7 Ways Churches Make Visitors Feel Uncomfortable

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  • Опубликовано: 11 сен 2024

Комментарии • 77

  • @dhearndon
    @dhearndon 4 года назад +23

    You come to our little church, they want you to fill out visitor card and the pastor will tell everyone your name and says “give them a handclap”. I would think the handclap would feel weird to the visitors.

  • @ericgideon9237
    @ericgideon9237 5 лет назад +25

    1: Dirty Looks
    2: No one to greet/introduce (not always the case*)
    3: Intimidation
    4: No where to sit
    5: No new programs
    6: Very unwelcoming attitude towards singles - only couples or young parents are welcomed
    7: Threats

    • @A-t-r-u-s
      @A-t-r-u-s 5 лет назад +8

      #6 - even though I've been going to my local church for 3 years, I still feel out of place because I'm single w/no kids. I stopped going to family events because I didn't want to be "that guy" at the table, intruding on people's family time.

    • @Kevin_Forbes
      @Kevin_Forbes 5 лет назад +3

      Same here on #6, kind of stopped trying with most social things at my church because of that. I'm there in ministry involvement but I can't keep doing something that is pushing me out.

    • @Dilley_G45
      @Dilley_G45 4 года назад +1

      My only experience was the singles part...I get not really included....with or without kids...actually first visit is usually fine cause they treat you nice

    • @2763.goiky-musketeer
      @2763.goiky-musketeer 3 года назад

      I’ve experienced #1 #2 #4

    • @TroyGrahamPhotography
      @TroyGrahamPhotography 8 месяцев назад

      I finally found a church, where I feel welcome. Sadly, most churches want married couples with kids and large bank accounts.

  • @nowankersallowed2115
    @nowankersallowed2115 4 года назад +7

    I love this !! It can be intimidating even as a believer to attend a differing church or to decide it's time to return to church. I don't think many people realise how hard even that is.. it's really really hard at times.. and attitude is everything. Rather than neccesarily praying for those who have left for whatever reason.. (if they left they had their own reasons) praying God help us to be the right people with the right attitude if they do return. It really can make the world of difference.. because it is such a battle when it's felt God wants you to return to where you don't want to be and you KNOW your walking into those uggh are you actually going to stick around this time..?? Which yes does actually happen.
    Or hang on is the roof going to fall in? It may be meant as humour.. but it can be a very sensitive time to return to something you've left.
    These guys show thoughtfulness, understanding and openness.
    They seem very approachable and friendly. Thank you for being encouraging. (Experience of a habitual church backslider)

  • @dyngbld
    @dyngbld 5 лет назад +10

    We have moved many times and finding a new Church is always a task. I will often go to a Wednesday night service (if they have one). You can get a real feel about the "core" people at an other then Sunday service.

    • @prochurchtools
      @prochurchtools  5 лет назад +3

      Darryl Youngblood Pro move

    • @lonniesaint655
      @lonniesaint655 4 года назад +2

      Man I feel ya! Churches are some of the most unfriendly places ever. It's sad! I think you will find doing stuff at home is better

  • @dreahomes3852
    @dreahomes3852 4 года назад +8

    To Elijah Gideon I've experienced number 1, 3, 6, and 7 when I was a new member. I think everyone experience number 6 as a visitor especially if you are single with no kids you're sitting up there like wow they are treating you just like being in the world treat you. Like you're nothing without a partner or kids, or you're not saved because you're alone, I'm just saying very uncomfortable. That's why people watch online.

    • @prochurchtools
      @prochurchtools  4 года назад +3

      So sorry you've felt isolated for being single Drea! I hope the church begins to recognize and elevate singleness in the way we see both Jesus and Paul do in the New Testament by recognizing the value of single people and finding ways to place them in family like communities and groups. 😊

  • @lauvasquez7198
    @lauvasquez7198 2 года назад +3

    Explaining how to find a specific verse on a Bible. I remember the first time I heard someone quote something from the Bible and not knowing what they were talking about.

  • @valuecalc
    @valuecalc Год назад +1

    Many visitors probably never go back. Instead of building faith, ministers want to discuss fundraising projects and wish to recruit many volunteers.

  • @romano7628
    @romano7628 10 месяцев назад

    I REALLY appreciate the fact that you did NOT say " We want people to come to church so we have bigger attendance" 👍👍👍
    You got your head in the right place, keep up the good work 🔥

  • @pineapple3555
    @pineapple3555 5 лет назад +4

    I hate shaking hands... I literally had a breakdown the last time I went 😭 now I have to go again in a couple of hours with my family and I’m here crying. There’s definitely something wrong with me.

