How to Deal with Rude & Toxic People
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- Опубликовано: 10 ноя 2016
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Cut out toxic people. Period!
Yay yay yay, I so don't see the point of those people trying to stick to them.
Unfortunately it’s not that clear cut ,could be your boss a partner
The more we just let things go and understand that people like to act superior to boost their self esteem. They like to criticize and belittle and laugh at people to feel better about themselves. Mature respectful and sympathetic people are more in tune with people's feelings and treat people with respect. I have noticed that self obsessed people dont like things they cant tolerate and like the power trip of demeaning people and putting them in their place. That's why its best not to take it personally if people are inconsiderate because they are not thinking about people's feelings. If people show disrespect they lack respect. Everyone is too interested in themselves and have less time for people they don't admire and respect.
Wise advice
100%.
Offering them your silence is the best solution. They can’t say anything in response to a person that’s literally not talking to them. When you try talking to a fool no one knows the difference between you and them.
Thank you for the advice.
“What's comes out of people as just what's within the people”, so true!!
Just avoid toxic people! When you feel their weird negative vibes just walk away! As someone who goes out of my way to always be nice and caring it is not worth your time to even deal with or acknowledge these people!
my sister is always so rude and negative about everything and this really helped change my mind set on how to handle this kind of situation. Thank you so much
Glad this was helpful Morgan. :)
This was really helpful. I’m 13 and my mother is VERY TOXIC. She is so mean and rude, it’s not even funny. I would get called all type of names and get yelled at for things I didn’t even do! And this isn’t like a one time thing, it’s every single day. Sometimes I just start crying because I can’t get away from the name calling and the yelling. But this video helped me find ways to stay calm and not blame myself.
I send you love and am in awe of your response for someone your age. Sometimes other people's pain spills over and onto us, and it's so important to always tell yourself loving things, to empower yourself and to know it's not your fault when others treat you that way. 💗
There are toxic mothers. I'm sorry you have one. Be sure to love yourself and care for yourself. You will find that love you have for yourself will come back to you from unexpected people 🧡
Ignoring rude people doesn't work . If they cared about your feelings they would be polite. Say let's keep it polite . Or say let's be nice mature adults . If you tell them to be polite in front of people it really shocks them and most of the time they will be polite. They probably are stressed or too into their egos. Narcissistic people or people with snobby arrogant attitudes need to Ego trip to feel important. Don't show a weakness . Or give your power away to these people. Always be nice to polite and dignified around these people.
I just hate how we have to do 500% of the work when talking to a rude & toxic person. They really should do work themselves to make this situation better. It's so draining.
I can see your point, but I know as we can not change others, so we have to control our own though process for our own peace of mind.
They really need to go to therapy I wish they'd put their pride to the side.
I have to agree because in some ways it's like dealing with road rage. It can escalate to a tragedy. Don't think for one second, these people will ever change. The only change will be in their manipulation tactics. If at all possible, completely remove them from your life and never look back.
Most Toxic people Are. Crying. Out for attention,..being angry at the universe doesnt help.
I agree with everything in this video. Lately the way I've been dealing with toxic people is by minimizing contact with them and keeping the brief interactions positive.
Nice work! Thanks for sharing that Troy. Wishing you well for the week ahead. B
Thank you for this compassionate and simple advice. Rude family members probably do feel not heard and just lash out.
:) Thanks Mercy (ps. Love your name!)
Pinch Me Living thank you 😊
Thank you for this helpful insight into the "whys" and not the "hows" of toxic people. They have some work ahead of them, and so do I. I pray that I am not their toxic person feeding them toxicity.
:)
So true, wise words. Thank you!
:)
Leave them, and never go back!
You have to let people know how you feel... in a polite way
👍
Thanks for the help. I have a brother and he doesn’t allow anybody else’s opinion. It’s always about himself. He’s done nasty stuff to my family in the past that he got kicked out. if you ask him something, he’ll reply back sarcastically and talk to other people about false information about yourself. I find it so funny that I trust my friends,sister and parents but not my own brother. Everything he says is a lie.Sadly, my sister is falling into his tricks because she’s afraid to stand up for herself because she knows all of the horrible memories of things that he done to her.
