In-Laws Say My Husband Owes Them $90,000!
HTML-код
- Опубликовано: 29 авг 2024
- 💵 Create Your Free Budget! Sign up for EveryDollar ⮕ ter.li/6h2c45
📱Download the Ramsey Network App ⮕ ter.li/ajeshj
🛒 Visit The Ramsey Store ⮕ ter.li/7vyom2
📞 Have a question for the show? Call 888-825-5225 weekdays from 2-5 pm ET or send us a message ter.li/n88ly5
Explore More Shows from Ramsey Network:
🎙️ The Ramsey Show ⮕ ter.li/ng9950
🍸 Smart Money Happy Hour ⮕ ter.li/9gcp3d
🧠 The Dr. John Delony Show ⮕ ter.li/2u3mc0
💰 George Kamel ⮕ ter.li/1elws8
💡 The Rachel Cruze Show ⮕ ter.li/n2u6jc
💼 The Ken Coleman Show - Highlights ⮕ ter.li/1rbjr2
📈 EntreLeadership ⮕ ter.li/ktxv2k
Ramsey Solutions Privacy Policy
www.ramseysolu...
I work at a 4 year university in the Financial Aid office....that is a Federal Parent Plus loan...the loan is in the parent's name! But I am almost willing to guarantee that he couldn't start school, let alone finish school without it. I tell parents all the time, this is YOUR loan, even if you work out an arrangement with your son(s)/daughter(s), you are still on the hook!!! So if you can't afford it send him or her to community college, let them work and save for 2 years, and transfer and cover the rest! Sadly NO ONE listens!!!
work in financial aid office saw folks get up to 100k in loans when in senior year we started cutting them back.. people would throw all kinds of fits. seriously sad.
Detwaan, I believe you when you say no one listens. The bigger problem here is that there has been some major deception in this case, depending on if you believe the caller is being 100% truthful. Either the parents failed to inform the son of this loan or they did and the son didn't tell the wife.
You're Batman behind a desk. But even a superhero can't save everyone.
I am a Math Teacher, I always include interest rates in my lessons, loans, the differences between public universities and private universities...etc. only few listen!
Thanks for being honest
Agree with Dave 100% here. The inlaws wouldn't get a dime from us. It sounds like they took out the loan for themselves, spent the money, and couldn't pay the loan off. So, they concocted this story "Hey, let's tell our son and his wife that we took the loan out for him! Make them pay it back!"
agree
Plus, how do the son and daughter-in-law know that they used the money for his education? Do they have the 6-year-old receipts? Parents, who forgot to tell their child they took out a $60,000 loan for their education and now expect the child to pay it back, are capable of anything.
Well, I'm assuming he would know how much his College cost, and knew if Collection Agencies were coming after him..........
Oh yeah, mom and dad used that money to maintain a lifestyle
It crossed my mind too. It just doesn't make sense🤫
That’s a really good point and it sounds like you’re living over there means good one
I feel like the parents are pulling something along the lines of "BTW, remember those braces I paid for when you were 12.. I paid for that with a loan and now you owe $42k in principal and interest.".. Newp. Cost of parenting.
I wish I'd had Dave Ramsey when I was a teenager. I didn't know anything about finances when I'd just turned 18. My mom just put papers in front of me and had me sign them "to go to college". I found out later mom didn't pay a dime for my education and I was responsible for repayment of the loans. How does a young kid know all this? Even guidance counselors didn't explain the finances behind going to college - they just kept saying "what do you want to be?" I knew nothing.
I feel like the parents took out the loan for themselves!! I would need a lot more info.
That was my first thought! Prove that you spent that money on me and I'll consider giving you a few bucks. Seems to me like they just decided that they have this loan they probably used for themselves and now they don't wanna pay for it so they're trying to pawn it off on the kids. Strange!
