@@ebonyessence2838 A Black spouse indicates consciousness, racial pride, strength, and a high self-image A non-Black spouse indicates isolation, shame, weakness, and a poor self-image
I ex-husband is white, he wanted to married right away. He was determined, but he had a lot of learning to do and still doesn't get the black culture in America and the struggles. Unless they are willing to learn and be open to the experience of a black woman, the relationship will struggle.
I agree with you I don't care what nobody says being in a relationship with a white man isn't the same for him being in a relationship with a white women, and with that being said if we really and truly can't break ground about how we choose to deal with each other on many different levels the relationship won't survive that's just my personal opinion andi I'm a black woman but if I can't relate to how your living your life and you can't relate to how I'm living mines even though we could be from different backgrounds that speaks volumes to me. Good comment.
That’s a good point sis! All relationships are difficult. I can’t even imagine the added pressure you went through. Keep pushing God has someone amazing for you!
Same. My ex-husband is white, and not only the issues you spoke of were similar in my marriage, also some of his family was lowkey or outright racists. Imagine having children with someone like that, and they want their family to babysit your kids? No thanks.
@pink girl I definitely didn't know the severity of the situation as a whole before marrying him. It was like being in a Lifetime movie, where the first half of the movie shows how perfect everything is, then it gets real, then it's fight or flight. I personally won't even date white men anymore because it poses such a huge risk while raising my black son, in my opinion.
I get that. I'm open to interracial dating but if the family does more than I can handle and the guy can't/won't check them, then I got to go. Interracial or not
I have always been treated better by white men. So I go where I am celebrated. I accept that I pick the wrong black man every time. I will no longer fight for men who rather fight with me than for me. Listen black women, black men have spoken and the majority have said they don’t want us.
Ashley B. The number of black men who choose white women.....We build them then when they get up they choose white women and that’s okay. So I would rather build with a white man.
I get what you are trying to say. Don’t let others gaslight you. Black men have been getting away with disrespecting black women for a long time and other black people will deny or turn a blind eye. White men are NOT saviors but they can be a dating & marriage option for black women if they treat you right.
I’m kinda confused with this message. Tony you stated that you dated white women and ALL types of women since your teenage years. You even have a video stated that you approached your wife because she looked ambiguous and you hadn’t seen anyone like her, she ended up being your wife. How are men able to date whomever and it’s considered “their preference” but black women can’t go looking for a white man because it’s hers. I think that’s hypocritical to be honest. Statistically WM/BW relationships last longer than the later. I am highly attracted to black men but I wouldn’t shun other races because I don’t belong to black men and they don’t belong to me. I know that I’m a high value woman and that’s based on my character so I am approached by all races of men. Women need to heal their wounds, invest in themselves and any race of man will genuinely pursue them with purpose.
Rosemary Terra I just can’t understand his view when that’s exactly why he started dating his wife. Also, most black women aren’t motivated to date outside our race out of spite or because black men hurt them. Let’s be real a lot of black women do it to expand dating options as they should and there is nothing wrong with that. Black women are taught to be race loyal from birth and men are taught to taste the rainbow. Maybe it’s not seeking out but rather not excluding men that are seeking us. Anyone who is dating another human being for the wrong reasons are going to experience a failed relationship eventually.
Totally agree with you. And when he goes out with his wife, who is beautiful by the way, he has even said himself he thought she was of another race. So people who don’t know her background may assume she’s not black but Hispanic/other. So how is he telling us about the “struggle” of being in an interracial relationship and how it’s not all unicorns and roses when he himself is viewed as the same? I just confused myself talking about it. And God isn’t the author of confusion so let’s just say he was in “the flesh” when he did this video 😂😂
He stated that he thought his wife was Hispanic and didn’t realize she was Jamaican I can’t remember him saying he dated her because she was ambiguous. Correct me if I’m wrong
Black men want black women to be loyal to them, meanwhile we sitting here single and they didnt take advantage of the opportunity to pursue us until we are with someone of another race. Then they have a lot to say. I think black love is special because due to the obstacles present in the black community its not as prevalent, so if you can have a healthy black love, its special and revolutionary. But its not the only love available. Love is love. If im dating a white man, who loves and values me, and meets my standards, I will not pass him up in hopes of finding a black love instead.
Black men don’t want to believe that BW have interests from other groups of men. The truth is we do! I have so many white men try to talk to me since I’ve been single I’ve lost count. But I’ve chosen not to date them because I didn’t feel comfortable in this current political climate of our country. I may have been wrong and may eventually change my mind but that is my truth. But believe the options are there. Most BW are race loyal unlike BM who are the least race loyal of any group on the planet.?
They reason white men want BW is because their race is declining and they want us to have their children just to mix our strong blood line with thier weaker genetics to keep their blood lineage going don't be fool its a set up. Yes they know who we are, because they studies us, and They know the black man anit stepping up to the plate nor are they strong enough to protect and provide. So here comes johnny hollering hero. Now Felicia got 2 mixed babies and his race lives on forever. Girl you gotta look deeper.
Ki ki Winstead I hardly ever trust the motives of anyone trying to look for an interracial relationship. But I definitely believe that’s why they promote the WW/BM relationships.
I've heard from a black man complaining about raising his biracial son. He's not black enough because of his mom. It's so weird to me. I don't understand...he chose that woman. 🤷🏾♀️
Bottom line, women should love who is loving them whether it be black or otherwise. I do believe black women should diversify their dating pool and not in spite of a black man which is a ridiculous notion anyway. Level up ladies (mind, body, spirit and financial) and you can have the type of man you want.
Black women been dating interracial since the MAYFLOWER why do black women think that dont nobody no that, can u imagine a blue black man WALKING around with a blonde in the 1960, we make it a big deal I been seeing black women with especially white Latin Asian men an I grew up in Atlanta an all black city.....one thing I cam say is at least black men getting better at interracial dating cause the obese white woman ain't it. Man I saw a brother with a Arab woman the other day this had to be the prettiest woman in the world an a black man had her an I did feel like yeah brothers get em....
@@jamesmitchell866 what??? You clearly said that cuz you can't get her, or clearly any other woman for the matter, which is why your ignorant self is.sitting here making a comment such as that under a Tony Gaskins video created to empower us black women who have been berated for decades. Save it. Thats why you are where you aren't.
Blue, black, orange, yellow or peach. I’m going to date the one that treats me like a queen 👑 period. It is sad to say, so far the interracial relationship I’ve had are way better. For many years I’ve been sitting here looking for my chocolate man only. 👀Child I’m now truly enjoying getting to know human being period. Asian, Indian, Jamaican, African , Hispanic, Caucasian. Listen, don’t chase away your blessings and you can still keep your legs close while doing so. Don’t get it twisted. 😆😆🤗
@Kim B Awesome! It must be grace by God then and/or y'all motive of being with each other comes from a pure place. My child father (black) is married to a white women. I never dated outside my race. I heard horror story's of a women find out her white guys she's been dating sending racist txt message about her to his friend. Every story is different.
Interracial couples definitely have obstacles. I was in one for 18 yrs. We have 3 kids but never married because every time we went out there were stare downs from many black women. I believe he just got tired of all of the stares, rolling eyes etc. That wasn't the only reason for the split. He was talking to other females. Those female didn't care that kids were part of the equation. He just didn't value family like I did.
@@_theerealnono_7694 this is what I'm trying to understand. Tony is not even with a full black woman himself. And from what Katherine is saying, her black man put a baby in her and then went on to MARRY a white woman. So why is she so afraid of non black men?
I'm open to interracial dating and have dated white men to open my dating pool of available eligible men. In my opinion, true love is worth the hassle as long as you know your worth, have values and standards. It's especially important to keep your legs closed!
Restored Hope This is the ONLY issue I disagree with Tony on. And honestly black women must do what feels right to them. These black guys are not valuing themselves. That is a FACT!
Exactly I agree. I’ve dated white and black and there is really not much difference in my opinion. A guy is a guy lol. It’s truly about how the male is raised and if he has values as you said.
A lot of black women refuse to date outside of their race because they feel white and/or other men can't relate to them but do black men honestly understand the "black woman's struggle" any better than white/other men🤔 If so, why do they leave? And why do they themselves date other instead of black?? Just curious
I always felt a white man couldn’t fully understand me as a black woman or our history. Our relationship with our natural hair, weave, mixed girls being the face of beauty for the full black woman and other complicated subjects. Also I always worried about having mixed kids and seeing how they’re treated better than full black children I don’t want people to idolize my child’s beauty and In my mind I know it’s because of her white features . I need someone who can understand me from a place of experience. That will feel more authentic I believe. But I’m not attracted to most black men. I think it’s because past experiences with father figures and being abandoned. My emotions don’t click. Still working on healing.
Black children can go through the same identity crisis if they're not whats considered "black", if they're different or not ghetto, hood stereotypes, it's all in parenting. I think the issue is more so on putting value on outsiders perception. If you're in a interracial relationship with no issues it shouldn't matter what anyone else thinks. Also, black men don't often try to understand black women, they're no different.
Colorism is in every community not just black for example dark skin latinos/latinas get hate from the more european/spaniard looking ones same for mexicans and asians
morbid dom the point is that the “colorism” argument is a copout/excuse because every group everybody likes lighter skin and nice features sadly due to european colonization and them setting the standard of beauty
SoundMind she asked him to make a video on colorism and you responded that it exists in all communities. What is the point of stating that as if it negates anything? Colorism in each community is going to be different for men and women.
I’m not using the hue of any skin to date men! I’m guided by values, God-fearing qualities, fiscal responsibility, emotional intelligence and many other critical factors that will lead to a healthy relationship. I’m approached by men of all races, as beauty and intelligence are recognized regardless of race. This black woman dates across all racial or ethnic groups. I’m especially not loyal to any one group. I’m loyal to my happiness to choose the right wholesome man to go on this life journey!
I think black woman should definitely date outside their race if they are attracted to other races. I know many black men who arent checking for black women. The women they be checking for that are "black" are the women who are light skin or biracial. Tony Gaskin is married to a biracial woman. There's nothing against the Gaskins but in reality for darker skinned black women we are at the bottom of the barrel to some black men. Growing up I loved black men and they didnt like me at all. So that's why I started dating outside my race and found a lot more white guys who were attracted to me than my own people. And I have more things in common with white guys than I do my own people. So that's why I think darker skinned black women like me shouldn't be confined to dating a group of men who clearly disown us and arent loyal to us. Also, just because yall the same race doesnt mean yall share similar cultures. Or just because yall different races doesnt mean yall have different cultures. Me and my bf had similar upbringings and we are different races.
I see fine white man all the time. But look here, ain’t nobody got time to be going through all the extra challenges that an interracial relationship brings.
White men have issues too! The difference between a white woman and a black woman is we date differently if a White woman finds an issue she steps back , but some of us Black women we think some how we think "God bless us with fixing power" smh. If God send you a white man God will give him Knowledge how to deal with you and you with him ! The biggest challenge is to stay to the end , so let's not talk bad about our black men , but know that what is for you no one can take it...... Your will Lord! Not my will! Amen!
