Women are not dating men to be treated like prostitutes, a man should never expect sex in exchange for a meal, that's just pathetic I'm afraid. It's a sad world we are living in.
Jesus fed 5000 people for free... these men want sex after just one plate of meal.😂😅🤣😂😁😆.... I think 1st date should be at a park at least there is no expenses.
Exactly but unfortunately too many women have condition men to behave like this so when they meet someone with sense they do not understand why we have the stance we have.
what happened to holding hands, kissing, making out? why does it have to be sex IMMEDIATELY (and sometimes aggressively) to show you they’re interested in you? what happened to expressing sexual or romantic interest with words? why do the majority of men not know how to do this anymore? or know how to be romantic or express themselves romantically? it doesn’t have to be explicitly sexual and if it is, it doesn’t have to be disrespectful. i don’t understand what’s happened to humanity. why is it so hard for them to communicate or go to therapy to learn these skills and more importantly, HEAL and stop bleeding on and hurting so many women. gah. i’m so tired of this.
@@CarmenPerez-kz6rw i’m sure some do but i haven’t encountered them yet. i know there are many great men out there! but im expressing my frustrating of talking to 30 year olds who are emotionally still 10 years old and don’t go to therapy because it’s not “logical” yet…they can’t commit and so many other issues i won’t get into.
I really like this young man channel, I have to say this because it hit my spirit Adorable 🥰Stephan.The Human being has lost ways to LOVE!😢😮love is taking your time, love is getting to know 1/another, it’s a magical feeling that U don’t know why it TIES&BINDS😮Many people want things in a New York minute! all true feelings are gone music, pornography (🤢🤮woman who do this for$)TV adds all sexual No romanticism🥹The love aspect is doomed😞😢
The audacity of men expecting sex as showing ‘interest’. We already basically risk our lives being alone with them and spending money on our appearance. Maybe we need to bring back the Bridgerton days with chaperones to see how they like it 😂
Earlier this month, a man ghosted me after three months of a situationship. He did not want to go out on dates. He explained that he is a homebody, so we did things at his house, like watched T.V. and eat home-cooked meals. After one month of dating, he asked me for sex. When I asked him to take an STD test, he refused. He explained that he prefers to use a condom. Maybe that is why he ghosted me. I am so glad that I never slept with him. As a matter of fact, I should have been the one to ghost him after he refused to take the test.
One thing I think men should consider is that women spend a LOT to look good in general, to feel good and attract you in the first place, AND to provide you with a top version of ourselves when you take us out. Ladies, I know you have my back here. Hair, nails/toes, all the the ongoing regular maintenance, the new money suck: lashes , clothes in general and possibly a new outfit for the date. Maybe a babysitter if you’re a mom. It adds up to wayyyyyy more than dinner! You guys need to be aware of that and stop feeling that women OWE you something in return. We are giving it on the front end. Respect that, appreciate that, compliment that, and you will be well on your way to feeling appreciated in return. Show masculine romantic behavior and reap the rewards! 💋
He should have chosen better. If he got used for food, he should have chosen better. He should have taken the time to vet her and get to know her. A few PROBING and SUBSTANTIVE questions would have let him know of the mindset and level of interest of the woman. There are PLENTY of date ideas that don’t cost much of anything, if anything at all. Effort and creativity, would make money irrelevant. Many women would actually prefer an activity or event over a dinner. The men should vet, and not be lazy and unimaginative.
Mature individuals often prioritize emotional intimacy, mutual respect, and shared values over mere physical desires. In many cases, seeing relationships solely through the lens of physical attraction can lead to misunderstandings and missed opportunities for meaningful connections. IMO
Men should not be using going too fast as an excuse based on their fear of being used. Cross that bridge when you notice the red flags that a woman is using you by releasing that person. Very simple.
Right! Here’s a wild idea-maybe instead of trying to escalate physically, they could try being honest and telling you if they like you?!?! You know, use words. Is that too much to ask for?! 😭 I’ve been brave and expressed my feelings before. I would love to find someone willing to do the same.
Tips for men : Why trying to have sex to soon to show that u are interested guys?? How about being affectionate, romantic, kisses and cuddles (out of the room of course ) that will definitely show that you are into women and also are a quality guy 😺😽💘
Yes. The guy I’m seeing doesn’t expose himself at all. He’s a “gentleman”. Wants to do anything I want to do, can follow me in conversation on things I really care about, but it doesn’t take me into really feeling close with him. We’re still on the friend level. We can only go deeper when he goes deeper. But he is walled up, I can feel the wall. And if I sense that, there is no way I can be physically intimate with you, cause WHO is this person with me. Sure you’re trying hard to impress me, but you ain’t giving me anything I can feel, something that will open my heart towards you romantically
Often as a women I feel the way to break the walls is the physical intimacy but is that really the case for men. Sex is supposed to be the glue that holds you but surely it can only do that if you both are fully invested together in every way
@@CatherineHart.hh3vwthat is not the case for many ppl. Sex is an act. The reasons for the act vary. Some place more emphasis on the engagement than others.
Its crazy how there are too many men acting like entitled to a woman’s body. If a man has the what can I get back in return then just be upfront. I can’t stand the ones who play games.