I agree!! it's just too suspicious
Breanna Neville contact the university get all of the receipts. That should account for 90% of educational expenses (unless he was renting off campus). That or just look at your tax filings, any smart person would be deducting their education expenses (could be different in Canada however)
I really think that's what happened. I'm tired of this I raised you, you owe me stuff. I basically raised my parents on student loans. I have to clean up this mess. They get upset because I don't go out and live like a hermit. I have no freaking choice. I had to read the book boundaries and learn the word no. It's hard when it's your parents because you want to give them everything when they are struggling.
I’d bet money on it!
This is just parents being manipulative. It makes me sad what parents feel like they can do.
we dont really know the whole story, Dave has daughters so he was in a daze because she sounded "sweet" but who knows what the real story is.
What some parents* my parents were incredibly supportive and paid $10k for me to go to college. I am deeply grateful
I have parents like her in-laws and they make $150k a year but borrow money from me who makes less. They never return the full amount back either. Good thing I'm moving out soon. Bought myself a house so next time they ask for money, I can just say "No, I have my own bills to pay."
Scott Paulson I agree..no kid should even think their parents should pay for college- especially if its obvious they dont have the money. Parents who want to pay should wait until the kid graduates and do it on their own then you can give them some money to pay down any loans. To many parents are on the hook for loans but kids drop out
They raised you and spent God knows how much on you. Any decent person should feel indebted to their parents. I'm a uni student but I still gave my parents 20k cause no amount of money will ever pay them back.
Why did you lend them money? NEVER lend money to relatives!!
Did you pay rent while living there. If not how much did you give them in total. If it was more than what it would cost to live in your own home that would be a problem. If not, be grateful. Just because they make more money does not absolve you from helping out when possible.
I think they call that "rent".
I love Dave's quote, "This lady is a travel agent for guilt trips!!"
Even if the son wanted to pay them back I would say don't pay back the 30,000 in interest. Only the principle!
I thought that. But really need some proof they spent it on his education. The college doesn't make you "prove" what you spend it on. They should though because parents can easily take advantage of this. I'm sure some have good intentions but bad parents will take that loan to a casino.
Marsha H GOOD POINT!!!! I completely agree
@@sarrahwilson8149 that's a good point. I was thinking the same thing as Marsha, and my answer to Dave would have been I see a reason to pay back the 60,000 because it was for his education. Had they told me about it right after graduation.... I could have been on top of it. The exception being if his parents told him "oh we'll cover your tuition" and then you find out 7 years later that they actually borrowed money to do it and want you to pay. I wouldn't see a reason to pay that back unless my parents really needed help but we'd have to have one of those talks about finances that Dave always mentions that he would have with his kids etc.
But I would definitely want to be sure the 60k went towards college expenses and not towards a boat. lol. Especially given the way she describes them. I wonder how it turned out.
@@Mehwhatevr Exactly!
@@sarrahwilson8149 if this was a federal parent plus loan the funds go directly to the school the student is attending. It was not mentioned what type of loan it was, but let's hope it was a parent plus loan.
If I was her I would be asking a lot of questions. Why is this coming out of the woodwork now? Why doesn't husband have any idea this loan ever existed? And why, for heavens sake, can't they afford to pay it making $150,000-$200,000 a year? In my opinion, since the parents decided to take out the loan without ever consulting with their son about it, it is their debt to pay.
First thing I would say to them...give me an itemized receipt.
@@Dajosada Good point. It is weird to keep this hidden and it seems odd to bring it up now. I wouldn't be surprised if some of this money went to them. This is beyond disorganized, and at best, I would definitely never pay the interest, that is fully on them. I agree with Dave on this but there are the family issues to factor in here.
Who knows if the parents actually used the loan for tuition or just took a nice vacation.