Thanks, this is very useful for me living in America right now with the anger and division in our people over the election
Glad this helped! B :)
The east coast US is the epicenter of rude and impatient people. The one positive thing about this is that people tend to let you know their feelings in a very direct manner = !
The North is the same. Impatient, and shit mannerisms. (Not all people, but they're rather consistent). Lol.
I needed to hear this so much
I can never think of bringing in a new idea cause these ppl traumatize me. I go back to being tht abused little girl and I feel attacked and like I have no power. I cannot do this it seems. I get blocked.
So... no punching them in the throat, then? Dang... hahaha. God bless you, dear.
LOL. Yeah, not so much! 😄
I pull out a loaded gun, taking charge of the situation immediately. I've done it hundreds of time. It never fails. (She can rabbit that lady.)
@@tipple58 That makes you a toxic person as well so you know.
Tired of being harassed bullied at my job!. Most days i dread goin on because i know there's gonna be some sort of attack. Ive walked away. Ive shed tears. Ive listened. Now that i forced to speak up for myself im looked as tho im the bad guy!! I havent slept! I wanna quit soooo bad!!. But i have a lil one i have take care of.. I really want change for the better. Tired of being attacked Every. Single. Day!!! 😢😢😢
I hear you! There are definitely points when we realize that it's time to get out of toxic environments. Even if it takes a while to find a new job, actively seeking something new is empowering. Rather than look at the options of either quit or stay, both of which don't feel good to you or work for your needs, consider looking for new work while still in the job so you retain security but are also moving toward what better works for you. Sending best wishes for everything. B 💞
I had no choice but to deal with toxic ppl from being a child and this was my grand father even after 8 years of no contact it still affects me. And they don't listen when I'm supportive or expressed my concern so that's why I think I should never deal with them again for my own mental health even though they send me cards saying "thinking of you" but you don't even wanna know what horrible and wrong things my grandfather said it still haunts me to this day. I don't understand.
Sending love your way for peace and healing 💕
This video is definitely a ten out of ten for me lol!
Whenever anyone’s rude to me, I just break down and cry with a mentality that they’re old enough to know better.
the video was really beneficial.....i wish someone has told me so long before ...thank you so much.
You're so welcome Joseph, I'm very happy to share this with you. Best wishes! B
Youssef Mhanna im sorry but to deal with rude people you NEED to be rude back and insult back BUT do not do it in a way that it seems they got under your skin, do nit show anger or you lose, you need to show as if their insult had ZERO impact on you and laugh it off even agree and amplify their joke towards you and JOKINGLY try your best to insult them back in a funny manner and socially intelligent way for others to laugh at him, he will NOT like this and WILL stop otherwise you will get no respect and others WILL join in on teasing you if you dont defend yourself , the whole "mirror thier emotions and show empathy" haha no expect to get bullied doing that
goog mail but then that makes you the toxic person and the wound do it back and it's a loop and there is 2 toxic people
This is a good video. I have a friend who I like but she is problematic. She can be pushy, rude and try to be domineering. But there are also good qualities about her. So I am trying to develop a way of dealing with her. I limit the time that I spent with her but do not want to dump her as a friend. Thanks again. Separate yourself and hold your own, that is the key.
:) Pleased to share this with you. Wishing you well with your friend.
I agree with you, but, what if lots of people are directing their nastyness and horrible behaviour towards you it dosen work just to pray for them or try to understand the poor souls, why cant these peope just dissapear up their own fundaments never to be seen again!
