Not to be that guy, but it was for evil taxpayers who charged more than actually was required and stole the extra (most of them were evil at the time, so the title stuck)
I feel like Gabriel 1 would do your taxes if you're like nice to him and a devout christian, like, if you're just some random guy he'd be like "No" but like if you're nice and devout he'd be like "Though your mind shows desperation, and your body is weak, your heart shows goodness in you, plentiful indeed. Hold tight, devout one, I will do your taxes for you just this once."
i feel like benjamin would be a total homie and help you fill out your tax forms while telling you stories of events from years ago idk he kind of chill like that
Counterpoint: There is a hidden stalker that made a sand castle, thus, stalkers at least have a base level of human intelligence, and probably remember their human life. Assuming this as true, it is reasonable to expect they can preform simple calculations, especially with the help of a calculator.
@@jaceg810Brother, material possession IS their ideological beliefs if we're saying they're greedy. They might make it expensive as hell, but so long as they ain't the ones getting taxed, they're fine with it.
...Only problem is they DO have the canister of gold dust to carry, and their body is oriented SUPER weirdly. They'd probably be moreso physically incapable due to it.
hard disagree on sentry. sentry is do my taxes for free tier. sentry will render your tax papers in 8k ultrawide and then it will precisely shoot the numbers into the paper and then it will go Beep Boop Beep Boop ^^ when it's done like a good little sniper robot. massive golden retriever energy, it will do its best and its best will be legally admissible to the IRS
Well, that's IF you can hack it to do your taxes. At the end of the day, it's still a sniper robot built during war, for war. Plus, that rifle it has is designed to penetrate steel, thus is likely an antimaterial rifle, sooo I'd imagine it would NOT be able to shoot numbers into the paper. It can shoot precisely, but it'd just destroy the paper. ...But if you DID hack it, I'd imagine it'd spit out completed tax papers in record time, so long as you, in fact, linked it to the printer and loaded all the needed tax info to it. And for free, of course. It just depends on if you can hack it.
@@Leekodot15 We can assume that the sentry uses an upscaled electric rail weapon, firing microscopic specs of dust, just like the guttermen and revolver used by V1 and V2. So it could probably shoot more shots at a much lower charge with just enough force to write into your paper.
@@Emberduckswordmachine would do taxes if paid the swordsmachine is extremely smart, for it can do surgery and rewire itself it could do the same to do taxes, and also would be more than capable
You tellin me that the guard, security robot V2 would NOT do your taxes???? He looks like hed listen to you if u asked him and would get PTSD from being paid bc of all the coins thrown by V1
@@Emberducknot really tho. If we're talking about classic human education with classrooms and shit then all the machines will just kill everyone, demons would do the same and if not they are too stoopid to understand anything, prisons don't have brains like at all. So the only ones that would be able to go through any kind of education are Minos, Sysiphus, Virtues(they were regular souls I believe), and Gabriel. But if they all will be in one classroom then Primes will kill Gabe slow and painfully. I guess machines also can just download all the material. Edit: I forgor💀 husks. Maybe Stray and Soldier will be able to learn something. Filth is stupid, Insurrectionists literally don't have a brain and neither do they have hands to write. Schizm will have a really hard time since they are 2 persons melt together. Corpse of Minos is controlled by 2 withers from Minecraft.
@@kyrazz128 Hmm hold please... Right from the terminal entry: Curious by nature, but to keep production costs low, their intelligence is very limited. They will occasionally make chirping noises, almost similar to birds. That's all it says
Actually, the Cerberus Statues are hinted at being sentient. When they don't attack you, they are just choosing not to. It could probably do your taxes.
My buddy earth mover would be able to do the taxes for the entire population in seconds, have you seen the size of that brain? Plus he’s a bro, an absolute G. He’d definitely do it for free
I think Pinos would be the IRS. Like, you give him your taxes-- he's literally -used to be king. He used to be king. He's the one taxing you. Problem is, he IS king, so he would probably get services that do your taxes automatically set up... like LITERALLY *EVERYWHERE ELSE.* So sure, I guess he'd still do your taxes for you, technically. And then Benjamin, as others have pointed out, is the literal city you're doing the taxes in. He'd be the server the tax service is hosted on, payed for by fellow tax payers, or even just solar power.
much better type of content than usual regular gameplay we need more informational videos like these i mean how else would anyone know if the souls of the damned can do taxes
I feel like v2 would help you, he's a protector of the pepole built to serve them as a police force. So naturally he'd want you to do your taxa to help fund him. So he'd help you, but only because you pay him.
