That was a nice video. I like seeing videos that speak of BPD since it isn't spoken if very often like ADHD or Depression/Anxiety although it is the most common personality disorder. BPD is a whole rollercoaster for me especially if it wasn't diagnosed for a long time and raised in an unstable environment. Thank you for this video 💗
@@goertzpsychiatry9340 thank you for being kind. People lashing out are so wounded. They're trying so hard to find someone who'll love them unconditionally. If someone can establish boundaries and goals to success if they behave it can create a great space for healing.
You are so very kind. I don’t know if I have a personality disorder or not. It’s generally been thrown at me by some mental health professional as a reason to kick me out and deny me care. I identify more with the label of complex PTSD, but in some ways I don’t care what you call it at long as you’re nice to me, treat me with compassion, treat me like a competent human being, not a piece of dog crap that got stuck to your shoe. I already feel like dog crap and like I have too many needs too often. My anger scares me so much. I’m quite likely to just go away, hide, cry forever, and try to figure out what I did wrong when someone mistreats me. When I try to stand up for myself, it just goes wrong in all kinds of awful ways and I feel like no one believes me. I once read a theory that BPD is a deficit of oxytocin. I get that. I just want to be loved. Unconditionally. I want kind people and soft things around me. But most of the time, all I can tolerate are my cats. I have a lot of health issues. I’m tired of doing therapy, tired of attempting therapy and being to the same useless things over and over. I just want a drug or ECT or something to make my brain feel less crazy and chaotic. I want my moods to feel more even. I don’t know how to therapy my way to that.
You *exude* so many signs of compassion, strength, and confidence in your own skills as a highly competent clinician just by the way you talk about those patients you've had with borderline personality disorder (even though I do hate the term) It's frustrating how BPD has now become so enmeshed with the incorrect assumption that it's just another word for NPD, that nowadays it's a struggle even *trying* to explain to people that BPD and NPD have a VASTLY different sets of symptoms. Especially when it comes to empathy (e.g. NPD being characterized as a pervasive lack, or almost lacking, of emotional empathy vs. BPD which to me is the complete opposite of that; is actually OVER abundance of emotional empathy to the detriment of the person with BPD). Example: as a person with a loooong and complex history of BPD and trauma, what I struggle with most is the CONSTANT heartbreak that other people I love SO DEEPLY in my life have never seemed to feel the same way about me as I do them. Of course, now I've had years of therapy, I am aware that THOSE people were the healthy and emotionally mature ones while I was the one with the problem. Yes, some people hear me say this and assume I'm blowing my own trumpet saying "oh but just look how empathetic I am, and how badly I've been treated!!" which is not the case at all! I very much accept that my thought processes are NOT healthy. Have never been healthy. And have only served to ruin my relationships because once I feel the inevitable abandonment looming - I cut and run. Manipulation has nothing - NOTHING - to do with the way I interact with people! I can't speak for others with this disorder of course, but once I am in the throws of a relationship crisis I am actually the LAST person who could even entertain the thought of manipulating someone in order to "get them to do with I want them to do"!! My brain and heart are FAR too heartbroken, irritational, I can't even think straight, let alone have enough executive function to willingly manipulate another's feelings! Everything I've done when I'm intensely emotionally dysregulated is a frantic effort to *stop the unbearable, torturous pain I am in*. Yeah, more often than that, because I am so dysregulated I misinterpret EVERYTHING that they have said and turn it around to justify why I am hurting so much inside. But I 100% guarantee this is always because I literally feel, deep in my soul, that the pain I am feeling is so intense, the psychic heartbreak this person I so very love beyond compare, it truly enough to kill me. I equate it almost to the way people with anaphylaxis describe that imminent sense of doom, once their throat is starting to become swollen beyond the point of being able to breathe... and all they can think about is death. Of course it's overdramatic. I have BPD. I AM overdramatic! (albeit much less so now I have insight into my condition!). But unless someone who criticizes me as "manipulative" has experienced just how visceral that sense of incoming death is - they have no right to label me with these words that never have, and never will, be a part of who I know I am. Thank you for creating this post. It truly warms my heart to see mental health clinicians stand up to the epidemic of stigma we BPD sufferers are subjected to every single time we find ourselves in crisis. In our most desperate hours of need. I remember once I had to have an ambulance called to take me to the