I Have a Confession to Make...

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  • Опубликовано: 25 ноя 2024

Комментарии • 55 тыс.

  • @mercscar4277
    @mercscar4277 4 года назад +2355

    "They're all expired"
    To be fair, there's probably enough preservatives in those things to mummify a small dog.

    • @bitter-bit
      @bitter-bit 4 года назад +60

      This is an underrated top level comment.

    • @LemonsOnTheFloor
      @LemonsOnTheFloor 4 года назад +32

      HELP ME WHY IS THIS SO FUNNY

    • @theo.6810
      @theo.6810 4 года назад +19

      I mean technically i think it could mummify ME my 5'2 self instantly persevered FOR 200 YEARS.

    • @saladfish5
      @saladfish5 4 года назад +18

      That is _scarily_ specific.
      But surprisingly, I wouldn’t doubt it.

    • @soontobejamez4422
      @soontobejamez4422 4 года назад +2

      Thanks for the idea

  • @bloodyvalentine8350
    @bloodyvalentine8350 4 года назад +2842

    This aged terribly within three days...
    Please help the cat is laying next to me and I can't get up in fear she'll be sad

    • @natetv1494
      @natetv1494 4 года назад +39

      Yeah😂 I was expecting it to have the lifespan of a box of poptarts.. it wouldn’t go bad😂😂😂

    • @Paul20661
      @Paul20661 4 года назад +8

      Haha yeah :(

    • @ChaseMC215
      @ChaseMC215 4 года назад +6

      It wasn't the Pop Tarts that sent him to the hospital. It was his stomach

    • @stealthxg5045
      @stealthxg5045 4 года назад +23

      @@ChaseMC215 Guess where Pop Tarts go? Your stomach.

    • @cmmuse
      @cmmuse 4 года назад +21

      @@stealthxg5045 what? You’re telling me we don’t have a separate stomach specifically built into the delicate human body, to store pop tarts? Evolution, wtf?

  • @philaug974
    @philaug974 4 года назад +5006

    Mark to Alex: "I have been... dishonest about my diet"
    Alex seeing this before preparing his next training: *So you have chosen death*

    • @cucco4e808
      @cucco4e808 4 года назад +36

      Basically lol

    • @sanddry738
      @sanddry738 4 года назад +138

      *GOD’S FITNESS TEST I N T E N S I F I E S*

    • @Liezaac
      @Liezaac 4 года назад +6

      yey i gave it 666 likes

    • @philaug974
      @philaug974 4 года назад +17

      @@Liezaac you absolute madlad

    • @friendcomputer2293
      @friendcomputer2293 4 года назад +14

      By burpees.

  • @wolfgameso.o9997
    @wolfgameso.o9997 3 года назад +8610

    other youtubers apology videos: "i didnt know i was being racist im sorry.."
    Markiplier: "i ate too many poptarts im sorry.."

    • @Qwerty-uh6up
      @Qwerty-uh6up 2 года назад +26

      Hes gonna get faaaaatttttttt bruh

    • @rion7088
      @rion7088 2 года назад +123

      For someone who portrays himself as an a-hole, that actually means a lot.

    • @weisswelle
      @weisswelle 2 года назад +59

      that's what happens when you are not a racist person at all

    • @theothenbrabbit998
      @theothenbrabbit998 2 года назад +55

      I mean, there isn't really much mark could do that would need an apology

    • @231thorium
      @231thorium 2 года назад +25

      @@Qwerty-uh6up nah hes very muscular

  • @acutabovetherestIX
    @acutabovetherestIX 4 года назад +4877

    November 2019: Don’t tell Amy
    November 2020: Don’t tell Alex

  • @nathangraves5266
    @nathangraves5266 4 года назад +8864

    The longer Mark's hair gets, the stronger his chaotic energy grows.

    • @gwinnellheald8592
      @gwinnellheald8592 4 года назад +165

      That is frighteningly accurate

    • @emmylouispog
      @emmylouispog 4 года назад +127

      It’s true long hair is the gateway to the infinity of chaos that lies within us all

    • @connorjohnson8590
      @connorjohnson8590 4 года назад +19

      He's like a chaos Sampson

    • @Tulip_bip
      @Tulip_bip 4 года назад +23

      wut abt when he had like almost no hair but was *insanely* chaotic?

    • @Sapphirelily
      @Sapphirelily 4 года назад +19

      So he can floof his hair for power again right??

  • @djredduck27
    @djredduck27 4 года назад +11900

    unus annus: "dont tell amy!"
    markiplier: "dont tell alex!"

    • @thanalincoln
      @thanalincoln 4 года назад +129

      @Yuii ._.Panther aight sry get out

    • @devv1291
      @devv1291 4 года назад +35

      @Yuii ._.Panther cool dude, but I don't remember asking

    • @s3rvivor
      @s3rvivor 4 года назад +139

      @The Panda claw a dear friend.

    • @logan7lion644
      @logan7lion644 4 года назад

      Ima replays this its will over 1.5k like

    • @justamanda8000
      @justamanda8000 4 года назад +43

      @The Panda claw Boi they were the best duo known to man

  • @stidzy0
    @stidzy0 3 года назад +4104

    The look of complete and utter terror on Mark's face when he hears Amy's car is hilarious

    • @AngelWingsYT
      @AngelWingsYT 2 года назад +183

      amy yelling at him in the bg sounds like a mom yelling at their child to not do anything stupid

    • @magic_club250
      @magic_club250 2 года назад +9

      When is that?

    • @randommusicstuff6029
      @randommusicstuff6029 2 года назад +26

      @@magic_club250 around 26:12

    • @stidzy0
      @stidzy0 2 года назад +8

      @@magic_club250 26:14

    • @Skootanimates
      @Skootanimates 2 года назад +22

      @@AngelWingsYT he is the child lol

  • @NoiseDay
    @NoiseDay 4 года назад +3223

    "Don't tell Amy"
    Amy: lives here and has known about everything the whole time

    • @magicaldontpostmuch3256
      @magicaldontpostmuch3256 4 года назад +24

      And probably helped the editor

    • @Beanpolr
      @Beanpolr 4 года назад +18

      @Unus Annus Back, horrific demon!

    • @slackolantern
      @slackolantern 4 года назад +22

      @F Ù Ć Ķ • М È ! ! ! • I WĄNT ŞĘX • OPÉN MY CANÁL ! You're not Rita! Where's our old Unus Annus Spam bot? You're just as bad as the guy pretending to be Unus Annus! Are you going to reupload all her nonsensical emoticons?

