My Entitled Family Physically Assaulted and Disowned Me for Cheating on My Boyfriend with My Brot...
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- Опубликовано: 11 июл 2024
- 00:00 1st sotry:
My [25F] family froze me out after I started dating my partner [28M] but now they want to be back in my life? (throwylaway in r/relationships)
I(27M) confronted my GF(30F) after she accused me of cheating on her. She sent me proof but it looks fake. ([deleted] in r/Infidelity)
19:10 3rd story:
AITAH for wanting a bit of space from my daughter after I discovered she isn't mine biologically? (u/Time-Wedding-4180 in r/AITAH)
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Story 1: So you tried to break up with Ben like 4-5 times, and he and your family just decided that it wasn’t happening? You cheated, and that’s an awful thing, but you tried to break up with Ben before the affair became physical. I guess by default you’re NTA.
I guess your right because Ben is controlling as well as OP's family.
She'd effectively broken up with Ben all those times and Ben definitely seems unhinged. They were all dumb teenage high schoolers. Was that even really cheating at that point? I wouldn't even really consider them to have been in an actual relationship at that point because it was clearly a one-sided effort.
No she cheated with a guy that was willing to sleep with a girl that had a boyfriend. How much you want to bet that thru the LDR he was sleeping around and most likely he will cheat on her again. She might have been 17 but he was 20.
I don't see it as cheating when she said "we are over," and his response was "lol, no."
The moment she said they were done, they were done. Coercing a child (or even an adult if that was the circumstance) to stay in a relationship, and then getting mad that she doesn't want you is messed up.
OP was an actual hostage in the relationship therefore not cheating.
The last story is a perfect example of how people don't care about men's mental health.
For real
S1- at this point i don't really see it as cheating. She tried multiple times to break up with Ben but him and her toxic af family wouldn't let her.
She needs to keep her family out of her life....they are horrible.
S2- OP dodged a huge bullet because she's ridiculous.
Try to break up multiple times and keep getting told "No, you're not", not just by the person who you're trying to break up with, but both the families And the church you're a member of, cheating may be the only way out. OP is lucky all they did was disown her.
I wouldn't go back to that family.
Definitely they give me the vibes that they'd be OK with him even physically abusing her
Story 1:
She isn’t an AH for trying to break up, but she is an AH for dating her sibling’s bully
Crazy that people can be married with children and a husband and still long for their birth families. I just don’t get it that family you created with the husband and child is your family now and they are simply the people who kicked you out and spread. Lies about you.
The brother slaps her and she doesn’t press charges? Then considers letting her son around him? Really??
That last story hit me so hard. Like not only is OP trying to function while in a perpetual state of shock, but his poor daughter too. Like, I remember being 16. My parents also got divorced when I was 1. But If I found out my dad wasn’t my dad and it was some big secret from my mom… duuuuude. I can’t imagine.
Then again my situation is reversed. My dad is the one who cheated and long story short, kind of a POS but my mom is wonderful 💜
Story 1 time to go NC with the family. There's no gain in reconciliation. Story 2 she didn't even hear his side of the Story and she used his deepest secrets when she was mad against him and even cheated on him. And when the truth came out she wants to crawl back. Op did the right thing in telling her to kick rocks. She obliterated their trust. Story 3 good for him to take time to decompress and assess what he wants to do. Finding out your child is not yours is a big shock and either decision he takes either he stays or go is fine
10:14
Timestamp For The 2nd Story Incase Anyone's Wondering
Story 1: Nice of the family to blame her when Ben and the family did not allow for them to break up. I'm of the mindset that she didn't actually cheat on Ben because she was an actual hostage in the relationship therefore she has no responsibility to the relationship. Also was John a bully or was he just a 13 year old asshole like how 13 year olds are?
She did say he was a bully, so basicly he was a cheater and bully.
"He told me he would KHS if I broke up with him"
That seals it for me, you aint in the wrong. You tried to leave him 4 separate times, and on the last one he did one of the dirtiest abuse tactics on this planet. You shouldn't have cheated, i guess, but you went OUT OF YOUR WAY to do it the right way, and these people would not let you. So your options appear to be: consign yourself to a miserable, loveless life with a toxic prick, or go out with the guy you actually like and see if he'll finally take the hint.
And to anyone out there: "I wanna break up with you" is fully their choice. Thats not something you respond with "No" to, and if you threaten to off yourself for it you are pond scum. You are trying to force another human being to stay around you, who dose not want to be around you, for exclusively your sake. Thats selfishness honestly, on the level of cheating, and it aint love.