hospital after one of my two suicide attempts... and the attitude from the ED staff is something I will never forget in my entire life. To the point where I now just completely avoid the hospital, even when suicidal, because it caused me so much trauma I can't even drive past the hospital without having intense anxiety and I can't breathe. I was *screamed* at by nurses telling me to "SHUT THE FUCK UP", I was sniggered at by hospital staff who were looking at me from the nurses station and rolling their eyes. I had to lie there, after having taken an entire bottle of sleeping meds, and self harming, and then passing out from it, to be treated like the worst kind of scum to have ever set foot in that hospital. You... good sir.... you are a *good* man. And the world needs more compassionate, caring, dedicated and strong-willed professionals like you to fight the good fight alongside his patients as you so obviously do. As a Doctor, whose responsibility is the one of the most sacred in our world, who actually does the work in order to garner his patients trust, is sadly becoming so rare nowadays. Thank you for restoring just a little bit of the dying faith I once had in the psychiatric and mental health profession. :) (and I am sorry this was so long!) Louise
From the perspective of being both a licensed DBT Therapist and a diagnosed BPD person I want to thank you for this wise and heartwarming video (Are u single? ...noooo, just kiddin' I also happen to be a happily married woman, but meeting true reliable kindness is so soothing for us)
Thanks for this honest and direct explanation! BPD and DBT are an effective combination. But many therapists and psychiatrists have not been trained in DBT treatment, hence leaving many BPD clients frustrated and wandering from provider to provider who did not know how to help them. Oh, and Dr. Goertz, what style music do you play? Looks like classical or perhaps jazz. I am a drummer and therapist.
Lest we forget that it's simply the ego egoing. Has nothing to do with who they are as souls (observers). Crack the defenses and be reborn. Appreciate your compassionate attitude.
The timing of this video is so strange for me. One of my neighbors ( who was light BPD, by his own admission ) committed sui$ide yesterday. On a couple occasions I had taken care of his pets while he had been admitted to hospital for physical ailments that I suspected he was faking. Aside from helping with his animals I acted kind of standoffishly with him ( and even educated some of my neighbors about shielding ones self against the traps of BPD). I spent the day yesterday with a pit in my stomach wondering if I had been more compassionate and kind instead of being worried about potential drama, maybe it would have made the difference in his decision to take his own life.
Thank you so much for your candid comment. I hope you will able to let go of your feelings of guilt soon. In my opinion there is a fine line to walk in interactions with these people, and I have erred in both directions. Peter Goertz
You went around your neighborhood disclosing, or alleging, a person's diagnosis and painting them as manipulative for no reason and in the aftermath of their suicide you wonder if you should've been kinder? Yes, you should've been. And more informed too.
@@sallyann985 Not exactly. The neighbors to whom I spoke had already expressed that they had felt guilted and manipulated into doing things for him. One was an 80 year old man who got roped into trimming his hedges using a step ladder. Taking a fall at that age is probably the end. I was trying to protect good people. In hindsight I don't regret having been standoffish with him even though his death came as a bit of a shock, at the time. I helped this guy a lot but had to set a firm boundary.
I don't do stuff like that. My shitty feelings are directed toward myself 😩😓. What you described sounds a bit more like narcissism, not BPD. Or maybe I'm different because mine is Covert.
@@jayjay1443 I wish you well. Thank God for Dr. Goertz and all therapists willing to learn and share DBT and other modalities because even the loudest rudest BPD is in such mental agony inside. Thanks for the return comment too. Wishing you every success!
'Quiet' BPD is not a legitimate diagnosis. What the symptoms supposedly are is nothing at all like BPD. Whoever made up QBPD anyway? It's ridiculous to label people with non existent conditions.
Unfortunately, psychiatrists are not themselves immune to this abusive personality type. I encountered a PGY1 with BPD and/or other cluster-b during resident clinic. I corrected something she erroneously stated about a medication during a visit and she flipped. The shocking part is that she wrote up the after visit summary describing me as meeting all cluster-B personality criteria for BPD. I got sent to another clinic after this visit with the stain of BPD on my medical record. She knew exactly what she was doing. I have been seen at that psych clinic for 10 yrs by the best and most experienced psychiatrists I have ever had in my life, funny how none of them in 10 yrs dx BPD or any other cluster-b. This personality type is destructive, what happened to me at the hands of this healthcare provider with BPD was abusive. Please protect your patients from psychiatrists like this.