    • @Cipher_Paul
      @Cipher_Paul 4 года назад +2

      What?! Do Amy and Mark and Henry and Chica really live together?
      But I thought Mark lived with Ethan!
      They even made Chica her own dog house, so why would she be living with Amy?

    • @moon-ww6qt
      @moon-ww6qt 4 года назад +4

      @@Cipher_Paul all i know is mark and amy love together because im pretty sure they're dating(?) and ethan lives with his girlfriend as well

  • @pastelrainbowsd5574
    @pastelrainbowsd5574 4 года назад +3523

    Mark: “I feel ...... bad...like physically”
    Marks guts: you have no idea

  • @androgynous_artist
    @androgynous_artist 4 года назад +989

    Jesus Christ someone just give this man a brand deal please for his own sanity

    • @omni8568
      @omni8568 4 года назад +11

      @Aaviskar Parasor I’ve been on the decline since I was 7 😂😂😂

    • @theunspeakablecraft1446
      @theunspeakablecraft1446 4 года назад +2

      Yes

    • @Fckwitt
      @Fckwitt 4 года назад

      I wish I could

    • @chunta957
      @chunta957 4 года назад +1

      No, we need to see how far we can get.

    • @JoeEmber776
      @JoeEmber776 4 года назад +1

      if he gets a brand deal he'll just find something else to lose his sanity over...

  • @SgtShadowCow
    @SgtShadowCow 2 года назад +1897

    Markiplier: "Sponsor me or else!"
    Mark: "im on a diet i cant eat these, my trainer is going to kill me"
    Also Mark: *continues to eat expired pop tarts*

    • @yourgullible1556
      @yourgullible1556 2 года назад +5

      i dont think poptarts like actually expire

    • @nathan9901
      @nathan9901 2 года назад +19

      @@yourgullible1556 nah they deffo do cuz there's an expiration date

    • @rosaparks8688
      @rosaparks8688 Год назад +2

      @@nathan9901 They need one. I don’t think the expiration dates are accurate and they don’t really change after.

    • @nathan9901
      @nathan9901 Год назад

      @@rosaparks8688 what a stupid fucking thing to claim everything expires. If it didn't expire they'd milk tf out of that in advertising

    • @rosaparks8688
      @rosaparks8688 Год назад +9

      @@nathan9901 Have you had pop-tarts past their expiration date? I never thought I’d be asking this question, but they take a way longer time to expire than the packaging says they do. They’re like the canned goods of snacks. 😂

  • @jonathansaloman1595
    @jonathansaloman1595 4 года назад +2835

    The fact that Mark literally complained about Pop Tarts for over 30 minutes makes me wonder how much the Unus Annus aftermath has taken a toll on him...

    • @jube8835
      @jube8835 4 года назад +19

      The amount of bots here is insane

    • @kelsie_wilson11
      @kelsie_wilson11 4 года назад +2

      @Jube IKR LOL

    • @CopperDragonGamr
      @CopperDragonGamr 4 года назад +2

      @F Ù C Ķ • М E ! ! ! • I WĀNT ŞEX • OPÉN MY ĆANÁL ! I opened the replies and just see your username I couldn't stop laughing for the next 3 minutes 😂

    • @alnimri
      @alnimri 4 года назад +12

      Not sure if it's just me, but Mark wears white mainly in his videos and Ethan wears Black. Its like second nature for them at this point. A little concerning how it probably affected their psychology.

    • @nicolemaylining
      @nicolemaylining 4 года назад

      @Cal bro stop imagine tricking people for views lmao

  • @juliadarling8868
    @juliadarling8868 4 года назад +5049

    Something tells me this is why he's in the hospital right now.

    • @nox7638
      @nox7638 4 года назад +31

      same

    • @cinthiaalbers4076
      @cinthiaalbers4076 4 года назад +14

      He is acetally

    • @mirroughs7729
      @mirroughs7729 4 года назад +118

      I mean that many pop-tarts would be a trip to the ivory throne, and the fact that they're expired is worse.

    • @bloodangel7305
      @bloodangel7305 4 года назад +7

      Probably

    • @natetv1494
      @natetv1494 4 года назад +3

      😂imagine that

  • @dogemcdogeface7901
    @dogemcdogeface7901 4 года назад +8855

    “There’s nothing wrong eating this much poptarts right?”
    Hospital : yeah, about that..

    • @disgustingjr3070
      @disgustingjr3070 4 года назад +31

      yeaaaaah

    • @lunariousmoon
      @lunariousmoon 4 года назад +20

      This joke came in to very well

    • @mrgrimm335
      @mrgrimm335 4 года назад +12

      Was thinking the same thing XD

    • @thirestdog9616
      @thirestdog9616 4 года назад +29

      ya know, this is probably why u stop eating them when u see its expired and not just fuck it

    • @NinjaLoveDomo24
      @NinjaLoveDomo24 4 года назад

      @Jayden Paulk same

  • @Firestar4041
    @Firestar4041 2 года назад +668

    "Ate 16,000 calories worth of poptarts..."
    Alex: " . . . " **loads burpie gun, with malicious intent**

  • @irustyrobot529
    @irustyrobot529 4 года назад +9205

    me realizing Mark's filming by himself: "...Oh god he's unsupervised"

    • @zombieunicorns2567
      @zombieunicorns2567 4 года назад +64

      @I Am KevinBB x2 you've done this on multiple comments it's getting annoying.

    • @DiegoGonzalez-oe5tz
      @DiegoGonzalez-oe5tz 4 года назад +6

      @I Am KevinBB x2 ok

    • @MalemetaAnimations
      @MalemetaAnimations 4 года назад +103

      When Mark is unsupervised the world weeps

    • @Mikiluvsu
      @Mikiluvsu 4 года назад +6

      💀💀💀

    • @mr21guy9
      @mr21guy9 4 года назад +7

      @I Am KevinBB x2 just stop it was never funny and I never will be

  • @tjtiffles
    @tjtiffles 3 года назад +10194

    Mark trying to cancel all the food companies that won’t sponsor him is actually the best

    • @nevaeh9125
      @nevaeh9125 3 года назад +295

      He's like the opposite of a food review channel cuz he shits on the companies and their products..
      But then he actually gives a serious review on the product at the same time

    • @jordanogplayer5247
      @jordanogplayer5247 3 года назад +25

      @@nevaeh9125 Ik 😭

    • @nevaeh9125
      @nevaeh9125 3 года назад +11

      @Morec no, 'cancel' was the correct way

    • @Bit_Froggr
      @Bit_Froggr 3 года назад +17

      Mark has to be sponsored by sustenance just in general.