Learn the gray rock technique which means you stop "reacting" to toxic people. Abusive people like to "push your buttons" to get a reaction out of you. Then they use your reactions against you!! Your abuser has no empathy for you and feeling sorry for them or praying for them will not fix the situation. Distance yourself from toxic people and learn how to set firm boundaries. Boundaries help to keep toxic people out. Also, work on your "self-esteem" because toxic people prey on people with low self-esteem.
jon callum agreed, I kinda get tired of the sullotions are all about them. Mental hospital is the answer.
stand your ground
I went trough a divorce already and I don’t want another it’s too painful
I am going to say the mantra
I wish you health and happiness and peace
And what about those who never been through a traumatizing, had a good life, stable support system and still act like this? So many people are rude and toxic because of things like being better than others in terms of social status, wealth..etc, and never had a traumatizing past that makes them the way they are. Also I agree with trying to understand them and help them, but it can only go so far if they refuse to get better and heal, and still continue to act the way they are. Honestly many of the rude/toxic folks/bigots just need to go from this world.
My sister is negetive and border line bi polar she has extremely low self esteem no education no possible way of her being self sufficient ever .Younger brother at 50 this has been going on for 15 years.Im ready to leave and never return.I love my sister but I have had it.
A couple of communication skills I've naturally developed and used are: 1) Empathy. I express a similar or exact experience wherein the opposing party can learn, perhaps, knowledge of their conflict and apply this new knowledge to their situation, and 2) Repeat back to them what problem they just expressed to you. Example: "A" says, "I had a terrible day today taking public transportation", "B" says, "Oh, public transportation was pretty awful today, huh? I've found these to be really helpful to stir away negative energy.
Awesome :)
Saying i am sorry you feel that way only makes people more angry as it is a non apology
You make my day Bea. Thank you - I'm so grateful for your wisdom. It's working.
Awesome Ramona!! I'm so pleased to share this with you, and to be connected. Thanks for being a part of our Pinch Me Living community. Love, B
Have watched a few of your vids. Really finding your perspective helpful, and clarifying! Great concise appropriate and kind advice - thanks!
:) Great to hear, thanks Jennifer! Best wishes, B
Understanding that the real enemy is "negative toxic energy" itself, is indeed a powerful tool at our disposal.
The nasty person is just a vehicle that the negative energy is coming out from.
And the best way to cancel negative energy is indeed by making use and immersing ourselves in positive energy.
The best way to cancel hatred is the use of Love.
So when you genuinely wish love, health and happiness for that nasty person you are using the most effective tool to prevent their negativity affecting you.
That is why Jesus said: "Bless those that curse you."
Mat 5 : 43-47
You are adorable! Great view. Have a lovely day, B. 😃
Aw, thanks Kaitlynn! Appreciate your sweet message and positive energy. Have an awesome weekend. Love, B (Ps. yes that view is beautiful right?!)
Great Mam
Thank you for your guidance
I am surrounded with toxic family members
Hey Priyanka, I have another vid you might find useful, on dealing with difficult family members. 💛 B
This is good advice for random rudeness but not repeated rudeness which = bullying which = abuse = evil and requires avoidance, removal from interaction or relationship, separation, and a generally different strategy.
Yes, situations of repeated toxicity, beyond someone being rude, eg bullying, abuse, require mechanisms to keep oneself safe, boundaries, leaving a relationship, conflict management. Thank you. 😊
how to avoid rude people ? simple , leave the netherlands ....
I always thought people were nice people from holland but ive always just been a tourist passing through. Alot of rude pple there?
I did. Tense.
It's everywhere now, the world has lost its manners 💔💔💔 those who still try are perceived as weak
We're in the world have you've been all my struggling years !!! Amazing teaching ! How u learn this stuff about humans ?? Man U are so good !!! Thank you !!!
Glad to share the learning with you Crystal! B :)
I am mostly just amused that they think they actually matter in some way.
Wow my mom is like that toxic as hell trying to always set me off on basic necessities family in general are toxic
There is a lot of rude and fake people in the world! This video really helps! Thank you!
Glad this was helpful Ashley 😊
As I listen to this video I learn something new each time, awesome! Practicing the meditation part and I feel empowered! Thanks again!
YAY, go you!! Empowerment all the way :)
Thank you so much! I have a friend just like this, this REALLY helped. I can tell you are a professional because your expression is highly eloquent and perceptive. Thank you.
