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Yeah also the part about a lady conquering a man listen when we woman want a man we go after what we want versus when we don’t want it me and now humus and met a while ago we were almost there different paths at the time and after 5 years of no contact I decided to reach out to him and here we are 11 months after married what wrong with going after what you want people always are wins should not do this or that I underhand if a guy is a crap and have no interest whatsoever in you then I agree but if you let ego or society tell you what’s right or wrong you’ll never be happy
Had a man show consistent effort. Calling, planning dates, introducing me to his family / people, bringing me to his work party..one day snap of a finger he said he’s not ready. I pray we can all heal from what brings people to places like this. God bless
I rode the bus into downtown one time for work many years ago, and gave the bus driver my number. Weeks go by and he doesn’t call. I ride the bus into work another day and he was the driver. So as I go to get off he explains that the piece of paper I wrote my number on blew out the window and he didn’t have it anymore. He asked for it again, and we went on to date for several years.
Normal is the natural instinct for a man to chase a woman, not the other way around. The “game” is easy if you’re standing firm in your polarity roles.
@@vibrantmelon No wonder why divorce rates are so high and 75% of divorce are initiated by women....you choose the man who chased you and not the man you actually wanted therefore you end up with an unfulfilled marriage/commitment in your heart being in a relationship with someone who chased you but you don't like that person as much as the dudes who didn't chase you. Note, it's automatic to *not* find someone who chased you attractive, that's why most women like big celebrities like Chris Brown, Denzel Washington, Bradd Pitt, Tom Cruise, etc because women naturally know those men would never chase them.
Doesn’t make any sense. You’ve NEVER called a man first but will if you really like him? But men need to feel wanted? Walking contradiction. So you’re saying you’ve gone your whole life without genuinely liking a man? Sad imo.
I can't believe we're here, GROWN- GROWN and playing games. Miss the days BEFORE the first heart break, followed by yeaaaaaaaars of insecurities, trust issues, unfaithfulness, and for some abuse. Not supposed to be THIS disheartening. So many folks out here single and not finding one another. 🙏
Your channel helped me get the courage to leave my abusive relationship one year ago, and is helping me now. Please keep posting videos on self love, relationships, and feminine energy.
When I first read the title...I thought to myself "This doesn't sound like something Stephan would say. Can't be..." LOL. Anyways, another great video! My takeaways are as follows: 1. Women and men have been given A LOT of unhealthy dating advice over they years. However, I do think SOME of the advice that I've heard over the years IS legit. 2. Just be your true and authentic self, quirkiness and all! The right man will love it and will eventually love you! 3. If you like a man, present your interest and call him if you have his number. You can't call him if you don't have his number. If you given him your number, then it's up to him to call. Set a time limit because you're not obligated to wait around. 4. Cut the crap with the game playing. I can't stand that. That's a complete waste of time and energy. Last, and it goes back to point number two...Again, just be yourself. Sometimes I find myself worrying about things that haven't even happened or may not ever happen. For example: Does the man like me? Do I meet his expectations?, Am I pretty enough? I've come to the conclusion that I can't worry about any of that. I have to replace self doubt with self confidence! All can do is concentrate on being the best that I can be and seek God's guidance in the dating process.
You say you can't stand the games but in the next side of your mouth you say if the man has your number he should call first, that's a game right there. How about being a human being and being normal by calling if you want to call and don't call if you don't want to.
@@kylefrisby I can't stand game playing and I stand on that. In addition, that is not what I said. In point number 3, the FIRST thing I said was call him "if" you have his number and then I listed possible scenarios. How about...
Hello Stephan, this is your sis from India, I don't have a brother or father, and tbh I have dealt with a lot of bs ,its been scary a lot and with no one giving advice, it was getting hard to trust and honestly, I had almost given up on the idea of ever "being in love". but since I came upon your videos brother, I'm nothing but thankful to God and you. The more Im watching your helpful videos, the more Im becoming fearless and open to life. Thank you, brother, for guiding me, thanks for making me introduce to my original self again♥ God bless you🙏
@MinaKurami9866 Please visit an SDA Church. You won’t regret going there, I promise you. 🙏🏼 Next Saturday morning about 9 or 10AM, I say “9 or 10” because not all churches open at same time depending on locations.
The only person you're playing in these games to gain leverage is yourself! Women being mysterious, men treating women like fans ends in everyone being anxious, single and eating chips on a Friday night lol! Be your authentic self, thrive off of reciprocity and consistency. Thanks for breaking this down Stefan!
