Alain de Botton on A THERAPEUTIC JOURNEY
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- Опубликовано: 3 окт 2023
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This talk was hosted by How To Academy London’s home of big thinking. Find out more about their live programme of talks, conversations and debates with leading authors, artists, scientists and scholars at http:www.howtoacademy.com, and follow their biweekly podcast on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.
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All I can say is I changed my life for the better when I started listening to Alain de Botton, Esther Perel, and Drs John & Judy Gottman.
Me too! And also Tara Brach and Michael Singer
@@sarahdulaney6610 I've spent at least 1,000 hours listening to Michael Singer (and quite a few listening to Alain) and often reflect that Alain's talks on melancholy would not find a home in Mickey's teachings with its emphasis on the removal of samskaras leading to "ever-new joy" per Yogananda
Esther Perel is amazing. I’d like to add Brené Brown-she’s fabulous!
@@middleamerica3999 omg how could I miss her🙈
Don't forget Terry Real - useful stuff on relationships. Warm regards everyone!
It scares me a little how great I think Alain de Botton is. Every sentence so true, so wise, so warm-hearted. Plus this mega-sympathetic voice, a stunningly charming way of talking, thinking and motivating.
Alain is back again. Admire this gem. 👏
I am glad he is
He is the best ❤
The best part of parenting is to see the world through your child’s eyes. You get to experience everything for the first time again!!
But parents can forget this and don’t understand how every single thing is new to them. So a device to distract them isn’t needed. Especially sad when I see an 8 month old being given a mobile to stare at. People have lost their common sense.
The question at minute 1:05:20 is what Gabor Maté says about trauma as not what happens to you; it is what happens inside you as a result of what happens to you. It's great to hear both Alain and Gabor share the same perspective.
YES TOTALLY
Wonder if Alan would agree... with that comparison.??
@@ggrthemostgodless8713 I believe he would agree as I believe Both of them are talking about the same thing BUT From slightly different angle ( PLEASE BEAR WITH ME )
Gabor Mate is not a credible speaker for mental health sorry.
I'm afraid that's incorrect, Gabor is a titan in the field of mental health.@@bondi5000
Alain’s mind is extraordinary & beneficial to the world. I own almost the entirety of The School Of Life Library both audio and text books!
Thank you so much for your support.
I read the The School of Life - An Emotional Education. It is one of the most "sane" books I have so far read! Brilliant stuff. I am definitely getting the new book!
Great to have you back Alain. Haven't seen you for ages man. Your work has helped me in so much in past 10 years. I have most of your books and I religiously go through all of your RUclips videos. Hails from Tasmania, Australia 🇦🇺
Thank you for your kindness and willingness to share your knowledge with us. My life took a significant turn for the better seven years ago when I discovered your teachings, which provided me with the answers and guidance I had been seeking. I am deeply grateful for the profound impact you have had on my life, especially considering the vast cultural differences between us. It is truly remarkable that you have been able to positively influence my life! I think the reason is that you are always speaking the truth.
This is wonderful and so helpful, honestly just hearing someone with so much hope for us all is a gift. Thank you.
“Being able not just to live but to make time to process the act of living”
Omg during this year I was often writing Alain s name in hopes to find something new from him. Was wondering why weren’t any new interviews with him. Now he w back and I wanna se more live content with him.
I love his good sarcasm in narration always
I accidentally discovered Alain de Botton and am slowly discovering myself. Thank you!
As someone whose just hit 40 along with some relationship road blocks and a period of forced introspection - its very comforting to listen to the School of Life and Alain's eloquent take on how we are all, invariably, going through a common experience. Thank you
Thank you Alain, for introducing a bit of clarity into the never-ending maze of human behavior. This valuable insight is a gift of the highest order; for the benefit of humanity. Your work is appreciated. As a new father, I can't express how much I needed to hear the parts about parenting.
Amazing timing. I just got home from an amazing concert and feel depleted, and this was perfect to listen to to come down to earth and readjust from the dopamine frenzy
Unfortunately on the part about parenting, whoever intelligent enough to listen to you as parents don't need much guidance, the one who need help won't seek help.
Parents ALWAYS ruin their children.
Perhaps, but you never know how the all mighty algorithm may show them a better way.
@@husseinmohammed8654do you have children?
@pedrogorilla483
What you're asking me is irrelevant.
I read the quote I wrote somewhere and it's stuck inside my head and now i couldn't find who said it. I believe this quote is soothing so we can forgive our parents and move on because regardless of whoever our parents were, parents always ruin their children 😪...
