So even if she talks to me about being sad or happy with the new guy, I should act like a "friend" and let her talk to me about him? Will this not put me in the friendzone??
The friend zone does not exist. Attraction is not a choice. If she was attracted to you in the past, then she is likely still attracted to you. It's just that the attraction is blocked by the history between the two of you.
We still communicating each other we have intimate conversation sometimes but sometimes he's cold and he told me that it's ok that we are talking but not the same way as we use to be before what is that???
I can understand the concern about the friend zone, especially, since many people's exes even say things like "let's just be friends." However, unless you have gone through some sort of massive physical or personality change, where you are completely unrecognizable to the person that he fell in love with, then you are not "just a friend." In the 9 years, I've been doing this, I have not heard of a single person who was legitimately just a platonic friend. Their ex may have said things, but if you look beyond the words, there is something more complicated emotionally happening.
@@ClayAndrews weirdly enough, my ex was still friends with one of her ex. he is her long distance personnal trainer, married and lives in another state (completely professional) this is still weird nonetheless they're still "friends".
So essentially if you and your ex are not only on speaking terms but have great conversations, tease each other all the time, still trust each other, etc., there's no way in hell a relationship won't form again?
Geez, I gained about 15 pounds since I last saw my ex 7 yrs ago. He’s interacted with me over the phone, and doesn’t know what I look like now. I’m trying to lose all the weight I’ve gained but I’m really not having any success with it. As I’m still trying to lose this weight on my own, I am waiting to have enough money to spend on a weight loss program. Sad to wait until then..
The reason why I have not gotten back with any of my ex isn’t because they didn’t come back but because I move on with someone better fitted for me. Each time is an upgrade
my ex put me in the friend zone but now she reaching me out so much because we are in the same class she comes to my room very often she eat food which i cooked i don't know when she was my girlfriend when she went out with her friend she never video call me now when she bored with her friends she video call me i am little confused on video call she asked me so many times how do you feel about me you like to see me such kind of things i replied yes she become happy but don't know she want to hold all power i am confused beacuse one time it happened in my room she said the same things when i replid she said we are only friend
My ex used to keep friendships with all of his exes. Now he also wants to keep friendship with me. He convinced me to keep friendship, not just a way to talk to ease the break up (he said "I like you, want to do walkings with me, but just take the romantic things out and enjoy each other's company, is that ok". I didn't accept that offer (we broke up 6 weeks ago), and after 40 days of NC (with improving myself), I initiated contact, asked for some specific help, asked for some personal thing, he still answered very friendly. I am still worrying that he just put me in friend zone. What do you think?
Hi Clay, i've being friends with my ex for almost 2 years after the break up. In the last few months i decided that i want to get back with her because i saw positive changes, but i think that she only sees me as a friend. Do i have a chance? We have quality time together, speak every day and she shows some of the signals like strong emotional reactions and trying to make me jealous.
I left my boyfriend a three and a half years on March 18th 2020 I left for a stupid reason because I wanted to get married and he didn't we had a wonderful relationship there was no screaming no yelling no fighting we always sat down talked communicated and compromised on everything and now I want him back and he says that we can be friends we still talk we still have each other pictures in our phones and on our walls in our rooms and he still texts me good morning baby I love you goodnight baby I love you we hang out once in awhile and I asked him if he would consider dating me again and he said not right now but he does not hate me and he said to my face I love you
I watch these "ex" videos but we never had any title. We went on a couple of dates then started having sex almost everyday for 2 weeks. I admitted I was falling in love and his response was "thank you for sharing that with me but I don't feel the same way." So I left that very moment and told him to never contact me again. And he hasn't. I miss him very much. Do you think these videos may apply?
My ex says that she was dealing with emotions from her past and felt as though we rushed into this relationship without her completely healing from her past. She also said that she never felt secure during our relationship. She still wants to be friends & I am still friends with her but I want her back more than anything. How do I get her back?