Ppp
Pp
If I could do it all over again, I would have gone to a community college the first two years, cash flowed it, and *maybe* went on to a four year school...and NEVER gotten a credit card. Instead I took out 40k in loans, racked up 25k in credit cards, paid it off over 4 or 5 years, vowed never to do it again, did it again, and paid it off over 4 or 5 years...the majority in the last six months thanks to finding Dave. Student loans took me 15 years to pay off. What a nightmare. At 38, I’m finally on the right track and following the baby steps.
at least you saw the light, and worked to pay it off. I didn't go to school until I was your age. I needed a new career, and when you are middle age, college seems like a teenagers dream. I went to a community college, got AAS degree in xray. Furthering my career in this field does not require college, but there is a lot of work involved. I now have a license in MRI and CT as well with an income this year in the 6 digits. None of the college degrees offered that I could see would have guaranteed me this without lots and lots of more college time.
I went to community college then a state school. I graduated with zero debt. I don't feel bad for not being able to say I went to a fancy school. I came from poor and I think the importance of elite colleges was lost on me, fortunately.
I went to community college and got paid to go because i had scholarships. That's the way to go!
I didnt get the whole "college experience" but who cares.
Those parents are abusive. I will never do that to my son. :(
W
Yes you will.
pay for his collage ?
If the parents took out the loan without informing the son and his wife, then that is their problem.
The parents should pay it . Same
I would never
Do that either to my son
I was waiting for Dave to say that the parents needed to provide receipts/invoices for everything they truly paid with that money, was it housing, tuition, text books, or was there a bunch of their own spending mixed in with it...
That's what I was thinking
You definitely do not want to ask for receipts, because then the implication is that you are going to pay for the portion that they can trace directly to his tuition. Dave is advising don’t pay a dime of it.
Why do I think that there is missing information here?
me too..
There is missing information. Dave didn't really ask about the son and whether or not he ever agreed to pay mom and dad back. Legally the parents are obligated to pay it, but I'll bet the son knows he agreed to pay. It's wrong to assume someone has to pay for things simply because they make more money than you. The benefit of the education and it's future earnings will go to the son and his wife.
D Stone she said that both of them didn't know anything about the loan untill now...
D Stone u obviously didn't watch the whole video before writing you post. Dave clearly said if there was an agreement between the son and his parents to pay it then this would be a different situation. Also, he is not saying because they make more money they should pay it. The problem is they hid this debt for over 5-7 years and now holding out their hand for some money.
He may not have known about the loan but i'm curious how he thought the tuition was getting paid. I agree that the parent should pay it since there wasn't an agreement before but, He needs to take some responsibility too.
The son benefited 60k and didn't have a clue... There is something missing from this scenario.
Yeah, the parents led him to believe they'd paid more in cash than they had.
I don’t believe son didn’t know. HE was the one who was short money for school. He HAD to of known it, in my opinion.
Nan ‘59 How? Finances are often between parents and the school. We’re talking about a teenager not a 30 year old man.
Or they took the loan and just spent it on themselves. It’s possible he never saw that money.
The alternative option other than the parents just being manipulative and screwing over their son and his wife is that the husband knew about the money and they had a handshake agreement that he would help pay it and he just kind of hoped it would go away
Legally of course this is the parents debt but if there was a handshake agreement that we're not hearing about on this call it's very possible there's a valid second side to the story
The story should remind a lot of people why it's a very bad idea to do co-signing or parent Plus loans especially for significant amounts of money.
It just sets the stage up for horrible relationships
Pause while I grab my cup of tea!! Oh girl, your in laws are shady
@Thelondonbadger Yes. Correct!
I bet the in-laws blew a bunch of the money on the parents life style?
I'm convinced there is missing info in this story... What does the husband do? How much does he bring in? For all the talk about equal rights, how much does she bring in? Why is the household income only 60? Where did he go to school to make only 60K, will he be making a lot more a few years from now? Oh come on... There is definitely missing information here before calling them shady just yet..
Proof that the 60,000 loan was actually used toward the son's education?
Did he graduate? Then there’s proof.
Easy to prove with university records, loan records and tax filings.
She says they “make” 150-200, maybe they just live that way?
@@princetonscholar5723but i thought the caller said they have student loans in their own name....
I consigned the loan for daughter to go to Columbia university. It was 90 thousand.... family was mad at me. I put up as security land that she would inherit any way.
