@@sarahdulaney6610 I've spent at least 1,000 hours listening to Michael Singer (and quite a few listening to Alain) and often reflect that Alain's talks on melancholy would not find a home in Mickey's teachings with its emphasis on the removal of samskaras leading to "ever-new joy" per Yogananda
It scares me a little how great I think Alain de Botton is. Every sentence so true, so wise, so warm-hearted. Plus this mega-sympathetic voice, a stunningly charming way of talking, thinking and motivating.
The question at minute 1:05:20 is what Gabor Maté says about trauma as not what happens to you; it is what happens inside you as a result of what happens to you. It's great to hear both Alain and Gabor share the same perspective.
@@ggrthemostgodless8713 I believe he would agree as I believe Both of them are talking about the same thing BUT From slightly different angle ( PLEASE BEAR WITH ME )
Great to have you back Alain. Haven't seen you for ages man. Your work has helped me in so much in past 10 years. I have most of your books and I religiously go through all of your RUclips videos. Hails from Tasmania, Australia 🇦🇺
But parents can forget this and don’t understand how every single thing is new to them. So a device to distract them isn’t needed. Especially sad when I see an 8 month old being given a mobile to stare at. People have lost their common sense.
Oh God! That's also my goal I'm also crazy about Alain and how wisdom packed every single sentence is coming from him Being a teen and dependant yet,I can't but I swear I'm gonna get every single book this man has ever written Gifted his book 'TSOL- an emotion education ' to my ldr bf And I'm so jealous he has it when I can't
No-one can fall asleep in his talks. One of the most engaging and enthusiastic presenters out there. The perfect university lecturer for THAT one hard subject...(there's always one). 11/10.
Thank you Alain, for introducing a bit of clarity into the never-ending maze of human behavior. This valuable insight is a gift of the highest order; for the benefit of humanity. Your work is appreciated. As a new father, I can't express how much I needed to hear the parts about parenting.
You have healed certain aspects of myself during the pandemic period , you speak to my fragile, frightened, inadecuate , uncomfortable child inside me, thank you always for that ❤
I read the The School of Life - An Emotional Education. It is one of the most "sane" books I have so far read! Brilliant stuff. I am definitely getting the new book!
Omg during this year I was often writing Alain s name in hopes to find something new from him. Was wondering why weren’t any new interviews with him. Now he w back and I wanna se more live content with him. I love his good sarcasm in narration always
Amazing timing. I just got home from an amazing concert and feel depleted, and this was perfect to listen to to come down to earth and readjust from the dopamine frenzy
As someone whose just hit 40 along with some relationship road blocks and a period of forced introspection - its very comforting to listen to the School of Life and Alain's eloquent take on how we are all, invariably, going through a common experience. Thank you
Thank you for the comment about reliving our parents' problems and trying to make the better world so that our own children will not have to suffer the same guilt and monitoring that we have.
I love you so much Alain, thank you for being this teacher of emotional intelligence that has helped me countless times go though hardship and sorrow to better understand myself and fathom many harsh truths about myself and life itself. 😍
As a Psychotherapist I love & laughed at your discussion of the child and what it needs and how it is still with us when we are adults. Thank you so much. I have shared this video with several of my patients, as it condenses many aspects that one works on in therapy in a non shaming way.
Wow I love the breadth of topics and how smoothly ADB makes it appear with wisdom and humour. He has a unique way to offer deep wisdoms with hope and enthusiasm
I've been listening to the school of life for quite a few years and although it might seem unbelievable I find that every subject and every suggestion to be extraordinarily true and the best advice that can be given. I thank you and I whole heartedly believe u help so many people and should keep opening the eyes and minds of people...
what a joy to see alain again! and what a consolation it always is to listen to your mind and soul. it feels like a talk by the kind teacher we all deserve. the witty part about you writing the book for your parents made me laugh, then i thought about how true it really was: maybe we all do think about rescuing our parents 😆 i have followed the school of life ever since i was 15 in 2015, and what immense growth the team has seen. i now have several of your books and they are all hardcovers because i always thought i could pass it on to my children or loved ones in the future, and they will find it as impactful as i did. and someday i will know i am right.