I remember when one of my friends was getting married to her white boyfriend ..she kept telling us "you can't help who you love" ...for all the years they were married ..she was the one who always made the money ...bought the houses ...the travel etc ...and I guess everyone always thought it was him .....now they are divorced...I didn't ask for details ....she just said "i'm tired of being unhappy" As a Black woman I really don't care who people want to be with ...just don't disrespect me ...go do you and be happy ..when I ask my male friends why they date WM ....they can't say ...they can never articulate ...
That's because those black men are sleep walking through life and have been oppressed. They may even have hidden anger towards black women... Mommy issues perhaps. My brother tried to hide his real thoughts & feelings about his white wife for years. I knew there was no way he loved her. I over heard him talking to his friends one day saying " I can't stand that white b**ch and I made the biggest mistake having a child by her." He told us the complete opposite because he didn't want to look dumb. He's obviously stuck now. His wife has admitted to me that he has slept with 100s of other women and he has 2 kids by other women, but she refuses to let him go. It's like she's determined to keep him as a pet/slave and take his money, because fr fr no else attractive wants her. The way she even got him his by preying on his weakness... Love deprivation. He told her how emotionally unavailable our mom was growing up. She knew then exactly what to say to him in high school to lock him in. Everything our mother neglected to say to him growing up. Everything black girls in our area never knew to say to keep a black man. She's also able to remain completely logical during an argument with my brother. She doesn't try to scare off the black women who are always after my brother. She simply resorts back to her original tactics... Fake love and adoration. It has worked for 20 years.
I finished the video. I hope that nobody comes for Tony because he said the truth! I’m in a very loving interracial relationship and my kids are biracial. It’s not easy when people are so ignorant. Anyway, Men are going to be men regardless of their race. So, if you’re looking for a come up or special treatment 🤷🏾♀️ Thank you again, Tony and you and your family stay blessed!
LaVette thank you for saying this. You have person experience with this and admit that there is additional pressure placed on interracial couples and biracial children. It bothers me that people turn a blind eye and act like this is not a real issue.
Great video Brother Tony. And u were 100% right. The truth hurts. U cant date someone as a novelty and also u have to understand the struggles and stereotypes that come with a particular race. U struck a nerve for ppl that ddnt want to hear the truth. For me I was raised not like most white children. I was adopted at birth. My mom and dad were an interracial couple. My dad white and my mom was Filipino but alot of ppl thought she was black or Caribbean. My dad loved my mom. I was raised to embrace color. As I got older my dad was scarred for me to date interracial because of the backlash he took from society and family. Part of my family who helped raise me were from Jamaica. And I gravitated to that culture. Our motto is "Out of many we are one people." So we embrace difference and color. That's why it's been common for me to date outside my race. It was never about a black issue. I primarily dated Caribbean women. Because we have a different view in life. But the black American women I have dated were because not just a physical attraction but personality, faith, morals, and internal components. So yes the majority of women I dated were black. But i have always allowed myself to be open in dating all colors and races. But it has to be beyond just color. But the color of their heart, mind, and personality. I dont know if my comment helps. But just stating my life. I never asked to be raised the way I was in a multi cultural and interracial family. But I was. I guess God had a special path in my life. To see the beauty in everyone😇❤
I have dated out of my race for the past 12 years. I don't agree with society when they say . The stereotype is that black men have temper problems. I don't agree! But my experience white men have really bad temper problems. Because they are spoiled. Not all but most. I also dated Hispanic. My best was with a PUERTO RICAN man. And that was because we were both in church. Sisters are like to share with you , allow God to chose that man for you. It doesn't matter the race. We all have problems and issues when God chose the right one he doesn't discremenate. Its not about being with the person who can deal with your positive it's about finding the person that can deal with the negative part of you. Whether he's black white hispanic or whatever race. He loves you with good and bad....
Here in the UK there is a high rate of mixed relationships but they never go to the end. The majority are between working class blackmen and working class white women who are usually fat. You don't need a degree to know why these fat women are going with blackmen. White men don' t want them. What ive seen from my friends who have been with white women, is that seemed to have comprised themselves to be in the relationship and forgetten who they were for bottom of the shelf women who oly bring thier white skin. There was a white woman who i worked with who always spoke badly about black women and always reffered to them as that blackwoman, that black woman over there and said with such contempt. Yet her boyfriend is black! Does that sound like a woman who was genuine in a mixed relationship? The grass is not always greener on the other side.
This is so true. I see this in my own country. The men bring women from overseas and i know they are the least desirable just to say that they have a wyt woman.
You are so right. I have heard of interracial couple using racial insults against each other when they quarrel and I said now the truth about how they really feel about each others race is coming out.
I was wondering the same of black men. Are they content in being black because as soon as they become successful they feel like they need to get a white, puerto rican, asian or mixed woman because they are a trophy along with their wealth. This conversation can really go deeper on both sides.
To each their own, just be authentic and let it be real. I'm white, married to a white man. We only have biracial grandchildren. My daughter will not look at a white man, only Hispanic men. My stepdaughters will not look at a white man, only black. I'm not sure if either has ended well for them. They have both ended up with children alone, perhaps for this very reason. They are closed minded to their own race and don't authentically fall in love, instead solely focused on dating outside their race. If they just looked at a person based off who they are, not the color of their skin things might work better for them. I love all my grandchildren & wish everyone could love every race, but pick by character/rather than skin color. It's been 2 totally different stories for them, my stepdaughter has 2 children by the same black guy, who had like 6 others pg & never wanted her, however she chose to go back & make a second child with him. He still is with the other woman, not her. My daughter married someone from Honduras & he got deported/due to him beating on her & landed in jail. He was a hard worker, but in his culture they beat their women/sleep with multiple women. My point/choose by character, like my stepdaughter had a wonderful black man before the one she had children by & didn't want him, he was wonderful. I hope I said this well & didn't offend anyone, that's not my intention by any means. Everyone, be blessed!! Best wishes for a happy/healthy/authentic relationship/despite our race/color/exc...
@Jamilla Dobson I'm not trying to be racist at all. I love everyone, just saying they should choose based on character, rather than race. I'm sorry if it came off that way to you, just simply agreeing with what Tony was stating. My best friend is biracial, from head start all the way through school. I just feel they chose bad character in the men they chose, even if they were with their own race I'd feel the same. I love my grandchildren to the ends of the earth & am thankful for their fathers who helped create them, despite the circumstances & the way everything ended in those relationships. Infact, my daughters husband (who beat her) I still feel bad, that he's gone from their life & how something that could have been so beautiful, ended in heartbreak. I have cried many tears for him, despite his actions! To each their own, everyone matters to me despite their race, nationality, gender, exc... I feel our children just went about it in the way Tony is saying isn't a good idea.
@@samanthaadkins5551 You didn't say anything wrong. Unfortunately there are a lot of white women who go for non white men for the wrong reasons and things don't end well. Best of luck to your stepdaughter. Hopefully she'll figure things out.
Black women, there is no “shortage of men”. There is however a shortage of quality black men. Go where you’re celebrated. We are a minority. When we expand our options, our dating pool overflows with quality mate options. Don’t let any person scare you into believing that expanding your options is bad or will be a bad experience. We learned of Tony because of bad experiences with black men. I’m not saying don’t date black men, I’m saying never limit your options. You have no idea what your man looks like or who he is. Date where you’re celebrated, not tolerated. That’s the first step in meeting a quality mate.And real men don’t care what others think, they protect the women they love with pride. So have no fear.
There are problems with every man not just black men. Because if God doesn't change him, it really doesn't matter what his race is. Although society has conditioned our mind to believe that black men are the worst. Totally not true!! I can say black women should expand your horizon dating outside their race. But just make sure God is in it. Because a lot of people put on a poker face and say they love God and then they have mixture in their relationship with God. You don't want to be found stuck in that situation.
Ver Mel Women and black women especially should consider all quality mate options regardless of race. This should be a very simple and non controversial concept especially for someone claiming to be a Christian. Black women should be encouraged to date where they are celebrated and appreciated, as we are typically race loyal when it comes to dating and least desired when it comes to quality black men (especially dark skin women). A wise woman once said “one sided loyalty is for dummies”.
"It's going to take work on either side of the aisle. ...but it's going to be more work in an interracial relationship because we live in a prejudice society." TG
Thank you Tony for being so real about this topic! As an American Hispanic woman that can pass as European, I realized early in my life the benefits and positive sides of the white culture and I disliked my own race. Because my race left a weird taste in my mouth and the white culture seemed to have it together, I wanted to use my appearance to win the benefits of being with a white man and white family. I’ve never dated a Hispanic man but have had multiple failed relationships with white men. God is speaking to me through you and I realize I’ve got work to do. Thank you for your message! It was Recieved.
You are right Tony G. There is a set of issues and challenges you have to really consider when you decide to date outside of your race. So far, I've had good experiences dating white men. I love black men but open to other races too.
We have a choice to be with our children and woman now black men. Slavery is over. We still recovering from togetherness as a family. But we psychologically damaged.
Good video,my experience in an interracial marriage of 18 years. Didn't start with intention of even being a couple her father has told his friends that I am the son he always wanted,being that his daughter is a only child. I have had women walk by and speak words unrepeatable here,when in stores. It doesn't happen all the time and I never offer negative energy back when approached like that,love is a power energy that has no boundaries. I was not looking for a relationship when we met,and the racial make up would not have mattered , my hope for women in general is that she attracts someone on the same vibration period. Now my wife is threatened by black women,even though we have made it for 18 years and we have had no cheating situations.Again good video, One Love!
I think you should date whoever you love regardless of race. Remember Moses sister was struck with a leprosy but age was racist against moses black wife. So we know God is against racism. As Christians ,were spiritually minded. Not carnally minded. Spirit is spirit not flesh. Im a 49 yr old man with a black dad and an italian mom. But i grew up in the black hood. So who do i date? Black or white Asian, mexican, indian, cuban or who. I live in Minnesota where people could care less who you date. When jungle fever came out. We couldn't understand what the big deal was. Its been going on for 100 years in Minnesota. Nothing new. In California they date anybody. love who you love. Its going on in the south too. Everytime i go to Monroe Louisiana. I see all types of mixed couples everywhere in the mall and everywhere.We cant be that closed minded, then were just as bad as the prejudice people. Times have changed. Maybe God sent your spouse , but you didn't recognize them because they were of another race. Think about it
@chick2353 The Bible doesn't say if he was black but he was Jewish. We know there's no black Jews. And obviously what Mariam did was wrong because God punished her for it. It wasn't part of their culture it was wrong. There was no Jim Crow in the north it was only in the south. Prince the singer and Morris Day from the time are biracial and they were born in the 50's both in their 60's plus i know alot of in the 70's Ave 80's. The singer El Debarge and his brothers are biracial in their 60's from Michigan. Trust me we didn't really understand the big deal about Jungle fever. I was in my 20's with a white mom when the movie came out, and had many many black friends with white, mexican and asian parents. So we just thought of is as more entertainment than people really still stuck. My grandma from Louisiana told me that in America if you have any black in your black. She taught to love everyone and be proud of my whiteness, but to always remember that im just a black man with a white mom. If we dont date out of our race because their not our race. Then were just as prejudice as the whites who teach their kids not to date out of their race. God made all of wonderful.