Story 1.NTA. What was she supposed to do? Stay in a relationship due to force and abuse? The boyfriend and both sets of parents are unhinged. She was right to cheat
Normally I would be against the cheater, but I'm willing to give my support, seeing as how messed up her family sounds. She sounds like she had no control over her own life
Normally cheating is bad, but this Ben guy seems to be an abuser on so many levels
I woldn't considering cheating at this point... She wanted to break up with him and they didn't want that. So for me wasn't a romantic relationship, but more a forced relationship with the abuser or some toxic person
This is the second time where cheating was justifiable. Both of the times, abuse was involved.
Um she didn’t cheat on Ben. She had broken up with him. It’s not her fault that crazy Ben didn’t accept the breakup.
S1. To answer OP’s question: no, she should not reconcile with her family. It does not sound like they’ve forgiven her, they only want back in because of the grandchild. I’d also have a word with her sister’s Husband with HR present or something, to ensure he knows not to pass on details of her life to her family.
OP was definetly an asshole to cheat on her BF, especially with someone who “bullied” (clarifying info needed) her brother, but so was Ben for refusing to break up with her and emotionally manipulating her, and so was her family trying to force her to stay in a relationship with Ben.
10:14 Second story
Story 3:Keep in touch with your child but cut out the lying snake.
S1 is so crazy!
She didn't cheat. She broke up with him but he and her family didn't accept it and coerced her to continue to be with him. It wasn't cheating in my book.
s1- It's not cheating. She tried to break up with Ben before she started a relationship with John. She was in a lose/lose situation with her family and Ben. Ben seems to be extremely controlling and abusive. This poor girl was just trying to get some autonomy in her life.
John was on his own gonna be a problem regardless of ben
People always say "leave the relationship dont cheat" poor girl tried THREE TIMES to leave the relationship. Thats about the time drastic measures are needed, and screwing someone else is drastic enough.
Usually, I do not condone cheating and co sider people who do it as scum of the Earth. In this situation, though, things are different. She broke up with him, and he was delusional enough to just say "lol no", and her family did the sane. In this I stance, she isn't the asshole, but it's the only circumstance where I can consider cheating excusable.
Story 1, is hot mess on multiple levels.
Story 3 feel so sorry for this man n others just like him everyone telling him to shut up and get over it really makes me angry about mens mental health not being taken seriously like everyone who said a word against him n his decisions should fuck off and go listen to some of DAX songs about men 😢
Dax songs lmao
For real.
Like a lot of commenters said, OP did break up with the dude. But say she hadn’t, she was SEVENTEEN! That wouldn’t excuse her actions, but her being only seventeen would definitely mean it wouldn’t justify kicking her out of the family (let alone the physical a*use). From the title, I was expecting that OP did this when she was, like, 27.
OP never cheated on anyone. She broke up with Ben. It’s not her fault that he ‘refused to accept’ that. Not how it works.
Agreed
Please reread the first part. She meet someone than tried to break up. When someone say they tried to break up usual it code words for I was going to or we talked about not seeing each other or saying let's take a break. According to the poster own word she was already in a casual relationship with the guy she meet from the part for sometime. It you want to break up you tell them the relationship is over.
@@sashwing7726 ‘tried’ because her partner refused to accept it. He pretended it never happened and then threatened to kill himself, it sounds like she was pretty clear
@@connorsullivan2745 hmm you think so after the original post she said she was in communication with the new guy through social media and than broke up for 2 weeks. You can blame outside forces but at the end it's still you choice. She made a choice even if the boyfriend say he's going to do that that doesn't mean you should keep seeing the person. Even if your family tries to convince you otherwise the didn't for you to stay with this person. I'm not say that the boyfriend and family are blameless. I'm saying she need to own the situation as well. By she does that in the first post when she acknowledged sleeping with someone else while still in a relationship was wrong. Also people are forcing certain aspect that are not true. The person she married to was her brothers bully back in school more than likely is the reason for the rejection. She also literally tell people why she did what she did people just aren't listening. She said being with her husband made her feel free I doubt she to the boyfriend this during any conversation. Most people generally would like to know why your leaving. Oh before you say it the new guy had a reputation and was seen as a bad influence this includes the bullying it also seems like the parents knew who he was as well.
@@sashwing7726she cheated. But the boyfriend wouldnt allow her to break up so thats still bad. If he did then shed have hundred percent of the blame
Story 1: Op is definitely NTA, I’d say it’s better to cut out the toxic and stick with the people who’ll support Op,
3: she's your daughter, you raised her. DNA doesn't make a family. Be mad at the wife but don't take it out on her.