Thank you for video clay this helps a lot your such a angel to us 😍 😅 My ex and I still remains friends after the break up becoz we both believe that the relationship we had was special we both love and respect each other eventhough it's ldr very practical reason. Weather he will comeback to me or not i will be fine I Loss a boyfriend but a gain a ver special friend ❤️ and he will forever had a special spot in my heart
You're welcome, Chatz, and we truly appreciate your support in our channel. It's totally fine to be friends with our ex. There are couples who had broken up that ended as good friends and even maintained a healthy friendly relationship. :-)
Sometimes, we may not know the details of why the emotional disconnection happened. But if you improve yourself by cultivating relational skills, you will be able to lower your ex's wall and in time, would be able to have him open up to you on those blocks. These are skills that are crucial in getting a relationship back. If you are interested, I can send you more details on this.
My situation is that we had sex. She was not my girlfriend, but I’m trying to be friends with benefits with her because we had a big falling out. Can I get sex again?
Your ex will likely never see you as a friend, thus, you were never in the friend zone to begin with. With that in mind, No Contact, can help to reduce your ex's emotional resistance to interacting with you. And, if you do Active No Contact, instead of Passive No Contact, you'll be making a very strong case for why he should consider giving you another chance. If he is taking you for granted, it probably means that you are over-invested in his response to you.
yo clay me and my ex broke up a year ago and we recently started talking and that connection is still there but she said we should be friends i would like to see if we could work out building a stronger connection n get back together but she wanna be friends
I just don't understand why an ex (my ex) would talk with me about all the times he dates or "falls in love" with someone. To be honest, i feel that i understand even less as times go by and i don't know in what to believe anymore. Me and my ex had a really strong connection, but we dated just for around 2 months and we kind of kept being friends.. but now, he tells me everytime he finds someone new... like... WTF? i'm lost
Hey AutomneBell, I understand that it might sound a bit confusing. but it seems like your ex can connect with you well especially that he is comfortable sharing some information with you about himself.
Hey Clay, my ex girlfriend ended up with me and after a few weeks I knew she was in a new relationship. Unfortunately I had the idea of accessing her social networks and discovered everything. Since then she has blocked me. At Christmas I knew she had broken off her relationship with the other boy and I decided to surprise her. I sent a stranger to give her a present at her door. From there we keep the contact by sms and last week we went to have a coffee to clarify things. I still like her, but she just wants to be friends, because I betrayed her confidence by accessing her social networks. What do I do?
You and her will never be "friends" in the platonic sense. She just doesn't know exactly how she feels about you right now, so she needs a reason to tell herself about why she is hanging out with you. "Friends" is that reason. Don't worry about the friend zone, and focus on the emotional connection between you and her right now.
@@ClayAndrews Hey Clay! I still talking with my ex and one of these days we slept together.. but she said that just see me as a close friend.. doesn't love me... how can i change her mind?
My ex dumped me 5 months ago. Said I was a wonderful person but he wanted to dedicate 100% of his time and energy on his kids and that he didn't feel that was fair to me. He then told a friend that the issue was because I don't have kids of my own I am not a suitable mother figure. We have remained friends and have intimate conversations but never about our relationship. Does he just see me as emotional support with no future or could he still reconsider a reconciliation?
He saw something you either said or did, which indicated to him that you're not mother material. It may be false, but that is how he perceived you (that is, if the friend is telling the truth). Don't worry. A real man would have told you the truth and if you desire to be a mom, and you are not, you'll likely have old habits, that are not motherly...which is normal. Don't think too much of it. You want a man who can be honest with you. If he were really interested, then he'd realize that without children, certain experiences you simply will not have under your belt...so where is his understanding? But, if you know what behavior he's referring to, look into it...within yourself. If not, next him. But if anything you do...don't chase him. He could be Mr. Wrong.
Hey Clay.! I decided to do Nc with my ex as he said he don't want to be in Relationship or in love but yet he stil want me in his life as his friend. I don't know if he love me and feel the same like what I felt for him but his action towarde shown it's different. He do everything to make me happy, be there for me when I need him but he never admit it as he told me love always screw beautiful things. I decided not to contact him anymore when I find out he stil keeping in touch with the girl he had sex with but he told me that girl just a friend now to him but my instinct strongly said it the other way round that's they not just a friend. I decided to cut him off from my life as I couldn't take it anymore he so secretive and tell me let just be friend but I don't want to be his friend as its too much and hurt for me. He sent me messages with kiss and heart but I never reply because he intiated to be in a Friend zone with me but same time he didn't help me with it. If he just could tell me that he never love me and ask me to forget him then I'll just straight go away but he told me why should he do that ! Im hardly trust him with the girl he hv slept with before that he just said as friend but he in touch with each other day by day and I told him I can't take it anymore, it's better me the one leaving for the sake of everyone happiness but he told me that girl not gonna Hv him and I'm gonna lose him for nothing if I leavimg him because of the idea of the girl he hv been slept with.. What should I do and your advice? Should I just forget him? I love him but I can't take the idea that he and the girl just friend..i don't trust him in that part😌
There is a lot going on here, I hardly know where to start. But I would recommend that you ask yourself if you want to actually be in a relationship with a man like this? Do you think he would be a good, reliable, and supportive husband and father? If that is something you are interested in, then that is the kind of filter you should have when choosing men.