    • @GamingWithHajimemes
      @GamingWithHajimemes 3 года назад +14

      If he trips on concrete he could sue the world... AND WIN-

  • @ryleh_horror1683
    @ryleh_horror1683 4 года назад +2090

    Mark: eats a bunch of expired poptarts
    His Intestines: " And I took that personally"

  • @noelledenisematias8400
    @noelledenisematias8400 2 года назад +514

    Mark's face when he notices that Amy arrived was priceless 😂

  • @alexdean9046
    @alexdean9046 4 года назад +1592

    This video can be summed up as mark being scared of Alex, blaming Evan, and being mad at pop tarts for 30 minutes

    • @decyphxr8329
      @decyphxr8329 4 года назад

      Tap on a clip to paste it in the text box.

    • @becauseican5821
      @becauseican5821 4 года назад +2

      @Cal why are you copying this on every comment? Just make an og comment.

    • @oceanrose6626
      @oceanrose6626 4 года назад

      Must be hard

    • @bernainmolina7481
      @bernainmolina7481 4 года назад

      Yea but it's TRUE those poptarts really suck and have poor health quality

    • @Toby-vm5gq
      @Toby-vm5gq 4 года назад

      ft. hiding poptarts from ethan's allergy

  • @orozcoj0509able
    @orozcoj0509able 4 года назад +2027

    "Imma eat it, but I dont trust it"
    *goes to hospital*

  • @Snorlax151
    @Snorlax151 4 года назад +3410

    Mark and Ethan: *deletes Unus Annus*
    Ethan: *takes the aftermath well*
    Mark: *stress eats poptarts*

    • @taylorjensen3558
      @taylorjensen3558 4 года назад

      Accurate lol

    • @brookiemocookie2216
      @brookiemocookie2216 4 года назад +1

      @MASLIN BRUNER wow dark

    • @creamsupreme8630
      @creamsupreme8630 4 года назад

      @-MøønlightSun- Unus* and Memento*

    • @blues_sandwich4303
      @blues_sandwich4303 4 года назад +1

      @-MøønlightSun- my parents and me any time I mention unus Annus: them “and that’s done now?” Me “yup” them “can we even talk about it now” me *explains the whole idea of unus annus again* them “you know quite a bit about this”

    • @Lil_Lunar69
      @Lil_Lunar69 4 года назад

      Welll future me says other way around

  • @problybeetlejuice7460
    @problybeetlejuice7460 3 года назад +659

    I can’t 😂
    *amy gets home*
    Mark: *panicked pop tart hiding*

  • @iamdreadbread2983
    @iamdreadbread2983 4 года назад +4470

    Markiplier's whole channel is just him slowly but surely slipping into insanity.

    • @hmmuhh330
      @hmmuhh330 4 года назад +155

      Now that Unus Annus is gone, he has nowhere else to hide his insanity...

    • @bluevenus9803
      @bluevenus9803 4 года назад +23

      You’re saying he hasn’t already? How many more steps do we have until he gets there?

    • @Cornoriian
      @Cornoriian 4 года назад +19

      I feel like it started with "getting over it". It has been accelerating exponentially since then...

    • @dr.horror9046
      @dr.horror9046 4 года назад +2

      I thought that was unus anus

    • @zedto8139
      @zedto8139 4 года назад +4

      they shouldn't have deleted [deleted channel]

  • @Itoldajokeonce
    @Itoldajokeonce 4 года назад +3303

    Markiplier: “I will be sane again.”
    Everyone: “Again?”

    • @SwindlerJeff
      @SwindlerJeff 4 года назад +20

      Again.

    • @bludbanka
      @bludbanka 4 года назад +13

      Yep again

    • @abandonedacc420
      @abandonedacc420 4 года назад +37

      since when is mark sane?? did i miss out on something?-

    • @zillasaiyan1m274
      @zillasaiyan1m274 4 года назад +15

      I think he is sain for a bit after he finally finishes a super hard game like getting over it but then his sanity goes away not long after

    • @MindOfGenius
      @MindOfGenius 4 года назад +8

      Markiplier: "I will be sane again."
      Also Mark: 22:49

  • @karleeeriksen5528
    @karleeeriksen5528 4 года назад +4536

    Alternate title: “Mark Hiding His Sins From Amy & Alex’s Holy Peepers”

    • @shanedaley6236
      @shanedaley6236 4 года назад +47

      Why did he hide it from her lol it was fun to watch at the end when she came home and he trys to hide it she pretty much found out

    • @Cricket-ud7vx
      @Cricket-ud7vx 4 года назад +40

      Oh my gods, bro that was my birthday video

    • @norat3691
      @norat3691 4 года назад +33

      "I know this is for a bit but how long will this stay up?"

    • @jetfrancis8345
      @jetfrancis8345 4 года назад +19

      don’t do this to me🥺🥺😂

    • @dbone3356
      @dbone3356 4 года назад +26

      The title of the video with the white long sleeve shirt and black and white background... He (and/or Lixian) knew what he (they) was (were) doing...

  • @PanromanticDragon
    @PanromanticDragon 3 года назад +59

    Just...Marks face as he said “Alex...I think I know why the diet hasn’t been doin as good as it coulda been” is...peak reaction image

  • @goodguybjorn
    @goodguybjorn 4 года назад +1123

    "OH these are expired! Its fine, it's whatever."
    fast forward a couple days
    "so I'm in the hospital, i have a blockage in my intestines"

  • @ONE-vt1fz
    @ONE-vt1fz 4 года назад +5386

    “This was a confession-“
    Skips ahead
    “UNFROZTED BLUEBERRY POPTARTS”

  • @RageCannon-tf3ob
    @RageCannon-tf3ob 4 года назад +9480

    Mark's channel now is just a documentary of a man slowly growing more insane every day. And I love it.

    • @zendakon8299
      @zendakon8299 4 года назад +138

      And ballsy. He wants a sponsorship from everyone it seems

    • @andreabarkala4131
      @andreabarkala4131 4 года назад +83

      @@zendakon8299 and he deserves it

    • @gmork1090
      @gmork1090 4 года назад +45

      @@andreabarkala4131 I want to be my usual cynical self, right? But he does. He really does.