Okay hear me out, V2 was built to serve humans, the only reason he doesn’t is because that directive is overridden by the fact that humans don’t exist anymore. So he’d actually have to do your taxes if you told him to. Probably same for Benjamin, but idk if only doing the calculations for you would count as doing them. Also HEY WAIT YOU FORGOT THE RODENTS
I AM AWARE OF THE RODENTS! THEY WEREN'T ON THE TIER LIST! but on that note, with my knowledge of civvie lore cancerous rodent would tell me not to do my taxes, very cancerous rodent would vaporize my taxes
I honestly think V2 MIGHT actually help you with your taxes, assuming you're actually living in peacetime, since it was designed during peacetime. Perhaps even for free? I imagine it wouldn't care too much about money, considering the situation of the world it was made in...
Gabriel: "Machine... no... I'm not doing your taxes... You gotta do them yourself..." Gabriel 2: "TO HELL WITH ALL THESE TAXES MACHINE! YOU HAVE *RUINED* MY LIFE THEN ASK *ME* TO DO *YOUR* TAXES AS IF I'M SOME TOOL TO BE MADE USE OF!" Minos: "Thou is asking me to do thy taxes... to tell thou the truth this prison is very cumbersome... thou shall get me my reading glasses so we can do thou's taxes..." Sisyphus: "THESE TAXES... TO HOLD... ME?!"
Okay, I’ll come back to this video soon, but I have explicitly avoided Ultrakill spoilers until I Git Gud enough to finish the game, so I don’t want any more spoilers.
Let’s just say, there’s more things than taxes that I would pay the Mindflayers to do, if you know what I mean… Considering that they’re obsessed with perfection, I could probably employ them as coders and not worry about glitches.
Personal Rankings from the secret levels! (mileage may vary) - SomethingWicked would absolutely not care. Like. Not even a little. (Too Stupid) - Mirage is too busy depression-maxxing before the level starts to do them (Could but Wouldn't), and after she would actively commit tax evasion (Tells You Not To). - Most of the Fish are (Too Stupid)... However... - PITR Fish is supposedly "A very smart fish." However, as they are... fish... They're (Physically Unable) to preform. - Bomb Fish is. a bomb. (Destroys Taxes) - Shark whispers madness into your ears (Tells You Not To). - "Ghost Drones" are "real enemies" and "totally a reference". Yeah, sure, next you'll tell me they'll *(Does Them For Free)* . ???? In all seriousness, they're ghost robot ghost robot ghosts. They either don't mind, and will do 'em, or don't care and won't. I'm sure they're chill though.
my personal version, from destroy/burn/eat (at the top) to for free (bottom); filth, sc, levi, wicked stray, stalker, soldier, andre, mannequin, prisons, rodents, puppet schism (terminal states it has bad motor control), insurr, maurice, idol, *him*, corpse minos, drone gabe2, boulder man every other machine, big john, gabe, hypothetically minotaur (it's smart enough to realize it was rejected, and wants to see the sun one last time) kharon, mandalore, gabe (low possibility) minos
Me: can you do my taxes
Ferryman: no
Me: I'll give you a Gabriel body pillow
Ferryman: you son of a bitch, I'm in
since you payed him to do your taxes this still first with his spot on the tierlist
FUN FACT: in Dante's inferno Fraud is where the tax collectors go!
good riddance.
And tax evaders
so THATS why hakita is taking forever
Not to be that guy, but it was for evil taxpayers who charged more than actually was required and stole the extra (most of them were evil at the time, so the title stuck)
So tax evasion is simply evading demons. GOD FUCKING BLESS BEING ILLEGAL!
The ferryman is the only one that should be able to do your taxes
Literally nobody else in hell would care
sisyphus would be like : "pls, don't do your taxes and let the IRS come, i wanna fight them"
canon
100% on board with his idea
sisiphus would absolutely call in a bomb threat or something purely to beat up the swat team
Sisiphus 1v1 SLBM, who wins?