I was the one that moved fast.. I was married 45 years saved myself. I was so busy with business’s, I’m widowed now and let me tell you I can’t get enough.. I’m 73 and my wonderful man is 66 thinking older women don’t have sex. He said “was I wrong”🤣🤣🤣
@@threecats1605 hi there,I just wanted to take a moment of yourto thank you for sharing, I m sooo happy to hear of how U & you’re partner have found beautiful love for each other in later years🥰adorable🤭
I’m not paying for anything and I don’t have premarital sex and get marriage proposals often. True I’ve been married twice without having sex first and it didn’t work out but I have no regrets and no shame. I did not sin. Stop giving yourself to men. Stop sinning because it ages you much faster. I’m 50 and people think I’m 28! Worship God. Stay out of men’s beds!
Men getting sexual too soon is the #1 biggest turn off to me. Smoking a a close 2nd. 😂 Honestly though my initial thought when men start right off with the bs I’m out! Complete flip of the switch. Because in my eyes it’s about another notch on the bedpost. Especially in today’s society!
Don’t go on dates expecting anything, let alone anything in return. You’re going on dates to find a connection. Go on small dates, like coffee shops. If she wants more than that, then you have your answer.
Her time is an equivalent to his investment friend.. our time to procreate cannot be earned by working more hours. Women get the short end of the stick anyway you look at it. Either we give it up to soon and he dips, or we hold out and he dips. So since men hold the power of a relationship all we have is our chastity to ensure we won’t be run through. Periodt.
Now I see why a lot of women end up giving up. If both sides are in for the fun then who cares but for some of us sex can’t just happen without any sign of effort/commitment.
Men need to understand that women need time for attraction to come online. We’re biologically sexually selective. I went out with a handful of men last year (wasn’t intimate) and didn’t feel any attraction for any of them. I would not have felt comfortable being intimate. I was open and willing to see if the attraction could come online, but men usually aren’t if you’re not willing to sleep with them.
For the first 2 minutes of this I was angry but it makes sense later. Although “some men” are the key words here. I find it really off putting for men to use “dates” to get sex and women to use “dates” to use men for free meals 😢 dating, should be spent with the intent to genuinely get to know the other persons wants, needs & goals etc..
Where I come from words are used to communicate with people and express what you want or don’t want. Additionally, sex is for married people. This is part of the reasons why we have so many children raised by single parents, abortions etc. The purpose for dating is to get to know a person. Why would anyone take someone on an expensive date early on? Perhaps go on more expensive dates after you learn more about them and wouldn’t mind spending more money at that time.
He Doesn’t want to get played. Well they play with women. And abt the free meal. I don’t think women are asking for a free meal. They are the ones that choose to men don’t want to put effort in nothing now a days
Involved with my partner for 14 years, yet he’s always speaking sexual with me- about me. Yes, it’s a plus that he’s still into me but why talk sexual EVERY CONVERSATION and touchy feelly it’s nerve wrecking.. is this normal? Please reply
For me I am too kind to pat on the back, or looking too long into a man's eyes & smile, I compliment left, right & center. It's just part of my nature - but I will be trying to do that less.
No 3 I have to say works both ways. If a woman makes the first move guys sometimes say no and still feel some type of way especially when a woman tries to respect them wanting to wait. Some can be fickle and flip the script. Yet don’t understand when a woman decides after all that then she wants to wait. Men wanting to have sex so soon is part of the reason I haven’t had sex in years especially those using the strong attraction as an excuse. I’m older and wiser so I don’t fall for that anymore. They just want sex.
Make a move but be respectful about it, know how and learn to read you date, get it into your head gentlemen that making a move doesn't have to mean sex. Try learning to court, kiss, talk, touch ,,cuddles , etc. If you're interested seriously you will benefit from talking and taking it slow in the long run. It's worth it.
Set a boundary with them and you’ll soon see where you stand. They either... disappear for good....are genuine, wanting to get to know you and let things develop naturally or they disappear and circle back around after a few months like nothing happened. But, which ever happens, you have your dignity in tact and won’t regret it.
The whole "making a move" is a very slippery slope. Some men interpret making moves as being sexually aggressive and that can be very off-putting to a woman. A man can make the proverbial move on a woman that does not involve any vulgar language or lascivious behavior.
If he's really interested in you he'll respect your boundaries. You can just tell him. Hey I'm interested in you. Can we see if we have a connection in an emotional and outgoing way first.
There r ways ppl show romantic interest without diving into sex. Open communication and taking time in getting to know ppl is key. These reasons are ridiculous lol
Stephan, I always appreciated your advice. But by calling sex an "investment" several times you've turned my stomach! I HAVE never and WILL never trade my sexuality merely for a dinner!!! How disgusting does it get here???
Haven't finished yet but I will :-) Thank you for this. "I didn't know you were interested like that..." Just want to say that **even when he's had sex with you before**...things happen in the meantime that may make you think ah, it was just a mistake on his end. He was drunk, I could have been any chick. He's really not that into me.... even for sex. Yes guys, I've been down that road myself. And so...when it turned out he WAS, took me completely by surprise. And when we talked about that all later, he's there saying of course you should have known what I wanted. He had no idea how completely I'd convinced myself that he'd never wanted me in the first place. We women DO this to ourselves, and the culture helps us. There's even a book "He's Just Not That Into You." So yes...we can be incredibly dense about reading a man's signs in that regard. Just putting that out there because I'm not sure many men realize what they're dealing with. And it's only partly the woman's fault...she needs to stand up to the cultural messages of course...but she is bombarded with those messages. It's hard to even recognize it. Not sure how to fix as a culture. Just letting men know so they get this doesn't necessarily come 100% what they do or don't do. Obviously that impacts things, but she might be a whole lot harder to convince you're interested in her if her whole life she has felt ignored by guys and put down by her parents with the he's just not that into jab. Cheers!