    • @boops9668
      @boops9668 4 года назад +29

      I thought that was unus annus

    • @janieussery7172
      @janieussery7172 4 года назад +7

      I’m here for it.

  • @rylangrimes1239
    @rylangrimes1239 3 года назад +222

    The “DING” while ejecting the pop tarts out of the toaster before they were finished freaking sent me 😂

  • @pileosalt8227
    @pileosalt8227 4 года назад +38539

    I can’t tell if Unus Annus has really taken a toll on Mark’s sanity or if it’s just Mark

  • @tinah5466
    @tinah5466 4 года назад +2732

    Mark: *Confesses that he lied about following his diet*
    Alex: *Sees this video*
    And that was the last time we saw Mark

    • @JustSippingTea
      @JustSippingTea 4 года назад +87

      Bro these are all prerecorded its all a matter of time till the police catch on because he was murdered...
      By burppes

    • @magicaldontpostmuch3256
      @magicaldontpostmuch3256 4 года назад +8

      @@JustSippingTea oh no

    • @anggaadandiputra8450
      @anggaadandiputra8450 4 года назад +15

      @@JustSippingTea oh no not the burppes. Anything but the burppes

    • @stormynight4856
      @stormynight4856 4 года назад +1

      @F Ù Ć Ķ • М È ! ! ! • I WĄNT ŞĘX • OPÉN MY CANÁL ! the heck?

    • @pzzec7042
      @pzzec7042 4 года назад +1

      already 656 likes- now 657 ;) but fr oh no-

  • @SquidLordXD
    @SquidLordXD 4 года назад +4408

    Mark: Amy will kill me
    Amy: **Walks in the house**
    Mark: **Mental breakdown**

    • @gadlygamer
      @gadlygamer 4 года назад +25

      dont you mean a mental
      BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWN

    • @chikebchikeb1813
      @chikebchikeb1813 4 года назад +14

      comment: "999" likes
      me: I AM GOD "taps"
      comment: "1000"

    • @jkublive
      @jkublive 4 года назад +3

      @@gadlygamer I think I’m the only one who caught that lmao

    • @sexypanda1349
      @sexypanda1349 4 года назад +4

      @@jkublive its the part 4 diamond is unbreakable Jojo's Bizzare Adventure intro. MF jojo's reference bro.

    • @cwootwoot9025
      @cwootwoot9025 4 года назад +1

      @@gadlygamer is that A JOJO REFERENCE!?

  • @connormurphy6393
    @connormurphy6393 2 года назад +236

    As someone who works over night at a grocery store to stock shelves, these boxes the ones we order to stock with lol
    Also! The box at 5:00 is likely taped cause the top popped open before they packaged it into the larger box to ship. It happens sometimes cause the poptart boxes are flimsy, we get taped ones every now and then too lmao

    • @troublemonkey1_626
      @troublemonkey1_626 6 месяцев назад +4

      Can confirm these look exactly like the cases we got for pop tarts in grocery stores

  • @Duck-dx4tn
    @Duck-dx4tn 4 года назад +2810

    Alternative title: *Markiplier’s descent into madness after failing to cope with the grief and loss of unus annus*

  • @elizabethsomehow4813
    @elizabethsomehow4813 4 года назад +1988

    Mark: breaking his diet now and then
    Alex: listen here you little..

    • @DigitalCat01
      @DigitalCat01 4 года назад +10

      I mean, it is healthy to have off days when going on a diet.

    • @elizabethsomehow4813
      @elizabethsomehow4813 4 года назад +20

      @@DigitalCat01 I totally agree but it better be not this kind of food or at least not this much, even Mark said that the pop tarts is mostly just sugar

    • @DigitalCat01
      @DigitalCat01 4 года назад +8

      @@elizabethsomehow4813 my mom cheats on her diet with a peppermint shake from Chick-fil-A XD but she normally gets a small. She only gets 1 large every year

    • @PeashooterOriginal
      @PeashooterOriginal 4 года назад +3

      600th Like Your welcome

    • @juggawest
      @juggawest 4 года назад +6

      Today's video I'm in the hospital AGAIN should have had more HOT coffee cocoa or tea.

  • @DetectiveMekova
    @DetectiveMekova 3 года назад +5030

    The quality of Mark's content is 65% Mark being uncontainable and 35% his editor being even more uncontainable.

    • @evictedpelican497
      @evictedpelican497 3 года назад +125

      bloopers include alex stabbing mark with a knife doing burpees with burpees engraved on it while having mark do burpees on top of a clone of him doing burpees

    • @eemeli7093
      @eemeli7093 2 года назад +2

      @@evictedpelican497 epic

    • @mintson8810
      @mintson8810 2 года назад +2

      Sorry for being late to comment

    • @ethansariya
      @ethansariya 2 года назад +1

      @@mintson8810 what

  • @mavisrose1404
    @mavisrose1404 2 года назад +201

    Mark is like a dissapointed mother and an energetic dramatic father. But that's one of the best things about him.

  • @KuroHebi
    @KuroHebi 4 года назад +2870

    Pop Tarts: Are expired.
    Mark: "Cool, I don't care.".
    You will regret this decision in a few days...

  • @aspin_
    @aspin_ 4 года назад +649

    The "Don't Tell Amy" bit has followed us from Unus Annus to Mark's Channel. It shall never die

    • @coinisinorbit
      @coinisinorbit 4 года назад

      @@akworld2.o451 no he didn't

    • @coinisinorbit
      @coinisinorbit 4 года назад

      @@akworld2.o451 I ain't even look but I already know with how many views your getting

    • @user-cb3yn6wq2s
      @user-cb3yn6wq2s 4 года назад +5

      He was also wearing his unus annus socks

  • @flerphaderp7259
    @flerphaderp7259 4 года назад +1422

    *His personal trainer in his video response:* “I’m not mad... Just very, very, very disappointed. You could have told me.”
    OOF 😬

    • @NukelearFallout
      @NukelearFallout 4 года назад +10

      He's like Mark's dad; especially with the way Mark looks up to, and marvels at him.

    • @aliafreya524
      @aliafreya524 4 года назад

      @@adapperwalrus1662 on youtube?