Hi Stephan, I found you by accident a few months ago... and I'd like to say "Thank You" for your videos. I am 47 yrs old, divorced, and currently single, and I very much appreciate the messages that you put out regularly. I agree with pretty much everything you say, and I hope that I can become the woman that the right man is looking for! With Love, from the west coast of Canada!💜
Thank you very much for saying "It's not the action, but the person. He just isn't it!" It's really that simple. Yet, all "psychologists" and "coaches" blame women for wrong behaviour.
I will never take away a man's God-given right/role to pursue. The same men who listen to advice telling them not to call first are the same men who say they desire a "feminine" woman. Calling a man first takes me out of my feminine spot. I leave the calling first to him. I have other ways to show him that I'm interested, but I need him to take the lead. 🙏🏾❤️
Right. That is my opinion too. Especially since I don’t really like calling ppl anyways. Unless I know forsure that we can talk on the phone comfortably and we have established more of a rapport for my comfort level.
EXACTLY!! And this is NOT me playing a "game" either. The problem is too many women are so THIRSTY and DESPERATE for a man that they become way too aggressive in their approach. And guess what? A handsome "player" friend of mine told me this. He said at first it's appealing because it strokes the man's ego. But afterwards it's too much because the "pursuit" is taken away then the interest wanes. Let's listen and heed ladies...
@@thisisHowHedidit Right! It's not about playing a game at all. I'm just giving him space to be a man. Pursuing a man will never be my spot. Staying in my lane...
I love this guy! You are so well-spoken. You know how to deliver your points in such a logical way. Honestly, you are helping me to see things from a different perspective. I found your channel about two months ago and you keep me coming back!
Love your videos. We were in NC for 8 months and it was the hardest and miserable time of my life. I decided to call him, reach out first and boy was our thoughts on why we broke up was different, during an argument we say things and messages get mixed up. We have slowly started to talk and connect. But i think you dont have to wait for the man to reach out. Everyone situation is different . I did what made me happy, my heart doesn't understand whos right or wrong.
I must admit I'm out of the dating loop. I would only date intentionally. I appreciate you assisting in navigating these changes towards meeting the one. Great video❣️🔥🔥🔥
Forget the past and live up to the future Try and think positively when dating Most importantly be your dam self always Coach Steph thos vodeo deserves an award Never forget let go and let GOD
I dated a guy for a few months very consistent always concerned about my feelings we actually talked about everything very open great communication dates and everything very good chemistry, beliefs,etc never changed up then all of a sudden he just disappeared and never looked back
You got me Stephan 😂😂😂,with that title... thought you were switching up on me! "Present my interest!"..... I love ❤ this video, one of your best videos yet! Very Accurate....
Great video you are on point 😊. I was happy to hear your message it’s just games. If you want to call a man 1st just do it. It’s about having a healthy relationship
Thank u. I feel i've wasted a lot of time on too many guys . They give me the number and dry responses . OR he ask for my number but will not call...now busy🤷🏿They are very confusing for me.
Long post. Sorry. Ok so there’s this drummer at my church. I never really payed attention to him until he started smiling at my kids and waving to them during service when he plays. That’s when I started really looking at him. Before that after service he would be on his phone near me but I would move away cuz idk what he was doing just standing there. One Sunday I was really staring at him and he looked at me, I felt embarrassed and looked the other way fast. After church he hugged me that day and said how are you etc… so he consistently smiles at me when he gets to church and makes it known to say hi to me and hugs me after church. No big conversation. If we’re outside leaving he waits for me to come outside first before he drives off just so he can say bye to me outside too. He’s also helped me bring my kids to the car. He’s very sweet with my kids at church and helps me sometimes if the kids are acting up etc. he’s the only guy in the church that does this. He has kids also but they don’t go to the church. He’s also nice with everyone else and gives everyone occasional hugs too when leaving. He’s a friendly person. So this went on for maybe 5 months and I finally asked him for his number cuz I’m like is he scared or what idk. I texted him during the week and told him I know we don’t talk that much in church but I’m interested. He said he has had his eye on me but he also talks to someone else. I asked if he’s dating or just talking he said talking. I said ok I don’t let people make me a choice to them. He’s always happy and smiles big when he sees me at church and continues to hug me and is nice, very sweet. So this is confusing. It’s annoying at times. Im the one that initiated the next text messages and he has said sorry he’s always busy at work etc and he’s working on responding back to people better. Whatever but I swear this dudes eyes will light up when he sees me and hugs me tight and compliments me. It’s just weird and annoying and I’m trying to not let my feelings get the best of me. But when he approaches me at church my feelings just flutter for him. I’ve prayed about it and I’m fasting about it. I’m not going to initiate and message or call first. He has said I’m Glad you reached out when I text him. Flirting text. Kissy faces and hearts in texts. We are both divorced. Idk if he just enjoys seeing me at church and that’s it so idk. I’m also working on myself. I would have never asked him for his number if I didn’t feel it would not be something. It took a lot in me just to ask for his number at the right time when no one was around us. If you read all this thank you.