As a person with BPD (and obviously I am not everyone with BPD but I can think to instances where I have been like this when I was acutely unwell), I can tell you almost quite confidentially that whenever someone has said something that *seemed* like a completely harmless correction over something I've said - I have also "flipped" and become INTENSELY triggered, angry, and I never want anything to do with them again. There was no way in HELL I knew "what I was doing" at all! It was SEVERE emotional dysregulation to the point where I couldn't even think straight, let alone "know what I was doing" (I assume you mean the term everyone who doesn't quite understand why people with BPD react the way they do use... the dreaded "manipulative" label that is so much easier to slap on someone when the other people truly cannot empathise with the fact that other people may not react they same way they do, feel the same things they do, have the same kind of past trauma the way they have had) Without exception, during such a heightened emotional phase, in NO possible way do I have the cognitive capacity to even START to consider how on earth I could manipulate someone into achieving my own evil mastermind objectives! All I can ever see and think is "this person has hurt me. *deeply*. This is bringing up all sorts of horrible flashbacks of trauma for me. This hurts TOO MUCH TO COPE WITH. I need to escape this feeling. I can't live another moment with this feeling. I need to protect myself RIGHT NOW, or I am going to die" (remember this is a person in a HIGHLY DYSREGULATED STATE... nothing, not logic, not reasonableness, not the ability to control what we're doing or saying, not even the ability to just STOP for a moment and assess the situation, NOTHING is going to stop someone with BPD from feeling the kind of anxiety and desire for self-preservation in order for their survival that in turn makes them (especially someone who has no insight and isn't in intensive therapy to learn how to cope with such intense and strong reactions and feelings) turn destructive and aggressive. Or do the opposite and disengage completely, driven by that innate phobia of abandonment that is the stuff of nightmares for us (something I was more prone to do, though there have been times where I've been triggered so much that I have completely burnt every single bridge with people whom I once loved DEEPLY. Something that will be painful for me forever as I was very 'not well' then. Sorry for the long rant, but it just really gets to me, as someone who has been DESPERATELY trying to become self-aware of my condition, and come to terms with what an awful person I once was, when people without this condition leap head over heels straight to pressing the "CAUSE THEY'RE MANIPULATIVE" button - I'm guessing they do this just to make themselves feel better, that it's all the person with BPDs fault, and that they deserve none of anyone's empathy because the non-BPD person can't comprehend that... some people are just in *pain* some people have been so traumatised by other human beings, and usually have already been born with a sensitive personality that hurts a LOT deeply than others, have gone their whole *lives* being stigmatised about it, possibly even blamed for the trauma that they never asked for. A child already disposed to sensitivity, who has been rejected one time too many in their childhood, who then also has something very traumatic happen to them on top of everything else, is someone whose deeply ingrained pain is screaming out every day and every night, does nothing out of manipulation. And everything out of survival. (please don't think I'm excusing abusive behaviour in ANY way. Of course that is unacceptable and I've done unacceptable things that I hate myself for to this very day. But I feel like understanding the WHY of things will forever be more productive than mere labels and blame and stigma.)
@@jayjay1443 A LOT of BPD has massive connections to transference and countertransference this is true. It's hardly EVER to do with the person they are projecting their trauma response onto. Not saying it's right to project in that way, of course, but the trauma response and the human need for self-preservation is STRONG.
@@Aurora-NyxThis is so well-stated that I simply had to say so. The sensations and feelings are, in my understanding (and sometimes experiences) akin to "a child seeking a safe, protective caregiver" in a world mostly embodied (at least partially embodied) with those who wish to be "therapists", and not the caregiver we needed then, and, it seems, at times in the present. I am saddened for the reality that those years cannot be redone, the damage is relatively real (ultimate reality's possibilities aside) and pervasive, and the in-building of "good enough " introjects is very challenging. I think that the field of mental health is, unfortunately pervaded by many with an Altruistic Narcissistic Defense, and the BPD (C-PTSD is more telling imo) doesn't often make a therapist feel helpful, nor garner adulation ('datta boy/girl) from cohorts. Janina Fischer (Fisher) really illuminates the treatment process, but ALL speak of a consistency in relating that is untenable for most, who are only able to utilize Community Mental Health. A parent's job in the early years is terribly important, and it truly sucks to have to reparent the adapted child as an adult. "Unfair", says my inner child, and "We're F'd", says another part. This is not what I signed up for, yet if I have faith, this was my soul's mission- to stop the cycle?! It may be, however, that "I" cannot successfully complete this mission in this lifetime. Perhaps identification of some of the backlash and consequences for self and others is all I'll have done. Maybe it will therefore be easier to move through the disbelief/denial earlier, and strengthened for this journey in the next incarnation. I hope you're well.