Thank you Alain. SOL has changed my life all for the better and started me to read Aristotle again, watch horror movies (😅😅catharsis) , “hang out” with Alan Watts, watch Huberman Lab, say sorry and come clean to myself. Now healthier mentally, physically and emotionally. Hey hey… when do you plan to do another SOL seminar in NYC? I send you and your wonderful team sparkling and blissful thoughts
The Government is not a nanny. Even worse, it just reflects society as a whole. The journey that Alain talks about is an individual journey in that one examines their own life to see how much their thoughts and emotions keep them in a balanced or unbalanced state...and how to achieve equanimity. Spirituality, especially Eastern thought, has long provided a lot of the answers for anyone who examines their life and wants to improve it.
Thank you Alain for all your work, I discovered it by accident but it echos everything I hold dear and worthwhile. I wish you and the school of life all the best.
Unfortunately on the part about parenting, whoever intelligent enough to listen to you as parents don't need much guidance, the one who need help won't seek help.
@pedrogorilla483 What you're asking me is irrelevant. I read the quote I wrote somewhere and it's stuck inside my head and now i couldn't find who said it. I believe this quote is soothing so we can forgive our parents and move on because regardless of whoever our parents were, parents always ruin their children 😪...
Perhaps another stage of awareness is that instead of judgement, each one of us has a daily duty to pass on that which we have learned. Reach out across perceived social boundaries and pass on that which is useful - it's at the root of community, teaching and inclusivity - of course this is more likely to succeed with kindness, understanding and compassion. Warm regards...
Such a genius! I loved every minute of it. The only thing I felt was underwhelming was the pace of the lecture. Such poignant and deep insights conveyed at a pace that my mind found it hard to absorb or imbibe within my being. I think usually the ideas, especially ones with such depth should with sandwiched with moments of pause or some simply some breathes. Apart from this one observation, it really is a treasure. Thank you so much for sharing it:)
I need more lecture kind of, like this. Really. I'm happy to be student of life as long as Alain de Botton is the teacher. ❤❤❤ I lovee the shorts animated videos too. It just I need the very very long videos.❤❤
Incredible talk, this was so helpful. There are many times I heard an insight in the talk and felt, thinking about it more deeply.. that’s so true.. how could he have known that? Everyone should listen to this. If I could have asked a question though, I would wonder, what about the trauma that is inflicted not from parents but teachers and other children during childhood?
Thank you Alain de Button. You always bring so much relief and hope to my anxious will to grow and be mature. I'm still working on being nicer to myself ❤
Hilariously true words of wisdom :) love how you made it light and yet close at heart. I love how you say having a little insanity is a part of sanity.
His talk here is well thought, he studied these patterns of parent-child relationship and he is offering solutions by describing exactly these patterns. He is genius and clearly wants people to understand their journeys to live an optimal life.
Lovely. Your framework of thinking is essential in classroom discussions. Have used it. The result is amazing...students engaging. Glad you're back. All the best.🎉
Such a brilliant talk, intricate ideas presented in an intelligent yet accessible way. I love the subtle humour threaded through each serious message. It's particularly strong on why it's important to recognize the deep influence of childhood and how we carry our childhood self within us. Should be compulsory viewing for couples entering marriage and on therapy courses! 👏👏
Love the crispness with which Alain conveys such powerful nuggets of wisdom and insight, and talking about thing in the raw (and often not 'politically correct') way that they are. Would love to have an in-person chat with him someday
I owe much of my personal growth to Alain and the School of Life. It has helped me immensely to cope with current and past life. It's now almost a shame and a curse as I observe how resistant my own loved ones and acquaintances are to such incredible revelations. What is one to do?
Hello to all, thank you so much for your work on this channel. A question to Alan, please consider writing a book for parents to read for their children. Some little stories, affirmations, thoughts about life (age appropriate) that would help parents tell the stories in the righter way. That we are all flawed, about happiness and our strangeness. Perhaps a book before bed. Thank you for considering. We love reading to our child and many books about feelings helped me so much realize that I did not know how to deal with certain emotions. We value so much books, and I think your way of telling things are so deep and clear at the same time would be such an advantage to any parent. Thank you again and all the best
Sadly enough, parents won't listen to anybody who dares to challenge them and their bearing toward their own children. Those who do they're already in the business of bettering themselves, not needing much added guidance after all. Very uplifting speech Alain as it is often the case when you are involved; It won't be enough anyways :(
Any addition to the betterment of society is welcome. Your comment though well-meaning I'm sure, is a subtraction, as there's nothing productive about pointing out that something positive is not enough to fix everything. No one thing is enough to fix everything but that fact should never deter one from contributing constructively. Take care.