I like the part you said its confusing, the fact that we're different people also makes the view and perspective of situations different. Sound teachings like this should help change people's orientation for the better though. Thank you Stephan.
I appreciate the video explaining, but its such a turn off for me. It gives high school vibes. I agree with the comment on here... It doesn't have to be all sexual. You can can flirt, kiss etc to show interest. It doesn't take all that aggression. (I like the setting boundaries advice).
@@MeetStephanSpeaks Stephan, I hope I am not asking too much, can you make a content all about “how should a woman tell a good man to wait until the right time before having sex”…. I don’t want to say it the wrong way, I would like to learn it from a man’s perspective. 🙏
I can buy my own food and stay single. This wild a mess and this is why we have to go back to traditional values. I’m good, women keep your legs closed it’s not worth it. Let him court you and puta ring on it
My goodness !!! am laughing but its serious going into his bedroom to watch TV ?? I will excuse any man making a move come on girl 😄 and considering to the way she was dressed at this time Stephan this was awesome
Dating rules are not the same as courtship rules not the same as engagement rules not the same as marriage rules...Unhealthy women and men will always try to put marriage things into dating area due to unresolved childhood trauma and not understanding or living in environment with emotionally mature humans.
The American culture is way too fast. People sleeping together within the first month is a no no in many other cultures especially with women over 40. The issue with the examples you gave is that there was not enough verbal communication on what each person was expecting out of the relationship. They were just trying to read body language. Especially with Christian women, we have to let the men know up front what we are about and if they can't wait, then they are free to go
Her time, energy, and attention is her investment. Going Dutch is good, and personally preferred by me anyway. I don't owe you anything. If you want to pay for sex, there are women that specialize in that field.🤔🤷♀️😊💖❤️🔥💞
If I am supposed to go dutch, I can stay home by myself and cook… The way people start off is normally how they finish. I’m am too old to play those games. ✌🏾
I hope my Simba knows where we stand on the intimate subject because we have already had that discussion, and I made sure I was balanced, went through my healing from past trauma. So that should not be in question to him..
A lot of these reasons would be invalid with a simple thing called COMMUNICATION. Communicated feelings by both parties along the way (followed up with actions to match said feelings) negates all the confusion. For the record, we all make investments in life (financially, with career, in relationships, et al) with no guarantee of a ROI. Dating should be viewed as just another type of investment (ie. men need to stop expecting more from just a few paid dinners). We all need to learn to be savvy “investors” with our time, money, body, energy, emotional wellbeing, etc.
Great video, some new perspective about men’s behavior in those early days of dating! I also feel like a lot of men who do this are the same that will tell you not to let your past experiences with other men affect this new potential relationship. Pretty hypocritical, and to some degree all of our current behaviors are colored by our experiences!
100%. they don’t want you to treat them like past guys but will treat you as if you’re their exes. smh. they want a chance and the benefit of the doubt but don’t give you that.
All women/men are not the same, but communication is VERY IMPORTANT!!! You can communicate that you are interested in a relationship and/or don't want to be friend zoned, etc. without sex having to be the only way.
Nope, first investment a woman makes is on looking good. We cannot show up like some of you guys do, and even the most tidy man will never know how much time, pain and money it costs to maintain a cute natural look: hair, make up, depilation, nails, pretty dress. So if on a first date she looks good, believe she’s in it too. And you bet all that costs more than dinner! Sex is a whole other dimension of energetic trade🪢 beyond dessert too 👀😹
There are so many different scenarios that's why it's important to express ourselves verbally & ask questions. I like Steve Harvey's book, Think like a man act like a lady. He suggests a woman wait at least 3 months before having intimate relations. However, open lines of communication are key. I'm going to read some of your books too. Thank you Stephan.
Yes that happens too. Not attempting is definitely a sign for me. I let them know if I'm interested bf they tell me. I don't think he has to make a move just show interest
One thing not being said in these examples is that the men did not clearly communicate. Teach men to use their words! A man who can’t effectively communicate is not an attractive potential mate. The burden should not be on the woman for some men’s lack of basic communication skills.
1 Corinthians 7 KJV - King James Version It is good for a man not to touch a woman. 2 Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.
@ange2122 God forgave me of all my sins when I asked him to come into my life. You don't need to give me scripture. I am a widow. Been there and done it.