Boarder line personality disorder is NOT a disorder at all..... Main steam psychology will ONLY focus upon the HUMAM STATE OF AWARENESS....This is tragic seeing that people who are dealing with this have many reasons why this is happening simply due to their toxic experiences in life. Finding the root cause so that I can be healed vs MEDICATING THEM is the CURE!! Find yourself a spiritual healer or coach or spiritual Pcycotherapist that will guide you back to re-membering who you really are without the EGO IDENTY
@@wendi2819 I can attest to that. Best thing I ever did was find my AMAZING beautiful psychiatrist after about 14 years lost in the system, with therapists who just didn't know what to do with me.
Hi Doc🙋 thank you for speaking kindly about my terminally ill mind 😊 You use words to describe us like interesting,and you learn a lot, well thats great that we are being described as subjects to be studied, I have to say ,i hear that a lot too so if u want another subject to study I can send you a letter of recommendation from someone who appreciates my input a lot and she says if shes depressed i make her laugh a lot and she says im her coach Disclaimer, these are not my words, im not accountable since im certified insane! Butvif youre stillvinterested And i also need a therapist So maybe win win ? 😊But then again you also described us as unruly and not following rules Well if you pretend to be an expert, Than you should understand That if one is charged with being sick in the head And there is no treatment Wy do you people expect us to behave like you? And if not we are punished for needing basic adjustments for our needs Just like other special needs person Like a paralized person needs a wheelchair I really want to zoom talk with you and fellow borderliners and a therapist or pshychiatrists Or behavioural scientist And have a public discussion Well just some ideas
@@goertzpsychiatry9340 Well it wasnt only input The fact that my life has been ruined By others opinion of Borderline Like im seen as even worse than a psychopath That is abuse and gaslighting on its own. To blame someone that its their own fault for being abused and traumatized and not being able to function, as others want you to And get punished for it? I thought bullieing was a bad thing But random Adults think its ok to Kick you even more when you down right Doc And then wonder why people get violent ? Yeah right Well anyway good talk
They never tell you if you do have BPD. I looked in my notes and it’s been there for months and she never told me. We are Supposed to just be inherently bad. And yet you say that that’s one of our main symptoms that we think we’re just bad. Well, maybe tell us WHY! Diagnose us! We are supposed to understand and be tolerant of people with Tourette’s, with autism, with Down’s, and yet if anyone has BPD illness we’re supposed to 1) not diagnose it and 2) just say that we are rude mean people. Bullshit. And I was misdiagnosed and no one ever questioned the doctors 15 minute interview in the hospital. I was over medicated for years which robbed me of my life, my reputation, and any awareness whatsoever so that I could even remotely begin to heal. Awareness is so key. Nothing has worked except body meditation. Therapists sit across from you and argue. Novel idea: sit Beside us and Understand/validate, maybe just maybe?!!
Hi Tina, I don’t know the answers to your questions, but in my own experience seeing patients the answer to both questions is probably no. Peter Goertz
I have heard the reverse said. That BPD are more often sexually abused, and have more EDs. The BPD label is actually criticized a lot, for taking people with many comorbidities. Like they're just labeling complicated profiles, but there's no cohesive disorder. Like its the “waste basket” or “miscellaneous” diagnosis.
That was a nice video. I like seeing videos that speak of BPD since it isn't spoken if very often like ADHD or Depression/Anxiety although it is the most common personality disorder. BPD is a whole rollercoaster for me especially if it wasn't diagnosed for a long time and raised in an unstable environment. Thank you for this video 💗
Thank you! Peter Goertz
It's so wonderful to find anyone who doesn't speak about BPD as monsters. Thank you sir for your considerate talk. 💗
@@goertzpsychiatry9340 thank you for being kind. People lashing out are so wounded. They're trying so hard to find someone who'll love them unconditionally. If someone can establish boundaries and goals to success if they behave it can create a great space for healing.