@@popa213 hi there, you could be right about the black jews or these lighter jews. The original point was that this prejudice has to stop on birth sides. I always taught my daughters to love and marry the man that loves and respect you. She married a black man from Florida, my son married a white girl that he went to school with. They both have 3 kids each. And in our family it was never it mentioned or a point of conversation of her being white. Its 2020 and were still having this conversation??? Wow! I know I'm from Minnesota and we're very liberal here ,(to liberal) But the south has to catch up and as black people we need to change our thinking. As Christians we need to be ashamed. The Bible say that we shouldn't show partiality to no on.
Great message. I had a white guy trying to get to know me but kept saying “I like the chocolate girls.” That wasn’t a compliment as far as I was concerned. Every time he said it I was turned off because I wanted to get to know him just for him. Not because he was white. Thank you for the truth Tony.
I’m a white European woman and my man is Jamaican. The chemistry between us is out of this world. We now have a little princess and our families are supportive of our relationship. ❤️
Hmmm....my, my, my. Did you go to Jamaica to get him? Jamaicans love to prey on persons on the internet, because life is hard in Jamaica, they are looking for a way out, but to each their own, glad its working out for you.
Tony why do you think rap music seems to be the only genre of music that is so disrespectful to black women. Why are African American men so disrespectful to there own, what do you think is the root cause?
This is not completely accurate. All rap music is not disrespectful to black women. If you think that, you aren't listening to the right rap music. Also, if you pay attention to lyrics there are some R&B songs that are disrespectful to women. You just have to be careful what kind of music you are listening to in general.
Trust me, when you in interracial relationship, you don't really think about each others colour. My husband is what, i couldn't care less if he's Asian black etc.
I am white, my husband is black. We live in the South. We have had challenges, but have been together almost 20 years. Collectively we have 10 children. I am his 2nd wife and he also has children by another woman. All the children get along and I have a good relationship with both of the mothers of his children. I attend parties and such for both families. It's different for each person. I, nor him, ever tolerated any nonsense with our kids or otherwise. We never had any concerns for anyone's negative feelings about our marriage. But like I said, each person is different. People stare but we smile, wave and move on. Racism will always exist on both sides of the isle, it's all in how we respond to it.
Lmao this is true. My white home girl said if things don’t work out with her white husband that she’ll be going back to dating black men bcuz they like thicker women lol smh. It’s always an aesthetic/fetish for the most part. Ideally, my husband will be black because like u said, we can relate on more levels. I don’t discriminate. I am attracted to all races and I I’ve attracted men from all kinds of races (literally lol) but I see myself marrying a black man. However, I am open and don’t see myself worrying about the smoke that comes with it because if the love is genuine, I’ll stand up for it and so will my husband. I don’t want anymore passive men, I had 1 in the past (he was black) and always found myself defending myself from his family while he barely said anything. Mind u, I’m a fairly reserved/laid back person so they were trying to take advantage of that & my kindness, but I refuse to let ppl talk to me any kind of way(.) Ideally my husband will be a brave man of character who’s not afraid to speak his mind, stand up for me, himself, & others. Idk what race/color he’ll be, but I do prefer him to be black. Lol
This is very good! I personally never dated interracially but I definitely can’t imagine the backlash that would come from our families, friends, communities. Honestly I personally think it’s It’s hard enough for males and females to understand each other when you are the same race. I can’t imagine that pressure that interracial couples face.
Its mostly from society/ ignorant people you dont know. If those ignorant people ARE the people you know and consider friends, then thats another convo.
Tracy G unfortunately people have biases that they have to overcome if they choose to. I think the biases exist with people you know and people you bump into. The reality is racial bias is real and if we’re honest with ourselves we see it daily. This racial climate right now is just forcing people to face it whether it’s a black person who has an issue with seeing a black man with a woman of another race or vice verse. Racism and bias is real and always have been. People can no longer pretend it doesn’t exist because this racial climate has forced us to open our eyes to its reality.
@@enlightenedone7083 Same....and after a divorce from a narcissistic abusive Jamaican ex-husband I know my God has prepared my beautiful Black King for my daughter and I. Ain't settle for nothing less 💯.
Tony you said a mouth full on this one I have seen both sides my mom was married to a white man for several years both my brothers have biracial children and let me tell you from the inside lookING 👀 IN I feel that black men and women should love ❤️ one another and stick together..... to those that date other races God bless but as a black women White men tend to want to date me but I never feel a genuine connection I just LOVE BLACK MEN it’s just my preference and white men make me feel like they only want to date me because of the color of my skin that’s how I felt when I dated a white guy sooooo I’m speaking from my experience.
They used to call me white chocolate🤣🤣🤣🤣...LaTasha!!!!.....baby, the trauma is sick!!! it’s so hard... family trauma... relationship trauma... trauma from slavery... the Lord has got so much healing to help us do🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽... we’re so far behind!!!
I dated interacially but left him because I saw how the world treated us! Couldn't let my children go through that. He treated me better than any man I've ever been with. I found out from a mutual driend he'd bought me an engagement ring after i graduated nursing school. I should have stayed but I think I would have been in jail because this world is so cruel. His mother hated me! I needed her approval- then. He couldn't careless. What cracked me up was his mother was born in Tokyo! His father was German and stayed neutral. His brothers and sister in-laws loved me. I was raised in an interracial community
Girl as great as he might be, you doged a bullet. When you marry someone, you marry their family. Unless he is willing to disown his mother and choose you above all don't feel bad. To be fair people want their loved one to be received well by their family as it is a uphill battle if this becomes an issue. If love and acceptance does not happen from the families, the couple must be willing to deal with the backlash (it can a little backlash it can be a lot). Most can't. Families and friends have a major influence on the longevity of a relationship. I wish you the best.
Omg I was laughing the whole time because you were definitely calling me out in this video Tony. 🤣🤣🤣 I tried to date outside my race for all the wrong reasons. And you're right, I didn't have any better results in the end. It did seem like the men in other cultures did communicate with me better though. They were more upfront about not being into me anymore or only wanting me for sex, etc. And the black men I dated seem to not want to be as upfront. But again in the end the common denominator is me. I will take your advice and continue to work on my personal growth and emotional intelligence and love myself more so I will be my authentic self and that is something a man can fall inlove with and want to be serious with me. Thank you for your advice. I always enjoy watching your videos. You make me laugh and shed a lot of light on things I need to hear and you say it in a way I can receive it and I don't feel like its an attack. You're just honest. Keep being great. I am grateful for your videos. Have a blessed day.
@@fatiie People don't determine who we are , ALMIGHTY GOD does . If a persons a CHRISTIAN , all of this can create opportunities to minister to sinners .
For me 25 years ago with my children father it was for love married for ten years, after he and I went our separate ways when I went on to date I only went to date black men because of what I was comfortable with , most attracted to and also because of what I wanted to influence my children. I realize recently I didn’t try to date white again because I did have a fear that they may not be understanding of the black culture and bi racial children ,right or wrong that was my choice.25 years ago I had no idea we would still be dealing with the mess going on today in society. I thought love would save the day .Just because I don’t love in color does not me the world feels the same. I have learned a lot about both sides. I know it’s not a rose color world we live . I could go deeper but I’ll just leave my comment here. No rebellion here just love.
People need to be aware if they choose to do interracial relationships, and that union produces children. They really need to be focused on their children's identity. Many of these children sometimes don't feel they belong anywhere, and they develop a host of issues, linked to people rejecting them because they are not white, hispanic, asian, or black etc. enough.
Black children have identity issues too but you’ll rarely see black people advocating for that. Why do you care more about a mixed kid’s identity issues than a black kid’s identity issues?
@@morbiddom9587 the topic being discussed is interracial dating which will produce mixed kids, if the couple decides to have children, so this is why I am speaking about mixed kids. Do black kids have identity issues, yes they do but that's not what is being discussed here. You missed my whole point.
Black men need to stand with their black women and just stop it,400 yrs of b.s. and we did stand by you no matter what,We love y’all no matter what’s going on, I can speak for myself I love all my brothers hands down,nothing better than my men, all black women are not out for yr money,I want to know how will you seduce my mind,it’s not all the time about sex,Sex doesn’t even last that long,well maybe some,anyway we need to to get back to respecting us.i love y’all and nothing can deter me from y’all. I try hard as hell not to be a nusiance I want a brother to know I am in his corner. I love y’all so much.
When the movie Django came out I was dating a Russian man and we went to go see it. It was so uncomfortable cos when the movie started we were holding hands but when the painful parts of the movie came on I suddenly pulled my hand away from his and he looked at me like "are you ok" and I just ignored him for the rest of the movie...and I could tell he felt bad but I just couldn't help it.
Interesting how black people who date out always have the perception that people from other groups are automatically better and easier to get along with only to still end up having conflict in those relationships. In order to have peace you have to bring the peace. Most times you expect certain behavior before you even have an exchange with a certain individual, you will project that attitude onto person which often impacts the reaction you get back. Just see and treat people the way you want to be treated regardless of who or what they are.
Instead of allowing God to lead us into a relationship marriage and love, rather we choose based on what we see. Racism exists because WE see color, love, true love loves unconditionally. Why should I be judged due to my choice in a woman or vise versa.... because WE'RE HUMAN, FLAWED!
I love my black men but other races catered to me more I didn't have to constantly remind them of the Queen I am . Where I live now I see more black women marrying and staying married to the other race. It's something wrong there we need to love and cherish our sister and brothers more but love who you love as long as he treats you right.
Can you explain then why statistics show that marriages between black women and white men are less likely to end in divorce than those between black men and white/Hispanic women and between black couples period? How is what you’re saying validated in light of these statistics?
@TurquoisePurpleSky Sky I honestly think BW and non BM last bc they're attracted to each others work ethic and drive while BM and non BW relationships often stem from fetishism. Why do you think STATS are this way?
@@jenniferterry4665 Asain women and white men are the ones with the lasting relationships then it's Hispanic women and white men NOT black women and white men
I know a white man who said he needed some one to help pay his bills , so white men are looking at black women to financially contribute if you don't you can forget about it. And you know it
its live again ! Go read the stats.. right behind those 2 are BW/ WM that have the most stable marriages. Black men/ other marriages fall last in stability across the board.
I feel alot of people think if they date outside their race it will be better. No arguments, more money , bigger houses. They are sadly mistaken to find out that its nothing like that because men are men and women are women no matter what race.
