I touched myself for 1 year and this is what happened

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  • Опубликовано: 8 сен 2024
  • I felt compelled to expose my own journey-shedding light on the profound challenges I faced with my sexual experiences. You might wonder: but why, why revealing such a private side of my life?
    My answer is simple. I am on a mission to unveil Taboos and cast off the shackles of societal norms.
    As a healer, I encounter too many people feeling uncomfortable around their sexual life. Yet isn't sex our very biology? Isn't it how we were brought to this beautiful planet?
    In a world yearning for self-acceptance, let us rediscover the power of love, reclaim our innate freedom, and rise to new heights of consciousness.
    Thank you so much for watching, Tribe. That means more than you know.♡𓃦
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Комментарии • 735

  • @martindurkin8837
    @martindurkin8837 Год назад +262

    Oh Vanille, sexual trauma is so very hard to deal with. I am glad that you found your way back to caring for yourself. It seems so many of us find self care difficult for all kinds of reasons, I'm not sure why that is.

  • @rameshcppodcasts
    @rameshcppodcasts Год назад +205

    INFJ male here. Being soft and and more emotional than other men made many ridicule my masculinity. When people talk about sex and related things, i give importance to the idea of lovemaking, a soul to soul connection through bodies, emotional understanding, having soft, caring, passionate togetherness, feelings very important. "How to hug a bubble without breaking it" and very vulnerable, soft, deep, passionate, lovemaking with genuine forehead kisses, caressing, hugs, soulful smiles.. like two beautiful flowers blossoming in peacefulness. And it should be with someone so special that there should be a soft and deep connection with.
    Frustrated with the idea of sex.
    I feel like home❤

    • @VerdantVanille
      @VerdantVanille  Год назад +35

      You’re so beautiful Ramesh. Never doubt your worth.

    • @Frau.P
      @Frau.P Год назад +32

      I need a man like you. Dont ever change yourself, you're wonderful and so ahead!

    • @rameshcppodcasts
      @rameshcppodcasts Год назад +7

      @@VerdantVanille ❤️❤️

    • @rameshcppodcasts
      @rameshcppodcasts Год назад +7

      @@Frau.P ❤️❤️

    • @timmxanja938
      @timmxanja938 Год назад +5

      I swear you just described me, I'm INFJ-T

  • @isobelbutler9421
    @isobelbutler9421 Год назад +107

    this is the first video of yours i've watched. what you are doing is incredibly impactful, not only for yourself, but for women around the world. incredible to see you embracing something so natural and perfect by design ❤❤❤

  • @user-qx1gq6zv5f
    @user-qx1gq6zv5f Год назад +84

    THANK YOU VANILLE FOR BEING SO OPEN AND TOUCHING SUCH AN IMPORTANT TOPIC THAT SO MANY OTHER PEOPLE AFRAID OF TOUCHING. YOU ARE AMAZING! KEEP ON BEING YOUR AUTHENTIC SELF♥

    • @VerdantVanille
      @VerdantVanille  Год назад +12

      I’m so happy to read this thank you so much 🤍

  • @cvedeler
    @cvedeler Год назад +93

    Our broken places is where the light shines through. Your videos are so vulnerable, honest and authentic. Your channel here is such a breath of fresh air in a world overcome with superficiality and image. You have the spirit of a true healer. Thank you!

    • @VerdantVanille
      @VerdantVanille  Год назад +8

      Wow. My heart feels lighter reading your words 🤍

  • @1lovegatti
    @1lovegatti Год назад +85

    Thank you for being so vulnerable. By sharing our process and healing story, we allow others to do the same. 💜

  • @Mybody4life
    @Mybody4life Год назад +30

    The private side of your life is like so many others, the human body is such a beautiful machine that very few people use it to anywhere near it's potential.
    People love listening to the honest side of someones' life, because they can relate. Beautiful video again, you are a gentle soul.

  • @floccinaucinihilipilifications
    @floccinaucinihilipilifications 6 месяцев назад +5

    Thank you for sharing. One of my best friends experienced sexual trauma as a boy.
    He’s over 60 now. It still rears its ugly head for him periodically.
    Peace be with you