You are so very kind. I don’t know if I have a personality disorder or not. It’s generally been thrown at me by some mental health professional as a reason to kick me out and deny me care. I identify more with the label of complex PTSD, but in some ways I don’t care what you call it at long as you’re nice to me, treat me with compassion, treat me like a competent human being, not a piece of dog crap that got stuck to your shoe. I already feel like dog crap and like I have too many needs too often. My anger scares me so much. I’m quite likely to just go away, hide, cry forever, and try to figure out what I did wrong when someone mistreats me. When I try to stand up for myself, it just goes wrong in all kinds of awful ways and I feel like no one believes me. I once read a theory that BPD is a deficit of oxytocin. I get that. I just want to be loved. Unconditionally. I want kind people and soft things around me. But most of the time, all I can tolerate are my cats. I have a lot of health issues. I’m tired of doing therapy, tired of attempting therapy and being to the same useless things over and over. I just want a drug or ECT or something to make my brain feel less crazy and chaotic. I want my moods to feel more even. I don’t know how to therapy my way to that.
Thank you for your kind words.
Thank you for sharing your experiences. I hope things improve for you soon. Peter Goertz
You *exude* so many signs of compassion, strength, and confidence in your own skills as a highly competent clinician just by the way you talk about those patients you've had with borderline personality disorder (even though I do hate the term)
It's frustrating how BPD has now become so enmeshed with the incorrect assumption that it's just another word for NPD, that nowadays it's a struggle even *trying* to explain to people that BPD and NPD have a VASTLY different sets of symptoms. Especially when it comes to empathy (e.g. NPD being characterized as a pervasive lack, or almost lacking, of emotional empathy vs. BPD which to me is the complete opposite of that; is actually OVER abundance of emotional empathy to the detriment of the person with BPD).
Example: as a person with a loooong and complex history of BPD and trauma, what I struggle with most is the CONSTANT heartbreak that other people I love SO DEEPLY in my life have never seemed to feel the same way about me as I do them. Of course, now I've had years of therapy, I am aware that THOSE people were the healthy and emotionally mature ones while I was the one with the problem. Yes, some people hear me say this and assume I'm blowing my own trumpet saying "oh but just look how empathetic I am, and how badly I've been treated!!" which is not the case at all! I very much accept that my thought processes are NOT healthy. Have never been healthy. And have only served to ruin my relationships because once I feel the inevitable abandonment looming - I cut and run.
Manipulation has nothing - NOTHING - to do with the way I interact with people! I can't speak for others with this disorder of course, but once I am in the throws of a relationship crisis I am actually the LAST person who could even entertain the thought of manipulating someone in order to "get them to do with I want them to do"!! My brain and heart are FAR too heartbroken, irritational, I can't even think straight, let alone have enough executive function to willingly manipulate another's feelings! Everything I've done when I'm intensely emotionally dysregulated is a frantic effort to *stop the unbearable, torturous pain I am in*. Yeah, more often than that, because I am so dysregulated I misinterpret EVERYTHING that they have said and turn it around to justify why I am hurting so much inside. But I 100% guarantee this is always because I literally feel, deep in my soul, that the pain I am feeling is so intense, the psychic heartbreak this person I so very love beyond compare, it truly enough to kill me.
I equate it almost to the way people with anaphylaxis describe that imminent sense of doom, once their throat is starting to become swollen beyond the point of being able to breathe... and all they can think about is death.
Of course it's overdramatic. I have BPD. I AM overdramatic! (albeit much less so now I have insight into my condition!). But unless someone who criticizes me as "manipulative" has experienced just how visceral that sense of incoming death is - they have no right to label me with these words that never have, and never will, be a part of who I know I am.
Thank you for creating this post. It truly warms my heart to see mental health clinicians stand up to the epidemic of stigma we BPD sufferers are subjected to every single time we find ourselves in crisis. In our most desperate hours of need. I remember once I had to have an ambulance called to take me to the hospital after one of my two suicide attempts... and the attitude from the ED staff is something I will never forget in my entire life. To the point where I now just completely avoid the hospital, even when suicidal, because it caused me so much trauma I can't even drive past the hospital without having intense anxiety and I can't breathe. I was *screamed* at by nurses telling me to "SHUT THE FUCK UP", I was sniggered at by hospital staff who were looking at me from the nurses station and rolling their eyes.
I had to lie there, after having taken an entire bottle of sleeping meds, and self harming, and then passing out from it, to be treated like the worst kind of scum to have ever set foot in that hospital.
You... good sir.... you are a *good* man. And the world needs more compassionate, caring, dedicated and strong-willed professionals like you to fight the good fight alongside his patients as you so obviously do. As a Doctor, whose responsibility is the one of the most sacred in our world, who actually does the work in order to garner his patients trust, is sadly becoming so rare nowadays.
Thank you for restoring just a little bit of the dying faith I once had in the psychiatric and mental health profession. :) (and I am sorry this was so long!)