@@lavenderdasillykitty i wonder
imagine being the swat and the guy whos saying bomb threats its a glowing orb. like dude are you the bomb?
@@ANDYZMANIA imagine being a swat unit and some radioactive orange dude just yells DESTROY and a fucking thermonuclear bomb goes off
I feel like Gabriel 1 would do your taxes if you're like nice to him and a devout christian, like, if you're just some random guy he'd be like "No" but like if you're nice and devout he'd be like "Though your mind shows desperation, and your body is weak, your heart shows goodness in you, plentiful indeed. Hold tight, devout one, I will do your taxes for you just this once."
Sisyphus will take your tax money and you will be the one in jail for tax evasion
One must imagine the taxpayer happy
😔
“This federal prison..? To hold me?!”
according to the greeks, yeah that's what canon sisyphus would do.
i feel like benjamin would be a total homie and help you fill out your tax forms while telling you stories of events from years ago
idk he kind of chill like that
he does seem kinda chill like that honestly
U right, he only freaked out in game bc the robot designed to kill him appeared right in front of him
"back in my day humanity used to exist"
@@plotheplayer6462 "ok grandpa benjamin, time for your nap"
@@Emberduckproceeds to cause an earthquake when lying down
V1 would just go the Main IRS building and start Punching coins at the Receptionists
Lore accurate v1
+FISTFULL OR DOLLAR
+ricoshot 1x
1 minor thing: The Schism's terminal entry states that they have very poor motor control, so I would say they are incapable of doing taxes
big keyboard
what no fraud layer does to a community
But fraud is where the taxes happen!
you seem quite familiar
@@AlteredUltrakill you appear familiar dear
@@Cherno35 (you look just like my bathroom mirror (assuming this is a will wood refrence if its not i will look very stupid))
@@Cherno35 How do you have 77 subs???
Gabriel would probably say, "Mortal I am beyond taxes." Now, if you interrupted him when he was playing the organ, then get ready for a fight
Actually true
no he is tax exempt
I think we should get Gianni to voice this
Counterpoint:
There is a hidden stalker that made a sand castle, thus, stalkers at least have a base level of human intelligence, and probably remember their human life. Assuming this as true, it is reasonable to expect they can preform simple calculations, especially with the help of a calculator.
Yeah but they would still not do taxes because they are ideologically opposed to them (greed layer)
@@Рргд If you pay them they might? Material possession outweighing their ideological beliefs and all that
@@jaceg810Brother, material possession IS their ideological beliefs if we're saying they're greedy.
They might make it expensive as hell, but so long as they ain't the ones getting taxed, they're fine with it.
...Only problem is they DO have the canister of gold dust to carry, and their body is oriented SUPER weirdly. They'd probably be moreso physically incapable due to it.
hard disagree on sentry. sentry is do my taxes for free tier. sentry will render your tax papers in 8k ultrawide and then it will precisely shoot the numbers into the paper and then it will go Beep Boop Beep Boop ^^ when it's done like a good little sniper robot. massive golden retriever energy, it will do its best and its best will be legally admissible to the IRS
i think your sentry is trained better than mine
Well, that's IF you can hack it to do your taxes. At the end of the day, it's still a sniper robot built during war, for war. Plus, that rifle it has is designed to penetrate steel, thus is likely an antimaterial rifle, sooo I'd imagine it would NOT be able to shoot numbers into the paper. It can shoot precisely, but it'd just destroy the paper.
...But if you DID hack it, I'd imagine it'd spit out completed tax papers in record time, so long as you, in fact, linked it to the printer and loaded all the needed tax info to it. And for free, of course.
It just depends on if you can hack it.
@@Leekodot15 We can assume that the sentry uses an upscaled electric rail weapon, firing microscopic specs of dust, just like the guttermen and revolver used by V1 and V2. So it could probably shoot more shots at a much lower charge with just enough force to write into your paper.
@@Emberduckswordmachine would do taxes if paid
the swordsmachine is extremely smart, for it can do surgery and rewire itself
it could do the same to do taxes, and also would be more than capable
“Can this ULTRAKILL enemy make a grilled cheese?”
You tellin me that the guard, security robot V2 would NOT do your taxes???? He looks like hed listen to you if u asked him and would get PTSD from being paid bc of all the coins thrown by V1
Yes
V2 would most likely be the tax collector.