Its character before color, black women have been conditioned to put being black before being a woman hence why we believe a non black man wont understand our blackness. Your womanhood is just as important, any man who adores & cherishes you should have chance because of his character. As well as how he treats you.
I love your videos but on this one I don't agree with a lot of what you said more so because of the delivery, it almost sounds like you're advocating against interracial dating. In short the message: don't date another race to avoid working on yourself or because of a stereotype) I agree with, that's about the same as dating someone for their potential and not the reality. Also there is no such thing as a fulfilling relationship that's not going to require work no matter the race of your partner.
The problem is black women don’t want to be held accountable by black me.n and black men don’t want to be held accountable by black women when we are the only people who can truly hold each other accountable to heal!
I need to watch and listen to this video in its entirety. I don't really have an attraction to men outside of my race. But I also feel that the Lord have verified to me through dreams that the man that He actually have for me is white. I was initially attracted to white men. But I get concerned because men get consumed with a fetish that they have with dark skinned women. And their intentions don't always be pure.
All men can fetishize women. Black men tend to fetishize black women for their butts and lips, is that going to stop black women from dating them? Some men have a fetish for a women’s hair and want to sniff it. Fetishization is not only a white or non black man trait. Don’t let people fool you. You would really be upset over a man actually liking your skin color? As long as he’s not trying to do something sick, twisted, and perverted to your skin it’s a good thing if he likes how you look.
@@morbiddom9587 I am confused by your comment a bit. Clearly you misunderstood what I was saying. I was not implying that they would do something perverted to me. Yes I know all men can look at a woman as a piece of meat. But clearly you didn't read the part about me saying that I have been with guys out of my race before. I'm talking from personal experience. As well as what others have experienced. But I said what I said. That is the way I feel. I am not saying I will never be with a white man, or another man that have a different skin tone then myself. I was just saying that is one of my concerns. Sometimes someone from a different race will mess with you, or so call date you. But in reality they still think they are better then you based off of their color. It happens a lot.
Ladenna Young I agree, there are non black men who will date black women but still see themselves as better. Black women have unique challenges to consider when dating in general. We have to watch out for racism, colorism, etc from men in general.
@@_theerealnono_7694 I don't have an issue with engaging in conversation with people on the internet. But I wish they would learn to fully comprehend what they read prior to responding. I can feel how I want to feel. But as Tony stated. I know God wants me to work on me, and allow Him to heal me. And allow Him to shape me into the woman that He created me to be. Before I get to serious about dating anyone. It don't matter what color they are to be honest. I need healing and deliverance. I will not be no good to anybody if I'm not. So ah yeah. Smh.
I'm a white looking woman (I'm actually half Lebanese), married to a black man. Together 20 years, 5 children. It's not easy AT ALL, but it is worth it. If you can make it through you'll be a very strong couple and strong individuals. It just depends on how much work you're willing to do in your relationship.
Yup. I was raised Greek Orthodox I’m not saying I didn’t fall in love from my heart. However, the truth is right here in this video. All of it. . “You gonna play yourself” -->100% God Bless you and your family Mr Gaskins. Keep spitting the truth.
D the pool was definitely small and from what I’m seeing it still is. I’m focusing on healing , working on me and taking care of my son for now but it’s always been a problem
Men are men..keep your standards....but if you open your options up to other races..you have a greater chance at finding happiness...don't have a scarcity mindset....and yes, let it be organic, dont just go for someone just due to their race.
As a mixed person I can confirm youre telling the truth about internal confliction of race and outward pressures + perception. One of the first things people usually ask me is where are you from or what are you. Saying anything of my Black + White blood triggers people and saying Im part native triggers some more so. Its like many see me as a betrayer by blood or selling out or something. Meanwhile my family history helped many people and races during war times and slavery. Not gonna lie. It hurts some and Im not sure if that pain will ever go away even if I know Im a good person because society tries to force my hand. This doesnt even include racism, colorism, age discrimination (22 but Im 30) and peoples jealously.
I had a friend that constantly went after white women.He had 0 love for black women. Multiple times the women that he dated...their families did not like him simply for being black. They wouldn't even call him by his name. He was called n!@@er on every occasion. He married a white woman and her family disowned her. When they started having children that's when they wanted to come around. He was so accepting. I was just like...why do you want their love so bad? Every single time. I met a guy that looked like he was going to the NBA once upon a time. White girl stopped taking birth control behind his back and had twins. Her reason was why does it matter? Were gonna get married anyway. Her family was calling him son, had him at the dinner table all that. A bad car accident ended his budding career. He said she flipped. Broke up with him, her family started calling him ni@@£r, he was no longer welcome. It just blew him away. Then all of a sudden he wanted a black woman. I was done. Now that you have a different future from what you thought you want us. Smh.
Where was Mr gaskins when I swore off of dating black men because of the way I was treated by them. I literally stopped dating black men and I have not been in a relationship since. I tried dating white men but unfortunately I find a lot of them have fetishes for women who have extremely dark skin like myself and they don't understand what black women or people have to go through. So they would say things like "you're sassy, or you're being too loud, or you're difficult to communicate with". I'm sorry but white men just don't understand. I gave them chances but I wanna stick to my own kind. Needless to say, unless it happens organically I am not interested in dating outside of my race ever again. I'd rather wait for a man of my own race and culture who already understands me so we can build together. Instead of having to deal with the challenges that come up in an interracial relationship. Ty for this video Mr gaskins.
Well I disagree I m happy to be Greek and proud for it I feel no problem with it but I m also proud that my fiance is igbo nigerian and he loves his culture he is traditional man. I love nigerian films music and specially igbo culture from the time I discover it and he is also learning Greek with passion. Loves god and has strong ethical values . He is not the most sexy black guy but has a golden heart and a laugh like a small river. He loves me for my funny caracter and my pointy nose who reminds him kleopatra. His father likes me because I know well their culture and we say igbo proverbs and my family likes him because he has integrity and is a good businessman. Never asked anything from me. On top of that I m 10 years older and we will adopt a black igbo kid or two as I can't do, because I love them and would love my kids to be brought up like igbos but with a touch of Greek spirit too. So the main thing is to find who you feel happy with and who u can understand and he can understand you. As a person individually.
I’ve been interracial dating for six years now . We value and love one another . My boyfriend is white and I’m black . Glad to see a video . It doesn’t matter what race you are .
Long story short. Hold men accountable regardless of race
Amen!
Facts
I agree! A man is a man no matter the color
@@ebonyessence2838 A Black spouse indicates consciousness, racial pride, strength, and a high self-image
A non-Black spouse indicates isolation, shame, weakness, and a poor self-image
I ex-husband is white, he wanted to married right away. He was determined, but he had a lot of learning to do and still doesn't get the black culture in America and the struggles. Unless they are willing to learn and be open to the experience of a black woman, the relationship will struggle.
Briana G truth!
I agree with you I don't care what nobody says being in a relationship with a white man isn't the same for him being in a relationship with a white women, and with that being said if we really and truly can't break ground about how we choose to deal with each other on many different levels the relationship won't survive that's just my personal opinion andi I'm a black woman but if I can't relate to how your living your life and you can't relate to how I'm living mines even though we could be from different backgrounds that speaks volumes to me. Good comment.
That’s a good point sis! All relationships are difficult. I can’t even imagine the added pressure you went through. Keep pushing God has someone amazing for you!
Same. My ex-husband is white, and not only the issues you spoke of were similar in my marriage, also some of his family was lowkey or outright racists. Imagine having children with someone like that, and they want their family to babysit your kids? No thanks.
@pink girl I definitely didn't know the severity of the situation as a whole before marrying him. It was like being in a Lifetime movie, where the first half of the movie shows how perfect everything is, then it gets real, then it's fight or flight. I personally won't even date white men anymore because it poses such a huge risk while raising my black son, in my opinion.
What a bold and courageous truth. This is such a real perspective that a lot of people just can’t admit to. Great video Tony!
Yep. This video further proves just how honest Tony really is.
I'm open to different options but I'm not into dealing with families who want to create drama because the color of my skin.
Right
I get that. I'm open to interracial dating but if the family does more than I can handle and the guy can't/won't check them, then I got to go. Interracial or not
I feel you but you got black families who are colorist and to me that's even worse.
I have always been treated better by white men. So I go where I am celebrated. I accept that I pick the wrong black man every time. I will no longer fight for men who rather fight with me than for me. Listen black women, black men have spoken and the majority have said they don’t want us.
Sis where do you live and date?
blkqueen7 White men celebrate black women where I am from.
Ashley B. The number of black men who choose white women.....We build them then when they get up they choose white women and that’s okay. So I would rather build with a white man.
@@lilpinkbubbles6592 and you are saying that the WM will not get up and leave ????? I'm just asking ...
I get what you are trying to say. Don’t let others gaslight you. Black men have been getting away with disrespecting black women for a long time and other black people will deny or turn a blind eye. White men are NOT saviors but they can be a dating & marriage option for black women if they treat you right.
I’m kinda confused with this message. Tony you stated that you dated white women and ALL types of women since your teenage years. You even have a video stated that you approached your wife because she looked ambiguous and you hadn’t seen anyone like her, she ended up being your wife. How are men able to date whomever and it’s considered “their preference” but black women can’t go looking for a white man because it’s hers. I think that’s hypocritical to be honest. Statistically WM/BW relationships last longer than the later. I am highly attracted to black men but I wouldn’t shun other races because I don’t belong to black men and they don’t belong to me. I know that I’m a high value woman and that’s based on my character so I am approached by all races of men. Women need to heal their wounds, invest in themselves and any race of man will genuinely pursue them with purpose.
Rosemary Terra I just can’t understand his view when that’s exactly why he started dating his wife. Also, most black women aren’t motivated to date outside our race out of spite or because black men hurt them. Let’s be real a lot of black women do it to expand dating options as they should and there is nothing wrong with that. Black women are taught to be race loyal from birth and men are taught to taste the rainbow. Maybe it’s not seeking out but rather not excluding men that are seeking us. Anyone who is dating another human being for the wrong reasons are going to experience a failed relationship eventually.
Totally agree with you. And when he goes out with his wife, who is beautiful by the way, he has even said himself he thought she was of another race. So people who don’t know her background may assume she’s not black but Hispanic/other. So how is he telling us about the “struggle” of being in an interracial relationship and how it’s not all unicorns and roses when he himself is viewed as the same? I just confused myself talking about it. And God isn’t the author of confusion so let’s just say he was in “the flesh” when he did this video 😂😂
He stated that he thought his wife was Hispanic and didn’t realize she was Jamaican I can’t remember him saying he dated her because she was ambiguous. Correct me if I’m wrong
Exactly. When Tony was seeking the girls of other races, it was for superficial reasons.