To my great surprise this Christmas she showed the bank note where she had paid the entire loan off. And got to see my new grandchild too
A person who is bad with money should be isolated. Otherwise they will inflict suffering to those around them.
this!
190k in student loan debt and 55k combined income? Something else isnt right here
I doubt she works.
@@huntgirlk8033 I worked at a mental health facility and we had therapist that were only making 50-55k a year with with their LMSW and many had high debts. One had a 6 figure debt from going to a private college. 😑
My wife works at a community college in a position that required a masters degree and the majority of her co workers had doctrict degrees.
She made $15 an hour without benefits. (Part time). So yes you can have low paying jobs that require college.
PS, we could afford that as my job paid well, but we chased my career and she had to start over every time we moved.
@@govols535 any job that pays 15 an hr and requires a masters is for suckers and or financial fools (my sister mscw is one of them)
M D Adams, I agree, it was nuts.
Yet they had people fighting for the positions. Crazy
I would love to hear the back story on this. There are so many missing pieces.
More important question to ask is what does he do for a living? What profession cost $200,000 for an education but yet their combined income is $65,000 a year? Something don't add up here.
if it wore to be me on her spot. I would first of all ask the parents to prove that the loan was taking out for the school. and also prove that all that money went for his school. but paying that loan off just on their word. no no no nooooooo never ever that should of happen. watch out there......
Thats not how federally backed student loans work.
@@thomasmills339
How do you know they took out a student loan?
Maybe it was that car they decide to drive around in and the fancy watches the father wore and the jewellery they wore.
Maybe that $90,000 is not a direct student loan but in their minds it is.
I'm convinced there is missing info in this story... What does the husband do? How much does he bring in? For all the talk about equal rights, how much does she bring in? Why is the household income only 60? Where did he go to school to make only 60K, will he be making a lot more a few years from now? Oh come on... There is definitely missing information here before taking her side just yet..
Husbands never stand up to their parents, do they. Dave is so right about boundaries!
I do.
Just tell mom and dad thank you for the gift. Have a good day.
Why is she calling and not the husband? This seems so strange.
Elaine Wiggins maybe he's at work.
She's the one at home with a baby...
Husbands can't even call to make their own doctor appointments 🤣
adjones87 We are the secretaries for these men. They do not take care of Day to a Day business.
J T Oh I know, I’ve had my own for 12 years. It’s like they immediately stop being capable as soon as there’s a woman in their home 🤣
"They spend money like they're crazy.....like they're in Congress"
Something tells me that the husband agreed to pay them back for everything and never told the wife. If that's not the case and they sprang this on them then no way should this couple take that on. It will probably be the end of that relationship with the parents, but so be it if they really sprang this out of nowhere.
I dated a guy in college who had to "pay his parents back" for literally everything stretching back into high school. They kept a log book of what each kid "owed" them...I'm talking school trips from high school, college tuition, cars, insurance. It was nuts! They said that they hadn't saved for retirement so the kids owed them this money. There was no convincing this boyfriend that this was crazy town so I dumped him. Who does that to their own kids??
your decision was smart. Who needs to be caught in that situation esp starting out in life ?
Oh wow!
It could be that he just forgot in the intervening years. I was in academia for 30 years, and believe me, 90% of kids don't think about the money since mom and dad fork it over to the school. They think it appears out of nowhere, like magic, which is why so many students are goof-offs. My first husband flunked out of college in his first year because he couldn't be bothered to go to class; his parents were paying for it and it was free for him, so he didn't value it. It happens a lot. Of course these days, a kid who is flunking out just whines to the professors or the dean and they raise his/her grades to avoid the fuss. I got out in 2004 when that stuff was starting in earnest. Anything to retain those piles of tuition money!
E Dennis no I bet you all the money this has nothing to do with the son and his school what collage would cost 150,000 and on top of that 80,000 I smell a rat they got in debt and I bet you half of his collage loans went in there pockets. These parents are money hungry started to see he and his wife are good with money so let’s just say it’s his he can not prove it’s not and on top of that who tells there parents there lieing
I was 18 and living on my own. My father contacted me and offered to put me thru college and live with him and my step monster. Had only met him once before in my life. Dream come true! Finally I would have family!