Louise
Hi Louise,
I appreciate your kind words.
Thank you for sharing your personal experiences. This can help others.
Peter Goertz
Wonderful description of what it is like to work with such patients, and some great advice. As a third-year psychiatry resident. Best.
Thank you! Peter Goertz
From the perspective of being both a licensed DBT Therapist and a diagnosed BPD person I want to thank you for this wise and heartwarming video (Are u single? ...noooo, just kiddin' I also happen to be a happily married woman, but meeting true reliable kindness is so soothing for us)
Thank you very much Christine! Peter Goertz
BPD is hell to deal with
Thank you for your input. Peter Goertz
Thanks for this honest and direct explanation! BPD and DBT are an effective combination. But many therapists and psychiatrists have not been trained in DBT treatment, hence leaving many BPD clients frustrated and wandering from provider to provider who did not know how to help them. Oh, and Dr. Goertz, what style music do you play? Looks like classical or perhaps jazz. I am a drummer and therapist.
Thank you! I appreciate your input. I play rock’n’roll. Peter Goertz
Lest we forget that it's simply the ego egoing. Has nothing to do with who they are as souls (observers). Crack the defenses and be reborn. Appreciate your compassionate attitude.
Thank you Molly for sharing this! Peter Goertz
THANKYOU sooooo much for this amazingly insightful video!
Thank you for your kind comment! Peter Goertz
Not bad, and a different take than what is more common.
Thank you Benjamin!
The timing of this video is so strange for me. One of my neighbors ( who was light BPD, by his own admission ) committed sui$ide yesterday. On a couple occasions I had taken care of his pets while he had been admitted to hospital for physical ailments that I suspected he was faking. Aside from helping with his animals I acted kind of standoffishly with him ( and even educated some of my neighbors about shielding ones self against the traps of BPD). I spent the day yesterday with a pit in my stomach wondering if I had been more compassionate and kind instead of being worried about potential drama, maybe it would have made the difference in his decision to take his own life.
Thank you so much for your candid comment. I hope you will able to let go of your feelings of guilt soon. In my opinion there is a fine line to walk in interactions with these people, and I have erred in both directions. Peter Goertz
It's not your fault. He made his choice.
It's not your fault. He made his choice
You went around your neighborhood disclosing, or alleging, a person's diagnosis and painting them as manipulative for no reason and in the aftermath of their suicide you wonder if you should've been kinder? Yes, you should've been. And more informed too.
@@sallyann985 Not exactly. The neighbors to whom I spoke had already expressed that they had felt guilted and manipulated into doing things for him. One was an 80 year old man who got roped into trimming his hedges using a step ladder. Taking a fall at that age is probably the end. I was trying to protect good people. In hindsight I don't regret having been standoffish with him even though his death came as a bit of a shock, at the time. I helped this guy a lot but had to set a firm boundary.
I don't do stuff like that. My shitty feelings are directed toward myself 😩😓. What you described sounds a bit more like narcissism, not BPD. Or maybe I'm different because mine is Covert.
Thank you for your input! Peter Goertz
There is Quiet borderline.
@@wendi2819 That's what I was diagnosed with. It's the overt borderlines that therapists refuse to treat that gives all of us a bad name.
@@jayjay1443 I wish you well. Thank God for Dr. Goertz and all therapists willing to learn and share DBT and other modalities because even the loudest rudest BPD is in such mental agony inside. Thanks for the return comment too. Wishing you every success!
'Quiet' BPD is not a legitimate diagnosis. What the symptoms supposedly are is nothing at all like BPD. Whoever made up QBPD anyway? It's ridiculous to label people with non existent conditions.
Unfortunately, psychiatrists are not themselves immune to this abusive personality type. I encountered a PGY1 with BPD and/or other cluster-b during resident clinic. I corrected something she erroneously stated about a medication during a visit and she flipped. The shocking part is that she wrote up the after visit summary describing me as meeting all cluster-B personality criteria for BPD. I got sent to another clinic after this visit with the stain of BPD on my medical record. She knew exactly what she was doing. I have been seen at that psych clinic for 10 yrs by the best and most experienced psychiatrists I have ever had in my life, funny how none of them in 10 yrs dx BPD or any other cluster-b. This personality type is destructive, what happened to me at the hands of this healthcare provider with BPD was abusive. Please protect your patients from psychiatrists like this.
Thank you for your personal comment. You make an important point: staff members can suffer from the same issues as patients. Peter Goertz
Is it really abuse, or is the patient projecting their feelings about themselves toward others, including their therapist or psychiatrist?