Hi Clay, My ex and I when we were together did a long distance relationship. We broke up about 2 months ago but we talk at times. I'm afraid that the distance between us will make it easier for him to move from what we had. He told that he doesn't know what he wants but at the same time he still has love for me. I just want to know how to still be in his life even though he and I dont visit as much anymore.
The fact that you both are still communicating, it means you are still a part of his life. Just focus on having a quality interaction using the Advanced Relational Skills that we teach. Getting back together is the end result of how you are investing yourself in the dynamics regardless of the label.
So even if she talks to me about being sad or happy with the new guy, I should act like a "friend" and let her talk to me about him? Will this not put me in the friendzone??
The friend zone does not exist. Attraction is not a choice. If she was attracted to you in the past, then she is likely still attracted to you. It's just that the attraction is blocked by the history between the two of you.
Thank you for your reply!!
Mrnt G Tell her not to talk about him and try to re seduce her subtly
We still communicating each other we have intimate conversation sometimes but sometimes he's cold and he told me that it's ok that we are talking but not the same way as we use to be before what is that???
Wouldn’t being friends with an ex be a problem since they still get most of the benefits of having you... without actually having you?
Clay, thank you for all the positivity! I worried about being in "the friend zone" ...
I can understand the concern about the friend zone, especially, since many people's exes even say things like "let's just be friends."
However, unless you have gone through some sort of massive physical or personality change, where you are completely unrecognizable to the person that he fell in love with, then you are not "just a friend."
In the 9 years, I've been doing this, I have not heard of a single person who was legitimately just a platonic friend. Their ex may have said things, but if you look beyond the words, there is something more complicated emotionally happening.
@@ClayAndrews weirdly enough, my ex was still friends with one of her ex. he is her long distance personnal trainer, married and lives in another state (completely professional) this is still weird nonetheless they're still "friends".
So essentially if you and your ex are not only on speaking terms but have great conversations, tease each other all the time, still trust each other, etc., there's no way in hell a relationship won't form again?
This is just one factor. There are reasons a relationship won't form again. For example, if you cheated and cheating is a dealbreaker for your ex.
Geez, I gained about 15 pounds since I last saw my ex 7 yrs ago. He’s interacted with me over the phone, and doesn’t know what I look like now. I’m trying to lose all the weight I’ve gained but I’m really not having any success with it. As I’m still trying to lose this weight on my own, I am waiting to have enough money to spend on a weight loss program. Sad to wait until then..
The reason why I have not gotten back with any of my ex isn’t because they didn’t come back but because I move on with someone better fitted for me. Each time is an upgrade
my ex put me in the friend zone but now she reaching me out so much because we are in the same class she comes to my room very often she eat food which i cooked i don't know when she was my girlfriend when she went out with her friend she never video call me now when she bored with her friends she video call me i am little confused on video call she asked me so many times how do you feel about me you like to see me such kind of things i replied yes she become happy but don't know she want to hold all power i am confused beacuse one time it happened in my room she said the same things when i replid she said we are only friend
So......if im always attractive......wont tgeir rebound be a constant threat?? At which point why bother?
My ex used to keep friendships with all of his exes. Now he also wants to keep friendship with me. He convinced me to keep friendship, not just a way to talk to ease the break up (he said "I like you, want to do walkings with me, but just take the romantic things out and enjoy each other's company, is that ok". I didn't accept that offer (we broke up 6 weeks ago), and after 40 days of NC (with improving myself), I initiated contact, asked for some specific help, asked for some personal thing, he still answered very friendly. I am still worrying that he just put me in friend zone. What do you think?