Perhaps another stage of awareness is that instead of judgement, each one of us has a daily duty to pass on that which we have learned. Reach out across perceived social boundaries and pass on that which is useful - it's at the root of community, teaching and inclusivity - of course this is more likely to succeed with kindness, understanding and compassion. Warm regards...
You have healed certain aspects of myself during the pandemic period , you speak to my fragile, frightened, inadecuate , uncomfortable child inside me, thank you always for that ❤
Pre ordered the book! You have changed my mind and mental health in so many ways! Thank you Alain!
The lady an hour in asked an absolutely brilliant question. Government is the narcissistic parent and society is the fractured traumatised child.
I’ve always thought that too. Very dysfunctional family dynamic we have with our government.
The Government is not a nanny. Even worse, it just reflects society as a whole. The journey that Alain talks about is an individual journey in that one examines their own life to see how much their thoughts and emotions keep them in a balanced or unbalanced state...and how to achieve equanimity. Spirituality, especially Eastern thought, has long provided a lot of the answers for anyone who examines their life and wants to improve it.
Under 2 min mark, and I'm chuckling my head off! Thank you, Alain, for making us all feel better about ourselves ad about life!!
What a brainy and compassionate man, thanks for another gem
Thank you for the comment about reliving our parents' problems and trying to make the better world so that our own children will not have to suffer the same guilt and monitoring that we have.
Wow I love the breadth of topics and how smoothly ADB makes it appear with wisdom and humour. He has a unique way to offer deep wisdoms with hope and enthusiasm
Alain is so preciously human. Thank you for all the work
Hearing I should’ve had someone focus on me when I was young was both heart wrenching and incredibly validating ❤
Alain is the Best Educator on the school of life! Thank you for teaching us about emotional intelligence. Mental Health is so important.
It was great to see Alain up on stage again. Wish we could have been there! 🎉
Thank you Alain for all your work, I discovered it by accident but it echos everything I hold dear and worthwhile. I wish you and the school of life all the best.
Am in awe of Alain de Botton. Great intellect, huge heart, brilliant eloquence.
As a Psychotherapist I love & laughed at your discussion of the child and what it needs and how it is still with us when we are adults. Thank you so much. I have shared this video with several of my patients, as it condenses many aspects that one works on in therapy in a non shaming way.
Superb talk. Thanks to all the team for their efforts, to improve the human experience for all. ❤
Thank you Alain. SOL has changed my life all for the better and started me to read Aristotle again, watch horror movies (😅😅catharsis) , “hang out” with Alan Watts, watch Huberman Lab, say sorry and come clean to myself. Now healthier mentally, physically and emotionally. Hey hey… when do you plan to do another SOL seminar in NYC? I send you and your wonderful team sparkling and blissful thoughts
"Being able not just to live but to make time to process the act of living..."
Powerful.
what a joy to see alain again! and what a consolation it always is to listen to your mind and soul. it feels like a talk by the kind teacher we all deserve. the witty part about you writing the book for your parents made me laugh, then i thought about how true it really was: maybe we all do think about rescuing our parents 😆
i have followed the school of life ever since i was 15 in 2015, and what immense growth the team has seen. i now have several of your books and they are all hardcovers because i always thought i could pass it on to my children or loved ones in the future, and they will find it as impactful as i did. and someday i will know i am right.
I've been listening to the school of life for quite a few years and although it might seem unbelievable I find that every subject and every suggestion to be extraordinarily true and the best advice that can be given. I thank you and I whole heartedly believe u help so many people and should keep opening the eyes and minds of people...
So wonderful to see for the first time the face that belongs to such a soothing and iconic narrative voice!
I learn every time I listen to Alain de Botton! 😊
I love you so much Alain, thank you for being this teacher of emotional intelligence that has helped me countless times go though hardship and sorrow to better understand myself and fathom many harsh truths about myself and life itself. 😍
Yaaay ! new book by Alain , thank you for making the world a better place.
Alain's emphasis on the impact of childhood experiences in adult life is the reason I'll be a good enough parent.
The nice thing about Alain is that when I'm reading or listening to him I can stop (over-)thinking. Thank you, Alain
So many people owe you for your work. DOn't Stop!
Thank you soooooo much Alain for jogging my mind on a very meaningful memory ... I've been quite down until now ... I will share this video widely 🕊️🦋
I absolutely love his stand-up approach about these way to serious stuff...
No-one can fall asleep in his talks. One of the most engaging and enthusiastic presenters out there.