I have been evading taxes since 2XXX
You think he'll be my friend too? I prefer V2 over V1
Ferryman also wants you to pay money so you can complete level
What no layer 8 does to a man:
what no revamp update does to a mf
Should have made a tier above “do taxes for free” saying “destroys the irs”
damn, i should've.
i would've put sisyphus there too
P-3 is gonna be IRS prime fr
"My name is V1, And in today's video I am going to ULTRAKILL the IRS."
the arena is a maze of buildings and shit and the IRS always knows where you are
No it wont, it will be an secret level in fraud
7:50 the Earthmover is the one giving you taxes (walking city and all)
Fr lmao
Sisyphus is literally in hell because he tricked death, so why not the IRS too?
Finally, appetizer -Leviathan seeing taxes
Do a "who can go through basic education (preschool,1st to 9nt grade,highschool,college)"
@@Theplumbertakedown Oh hell yeah, that's a really good idea
@@Emberducknot really tho. If we're talking about classic human education with classrooms and shit then all the machines will just kill everyone, demons would do the same and if not they are too stoopid to understand anything, prisons don't have brains like at all. So the only ones that would be able to go through any kind of education are Minos, Sysiphus, Virtues(they were regular souls I believe), and Gabriel. But if they all will be in one classroom then Primes will kill Gabe slow and painfully. I guess machines also can just download all the material.
Edit: I forgor💀 husks. Maybe Stray and Soldier will be able to learn something. Filth is stupid, Insurrectionists literally don't have a brain and neither do they have hands to write. Schizm will have a really hard time since they are 2 persons melt together. Corpse of Minos is controlled by 2 withers from Minecraft.
@@just_pufferfish Damn, guess I don't need to do a hypothetical ranking anymore lol
@@Emberduckthen do a ranking of who could do a job/job application
@@Theplumbertakedown rank who could work at macdongal...
the drone has the intelligence of a bird btw
yeah but it can probably run doom.
and if it can run doom, it can calculate.
and if it can calculate, it can do my damn taxes istg lmao
"But can it run doom?"
@no...u the question to end all questions
What type of bird tho?
There are lota of them
@@kyrazz128 Hmm hold please...
Right from the terminal entry: Curious by nature, but to keep production costs low, their intelligence is very limited. They will occasionally make chirping noises, almost similar to birds. That's all it says
I have thoroughly enjoyed this video with my food. Keep cooking, and I'll keep eating.
i'm glad you enjoyed this video and your food!
Benjamin isn’t paying taxes, he’s where all your taxes go
earthmover could probably fill them out and print within 0.25 seconds
Actually, the Cerberus Statues are hinted at being sentient. When they don't attack you, they are just choosing not to. It could probably do your taxes.
this is underrated as hell. i love this video, 1 minute in. genuinely funny!
3:05 Soldier also has one cannon arm so he could probably go in "physically incapable" too
bro can still hold a pencil
@Emberduck That's why I said "could probably"
Stalkers are the husks of the rich and greedy, they'd definitely tell you to not pay taxes.
"next up we have the mindflayer-"
"SMASH"
what was i thinking bruh 😭
⚠down bad alert ⚠
🤨📸
🤨📸
🤨📸
🤨📸
If you're a human, V2 probably wouldn't have any problems with doing taxes, since he was created to assist and protect humans
If your v1 you pay v2 the tax money with your fist
@@elliotepegs7369 with v2s fists you mean?
@@mrp_izza no u just punch the tax money into the air so it just +fistfull of dollar
This game is so good, there are videos like this before the full version even releases.
Minos prime: they taxes are Finished
My buddy earth mover would be able to do the taxes for the entire population in seconds, have you seen the size of that brain? Plus he’s a bro, an absolute G. He’d definitely do it for free
benjamin would look down and _very_ precisely use his harpoon-like weapon to write like a pen
Tier list about how they cook spaghetti
7:50 the earthmover would do taxes if you payed it blood, perhaps a few bags.
Unfortunately, I’m going in “too stupid to do my taxes” tier :(
RIP :(
Me: Sisyphus should I do my taxes?
Sisyphus: Nah fuck that shit
Benjamin wont do taxes for the government.