    • @prochurchtools
      @prochurchtools  5 лет назад +2

      We all have our different boundaries. This doesn't mean there's something wrong with you. ♥️
      I hope you're able to find a way to balance the preferred physical boundaries you have and participating and connecting with a church community. 😊

    • @luckyclarke7189
      @luckyclarke7189 4 года назад +2

      Aww hope you were ok?My first time was in tears too and I felt beyond the bottom of the pit down depressed and alone but since then 8yrs on its been awesome and God is good

    • @Mrs.JessRich
      @Mrs.JessRich 2 года назад

      The worst part about church😫

  • @stevehicks399
    @stevehicks399 Год назад +1

    Sitting by yourself is the hardest thing

  • @Magyarorsz
    @Magyarorsz 2 года назад +1

    1.weird in club rules ( like speaking tongues new visitors never seen anything akin makes you feel a bit uneasy)
    2. Want you sign up to programmes and bombard you automated messages very next to few days.
    3. Sermons were aimed at individualistic ideologies allot of I
    Can not "We Can".
    4. Think it's a general problem anywhere in the world if not there on Sunday somehow your name drops off the list in the "worldly other".
    Got the heck outta that Church said "yeah this building it whatever isn't for me, I don't care if the worship is amazing to listen to or the bright lights with swanky looking building even the leaders have swanky vechiles to but fail to actual difference in people lives where homelessness is rift where I am from not a message I can support.

  • @kiekie84
    @kiekie84 2 года назад +1

    Heres my list
    1. everyone greeting the newcomer before service starts and let me just say doing that can be super overwhelming and frankly most of the time it's too much so just send a few people around to say hi and to chit chat but not everyone in the entire building everyone will get a chance next time or eventually
    2. pass out pamphlets at the door stating everything from how the service will go and what the message is about to a map of where the bathrooms are where the kids go what time the singing starts what song the choir is going to sing and make it simple and to the point and friendly to read
    3. also have those pamphlets online for easy click and read access just in case they wanna go over it the night before as they relax in bed or in their car at the parking lot church
    4. and yes announce the pamphlet at the beginning of the service and offer to pass one out to anyone who wants one just in case they missed the one at the door or the same one online
    5. be on the lookout if you see them sitting alone before the service starts to go over and sit by them ask "is this seat taken?" and start up some small talk "IF it seems they don't mind" many times newcomers will have church folks coming up to them and chatting before service which is great! but then everyone leaves and goes to sit with their regulars how about changing it up and deciding to sit with the newcomer so you can chit chat a bit and even talk with them about god at the end of the service "but only if they seem receptive to talking about god nearing the end of the service"
    6. don't pressure them! about god about coming back about salvation about praying all that but if you've been chatting with them and better yet if you also sat with them keeping them company throughout the service then nearing the end of service when the music is playing just let them gently know "hey I just wanted to let you know if you ever need assistance in anything prayer or prayer request questions about god anything about our church and what we do here anything at all I'm all ears and I'm always available" and then go about what you normally do while staying available and nearby in case they decide to take you up on your offer
    7. don't do cringy stuff like having a guest stand up and announce their name or go up to every guest at the beginning of service to walk around the aisle and hand out a mug with the church logo on it or whatever just don't make them feel like a red dot in a blue field lol ya know what I'm saying
    those are what I consider key things to remember and ps: I should know I've been raised in church had a born-again experience as an adult spent 10 years in church soul-winning and dedicated to the lord and now have spent the last 4 years as an ex Christian trust me! "y'all can be super overwhelming very cringy and so confusing" "and yes I was that way when I was a Christian too"

  • @Mulerider4Life
    @Mulerider4Life 5 лет назад +3

    I think there may be a trend with making the services a bit more basic and easier to understand, grasping general ideas. Then the meat and potatoes will be from your self reading and studying along with your discipleship classes.

  • @bobbyjohnson5637
    @bobbyjohnson5637 11 месяцев назад

    For me with bad nerves and anxiety being in a church where they are just screaming and shouting and holloring has me super uncomfortable

  • @marcantallita
    @marcantallita 2 года назад +1

    I haven't go to church since I was a teenager. Now in my 40s I feel a calling but like you say. I'm one of those that don't know how to begin.