  • @alienlifeform7490
    @alienlifeform7490 Год назад +97

    I learned, as a 55 year old, just prior to my wife leaving me, 5 months after my 11 year old severely disabled daughter passed away (she was the survivor of a twin-to-twin transfusing pregnancy), that my mother had left me in the hospital for a week without visiting me. Her doctor suggested that she not come to visit me while I was sick with a bad cough (this was 1960), so she agreed and I was known as the little boy, 18 months old, who cried while walking alone down the hallways with a blanket. I was also "partially" circumcised and, only after my mother telling me about the hospital stay, did I come to realize why I had struggled with home sickness when I might stay at my grandmother's or going away for boy scout camps and other times away from home. I got to the point in my marriage where I thought I should talk to a priest because I would get so upset with my wife or children at times and think, why am I behaving so badly. It became apparent to me that whatever trauma we experience in childhood, we try to protect ourselves, our spirits, in some way and that protection comes in the form of an emotional parasite or, even demonic presence, in severe cases. When we are triggered by some event or person, that emotional parasite/energy rises to the surface because we feel threatened, fearful of what may or may not occur.
    We are all songs, physical manifestations of the divine, and self-love is a recognition of the tune we live. When we go out of tune, it's so important to understand how to "re-tune" and this can be achieved through exercise, meditation, creativity and, especially, the sacred act of sex, whether it be alone or with one's partner. Whenever I am beginning to feel this dissonant vibration rising up now, I can say "no" to the sound and, in most cases, let it go. As Jung pointed out, we all have a shadow side, the possibility of becoming a monster expressing negative energy, so it is a tribute to most people's indominable spirit (except in the case of truly evil individuals like psychopaths) can deal with those emotional parasite/s and get on with living a loving and creative life, but this awareness, I don't think, is not something most people are aware of. To know that "I" am my own master, always, is one of the greatest healing experiences of my life and has helped me so much in dealing with life's many challenges. Thank you, my dear, for your video and personal story. I appreciate it very much. The band Tool has a song called "Pneuma" which has been inspirational to me. I hope you might listen to it and also find it therapeutic in some way. Namaste, Neil ruclips.net/video/5ClCaPmAA7s/видео.html

    • @VerdantVanille
      @VerdantVanille  Год назад +6

      You are such an inspiration. Your heart is so brave. I’m gonna listen to it right away ♥️

    • @VerdantVanille
      @VerdantVanille  Год назад +5

      That’s a really good song!! 😍

    • @alienlifeform7490
      @alienlifeform7490 Год назад +2

      @@VerdantVanille Thank you for your beautiful response, my dear. 🙏😌💚💚You are amazing!!

    • @Roadweiller
      @Roadweiller Год назад +6

      May I say to you what a powerful truth to put out here on this platform and share with us. It is something that only a individual who has a handle on thier own self control can speak about freely and to go so deep in your persoanal life experiance and past takes a enormous amount of courage , strength and faith and self belief. For what it is worth I respect your cander and ability to jist put it out there. You are wise and eloquent with the way you articulated your truth. I was captured by your words. God Bless You

    • @VerdantVanille
      @VerdantVanille  Год назад +4

      @@Roadweiller my heart is touched Eric. Thank YOU 🤍

  • @nicoleziegler6112
    @nicoleziegler6112 Год назад +28

    I have to admit I started this video with apprehension, but you handled this topic with grace and sensitivity...

    • @VerdantVanille
      @VerdantVanille  Год назад +6

      It’s true that was a touchy one! (oops)
      I am glad you found meaning to my words Nicole 🤍

  • @jricrianne
    @jricrianne Месяц назад +2

    Your honesty is so refreshing.

  • @hoverpal
    @hoverpal Год назад +10

    I am amazed by your straight forward openess to deal with your scars and sharing your experiences with all of us. Thank you.

  • @frankmosses9121
    @frankmosses9121 Год назад +11

    Tis better late than never, I'm glad you discovered yourself. Perhaps, if you are fortunate enough you will find a man to help you complete your transformation. Best of luck to you enjoy every moment as none of us knows how many more moments we have. I'm old enough to be your father, so understand I might know a little something about that which I write, enjoy every second and treasure the new memories for they are the only thing that can't be taken and can help balance out the unfortunate ones. Remember to smile, especially in the face of pain.

  • @betealmeida2374
    @betealmeida2374 Год назад +8

    Dear Vanille, thank you to break barriers and bring the real light. This message was truly amazing and important. Thank you always ❤️❤️

  • @Leto85
    @Leto85 Месяц назад +2

    What an incredible brave and intimate video. Thank you for creating this.
    'Your scars, they tell a story of resilience and growth. Make them your masterpiece.' I really love this quote from you.

    • @VerdantVanille
      @VerdantVanille  Месяц назад +1

      I smile. ♥️

    • @Leto85
      @Leto85 Месяц назад

      @@VerdantVanille I'm glad to read that. :)

  • @foggyfields9378
    @foggyfields9378 Год назад +23

    You are truly amazing. The few sentences at the end about our scars gave me chills. I rewound and listened to these sentences again and...instant chills again. What you said there is beyond powerful. It brings tears to my eyes. Thank you. I wish you all the best ❤

    • @VerdantVanille
      @VerdantVanille  Год назад +2

      That means more than you know, fellow fog lover 🤍

  • @MegaFunkified
    @MegaFunkified Год назад +7

    I once again am in tears after finding your channel today. It is synchronistic because I was just texting a friend about my past incest repressed memories and working on healing them. Then I saw this video come up on my feed!!
    Thank you so much for risking yourself by expressing your truth! It helps me tremendously! 💖🙏💖

  • @deadreckoning6288
    @deadreckoning6288 Год назад +9

    I dont consider myself abused in childhood but I was neglected and wasn't given those important lessons regarding sex and relationships. As a result all my intimate relationships have suffered and at 58 I'm resigned to being alone.