@@loisclark1883 1 Corinthians 6:9-11 in the Bible states: "Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived; neither the immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor sexual perverts, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor robbers will inherit the kingdom of God"
I get that. I have gone out bc I was bored. I don't play the guys tho. I usually let them know the outcome before we even go out. A friend is a friend, no sex. Just chilling, if that isn't what he wants I don't go out with him. Playing games or just playing someone is not me. I don't want to get played, so I don't play them
😒 so what dinner is dinner if you can't afford to court someone you shouldn't ask the woman out! I'll feed people for free and don't want sex and they can be a total stranger. If the man is worthy and have the QUALITIES of a good man she aint just going to just leave him after one damn date make it make sense 🙄 most men that move fast sex IS the only thing they have to bring to the table. Bad credit, baby mommas, no home FAKE LIFE STYLE the list goes on!!!!!
As a guy, if we don't push things in a sexual direction somewhat soon, we get put in the "friendzone," and completely lose our opportunity for a romantic relationship. Women dont make guys wait for long if they are genuinely attracted to them.
Red pill bullshit. Some women can keep their legs closed even if they like a guy. This just sounds like a justification for sexual aggression and coming on too strong. It's a turn off.
I woman can say no and it should be respected, not for men to feel used. You need to honour a women's choice to honour herself. Yes, some people will take advantage, it goes both ways in an equal amount.
Stephan you have good stuff and all - but you dropped the ball on this. Woman, please keep your legs closed. You can get an idea of a man’s intention by the 2nd or 3rd month.
But it's true... The connection was real..and chemistry on point but...the forwardness with the sexual aspect... suffocating ..Some men never give some women a choice in regards to that aspect..
Based on the example you gave with the friend dating the girl for a month. I think for some women, she probably could have been referring to like a kiss. I think sex is kind of extreme. I'm not saying she wasn't referring to sex... but for some women, it would be more like a kiss than sex.
Stephan, you made me laugh. I have a question. Why can't a man say: "I like you, I love to see you again". Instead of make avances for sex. In my opinion, if a guy does that, he doesn't see a woman as wedding material, it is just lust, desire. No connection. Good content.Many Love and Light..
Just because a man is on the same bed with a man whether her bed or his doesn't mean she wants sex..I got raped that way in the past even though I said NO several times. He knew what NO meant. It was even discovered he did another woman like that.
@@marciawade9101 Usually butting in conversations doesn''t work out well..If you knew that much then you should've known this was like a 2 way conversation..Not a three way.
"Do you feel that men are just a bunch of horny bastards?" Best opening ever😂😂😂
lol 😂😁
Oh yeah😊
🎉a 😅🎉ze😊@@MeetStephanSpeaks
I never noticed. 😂
Women are not dating men to be treated like prostitutes, a man should never expect sex in exchange for a meal, that's just pathetic I'm afraid. It's a sad world we are living in.
😂 Honey these people are are just coming out anything just for views or likes. It's not like he paid rent or a mortgage
Jesus fed 5000 people for free... these men want sex after just one plate of meal.😂😅🤣😂😁😆.... I think 1st date should be at a park at least there is no expenses.
Exactly but unfortunately too many women have condition men to behave like this so when they meet someone with sense they do not understand why we have the stance we have.
Women are the ones responsible for allowing this behavior for so long. Sad truth.
what happened to holding hands, kissing, making out? why does it have to be sex IMMEDIATELY (and sometimes aggressively) to show you they’re interested in you? what happened to expressing sexual or romantic interest with words? why do the majority of men not know how to do this anymore? or know how to be romantic or express themselves romantically? it doesn’t have to be explicitly sexual and if it is, it doesn’t have to be disrespectful. i don’t understand what’s happened to humanity. why is it so hard for them to communicate or go to therapy to learn these skills and more importantly, HEAL and stop bleeding on and hurting so many women. gah. i’m so tired of this.
They do. I don’t know what kind of men you guys are experiencing. There are many great men out there!
@@CarmenPerez-kz6rw i’m sure some do but i haven’t encountered them yet. i know there are many great men out there! but im expressing my frustrating of talking to 30 year olds who are emotionally still 10 years old and don’t go to therapy because it’s not “logical” yet…they can’t commit and so many other issues i won’t get into.
I agree 💯💯💯💯💯
Because no romantic music! 😂
I really like this young man channel, I have to say this because it hit my spirit Adorable 🥰Stephan.The Human being has lost ways to LOVE!😢😮love is taking your time, love is getting to know 1/another, it’s a magical feeling that U don’t know why it TIES&BINDS😮Many people want things in a New York minute! all true feelings are gone music, pornography (🤢🤮woman who do this for$)TV adds all sexual No romanticism🥹The love aspect is doomed😞😢
No sex before marriage is the best thing ever 🙌
Can’t disagree with that
I’m on the fence with that one ..bc what if it’s wack s ec…would if he is terrible in bed ..I need to know before I commit my life …
The audacity of men expecting sex as showing ‘interest’. We already basically risk our lives being alone with them and spending money on our appearance. Maybe we need to bring back the Bridgerton days with chaperones to see how they like it 😂
Earlier this month, a man ghosted me after three months of a situationship. He did not want to go out on dates. He explained that he is a homebody, so we did things at his house, like watched T.V. and eat home-cooked meals.
After one month of dating, he asked me for sex. When I asked him to take an STD test, he refused. He explained that he prefers to use a condom.
Maybe that is why he ghosted me. I am so glad that I never slept with him. As a matter of fact, I should have been the one to ghost him after he refused to take the test.