Glad this was useful and resonated. Thanks for your kind words 😊💜 B
for the next topic can you please reverse the equation and make a video on how to stop being toxic and rude to other colleagues at work
Aha!! Yes it is always good to look at things from both angles, of how to deal with difficult people but also how to not be difficult ourselves. Let me know what most triggers you, and we'll see if we have resources already available to support you. We have loads of vids and audios, as well as articles/blogs/free classes (on www.pinchmeliving.com) etc for helping you to be peaceful, compassionate, respond to difficult environments, deal with stress, get through overwhelm, start the day with positive energy, manage your mindset etc So let me know what your issue is that causes you to be rude to others at work - be as specific as you can, and I'll refer you to the right resources, or if it's something new we haven't addressed before we can look at scheduling the topic in for future vids. Thanks Joseph! B :)
i was the victim of toxic people and i am rude and toxic when my emotional damn breaks
Great video. Will help many. Thanks for sharing your gifts "for the greater good". Looking forward to more watch all of your videos.
Awesome, glad to share it with you!
Thank you very much for this brilliant and level-headed information.
I am a partner in a family business situation, and at the quarterly meetings, my older cousin (who oversees the business) TOTALLY ignores me. He focuses solely on the others there, and does not even make eye contact with me. Although we are cousins, I have never known him very well, so talking to him about his obvious hostility toward me really isnt an option for me.
I have decided I will no longer attend these meetings as I refuse to allow him to dismiss me and overlook me as if I am a non-entity. It is very hurtful, and not warranted, as I KNOW I have never done anything to him but treat him with respect.
I feel better now, knowing I will no longer be in his toxic presence. Self-care is very important, and I believe if we are in an untenable situation that makes us feel badly about ourselves, truly the ONLY thing to do is to remove ourselves from any future interactions with the offending party, and move on with our chins up, and our heads held high.
Again, thank you very much for your work, and your wanting to help people feel better about themselves, and their lives. It is very much appreciated.
Thanks for sharing your situation and insights. 😊👍
Wow! This was a great video, abundant with so many tips. We need more videos like this, spreading positivity to everyone. Thank you!
Thanks for tuning in Jason, and for your positive words. 💛 Wishing you the best! B
I have ptsd , mostly due to horrible bullying from older people when i was younger. commonly , most older people use their wisdom to hurt others instead of encourage and inspire. I've learned this much , and whenever I am reflecting on someone's rudeness I counter the thought so i can break the pattern. you literally have to stop yourself and say " hold on, im not going to think about this person right now" ... because if you let them , you will think about them during times when you are trying to enjoy yourself . the best way to get back at them is to complain to their superior . as those complaints grow on their reord they will be closer to getting fired, especially if they work in customer services. if the rude person is your supervisor you have to find a new job or change your behavior so they will approve of you.
Thanks for the awesome advice. I need to keep this in mind. 👍👍
You're so welcome Marcus. Thanks for your message.
I need to cut him off and say
Don’t talk to me that way
And then go away because
It’s too painful
But I end up pleading because I can’t stand the rejection
Hi Rosa, there are other videos that might be helpful for you on the channel. Including about how to deal with feeling rejected, and people criticizing, being judged, feeling good enough in oneself, standing up for oneself and more. I hope those may be useful. Love, B
Thank you for your wisdom..
..Now I understand that, thers unconscious mind create cry of fear or pain , which is pushed at me..and wishing them well is the key..
:)
Really glad I saw this but wish I saw this earlier due to a housemate issue. Thank you 🙏
Glad this was helpful and wishing you well. B 💖
Awesome advice B, Thanks!
You're welcome! Have a great weekend. B
This is such a helpful video! I'm so glad that I found this video.🌷
Glad to share this with you :)
Honestly you should not wish them health and happiness - you’re just focusing on them even more
Best thing is to cut them out and realize it’s their fault that they are being themselves and has nothing do to with you even if they try to convince you it’s your fault. Stop being so concerned with how they are doing and appeasing them because they will never be happy anyway. And you can’t change that- It’s more internal than external.