  • @coachdebby564
    @coachdebby564 Год назад +9

    You are a true poet. You deliver such kind and vulnerable healings for us all.

  • @KarlHeinrichFreimut
    @KarlHeinrichFreimut Месяц назад +1

    Thank you for showing up. Much love.

  • @johnatkinson3350
    @johnatkinson3350 Год назад +18

    It is quite lifting to see a smile on your face. Carry on being brave on your journey to loving yourself.

  • @garrettsmith8286
    @garrettsmith8286 Год назад +12

    I'm glad you found comfort in healing yourself and sharing your experience. When we openly discuss our trauma it begins to break down not only your walls but those that need to hear it. Much Love from G. Always beautiful in so many ways!

  • @timhmetal3499
    @timhmetal3499 Год назад +39

    Having been molested as a child, some scars never heal. I pray for the day where we can erase memories.

    • @theNZmatt
      @theNZmatt Год назад +4

      let go and let live

    • @Tabetha.
      @Tabetha. Год назад +2

      rooting for you.

    • @mesCheerios
      @mesCheerios Год назад +3

      i know how u feel, trying to reprogram my brain. sending u my hopes also.

  • @VerdantVanille
    @VerdantVanille  Год назад +120

    A title and thumbnail are just one page, not the whole story 🤍

    • @miladne1092
      @miladne1092 Год назад +6

      Courage❤

    • @ram7776e
      @ram7776e Год назад

      Sad 😂❤

    • @markkeating1804
      @markkeating1804 Год назад +3

      ☺️ thank you from a 50 year old deeply moved by your words and courage to share.. You are love, Love..thank you so very much..

    • @bloodynorahvan2203
      @bloodynorahvan2203 Год назад +7

      🧡 Your eyes shine so brightly 🧡

    • @JohnSaxon-vw5vi
      @JohnSaxon-vw5vi Год назад +3

      Thank you for your honesty and sharing this with us your a inspiration to many people please stay safe and healthy and keep up your amazing work love your Aussie family friend John ❤❤❤

  • @glorirose9525
    @glorirose9525 Год назад +10

    Love the pauses and the nature we get, really calms me down and puts me back into my femininity

  • @irenehamoy3684
    @irenehamoy3684 5 месяцев назад +1

    your scars tell a story of resilience and growth. beautiful

  • @MrGaryCampanella
    @MrGaryCampanella Год назад +7

    Vanille, I am so sorry for your experiences when you were young. I have friends who had similar horrible experiences and it took them time and self-love for them to heal. You are right, both personal experiences and societal conditioning can have such a negative effect on us for something pleasurable and natural that is part of our physical body. The guilt and revulsion for self-love is common in my opinion. Thank you for, as you say, "dragging it into the light." I suspect that most of us can relate to what you are saying. I wish full healing to all.

    • @VerdantVanille
      @VerdantVanille  Год назад +1

      Gary. Thank you. You are needed in this world 🤍

  • @gregorymadden5888
    @gregorymadden5888 Год назад +8

    It takes courage to be this vulnerable and open. Through sharing and making the darkness visible you shine the light of self love and acceptance for the world to see and experience. What a radiant source of inspiration you are Vanille. This is healing... 💟

  • @PeppermintPatties
    @PeppermintPatties 5 месяцев назад +1

    Thank you for helping to heal the mother line.
    Your self-inquiry heals the past, and the present, and the future.
    Bless you 🙏🫶❤️

  • @TarN-Nz
    @TarN-Nz Год назад +2

    Vanille, My name is Tania, I'm from a small Town called Opotiki in New Zealand. I just found your channel 1 hour ago, and this beautiful, video, had me in tears, but healing/empowering happy ones. Im binge watching all your videos now. I really resonate, with everything you say. I too have no friends, at present my dog is my best friend. I too have struggled, with how to feel about money, and my self talk, so I have learnt so much from you already. And you look much younger then I (I'm 42 shhh). Listening too you is like hearing my soul, for the first time. Thankyou. You are brave, beautiful, and I love your outlook on life, humans, animals, and selfcare. I admire, how, you live, and you have inspired me, to make more, food from scratch. Watching the food you make, I'm so amazed, at how yummy it looks, healthy, and you make it look effortless. Anyway, this wasn't meant to be long. I just wanted to say, Thankuou, for you channel, and all the hard, work you put into it.
    I appreciate you, And if you ever need, another, friend, I put up my hand. Namaste 💜🌅

    • @VerdantVanille
      @VerdantVanille  Год назад +2

      Your message has reached a deep layer of my heart. You’re a real light Tania. Thank you for shining so bright ♥️

  • @democratictotalitariansoci1462
    @democratictotalitariansoci1462 Год назад +2

    when intimacy is approached slowly, like for hour or two, then climax doesn't lead to bad mood.