One thing I think men should consider is that women spend a LOT to look good in general, to feel good and attract you in the first place, AND to provide you with a top version of ourselves when you take us out. Ladies, I know you have my back here. Hair, nails/toes, all the the ongoing regular maintenance, the new money suck: lashes , clothes in general and possibly a new outfit for the date. Maybe a babysitter if you’re a mom. It adds up to wayyyyyy more than dinner! You guys need to be aware of that and stop feeling that women OWE you something in return. We are giving it on the front end. Respect that, appreciate that, compliment that, and you will be well on your way to feeling appreciated in return. Show masculine romantic behavior and reap the rewards! 💋
He should have chosen better. If he got used for food, he should have chosen better. He should have taken the time to vet her and get to know her. A few PROBING and SUBSTANTIVE questions would have let him know of the mindset and level of interest of the woman.
There are PLENTY of date ideas that don’t cost much of anything, if anything at all. Effort and creativity, would make money irrelevant. Many women would actually prefer an activity or event over a dinner. The men should vet, and not be lazy and unimaginative.
You have it wrong...Sex is used to avoid emotional intimacy...
In some cases true but not only
For some this is true, but there is more to it for others
Mature individuals often prioritize emotional intimacy, mutual respect, and shared values over mere physical desires. In many cases, seeing relationships solely through the lens of physical attraction can lead to misunderstandings and missed opportunities for meaningful connections. IMO
Men should not be using going too fast as an excuse based on their fear of being used. Cross that bridge when you notice the red flags that a woman is using you by releasing that person. Very simple.
Right! Here’s a wild idea-maybe instead of trying to escalate physically, they could try being honest and telling you if they like you?!?! You know, use words. Is that too much to ask for?! 😭 I’ve been brave and expressed my feelings before. I would love to find someone willing to do the same.
This is true! That's why we have to get back into TEACHING RELATIONSHIPS CORRECTLY like you.
Yes indeed 🙏
😊
Tips for men : Why trying to have sex to soon to show that u are interested guys?? How about being affectionate, romantic, kisses and cuddles (out of the room of course ) that will definitely show that you are into women and also are a quality guy 😺😽💘
Bloop! 👍💯🤔🤷👌🥂💝🎉🥳
They don’t want to invest emotion just want the physical and that’s it
In many cases this is true
@@MeetStephanSpeaks I see it a lot and it’s hard to know how to break the barriers down.
Yes. The guy I’m seeing doesn’t expose himself at all. He’s a “gentleman”. Wants to do anything I want to do, can follow me in conversation on things I really care about, but it doesn’t take me into really feeling close with him. We’re still on the friend level. We can only go deeper when he goes deeper. But he is walled up, I can feel the wall. And if I sense that, there is no way I can be physically intimate with you, cause WHO is this person with me. Sure you’re trying hard to impress me, but you ain’t giving me anything I can feel, something that will open my heart towards you romantically
Often as a women I feel the way to break the walls is the physical intimacy but is that really the case for men. Sex is supposed to be the glue that holds you but surely it can only do that if you both are fully invested together in every way
@@CatherineHart.hh3vwthat is not the case for many ppl. Sex is an act. The reasons for the act vary. Some place more emphasis on the engagement than others.
If he can’t afford dinner, he can’t afford to date.
💯
And definitely not sex!
Its crazy how there are too many men acting like entitled to a woman’s body. If a man has the what can I get back in return then just be upfront. I can’t stand the ones who play games.
I was the one that moved fast.. I was married 45 years saved myself. I was so busy with business’s, I’m widowed now and let me tell you I can’t get enough.. I’m 73 and my wonderful man is 66 thinking older women don’t have sex. He said “was I wrong”🤣🤣🤣
Beautiful. I love hearing it
Ha ha 🤣🤣 woman power turn up that heat keep him busy
@@threecats1605 hi there,I just wanted to take a moment of yourto thank you for sharing, I m sooo happy to hear of how U & you’re partner have found beautiful love for each other in later years🥰adorable🤭
I’m not paying for anything and I don’t have premarital sex and get marriage proposals often. True I’ve been married twice without having sex first and it didn’t work out but I have no regrets and no shame. I did not sin. Stop giving yourself to men. Stop sinning because it ages you much faster. I’m 50 and people think I’m 28! Worship God. Stay out of men’s beds!
Amen xxx
Men getting sexual too soon is the #1 biggest turn off to me. Smoking a a close 2nd. 😂
Honestly though my initial thought when men start right off with the bs I’m out! Complete flip of the switch. Because in my eyes it’s about another notch on the bedpost. Especially in today’s society!
Don’t go on dates expecting anything, let alone anything in return. You’re going on dates to find a connection. Go on small dates, like coffee shops. If she wants more than that, then you have your answer.
They can't get none from me. Not unless they're the REAL deal.☀️
🙏
Some will pretend to be real deal until they get it...
@@Beyondme7700 THAT PART
@@Beyondme7700I don't even let pretenders smell it ☀🤣️
I just don’t know how to have a relationship with a man anymore I don’t get them
Glad that you talked about this topic, because I have experience this with Men.
You're welcome 🙏
Her time is an equivalent to his investment friend.. our time to procreate cannot be earned by working more hours. Women get the short end of the stick anyway you look at it. Either we give it up to soon and he dips, or we hold out and he dips. So since men hold the power of a relationship all we have is our chastity to ensure we won’t be run through.