Thnx i was really conflicted! You and Geoffrey and crappychildhoodfairy are the best
It still cant hurt to work out and get the lean body again you had when you first met her, right? I put on about 15 kg during the relationship
If it is for your personal well-being and health, why not go for it. Do things because it makes you happy and healthy. :-)
Hi Clay, i've being friends with my ex for almost 2 years after the break up. In the last few months i decided that i want to get back with her because i saw positive changes, but i think that she only sees me as a friend. Do i have a chance? We have quality time together, speak every day and she shows some of the signals like strong emotional reactions and trying to make me jealous.
I left my boyfriend a three and a half years on March 18th 2020 I left for a stupid reason because I wanted to get married and he didn't we had a wonderful relationship there was no screaming no yelling no fighting we always sat down talked communicated and compromised on everything and now I want him back and he says that we can be friends we still talk we still have each other pictures in our phones and on our walls in our rooms and he still texts me good morning baby I love you goodnight baby I love you we hang out once in awhile and I asked him if he would consider dating me again and he said not right now but he does not hate me and he said to my face I love you
I watch these "ex" videos but we never had any title. We went on a couple of dates then started having sex almost everyday for 2 weeks. I admitted I was falling in love and his response was "thank you for sharing that with me but I don't feel the same way." So I left that very moment and told him to never contact me again. And he hasn't. I miss him very much. Do you think these videos may apply?
Boy!, I'm glad I don't deal with situations like this anymore. I got older, uglier and wiser.
Of course u have to “reattract”. It’s not about the physical for women. It’s about a man’s behavior
My ex says that she was dealing with emotions from her past and felt as though we rushed into this relationship without her completely healing from her past. She also said that she never felt secure during our relationship. She still wants to be friends & I am still friends with her but I want her back more than anything. How do I get her back?
Thank you for video clay this helps a lot your such a angel to us 😍 😅
My ex and I still remains friends after the break up becoz we both believe that the relationship we had was special we both love and respect each other eventhough it's ldr very practical reason. Weather he will comeback to me or not i will be fine I Loss a boyfriend but a gain a ver special friend ❤️ and he will forever had a special spot in my heart
You're welcome, Chatz, and we truly appreciate your support in our channel. It's totally fine to be friends with our ex. There are couples who had broken up that ended as good friends and even maintained a healthy friendly relationship. :-)
Im not sure how to build quality interactions when I don't know what the block is..
Sometimes, we may not know the details of why the emotional disconnection happened. But if you improve yourself by cultivating relational skills, you will be able to lower your ex's wall and in time, would be able to have him open up to you on those blocks. These are skills that are crucial in getting a relationship back. If you are interested, I can send you more details on this.
@@ClayAndrews Thanks for replying! I binge watch your videos almost every morning 😀 I would love to learn more details on this
My situation is that we had sex. She was not my girlfriend, but I’m trying to be friends with benefits with her because we had a big falling out. Can I get sex again?
Does doing "no contact" help with getting out of the dreaded "friend zone" so they don't take you for granted?
Your ex will likely never see you as a friend, thus, you were never in the friend zone to begin with. With that in mind, No Contact, can help to reduce your ex's emotional resistance to interacting with you. And, if you do Active No Contact, instead of Passive No Contact, you'll be making a very strong case for why he should consider giving you another chance.
If he is taking you for granted, it probably means that you are over-invested in his response to you.
What did happen with you?
I am not worried but he has a crush on someone else -sooo yeah
yo clay me and my ex broke up a year ago and we recently started talking and that connection is still there but she said we should be friends i would like to see if we could work out building a stronger connection n get back together but she wanna be friends
I just don't understand why an ex (my ex) would talk with me about all the times he dates or "falls in love" with someone. To be honest, i feel that i understand even less as times go by and i don't know in what to believe anymore. Me and my ex had a really strong connection, but we dated just for around 2 months and we kind of kept being friends.. but now, he tells me everytime he finds someone new... like... WTF? i'm lost
Hey AutomneBell, I understand that it might sound a bit confusing. but it seems like your ex can connect with you well especially that he is comfortable sharing some information with you about himself.