Yes I feel this perspective very much. The comment on "Why aren't you in tune with your sadness?" really resonates. Recently I got really into wargamming and starting playing some WWII wargames with some of the brightest, crafty fellas I've ever met. These games takes months to learn the rules and usually a single game can last several days (10+hours). As we played more and more and I started to ask more questions about the actual war and reflecting on it with today's events, did our intimacy begin to drift apart. I found myself very much in a strange place whereby my only friends only wanted to battle in the game and not too much else. I found that I got deeply into the game because of how much I supressed my anger when I was very young; or rather was conditioned not to feel so as a young boy; pretty much the same either way. Didn't matter how much I replayed Operation Barbarossa (50x), conquered France or counter assaulted at Moscow that feeling of a melting furnance within still remained. Eventually with enough good 'luck' and guidance and some fresh air does one realize that even if those around us are being closed off chances are theyre simply applying those defensive techniques learned at a young age as you speak of; so in a real sense it aint personal. Id be a fool to not admit the gallons of grief Ive had to sweat off really since 2020 lockdown. That said, in this growth journey its amazing how many pals Ive had to say goodbye too (too many), their emotions have been just as painful as my own, dont ask me how i know. May they find their way for that inner love and reconnect with their childhood selves, especially during these strange times...with enough 'luck' / probability they may read this message someday when they're ready to hear these groundbreaking answers, youve explained it so well what I was unable to articulate! Journey aint over yet, still got some hidden emotions deep down in this here subconscious (i.e. uncomfortable in the present as we speak). Time to sweat some more (drug fee of course), lets go bring it!! Dont need no caffine or nothing, lets go!
Thank you for sharing such any amazing honest insight and reflections. Alain is beyond insightful and able to distill the complex into articulate analogies and explanations. Good fortune on your continued learning and healing. The fascinating, glorious, school of life.
Alain de Botton is angelic 😇 I now realize I have felt I must always agree... and entertain... and he reminded me that my mother used to tell me, when I was about 16, that my intuition was very good.
21:00 yet it's not the only effect such parents might create in their kids, so they'll either have kids that will wish for celebrity or depressed children, well , adults. bad parents don't always create future famous, empty minded , selfish children but depressed and isolated children too
As many as his talks are, this one is just as interesting and marvelous! There are even ones that I talk about on my channel like those on TED and Google. They are pretty good as well. Such a great speaker with a great mind!
My therapists is excellent and I prayed about it, I picked her just by her name because I thought it was going to be a good match. I am so thankful for her.
At 32 minutes, you say it would be unbearable for a child to think their parents were “bad” or screwed up in some way. And I disagree. My father had trauma from being a POW in WW2, and my mother was just plain nuts (paranoid-schizophrenia aka) and I knew for certain by age 5 or 6 that they were unreliable people and I needed to depend on my own decisions to survive, although I never felt my life was at stake, just surrounded by these two incompetent people. Today, age 80, I still find being alone to be delightful, due mainly to the Faith we’re not supposed to reveal here, so I’ll just shut up and thank you for a most enjoyable and enlightening talk.
Hi Alan, from Chile I want to thank you your work and the one that does all the group of The School of life. I've been following you since you began in youtube and I always expect the video of the week 🥰. Also, I have followed your suggestions for years and I want to tell you I'm grateful for the universe to have lived in the same period you are alive doing all this amazing stuff. I'll get the book no matter what!
The messenger transcends his message…not that most of it resonates with me very much but I gotta be honest I would listen to ADB talk just about almost anything 🙃. I would love to see TSOL go deeper on matters like everyday dissociation, amnesia, emptiness you know …and what separates normal and pathology in our lives….
I was so excited to visit London last month thinking I could visit SoL's store or location and bump into Alain if lucky, but learned it's closed.... A bit sad but was able to buy SoL books elsewhere as a souvenir of the trip.
Where was this recorded? I would love to see Alain live, i've been wanting it for years. I live near Amsterdam, the SoL is up and running here, might he visit sometime? Anytime?