Periodt.
Now I see why a lot of women end up giving up. If both sides are in for the fun then who cares but for some of us sex can’t just happen without any sign of effort/commitment.
Men need to understand that women need time for attraction to come online. We’re biologically sexually selective. I went out with a handful of men last year (wasn’t intimate) and didn’t feel any attraction for any of them. I would not have felt comfortable being intimate. I was open and willing to see if the attraction could come online, but men usually aren’t if you’re not willing to sleep with them.
For the first 2 minutes of this I was angry but it makes sense later. Although “some men” are the key words here. I find it really off putting for men to use “dates” to get sex and women to use “dates” to use men for free meals 😢 dating, should be spent with the intent to genuinely get to know the other persons wants, needs & goals etc..
Where I come from words are used to communicate with people and express what you want or don’t want. Additionally, sex is for married people. This is part of the reasons why we have so many children raised by single parents, abortions etc. The purpose for dating is to get to know a person. Why would anyone take someone on an expensive date early on? Perhaps go on more expensive dates after you learn more about them and wouldn’t mind spending more money at that time.
🙏
He Doesn’t want to get played. Well they play with women. And abt the free meal. I don’t think women are asking for a free meal. They are the ones that choose to men don’t want to put effort in nothing now a days
Not all men play women, and not all women play men. But both sides have fears of getting played
I’m not giving it up for a plate!
Involved with my partner for 14 years, yet he’s always speaking sexual with me- about me. Yes, it’s a plus that he’s still into me but why talk sexual EVERY CONVERSATION and touchy feelly it’s nerve wrecking.. is this normal? Please reply
Too many of them think “date” stands for d*ck at the end😂
lol this is true
It's so crazy. I'm dealing with this right now and had to set some boundaries. This video has so much clarity!❤
I’m glad it was helpful to you
Pound for Pound 😂😂😂😂 Pun intended?
Lol 🙏
@joyricherson4570 😂 I was waiting for him to say, "Not that kind of pound. Get your mind out of the gutter."
Women get used too..
Absolutely!
They get used way more than men get used.
This video /clip couldn’t be more important. I am so sick and tired of men jumping on me for a date
For me I am too kind to pat on the back, or looking too long into a man's eyes & smile, I compliment left, right & center. It's just part of my nature - but I will be trying to do that less.
Im not spreading my Margarine TILL MARRIAGE 😂❤
lol that’s the first time I’ve heard it referred to as that 😂
If I have to pay on our first date, he can do it to himself. He is not a man.
A he right some women will play the men just to get free meals so I agree with him
@@1986Glory I prefer paid myself than invest in that type of men.
No 3 I have to say works both ways. If a woman makes the first move guys sometimes say no and still feel some type of way especially when a woman tries to respect them wanting to wait. Some can be fickle and flip the script. Yet don’t understand when a woman decides after all that then she wants to wait. Men wanting to have sex so soon is part of the reason I haven’t had sex in years especially those using the strong attraction as an excuse. I’m older and wiser so I don’t fall for that anymore. They just want sex.
Make a move but be respectful about it, know how and learn to read you date, get it into your head gentlemen that making a move doesn't have to mean sex. Try learning to court, kiss, talk, touch ,,cuddles , etc. If you're interested seriously you will benefit from talking and taking it slow in the long run. It's worth it.
Set a boundary with them and you’ll soon see where you stand. They either... disappear for good....are genuine, wanting to get to know you and let things develop naturally or they disappear and circle back around after a few months like nothing happened. But, which ever happens, you have your dignity in tact and won’t regret it.
I totally agree.
The whole "making a move" is a very slippery slope. Some men interpret making moves as being sexually aggressive and that can be very off-putting to a woman. A man can make the proverbial move on a woman that does not involve any vulgar language or lascivious behavior.
If he's really interested in you he'll respect your boundaries. You can just tell him. Hey I'm interested in you. Can we see if we have a connection in an emotional and outgoing way first.
There r ways ppl show romantic interest without diving into sex. Open communication and taking time in getting to know ppl is key. These reasons are ridiculous lol
Important video for the people keep it up Stephan !
Thank you! I will. 🙏
Your comment at the beginning had me roll’n 😂
Great video 💯
lol 😂 I’m glad you enjoyed it
It’s normal for a man to try or make an attempt or a move towards a lady, it’s now less for her to decline or accept it
Thank you for your feedback
Stephan, I always appreciated your advice. But by calling sex an "investment" several times you've turned my stomach!
I HAVE never and WILL never trade my sexuality merely for a dinner!!! How disgusting does it get here???
I’m explaining how some men view it, I stated from the beginning that doesn’t mean I’m validating it or agreeing with it, but I am explaining it
But that is you. There are people who play into the dynamic, he is discussing. I fall into your category but understand the explanation.
If grown people just communicated their intentions, there would be no issues.
You can communicate. But sometimes they don't want to hear you.
This is not always true, and if a woman doesn't want it, then all she has to do is say NO.
Women give signals like sitting closer, smiling and touching that indicate interest. Intelligent men pick up on and respond to these signals.
Haven't finished yet but I will :-) Thank you for this.