Hey Clay, my ex girlfriend ended up with me and after a few weeks I knew she was in a new relationship. Unfortunately I had the idea of accessing her social networks and discovered everything. Since then she has blocked me. At Christmas I knew she had broken off her relationship with the other boy and I decided to surprise her. I sent a stranger to give her a present at her door. From there we keep the contact by sms and last week we went to have a coffee to clarify things. I still like her, but she just wants to be friends, because I betrayed her confidence by accessing her social networks. What do I do?
You and her will never be "friends" in the platonic sense. She just doesn't know exactly how she feels about you right now, so she needs a reason to tell herself about why she is hanging out with you. "Friends" is that reason. Don't worry about the friend zone, and focus on the emotional connection between you and her right now.
@@ClayAndrews ty... Keep your awesome work! 🙏🙌
Thank you, Danny. :-)
@@ClayAndrews Hey Clay!
I still talking with my ex and one of these days we slept together.. but she said that just see me as a close friend.. doesn't love me... how can i change her mind?
My ex dumped me 5 months ago. Said I was a wonderful person but he wanted to dedicate 100% of his time and energy on his kids and that he didn't feel that was fair to me. He then told a friend that the issue was because I don't have kids of my own I am not a suitable mother figure. We have remained friends and have intimate conversations but never about our relationship. Does he just see me as emotional support with no future or could he still reconsider a reconciliation?
He saw something you either said or did, which indicated to him that you're not mother material. It may be false, but that is how he perceived you (that is, if the friend is telling the truth). Don't worry. A real man would have told you the truth and if you desire to be a mom, and you are not, you'll likely have old habits, that are not motherly...which is normal. Don't think too much of it. You want a man who can be honest with you.
If he were really interested, then he'd realize that without children, certain experiences you simply will not have under your belt...so where is his understanding? But, if you know what behavior he's referring to, look into it...within yourself. If not, next him. But if anything you do...don't chase him. He could be Mr. Wrong.
throttling😐woodchipper! 🤗😂😉
Hey Clay.!
I decided to do Nc with my ex as he said he don't want to be in Relationship or in love but yet he stil want me in his life as his friend. I don't know if he love me and feel the same like what I felt for him but his action towarde shown it's different. He do everything to make me happy, be there for me when I need him but he never admit it as he told me love always screw beautiful things. I decided not to contact him anymore when I find out he stil keeping in touch with the girl he had sex with but he told me that girl just a friend now to him but my instinct strongly said it the other way round that's they not just a friend. I decided to cut him off from my life as I couldn't take it anymore he so secretive and tell me let just be friend but I don't want to be his friend as its too much and hurt for me. He sent me messages with kiss and heart but I never reply because he intiated to be in a Friend zone with me but same time he didn't help me with it. If he just could tell me that he never love me and ask me to forget him then I'll just straight go away but he told me why should he do that ! Im hardly trust him with the girl he hv slept with before that he just said as friend but he in touch with each other day by day and I told him I can't take it anymore, it's better me the one leaving for the sake of everyone happiness but he told me that girl not gonna Hv him and I'm gonna lose him for nothing if I leavimg him because of the idea of the girl he hv been slept with.. What should I do and your advice? Should I just forget him? I love him but I can't take the idea that he and the girl just friend..i don't trust him in that part😌
There is a lot going on here, I hardly know where to start. But I would recommend that you ask yourself if you want to actually be in a relationship with a man like this? Do you think he would be a good, reliable, and supportive husband and father? If that is something you are interested in, then that is the kind of filter you should have when choosing men.
Thanks you Clay. Really appreciate and keep your Awesome work! 😊
Hi Clay,
My ex and I when we were together did a long distance relationship. We broke up about 2 months ago but we talk at times. I'm afraid that the distance between us will make it easier for him to move from what we had. He told that he doesn't know what he wants but at the same time he still has love for me. I just want to know how to still be in his life even though he and I dont visit as much anymore.
The fact that you both are still communicating, it means you are still a part of his life. Just focus on having a quality interaction using the Advanced Relational Skills that we teach. Getting back together is the end result of how you are investing yourself in the dynamics regardless of the label.
@@ClayAndrews This gives me hope as I'm in a similar situation.
Thanks clay.
What if it was a situationship @ClayAndrews