Black men want black women to be loyal to them, meanwhile we sitting here single and they didnt take advantage of the opportunity to pursue us until we are with someone of another race. Then they have a lot to say. I think black love is special because due to the obstacles present in the black community its not as prevalent, so if you can have a healthy black love, its special and revolutionary. But its not the only love available. Love is love. If im dating a white man, who loves and values me, and meets my standards, I will not pass him up in hopes of finding a black love instead.
Black men don’t want to believe that BW have interests from other groups of men. The truth is we do! I have so many white men try to talk to me since I’ve been single I’ve lost count. But I’ve chosen not to date them because I didn’t feel comfortable in this current political climate of our country. I may have been wrong and may eventually change my mind but that is my truth. But believe the options are there. Most BW are race loyal unlike BM who are the least race loyal of any group on the planet.?
popa213 I don’t think I had any comments but not sure.
popa213 I can agree with those reasons....
They reason white men want BW is because their race is declining and they want us to have their children just to mix our strong blood line with thier weaker genetics to keep their blood lineage going don't be fool its a set up. Yes they know who we are, because they studies us, and They know the black man anit stepping up to the plate nor are they strong enough to protect and provide. So here comes johnny hollering hero.
Now Felicia got 2 mixed babies and his race lives on forever. Girl you gotta look deeper.
SK I don’t know why they want BM
Ki ki Winstead I hardly ever trust the motives of anyone trying to look for an interracial relationship. But I definitely believe that’s why they promote the WW/BM relationships.
I've heard from a black man complaining about raising his biracial son. He's not black enough because of his mom. It's so weird to me. I don't understand...he chose that woman. 🤷🏾♀️
Biracial kids are very beautiful actually
That’s ridiculous... he had a child with someone of another race and then tells his child he’s not black enough??? What a fool! 🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️
T. L now what the world lol
I can do one better my daughter is mixed and hates me her father cuz I'm white and hates all white ppl and would rather her father be Mexican
Bottom line, women should love who is loving them whether it be black or otherwise. I do believe black women should diversify their dating pool and not in spite of a black man which is a ridiculous notion anyway. Level up ladies (mind, body, spirit and financial) and you can have the type of man you want.
Jamilla Dobson That’s very sweet of you to say, thank you😊
Black women been dating interracial since the MAYFLOWER why do black women think that dont nobody no that, can u imagine a blue black man WALKING around with a blonde in the 1960, we make it a big deal I been seeing black women with especially white Latin Asian men an I grew up in Atlanta an all black city.....one thing I cam say is at least black men getting better at interracial dating cause the obese white woman ain't it. Man I saw a brother with a Arab woman the other day this had to be the prettiest woman in the world an a black man had her an I did feel like yeah brothers get em....
@@jamesmitchell866 oh now its since the Mayflower? smh
@@jamesmitchell866 what??? You clearly said that cuz you can't get her, or clearly any other woman for the matter, which is why your ignorant self is.sitting here making a comment such as that under a Tony Gaskins video created to empower us black women who have been berated for decades. Save it. Thats why you are where you aren't.
Blue, black, orange, yellow or peach. I’m going to date the one that treats me like a queen 👑 period. It is sad to say, so far the interracial relationship I’ve had are way better. For many years I’ve been sitting here looking for my chocolate man only. 👀Child I’m now truly enjoying getting to know human being period. Asian, Indian, Jamaican, African , Hispanic, Caucasian.
Listen, don’t chase away your blessings and you can still keep your legs close while doing so. Don’t get it twisted. 😆😆🤗
Wow! Interracial couples have a whole nother level of obstacles. Gotta be sure it's God because you gonna need a whole lot of GRACE!
@Kim B Awesome! It must be grace by God then and/or y'all motive of being with each other comes from a pure place. My child father (black) is married to a white women. I never dated outside my race. I heard horror story's of a women find out her white guys she's been dating sending racist txt message about her to his friend. Every story is different.
@Kim BYour welcome 😊♥️
Katherine Taylor is your child’s father your ex-husband?
Interracial couples definitely have obstacles. I was in one for 18 yrs. We have 3 kids but never married because every time we went out there were stare downs from many black women. I believe he just got tired of all of the stares, rolling eyes etc. That wasn't the only reason for the split. He was talking to other females. Those female didn't care that kids were part of the equation. He just didn't value family like I did.
@@_theerealnono_7694 this is what I'm trying to understand. Tony is not even with a full black woman himself. And from what Katherine is saying, her black man put a baby in her and then went on to MARRY a white woman. So why is she so afraid of non black men?
I'm open to interracial dating and have dated white men to open my dating pool of available eligible men. In my opinion, true love is worth the hassle as long as you know your worth, have values and standards. It's especially important to keep your legs closed!
Restored Hope This is the ONLY issue I disagree with Tony on. And honestly black women must do what feels right to them. These black guys are not valuing themselves. That is a FACT!
Like Tony would say! STAY OFF YO BACK 😂 LOL
Exactly I agree. I’ve dated white and black and there is really not much difference in my opinion. A guy is a guy lol. It’s truly about how the male is raised and if he has values as you said.
@@ClaraCouturexo 🤣👏👏👏
@@Metaphysicalmindspace777 You got your feelings hurt
A lot of black women refuse to date outside of their race because they feel white and/or other men can't relate to them but do black men honestly understand the "black woman's struggle" any better than white/other men🤔 If so, why do they leave? And why do they themselves date other instead of black?? Just curious
I always felt a white man couldn’t fully understand me as a black woman or our history. Our relationship with our natural hair, weave, mixed girls being the face of beauty for the full black woman and other complicated subjects. Also I always worried about having mixed kids and seeing how they’re treated better than full black children I don’t want people to idolize my child’s beauty and In my mind I know it’s because of her white features . I need someone who can understand me from a place of experience. That will feel more authentic I believe. But I’m not attracted to most black men. I think it’s because past experiences with father figures and being abandoned. My emotions don’t click. Still working on healing.
Black children can go through the same identity crisis if they're not whats considered "black", if they're different or not ghetto, hood stereotypes, it's all in parenting. I think the issue is more so on putting value on outsiders perception. If you're in a interracial relationship with no issues it shouldn't matter what anyone else thinks. Also, black men don't often try to understand black women, they're no different.
I don't know you but find yourself first before you go with anybody
In light of this video, can you do one addressing colorism in the black community?
Yes please
Colorism is in every community not just black for example dark skin latinos/latinas get hate from the more european/spaniard looking ones same for mexicans and asians
SoundMind what’s your point
morbid dom the point is that the “colorism” argument is a copout/excuse because every group everybody likes lighter skin and nice features sadly due to european colonization and them setting the standard of beauty
SoundMind she asked him to make a video on colorism and you responded that it exists in all communities. What is the point of stating that as if it negates anything? Colorism in each community is going to be different for men and women.
I’m not using the hue of any skin to date men! I’m guided by values, God-fearing qualities, fiscal responsibility, emotional intelligence and many other critical factors that will lead to a healthy relationship. I’m approached by men of all races, as beauty and intelligence are recognized regardless of race. This black woman dates across all racial or ethnic groups. I’m especially not loyal to any one group. I’m loyal to my happiness to choose the right wholesome man to go on this life journey!
I agree with you 💯
Same!
I think black woman should definitely date outside their race if they are attracted to other races. I know many black men who arent checking for black women. The women they be checking for that are "black" are the women who are light skin or biracial. Tony Gaskin is married to a biracial woman. There's nothing against the Gaskins but in reality for darker skinned black women we are at the bottom of the barrel to some black men. Growing up I loved black men and they didnt like me at all. So that's why I started dating outside my race and found a lot more white guys who were attracted to me than my own people. And I have more things in common with white guys than I do my own people. So that's why I think darker skinned black women like me shouldn't be confined to dating a group of men who clearly disown us and arent loyal to us. Also, just because yall the same race doesnt mean yall share similar cultures. Or just because yall different races doesnt mean yall have different cultures. Me and my bf had similar upbringings and we are different races.
What is a race ?.
There’s someone for everyone.
I’m here for this one! Interracial dating is NOT easy!
I see fine white man all the time. But look here, ain’t nobody got time to be going through all the extra challenges that an interracial relationship brings.
Preacchhhhhhhh!!😂‼️‼️‼️
White men have issues too! The difference between a white woman and a black woman is we date differently if a White woman finds an issue she steps back , but some of us Black women we think some how we think "God bless us with fixing power" smh. If God send you a white man God will give him Knowledge how to deal with you and you with him ! The biggest challenge is to stay to the end , so let's not talk bad about our black men , but know that what is for you no one can take it...... Your will Lord! Not my will! Amen!
That's your opinion
I remember when one of my friends was getting married to her white boyfriend ..she kept telling us "you can't help who you love" ...for all the years they were married ..she was the one who always made the money ...bought the houses ...the travel etc ...and I guess everyone always thought it was him .....now they are divorced...I didn't ask for details ....she just said "i'm tired of being unhappy"
As a Black woman I really don't care who people want to be with ...just don't disrespect me ...go do you and be happy ..when I ask my male friends why they date WM ....they can't say ...they can never articulate ...
They didn't want to answer you because either 1. They know you won't like the answer or 2. They don't want to face their "truth".
As long as it makes sense to them that's fine.
That's because those black men are sleep walking through life and have been oppressed. They may even have hidden anger towards black women... Mommy issues perhaps. My brother tried to hide his real thoughts & feelings about his white wife for years. I knew there was no way he loved her. I over heard him talking to his friends one day saying " I can't stand that white b**ch and I made the biggest mistake having a child by her." He told us the complete opposite because he didn't want to look dumb. He's obviously stuck now. His wife has admitted to me that he has slept with 100s of other women and he has 2 kids by other women, but she refuses to let him go. It's like she's determined to keep him as a pet/slave and take his money, because fr fr no else attractive wants her. The way she even got him his by preying on his weakness... Love deprivation. He told her how emotionally unavailable our mom was growing up. She knew then exactly what to say to him in high school to lock him in. Everything our mother neglected to say to him growing up. Everything black girls in our area never knew to say to keep a black man. She's also able to remain completely logical during an argument with my brother. She doesn't try to scare off the black women who are always after my brother. She simply resorts back to her original tactics... Fake love and adoration. It has worked for 20 years.
@@juju7530 Wow! Just wow!
I finished the video. I hope that nobody comes for Tony because he said the truth! I’m in a very loving interracial relationship and my kids are biracial. It’s not easy when people are so ignorant. Anyway, Men are going to be men regardless of their race. So, if you’re looking for a come up or special treatment 🤷🏾♀️ Thank you again, Tony and you and your family stay blessed!
The Almighty Lord Has BigBro& His Family Sheild In The Blood as he continues to be a Real SERVANT of The Most High. God bless sis.🙏🙏🙏
COACH Natisha Momma Tish1 May God continue to bless you too.
COACH Natisha Momma Tish1 yes and amen Coach Momma Tish!!! God will protect Tony and his family because he is doing the work of God!