The perfect university lecturer for THAT one hard subject...(there's always one).
11/10.
Lovely. Your framework of thinking is essential in classroom discussions. Have used it. The result is amazing...students engaging. Glad you're back. All the best.🎉
This is an outstanding talk. Thank you ❤
Großartig - hier wird sehr deutlich, wie viel musikalisches Können in dem Projekt steckt!
Fantastic to see Alain again ! Have always been impressed and inspired by you. Thank you
At 32 minutes, you say it would be unbearable for a child to think their parents were “bad” or screwed up in some way. And I disagree.
My father had trauma from being a POW in WW2, and my mother was just plain nuts (paranoid-schizophrenia aka) and I knew for certain by age 5 or 6 that they were unreliable people and I needed to depend on my own decisions to survive, although I never felt my life was at stake, just surrounded by these two incompetent people.
Today, age 80, I still find being alone to be delightful, due mainly to the Faith we’re not supposed to reveal here, so I’ll just shut up and thank you for a most enjoyable and enlightening talk.
Thank you Alain de Button. You always bring so much relief and hope to my anxious will to grow and be mature. I'm still working on being nicer to myself ❤
Hilariously true words of wisdom :) love how you made it light and yet close at heart. I love how you say having a little insanity is a part of sanity.
Book pre-ordered already 😊 SoL work is so important, Im happy to see you continue growing and reaching more and more people
Yay! Thank you!
How nice to hear .. Alan, congratulations on your new book. Thank you for this I love being here.
Yes I feel this perspective very much. The comment on "Why aren't you in tune with your sadness?" really resonates. Recently I got really into wargamming and starting playing some WWII wargames with some of the brightest, crafty fellas I've ever met. These games takes months to learn the rules and usually a single game can last several days (10+hours). As we played more and more and I started to ask more questions about the actual war and reflecting on it with today's events, did our intimacy begin to drift apart. I found myself very much in a strange place whereby my only friends only wanted to battle in the game and not too much else. I found that I got deeply into the game because of how much I supressed my anger when I was very young; or rather was conditioned not to feel so as a young boy; pretty much the same either way. Didn't matter how much I replayed Operation Barbarossa (50x), conquered France or counter assaulted at Moscow that feeling of a melting furnance within still remained. Eventually with enough good 'luck' and guidance and some fresh air does one realize that even if those around us are being closed off chances are theyre simply applying those defensive techniques learned at a young age as you speak of; so in a real sense it aint personal. Id be a fool to not admit the gallons of grief Ive had to sweat off really since 2020 lockdown. That said, in this growth journey its amazing how many pals Ive had to say goodbye too (too many), their emotions have been just as painful as my own, dont ask me how i know.
May they find their way for that inner love and reconnect with their childhood selves, especially during these strange times...with enough 'luck' / probability they may read this message someday when they're ready to hear these groundbreaking answers, youve explained it so well what I was unable to articulate!
Journey aint over yet, still got some hidden emotions deep down in this here subconscious (i.e. uncomfortable in the present as we speak). Time to sweat some more (drug fee of course), lets go bring it!! Dont need no caffine or nothing, lets go!
Thank you for sharing such any amazing honest insight and reflections.
Alain is beyond insightful and able to distill the complex into articulate analogies and explanations.
Good fortune on your continued learning and healing. The fascinating, glorious, school of life.
I’m reading your new book Alain. You’re a helpful man. Bless you
Thank you for all you do. It’s of great consolation to me. I look forward to reading your book.
Extremely insightful and helpful. A wonderful motivation towards introspection and healing. Thank you very much !
Alain!!! So glad to see u again!
Such a genius! I loved every minute of it. The only thing I felt was underwhelming was the pace of the lecture. Such poignant and deep insights conveyed at a pace that my mind found it hard to absorb or imbibe within my being. I think usually the ideas, especially ones with such depth should with sandwiched with moments of pause or some simply some breathes. Apart from this one observation, it really is a treasure. Thank you so much for sharing it:)
You can slow down the video, you can find that in settings on the bottom right, that is what I sometimes do ...
As always, brilliantly articulate and spot on ☺️
I need more lecture kind of, like this. Really. I'm happy to be student of life as long as Alain de Botton is the teacher. ❤❤❤ I lovee the shorts animated videos too. It just I need the very very long videos.❤❤
Sadly enough, parents won't listen to anybody who dares to challenge them and their bearing toward their own children.
Those who do they're already in the business of bettering themselves, not needing much added guidance after all.