Big congratulations on your foundation, Stephan! I love how there's always some extra/bonus point(s) at the end of your video. My question is, how did society get to this unhealthy place of gamifiying human relations?
I literally just blocked a guy I was dating because he doesn’t call. I know he works away from home on the road but I know he can call sometimes and the crazy thing is I feel like he really likes me. But it makes me sad so I’ve decided to let it go.
If he doesn't call, he doesn't like you like that, unless you're leaving something out of your comment. Men who like you and want to deal with you WILL CALL. Period!
@@Night_Zero6 What you said makes NO SENSE! 👎 What's "obviously not true"? Do you know her full story, because what's so obvious in what she said regarding his interest? Comprehension is fundamental ☹. Come back when you re-read her comment.
If he can't man up enough to initiate the first call, what else can he not man up to do? Oftentimes, what you start off accepting sets the pace for the rest of the relationship.
Why don't you womanup and call. Look at it that way, I know a woman who married a man who she really wanted because she proposed to him but told him to tell people that he proposed to her. That man is an extremely successful man he most likely would have never proposed to her, however she took the initiative and got what she wanted, now she comfortable.
Ladies, these feelings of uneasiness and confusion can be alleviated by simply asking a man when the best time to call would be as you request his phone number. Whether you ask if that is tonight, tomorrow, the weekend, or all three, the ball is then in his court to respond; therefore, it removes the guessing game for you. Simple communication does not have to be nerve-wracking; never be afraid to ask clarifying questions about concepts you are unsure of, no matter what the situation. You could also call and respectfully ask when he's available to talk, then follow-up with if he'd like to converse in-person instead. That way you'll have an idea of what works best for both of your calendars AND you may even be able to walk around on a cloud with smiles for a while because you'll know when you'll get to see him in person again, lol😉. Let's stop playing love games and know that a man who genuinely wants to know you will always want you to feel comfort and no shame in his presence - whether that's in-person or over the phone. As women, we must learn that it's okay to communicate so ridiculous concepts like these do not create barriers and missed opportunities that we ultimately regret never fulfilling. Blessings lovelies ❤😘
I think just be respectful. Be conscious of the balance - make sure he reaches out to you as often as reach out to him. But you shouldn't be pushing nor should he be constantly have to push it should not be all one way
Thanks Stephan for the clarity. I see nothing wrong with reaching out to share contact info when I'm interested in him,but I only give one week, several days to respond otherwise I gather I'm too forward or he's not interested. No big expectations, other than a Hi and a gentle sentiment of interest or not if we can connect in the near future.😊❤
I needed to hear this, the guy is the problem not the action. I really do reflect on my actions to see if I did something wrong. I was having a normal flow conversation with a guy I started chatting to, he asked me questions and he mentioned how his cousins went to turkey and loved it and settled and I just ask would you ever want to move to another country? And if so where and why? (That was just to see a side of his personality?) He responded this feels like an interview! I was thinking wtf, I asked 1 question connected to our conversation. So he has asked about my family size, where I am in the tree ect, so I said yes it's feels the same here. The he couldn't take it himself and said something about may be we shouldn't force it if thats how it feels? I didn't even bother replying. I really did feel it was pathetic for him to say that, and I just didn't bother after that
always so full of great insight stephan, thanks for delineating healthy v unhealthy. you're definitely gifted at seeing these things & i'm grateful you're sharing these. it takes weights off people's shoulders and helps us to be free to be ourselves more.
If a guy really likes u calling him first he willl be like hallelujah He,s not gonna paint a negative picture on a positive action Ladies it all sums up to who is interested and who s not Stephan you are my number one coach foreever My search is over,ive found you God bless you
i am not a big texter...i like phone calls...but i do not need 24/7 calls as i am not available 24/7. when in a true relationship i feel free to call my guy if i need to call him...if he does not answer i leave a message for a return call and the urgency of my call. in the beginning i will not call first...my daddy told me when a man is interested in you he will come to you and it is true...men will approach me and i am always open and friendly...if he calls me i will answer...if he wants to go out i will go out...but i never look at a man off the bat as the 'one' i like to take my time and talk to others as i believe in having options. your videos are helpful.