    • @aliafreya524
      @aliafreya524 4 года назад

      @@adapperwalrus1662 oh alright ty

    • @abreathingcoffin8089
      @abreathingcoffin8089 4 года назад

      That made my toes curl

    • @erikaz1590
      @erikaz1590 4 года назад +2

      you're missing about 10 more 'very''s

  • @_lil_lil
    @_lil_lil 2 года назад +122

    "And that's what breakfast has been for most of the world-- well, at least America" might be the most American thing Mark's ever said.

  • @2solidben
    @2solidben 4 года назад +1629

    Mark: “I have a very deep Secret”
    Me: what.
    Mark: pop tarts

    • @sebastianvalmes6797
      @sebastianvalmes6797 4 года назад +11

      😱😱😱🤫🤫🤫🤭🤭🤭
      Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaattt?!?!?
      Crazy, insane, horrible, unholy, Mark how come you never told us of your great sin against humanity, wow, awful, stinky brain.

    • @anotherkilluasimp1993
      @anotherkilluasimp1993 4 года назад +8

      @@sebastianvalmes6797 laughing👏my👏fucking👏ass👏off

    • @perhapsdie6458
      @perhapsdie6458 4 года назад

      A

    • @cloudy1860
      @cloudy1860 4 года назад +3

      Ok So I Thought He was gonna say I Secretly had the sponsor of Los clamdo the whole time

    • @leweirdo1220
      @leweirdo1220 3 года назад +1

      I tHoUgHt He WaS gOnNa FiNaLlY aDmIt He'S a MaSoChIsT lOl

  • @jbarron6747
    @jbarron6747 4 года назад +3609

    Mark: It’s a good thing Amy’s not here...
    Amy: *distorted audio feedback demon noises*

    • @ronniechan6519
      @ronniechan6519 4 года назад +94

      DoNt TeLl AmY!!

    • @zigsblade453
      @zigsblade453 4 года назад +82

      "Don't be sad it's over, be sad it happened."

    • @notaname1750
      @notaname1750 4 года назад +30

      There is a gargoyle behind him

    • @jgerajak
      @jgerajak 4 года назад +22

      Don't tell Mere... I mean, Amy.

    • @tinyc.c5366
      @tinyc.c5366 4 года назад +2

      xD

  • @donnyboi7033
    @donnyboi7033 4 года назад +1881

    Alex: "I'm not mad, I'm just disappointed. Now do 1,000 burpees!"

    • @vulgarqueefing
      @vulgarqueefing 4 года назад +6

      @I Am KevinBB 😐

    • @dad5draco
      @dad5draco 4 года назад +3

      Lol, what a great trainer.

    • @Aelithh
      @Aelithh 4 года назад +1

      420 likes XD

    • @Isaia2008
      @Isaia2008 4 года назад +1

      @I Am KevinBB bruh

    • @tiad7143
      @tiad7143 4 года назад +1

      @I Am KevinBB chill

  • @sadgecat588
    @sadgecat588 2 года назад +63

    I'm coming back after not watching him for years and he's actually so much more hilarious wtf

    • @RuneCl4w
      @RuneCl4w 2 года назад +8

      And guess what, these pop tarts put him in the hospital the very next day LMAO, he aight though

  • @jairuskarla.bertolfo8868
    @jairuskarla.bertolfo8868 4 года назад +1949

    Mark: shut up everybody everything's gonna be ok
    3-4 days later: Hospital*

    • @xorth1697
      @xorth1697 4 года назад +12

      I WAS ABOUT TO COMMENT THIS

    • @hippiestoner3411
      @hippiestoner3411 4 года назад +33

      Even better - intestinal blockage...

    • @madeofwood3328
      @madeofwood3328 4 года назад +21

      POPtarts almost killed him... His only secret that was going to kill em, now hes dying

    • @Dad-sp6lj
      @Dad-sp6lj 4 года назад +4

      Tbis made me laugh so hard

    • @danettewright7702
      @danettewright7702 3 года назад +3

      Im your 999th like

  • @cemeek89
    @cemeek89 4 года назад +1397

    Markiplier: the man who won’t eat pop tarts out of the packaging, but WILL eat corn and green beans out of the can...

  • @taylorowen9833
    @taylorowen9833 4 года назад +476

    Poor Amy. One day she's going to walk in and see mark crying in the corner covered in breakfast cereals, packages strewn about the room and the words "Crunchetize me" written in various bits of cereal on the floor.

    • @zapthewarrior7577
      @zapthewarrior7577 4 года назад +4

      you talking about mark eating pop tarts, or a man who went insane with captain crunch?

    • @Timmothy_plays
      @Timmothy_plays 4 года назад +8

      And she wouldn't even be phased by it.

    • @luvbug_m
      @luvbug_m 4 года назад +6

      this definitely shouldn’t have made me laugh as much as i did

    • @taylorowen9833
      @taylorowen9833 4 года назад +1

      @@zapthewarrior7577 I'm calling it. Mark's going to wind up with 50 lbs of cereal for his next review. Captain Crunch, Cinnamon Toast Crunch, an obligatory thing about Jack with Lucky Charms. It's going to culminate in him taking a "cereal bath" like his mashed potatoes bath and his hot chocolate bath. Actually, I'm surprised he hasn't made himself into a bowl of cereal yet with all the weird bath based things he's done.

    • @zapthewarrior7577
      @zapthewarrior7577 4 года назад

      @@taylorowen9833 ok, a mashed potato bath, is just actually disgusting In my opinion

  • @jellyray3395
    @jellyray3395 2 года назад +68

    26:15
    As Mark saw the pop tart god, he had The look of pure terror as he gazes into the lifeless strawberry jam eyes and at his chocolate crusted armor. The god beckoned Mark to follow, and yet, Mark just watched in agony as the tart consumes him whole. Then. The god said.
    "Keep eating."

  • @wminster
    @wminster 4 года назад +3404

    You can take Markiplier out of Unus Annus, but you can't take Unus Annus out of Markiplier.

  • @vaporizedstar
    @vaporizedstar 4 года назад +556

    Ever since the death of Unus Annus, Mark has descended further into madness.

  • @nonamegiven202
    @nonamegiven202 4 года назад +875

    Mark really just trying to vent out the leftover Unus Annus ideals.