  • @thematsc
    @thematsc Год назад +4

    Verdant, to me you are one of the very few truly unique voices on RUclips.
    I said it before, I’m almost afraid to watch your new videos and sometimes I don’t dare.
    You are so honest and share so much in such a beautiful way. I like to think that if you share, and use beauty as one of the tools to communicate, you have the possibility to share on a much deeper level.
    I think this is what you do, share with beauty, and it affects me deeply.
    Love

    • @VerdantVanille
      @VerdantVanille  Год назад +4

      I’m so happy to read this, thank you so much for your honesty and kindness 🤍

  • @tomsilver8241
    @tomsilver8241 Год назад +16

    You are such a sweet and sensitive girl.

  • @kseniyasbooknook4172
    @kseniyasbooknook4172 Год назад +35

    Vanille, thank you so much for sharing so vulnerably. This topic needs to be addressed more often. Growing up in a family where the parents where Soviet-raised and talking about anything sexual was taboo, I ended up trapped in a very abusive relationship for a long time. It took me years to learn to love my body again and self-pleasuring was an important part of that. You are radiant and beautiful now and have nothing to be ashamed of. Blessings

  • @jamesjones8552
    @jamesjones8552 Год назад +6

    Thanks for being open and honest. My trauma experiences happened at age 13 with boyscouts. My brain hide it until age 27. I finished college and moved to Orlando FL at age 25. Took me some time to find a Good job at age 27. This freed me to buy my first home. I felt like an adult when I felt broken. Then the memory came back and it caused my life to shatter. I started to study personal growth, success principles plus metaphysic ideas. The study of spiritual, energy healing opened up many paths. I began a 5 year path to heal. I had to use emotional releasement therapy like Silva mind control and more. Later, I read that loving your body, mind, and soul will free you. So one book by Sonya Ray?? About love talked about starting a nude lifestyle will help to heal and accept. So it started in the bed, then bedroom and expanded to house then found safe resorts. I started to feel free while dealing with fear, shame and guilt. Today at 60. I feel much better but the latest legal battle in the USA against the boyscouts, churches plus opened the wound. I pray that real change to stop abuse will help me let go. I'm taking class with Joe dispenza's now to continue the healing process and open up true purpose, and abundant manifesting. Peace to you. Find ways to ground yourself, laugh, and experience your true calling. Much 💕

  • @geraldbly4903
    @geraldbly4903 Год назад +4

    What a powerful message about such an important subject that many of us find difficult to talk about. You are very brave for sharing your innermost thoughts and feelings with the world. May you find peace and healing from this. Thank you.

  • @normapadro420
    @normapadro420 Год назад +3

    I have been taking care of myself since I was 9 years old. I never felt ashamed of doing so. I tried to see if I could stop now that I'm older, but even then I felt pain in that area so touching, and the end release brought on relief. I also feel connected to my body, and spirit as well. Enjoy your day.

  • @olgaplickova9519
    @olgaplickova9519 Год назад +3

    Dear Vanille, your honesty and openess is so FREEING! Thank you for listening to the call to unveil yet another tabu… I am sure you know the book The body keeps the score by Van Kolk - he writes about how memory loss is one of the symptoms of trauma… and as Leonard Cohen sung: The crack is where the light enters… Take care, you are a blessing ❤

    • @VerdantVanille
      @VerdantVanille  Год назад +1

      I did read this book and it brought many answers to my blurry past. YOU are a blessing to this world, bright one. Keep shining. 🤍✨

  • @bronwynlandis
    @bronwynlandis Год назад +2

    Wow. This is an absolutely incredible video. The raw openness, the authenticity, the beautiful scenery… You truly are the Healer, dear soul!!! This will shift the vibration of so many on the planet. That could shift the planet!! 🍀🍀🍀

  • @AtHomeWithJenn
    @AtHomeWithJenn Год назад +12

    A beautiful video! An important message. Facing and healing our trauma so we continue our journey in a healthy and fulfilling life.
    Love, blessings, peace, and prosperity to you 😊❤

  • @xoannguyen246
    @xoannguyen246 Год назад +4

    One of the most vulnerable and authentic people I know that are existing. Thank you for keeping your honesty through every single video. I mean, I can't even be 100% honest to myself sometimes, you are so wise and brave!