As a person with BPD (and obviously I am not everyone with BPD but I can think to instances where I have been like this when I was acutely unwell), I can tell you almost quite confidentially that whenever someone has said something that *seemed* like a completely harmless correction over something I've said - I have also "flipped" and become INTENSELY triggered, angry, and I never want anything to do with them again. There was no way in HELL I knew "what I was doing" at all! It was SEVERE emotional dysregulation to the point where I couldn't even think straight, let alone "know what I was doing" (I assume you mean the term everyone who doesn't quite understand why people with BPD react the way they do use... the dreaded "manipulative" label that is so much easier to slap on someone when the other people truly cannot empathise with the fact that other people may not react they same way they do, feel the same things they do, have the same kind of past trauma the way they have had)
Without exception, during such a heightened emotional phase, in NO possible way do I have the cognitive capacity to even START to consider how on earth I could manipulate someone into achieving my own evil mastermind objectives! All I can ever see and think is "this person has hurt me. *deeply*. This is bringing up all sorts of horrible flashbacks of trauma for me. This hurts TOO MUCH TO COPE WITH. I need to escape this feeling. I can't live another moment with this feeling. I need to protect myself RIGHT NOW, or I am going to die" (remember this is a person in a HIGHLY DYSREGULATED STATE... nothing, not logic, not reasonableness, not the ability to control what we're doing or saying, not even the ability to just STOP for a moment and assess the situation, NOTHING is going to stop someone with BPD from feeling the kind of anxiety and desire for self-preservation in order for their survival that in turn makes them (especially someone who has no insight and isn't in intensive therapy to learn how to cope with such intense and strong reactions and feelings) turn destructive and aggressive. Or do the opposite and disengage completely, driven by that innate phobia of abandonment that is the stuff of nightmares for us (something I was more prone to do, though there have been times where I've been triggered so much that I have completely burnt every single bridge with people whom I once loved DEEPLY. Something that will be painful for me forever as I was very 'not well' then.
Sorry for the long rant, but it just really gets to me, as someone who has been DESPERATELY trying to become self-aware of my condition, and come to terms with what an awful person I once was, when people without this condition leap head over heels straight to pressing the "CAUSE THEY'RE MANIPULATIVE" button - I'm guessing they do this just to make themselves feel better, that it's all the person with BPDs fault, and that they deserve none of anyone's empathy because the non-BPD person can't comprehend that...
some people are just in *pain*
some people have been so traumatised by other human beings, and usually have already been born with a sensitive personality that hurts a LOT deeply than others, have gone their whole *lives* being stigmatised about it, possibly even blamed for the trauma that they never asked for.
A child already disposed to sensitivity, who has been rejected one time too many in their childhood, who then also has something very traumatic happen to them on top of everything else, is someone whose deeply ingrained pain is screaming out every day and every night, does nothing out of manipulation. And everything out of survival.
(please don't think I'm excusing abusive behaviour in ANY way. Of course that is unacceptable and I've done unacceptable things that I hate myself for to this very day. But I feel like understanding the WHY of things will forever be more productive than mere labels and blame and stigma.)
@@jayjay1443 A LOT of BPD has massive connections to transference and countertransference this is true. It's hardly EVER to do with the person they are projecting their trauma response onto. Not saying it's right to project in that way, of course, but the trauma response and the human need for self-preservation is STRONG.
@@Aurora-NyxThis is so well-stated that I simply had to say so.
The sensations and feelings are, in my understanding (and sometimes experiences) akin to "a child seeking a safe, protective caregiver" in a world mostly embodied (at least partially embodied) with those who wish to be "therapists", and not the caregiver we needed then, and, it seems, at times in the present.
I am saddened for the reality that those years cannot be redone, the damage is relatively real (ultimate reality's possibilities aside) and pervasive, and the in-building of "good enough " introjects is very challenging. I think that the field of mental health is, unfortunately pervaded by many with an Altruistic Narcissistic Defense, and the BPD (C-PTSD is more telling imo) doesn't often make a therapist feel helpful, nor garner adulation ('datta boy/girl) from cohorts.
Janina Fischer (Fisher) really illuminates the treatment process, but ALL speak of a consistency in relating that is untenable for most, who are only able to utilize Community Mental Health.