    • @im_bored2068
      @im_bored2068 4 года назад +4

      Why no reply

    • @hadasruimy1069
      @hadasruimy1069 4 года назад +4

      @@im_bored2068 why no reply to reply

    • @allenjones4792
      @allenjones4792 4 года назад +3

      @@hadasruimy1069 why no reply to reply to reply

    • @ZamaDraws
      @ZamaDraws 4 года назад

      Why no reply to reply to reply to reply to reply

    • @smartandsmarterify
      @smartandsmarterify 4 года назад

      @@ZamaDraws what you said +1

  • @bradyparisien3533
    @bradyparisien3533 Год назад +66

    Those pop tart boxes are literally the ones we get at the store I work at! You literally bought the stuff for stores!

    • @jasonalcatraz5817
      @jasonalcatraz5817 Год назад +11

      Correction: Evan bought the stuff for stores. Much to Mark's dismay XD

  • @cazoo_kid9853
    @cazoo_kid9853 4 года назад +2602

    Markiplier, the man who threatened 4 big company’s in a week.

    • @orangelake2268
      @orangelake2268 4 года назад +18

      I thought it was 4

    • @cazoo_kid9853
      @cazoo_kid9853 4 года назад +76

      @@orangelake2268 Del Monte, Green Giant, and now Kellogg’s. Did I miss one?

    • @emilybenger-boyle4496
      @emilybenger-boyle4496 4 года назад +77

      @@cazoo_kid9853 sour patch kids

    • @cazoo_kid9853
      @cazoo_kid9853 4 года назад +16

      @@emilybenger-boyle4496 oh right

    • @orangelake2268
      @orangelake2268 4 года назад +37

      @@cazoo_kid9853 Look, he threatened: Del Monte, Jolly Green Giant, Sour Patch Kids and now Kellogg's

  • @antiquessouls5267
    @antiquessouls5267 4 года назад +2071

    Can we take a moment to appreciate how instead of being a jerk like every other big RUclips and having to make a confession to being racist, mark has to only make a confession to eating several boxes of pop tarts in the spam of 6 months- this is why I have been a long time fan.
    Why the hell does my comment have 1.3k likes-

    • @hannahjane6787
      @hannahjane6787 4 года назад +26

      facts. I love him to death

    • @antiquessouls5267
      @antiquessouls5267 4 года назад +23

      @@hannahjane6787 yeah, he has never had a single scandal

    • @Jaidea
      @Jaidea 4 года назад +39

      I thought you said "Mark actually confessed to being racist" AND I GOT SO SCARED OMFG

    • @benkayvfalsifier3817
      @benkayvfalsifier3817 4 года назад +12

      Can we take a moment to realize that Mark unintentionally gave his audience the middle finger at 19:55.

    • @antiquessouls5267
      @antiquessouls5267 4 года назад +10

      @@benkayvfalsifier3817 it was a joke :)

  • @gcfalconi
    @gcfalconi 4 года назад +840

    mark: passive-agressively insults the void
    is he having unus annus withdrawal

  • @-device--057-2
    @-device--057-2 3 года назад +52

    9:32 can we appreciate Lixian putting that pun, that was a great pun 10/10.

  • @maddie1525
    @maddie1525 4 года назад +2007

    mark and alex talking about why marks diet doesn’t work
    alex: “i guess we’ll never know”
    mark: “... i know”

  • @albinospino3089
    @albinospino3089 4 года назад +1924

    Mark: *Goes through an entire rant about how poptarts aren't food*
    Also Mark: _wHAt A wAsTe oF FoOd_

    • @stabfenn2960
      @stabfenn2960 4 года назад +18

      7:01 *das sum gud shit tho..*

    • @Saternalia
      @Saternalia 4 года назад +10

      Also also mark: I ate 84 of these of my own volition separate from this video

    • @davissoria5126
      @davissoria5126 4 года назад +4

      DaM what a waste of not food

    • @shadydaemon4178
      @shadydaemon4178 4 года назад

      Yep.

    • @chibi3575
      @chibi3575 4 года назад

      I read this as he said it XD

  • @shipchaseplays6988
    @shipchaseplays6988 4 года назад +811

    Meanwhile Mark in an alternate universe: "I AM A MAN. WITH 5 TOASTERS"

  • @blackgetsugauser
    @blackgetsugauser 2 года назад +63

    "It's dry, bland, digusting. " Mark has become Gordon Ramsay XD

  • @olid7477
    @olid7477 4 года назад +887

    when your fave is so unproblematic that the most problematic thing they’ve done is order $500 worth of poptarts

    • @swingandamiss5942
      @swingandamiss5942 4 года назад +10

      wholesome events in the lives

    • @acronolozki
      @acronolozki 4 года назад +11

      i mean seriously? the most problematic thing was when he got angry at welcome to the game but even then it wasnt like woooow problematic stuff
      500 hundred dollers on pop tarts is just typical markiplier

    • @SolKiza
      @SolKiza 4 года назад +9

      Everyone else with random influencers: Yeah he may have been a creep but who cares
      Mark Fans: Yea he bought 500 dollars worth of poptarts

    • @kuntoye
      @kuntoye 4 года назад +1

      I'm sorry I changed the likes from 420 to 421 😔

    • @kaihaken5200
      @kaihaken5200 4 года назад +1

      He didn’t review maple bacon, pumpkin pie, watermelon, fruit loops flavor, mocha, and of course watermelon

  • @cecilyerker
    @cecilyerker 4 года назад +8757

    Post Unus Annus Mark doesn’t seem like he’s entirely okay.

  • @blueoffline2667
    @blueoffline2667 4 года назад +1891

    Mark: Has a really healthy lifestyle, works out often, does Keto diet
    Also Mark: „I ate 16 000 calories worth of poptarts. "

    • @manbabymonke
      @manbabymonke 4 года назад +23

      That have expired

    • @roeisimcha188
      @roeisimcha188 4 года назад +13

      He also has 5 ovens

    • @leorewinski7768
      @leorewinski7768 4 года назад +10

      Keto isn't healthy....

    • @DJB3lfry
      @DJB3lfry 4 года назад +5

      @@roeisimcha188 He no longer has 5 ovens, sadly :(

    • @blueoffline2667
      @blueoffline2667 4 года назад

      @Jon Finn It was there the whole video, it just grew stronger as he admited to his sins out loud

  • @johnandrewdivina1435
    @johnandrewdivina1435 2 года назад +65

    Legend says mark is still not done eating all of his pop tarts

  • @rottenlamb1080
    @rottenlamb1080 4 года назад +844

    Ethan: working on his content being proud of himself
    Mark: -midlife sponsorship crisis-

    • @redacted1127
      @redacted1127 4 года назад +11

      @Cal stfu I looked at your bio and all you post is this same comment

  • @sweetyum46
    @sweetyum46 4 года назад +1772

    My husband: "you're too old to watch Markiplier"
    Me: "Not if he keeps making spicy content like reviewing poptarts I'm not. The voice of our generation."