    • @VerdantVanille
      @VerdantVanille  Год назад +1

      I’m so happy to read this thank you so much Xoan 🤍

  • @mariememe3652
    @mariememe3652 Год назад +2

    Out of vulnerability you found your strength🙏out of the shame you found your inner beauty 💕 how simplicity is the key to freeing yourself.thank you for sharing and being vulnerable to help others free themselves ❤️🙏

  • @jameshotchkiss9957
    @jameshotchkiss9957 Месяц назад

    Vanille, your words spoke straight to my soul at the end of this video. You have a poet's way with speaking to the heart of a sometimes messy subject. Trauma has touched too many in this world and to be able to come out on the other side with as much care and love for yourself is what I want for all who have experienced trauma - including myself! I hope you know the vastness of your soul and how much you have touched other souls! Your final sentence," Your scars, they tell a story of resilience and growth! Make them your masterpiece!" has caused a paradigm shift for me! I hold space for your continued connection to this community you have created, but mostly I hold space for your well-being!

    • @VerdantVanille
      @VerdantVanille  Месяц назад

      Goosebumps here. James, may you know how special and powerful and beautiful your soul is. Never forget it ♥️

    • @jameshotchkiss9957
      @jameshotchkiss9957 Месяц назад

      @@VerdantVanille Thank You! I will remember!

  • @sophiesoulsister2222
    @sophiesoulsister2222 Год назад +6

    Thank you thank you thank you! We all have so many scars and we share the same scars. I appreciate each and everyone of your videos but this one touched my soul more than any other. Again, thank you. Love you from the bottom of my scarred ♥

  • @eduardogallardo7429
    @eduardogallardo7429 10 месяцев назад +1

    You are brave in sharing, it is part of healing, the most important thing is that you feel free and healthy.

  • @tamzenkarma
    @tamzenkarma Год назад +4

    Hello again beautiful warrior sister xxx
    Always a pleasure to see you and connect.
    I stayed celibate for 6 yrs, for all the reasons you talked about in the video.
    I also come from a childhood of sexual abuse from the age of 2/3, my uncle, as my mother checked out, and ignored it...
    It's painful work, though so worth it.. Self love is the only journey...
    You amaze me, you are so raw, authentic, intelligent and beautiful.
    Bravo me lady xxxx
    Loving you from Paonia Colorado.. Always welcome with me if you visit xxxx

  • @loopsphere6410
    @loopsphere6410 4 месяца назад +1

    Thank You so much for sharing so bravely your profound healing, i passed through a same path, so I can feel I’m not alone in this journey ✨✨✨✨

  • @etherealpriestesstarot5595
    @etherealpriestesstarot5595 Год назад +1

    Thank you for making the video, I venture this journey of yours in my solitude private way. Now my daughter instinctually embarking the journey of becoming a women. You reminded me to make the journey an empowering one rather than shame, guilty and fear. Thank you and namaste

  • @dutchowen525
    @dutchowen525 Год назад +5

    Beautiful honesty. Thank you so much. I'm so glad I found your images and words.

  • @user-ro7rk7wh6i
    @user-ro7rk7wh6i Год назад +4

    thank you. i have always felt so different. so vulnrable, so confused. i felt as if my kindness, my innocence and my deep craving for peace made me a victim of being bullied and taken advantage of. it has. ive been left with so much trauma and the healing journey hasnt been easy. i believe im sensitive to energy...i feel everything. and i have been struggling with sexuality and the feelings of it being bad. im so glad i came across your channel. you feel like a like-minded soul ❤

  • @joanae8189
    @joanae8189 Год назад +7

    Vulnerability is a precious virtue; thank you for showing it to us 💖.

  • @Audisebas21
    @Audisebas21 Год назад +4

    I absolutely loved your message. To you and all the wonderful women out there who have had sexual trauma I hope you guys get rid of all anxiety and I pray that everything gets better. Remember our thoughts become our reality. Take care ❤🙌🏻

  • @josephgf9451
    @josephgf9451 7 месяцев назад +1

    I had such issues as a teen. Feels good that I was not the only one with such struggles. BTW, thank you for not making a graphic video. I love the clothing. They are incredible.

  • @Solo-sailor
    @Solo-sailor Месяц назад +1

    I wish I could have a friend like you! In America, women have made it clear that they don’t need men, so now I seek what my soul years for abroad.
    Thank you for your channel, it gives me hope that there are others like you in this world, just not in the country of my birth. ❤

  • @sharmansmith8443
    @sharmansmith8443 Год назад +4

    Thank you, you are amazing. I appreciate your truth and courage to come forth. Of course as a woman, I totally relate in many ways. We are united in healing! 💕. all of us... thank you again💌💌

  • @pkeslerp
    @pkeslerp 11 месяцев назад +1

    Thank you so very much for sharing. I was a victim of CSA as a child, recovering now from CPTSD, and being transformed as you have been. Learning to love yourself is the hardest, most challenging part, but the metamorphosis is exciting to see on the other side! Blessings and love Phil

  • @michaelmcginnis4749
    @michaelmcginnis4749 Год назад +25

    I have a profound sense of empathy for you. My abuse started at 9 on into the military. Im 61 in july and I still prefer to be alone!