2 years later I joined the military. Community College was a waste of time and I was a commodity to my father. It was cheaper to live on my own! I was charged rent and an expense account was created where he kept track of anything he spent on my behalf (yes even food). Car trouble was a nightmare. College books were a nightmare. I was working almost every day/weekend at pizza joints/McDonald’s and going to college and most of my money went to him.
Couple years later he sends me a bill for all of my “expenses” while living with him. When I got done laughing I told him, “no thanks.”
When I turned 30 he “forgave” my debt to him. Acted like he was doing me this huge favor! Hadn’t spoken with him in years.
Have spoken with him once or twice since. Don’t plan on contacting him in the future.
They should ask to see the loan documents and documentation, checks, ect. Ofor where the money was spent.
Dave Ramsey shows us that "successful" idiots exist. All of that income and these people are running through their money.
Managing your finances are just as much (if not then more) important as the income.
JJSmith La
There's something else going on here. The fact that she said that his parents enable both him and his other siblings is a red flag. She needs to get away from him and this family.
I'm hearing a baby in the background halfway through the call, sounds like they got their own kid to worry about, they don't need any more debt.
I wouldn't give them a dime, clean up your own mess while I clean up mine.
Student loans can be a bliss or a curse. Nothing wrong with going to a community college the first two years, and finishing at a state school. If you're careful with money, then you can graduate with little or no debt
There are many good, well-paying jobs that can be had with only a 2 year degree, often in the medical fields.
I know this is an old thread but I totally agree with you. And when you say this to people they look at you like you have 2 heads. Like community college is gross. Know what’s gross? DEBT!!
❤️🙌🏽
I took a loan for my son's school and made payments from the next month of the loan, although I was told I didn't have to start paying. It was paid off by the time he graduated. I then paid the smallest of his loans. He graduated two years ago and only has less than $10,000 to finish every thing else. It's called common sense. He ate a lot of rice, beans and tortillas (we are not Mexican). lol
You're something, Senyora Ortiz.
You are one in a million. Good job!
You are a good parent!!! You should be proud of both you and your son
@@Shawn-ho6de Thank you. He's a great person, while in school he had an intership with the Air Force and once he graduated, they hired him as a civilian and he is very financially secured.
Being a parent myself, why would you want to burden your kids with that?? Very Sad!
That husband is a wimp. Pet peeve; tolerate a grown man that is controlled by his parents.
$180,000 in college loans and he only makes $65,000?!
No. It's under their name.
@@daniels7913 Not necessarily. If they now have a 40 + year working life and the education helps in their careers it might not be a bad investment. Also sadly student debts of this size are not rare.
Calculates to 30%/annum return on investment.
@@petert1692 remember that income is not profit. you aint factoring in the costs attached to making that $65k, Maybe they net off at $5k per year after all their costs of living/generating that income. so $180k/$5k =2.8% return which is a stupid investment
Correction: 65k is their house home income. Assuming the wife doesnt work than you are correct. But if she does work than ether she doesnt know what household income means or the husband is making closer to 30k
Whoever took the loan out, that's the one responsible, no matter what it was for, in all fairness. Think twice, many times, before taking out loans!
If they did not sign up for or bring the recipient knowledge of the loan till after the fact,the husband or wife have no legal obligation to repay the loan. It is a gift,pure and simple.
I'd be afraid that if they paid this, his parents would then want money from them for something else.
It is maddening that Dave doesnt ask if the money actually went towards the son's education or how much the parents "gave" him for school.
Yeah, Dave failed to dig for more info here. If the money went straight to the school and there was an agreement that the son would pay the loan so he could attend the school of HIS choice, then he owns the responsibility to pay the loan. His wife wasn’t there when the original arrangements were made, so isn’t the right person for Dave to be having the conversation with or making judgment calls about who is right or wrong.
