbs up!
Thank you Sir. the discussion was deliberately skewed towards women. We will have an episode skewed towards men next. I think the perceptions came from their experiences which they detailed some of. I disagree with your opinion on the over-sexualisation being majorly on Black women portraying themselves as such.I think a lot of it has to do with the media and what they prefer to promote for their money, but I agree we should hold some accountability. Same way we only see the gangsta, violent portrayal of Black men. I know more Black men in great education and careers than I know "gangsters". Same way I see more conservative Black women than I see provocative ones. But you would think otherwise watching us in the media.
We have a lot of work to do but we also have a lot of unlearning to do about ourselves and I hope these conversations spark that.
Tyler perrys Movie in the eyes of Hollywood are the standard in degrading Black men regardless of African or American. .
The women say the same.That it degrades Black Women.
Such a one-sided conversation with no studies that relate to the opinions being stated.
Hey, It was meant to be one-sided. It was a platform for the women to speak. The next episode the men get their turn. Studies? Not that deep yet. Its a young podcast, maybe in future. Point me to some studies I could look at. Thanks for watching.
@TheNameisPY fair enough, looking forward to hear the men
So did they know that they said the best way to protect black women is to stay away, keep your distance & dont talk to them in person ????
😂😂😂. They really hate us, they swear they love us but they don't even like us or want us in their vicinity unless it's on their own terms 😂.
Interesting conversation tho, I learnt a lot 😊
Thank you for tuning in 🙌🏽 . I am sure she said approaching at inappropriate times and places. Sometime we need to take our ego out of the equation as men and understand how unsafe women feel is some scenarios being approached by men they don't know. Its not hate if you want to be safe in your space. There is a place and a time for everything and sometimes as men we can get it wrong. Don't you think that is valid?
😂😂😂😂so have they told you when the right time is @@ConvosXpodcast. At work it's now harassment, the gym they don't want to be bothered, in church well there's really very few men going to church now, approach in the streets night or day they feel unsafe, in the club when they're in their huddle of friends you're a creep or weird. Nah these people don't like black men for real. These ladies have spent a lot of time in anti- men echo chambers and the disingenuousness is palpable. But I enjoyed the podcast overall. 1st time watcher and new subscriber
@@ConvosXpodcastthank you for a mature response and for truly taking the time to understand how these women feel. 🙏
@@ConvosXpodcastMore of you. Mature, ego-less men. Thank you 🙏🏾
I am glad you enjoyed the podcast.
Don't you think we as men have developed very brittle egos. We argue about everything. That is not a leadership or masculine trait. If women say they feel unsafe, then they feel unsafe. If they don't want to be approached, then they don't want to be approached. We have also spent way too much time in red pill echo chambers and expect to be honoured at our every advance to women. We are just so weak now rejection sends us clutching our pearls. Its pathetic.
I for one, though respecting all these boundaries has never had a problem approaching women for conversations (I'm married so nothing more, I swear). The best time I hear is during mutual friends gatherings and intimate social events. These are the questions you should be asking them not arguing about them feeling unsafe, I think.
When society gets poorer which it seems to be it will feelings will not be as important anymore.
Hmmm, what a paradox.
Sisters do exactly for us what U’d expect from us ….just an exception but worth noting since U are in Germany check out it relationship dynamics within the matriarchal Ghanaian Akan community in Germany…
That would be a good topic to cover in another episode
Another question from a male perspective… why do women think they’re the only ones with grievances… from our standpoint and I’m no one’s spokesperson but from my perspective the only man a woman feels any empathy towards is their son … it starts with their father and then maybe their brother until they have a son then all “fairness” drops off … their son can do absolutely no wrong … generalizations are valid
I don’t think they do. I just think they have more reason to voice it. Especially Black women.
Black American are different
Very
Hey, In which way?
@TheNameisPY In many ways. The way we eat, talk, sing, dance, and express ourselves. When in Europe, you all come frome distinct immigrant backgrounds. We didn't immigrate to America, we built America.
@@ConvosXpodcast we are indeed different.
Agreed!
Where was this in a busy city location or a quiet spot by herself after 1am? This matters 👀, so distance don’t want man to approach 👀, black men peep this. First right of rejection 🤔. Wonder why black men first to leave. So much the black men ain’t doing right 🤔?.
This is exactly what I meant by y’all leave the chat real quick when it comes to protecting BW, your comment is giving ‘what was she wearing’ energy, it shouldn’t matter where I was, the fact that I felt uncomfortable should be what you concentrate on if protecting BW truly mattered to you and your defensiveness just proves most of our points to be true, you’re listening to defend not to understand, but thank for listening though😁
@@rufaroo , the question is, in reality, do BW want to be protected?
@@ConvosXpodcast do white and Asian women think this when they are out on the town ? How do you expect men to approach? Make it make sense.
@@matgamer5916 Many do. Please ask them and find out.
@@Nupeoplemagazine yeah I do ask, they politely turn the men down and go along with their day, that’s why I asked the for the surroundings, if it’s a spot where she ain’t going to be safe then men should leave it.
Rufaro uyo usatinyaudze nenyaya dzenyu Muri Kumba kwezvimbwa sungata😂😂😂
Chikuru mawedzera maListens😂mazviita🤗
Glad you could understand that @rufaroo. tried to 'translate' it but failed.
Would love to hear the different culture dynamics between Zimbabwe and Germany from Rufaro since she's Zimbabwean herself🇿🇼
She is a podcast host here where she shares a lot about her opinions. youtube.com/@theshesessions?si=Qlhn3pRhg2_sl3cQ
@@ConvosXpodcast vielen dank!