    • @VerdantVanille
      @VerdantVanille  Год назад +8

      You’re braver thank you think Michael ♥️

  • @kevinchampion8091
    @kevinchampion8091 Месяц назад +1

    Going down a personal honesty path myself some twenty years ago, knowing deep within there must be more to life than living for the rat race.
    Led me to meet three people at different times who have all had sexual trauma at a young age. Its so painful to be a witness too, their stories. It only reminds me as we all share this lovely planet to try and understand the energy's shared through love given and received in its many forms. And not always complimentary to our growth especially at a young age.
    Your honesty is like a genuine smile. For me, "A smile breeds a smile" which reminds us that we are in the now.

  • @thomaswhite7554
    @thomaswhite7554 Год назад +4

    Growing up and dealing with our bodies is an ongoing journey. Your quite the woman. Always enjoy your thoughts and opinions.
    🐕🐕🚴

  • @Reborn1ne
    @Reborn1ne Год назад +1

    so underrated keep going, these videos are soo peaceful and smoothing༄

  • @-Atmos1
    @-Atmos1 Год назад +3

    Knowing how to channel the energy from your Sacral Chakra into creativity to gain a higher state of consciousness .
    Kundalini is another way to channel the energy up into the Crown Chakra to reach Enlightenment " Expanded States of Being " .
    Higher Self .

  • @SurLife
    @SurLife Год назад +1

    Beautiful… As a man the woman is the greatest cosmic mystery… Thank you for sharing the universal connection….❤️

  • @skyinterest
    @skyinterest Год назад +20

    Really courageous video! Very inspiring. Our sexuality is a beautiful thing, and is an integral part of being healthy and whole. We have to unlearn all this garbage that society is teaching us, a sexually repressed society becomes a sexually deviant society. That's why most porn is so violent and sensationalized. Embrace ones sexuality, cultivate healthy thoughts and fantasies around sex, remove the violent dysfunctional porn and shame.

    • @times7171
      @times7171 11 месяцев назад

      Great comment.

  • @Malina4477
    @Malina4477 Год назад +2

    ❤❤❤ love love love this honesty. We and the world so deeply need authenticity. Thanx for the bravery of being ypu.

  • @jenniferherrera7216
    @jenniferherrera7216 Год назад +3

    Vanille, this is the first time I have ever felt the beginning of a sense of healing by watching your video. Everything that you were describing felt like you were telling my story. I have also experienced the same emotions. Today you have given me a very special gift and I thank you with all of my heart, and all of my soul for honoring the call within you to share for it has helped me tremendously🙏🏼❤️

  • @YahuconanBell5344
    @YahuconanBell5344 Год назад +3

    Good subject my Lady. Some of us just get by with the complicated events. No worries you're not alone at any point. This too shall pass with a long time coming. Ready yourself for the journey. Happy will come anyway.

  • @katiakatiakat
    @katiakatiakat Год назад +5

    This was so powerful, beautiful and important. Thank you for sharing your heart and your story. Blessings of love and deep healing to you and all who are reading this. ❤

  • @tomas5376
    @tomas5376 Год назад +4

    Gracias for sharing a part of your life that escapes so many. Sadly, those who take religion so seriously, miss out on many of the joys in life while thinking only of the afterlife.🙏🏼

  • @lenw6002
    @lenw6002 Год назад +2

    Thank you for opening up about something what is pushed to the background usually. It's part of you and you found and show a way to heal from it. It might not be for everyone but you give hope for others in finding a way whatever or however works for them to love themselves.

  • @seraphmagick
    @seraphmagick Год назад +1

    thank you so much for sharing. it's an honor to have heard part of your story. 💖💖

  • @WandererOfWorlds
    @WandererOfWorlds Год назад +40

    I don’t know how you do it, but each video I watch I feel even MORE admiration for your authenticity, and your courage in sharing yourself with all of us in such an intimate way! This was a beautiful video in every way. Just a quick thought for you: Louise Hay in her books on the body and how it reflects our scars/emotions, observed that genital herpes was ‘caused by’ (or arises because of) a collective guilt & shame around sex, and a self-loathing of our bodies. Wow. Doesn’t that just make so much sense in a world that I believe has for hundreds of years tried to take away & cheapen one of our greatest sources of personal power - our sexuality. And it doesn’t have to be just the physical side of sex and pleasure, but also passion, sensuality in all its forms, and creativity - we are creative beings at our core! Thank you Vanille for being so brave and sharing your story. I think I will be one of MANY who identifies strongly with it. 🥰❤