It does matter because even if 100% of it went to tuition Dave is advising that they don’t pay it. If Dave found out the parents actually spent it on luxury vacations, his advice would still be don’t pay it.
Because it’s an irrelevant point. If parents choose to take out a loan (for any purpose) it is not ever acceptable to decide that it later is owned by their child.
@@Holdeenioshe says the parents took out the loan because their son maxed out the amount he could take out. If that’s the case then it’s the sons responsibility to pay it. It doesn’t make sense why Dave did not ask for more information on this topic
I would have laughed directly at my parents faces.
The parents spent that money on them selves, I want see receipts for everything.
That’s insane. You took out the loan in your name. You should take responsibility. Not act like it’s an investment to collect.
Reiden Lightman no, they didn’t. His parents took out the loan in their own name, saying it was for their son.
Who would do this to their child? seriously?! horrible parents
I'd want to see the school loan papers!
I wouldn't trust that the loan was for his schooling.
It wasn't. The wife knows it, too. She just doesn't want to say it out loud. She got close when she said something about enabling their children. This debt belongs to the parents or a sibling and now they want this couple to pay. No other reason to hide it for this long.
@@PythiaHiereia I'm convinced there is missing info in this story... What does the husband do? How much does he bring in? For all the talk about equal rights, how much does she bring in? Why is the household income only 60? Where did he go to school to make only 60K, will he be making a lot more a few years from now? Oh come on... There is definitely missing information here before taking her side just yet.
Sounds like a lot of money that many years ago.
I would NOT pay money that I don't owe!!
"Mom and dad, I'm really sorry you made this mistake, good luck with it." 😂 That wouldn't work in my house, that's for sure!
How did he not realize his $100K education was actually $200K?
That lady’s a travel agent for guilt trips 🤣🤣🤣
My question would have been, did the husband quit school? Who go to college to earn $65k a year 💁🏿♂️🤦🏾♂️.
Federal Parent Plus loan. He should figure out if he used that money for school, or if the parents used it for themselves. But not the penalty interest.
You SURE these in-laws didn't spend that loan money on themselves??
I am not sure at all. If it was one of my kids calling with this issue I would tell them you have to go to the college and find out exactly what went on when he/she was attending. Some people are saying the husband concealed the debt, I have difficult believing this. He'd "fessed up" to a pile of debt, she married him knowing about it. It doesn't make sense to me for him to have been dishonest about this one loan.
Way to go in-laws for wanting their son's marriage to start off on the wrong foot.
Totally twisted in the in-laws part!!!!!!!!!!!!
The problem with this type of call is that 1) You are only getting one side of the story, and 2) much of that one-side is heresay (in that the wife was not there when the terms of that loan were discussed and has no real idea of what transpired, other than what her husband told her).
Sounds like his parents took loans out for themselves!!!! You pay the ones for school and forget the rest!!!! Tell them to sale what they own it’s their problem...
You cant just take out a loan "for" your adult child and not tell them. The adult child needs to agree to pay it, you cant just make that decision for them and THEN not pay it for 5 years and hand that over to your child - and they didnt even know the loan existed. I would not pay back that loan either.
If his parents income was $150k to $200k, then his parents should easily be able to pay their own debts.
The reason they were approved for the loan was that they are the ones that made the deal with the bank.
I’m disgusted in those parents. They can just go bankrupt.
You Make Me Laugh When You Say They Spend Like Congress!😂😂😂
63 checks on the wrong side of the boxes
Is there the possibility that the parents signed on the dotted line because THEY couldn't stand to tell their friends that there son went to a community college!
He didn't go to a community college
Simon48 he’s saying they took the loan so they wouldn’t have the “shame” of their son being in community college because they couldn’t afford university without the loan.
Exactly!
I am worried her husband might pay this debt in secret.
Then after paying them 90k, a year later they'll come back "Oh, by the way, way paid your daycare, baby sitter, so you owe us the total amount plus accumulated dollar inflation"
@@barneystn7521 this is why you separate finances between family relationships, anything else is strictly business.