LaVette thank you for saying this. You have person experience with this and admit that there is additional pressure placed on interracial couples and biracial children. It bothers me that people turn a blind eye and act like this is not a real issue.
@@GoodGrief101 Amen APTTMH🙌🙋♀️ thank you
Great video Brother Tony. And u were 100% right. The truth hurts. U cant date someone as a novelty and also u have to understand the struggles and stereotypes that come with a particular race. U struck a nerve for ppl that ddnt want to hear the truth.
For me I was raised not like most white children. I was adopted at birth. My mom and dad were an interracial couple. My dad white and my mom was Filipino but alot of ppl thought she was black or Caribbean. My dad loved my mom. I was raised to embrace color. As I got older my dad was scarred for me to date interracial because of the backlash he took from society and family. Part of my family who helped raise me were from Jamaica. And I gravitated to that culture. Our motto is "Out of many we are one people." So we embrace difference and color. That's why it's been common for me to date outside my race.
It was never about a black issue. I primarily dated Caribbean women. Because we have a different view in life. But the black American women I have dated were because not just a physical attraction but personality, faith, morals, and internal components. So yes the majority of women I dated were black. But i have always allowed myself to be open in dating all colors and races. But it has to be beyond just color. But the color of their heart, mind, and personality. I dont know if my comment helps. But just stating my life. I never asked to be raised the way I was in a multi cultural and interracial family. But I was. I guess God had a special path in my life. To see the beauty in everyone😇❤
I’m an African American Licensed Professional Counselor in Alabama! I agree we have to be the catalyst of change!
I have dated out of my race for the past 12 years. I don't agree with society when they say . The stereotype is that black men have temper problems. I don't agree! But my experience white men have really bad temper problems. Because they are spoiled. Not all but most. I also dated Hispanic. My best was with a PUERTO RICAN man. And that was because we were both in church. Sisters are like to share with you , allow God to chose that man for you. It doesn't matter the race. We all have problems and issues when God chose the right one he doesn't discremenate. Its not about being with the person who can deal with your positive it's about finding the person that can deal with the negative part of you. Whether he's black white hispanic or whatever race. He loves you with good and bad....
Because GOD makes NO mistakes we do.
Race does matter have y'all forgot about the hanging of bm.
There a lot of good men it's about finding the right man. I'm speaking from experience ladies.
Here in the UK there is a high rate of mixed relationships but they never go to the end.
The majority are between working class blackmen and working class white women who are usually fat.
You don't need a degree to know why these fat women are going with blackmen. White men don' t want them.
What ive seen from my friends who have been with white women, is that seemed to have comprised themselves to be in the relationship and forgetten who they were for bottom of the shelf women who oly bring thier white skin.
There was a white woman who i worked with who always spoke badly about black women and always reffered to them as that blackwoman, that black woman over there and said with such contempt.
Yet her boyfriend is black!
Does that sound like a woman who was genuine in a mixed relationship?
The grass is not always greener on the other side.
The AGENT has left the building What slim and rough.
AB C and not forgetting African men seeking British passports.
This is so true. I see this in my own country. The men bring women from overseas and i know they are the least desirable just to say that they have a wyt woman.
You are so right. I have heard of interracial couple using racial insults against each other when they quarrel and I said now the truth about how they really feel about each others race is coming out.
😂😂😂😂😂ffs definitely facts , bare of them Up north leeds , Newcastle etc and in London Clapham junction , Battersea etc .
I was wondering the same of black men. Are they content in being black because as soon as they become successful they feel like they need to get a white, puerto rican, asian or mixed woman because they are a trophy along with their wealth. This conversation can really go deeper on both sides.
This message needs to be heard by BLACK MEN🙏🏾
And black women need to hear a message as well. But people don't want to hurt your feelings.
@@itsliveagain5360 I feel great, I have always had my pick and choose on either side....but i want my black king.
@Jamilla Dobson precisely why the comment was made. Thanks 😉
BM are the main ones who need to hear it! They do this more than anyone but who teaches them??
Bollox . Get a life s .
15 min in. Me: 😂😂 Tony, I'm not dealing with your shenanigans today.
😂😂😂he talking chit !!! I've watched a few of his videos and this man talks complete chit .
"Do you love your skin LaTosha?" LOL Tony is the realest!!!!
Tony said what he said lol 😂 nothing but the truth.
Right
I’m in an interracial relationship and trust me folks, humans are humans. It’s actually more work. Everything he’s saying is truth... Listen
Technically , what is a race ?.
i've dated white men, what i now realize is the attraction i have to a black man has to do with our immediate comfortably of both being black.
Yea
💩💩💩💩💩💩💩🤥🤥🤥🤥🤥
Even when people have opinion, I'm still gonna like what i like, if you're a true Christian, you'd understand, even if you may not relate
Can you elaborate? Cause your comment is a bit confusing to me.
Please elaborate more.
I was waiting on Tony to respond, I'm the only person that can understand what I type
@@dorisjohns9861 SMH
Exactly right.
Too many generalizations. Assumptions about what a white man is thinking....
To each their own, just be authentic and let it be real. I'm white, married to a white man. We only have biracial grandchildren. My daughter will not look at a white man, only Hispanic men. My stepdaughters will not look at a white man, only black. I'm not sure if either has ended well for them. They have both ended up with children alone, perhaps for this very reason. They are closed minded to their own race and don't authentically fall in love, instead solely focused on dating outside their race. If they just looked at a person based off who they are, not the color of their skin things might work better for them. I love all my grandchildren & wish everyone could love every race, but pick by character/rather than skin color. It's been 2 totally different stories for them, my stepdaughter has 2 children by the same black guy, who had like 6 others pg & never wanted her, however she chose to go back & make a second child with him. He still is with the other woman, not her. My daughter married someone from Honduras & he got deported/due to him beating on her & landed in jail. He was a hard worker, but in his culture they beat their women/sleep with multiple women. My point/choose by character, like my stepdaughter had a wonderful black man before the one she had children by & didn't want him, he was wonderful. I hope I said this well & didn't offend anyone, that's not my intention by any means. Everyone, be blessed!! Best wishes for a happy/healthy/authentic relationship/despite our race/color/exc...
@Jamilla Dobson I'm not trying to be racist at all. I love everyone, just saying they should choose based on character, rather than race. I'm sorry if it came off that way to you, just simply agreeing with what Tony was stating. My best friend is biracial, from head start all the way through school. I just feel they chose bad character in the men they chose, even if they were with their own race I'd feel the same. I love my grandchildren to the ends of the earth & am thankful for their fathers who helped create them, despite the circumstances & the way everything ended in those relationships. Infact, my daughters husband (who beat her) I still feel bad, that he's gone from their life & how something that could have been so beautiful, ended in heartbreak. I have cried many tears for him, despite his actions! To each their own, everyone matters to me despite their race, nationality, gender, exc... I feel our children just went about it in the way Tony is saying isn't a good idea.
@@samanthaadkins5551 You didn't say anything wrong. Unfortunately there are a lot of white women who go for non white men for the wrong reasons and things don't end well. Best of luck to your stepdaughter. Hopefully she'll figure things out.
Interesting
Interesting insight! I pray their hearts are open to choose men that will give them stability and true love.
@@bridgetrobinson5931 Thank You, agree 100%!!
Black women, there is no “shortage of men”. There is however a shortage of quality black men. Go where you’re celebrated. We are a minority. When we expand our options, our dating pool overflows with quality mate options. Don’t let any person scare you into believing that expanding your options is bad or will be a bad experience. We learned of Tony because of bad experiences with black men. I’m not saying don’t date black men, I’m saying never limit your options. You have no idea what your man looks like or who he is. Date where you’re celebrated, not tolerated. That’s the first step in meeting a quality mate.And real men don’t care what others think, they protect the women they love with pride. So have no fear.
There are problems with every man not just black men. Because if God doesn't change him, it really doesn't matter what his race is. Although society has conditioned our mind to believe that black men are the worst. Totally not true!! I can say black women should expand your horizon dating outside their race. But just make sure God is in it. Because a lot of people put on a poker face and say they love God and then they have mixture in their relationship with God. You don't want to be found stuck in that situation.
Ver Mel Women and black women especially should consider all quality mate options regardless of race. This should be a very simple and non controversial concept especially for someone claiming to be a Christian. Black women should be encouraged to date where they are celebrated and appreciated, as we are typically race loyal when it comes to dating and least desired when it comes to quality black men (especially dark skin women). A wise woman once said “one sided loyalty is for dummies”.
Why she had to be Latasha though 😂😂😂😂😂
Right and LaQuisha
Latasha is a beautiful common name for black women
"It's going to take work on either side of the aisle. ...but it's going to be more work in an interracial relationship because we live in a prejudice society." TG
The conversation that goes on behind the trenches..Wow..Systemic Oppression
Thank you Tony for being so real about this topic! As an American Hispanic woman that can pass as European, I realized early in my life the benefits and positive sides of the white culture and I disliked my own race. Because my race left a weird taste in my mouth and the white culture seemed to have it together, I wanted to use my appearance to win the benefits of being with a white man and white family. I’ve never dated a Hispanic man but have had multiple failed relationships with white men. God is speaking to me through you and I realize I’ve got work to do. Thank you for your message! It was Recieved.
I want a God fearing, gentle, warm hearted, loving, kind, hardworking man. Period.
You are right Tony G. There is a set of issues and challenges you have to really consider when you decide to date outside of your race. So far, I've had good experiences dating white men. I love black men but open to other races too.
Girl they don't want you
I like your photo.
@@beowulf5106 Thanks I'm taken
Been refreshing RUclips all day waiting on my daily dose.. thanks cousin tony 😂
You were not alone
WHEN MR. TG SAID “LISTENNNNNNNNN”,
I FELT THAT. FUNNYYYY BUT TRUTH!!!
We have a choice to be with our children and woman now black men. Slavery is over. We still recovering from togetherness as a family. But we psychologically damaged.
Good video,my experience in an interracial marriage of 18 years. Didn't start with intention of even being a couple her father has told his friends that I am the son he always wanted,being that his daughter is a only child. I have had women walk by and speak words unrepeatable here,when in stores. It doesn't happen all the time and I never offer negative energy back when approached like that,love is a power energy that has no boundaries. I was not looking for a relationship when we met,and the racial make up would not have mattered , my hope for women in general is that she attracts someone on the same vibration period. Now my wife is threatened by black women,even though we have made it for 18 years and we have had no cheating situations.Again good video, One Love!