Very uplifting speech Alain as it is often the case when you are involved;
It won't be enough anyways :(
Thank you for this cautious comment... We're inclined to agree; but trying is important too.
Spot on!
Any addition to the betterment of society is welcome. Your comment though well-meaning I'm sure, is a subtraction, as there's nothing productive about pointing out that something positive is not enough to fix everything. No one thing is enough to fix everything but that fact should never deter one from contributing constructively. Take care.
How can he deal in such hard facts & good laughs in the same presentation?!? Cheers Dear Sir, that's mad skillz!
Thank you so much for sharing your invaluable insights! You provide wonderful consolation and support with emotional issues.
Thank you school of life, Thank you Alain ❤️😭
I really enjoyed this talk, thank you!
His talk here is well thought, he studied these patterns of parent-child relationship and he is offering solutions by describing exactly these patterns. He is genius and clearly wants people to understand their journeys to live an optimal life.
Alain de Botton is angelic 😇
I now realize I have felt I must always agree... and entertain... and he reminded me that my mother used to tell me, when I was about 16, that my intuition was very good.
Absolutely amazing Alain. Thanks.
I owe much of my personal growth to Alain and the School of Life. It has helped me immensely to cope with current and past life.
It's now almost a shame and a curse as I observe how resistant my own loved ones and acquaintances are to such incredible revelations.
What is one to do?
Love the crispness with which Alain conveys such powerful nuggets of wisdom and insight, and talking about thing in the raw (and often not 'politically correct') way that they are. Would love to have an in-person chat with him someday
Alain will one day be known as a great thinker! He was extremely under appreciated
Thank you for everything you do, Alain.
This guy’s a fuckin genius. Love it 👌
Thank you so much 🙏🏻🌿
You are so welcome
I wish with all my heart that I could talk to you for half an hour every day, Alain.
Incredible talk, this was so helpful. There are many times I heard an insight in the talk and felt, thinking about it more deeply.. that’s so true.. how could he have known that? Everyone should listen to this. If I could have asked a question though, I would wonder, what about the trauma that is inflicted not from parents but teachers and other children during childhood?
I love ALL the work you do. Namaste. ❤
Thank you for your generous words - and for coming to visit us so often.
A mind-blowing explanation of sanity. Wow
Wonderful talk Alain. Keep up the good work.
Loved this video and wish I could have been there listening to it live and got the book on my phone and started to liking it
Love this!! Yes! We are all weird in our way!! Thank you for shareing your thinking!
I was so excited to visit London last month thinking I could visit SoL's store or location and bump into Alain if lucky, but learned it's closed.... A bit sad but was able to buy SoL books elsewhere as a souvenir of the trip.
Fantastic! Sadly our store shut during covid but our books are still available widely and we run all our services online.
Where was this recorded? I would love to see Alain live, i've been wanting it for years. I live near Amsterdam, the SoL is up and running here, might he visit sometime? Anytime?
Irrespective of my personal opinion of Alain “push” de Botton, I still read all of this work and will no doubt buy the book. Good luck with it!
Hi Alan, from Chile I want to thank you your work and the one that does all the group of The School of life. I've been following you since you began in youtube and I always expect the video of the week 🥰. Also, I have followed your suggestions for years and I want to tell you I'm grateful for the universe to have lived in the same period you are alive doing all this amazing stuff. I'll get the book no matter what!
Thank you so much - greetings from London to Chile!
Spot on about going back to explore childhood
I spoke to him once before he was famous. He told me he loved my reading collection. x
Your voice is therapy mate, thank you
Alain d Botton! So glad you are here.
I feel really lucky to be able to watch this video
please make a video about the philosophical journaling. And how does Alain structure his day? Thank you.
The messenger transcends his message…not that most of it resonates with me very much but I gotta be honest I would listen to ADB talk just about almost anything 🙃.
I would love to see TSOL go deeper on matters like everyday dissociation, amnesia, emptiness you know …and what separates normal and pathology in our lives….
This is very therapeutic. Thank you
As a therapist this is really good and a clear description of being human
As an astronaut i can second this!
It saddens me a lot that now with her demise I've come to realize that she is my first true friend I've ever lost in my life, I never had the chance to tell her how much she meant to me, she was truly a magnificent force of nature, I'll forever miss her.
As many as his talks are, this one is just as interesting and marvelous! There are even ones that I talk about on my channel like those on TED and Google. They are pretty good as well. Such a great speaker with a great mind!
This is calming
My therapists is excellent and I prayed about it, I picked her just by her name because I thought it was going to be a good match. I am so thankful for her.