    • @pixiebrat3278
      @pixiebrat3278 4 года назад +9

      Sister!!!!!

    • @sams575
      @sams575 4 года назад +10

      Tell em!!

    • @kevo5133
      @kevo5133 4 года назад +31

      What does he think this is, a cartoon? This is *art*

    • @fartmaster00
      @fartmaster00 4 года назад +3

      LMAO YES

    • @teslacoil5378
      @teslacoil5378 4 года назад +26

      Too old?!?! Nobody's too old to be watching Markiplier.

  • @lognott
    @lognott 4 года назад +619

    "I couldn't do this because Ethan was coming over... But now he's not soooo...." Dang, that feels bad in the heart.

  • @markjrcolin1210
    @markjrcolin1210 2 года назад +41

    I exclusively eat pop tarts at room temperature without heating them at all, so I might be some kind of demon possessed man-child.

  • @mags8790
    @mags8790 4 года назад +806

    Mark: "I feel bad..."
    *4 days later Mark is in the hospital*
    Mark: " I don't know what could have possibly caused this..."

  • @SmittenKitten.
    @SmittenKitten. 4 года назад +17589

    Mark has collected quite the coterie of interesting people... Lixian, Evan, Alex, Eef, Amy, Bob, Wade, Tyler, Sean... A good group.

    • @its_rubee7377
      @its_rubee7377 4 года назад +554

      Oh my god yes, and we NEED Tyler back.

    • @HkPrima
      @HkPrima 4 года назад +170

      You forgot zombie and yamimash eatmydiction nanners swag and minx

    • @_And_y_
      @_And_y_ 4 года назад +49

      Who's Eef?

    • @agentbaguette1519
      @agentbaguette1519 4 года назад +230

      It's very tribal his circle is. Outside of it when he interacts with other friend groups he only relies on his daring nature and his max out charisma or he stay silent during interactions. The only circle I feel he is more active in is the Game Grumps.

    • @gameloser2893
      @gameloser2893 4 года назад +113

      @@_And_y_ ethan nestor

  • @welfomoment5975
    @welfomoment5975 4 года назад +467

    "It doesn't even taste like my childhood. And my childhood tasted like dirt."
    -Mark Edward Fischbach, 2020

    • @Izzy-wl7gl
      @Izzy-wl7gl 4 года назад +8

      @I Am KevinBB x2 bruh that stupid little ploy to get people to watch your videos will not work, it just makes you look pathetic

    • @sierrayocom3108
      @sierrayocom3108 4 года назад +1

      I read this comment just as he was saying it

  • @FilbieTron
    @FilbieTron 2 года назад +22

    This reminds me that my family used to get the off brand unfrosted “pop tarts” and they were the absolute worst.

  • @awakendreamer8841
    @awakendreamer8841 4 года назад +861

    Mark: "I've Been Lying About My Diet"
    Alex: *"Your Free Trial Of Life Has Expired"*

    • @awakendreamer8841
      @awakendreamer8841 4 года назад +2

      @Andrew DGamer thx, heccing autocorrect

    • @voiiddd8016
      @voiiddd8016 4 года назад +2

      I See You Have To Start Every Word With A Capital Letter Too! Im Not Alone!

  • @psycosanches589
    @psycosanches589 4 года назад +817

    "Awful, terrible, garbage, hate it, bad."
    "Oh these are expired..."
    And the mystery solves itself.

    • @hellhander
      @hellhander 4 года назад +13

      I was surprised to hear that they actually could expire.

    • @baydiac
      @baydiac 4 года назад +4

      Bold of you to assume they'd taste good fresh too.
      -A message from the "the only poptarts I like to eat are the publix generic brand without frosting, because I actually dislike sweets" gang.
      _cough._ I uh. I'm not a biased source inappropriate for this discussion. Totally.

    • @melisadeopal2478
      @melisadeopal2478 4 года назад +2

      They use to be moist with decent amount of fillings. Use too. Now they are just garbage.

    • @psycosanches589
      @psycosanches589 4 года назад

      @Matthew Xu Jesus christ 666 likes in like 30 minutes, fucking hell...

    • @psycosanches589
      @psycosanches589 4 года назад

      THIS COMMENT IS NOT EVEN GOOD, STOP LIKING IT, GOD DAMN YOU ALL!

  • @hal6562
    @hal6562 4 года назад +795

    "Alex's gonna so mad when he sees this."
    Has the same feel as:
    "Dad's gonna be really mad when he gets home."

    • @amaravega838
      @amaravega838 4 года назад

      @I Am KevinBB x2 no

    • @melo0611
      @melo0611 4 года назад +1

      @I Am KevinBB x2 HATful

    • @rockyxbautista
      @rockyxbautista 4 года назад +5

      has the same feel as:
      “DONT TELL AMY”

    • @luluthefox9527
      @luluthefox9527 4 года назад

      @@amaravega838 I reported his comments and his channel for unwanted spam

    • @amaravega838
      @amaravega838 4 года назад

      @@luluthefox9527 I do the same whenever I see them. I don't think it works this :/ I still see that axxl dude with his two girlfriends beg for subs everywhere lol

  • @maxwilson7001
    @maxwilson7001 2 года назад +30

    I want to see the rest of Amy’s reaction to all this

  • @oliverwills3556
    @oliverwills3556 4 года назад +1453

    Mark: “I ate 16000 calories worth of pop tarts”
    Alex: **screams in disappointment**

  • @nightsighs
    @nightsighs 4 года назад +1163

    alternate title: *mark slowly has a mental breakdown while eating expired poptarts*

  • @aariz_khan
    @aariz_khan 4 года назад +1249

    It's like Annus was a different personality that got stuck inside of Mark and I can see it now in the videos he makes🤧

    • @wetworkxdomain7214
      @wetworkxdomain7214 4 года назад +20

      As upset as I am to accept it, you right

    • @xlil_demonxuvu1052
      @xlil_demonxuvu1052 4 года назад +4

      ReEEeEE

    • @xetrierway9314
      @xetrierway9314 4 года назад +22

      Wait a minute if annus is still in Mark... then that means that Unus left alone. 0-0