I think you should date whoever you love regardless of race. Remember Moses sister was struck with a leprosy but age was racist against moses black wife. So we know God is against racism. As Christians
,were spiritually minded. Not carnally minded. Spirit is spirit not flesh. Im a 49 yr old man with a black dad and an italian mom. But i grew up in the black hood. So who do i date? Black or white Asian, mexican, indian, cuban or who. I live in Minnesota where people could care less who you date. When jungle fever came out. We couldn't understand what the big deal was. Its been going on for 100 years in Minnesota. Nothing new. In California they date anybody. love who you love. Its going on in the south too. Everytime i go to Monroe Louisiana. I see all types of mixed couples everywhere in the mall and everywhere.We cant be that closed minded, then were just as bad as the prejudice people. Times have changed. Maybe God sent your spouse , but you didn't recognize them because they were of another race. Think about it
@chick2353 The Bible doesn't say if he was black but he was Jewish. We know there's no black Jews. And obviously what Mariam did was wrong because God punished her for it. It wasn't part of their culture it was wrong. There was no Jim Crow in the north it was only in the south. Prince the singer and Morris Day from the time are biracial and they were born in the 50's both in their 60's plus i know alot of in the 70's Ave 80's. The singer El Debarge and his brothers are biracial in their 60's from Michigan. Trust me we didn't really understand the big deal about Jungle fever. I was in my 20's with a white mom when the movie came out, and had many many black friends with white, mexican and asian parents. So we just thought of is as more entertainment than people really still stuck. My grandma from Louisiana told me that in America if you have any black in your black. She taught to love everyone and be proud of my whiteness, but to always remember that im just a black man with a white mom. If we dont date out of our race because their not our race. Then were just as prejudice as the whites who teach their kids not to date out of their race. God made all of wonderful.
@@popa213 hi there, you could be right about the black jews or these lighter jews. The original point was that this prejudice has to stop on birth sides. I always taught my daughters to love and marry the man that loves and respect you. She married a black man from Florida, my son married a white girl that he went to school with. They both have 3 kids each. And in our family it was never it mentioned or a point of conversation of her being white. Its 2020 and were still having this conversation??? Wow! I know I'm from Minnesota and we're very liberal here ,(to liberal) But the south has to catch up and as black people we need to change our thinking. As Christians we need to be ashamed. The Bible say that we shouldn't show partiality to no on.
Antonio Sliva.
Love commet!
I agree.
Well said!
💞 🇬🇧
@@popa213 col 3:11
@@popa213 that's true, but were not Hebrew. Were gentile.
Great message. I had a white guy trying to get to know me but kept saying “I like the chocolate girls.” That wasn’t a compliment as far as I was concerned. Every time he said it I was turned off because I wanted to get to know him just for him. Not because he was white. Thank you for the truth Tony.
Yes! I experienced the same thing. They just wanna know if our juice is sweeter...
Specialjai Harris exactly
I’m a white European woman and my man is Jamaican. The chemistry between us is out of this world. We now have a little princess and our families are supportive of our relationship. ❤️
Hmmm....my, my, my. Did you go to Jamaica to get him? Jamaicans love to prey on persons on the internet, because life is hard in Jamaica, they are looking for a way out, but to each their own, glad its working out for you.
Sharing Beauty...you're saying all of that to say what?
Yall came at this women for no reason like she was saying shes an interracial relationship and shes in love. Yall are mad and miserable
Wtf! You sound like an obsessed witch with a bag of magic spells. Phallus worship.
Good luck🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Tony’s “Tom voice” is hilarious!
Tony why do you think rap music seems to be the only genre of music that is so disrespectful to black women. Why are African American men so disrespectful to there own, what do you think is the root cause?
This is not completely accurate. All rap music is not disrespectful to black women. If you think that, you aren't listening to the right rap music. Also, if you pay attention to lyrics there are some R&B songs that are disrespectful to women. You just have to be careful what kind of music you are listening to in general.
Trust me, when you in interracial relationship, you don't really think about each others colour. My husband is what, i couldn't care less if he's Asian black etc.
I am white, my husband is black. We live in the South. We have had challenges, but have been together almost 20 years. Collectively we have 10 children. I am his 2nd wife and he also has children by another woman. All the children get along and I have a good relationship with both of the mothers of his children. I attend parties and such for both families. It's different for each person. I, nor him, ever tolerated any nonsense with our kids or otherwise. We never had any concerns for anyone's negative feelings about our marriage. But like I said, each person is different. People stare but we smile, wave and move on. Racism will always exist on both sides of the isle, it's all in how we respond to it.
100% Thank You and God bless you and your family. 🙏
I have my book, enjoying it! Bought 4more for gifts 🎁 Thanks to you an family! God Pour out in his life 🙏
Not “ Are you happy to be Black “ 👏🏾😝
Connect with people on a human level.
Glad to see a video today.
Lmao this is true. My white home girl said if things don’t work out with her white husband that she’ll be going back to dating black men bcuz they like thicker women lol smh. It’s always an aesthetic/fetish for the most part.
Ideally, my husband will be black because like u said, we can relate on more levels. I don’t discriminate. I am attracted to all races and I I’ve attracted men from all kinds of races (literally lol) but I see myself marrying a black man. However, I am open and don’t see myself worrying about the smoke that comes with it because if the love is genuine, I’ll stand up for it and so will my husband. I don’t want anymore passive men, I had 1 in the past (he was black) and always found myself defending myself from his family while he barely said anything. Mind u, I’m a fairly reserved/laid back person so they were trying to take advantage of that & my kindness, but I refuse to let ppl talk to me any kind of way(.)
Ideally my husband will be a brave man of character who’s not afraid to speak his mind, stand up for me, himself, & others. Idk what race/color he’ll be, but I do prefer him to be black. Lol
This is very good! I personally never dated interracially but I definitely can’t imagine the backlash that would come from our families, friends, communities. Honestly I personally think it’s It’s hard enough for males and females to understand each other when you are the same race. I can’t imagine that pressure that interracial couples face.
Very Well Said Sis @ Coach Erica
Its mostly from society/ ignorant people you dont know. If those ignorant people ARE the people you know and consider friends, then thats another convo.
I'm 51 and have dated interracially for over 20 years and race was never an issue!
Miss Y that is definitely a blessing. I’m sure not everyone has that same experience but it’s a blessing that you have.
Tracy G unfortunately people have biases that they have to overcome if they choose to. I think the biases exist with people you know and people you bump into. The reality is racial bias is real and if we’re honest with ourselves we see it daily. This racial climate right now is just forcing people to face it whether it’s a black person who has an issue with seeing a black man with a woman of another race or vice verse. Racism and bias is real and always have been. People can no longer pretend it doesn’t exist because this racial climate has forced us to open our eyes to its reality.
Imagine...........sleeping next to and procreating with the same culture that enslaved you. Mind-blown🤯. LORD HELP.
I’ve been treated far worse by abusive black men than any white man I’ve ever dated.
@@enlightenedone7083 it's called Stockholm Syndrome........that's what you are truly saying.
I agree. Any race but that race.
@@enlightenedone7083 Same....and after a divorce from a narcissistic abusive Jamaican ex-husband I know my God has prepared my beautiful Black King for my daughter and I. Ain't settle for nothing less 💯.
Tony you said a mouth full on this one I have seen both sides my mom was married to a white man for several years both my brothers have biracial children and let me tell you from the inside lookING 👀 IN I feel that black men and women should love ❤️ one another and stick together..... to those that date other races God bless but as a black women White men tend to want to date me but I never feel a genuine connection I just LOVE BLACK MEN it’s just my preference and white men make me feel like they only want to date me because of the color of my skin that’s how I felt when I dated a white guy sooooo I’m speaking from my experience.
They used to call me white chocolate🤣🤣🤣🤣...LaTasha!!!!.....baby, the trauma is sick!!! it’s so hard... family trauma... relationship trauma... trauma from slavery... the Lord has got so much healing to help us do🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽... we’re so far behind!!!
Let me get my notebook 📒 out!! I was like Lord I’m open but...👀
bigjayking24 you’re right it’s definitely not about race and I’m not seeking another race for escape at all.
I dated interacially but left him because I saw how the world treated us! Couldn't let my children go through that. He treated me better than any man I've ever been with. I found out from a mutual driend he'd bought me an engagement ring after i graduated nursing school. I should have stayed but I think I would have been in jail because this world is so cruel. His mother hated me! I needed her approval- then. He couldn't careless. What cracked me up was his mother was born in Tokyo! His father was German and stayed neutral. His brothers and sister in-laws loved me. I was raised in an interracial community
Girl as great as he might be, you doged a bullet. When you marry someone, you marry their family. Unless he is willing to disown his mother and choose you above all don't feel bad. To be fair people want their loved one to be received well by their family as it is a uphill battle if this becomes an issue. If love and acceptance does not happen from the families, the couple must be willing to deal with the backlash (it can a little backlash it can be a lot). Most can't. Families and friends have a major influence on the longevity of a relationship. I wish you the best.
Who care about their family
Omg I was laughing the whole time because you were definitely calling me out in this video Tony. 🤣🤣🤣 I tried to date outside my race for all the wrong reasons. And you're right, I didn't have any better results in the end. It did seem like the men in other cultures did communicate with me better though. They were more upfront about not being into me anymore or only wanting me for sex, etc. And the black men I dated seem to not want to be as upfront. But again in the end the common denominator is me. I will take your advice and continue to work on my personal growth and emotional intelligence and love myself more so I will be my authentic self and that is something a man can fall inlove with and want to be serious with me. Thank you for your advice. I always enjoy watching your videos. You make me laugh and shed a lot of light on things I need to hear and you say it in a way I can receive it and I don't feel like its an attack. You're just honest. Keep being great. I am grateful for your videos. Have a blessed day.
Race is a legal construct. When everyone finally accepts this fact, the world will be a better place.
Right.. smh. People who follow race/tribal rules don't even recognize their own conditioning.
@@fatiie People don't determine who we are , ALMIGHTY GOD does .
If a persons a CHRISTIAN , all of this can create opportunities to minister to sinners .
Omg, was just contemplating this.... great timing!
Clicked on this one so fast. Now I’m 👀👂🏾 and taking notes✍🏾
He made some good points actually. Because a lot people still don't accept black people so to speak. Yeah you are right.
For me 25 years ago with my children father it was for love married for ten years, after he and I went our separate ways when I went on to date I only went to date black men because of what I was comfortable with , most attracted to and also because of what I wanted to influence my children. I realize recently I didn’t try to date white again because I did have a fear that they may not be understanding of the black culture and bi racial children ,right or wrong that was my choice.25 years ago I had no idea we would still be dealing with the mess going on today in society. I thought love would save the day .Just because I don’t love in color does not me the world feels the same. I have learned a lot about both sides. I know it’s not a rose color world we live . I could go deeper but I’ll just leave my comment here. No rebellion here just love.
People need to be aware if they choose to do interracial relationships, and that union produces children. They really need to be focused on their children's identity. Many of these children sometimes don't feel they belong anywhere, and they develop a host of issues, linked to people rejecting them because they are not white, hispanic, asian, or black etc. enough.
Black children have identity issues too but you’ll rarely see black people advocating for that. Why do you care more about a mixed kid’s identity issues than a black kid’s identity issues?
@@_theerealnono_7694 exactly and that'a a good question. Are they concerned about dark skinned little girls who are told they are too dark?