At the very end of the day, if a man wants you he will call you and pursue you. That’s has been the case for my whole life, speaking from having successfull relationships. Marriage. Men love to pursue…. You can weed them out if they only want to tap….
I agree with you brother! I’m not playing no games at this age! I’m grown! It doesn’t matter who calls first in my opinion! Either it is or it isn’t and I’m okay either way!
Rebuilding that trust is a process and requires practice, but communication is the key and essential to any successful relationship. He will have to love her back to him. They can have a nice car and sit in it, but without fueling it, it will not go anywhere. If they are trusting God, faith without works in dead.🙏🏼
I really like this. I’ve felt guilty about all those dating advice pieces since I chose to go the other way. If I don’t text him, I go crazy, so I end up texting him, even though it goes against all the advice on the internet 🤣 And if he can’t handle my daily messages, then, GOOD TO KNOW!!
I did this one time during college. He was a server I used to see regularly at the cafe and I left my digits on the table. He called the next day lol. It’s great strategy if he’s interested but I would proceed with caution now a days for it not to get into the wrong hands.
Hey Stephan, I genuinely enjoy your videos and think you give smart, biblical advice. But I think this video missed the mark because it’s a bit unbalanced. It automatically marks a woman who doesn’t want to make the first call as someone who is playing games. However, many of us are just being who we are …. A woman who wants the man to be The Man and call us first. What, you can smile and laugh and flirt, ask for my number, and then suddenly you’re nervous and scared about calling? No. I’m looking for a strong man who can and will take the lead, because he might one day be the head of my household. And he can’t make the first call? It’s a turnoff for me. I’m 53, so maybe that has a lot to do with it. Men my age were not raised to wait on a woman to call. They had to approach a girl in school if they liked her. They had to ask her to the school dance or the prom. They had to call the house and risk getting the dad on the phone. They had to FACE the dad when they picked the girl up for a date. I’m not discounting that men have it rough and that they can be nervous. But they grew up having to do the hard things. Now that we’re seasoned adults they can’t overcome their fear enough to make the call after getting the green light to do so? No. I’m just not attracted to a guy like that. I can forgive the guys in my daughter’s generation for being like this; they don’t know any better. But my generation knows better and has just gotten lazy. Part of it is because it’s easier nowadays to find a woman who will just take charge and do all the calling, planning, etc. I know that makes it harder for me to find the man I’m looking for, but all I need is one. 😊
@Cynthiatucker4065 I agree with you 💯 %. Most times when we make the first move we are told we're being masculine. The dating scene today is confusing.
I was wrestling with this exact thing today and prayed about what to do, and this video popped up. It was exactly what I needed. 🙌🏼 Thank you and God bless🙏🏼
Dealing with this right now. I’ve just decided to let go. I’m tired of trying to figure out what’s what and being sad because of the lack of communication. It’s not making me happy I have to let it go. Even though I really feel like he likes me, it’s too draining.
Hi Stephan, as a dating coach, do you see games, tactics, manipulations, etc decrease with age? I'm 36. I do not want to deal with some of these immature things.
I believe the older men play games just as much as the younger men and it’s sad. Older doesnt not mean mature… it actually may mean they have already been broken and damaged goods.
You will think, but unfortunately this can continue…. Because some men are still out there doing everything they can to share their erection with everyone else because of the fear of losing it… not that they have to lose it but they want to make sure that they got it. What better else to do than sleeping with different women to make themselves feel younger. Despite that being in a healthy relationship is the fountain of youth 💚💚💚💚
Stephen we are at different levels of feelings and the imbalance is painful for me, he is interested but I am deeply in love so I broke up with him because I don’t want to feel like this. I don’t know if I did the right thing I just wanted the pain to stop
You said it right I wish everyone just stop playing games and the dating process and relationship..because I don’t play games at all and I’m sure not an actress either ..I just want a man who play games ❤❤❤
It's your style that draws me in it's your smile that God ordained that keeps me here it's your messages that let me know I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be😊 #Proverbs31woman
To get inspirational messages, bonus content, personalized videos, and more to keep you in a positive mindset, join my special text club here 👉 www.messagesfromstephan.com
Great video 😊
I am not in fb. Is there another possibility to contact you?