Thank you, dear team from the School of Life! I've really missed your talks. It was also a beautiful summary of some older videos which have helped me like the one on listening. I know, you are very self-aware of generalizing sometimes. Anyway, one point I'd like to criticize is the statement: "We have all suffered trauma in childhood" (12:32). In my opinion, trauma in childhood consists of severe incidents like child abuse, child neglection or other events which have a tremendous effect on future life. To say everyone has suffered trauma is relativizing the experiences of affected individuals. I also find some of this relativizing pattern in the answer given in minute 51. A chemical imbalance in the brain might be the cause of a psychological disorder. Even though it is well meant, the hint 'an orange juice could help' might deprive someone of getting the profesional help they need. For example, the cause might be a Vitamine B12 deficieny or a lack of iron in the body. Anyway, I agree with the general statement that overintellectualizing ones bad moods is problematic. I wish you a nice evening. And thank you for your kindness and empathy.
Trauma is not a painful event that happened to us, it is that we didn't have anyone to "talk to"/ process the painful event. So a child who was reprimanded for wanting a cookie before supper could be traumatized if the parent did not apologize for shouting or did not reassure the child after. Hopefully children have a big enough Village to find the right teacher/ nanny/ grandparent/ etc. to sustain their sense of feeling loved. @@theschooloflifetv I need to study this more, but I am sure the author of Genesis intended notion of "Sins of the Father" refer to psychological baggage, and not to thieving.
I have been following Alain de Botton. I couldn't be more grateful for him and everything I have learnned from.him. Dr. Gabor Matè also explained trauma in childhood, which is not limited abuse or injury, in his book The Myth of Normal.
All I can say is I changed my life for the better when I started listening to Alain de Botton, Esther Perel, and Drs John & Judy Gottman.
Me too! And also Tara Brach and Michael Singer
@@sarahdulaney6610 I've spent at least 1,000 hours listening to Michael Singer (and quite a few listening to Alain) and often reflect that Alain's talks on melancholy would not find a home in Mickey's teachings with its emphasis on the removal of samskaras leading to "ever-new joy" per Yogananda
Esther Perel is amazing. I’d like to add Brené Brown-she’s fabulous!
@@middleamerica3999 omg how could I miss her🙈
Don't forget Terry Real - useful stuff on relationships. Warm regards everyone!
It scares me a little how great I think Alain de Botton is. Every sentence so true, so wise, so warm-hearted. Plus this mega-sympathetic voice, a stunningly charming way of talking, thinking and motivating.
Alain is back again. Admire this gem. 👏
I am glad he is
He is the best ❤
The question at minute 1:05:20 is what Gabor Maté says about trauma as not what happens to you; it is what happens inside you as a result of what happens to you. It's great to hear both Alain and Gabor share the same perspective.
YES TOTALLY
Wonder if Alan would agree... with that comparison.??
@@ggrthemostgodless8713 I believe he would agree as I believe Both of them are talking about the same thing BUT From slightly different angle ( PLEASE BEAR WITH ME )
Gabor Mate is not a credible speaker for mental health sorry.
I'm afraid that's incorrect, Gabor is a titan in the field of mental health.@@bondi5000
Great to have you back Alain. Haven't seen you for ages man. Your work has helped me in so much in past 10 years. I have most of your books and I religiously go through all of your RUclips videos. Hails from Tasmania, Australia 🇦🇺
Just started getting into his work. Very optimistic about the journey. Nice to see a fellow Aussie in the comments 🙏 🦘
The best part of parenting is to see the world through your child’s eyes. You get to experience everything for the first time again!!
But parents can forget this and don’t understand how every single thing is new to them. So a device to distract them isn’t needed. Especially sad when I see an 8 month old being given a mobile to stare at. People have lost their common sense.
Alain’s mind is extraordinary & beneficial to the world. I own almost the entirety of The School Of Life Library both audio and text books!
Thank you so much for your support.
Oh God! That's also my goal
I'm also crazy about Alain and how wisdom packed every single sentence is coming from him
Being a teen and dependant yet,I can't but I swear I'm gonna get every single book this man has ever written
Gifted his book 'TSOL- an emotion education ' to my ldr bf
And I'm so jealous he has it when I can't
This is wonderful and so helpful, honestly just hearing someone with so much hope for us all is a gift. Thank you.
No-one can fall asleep in his talks. One of the most engaging and enthusiastic presenters out there.
The perfect university lecturer for THAT one hard subject...(there's always one).
11/10.
Thank you Alain, for introducing a bit of clarity into the never-ending maze of human behavior. This valuable insight is a gift of the highest order; for the benefit of humanity. Your work is appreciated. As a new father, I can't express how much I needed to hear the parts about parenting.