  • @KellyS_77
    @KellyS_77 Месяц назад

    Went to church this morning for the first time in over 25 years. It was so super uncomfortable. They wanted me to fill out an "intro card" but they didn't have a pen, so I had to rummage through my bag and give them one. Then they just sort of so "thanks" and stared awkwardly at me until I walked down the hallway (luckily there was a sign pointing the way). I take a seat in the middle of a row (thinking that surely someone will sit on one side of me or another. Nope. I had the whole row to myself (uncomfortable!) I got kind of a dirty look for not singing because it's my first visit, I don't know the melody. (Though I admit that it may have just been projection on my part.). At the end of service they did that "say hello to your neighbor" but it was basically everyone chit chatting about their week or what they were doing after church, kids sports etc. It was obvious they all knew each other. I just sat there looking around and hoping someone would take notice of the newbie (me) and come say hello. Nobody did. Finally I decided I should just go before I broke down in tears or something. I walked out of the building and saw the lady that had first said hello to me (the intro card lady). She was talking to someone else (that she clearly knew), she said "bye" and that was literally it
    A "thanks for visiting" or "see you next week?" would've made a world of difference.
    I felt incredibly out of place, very awkward, and just totally uncomfortable.
    I likely will go back next week (and sit somewhere in a smaller row). Hopefully it'll be a little less uncomfortably awkward.

    • @prochurchtools
      @prochurchtools  Месяц назад

      Really sorry you had a tough first experience like this. I commend you for going somewhere new for the first time and even considering returning despite it being uncomfortable!

    • @KellyS_77
      @KellyS_77 Месяц назад

      @@prochurchtools I’m willing to give them a second chance, but if next week is that awkward I’ll visit a different church instead.

    • @prochurchtools
      @prochurchtools  Месяц назад

      @@KellyS_77 Makes sense.

  • @princesslady646
    @princesslady646 2 года назад

    I was born and raised in the church and I can’t stand the visitor spot light moment. I’ve just moved across country so I’m really catching it now visiting different churches.

  • @michaelsomerville9286
    @michaelsomerville9286 11 месяцев назад

    I am convinced that most churches don’t want anyone intruding on their church or their heaven. I will probably die not knowing a single Christian that has ever wanted me to be saved. God loves me but his bride absolutely hates and loathes me. God may accept me into heaven but most certainly against the wishes of his people. Wonderful

  • @Contentcreator24s
    @Contentcreator24s 4 года назад +1

    I always check the website first or I'll go check it out by myself first b4 bringing my family.

    • @prochurchtools
      @prochurchtools  4 года назад

      Same! I always go to the website first. 😊

  • @johnsubhash
    @johnsubhash 5 лет назад +4

    Thanks bro...God bless your valuable work...

  • @IgonDrakeWarrior
    @IgonDrakeWarrior 2 года назад

    About to try out a new church. First visit in years. Let’s see how this goes. 😐

  • @rubenparada866
    @rubenparada866 5 лет назад

    Liked the final touch with Alex :-)
    Great topic, keep it up.
    Thanks.

  • @jordanvalentine3761
    @jordanvalentine3761 5 лет назад +3

    Treat yo self!

  • @aaronwaggoner8014
    @aaronwaggoner8014 5 лет назад +13

    We (the Church, the Body of Christ) are to GO and make disciples, not bring them in to the church building. The church is a body of BELIEVERS. Why would you want to invite the wolves in among the sheep. Yes, be bold witnesses out in your communities, but until someone gets saved, there's not reason to be intentional about getting them inside your church building. Ok, so you maybe a special evangelism event is fine; but not your weekly Sunday morning services or even Wednesday night services for that matter. THIS is why the church has become doctrinally ignorant. The modern American church only cares about getting the unsaved into their seats, which then leads to seeker sensitivity, which leads to turning a worship service into entertainment all for the sake of reaching the lost. You've got it all backwards.

    • @prochurchtools
      @prochurchtools  5 лет назад +7

      Seems like a pretty narrow view of reaching people with the hope of Jesus. Why not do both? Countless millions have found faith in Christ because they were invited into a warm, friendly church and shown the tangible love of God. Sometimes belonging comes before belief.

    • @aaronwaggoner8014
      @aaronwaggoner8014 5 лет назад +1

      @@prochurchtools And that's where our theology takes us down different paths. I am reformed in my soteriology. God has chosen those that are His and written their names in the Lamb's Book of Life before time began. Nothing you do will altar the outcome of those that will be saved. So why evangelize? Because we are commanded to, and we have the privilege to do it. Regeneration comes before belief (not necessarily chronologically, but logically). People have been saved in dark damp rooms with dirt floors. Out God is big enough to save someone and call His sheep even if a church doesn't do parking or seating "correctly" according to your methods. I pray churches in America will stop running them like corporations and more like the body of Christ (which is only made up of believers).