@@bettinabecker182 yes. Any suggestions? Let mW know
When you feel as though you are 'drowning' in life situations, don't worry! Your lifeguard walks on water!
🙏 ❤️
Love this!
Amen, that’ll preach!❤
Amen to this!! 🙌🏾 👏🏽 ❤️ 🙏🏽
❤
“Call when you wanna call.” That was so unbelievably liberating to hear. Let’s get back to being ourselves ❤️
Indeed, it really helps when we embrace that.
Being ourselves 👏🏼👏🏼 that part 🙌🏼👌🏼 lol
Agree
Yeah also the part about a lady conquering a man listen when we woman want a man we go after what we want versus when we don’t want it me and now humus and met a while ago we were almost there different paths at the time and after 5 years of no contact I decided to reach out to him and here we are 11 months after married what wrong with going after what you want people always are wins should not do this or that I underhand if a guy is a crap and have no interest whatsoever in you then I agree but if you let ego or society tell you what’s right or wrong you’ll never be happy
Love this!
Had a man show consistent effort. Calling, planning dates, introducing me to his family / people, bringing me to his work party..one day snap of a finger he said he’s not ready. I pray we can all heal from what brings people to places like this. God bless
May God heal you
Going through the same right now
what really works😢
I rode the bus into downtown one time for work many years ago, and gave the bus driver my number. Weeks go by and he doesn’t call. I ride the bus into work another day and he was the driver. So as I go to get off he explains that the piece of paper I wrote my number on blew out the window and he didn’t have it anymore. He asked for it again, and we went on to date for several years.
There are too many rules and games. Once people stop overthinking and be normal, their life will be so much easier.
Exactly
We have lost touch with "normal"
Normal is the natural instinct for a man to chase a woman, not the other way around. The “game” is easy if you’re standing firm in your polarity roles.
Easier said than done! Lol but I’m working on it.
@@vibrantmelon No wonder why divorce rates are so high and 75% of divorce are initiated by women....you choose the man who chased you and not the man you actually wanted therefore you end up with an unfulfilled marriage/commitment in your heart being in a relationship with someone who chased you but you don't like that person as much as the dudes who didn't chase you. Note, it's automatic to *not* find someone who chased you attractive, that's why most women like big celebrities like Chris Brown, Denzel Washington, Bradd Pitt, Tom Cruise, etc because women naturally know those men would never chase them.
Without connection and a strong foundation a relationship is not going to work.
Men need to feel wanted too.. I've never called a man first, but i don't frown at it and will surely do if i really like him.
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate that ❤️
Doesn’t make any sense.
You’ve NEVER called a man first but will if you really like him? But men need to feel wanted? Walking contradiction. So you’re saying you’ve gone your whole life without genuinely liking a man? Sad imo.
@@bartpimpson4492men change lovers every week so it's fine. They need to try harder to feel wanted
Exactly
I can't believe we're here, GROWN- GROWN and playing games.
Miss the days BEFORE the first heart break, followed by yeaaaaaaaars of insecurities, trust issues, unfaithfulness, and for some abuse.
Not supposed to be THIS disheartening.
So many folks out here single and not finding one another.
🙏
It definitely isn't an easy situation, but the focus needs to be on doing what is truly best 🙏
True
Your channel helped me get the courage to leave my abusive relationship one year ago, and is helping me now. Please keep posting videos on self love, relationships, and feminine energy.
Glad I could help. That's a great suggestions, I will add it to my list to get it done!
When I first read the title...I thought to myself "This doesn't sound like something Stephan would say. Can't be..." LOL. Anyways, another great video! My takeaways are as follows: 1. Women and men have been given A LOT of unhealthy dating advice over they years. However, I do think SOME of the advice that I've heard over the years IS legit. 2. Just be your true and authentic self, quirkiness and all! The right man will love it and will eventually love you! 3. If you like a man, present your interest and call him if you have his number. You can't call him if you don't have his number. If you given him your number, then it's up to him to call. Set a time limit because you're not obligated to wait around. 4. Cut the crap with the game playing. I can't stand that. That's a complete waste of time and energy. Last, and it goes back to point number two...Again, just be yourself. Sometimes I find myself worrying about things that haven't even happened or may not ever happen. For example: Does the man like me? Do I meet his expectations?, Am I pretty enough? I've come to the conclusion that I can't worry about any of that. I have to replace self doubt with self confidence! All can do is concentrate on being the best that I can be and seek God's guidance in the dating process.