    • @VerdantVanille
      @VerdantVanille  Год назад +6

      This. Is definitely what I call Meaning and Beauty.
      Your words resonate in a room I didn’t know existed inside of me.
      You mentioned Louise Hay and I have just discovered, fell in love with her work a few ago. You shine brighter than you know. THANK YOU 🤍

  • @BenjyaminSaturnHaunebu777_3
    @BenjyaminSaturnHaunebu777_3 Год назад +2

    Thank you Vanille for this brave Video.

  • @MariE-go7ol
    @MariE-go7ol Год назад +6

    Your such a beautiful person inside and out. Thank you for sharing your story. So many have suffered exactly the same as you, including myself. ❤️

  • @ashleyboes6125
    @ashleyboes6125 Год назад +9

    You are so brave. Thank you for sharing.

  • @robertmulligan7677
    @robertmulligan7677 Год назад +2

    It is difficult to be honest with oneself but even more difficult to share inner feelings with others, you are a true source of healing for many that suffer with hidden trauma Be blessed knowing you are a wonderful inspiration for others healing……. Love and thank you!

  • @Malina4477
    @Malina4477 Год назад +2

    Again- so thankful that you pave the way forward for me. I can identify with all your words..🙏🌈❤

  • @ladyspellbreaker1313
    @ladyspellbreaker1313 7 месяцев назад +1

    Thank you so much for sharing your story. Giving voice to the unspoken is such a huge part of our healing ❤️‍🩹

  • @marcw3126
    @marcw3126 Год назад +2

    Dear Vanille,
    what a beautiful and extremely courageous 💪 soul you are! 🌻
    You can be so proud of yourself. I have deep respect.
    You are really shining and sending out your light to all of us. 🙏🙏🙏
    You are truly a healer.

  • @nomblej
    @nomblej Год назад +2

    You’re so brave. Thank you for honoring us with your story. Prayers to you as you continue on with your healing journey. 🩷

  • @contvin
    @contvin Год назад +3

    ❤ I wish I could cry, but I can't, today. God bless you.

  • @keithpringle1103
    @keithpringle1103 Год назад +6

    Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this personal subject for most people 🙏

  • @atticuskilby515
    @atticuskilby515 Год назад +17

    Vanille, this was an exceptional share; thank you for being so courageous. You are correct, so many people have this trauma from childhood and as a result of societal constructs. Your sharing is like a pebble in an ocean, the rippling out effect is more than you can imagine. Much love.

    • @VerdantVanille
      @VerdantVanille  Год назад +5

      I’m so happy to read this thank you so much 🤍

  • @DimensionalHorse
    @DimensionalHorse Год назад +6

    That was brilliant!! Very well said!!! You are truely an amazing person!! Love Love Love your videos!!! Thank you!!!

  • @andreflavell3453
    @andreflavell3453 Год назад +2

    Adversity builds courage and strength and humanity

  • @helenroberts1107
    @helenroberts1107 Год назад +3

    Thank you. I’ve been through a lot of trauma in the past and find it difficult. This is a beautiful video and so helpful and positive ❤️

  • @cristian_munoz
    @cristian_munoz Год назад +6

    Thanks for sharing your hard experiences, I know it's not easy.

  • @jimmyrhino6176
    @jimmyrhino6176 Год назад +1

    Thank you for sharing. You are beautiful inside and out. We appreciate you. ❤🙏

  • @ReBeLRecKLesSs
    @ReBeLRecKLesSs Год назад +3

    So proud of you sharing so vulnerable and so bravely! I think there are a lot of people who will benefit from hearing this!
    Love 💜⛈️🌈

  • @marivesselinova
    @marivesselinova Год назад +2

    Much love to you, brave girl! Thank you for this beautiful video and all of your work - it resonates so much with my soul and gives me hope and confidence that we, open and vulnerable souls, are safe. Be blessed and inspired!