You have healed certain aspects of myself during the pandemic period , you speak to my fragile, frightened, inadecuate , uncomfortable child inside me, thank you always for that ❤
Thanks!
Alain is so preciously human. Thank you for all the work
I read the The School of Life - An Emotional Education. It is one of the most "sane" books I have so far read! Brilliant stuff. I am definitely getting the new book!
Alain will one day be known as a great thinker! He was extremely under appreciated
Pre ordered the book! You have changed my mind and mental health in so many ways! Thank you Alain!
Under 2 min mark, and I'm chuckling my head off! Thank you, Alain, for making us all feel better about ourselves ad about life!!
Omg during this year I was often writing Alain s name in hopes to find something new from him. Was wondering why weren’t any new interviews with him. Now he w back and I wanna se more live content with him.
I love his good sarcasm in narration always
What a brainy and compassionate man, thanks for another gem
Alain is the Best Educator on the school of life! Thank you for teaching us about emotional intelligence. Mental Health is so important.
Amazing timing. I just got home from an amazing concert and feel depleted, and this was perfect to listen to to come down to earth and readjust from the dopamine frenzy
As someone whose just hit 40 along with some relationship road blocks and a period of forced introspection - its very comforting to listen to the School of Life and Alain's eloquent take on how we are all, invariably, going through a common experience. Thank you
"Being able not just to live but to make time to process the act of living..."
Powerful.
Thank you for the comment about reliving our parents' problems and trying to make the better world so that our own children will not have to suffer the same guilt and monitoring that we have.
I love you so much Alain, thank you for being this teacher of emotional intelligence that has helped me countless times go though hardship and sorrow to better understand myself and fathom many harsh truths about myself and life itself. 😍
As a Psychotherapist I love & laughed at your discussion of the child and what it needs and how it is still with us when we are adults. Thank you so much. I have shared this video with several of my patients, as it condenses many aspects that one works on in therapy in a non shaming way.
Wow I love the breadth of topics and how smoothly ADB makes it appear with wisdom and humour. He has a unique way to offer deep wisdoms with hope and enthusiasm
Hearing I should’ve had someone focus on me when I was young was both heart wrenching and incredibly validating ❤
I've been listening to the school of life for quite a few years and although it might seem unbelievable I find that every subject and every suggestion to be extraordinarily true and the best advice that can be given. I thank you and I whole heartedly believe u help so many people and should keep opening the eyes and minds of people...
Am in awe of Alain de Botton. Great intellect, huge heart, brilliant eloquence.
what a joy to see alain again! and what a consolation it always is to listen to your mind and soul. it feels like a talk by the kind teacher we all deserve. the witty part about you writing the book for your parents made me laugh, then i thought about how true it really was: maybe we all do think about rescuing our parents 😆
i have followed the school of life ever since i was 15 in 2015, and what immense growth the team has seen. i now have several of your books and they are all hardcovers because i always thought i could pass it on to my children or loved ones in the future, and they will find it as impactful as i did. and someday i will know i am right.
I accidentally discovered Alain de Botton and am slowly discovering myself. Thank you!
Superb talk. Thanks to all the team for their efforts, to improve the human experience for all. ❤
Thank you soooooo much Alain for jogging my mind on a very meaningful memory ... I've been quite down until now ... I will share this video widely 🕊️🦋
I learn every time I listen to Alain de Botton! 😊
“Being able not just to live but to make time to process the act of living”
So many people owe you for your work. DOn't Stop!
Thank you Alain. SOL has changed my life all for the better and started me to read Aristotle again, watch horror movies (😅😅catharsis) , “hang out” with Alan Watts, watch Huberman Lab, say sorry and come clean to myself. Now healthier mentally, physically and emotionally. Hey hey… when do you plan to do another SOL seminar in NYC? I send you and your wonderful team sparkling and blissful thoughts
Alain's emphasis on the impact of childhood experiences in adult life is the reason I'll be a good enough parent.
The lady an hour in asked an absolutely brilliant question. Government is the narcissistic parent and society is the fractured traumatised child.
I’ve always thought that too. Very dysfunctional family dynamic we have with our government.