EXCELLENT, EXCELLENT comment! 👌
@@marciawade9101Thank you!
You say you can't stand the games but in the next side of your mouth you say if the man has your number he should call first, that's a game right there. How about being a human being and being normal by calling if you want to call and don't call if you don't want to.
@@kylefrisby I can't stand game playing and I stand on that. In addition, that is not what I said. In point number 3, the FIRST thing I said was call him "if" you have his number and then I listed possible scenarios. How about...
Hello Stephan, this is your sis from India, I don't have a brother or father, and tbh I have dealt with a lot of bs ,its been scary a lot and with no one giving advice, it was getting hard to trust and honestly, I had almost given up on the idea of ever "being in love". but since I came upon your videos brother, I'm nothing but thankful to God and you. The more Im watching your helpful videos, the more Im becoming fearless and open to life. Thank you, brother, for guiding me, thanks for making me introduce to my original self again♥ God bless you🙏
Glad I could help and may God bless you as well and don't forget to share so that others can receive love, healing and clarity 🙏
@MinaKurami9866 Please visit an SDA Church. You won’t regret going there, I promise you. 🙏🏼 Next Saturday morning about 9 or 10AM, I say “9 or 10” because not all churches open at same time depending on locations.
I’m so glad you did this because I was just questioning if I should call. Now I’m definitely bout to call
I'm happy this has been helpful to you 🙏
The only person you're playing in these games to gain leverage is yourself! Women being mysterious, men treating women like fans ends in everyone being anxious, single and eating chips on a Friday night lol!
Be your authentic self, thrive off of reciprocity and consistency. Thanks for breaking this down Stefan!
My pleasure ❤️
But what if we like chips? lol
So, let's be natural, authentic.
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback 🙏
Hi Stephan, I found you by accident a few months ago... and I'd like to say "Thank You" for your videos. I am 47 yrs old, divorced, and currently single, and I very much appreciate the messages that you put out regularly. I agree with pretty much everything you say, and I hope that I can become the woman that the right man is looking for! With Love, from the west coast of Canada!💜
Wish I had these videos when I was 47 I'm 62.... It's too late at 62
@@margiel2180 Ma'am, it's NEVER too late to revamp and do things differently.
Now, go out there and put your BEST foot forward! 😁
🙏 ❤️
🙏 ❤️
Thank you very much for saying "It's not the action, but the person. He just isn't it!" It's really that simple. Yet, all "psychologists" and "coaches" blame women for wrong behaviour.
Great advice! I agree that these games need to stop. People should just communicate instead of making assumptions.
Thank you for your feedback, I appreciate hearing from you ❤️
You have definitely living your calling, you are always on time
Glad to hear that, thank you for your response!
You said to heal, and i agree. Because to be in a relationship you want to have everything clear.
Healing is definitely key ❤ 🙏
I will never take away a man's God-given right/role to pursue. The same men who listen to advice telling them not to call first are the same men who say they desire a "feminine" woman. Calling a man first takes me out of my feminine spot. I leave the calling first to him. I have other ways to show him that I'm interested, but I need him to take the lead. 🙏🏾❤️
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback 🙏
Yes indeed!
Right. That is my opinion too. Especially since I don’t really like calling ppl anyways. Unless I know forsure that we can talk on the phone comfortably and we have established more of a rapport for my comfort level.
EXACTLY!!
And this is NOT me playing a "game" either. The problem is too many women are so THIRSTY and DESPERATE for a man that they become way too aggressive in their approach. And guess what? A handsome "player" friend of mine told me this. He said at first it's appealing because it strokes the man's ego. But afterwards it's too much because the "pursuit" is taken away then the interest wanes. Let's listen and heed ladies...
@@thisisHowHedidit Right! It's not about playing a game at all. I'm just giving him space to be a man. Pursuing a man will never be my spot. Staying in my lane...
I love this guy! You are so well-spoken. You know how to deliver your points in such a logical way. Honestly, you are helping me to see things from a different perspective. I found your channel about two months ago and you keep me coming back!
Glad to hear that, thank you for your response!
Love your videos. We were in NC for 8 months and it was the hardest and miserable time of my life. I decided to call him, reach out first and boy was our thoughts on why we broke up was different, during an argument we say things and messages get mixed up. We have slowly started to talk and connect. But i think you dont have to wait for the man to reach out. Everyone situation is different .
I did what made me happy, my heart doesn't understand whos right or wrong.
'Just Let me Know' ignoring, disregarding definitely a Pet peeve 101 for me! Learning how to give a (lil) grace though in my healing journey.