What happens when OPs son does something out of line with the "morals" of OPs' nuclear family? They will cause him physical harm and kick him out?
I'd say keep NC and tell them to never contact you again
should have let him self delete
Wait, John was a bully at THIRTEEN? Everyone sucks at 13.
You broke up with him several times but he denied it. So sorry you didn't cheat. They were all just being ridiculous and forcing you to stay in a relationship you didn't want
Wait she didn’t even cheat lol. Edit: after hearing the story everyone including OP is a AH in some way but the brother
If you're going to write a reddit people... please, just use fake names. It's hard to keep up with single letters, especially if you use the entire alphabet
So she wouldnt give excuse to brother who got bully? Seriously? He is your brother and you had zero explanation? Even though you said you wrre sooo close with your sibling?. Gosh. Why would they want to reconnect with you?
I think the reason why they were so angry with you and kept choosing ben is because you were dating your sibling's bully. But you made it sounds like everything revolves around Ben. And even after 8 years, you try to minimize the wrong doing of your husband. Well i guess that was why none of your sibling try to reach out to you even though you were SOOO CLOSE.
Maybe. But the parents and bf forced her into a relationship
@@leafyishereisdumbnameakath4259 i mean.. between bully and bf whom they already knew which one do you think parents would choose?
I think it was not about religion at all. Their child told them that he/she getting bullied. Years later the other daughter prrsented the bully as a new partner and wanted to break up her bf. Parents gave their reasons why it was bad decision including in religious way. Daughter then proceed to keep her relationship until they got found out. Brother slapped her because even though her sister knew the history of bullying, she still chose the bully. Got disowned. And none of her siblings contacted her. Now the parents try to reconnect, but weird, the sister still hasnt contact OP even though her husband is co worker with OP. I guess the siblings are not over it yet.
Story 1 is an ESH but to varying degrees though. Only thing OP did wrong was get involved with someone who was bullying her brother. Thats the only thing I'll say she's the AH on and thats despite the cheating and my stance on that one. Not giving her a pass but given the situation, that was a VERY MINOR issue in comparison to the who. Her parents and Ben however are definitely the AHs. Same with her siblings.
S1 you broke up in your brain and he tried to force a relationship. You didnt cheat
Nah she isn’t, the cheat is horrible and shouldn’t of happened but she was basically forced to stay in a relationship because her family wanted her too, i feel bad for Ben but I am nit shocked she ended up cheating. Honestly this might sound bad but at the end of the day if my child(not grown married adult) but child cheated I would be disappointed but I wouldn’t kick them out, I feel like show her instead that it was wrong or disciplining her would of been the best option, I honestly feel so bad for Ben but her parents reaction and the disownment was over the top and just disgusting tbh.
@@LolsIssajoke don't feel bad for Ben, he refused to let her leave and used her family to force the "relationship" to keep going. Even threatening after the last time she was trying to get away.
This isn't cheating, if someone breaks up with you, it's over. Ben was still in a relationship, OP broke up prior.
The comments are a perfect demonstration of how society isn’t nearly as strict with women it is with men. If OP were a guy he absolutely wouldn’t be shown this kind of mercy.
Not true at all. Most of these reddit stories are about guys and how women are evil
There's no excuse for cheating. Op is tah for that.
She is not, she tried to break up with ben multiple times before the affair. Her parents, siblings and Ben didn't let her.
@@EshaSinghRathoreyou didn't read!! She started cheating before she tried to brake up!! She slept with John the bad boy before trying to brake up with Ben! That's why she tried to brake up with Ben!! John had better $ex basically and he was a bad boy her parents didn't like!! She was basically dating John behind everyones back! She's the bad guy
@@19floyed no lol, she tried to breakup before the affair started - she basically rebelled against the family and ben by cheating since they wouldn't let her breakup.
S1: every one in this story is a major AH.
How is OP an AH.
Imagine that your sister went out with the person who tortures you.
The cheating is a symptom of a problem.
“I accept full responsibility..."
"I was 17..."
Do you take responsibility or are you gonna use age as an excuse?"
Why do you expect a woman to be capable of taking responsibility in the first place?
I don't think she was in the wrong. She was coerced into that relationship by Ben, her family and the entire community.
@@gostavoadolfos2023 Coerced is a very strong word for this context simp. She told him “I wanna see other people”, he thought she’s being funny about asking for an open relationship and thought of it as a joke, and she immediately hopped on another guy’s meat.