    • @themanofseals3531
      @themanofseals3531 4 года назад +5

      Na he's always been this way

    • @aariz_khan
      @aariz_khan 4 года назад +7

      @@xetrierway9314 maybe Ethan has the other half

  • @brooksproductionsstudios3389
    @brooksproductionsstudios3389 2 года назад +5

    *"They are the same different, but they're different..."*
    -Mark Edward Fishbach

  • @SatisfiedShark
    @SatisfiedShark 4 года назад +766

    Mark: Amy can’t know
    Amy: Couldn’t care less

    • @BigE216
      @BigE216 4 года назад +6

      But the fact he made up a lie 😂 and he face when the door open 😂

  • @daffadell5153
    @daffadell5153 4 года назад +755

    I'm 100% certain Markiplier is having a mental breakdown over these poptarts right now

  • @ramisaj
    @ramisaj 4 года назад +853

    “Also I couldn’t do this cuz Ethan was coming over and now that he’s not I can finally bust out the peanut butter”
    *STOP MAKING ME CRY MARK*

    • @sawyerharms6143
      @sawyerharms6143 4 года назад

      Timestamp?

    • @sirswag1802
      @sirswag1802 4 года назад +4

      @@lyndarowlett866 ... its a 33 minute video; and a 5 second clip. They literally just forgot where it was. Stop being pretentious

    • @LemonsOnTheFloor
      @LemonsOnTheFloor 4 года назад +1

      @@sirswag1802 literally

    • @ResetYourKid
      @ResetYourKid 4 года назад

      Why would that make you cry

    • @inkydinoslayer7602
      @inkydinoslayer7602 4 года назад +1

      It’s at 12:45

  • @theBas3m3nt
    @theBas3m3nt 2 года назад +20

    Mark : judges people on the way they eat poptarts
    Also Mark : savagely sucks the flavoring from takis and spits out the carcass

  • @gameboy3d943
    @gameboy3d943 4 года назад +1013

    Mark’s Hate List Unless He Gets Sponsored by Them:
    -Sour Patch Kids
    -Del Monte
    -Pop Tarts

    • @SilverWitch971
      @SilverWitch971 4 года назад +16

      Green Giant as well now too, he just threatened them while cancelling Del Monte😂

    • @kranky06
      @kranky06 4 года назад +8

      Don't forget about green giant

    • @veronicaresendiz3141
      @veronicaresendiz3141 4 года назад

      @Cal same

    • @Jarjarvideos
      @Jarjarvideos 4 года назад +1

      You forgot jolly green giant

    • @drewvarner8001
      @drewvarner8001 4 года назад

      And slowly Big green giants but not yet

  • @NathanTheMan
    @NathanTheMan 4 года назад +1852

    “I just trusted Evan”
    Evan: P E E S A U N A

  • @rxyal1903
    @rxyal1903 4 года назад +2291

    Mark: Poptarts needs to sponsor me.
    Also Mark: Garbage, terrible, hate it, awful, disgusting, bad. Why?

  • @IvetaMarhanova
    @IvetaMarhanova 3 месяца назад +2

    As soon as i saw the title, i was like
    Mark what could you have possibly done?!?!
    And then he confessed to eat poptarts.
    10/10 video

  • @zyaphyr
    @zyaphyr 4 года назад +788

    A man ate 16000 calories worth of expired Pop Tarts, this is how his organs shut down.

    • @christopherbuckenhamphotog368
      @christopherbuckenhamphotog368 4 года назад +32

      He had poptartemia emia means pressence In blood

    • @StudioHannah
      @StudioHannah 4 года назад +31

      The man suffered from sucrosemia, “sucrose” meaning “sugar,” and “-emia” meaning “presence in blood.”

    • @GC-kj4zv
      @GC-kj4zv 4 года назад +3

      In the criminal justice system

    • @Joyful_Jo_
      @Joyful_Jo_ 4 года назад

      YESSS

    • @hasansyrf
      @hasansyrf 4 года назад +7

      Literally just watched the gas station sushi episode of that channel

  • @Gragoroth
    @Gragoroth 4 года назад +645

    Mark: "I ate 16,000 calories worth of pop tarts."
    *ALEX INTENSIFIES*

  • @aydencuriel5217
    @aydencuriel5217 4 года назад +828

    Alternative title: Mark having an existential crisis over pop tarts for 30 minutes

    • @bangerz5871
      @bangerz5871 4 года назад

      You’re right and I hate it

    • @_.txlie._
      @_.txlie._ 4 года назад +7

      I was worried when I pressed the vid and now I'm more concerned

    • @sophiachacon2957
      @sophiachacon2957 4 года назад +2

      @@_.txlie._ I laughed way harder at this than I should have lmao

    • @tjharts
      @tjharts 4 года назад

      @@sophiachacon2957 same

  • @chezzybloss1283
    @chezzybloss1283 2 года назад +12

    Mark: "I WILL BE SANE AGAIN!!!!"
    Us: "Mark, you never were sane to start with.. but that's why we love ya"

  • @Defunctaccount
    @Defunctaccount 4 года назад +503

    “I will be sane again”
    Don’t get ahead of yourself now Mark

    • @jtjones4727
      @jtjones4727 4 года назад +2

      What is insane, is the fact that strawberry wasn't in his top 5. I mean come on, that is the classic Pop Tart right there. Frosted Strawberry. Followed probably by the Frosted fudge ones, whatever they're called. And blueberry, nasty.

    • @discordiadingle3203
      @discordiadingle3203 4 года назад

      @@jtjones4727 yea, but I think it’s like starbursts, ya know? Everyone’s certain that they know what the best and worst flavor is, but it’s really a matter of preference. I love strawberries, but I hate strawberry pop tarts. I’m like Mark, I prefer cherry pop tarts. Just preference🤷‍♀️

  • @kritzy5031
    @kritzy5031 4 года назад +1111

    "I'm gonna eat it, but I don't trust it"
    I wanna die, But I aint killing myself.

  • @Suskungale
    @Suskungale 4 года назад +836

    Mark: i have a confession
    Everyone: :'(
    Mark: P O P T A R T S

  • @rexitally4323
    @rexitally4323 Год назад +8

    Mark after he eats a completely normal amount of pop-tarts in 6 months: “ALL ABOARD… the toxic gossip train”