The Government is not a nanny. Even worse, it just reflects society as a whole. The journey that Alain talks about is an individual journey in that one examines their own life to see how much their thoughts and emotions keep them in a balanced or unbalanced state...and how to achieve equanimity. Spirituality, especially Eastern thought, has long provided a lot of the answers for anyone who examines their life and wants to improve it.
Thank you Alain for all your work, I discovered it by accident but it echos everything I hold dear and worthwhile. I wish you and the school of life all the best.
I absolutely love his stand-up approach about these way to serious stuff...
Unfortunately on the part about parenting, whoever intelligent enough to listen to you as parents don't need much guidance, the one who need help won't seek help.
Parents ALWAYS ruin their children.
Perhaps, but you never know how the all mighty algorithm may show them a better way.
@@husseinmohammed8654do you have children?
@pedrogorilla483
What you're asking me is irrelevant.
I read the quote I wrote somewhere and it's stuck inside my head and now i couldn't find who said it. I believe this quote is soothing so we can forgive our parents and move on because regardless of whoever our parents were, parents always ruin their children 😪...
Perhaps another stage of awareness is that instead of judgement, each one of us has a daily duty to pass on that which we have learned. Reach out across perceived social boundaries and pass on that which is useful - it's at the root of community, teaching and inclusivity - of course this is more likely to succeed with kindness, understanding and compassion. Warm regards...
I’m reading your new book Alain. You’re a helpful man. Bless you
Such a genius! I loved every minute of it. The only thing I felt was underwhelming was the pace of the lecture. Such poignant and deep insights conveyed at a pace that my mind found it hard to absorb or imbibe within my being. I think usually the ideas, especially ones with such depth should with sandwiched with moments of pause or some simply some breathes. Apart from this one observation, it really is a treasure. Thank you so much for sharing it:)
You can slow down the video, you can find that in settings on the bottom right, that is what I sometimes do ...
Process faster lol
I need more lecture kind of, like this. Really. I'm happy to be student of life as long as Alain de Botton is the teacher. ❤❤❤ I lovee the shorts animated videos too. It just I need the very very long videos.❤❤
So wonderful to see for the first time the face that belongs to such a soothing and iconic narrative voice!
Yaaay ! new book by Alain , thank you for making the world a better place.
Incredible talk, this was so helpful. There are many times I heard an insight in the talk and felt, thinking about it more deeply.. that’s so true.. how could he have known that? Everyone should listen to this. If I could have asked a question though, I would wonder, what about the trauma that is inflicted not from parents but teachers and other children during childhood?
Thank you Alain de Button. You always bring so much relief and hope to my anxious will to grow and be mature. I'm still working on being nicer to myself ❤
How can he deal in such hard facts & good laughs in the same presentation?!? Cheers Dear Sir, that's mad skillz!
Großartig - hier wird sehr deutlich, wie viel musikalisches Können in dem Projekt steckt!
Thank you school of life, Thank you Alain ❤️😭
Hilariously true words of wisdom :) love how you made it light and yet close at heart. I love how you say having a little insanity is a part of sanity.
His talk here is well thought, he studied these patterns of parent-child relationship and he is offering solutions by describing exactly these patterns. He is genius and clearly wants people to understand their journeys to live an optimal life.
Eloquently, intelligently and humorously delivered! 👏
Fantastic to see Alain again ! Have always been impressed and inspired by you. Thank you
Lovely. Your framework of thinking is essential in classroom discussions. Have used it. The result is amazing...students engaging. Glad you're back. All the best.🎉
Thank you for all you do. It’s of great consolation to me. I look forward to reading your book.
Book pre-ordered already 😊 SoL work is so important, Im happy to see you continue growing and reaching more and more people
Yay! Thank you!
Such a brilliant talk, intricate ideas presented in an intelligent yet accessible way. I love the subtle humour threaded through each serious message. It's particularly strong on why it's important to recognize the deep influence of childhood and how we carry our childhood self within us. Should be compulsory viewing for couples entering marriage and on therapy courses! 👏👏
Extremely insightful and helpful. A wonderful motivation towards introspection and healing. Thank you very much !
As a therapist this is really good and a clear description of being human
As an astronaut i can second this!
Alain!!! So glad to see u again!
This is an outstanding talk. Thank you ❤
It was great to see Alain up on stage again. Wish we could have been there! 🎉
How nice to hear .. Alan, congratulations on your new book. Thank you for this I love being here.
Love this!! Yes! We are all weird in our way!! Thank you for shareing your thinking!