@@alwaysright3943 Lolol
Cheating and dishonesty are decisions people make. There are those men, women, and others who take responsibility, regardless of circumstances, including age.
@@gostavoadolfos2023 Coerced, perhaps... She actively sought out a relationship instead of standing her ground.
So you chose your brother bully over your family
Story 1 op is the yta
Nah she isn’t, the cheat is horrible and shouldn’t of happened but she was basically forced to stay in a relationship because her family wanted her too, i feel bad for Ben but I am nit shocked she ended up cheating. Honestly this might sound bad but at the end of the day if my child(not grown married adult) but child cheated I would be disappointed but I wouldn’t kick them out, I feel like show her instead that it was wrong or disciplining her would of been the best option, I honestly feel so bad for Ben but her parents reaction and the disownment was over the top and just disgusting tbh
@@LolsIssajoke sleeping with someone is one thing, sleeping with your brother's bully is another level of evil, I wonder how honest OP has been in this story. everything from her family sounds awful yes, but if one of my children begins a relationship with one of their siblings bullies then yeah, you earn a disownment pretty quickly
@@LolsIssajokeNobody cares about what you would do because you have loose morals lol
So Ben is to blame for her cheating and her brother is to blame for bulging in school?
Basically this story proves that as long as a woman gives a good excuse! Its ok for her to cheat on her partner! She cheated THEN tried ro brake up with her ex, this hints she got d wiped plus john was a bad boy that her parents didn't like! He was perfect! She gave up her family for thr bad boy and moved close to be with him then married and had a son with the bad boy!!! Its so obvious what happened! Thats why she feels guilty and wants the family back! SHES THE BAD GUY HERE!!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣 AND EVERYONE DEFENDING HER!
Iwl nah the the op of the first story isn’t the asshole, she tried to break up with him and they were actually pressuring and for ing her like wtf, nah I feel bad for her
Story 1: she is YTAH for not having a spine
I love classic captain america's scaled costume (i know its supposed to be chainmail but no) so i love your pfp
Story 1 TRUE TLDR
"I cheated on my boyfriend, who is a family friend,in the family home with my brother's bully. I make every excuse on the book for John cause I refuse to acknowledge he was a piece of shit and I wanted to bring the man that brought turmoil to my brothers life back into it cause Im a delusional selfish smegma guzzler."
It you would've kept your legs closed and not cheated you would've had your family in tact.
And you have never been a 17 y.o. teen girl. She felt trapped and controlled. She acted out because of that.
She was in an arraigned relationship with an abuser. Her parents and his parents are also abusive. The brother slapped her in the face, FFS. What was she supposed to do? She tried to break up with him twice and they wouldn’t allow it
She didn’t cheat. She broke up with her partner and then slept with someone else. How is it her fault if someone ‘disagrees’ with being broken up with?
@@cyndirankin with her brother's bully? 😂😂 it couldn't be with a normal person, it had to be with a demon spawn
@@ShiNijuuAKLgiven that said brother hit her and join in the pressure, I have to question if John was his bully or not.
Yeah 2nd story, you don't have to keep being her father, she isn't biological yours and you are not obligated to care for her. Those people saying you raised her, she's your daughter. No you just outted yourself as a cheater or simp, that is a bastard child and not the obligation of the man, even if he raised the child not knowing it was his.
Story 1 - You’re the AH. You tried to break up with Ben but your family wouldn’t accept it? Your family doesn’t have to accept it. It takes 2 people to be in a relationship. Then you cheat on the guy with your brother’s bully? You’re such a giant AH. If I were your family I wouldn’t ever have anything to do with you again. The cheating can be forgiven but the getting with your brother’s bully is unforgivable. How would you feel if if one of them got with your bully? The only thing your family did wrong was put their hands on you.
It takes 2 to be in a relationship but she didn't want to be with him! She tried to break up multiple times and he wouldn't let her leave. I don't at all condone cheating, but whats done is done. It wasn't like they were 10 years married with 3 kids, she was 17. Cheating is an AH move but cutting off your kid bc they didn't stay with the guy you wanted them to be with is just weird
@@smoothsashimi7048 naw she cheated first then tried to brake up, but we don't know if that's true and how much did she try to brake up? What does that mean? That's why she feels so guilty! She nuked her family over a bad boy! He was older in college and probably put it on her pretty good so she broke up her long term boyfriend for some new stick and then moved with him when the family kicked her out, she got her a Chad that's all she's the bad guy!