"I didn't know you were interested like that..." Just want to say that **even when he's had sex with you before**...things happen in the meantime that may make you think ah, it was just a mistake on his end. He was drunk, I could have been any chick. He's really not that into me.... even for sex.
Yes guys, I've been down that road myself.
And so...when it turned out he WAS, took me completely by surprise. And when we talked about that all later, he's there saying of course you should have known what I wanted. He had no idea how completely I'd convinced myself that he'd never wanted me in the first place. We women DO this to ourselves, and the culture helps us. There's even a book "He's Just Not That Into You."
So yes...we can be incredibly dense about reading a man's signs in that regard.
Just putting that out there because I'm not sure many men realize what they're dealing with. And it's only partly the woman's fault...she needs to stand up to the cultural messages of course...but she is bombarded with those messages. It's hard to even recognize it.
Not sure how to fix as a culture. Just letting men know so they get this doesn't necessarily come 100% what they do or don't do. Obviously that impacts things, but she might be a whole lot harder to convince you're interested in her if her whole life she has felt ignored by guys and put down by her parents with the he's just not that into jab. Cheers!
I like the part you said its confusing, the fact that we're different people also makes the view and perspective of situations different.
Sound teachings like this should help change people's orientation for the better though.
Thank you Stephan.
Thanks for sharing 🙏
Stephan is always right on time!
🙂 thank you very much
I appreciate the video explaining, but its such a turn off for me. It gives high school vibes. I agree with the comment on here... It doesn't have to be all sexual. You can can flirt, kiss etc to show interest. It doesn't take all that aggression. (I like the setting boundaries advice).
Hi I love your content. I’ve been following you for quite some time ❤️
Thank you so much, I appreciate your support
@@MeetStephanSpeaks Stephan, I hope I am not asking too much, can you make a content all about “how should a woman tell a good man to wait until the right time before having sex”…. I don’t want to say it the wrong way, I would like to learn it from a man’s perspective. 🙏
I can buy my own food and stay single. This wild a mess and this is why we have to go back to traditional values. I’m good, women keep your legs closed it’s not worth it. Let him court you and puta ring on it
Then he needs to adjust his approach as to not trying to spend a lot while he's trying to see if he/she really likes each other
My goodness !!! am laughing but its serious going into his bedroom
to watch TV ?? I will excuse any man making a move come on girl 😄 and considering to the way she was dressed at this time
Stephan this was awesome
Thank you for your opinion 🙏
Your whole video leaves me asking "what happened to communication?".
Dating rules are not the same as courtship rules not the same as engagement rules not the same as marriage rules...Unhealthy women and men will always try to put marriage things into dating area due to unresolved childhood trauma and not understanding or living in environment with emotionally mature humans.
The American culture is way too fast. People sleeping together within the first month is a no no in many other cultures especially with women over 40. The issue with the examples you gave is that there was not enough verbal communication on what each person was expecting out of the relationship. They were just trying to read body language. Especially with Christian women, we have to let the men know up front what we are about and if they can't wait, then they are free to go
Her time, energy, and attention is her investment. Going Dutch is good, and personally preferred by me anyway. I don't owe you anything. If you want to pay for sex, there are women that specialize in that field.🤔🤷♀️😊💖❤️🔥💞
If I am supposed to go dutch, I can stay home by myself and cook…
The way people start off is normally how they finish. I’m am too old to play those games. ✌🏾
I hope my Simba knows where we stand on the intimate subject because we have already had that discussion, and I made sure I was balanced, went through my healing from past trauma. So that should not be in question to him..
A lot of these reasons would be invalid with a simple thing called COMMUNICATION. Communicated feelings by both parties along the way (followed up with actions to match said feelings) negates all the confusion.
For the record, we all make investments in life (financially, with career, in relationships, et al) with no guarantee of a ROI. Dating should be viewed as just another type of investment (ie. men need to stop expecting more from just a few paid dinners). We all need to learn to be savvy “investors” with our time, money, body, energy, emotional wellbeing, etc.
I'm free spirited and open-minded. I don't take take hints well all the time. 😂. It's only funny to me cause I just let some stuff go over my head 😌
Lol 🙏
Great video, some new perspective about men’s behavior in those early days of dating!
I also feel like a lot of men who do this are the same that will tell you not to let your past experiences with other men affect this new potential relationship. Pretty hypocritical, and to some degree all of our current behaviors are colored by our experiences!
100%. they don’t want you to treat them like past guys but will treat you as if you’re their exes. smh. they want a chance and the benefit of the doubt but don’t give you that.
What about men that are the opposite ? That after months and even years don't try to make a move 😔
I hope people communicate their wants better 🙏
WHAT ?? That's an iceberg 🤣🤣🤣🤣 boring man
All women/men are not the same, but communication is VERY IMPORTANT!!! You can communicate that you are interested in a relationship and/or don't want to be friend zoned, etc. without sex having to be the only way.
Some women too
🙏
Nope, first investment a woman makes is on looking good. We cannot show up like some of you guys do, and even the most tidy man will never know how much time, pain and money it costs to maintain a cute natural look: hair, make up, depilation, nails, pretty dress. So if on a first date she looks good, believe she’s in it too. And you bet all that costs more than dinner!
Sex is a whole other dimension of energetic trade🪢 beyond dessert too 👀😹
Exactly. Sex shouldn't be on the table honestly unless the man as time goes by that he is committed.