    • @Sheba_316
      @Sheba_316 5 лет назад +3

      I hear what you're saying, I dnt agree with all of it. Jesus said go out into the highways and byways and compel them to come in.. there's nothing wrong with inviting people to church. I understand your point that the church should remain faithful to the gospel by not diluting it for the sake of visitors therefore it becomes entertainment. I believe people want to hear the truth.

    • @tonyroy8410
      @tonyroy8410 5 лет назад

      so how do you do it?

    • @tonyroy8410
      @tonyroy8410 5 лет назад +3

      @@aaronwaggoner8014 so you evangelize knowing you make zero difference? How do you evangelize with zeal? It must be very monotonous knowing you can't make any difference and only doing it because you have to, I train dogs and the old school way of training makes your dog do it because you told them to not because they want to, so the dog ends up working with half their heart because they aren't working because they want to but because they have to. The newer way of training teaches the dogs to do it with umph and it makes them want to work so they work with their whole heart..I assume being a calvinist is the same, you must witness to people with half your hearts , you sure God works that way? Is there a possibility you could be wrong about that?? Or you have it completely figured out and everyone else is wrong but you are right? I highly doubt that calvinism is really how God operates or is how God has it setup, a bunch of robots out witnessing to people with half their heart knowing the person they are talking to is already doomed and they are wasting their time and God is so loving that He sends people to hell with no choice in the matter, ya I'm sure that's how God operates...not

  • @Raptorsified
    @Raptorsified 2 года назад

    I noticed the GTA major sports merch in the background. I'm someone who's lived in the GTA and wants to look into speaking to someone at a local church. I was wondering if you all had any recommendations about any churches in the Markham area. Thank you very much for this video.

  • @nolongerconfuzed
    @nolongerconfuzed Год назад

    I think the first mistake is calling them visitors instead of guests.

    • @valuecalc
      @valuecalc Год назад

      And then comes the recruiting.

  • @rylandrussell4068
    @rylandrussell4068 5 лет назад

    Do you do the 2 minute prior to service explanation live or as part of video announcement/countdown?

  • @saxahainerz4148
    @saxahainerz4148 Год назад

    Bathrooms!

  • @jeffsalvo5802
    @jeffsalvo5802 5 лет назад

    Nice! Also can you turn the smb7 so the wire goes down.... #techiehear

    • @prochurchtools
      @prochurchtools  5 лет назад

      Jeff Salvo Please send a tutorial on how to flip them. We have tried mightily.

    • @rubenparada866
      @rubenparada866 5 лет назад

      Usually this microphone is used suspended, that's why it's upside down. Can you unscrew the black knobs on the sides and turn the microphone around? static.sonovente.com/img/library/zoom/1/1063_1.jpg

    • @prochurchtools
      @prochurchtools  5 лет назад

      Ruben Parada you’re exactly right. Normally the stands are inverted. Ours are not. Unscrewing wouldn’t fix it either.

    • @rubenparada866
      @rubenparada866 5 лет назад

      @@prochurchtools Hi Brady, I think I might have have found a solution... God bless, Ruben (from Luxembourg)
      pubs.shure.com/guide/SM7B/en-US

    • @prochurchtools
      @prochurchtools  5 лет назад

      @@rubenparada866 We'll check it out!

  • @jeffstormer2547
    @jeffstormer2547 5 лет назад

    Medical will ask for tons of info on a first visit, but that's part of *that* culture and most folks have some experience with it. And insurance.
    And you're absolutely right, while there *are* example of asking for too much info on the front end, who wants to be associated with that feeling.

  • @Ron-and-Cobba.
    @Ron-and-Cobba. 2 года назад

    I intend to not go to church. Because I can’t stand to sit there and not able to ask questions or dwell into answers but the preacher continues to preach and every one has to stay quite and listen. I don’t like that , I would rather go to God alone! Because you never know they could be teaching false doctrines and no one will know it. This is why I avoid church let the leaders be the leaders let the pastors run There Church. I go to God alone I have no leader or pastor. Just Jesus Alone! Think about that . Church is full of wolves in sheep clothing beware!

  • @hellosurge4622
    @hellosurge4622 Год назад

    God isn’t real children.