@@morbiddom9587 the topic being discussed is interracial dating which will produce mixed kids, if the couple decides to have children, so this is why I am speaking about mixed kids. Do black kids have identity issues, yes they do but that's not what is being discussed here. You missed my whole point.
I liked it before I even watched it
God bless you Tony 👍🏾
Ladies, have you ever heard the term Fight black, sleep white? I just heard it said the other day and would love your thoughts...
Black men need to stand with their black women and just stop it,400 yrs of b.s. and we did stand by you no matter what,We love y’all no matter what’s going on, I can speak for myself I love all my brothers hands down,nothing better than my men, all black women are not out for yr money,I want to know how will you seduce my mind,it’s not all the time about sex,Sex doesn’t even last that long,well maybe some,anyway we need to to get back to respecting us.i love y’all and nothing can deter me from y’all. I try hard as hell not to be a nusiance I want a brother to know I am in his corner. I love y’all so much.
Reporting for class!
When the movie Django came out I was dating a Russian man and we went to go see it. It was so uncomfortable cos when the movie started we were holding hands but when the painful parts of the movie came on I suddenly pulled my hand away from his and he looked at me like "are you ok" and I just ignored him for the rest of the movie...and I could tell he felt bad but I just couldn't help it.
Interesting how black people who date out always have the perception that people from other groups are automatically better and easier to get along with only to still end up having conflict in those relationships. In order to have peace you have to bring the peace.
Most times you expect certain behavior before you even have an exchange with a certain individual, you will project that attitude onto person which often impacts the reaction you get back. Just see and treat people the way you want to be treated regardless of who or what they are.
Well said!!
Was just thinking about this! I’m all ears.
My name is Latasha and yes I love my skin
You Got the best skin in world be proud...
Instead of allowing God to lead us into a relationship marriage and love, rather we choose based on what we see. Racism exists because WE see color, love, true love loves unconditionally.
Why should I be judged due to my choice in a woman or vise versa.... because WE'RE HUMAN, FLAWED!
I used to date White dudes, but i don't hate, do your thing
I love my black men but other races catered to me more I didn't have to constantly remind them of the Queen I am . Where I live now I see more black women marrying and staying married to the other race. It's something wrong there we need to love and cherish our sister and brothers more but love who you love as long as he treats you right.
@@shaswai Yep, same in this neighborhood🙄
Whew tony you have been stepping on toes with these videos in the last few days👏🏾
Can you explain then why statistics show that marriages between black women and white men are less likely to end in divorce than those between black men and white/Hispanic women and between black couples period? How is what you’re saying validated in light of these statistics?
@TurquoisePurpleSky Sky I honestly think BW and non BM last bc they're attracted to each others work ethic and drive while BM and non BW relationships often stem from fetishism. Why do you think STATS are this way?
@@jenniferterry4665 Asain women and white men are the ones with the lasting relationships then it's Hispanic women and white men
NOT black women and white men
I know a white man who said he needed some one to help pay his bills , so white men are looking at black women to financially contribute if you don't you can forget about it. And you know it
@@itsliveagain5360 That's true but I said non BM not just WM.
its live again ! Go read the stats.. right behind those 2 are BW/ WM that have the most stable marriages. Black men/ other marriages fall last in stability across the board.
I feel alot of people think if they date outside their race it will be better. No arguments, more money , bigger houses.
They are sadly mistaken to find out that its nothing like that because men are men and women are women no matter what race.
Its character before color, black women have been conditioned to put being black before being a woman hence why we believe a non black man wont understand our blackness. Your womanhood is just as important, any man who adores & cherishes you should have chance because of his character. As well as how he treats you.
I love your videos but on this one I don't agree with a lot of what you said more so because of the delivery, it almost sounds like you're advocating against interracial dating. In short the message: don't date another race to avoid working on yourself or because of a stereotype) I agree with, that's about the same as dating someone for their potential and not the reality. Also there is no such thing as a fulfilling relationship that's not going to require work no matter the race of your partner.
The problem is black women don’t want to be held accountable by black me.n and black men don’t want to be held accountable by black women when we are the only people who can truly hold each other accountable to heal!
True statement
WOW..........WORD
I need to watch and listen to this video in its entirety. I don't really have an attraction to men outside of my race. But I also feel that the Lord have verified to me through dreams that the man that He actually have for me is white. I was initially attracted to white men. But I get concerned because men get consumed with a fetish that they have with dark skinned women. And their intentions don't always be pure.
All men can fetishize women. Black men tend to fetishize black women for their butts and lips, is that going to stop black women from dating them? Some men have a fetish for a women’s hair and want to sniff it. Fetishization is not only a white or non black man trait. Don’t let people fool you. You would really be upset over a man actually liking your skin color? As long as he’s not trying to do something sick, twisted, and perverted to your skin it’s a good thing if he likes how you look.
@@morbiddom9587 I am confused by your comment a bit. Clearly you misunderstood what I was saying. I was not implying that they would do something perverted to me. Yes I know all men can look at a woman as a piece of meat. But clearly you didn't read the part about me saying that I have been with guys out of my race before. I'm talking from personal experience. As well as what others have experienced. But I said what I said. That is the way I feel. I am not saying I will never be with a white man, or another man that have a different skin tone then myself. I was just saying that is one of my concerns. Sometimes someone from a different race will mess with you, or so call date you. But in reality they still think they are better then you based off of their color. It happens a lot.
Ladenna Young I agree, there are non black men who will date black women but still see themselves as better. Black women have unique challenges to consider when dating in general. We have to watch out for racism, colorism, etc from men in general.
@@morbiddom9587 right
@@_theerealnono_7694 I don't have an issue with engaging in conversation with people on the internet. But I wish they would learn to fully comprehend what they read prior to responding. I can feel how I want to feel. But as Tony stated. I know God wants me to work on me, and allow Him to heal me. And allow Him to shape me into the woman that He created me to be. Before I get to serious about dating anyone. It don't matter what color they are to be honest. I need healing and deliverance. I will not be no good to anybody if I'm not. So ah yeah. Smh.
I'm a white looking woman (I'm actually half Lebanese), married to a black man. Together 20 years, 5 children. It's not easy AT ALL, but it is worth it. If you can make it through you'll be a very strong couple and strong individuals. It just depends on how much work you're willing to do in your relationship.
I prefer a black man, but I am open to other races.
Technically , what is a race ?.
It is always someone in the family or friend circle who do not like interracial relationships and it is sad.
Yup !! Went to one wedding and the grooms father would not come to the wedding. Mom came last minute.
Kenisha Perkins let me guess. Was it the white or Asian side whose family members didn’t come/show up late?
@@heyyashleyyy2669 lol
Yup. I was raised Greek Orthodox I’m not saying I didn’t fall in love from my heart. However, the truth is right here in this video. All of it. . “You gonna play yourself” -->100% God Bless you and your family Mr Gaskins. Keep spitting the truth.
Hello, I’m curious if you found or others of your faith have success in the dating scene as I am of the same faith and the pool is small
D the pool was definitely small and from what I’m seeing it still is. I’m focusing on healing , working on me and taking care of my son for now but it’s always been a problem
Evening Blessed Tribe family 🙏🙌🙏
Heeeyyy
@@coachingwithp Heya Tribe fam's 🙏🙏🙏
Men are men..keep your standards....but if you open your options up to other races..you have a greater chance at finding happiness...don't have a scarcity mindset....and yes, let it be organic, dont just go for someone just due to their race.
The grass is not greener on the other side. Relationships take work period.
Truth! Interracial dating is tough!
As a mixed person I can confirm youre telling the truth about internal confliction of race and outward pressures + perception. One of the first things people usually ask me is where are you from or what are you. Saying anything of my Black + White blood triggers people and saying Im part native triggers some more so. Its like many see me as a betrayer by blood or selling out or something. Meanwhile my family history helped many people and races during war times and slavery. Not gonna lie. It hurts some and Im not sure if that pain will ever go away even if I know Im a good person because society tries to force my hand. This doesnt even include racism, colorism, age discrimination (22 but Im 30) and peoples jealously.
Yeah I’m mixed race and now my kids are mixed race and people always wanna know we’re I’m from or why I don’t speak 🗣 Spanish and it happens too often
I had a friend that constantly went after white women.He had 0 love for black women. Multiple times the women that he dated...their families did not like him simply for being black. They wouldn't even call him by his name. He was called n!@@er on every occasion. He married a white woman and her family disowned her. When they started having children that's when they wanted to come around. He was so accepting. I was just like...why do you want their love so bad? Every single time. I met a guy that looked like he was going to the NBA once upon a time. White girl stopped taking birth control behind his back and had twins. Her reason was why does it matter? Were gonna get married anyway. Her family was calling him son, had him at the dinner table all that. A bad car accident ended his budding career. He said she flipped. Broke up with him, her family started calling him ni@@£r, he was no longer welcome. It just blew him away. Then all of a sudden he wanted a black woman. I was done. Now that you have a different future from what you thought you want us. Smh.
Wow smh
Where was Mr gaskins when I swore off of dating black men because of the way I was treated by them. I literally stopped dating black men and I have not been in a relationship since. I tried dating white men but unfortunately I find a lot of them have fetishes for women who have extremely dark skin like myself and they don't understand what black women or people have to go through.
So they would say things like "you're sassy, or you're being too loud, or you're difficult to communicate with".
I'm sorry but white men just don't understand. I gave them chances but I wanna stick to my own kind.
Needless to say, unless it happens organically I am not interested in dating outside of my race ever again. I'd rather wait for a man of my own race and culture who already understands me so we can build together. Instead of having to deal with the challenges that come up in an interracial relationship.
Ty for this video Mr gaskins.
Well I disagree I m happy to be Greek and proud for it I feel no problem with it but I m also proud that my fiance is igbo nigerian and he loves his culture he is traditional man. I love nigerian films music and specially igbo culture from the time I discover it and he is also learning Greek with passion. Loves god and has strong ethical values . He is not the most sexy black guy but has a golden heart and a laugh like a small river. He loves me for my funny caracter and my pointy nose who reminds him kleopatra. His father likes me because I know well their culture and we say igbo proverbs and my family likes him because he has integrity and is a good businessman. Never asked anything from me. On top of that I m 10 years older and we will adopt a black igbo kid or two as I can't do, because I love them and would love my kids to be brought up like igbos but with a touch of Greek spirit too. So the main thing is to find who you feel happy with and who u can understand and he can understand you. As a person individually.
If you are doing great in your relationship then he IS NOT talking to you
@@clarkclarke and that's exactly how u fail to take the message of what I say there
Lol, "lis-san (listen) lis-san get yo volleyball scholarship", Tony u crackin me up with that!🤣😂 woohoo🤣😂
I’ve been interracial dating for six years now . We value and love one another . My boyfriend is white and I’m black . Glad to see a video . It doesn’t matter what race you are .