A parent's job in the early years is terribly important, and it truly sucks to have to reparent the adapted child as an adult. "Unfair", says my inner child, and "We're F'd", says another part. This is not what I signed up for, yet if I have faith, this was my soul's mission- to stop the cycle?! It may be, however, that "I" cannot successfully complete this mission in this lifetime. Perhaps identification of some of the backlash and consequences for self and others is all I'll have done. Maybe it will therefore be easier to move through the disbelief/denial earlier, and strengthened for this journey in the next incarnation. I hope you're well.
Boarder line personality disorder is NOT a disorder at all.....
Main steam psychology will ONLY focus upon the HUMAM STATE OF AWARENESS....This is tragic seeing that people who are dealing with this have many reasons why this is happening simply due to their toxic experiences in life. Finding the root cause so that I can be healed vs MEDICATING THEM is the CURE!!
Find yourself a spiritual healer or coach or spiritual Pcycotherapist that will guide you back to re-membering who you really are without the EGO IDENTY
Thank you for your input Teresa. Peter Goertz
It seems BPD and CPTSD share many characteristics. Being wounded in childhood stays with a person. Therapy is very useful to BPD healing.
@@wendi2819 I can attest to that. Best thing I ever did was find my AMAZING beautiful psychiatrist after about 14 years lost in the system, with therapists who just didn't know what to do with me.
Some people would prefer it to be called complex post traumatic response
Hi Doc🙋
thank you for speaking kindly about my terminally ill mind 😊
You use words to describe us like interesting,and you learn a lot, well thats great that we are being described as subjects to be studied,
I have to say ,i hear that a lot too so if u want another subject to study
I can send you a letter of recommendation from someone who appreciates my input a lot and she says if shes depressed i make her laugh a lot and she says im her coach
Disclaimer, these are not my words, im not accountable since im certified insane!
Butvif youre stillvinterested
And i also need a therapist
So maybe win win ?
😊But then again you also described us as unruly and not following rules
Well if you pretend to be an expert,
Than you should understand
That if one is charged with being sick in the head
And there is no treatment
Wy do you people expect us to behave like you?
And if not we are punished for needing basic adjustments for our needs
Just like other special needs person
Like a paralized person needs a wheelchair
I really want to zoom talk with you and fellow borderliners and a therapist or pshychiatrists
Or behavioural scientist
And have a public discussion
Well just some ideas
Thank you for your input! Peter Goertz
@@goertzpsychiatry9340
Well it wasnt only input
The fact that my life has been ruined
By others opinion of Borderline
Like im seen as even worse than a psychopath
That is abuse and gaslighting on its own.
To blame someone that its their own fault for being abused and traumatized and not being able to function, as others want you to
And get punished for it?
I thought bullieing was a bad thing
But random Adults think its ok to
Kick you even more when you down right Doc
And then wonder why people get violent ?
Yeah right
Well anyway good talk
Thank you for bringing up this important issue.
OH you know nevermind i finished the video my bad still need you to see this okay
my bad okay but you already know, it still sucks
Really i realized you were speaking on behalf of other curious people who want to help
That was a very sad read. Were you mistreated by the mental health field? You don't have to answer, but I was.
They never tell you if you do have BPD. I looked in my notes and it’s been there for months and she never told me. We are Supposed to just be inherently bad. And yet you say that that’s one of our main symptoms that we think we’re just bad. Well, maybe tell us WHY! Diagnose us! We are supposed to understand and be tolerant of people with Tourette’s, with autism, with Down’s, and yet if anyone has BPD illness we’re supposed to 1) not diagnose it and 2) just say that we are rude mean people. Bullshit. And I was misdiagnosed and no one ever questioned the doctors 15 minute interview in the hospital. I was over medicated for years which robbed me of my life, my reputation, and any awareness whatsoever so that I could even remotely begin to heal. Awareness is so key. Nothing has worked except body meditation. Therapists sit across from you and argue. Novel idea: sit Beside us and Understand/validate, maybe just maybe?!!
Thank you for sharing this. Peter Goertz
Do most sexual abuse survivors suffer with BPD? If you have an eating disorder , do you likely have BPD?
Hi Tina, I don’t know the answers to your questions, but in my own experience seeing patients the answer to both questions is probably no. Peter Goertz
Thank you @@goertzpsychiatry9340
I have heard the reverse said. That BPD are more often sexually abused, and have more EDs. The BPD label is actually criticized a lot, for taking people with many comorbidities. Like they're just labeling complicated profiles, but there's no cohesive disorder. Like its the “waste basket” or “miscellaneous” diagnosis.