Love this video, it's really helpful! Thank you!
A pleasure! Have a great week ahead.
Thanks for these strategy's... hmmm just affirms I'm on the right road but...
43 yrs married...still struggling..., done them all but nothing not a single behaviour has changed....only gets worse with time but hmmm now trying the last strategy of prayers and God's devine intervention 🙏
Thx for the vid. Though it's mostly for very mild and unvolontary toxic people. I've done these tips years before hearing them, here, and it's always nice to know that there are people out there who have the same position concerning these people. I do have to say though, after years of experience day in day out with extreemly toxic or covert narcissistic people, these things do not help. ALAS! I'm very sorry to have to state that when a person is extreemly rude etc., to you, the best thing is to give them their poison back!! Really. (Afcourse, just very briefly, but concise and firmly) . They suddenly wake up! They are in shock, and say or show so. And often walk away after. Sad, but true. I hate having to do that, but it's very effective.
Thanks for sharing your experience Ambriel. Sending you best wishes! Bernadette
There is some realism to that unfortunately, no contact is often best move. Office politics are tricky though.
this was THE video & channel i’ve needed for a long time. much love x
Hi Chelsea, welcome to our community. Glad the resources resonate. 💛
I try to deal with my grandmother but she's too toxic for me I can't help it and my mother can't deal with her act either she's a evil witch
Great video.. thank you for sharing. So helpful. You are so inspirational. Bless your soul
Blessings back to you! B
Thanks for your kind reply B!
I still wonder how some people can be rude to others. It makes me sad...isn't it easier to be kind and compassionate?
Yes you'd think it's easier to be kind. But when you have pain inside, sometimes it's actually not that easy. Pain is such a strong energy and often times people don't know how to cope with it. It comes blurting out! :)
This is a fantastic video. So accurate and it works. Thank you
😊💛
wow that was amazing it made my day really, this is how to behave like a legit adult! thank you so much wish you happiness.
💖💞💖
Great stuff, thanks. I will try it!
Great! Let me know how you get on!
Your words are fantastic. Executing the techniques ? Are so difficult for me.
I am dealing with your example #2. OBNOXIOUSLY arrogant, impatient, self centered, zero self control.
Zero emotional intelligence, with emotional immaturity being through the roof.
I hear you. It can be so testing to deal with all of that! I have a playlist on dealing with difficult people on subtopics and related topics like communication so check those out if you're looking for extra angles and tips. Love, B
This video is so on point. I encounter some many people's that are not aware of their negative patterns. And how rude and nasty they are. It will be challenging but I will try theses techniques for me.
🤗👍
Thanks my cousin made me feel depressed but now I'll ask him
Welcome, Bernadette! I enjoy your vids. Good stuff. Keep it up. Thx.
Glad to hear that! Thanks for being part of our community, B
Oh my god so true
Thank you!
God bless your soul, I seem to be going through another phase once again in life with rude people that is unavoidable... Another test, first good advice video I've found on RUclips today and I've been searching desperately... Thank you so much God bless you. Positive reenforcement, some of what you said I already know but felt is not helping and was considering abandoning because it doesn't help with the pain of enduring, but it is good advice, its the best advice 🌹
Wishing you well. Peace, B 💛
Thank you so much. Helped a lot!
You're welcome!! B 💖
Just found your site.
Your last suggestion was the TOPS. Excellent way to face the situation, of having to deal with toxic people. For myself, I do my best to remove myself from the toxic situation.
Keep up the go work.
🤗👍
Thanks a lot, its really nice and practical approach. I have tried this today and managed not to loose my temper. 🙏
🧡🌟🧡
Loved your insights. I will be using these in my daily life. Thank you!😊
🤗 glad the tips were useful for you. 💫 B
You are my favourite youtuber ever! I am so happy I've found you!