  • @Freedom2Roam.
    @Freedom2Roam. Год назад +1

    Thank you Verdant, very brave of you to be so honest.
    The human body is a beautiful miracle to be enjoyed and celebrated.
    You have a strong and healthy body … yours to cherish 🙏

    • @VerdantVanille
      @VerdantVanille  Год назад +2

      I've never realised your beautiful name actually meant " famous wolf ".
      You're so special in many ways Jules. Your altruism is one of them. THANK YOU ♡

    • @Freedom2Roam.
      @Freedom2Roam. Год назад +1

      @@VerdantVanille I never knew that Verdant , thank you for that . Best book ever is ‘ Women Who Run With The Wolves’ .
      Thank you you’re very kind . 🙏🌸

  • @jamiecurran3544
    @jamiecurran3544 Год назад +2

    We all have traumas n what you did by sharing is not only courageous but also does help to ease the burden for oneself n helps us all do the same, yet again we share so many similarities with stuff that has affected our lives, life is our learning n healing process now, takecare princess sending love n light in your healing journey!😊💜✌️

  • @konstantinavalentina3850
    @konstantinavalentina3850 Год назад +8

    I think you are amazing and wonderful creature. I think every video you make is poetry, and I think it's all poetry because you are an expression of the universe's poetry in human form.
    I think you are more natural than most all of us, yet, also unnatural, strange, foreign, alien, and magical in all the best ways.
    I intend this all as compliments to you, and I think you are one of the best of us.
    The olympic athletes can do their sport, and the intellectuals can argue and debate about the very fabric of the universe, and that's wonderful in its own way, but, your star shines more REAL, and grounded, nestled in the green and woody smells of the forest, diffuse with the morning mists, with soil between its toes.
    I think you are part myth you are both so real, but magical too.
    Thank you for being what most of us can't. Thank you for living in a time where we can see your example so that we may at least dream and imagine a life so realized, so aware, so part of this Earth as yours.
    Thank you for you.

    • @VerdantVanille
      @VerdantVanille  Год назад +2

      This is beyond beautiful. My heart is rejoicing right now. Please never doubt your ability to grow into who you want to be. Who you know you are deep deep down. It’s an every day battle and I feel very much you have the required strength to fight 🤍✨
      Thank you. So much.

  • @norm5785
    @norm5785 Год назад +4

    Thank you for sharing. Stay strong along your journey. Everyone stay warm safe, happy and healthy. From Henrico County Virginia

  • @tomraw4893
    @tomraw4893 Год назад +2

    Thank you Vanille, for sharing your thoughts. Take care

  • @TheMennomilist
    @TheMennomilist Год назад +7

    Another gorgeous video.
    I am glad that despite the lifestyle you once lived and the people you once hung around with, you learned a lot of valuable and good lessons from the experiences. A lot of people do shut off parts of their thoughts when it comes to bad experiences.
    It is a tough subject matter; that of sexual abuse or even the talk of sex, but I do think that there is a lot of shame and guilt that goes on through various upbringings.
    I've always been good at understanding how that area of my body works, as I did explore very early on. I have also been in a healthy relationship with the only man I have been with sexually (been in a relationship 22 years, since I was 16 years old, and married 19 years next month to him), who really loves to please me rather than just wanting pleasure. I think that has helped me a lot. My upbringing was very strict religious and it made me feel like I was a horrible person for being okay with exploring feeling good sexually. I have had many conversations with my mom about how I was raised, in order to explain to her how it made me feel to be raised that way, but to also understand where she was coming from to teach me how she did (she had sexual trauma and also was brought up in a household with parents where her father prostituted her mother, so it gave her a bad idea of sex, on top of unhealthy relationships: including the 52 years of marriage she has had to my father, who cheated on her and neglected her sexually for most of her marriage - and she enjoys the feeling of sex, and I don't know why my dad would not want to embrace that factor of his wife). I think people need to communicate more about this topic.
    I am friends with married women who have never even had an orgasm ever, and I can't imagine why their husbands wouldn't want to please their wives at all. I find that to be very heartbreaking.
    I do think it is important to know the roots of one's own lineage when it comes to sex, because I think some of those things can be carried down for generations. I know a lot about my parents' line in those ways and it actually helped me to be in the spot I am today in having a good relationship with both my husband, and my own body: that lovely connection!
    I am so glad that you have found healing and continue to heal from the experiences you have had in life. May you continue to grow and love yourself more each day.

    • @VerdantVanille
      @VerdantVanille  Год назад +1

      Wow. You have important things to share with the world Justice. Thank you for shining a light where most people don’t want to look 🤍✨

  • @moonafarms1621
    @moonafarms1621 Год назад +6

    Wow... thank you for sharing this, and taking the time to put together such vulnerable and relatable thoughts with your experiences.

  • @Sandhya_NagendraRao
    @Sandhya_NagendraRao Месяц назад +1

    Dropping tears 😭 your video is my Home now ❤❤❤

  • @penny6254
    @penny6254 Год назад +2

    Thank you for your openness and all your beautiful Videos, Vanille! Sending you love ❤️

  • @malc121
    @malc121 Год назад +2

    Thank you for sharing your vulnerability a very courageous thing to talk about ,take care and stay safe ❤️🙏🏻❤️

  • @rawpetite7591
    @rawpetite7591 Год назад +2

    Thank you for being vulnerable ❤