The nice thing about Alain is that when I'm reading or listening to him I can stop (over-)thinking. Thank you, Alain
Love the crispness with which Alain conveys such powerful nuggets of wisdom and insight, and talking about thing in the raw (and often not 'politically correct') way that they are. Would love to have an in-person chat with him someday
Thank you so much for sharing your invaluable insights! You provide wonderful consolation and support with emotional issues.
The world is sitting on this man. So much plainly spoken wisdom.
I owe much of my personal growth to Alain and the School of Life. It has helped me immensely to cope with current and past life.
It's now almost a shame and a curse as I observe how resistant my own loved ones and acquaintances are to such incredible revelations.
What is one to do?
Hello to all, thank you so much for your work on this channel.
A question to Alan, please consider writing a book for parents to read for their children. Some little stories, affirmations, thoughts about life (age appropriate) that would help parents tell the stories in the righter way. That we are all flawed, about happiness and our strangeness. Perhaps a book before bed. Thank you for considering. We love reading to our child and many books about feelings helped me so much realize that I did not know how to deal with certain emotions. We value so much books, and I think your way of telling things are so deep and clear at the same time would be such an advantage to any parent. Thank you again and all the best
Sadly enough, parents won't listen to anybody who dares to challenge them and their bearing toward their own children.
Those who do they're already in the business of bettering themselves, not needing much added guidance after all.
Very uplifting speech Alain as it is often the case when you are involved;
It won't be enough anyways :(
Thank you for this cautious comment... We're inclined to agree; but trying is important too.
Spot on!
Any addition to the betterment of society is welcome. Your comment though well-meaning I'm sure, is a subtraction, as there's nothing productive about pointing out that something positive is not enough to fix everything. No one thing is enough to fix everything but that fact should never deter one from contributing constructively. Take care.
As always, brilliantly articulate and spot on ☺️
Yes I feel this perspective very much. The comment on "Why aren't you in tune with your sadness?" really resonates. Recently I got really into wargamming and starting playing some WWII wargames with some of the brightest, crafty fellas I've ever met. These games takes months to learn the rules and usually a single game can last several days (10+hours). As we played more and more and I started to ask more questions about the actual war and reflecting on it with today's events, did our intimacy begin to drift apart. I found myself very much in a strange place whereby my only friends only wanted to battle in the game and not too much else. I found that I got deeply into the game because of how much I supressed my anger when I was very young; or rather was conditioned not to feel so as a young boy; pretty much the same either way. Didn't matter how much I replayed Operation Barbarossa (50x), conquered France or counter assaulted at Moscow that feeling of a melting furnance within still remained. Eventually with enough good 'luck' and guidance and some fresh air does one realize that even if those around us are being closed off chances are theyre simply applying those defensive techniques learned at a young age as you speak of; so in a real sense it aint personal. Id be a fool to not admit the gallons of grief Ive had to sweat off really since 2020 lockdown. That said, in this growth journey its amazing how many pals Ive had to say goodbye too (too many), their emotions have been just as painful as my own, dont ask me how i know.
May they find their way for that inner love and reconnect with their childhood selves, especially during these strange times...with enough 'luck' / probability they may read this message someday when they're ready to hear these groundbreaking answers, youve explained it so well what I was unable to articulate!
Journey aint over yet, still got some hidden emotions deep down in this here subconscious (i.e. uncomfortable in the present as we speak). Time to sweat some more (drug fee of course), lets go bring it!! Dont need no caffine or nothing, lets go!
Thank you for sharing such any amazing honest insight and reflections.
Alain is beyond insightful and able to distill the complex into articulate analogies and explanations.
Good fortune on your continued learning and healing. The fascinating, glorious, school of life.
Alain d Botton! So glad you are here.
Spot on about going back to explore childhood
Thank you for everything you do, Alain.
I spoke to him once before he was famous. He told me he loved my reading collection. x
Alain de Botton is angelic 😇
I now realize I have felt I must always agree... and entertain... and he reminded me that my mother used to tell me, when I was about 16, that my intuition was very good.
I feel really lucky to be able to watch this video
Irrespective of my personal opinion of Alain “push” de Botton, I still read all of this work and will no doubt buy the book. Good luck with it!