There are so many different scenarios that's why it's important to express ourselves verbally & ask questions. I like Steve Harvey's book, Think like a man act like a lady. He suggests a woman wait at least 3 months before having intimate relations.
However, open lines of communication are key. I'm going to read some of your books too. Thank you Stephan.
Yes that happens too. Not attempting is definitely a sign for me. I let them know if I'm interested bf they tell me. I don't think he has to make a move just show interest
Sexual tension instead of Sexual Chemistry 😉
Indeed!
Will it be masculine if I paid for the date to avoid intimacy and misunderstandings? I don’t want to rush into breaking my celibacy.
Rather than jumping to pay, just be open to having these discussions in advance to make sure you both are on the same page
One thing not being said in these examples is that the men did not clearly communicate. Teach men to use their words! A man who can’t effectively communicate is not an attractive potential mate. The burden should not be on the woman for some men’s lack of basic communication skills.
You can tell the woman you are interested but want to take it slow. You don't have to show your interest by wanting to have sex.
That’s exactly what my ex was like give me the flowers but he want the sex in return
That high level attraction is still chemistry. Especially when you can't keep your hands away from each other.
1 Corinthians 7 KJV - King James Version
It is good for a man not to touch a woman. 2 Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.
@ange2122 God forgave me of all my sins when I asked him to come into my life. You don't need to give me scripture. I am a widow. Been there and done it.
@@loisclark1883 1 Corinthians 6:9-11 in the Bible states:
"Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived; neither the immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor sexual perverts, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor robbers will inherit the kingdom of God"
@@loisclark1883 Hebrews 12:6-7 KJV - For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth
@loisclark1883 (Hebrews12:6-7 KJV-For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth)
I get that. I have gone out bc I was bored. I don't play the guys tho. I usually let them know the outcome before we even go out. A friend is a friend, no sex. Just chilling, if that isn't what he wants I don't go out with him. Playing games or just playing someone is not me. I don't want to get played, so I don't play them
😒 so what dinner is dinner if you can't afford to court someone you shouldn't ask the woman out! I'll feed people for free and don't want sex and they can be a total stranger. If the man is worthy and have the QUALITIES of a good man she aint just going to just leave him after one damn date make it make sense 🙄 most men that move fast sex IS the only thing they have to bring to the table. Bad credit, baby mommas, no home FAKE LIFE STYLE the list goes on!!!!!
Sounds like everyone thinks the other can read minds these days ...there's no excuses for any of it ...just grow up
Lust, lust, just!
It’s a reality of the dating world most people will have to navigate through
But there are ways to show interest without jumping to sex... what happened to making out?
That just sound like the guy had poor communication.
I was mutually invested for 12 years, what more do you what from ME!!
I'm sorry to hear that 🙏
By a 4th date some of us women appreciate an alpha male. Otherwise we may as well just hang out with our women friends.
As a guy, if we don't push things in a sexual direction somewhat soon, we get put in the "friendzone," and completely lose our opportunity for a romantic relationship.
Women dont make guys wait for long if they are genuinely attracted to them.
Red pill bullshit. Some women can keep their legs closed even if they like a guy. This just sounds like a justification for sexual aggression and coming on too strong. It's a turn off.
@@SR77736Exactly!!!!
They are not equal pound for pound. What about STDs? That can ruin your life.
I woman can say no and it should be respected, not for men to feel used. You need to honour a women's choice to honour herself.
Yes, some people will take advantage, it goes both ways in an equal amount.
Stephan you have good stuff and all - but you dropped the ball on this. Woman, please keep your legs closed. You can get an idea of a man’s intention by the 2nd or 3rd month.
😅 come on, girl. Go to his house alone, sit in his room , on his bed, and "watch TV." There is no clearer comminication. That's on her!
But it's true... The connection was real..and chemistry on point but...the forwardness with the sexual aspect... suffocating ..Some men never give some women a choice in regards to that aspect..
Based on the example you gave with the friend dating the girl for a month. I think for some women, she probably could have been referring to like a kiss. I think sex is kind of extreme. I'm not saying she wasn't referring to sex... but for some women, it would be more like a kiss than sex.
Stephan, you made me laugh. I have a question. Why can't a man say: "I like you, I love to see you again". Instead of make avances for sex. In my opinion, if a guy does that, he doesn't see a woman as wedding material, it is just lust, desire. No connection. Good content.Many Love and Light..
I'm agreeing with Sex is used to avoid emotional int intimacy
If a man is that worried about paying for a meal, he needs to just save his pennies, pay a hooker, and stop the bull$hit.
Just because a man is on the same bed with a man whether her bed or his doesn't mean she wants sex..I got raped that way in the past even though I said NO several times. He knew what NO meant. It was even discovered he did another woman like that.
I’m sorry to hear this happened to you
@@MeetStephanSpeaks Thanks. It's not your fault however.
@@TawandaClark-ii9ps Uh, I think he knows it's not his fault. 😐😒🙄
@@marciawade9101 Usually butting in conversations doesn''t work out well..If you knew that much then you should've known this was like a 2 way conversation..Not a three way.
Been dating a man for a year but I can't keep up. Sometimes I just want to sit and cuddle but mehnnnnnn
And he provides btw