I must admit I'm out of the dating loop. I would only date intentionally. I appreciate you assisting in navigating these changes towards meeting the one. Great video❣️🔥🔥🔥
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback 🙏
Forget the past and live up to the future
Try and think positively when dating
Most importantly be your dam self always
Coach Steph thos vodeo deserves an award
Never forget let go and let GOD
Thank you for your feedback, I appreciate hearing from you ❤️
Stephan, you literally save my life. Thank you!
I'm happy this has been helpful to you. Don't forget to share so that others can receive love, healing, and clarity ❤ 🙏
I dated a guy for a few months very consistent always concerned about my feelings we actually talked about everything very open great communication dates and everything very good chemistry, beliefs,etc never changed up then all of a sudden he just disappeared and never looked back
Me too!
I will never understand that! Be a man and say something, not disappear without a word. Disrespecful, rude, chicken.
Just like that? Did he even give you an explanation after that or have you called to ask him “what happened.”
I APPRECIATE YOUR ADVICE..THANKS FOR SHARING!!🎉🙏🏽🎉
My pleasure ❤️
C"mon now; tell it, King 👑. Bring transparency to the connection ❤
Most definitely!
This was a Really Great Message!! Thank You ❤
My pleasure ❤️
Love this information, sure was easier being married instead of single and all the games.
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback 🙏
Thanks for opening my eyes ,you are the best.
Glad I could help 🙏
You got me Stephan 😂😂😂,with that title... thought you were switching up on me!
"Present my interest!".....
I love ❤ this video, one of your best videos yet!
Very Accurate....
Thank you for your feedback, I appreciate hearing from you ❤️
😂😂 I had the same thought.
Watching you from Zambia, Southern Africa. You are so right, a compliment hits different depending on who gives it😅
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback 🙏
Great video you are on point 😊. I was happy to hear your message it’s just games. If you want to call a man 1st just do it. It’s about having a healthy relationship
Thank you for sharing your thoughts, I appreciate hearing from you ❤
Thank u. I feel i've wasted a lot of time on too many guys . They give me the number and dry responses . OR he ask for my number but will not call...now busy🤷🏿They are very confusing for me.
I feel you, it definitely isn't an easy situation, but the focus needs to be on doing what is truly best 🙏
Long post. Sorry.
Ok so there’s this drummer at my church. I never really payed attention to him until he started smiling at my kids and waving to them during service when he plays. That’s when I started really looking at him. Before that after service he would be on his phone near me but I would move away cuz idk what he was doing just standing there.
One Sunday I was really staring at him and he looked at me, I felt embarrassed and looked the other way fast. After church he hugged me that day and said how are you etc… so he consistently smiles at me when he gets to church and makes it known to say hi to me and hugs me after church. No big conversation. If we’re outside leaving he waits for me to come outside first before he drives off just so he can say bye to me outside too. He’s also helped me bring my kids to the car.
He’s very sweet with my kids at church and helps me sometimes if the kids are acting up etc. he’s the only guy in the church that does this. He has kids also but they don’t go to the church. He’s also nice with everyone else and gives everyone occasional hugs too when leaving. He’s a friendly person.
So this went on for maybe 5 months and I finally asked him for his number cuz I’m like is he scared or what idk. I texted him during the week and told him I know we don’t talk that much in church but I’m interested. He said he has had his eye on me but he also talks to someone else. I asked if he’s dating or just talking he said talking. I said ok I don’t let people make me a choice to them.
He’s always happy and smiles big when he sees me at church and continues to hug me and is nice, very sweet. So this is confusing. It’s annoying at times. Im the one that initiated the next text messages and he has said sorry he’s always busy at work etc and he’s working on responding back to people better. Whatever but I swear this dudes eyes will light up when he sees me and hugs me tight and compliments me. It’s just weird and annoying and I’m trying to not let my feelings get the best of me. But when he approaches me at church my feelings just flutter for him. I’ve prayed about it and I’m fasting about it. I’m not going to initiate and message or call first. He has said I’m Glad you reached out when I text him. Flirting text. Kissy faces and hearts in texts. We are both divorced.
Idk if he just enjoys seeing me at church and that’s it so idk. I’m also working on myself. I would have never asked him for his number if I didn’t feel it would not be something. It took a lot in me just to ask for his number at the right time when no one was around us.
If you read all this thank you.