Me too. I’d make it clear that it would be a separation if he paid this. Financial infidelity is a bad thing.
Let the parents pay the 90k off.
150k to 200k is far from being broke try living off of 26k.
My in laws did this us my husband and I. It was 3K, not 90K and I was NOT and still am not happy about it.
Did the student even get the money the owners took out in loan? This is COMPLETELY on them!
I would ask for proof of where the $60k was spent, show me bank statements!
I'm sorry they took out the loan, it's in their name, if I didn't agree to pay the money back then Mom and Pops that's UR debt not mine.
Exactly not fair to spring a loan I didn't even know about on me 4 years after graduation.
The parents caused the high balance by not paying the loans eventually and accruing all that interest.
My son paid for his own Community College, Graduated, JOINED THE MILITARY TO BE ABLE TO PAY FOR THE NEXT 2 YEARS AT A STATE UNIVERSITY. He was in the Military for 9 years. I am blessed he NEVER asked us for a dime. We are not wealthy money-wise, and he knew we had many Medical Bills because of my daughter with Epilepsy. Many more young people need to join the Military for their College- quit making people who knew they could not afford College Loans, pay for people who were not smart enough to know they could not afford their College Loans either.
I’d say “you’ll hear from my lawyer” and leave it at that.
Did her husband not know how much his tuition cost and how it was being paid? Or did he just go to college assuming his parents would worry about that part? Super irresponsible all around.
He has his own student loan for $106,000 and then his parents took out an additional $60,000 they didn't tell him about.
Not fara-fetched that his parents led him to believe they'd paid some off with cash that was in reality a loan.
I was in academia for 30 years, and I know that most kids don't think about how much it costs or where the money is coming from. They think it's magic.
My wife told me when we had our first kid (we have two now, 18 and 16) that we needed to put away 5k a year for college. I thought that sounded like a lot but she showed me that it might not be enough. Now my oldest is graduating high school. She has about 190k in hers and her brother is right behind her, he should have over 200k by the time he graduates. We bought used cars, took modest vacations, stayed in our “starter” home. I wanted my kids to have the option of going to college but did not want them to start life saddled with debt. If they use it wisely it should be enough.
I personally would not save that much for my kids at most maybe 15k-25k.
What kind of degree costs 200K and you can only make 55K 5 years after graduating?
@D. F. Not true, my daughter graduated with only $40k in loans and after 4 years is making around $80k, its all about choices.
@@mmeeks4812 most jobs pay less though. Most is the operative word.
Probably went to a College that is IVY league.
This college thing is just a scam. I do not often hear people owing $200K in school debt and saying “a year out of school and i’m already making $400k”
A public defender maybe?
1:22 Are they broke?
1:43 Are they broke?
Wow I think that's a record. 21 seconds for Dave to ask the same question again without realizing he already asked it.
That’s nothing. My in laws AND my wife think I owe them the ability to depend on each other completely the way they did before marriage.
SMH, this is ridiculous. This sounds like the parents took a loan out to pay for school with the thought that they could pay for it but because they spend like they make a millions of dollars they now i bet have other consumer debt. So now they are coming back to their son and saying hey we forgot to tell you about the other 60k we took out and oh by they way it has about an additional 30k in interest because we haven't been paying it. Every parent should be having a conversation about how school is being paid for with their kids. No, wonder student loan debt is as big as it is. Parents fail to have this very important conversation with their kids. This is going to cause a ton of issues. Also i am suspicious about i the loans was actually used for school considering the parents have a spending problem.
Would it be possible to go back to the college he got the degree from and learn when and how his tuition was paid? I'd be curious to see if the college ever saw this money.
If the son attended a super expensive school, 60k is possible.
I think that most student loans get dispersed directly to the school and then once tuition is paid, the person that got the loan gets the difference for books or living expenses. The smart people don't take the difference.
@@bettysmith4527 I am just having a hard time thinking there isn't something missing here. Why would parents not inform their child of $60,000 they'd just taken out in loans?