Benjamin IS the government
Sentries, the flesh prison and flesh panopticon should be at the "physically incapable of doing taxes" rank because they have no arms.
sentries are machines, so they can just compute taxes and then print tax papers.
as for the prisons, yeah, i can most definitely see your logic.
@@Emberduck the sentry is literally just a gun with legs what are you talking about
@@tvhaha361 i'm talkin bout the p
I think Pinos would be the IRS. Like, you give him your taxes-- he's literally -used to be king. He used to be king. He's the one taxing you. Problem is, he IS king, so he would probably get services that do your taxes automatically set up... like LITERALLY *EVERYWHERE ELSE.* So sure, I guess he'd still do your taxes for you, technically.
And then Benjamin, as others have pointed out, is the literal city you're doing the taxes in. He'd be the server the tax service is hosted on, payed for by fellow tax payers, or even just solar power.
Isn’t benjamin technically a landlord for having people living on him? Plus you could hook him up with a computer to help you
minos was a king. he’d have the hell irs tell you how much you have to pay
what am I even watching anymore I'm so desperate for the fraud layer
@@CivicallyNotDan have fun waiting another year lol
I immediately thought for the Mindflayer that they would tell you to just not do them, which seems fitting somehow, but I have no idea why.
The lethiathan has over 100 brains (technically +1 probably because of their heart) and yet can't make a single calculation
nah sisyphus would burn your taxes because he feels like it
Most normal ultrakill video:
4:49 based street cleaner moment
The Stalker was a tax evader obviously he would tell you not to
i get the "would tell you not to do your taxes" vibes from first v2 tbh
Hard disagree on earthmover I’ll ask the civilians on its back to do my taxes for free using Electricity
much better type of content than usual regular gameplay
we need more informational videos like these i mean how else would anyone know if the souls of the damned can do taxes
Cerberus would tell you not to do your taxes
We need gianni to do the gabriel "DO YOUR OWN TAXES MORTAL" / "FUCK YOUR TAXES MORTAL"
that would be dope
Hikata is so ungodly slow at finishing Ultrakill that his fan base has resorted to doing this
TRUE!!!!
shush.. let him cook.
I feel like v2 would help you, he's a protector of the pepole built to serve them as a police force. So naturally he'd want you to do your taxa to help fund him. So he'd help you, but only because you pay him.
Now rank ultrakill enemies by how they will taste when cooked
@@5P_OFFICIAL oh my god that's actually a great idea
And V1 could do your taxes, but would be to busy taking your blood. V3 ON THE OTHER HAND. Now that guy is a bro, for FREE.
nuh uh.. the stalker is from the greed level so he would commit fraud ig
Hell yeah !
It’s 2 am here and tomorrow is a busy day , I am absolutely watching this right fucking now!
9:32 Gabriel is V1's husband, so I'd hope he does your taxes for free (I can find the source if you need)
Gimme
@V2_From_Ultrakill6969 The source?
@@DigitalFleshStudio pls. V1 has been bullying me, I need revenge
Okay hear me out, V2 was built to serve humans, the only reason he doesn’t is because that directive is overridden by the fact that humans don’t exist anymore. So he’d actually have to do your taxes if you told him to. Probably same for Benjamin, but idk if only doing the calculations for you would count as doing them. Also HEY WAIT YOU FORGOT THE RODENTS
I AM AWARE OF THE RODENTS! THEY WEREN'T ON THE TIER LIST! but on that note, with my knowledge of civvie lore
cancerous rodent would tell me not to do my taxes, very cancerous rodent would vaporize my taxes
@ nah, you could 100% train them to do your taxes, rodents are smart asf
"we all pay taxes" damn this list is already shit and incorrect 10 seconds in
damn u rite u rite
I honestly think V2 MIGHT actually help you with your taxes, assuming you're actually living in peacetime, since it was designed during peacetime. Perhaps even for free? I imagine it wouldn't care too much about money, considering the situation of the world it was made in...
he would absolutely tell me to not do them I don’t know why but he would
Imagine ultrakill au were humanity didnt extint
Gabriel: "Machine... no... I'm not doing your taxes... You gotta do them yourself..."