Awww, you're so sweet. Welcome!! Delighted you're here. 💕
These days people are more focused on themselves and have less time for people and lack respect . They might be rude or snobby because they are not thinking about people's feelings. Or because it boost their egos being superior and conceited. By making snide jokes at people's expense and being disrespectful. It's best to keep it polite with people you are not friends with. And don't talk to people if you have a reason no talk to them. Because a lot of people dont want to make the effort of being friendly and will be annoyed if you waste their time. Dont overshare your thoughts and feelings to avoid people being disrespectful or just dismiss what you say if they are not interested in what you are saying if people are inconsiderate just say excuse me or say lets keep it polite or say mind your manners. Avoid drama if people are inconsiderate they are showing their true self. A lot of people these days love drama to boost their egos and be the centre of attention and like making a fool out of people. Or they will enjoy getting rid of people and power trip the person if you provoke them. A lot of people are so narcissistic they like feeding their egos to get narcissistic supply to feel important. People now act like the world revolves around them. Dont take inconsiderate people seriously that's what they want. Think whatever who cares they just want to ego trip it's their behaviour their problem. When you are around self absorbed people it's best to be polite and respectable and sensible and do the right thing. Because they love making drama and love to criticize and belittle and laugh at people to feel better about themselves too boost their egos. Considered people are usually more emotionally mature and sympathetic and are in tune with people's feelings. And will respect people's feelings because they don't want to hurt people's feelings and be inconsiderate. Because they are in tune with people's feelings and will feel bad if they upset people. Or will feel sorry for people if they are upset. They wont be snobby or be quick to judge people they might think she has problems or she's having a bad day. Self absorbed people love acting like they are better and perfect but they usually lack respect because they are not thinking about people's feelings. Its all about them.
Thank you so much for sharing.
You're very welcome! 😊
Here is one example of real life incidents. I have a colleague, who is half-deaf, slow and understands only a few words in English. One day she was working with an optical device, and I asked with a whispering voice if she was going to finish soon, as I was going to need it rest of the day. She snapped, “No, no.”. I said with a smile, “Take your time. No hurry.” I had other things to do in the meantime anyway. Unfortunately, she didn’t understand the expression “Take your time”; she had no idea what “No hurry” means. In response, she gave me an obnoxious look with bunched eyebrows and barked, “Whatttttt?” Later she complained to my boss that, I was being rude to her. There was absolutely no witness, so my boss took her side, not mine. I was speechless, and I have never been able to correct my boss’s impression about me until today, and this incident still keeps haunting me, even though it was about 2 years ago.
Always hold to the truth in your heart... that you know you didn't do anything wrong. So long as you know, that's the most important thing. We can tell the truth, be kind, be patient, explain what really happened, and ask others to understand but we can't control their paradigm and how they interpret. Keep being your best self 💖🌸💖
Reading your reply, I got peaceful sleep for the first time in a long long time 😴😴😴 💚💚💚 I cannot thank you enough
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I am a university lecturer. There is this one student in my class that is constantly rude towards me. I do not know the reason for that. But they are just too damn nasty.
Thankyou very much. Your talks are very clear. I like the way you arrange things in practical steps.
You're welcome Sarah! B 🤗
Thankyou good information and guidance.
😊👍
Grey rocking the narcissist's negativity then return positive narc. supply so that the narc will turn their hatefulness on to someone less skilled.
you know, with all the toxic people I have been around threw-out my whole life, and there have been many-many of them, I have come to understand that they have shown me that I am a pretty nice person
😊👍🧡
@@Bernadette_Logue , thank you!
Excellent, thank you!
You're welcome! :)
millions of love.thanx.
Love back to you! B
God, how much I love your advices. Thank you. You save our lives
Glad this was helpful! 😊
God Bless You !
Blessings back to you!
Very helpful! love your video
Hey Malou, glad this was helpful. Best wishes, B
Hey 👋 nice 👍 commentary thanks 👍 i need to hear this silence is the best solution to a fool.
A solid right hook.
Thank you so helpful
You're welcome! 😊 B
Run like the wind.
I love that you brought up the course in miracles, its rare to hear it mentioned
💗 love ACIM!
Great advice thankyou 😊👍💕
💛👍
Thank you! I needed this! 😗😗
😊👍