@@KatieBellino It is certainly possible, but the story still is fishy. I sure wouldn't take out 60k of loans for one of my kids, forget to mention it and not pay it till it went to 90k, then suddenly announce hey here'e this loan! You guys are responsible.
I always want a follow up to these calls to see what happened
She is a nice wife. I wouldn't even get involved in that situation.
She has no choice since she and her husband share responsibility as far as finances go!
Well she's just found out about $90.000 her husband allegedly owes. She's involved now, whether she likes it or not.
I would get a temporary separation order stating that I have zero responsibility for the debt.
My daughter is 16 and is a bit panicked about learning to deal with finances. We've discussed finances alot, but she is still worried. I feel ridiculous it didn't occur to me sooner, I'm sending her to Financial Peace University summer of 2021 (between her Junior and Senior years).
I would say, “how dare you. How dare you ask me to pay your loan.” I would stop talking to his parents. Period and not feel bad at all.
You don't spring a loan that has been sitting unpaid for years like that on your kids and tell them they have to pay it.
The parents made the choice to get the loan in their name and then not pay the payments. 100% for sure, none of the interest is the kid's problem. Its hard to even say the kid has any moral obligation for the principal. The kid has no legal responsibility to repay that at all.
.
If not paying causes a divide, so be it.
The parents sound both irresponsible and manipulative. The kid is probably better off with little contact anyway.
You’re making judgements without facts. The son and parents know what was said and agreed to when the loan was taken out. The wife wasn’t there and is operating from an emotionally distressed position. If the son was legally an adult and agreed to paying back the loan after completing college, he owns responsibility. Your logic is flawed because your data is incomplete.
I agree with Dave. I would also suggest, however, sitting down with them and talking it all the way through, so everyone understands. You already have other debts to pay.
This is why parents shouldn't take out student loans for their children. If you can't afford for them to go to college, let them work their way through. It won't kill them. Plenty of people do it. There is no way that her husband thought that the money for him going to school was falling out of the sky. He knew. He needs to man up and pay for his own education and stop pretending that he didn't know there was school debt. He may not have known how much it was but he knew that it was there.
Just seeing this now, but there is a trust issue here. Why are the parents just now telling there son about this loan that they took out in their own names years ago? Even if it did pay for some of his school expenses they kept it hidden which is suspect. If they had gone to their son years ago and said we need to take out more money for school he may have had the opportunity to make different choices. I agree with Dave on this one. I don't think the money was used for their son, I think they used it to supplement their life style.
I just saw this now as well. It's either what you said above or there is another side to this that we aren't hearing and the wife is painting a picture that's also not true.
Maybe the son had done a handshake agreement with his parents that he would pay it and now he isn't.
Forget the rice and beans, just stay single and don't have kids, and don't over pay for college!
How do they know that this newly discovered loan ever flowed through the parents to benefit the husband. If I had an ability to pay that loan, I'd still require documentary proof that they money the parents received was use for hubby's schooling and nothing else. My bet is that this loan's proceeds were used all over the place.
How do they know what the parents used the money for? Hint: It probably wasn't tuition.
How do you know the parents didn’t just spend that money on themselves?
Freeze your credit - both members of this young couple. A minimal fee, worth it -
I'm surprised the son didn't know. Very sad situation in the amount of student debt vs his income.
She must be married to my brother.
I would tell them off the bat nope that's there problem
Did that loan that parents took out even go to her husbands schooling? Or did parents pocket the money?
How did he NOT know about the extra 60k in debt? Where did he think the money was coming from to pay his tuition. All he had to do was multiply his yearly tuition and expenses by 4 to realize there was an amount unaccounted for. This story seems fishy.
Not fishy at all. A lot of college students, especially at expensive schools, don't track every penny of the cost. He probably assumed they had paid some actual cash for the bill when instead, they took a massive loan and hid that from him until now.
If the parents make 150k a year he could have assumed they had the money saved up to cover it. They should have.