A mind-blowing explanation of sanity. Wow
21:00 yet it's not the only effect such parents might create in their kids, so they'll either have kids that will wish for celebrity or depressed children, well , adults.
bad parents don't always create future famous, empty minded , selfish children but depressed and isolated children too
As many as his talks are, this one is just as interesting and marvelous! There are even ones that I talk about on my channel like those on TED and Google. They are pretty good as well. Such a great speaker with a great mind!
I really enjoyed this talk, thank you!
My therapists is excellent and I prayed about it, I picked her just by her name because I thought it was going to be a good match. I am so thankful for her.
Absolutely amazing Alain. Thanks.
At 32 minutes, you say it would be unbearable for a child to think their parents were “bad” or screwed up in some way. And I disagree.
My father had trauma from being a POW in WW2, and my mother was just plain nuts (paranoid-schizophrenia aka) and I knew for certain by age 5 or 6 that they were unreliable people and I needed to depend on my own decisions to survive, although I never felt my life was at stake, just surrounded by these two incompetent people.
Today, age 80, I still find being alone to be delightful, due mainly to the Faith we’re not supposed to reveal here, so I’ll just shut up and thank you for a most enjoyable and enlightening talk.
So lovely having you back speaking to an audience.
Has a whole different Morphic Resonance.
Th❤nk you.
Enjoyed every minute of it.
Nat x
Hi Alan, from Chile I want to thank you your work and the one that does all the group of The School of life. I've been following you since you began in youtube and I always expect the video of the week 🥰. Also, I have followed your suggestions for years and I want to tell you I'm grateful for the universe to have lived in the same period you are alive doing all this amazing stuff. I'll get the book no matter what!
Thank you so much - greetings from London to Chile!
The messenger transcends his message…not that most of it resonates with me very much but I gotta be honest I would listen to ADB talk just about almost anything 🙃.
I would love to see TSOL go deeper on matters like everyday dissociation, amnesia, emptiness you know …and what separates normal and pathology in our lives….
I was so excited to visit London last month thinking I could visit SoL's store or location and bump into Alain if lucky, but learned it's closed.... A bit sad but was able to buy SoL books elsewhere as a souvenir of the trip.
Fantastic! Sadly our store shut during covid but our books are still available widely and we run all our services online.
Where was this recorded? I would love to see Alain live, i've been wanting it for years. I live near Amsterdam, the SoL is up and running here, might he visit sometime? Anytime?
please make a video about the philosophical journaling. And how does Alain structure his day? Thank you.
Would love a podcast between you and Jordan Peterson.
Thank you so much 🙏🏻🌿
You are so welcome
Thank you, dear team from the School of Life! I've really missed your talks. It was also a beautiful summary of some older videos which have helped me like the one on listening.
I know, you are very self-aware of generalizing sometimes. Anyway, one point I'd like to criticize is the statement: "We have all suffered trauma in childhood" (12:32). In my opinion, trauma in childhood consists of severe incidents like child abuse, child neglection or other events which have a tremendous effect on future life. To say everyone has suffered trauma is relativizing the experiences of affected individuals. I also find some of this relativizing pattern in the answer given in minute 51. A chemical imbalance in the brain might be the cause of a psychological disorder. Even though it is well meant, the hint 'an orange juice could help' might deprive someone of getting the profesional help they need. For example, the cause might be a Vitamine B12 deficieny or a lack of iron in the body. Anyway, I agree with the general statement that overintellectualizing ones bad moods is problematic. I wish you a nice evening. And thank you for your kindness and empathy.
This is a very good point indeed. Thank you so much for making it.
Trauma is not a painful event that happened to us, it is that we didn't have anyone to "talk to"/ process the painful event. So a child who was reprimanded for wanting a cookie before supper could be traumatized if the parent did not apologize for shouting or did not reassure the child after. Hopefully children have a big enough Village to find the right teacher/ nanny/ grandparent/ etc. to sustain their sense of feeling loved.
@@theschooloflifetv I need to study this more, but I am sure the author of Genesis intended notion of "Sins of the Father" refer to psychological baggage, and not to thieving.
I have been following Alain de Botton. I couldn't be more grateful for him and everything I have learnned from.him.
Dr. Gabor Matè also explained trauma in childhood, which is not limited abuse or injury, in his book The Myth of Normal.
@@lifeandmelody Okay, maybe my definition was wrong. I felt like there is an inflationary use of the word trauma. Thank you for your recommendation!
I just did a painting of Alain,but didn't like it. Now I'm gonna do another one using this video a reference🤞