Gabriel 2: "TO HELL WITH ALL THESE TAXES MACHINE! YOU HAVE *RUINED* MY LIFE THEN ASK *ME* TO DO *YOUR* TAXES AS IF I'M SOME TOOL TO BE MADE USE OF!"
Minos: "Thou is asking me to do thy taxes... to tell thou the truth this prison is very cumbersome... thou shall get me my reading glasses so we can do thou's taxes..."
Sisyphus: "THESE TAXES... TO HOLD... ME?!"
Emberduck doing this instead of doing his taxes
earthmover would reduce the taxes and everything related to them to atoms
I know little of this game, but this tier list was funny. Might be peak for this game's community, can't lie.
Average ultrakill video:
"we all pay taxes" lmfao imagine paying taxes
All machines can do your taxes bro
just because they can doesn't mean they would
Gabriel standing looks uncanny
@Maurice23901 He does look uncanny when standing honestly
Virtues and Earthmover need to go in "tax collector" tier
peak.
now THIS is content
I do not hate paying taxes as I understand the social contract with my government I exist within
real
Yeah no I hate taxes I don’t care who Gabriel sends I’m not paying those things
Slice slice slice and suddenly no more taxes :D
bros getting ready for the fraud layer 😭
7:11 bro don't know the lore of ultrakill gutterman can do your taxes
Okay, I’ll come back to this video soon, but I have explicitly avoided Ultrakill spoilers until I Git Gud enough to finish the game, so I don’t want any more spoilers.
fair enough, my g
Why have hell creatures do your taxes when you can just not do your taxes at all!
TRUE!!!
Now *this* is a peak ultrateir ultralist
YOU'RE a peak ultratier ultralist
Let’s just say, there’s more things than taxes that I would pay the Mindflayers to do, if you know what I mean…
Considering that they’re obsessed with perfection, I could probably employ them as coders and not worry about glitches.
had me in the first half, not gonna lie
Hype.
I dont think Leviathan would eat your tax papers, I think it would drag them to the bottom of the Ocean Styx
okay, but what would it do with them after that?
Make the souls in the circle of wrath even more angry by reminding them of their taxes
you are truly ultrakilling your taxes
thanks luigi
i mean
thanks alewastakenlol
peak example of running out of content, still good
@Lennu-m3z please hakita just give us the update
@@Emberduck i agree, its been 12 months (or 11) since the last layer
@Lennu-m3z it has been a full year now since violence, as of a few days ago
@@Emberduck ok, at least the community is not +enraged (unlike some other games)
Fire idea, might make a similar video
Personal Rankings from the secret levels!
(mileage may vary)
- SomethingWicked would absolutely not care. Like. Not even a little. (Too Stupid)
- Mirage is too busy depression-maxxing before the level starts to do them (Could but Wouldn't), and after she would actively commit tax evasion (Tells You Not To).
- Most of the Fish are (Too Stupid)... However...
- PITR Fish is supposedly "A very smart fish." However, as they are... fish... They're (Physically Unable) to preform.
- Bomb Fish is. a bomb. (Destroys Taxes)
- Shark whispers madness into your ears (Tells You Not To).
- "Ghost Drones" are "real enemies" and "totally a reference". Yeah, sure, next you'll tell me they'll *(Does Them For Free)* . ????
In all seriousness, they're ghost robot ghost robot ghosts. They either don't mind, and will do 'em, or don't care and won't.
I'm sure they're chill though.
God i cant wait for layer 8
personally i think gabriel would be willing to *help* do your taxes but he wont do it for you
hold up, HOW DO YOU ONLY HAVE 581 SUBS
@@OgerponFan idk lol
Masterpiece
my personal version, from destroy/burn/eat (at the top) to for free (bottom);
filth, sc, levi, wicked
stray, stalker, soldier, andre, mannequin, prisons, rodents, puppet
schism (terminal states it has bad motor control), insurr, maurice, idol, *him*, corpse minos, drone
gabe2, boulder man
every other machine, big john, gabe, hypothetically minotaur (it's smart enough to realize it was rejected, and wants to see the sun one last time)
kharon, mandalore, gabe (low possibility)
minos
I have to know, what would you put mirage in?😅
i'd put her in the "would tell you to commit tax evasion" tier
Hi, I'm subscriber # 611, great video!!!, have a good day!!!