Thank you for sharing your experience! Hopefully, it will help others learn from it. I appreciate that 🙏
I agree, game playing is stupid
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback 🙏
You are so right. I realise that Im not really healed yet. Thank you for these wise lessons. It might take another year to be really healed.
I pray that you heal from all that you have been through and be able to keep moving in faith 🙏 ❤️
Big congratulations on your foundation, Stephan!
I love how there's always some extra/bonus point(s) at the end of your video.
My question is, how did society get to this unhealthy place of gamifiying human relations?
I literally just blocked a guy I was dating because he doesn’t call. I know he works away from home on the road but I know he can call sometimes and the crazy thing is I feel like he really likes me. But it makes me sad so I’ve decided to let it go.
🙏 I hope he reaches the point of truly doing what is best.
Well that's no reason to block him then
If he doesn't call, he doesn't like you like that, unless you're leaving something out of your comment.
Men who like you and want to deal with you WILL CALL. Period!
@marciawade9101 that's obviously not true and that statement you said sounds like a teenager would say. But his schedule might not lining up with hers
@@Night_Zero6 What you said makes NO SENSE! 👎
What's "obviously not true"? Do you know her full story, because what's so obvious in what she said regarding his interest?
Comprehension is fundamental ☹. Come back when you re-read her comment.
I just love your word of wisdom. Thank you so much!
My pleasure ❤️
If he can't man up enough to initiate the first call, what else can he not man up to do? Oftentimes, what you start off accepting sets the pace for the rest of the relationship.
Say this louder for the people wayyyyyyy in the back!!!!
Why don't you womanup and call. Look at it that way, I know a woman who married a man who she really wanted because she proposed to him but told him to tell people that he proposed to her. That man is an extremely successful man he most likely would have never proposed to her, however she took the initiative and got what she wanted, now she comfortable.
This reminds me of the other video that you posted awhile back about don't chase him let him chase you 💯💯👍🏽
❤️ 🙂 thank you for watching I appreciate your feedback!
Stephan, You’re on point. Thank you for your great advice!!
My pleasure ❤️
Thank you for your advice, it really has changed my mind on a lot.
Glad to hear that, thank you for your response!
“You start to think the action is the problem, rather the person.” 15:44 . Oo, I had to snap one time for that one 😂😂
Thanks so much for these videos that are so informative!
I'm happy the videos have been helpful to you. Don't forget to share so that others can receive love, healing, and clarity ❤ 🙏
These type of saying sounds like very old school to me! It reminds me of when I was growing up. Thank you Stephan 👏🏾👏🏾🙏🏽💚🙌🏾
Very good information as we get older we hold back a lot, thank you for doing this video. 👍 😊
My pleasure ❤️
I fully agree with you Stephan! I heard all the saying before and I think it's ridiculous! 👏🏾👏🏾🙏🏽💚🙌🏾
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate that ❤️
@@MeetStephanSpeaks you welcome 🙏🏽💚
Thank you for your time and work. Bless you and your lovely family AMIN. NAMASTE
🙏 ❤️
You offer such wisdom. Thank you.
My pleasure ❤️
Good advice…I will always hold this to my heart. 💜
Glad to hear that, thank you for your response!
Ladies, these feelings of uneasiness and confusion can be alleviated by simply asking a man when the best time to call would be as you request his phone number. Whether you ask if that is tonight, tomorrow, the weekend, or all three, the ball is then in his court to respond; therefore, it removes the guessing game for you. Simple communication does not have to be nerve-wracking; never be afraid to ask clarifying questions about concepts you are unsure of, no matter what the situation. You could also call and respectfully ask when he's available to talk, then follow-up with if he'd like to converse in-person instead. That way you'll have an idea of what works best for both of your calendars AND you may even be able to walk around on a cloud with smiles for a while because you'll know when you'll get to see him in person again, lol😉. Let's stop playing love games and know that a man who genuinely wants to know you will always want you to feel comfort and no shame in his presence - whether that's in-person or over the phone. As women, we must learn that it's okay to communicate so ridiculous concepts like these do not create barriers and missed opportunities that we ultimately regret never fulfilling. Blessings lovelies ❤😘
I think just be respectful. Be conscious of the balance - make sure he reaches out to you as often as reach out to him. But you shouldn't be pushing nor should he be constantly have to push it should not be all one way
Thanks Stephan for the clarity. I see nothing wrong with reaching out to share contact info when I'm interested in him,but I only give one week, several days to respond otherwise I gather I'm too forward or he's not interested. No big expectations, other than a Hi and a gentle sentiment of interest or not if we can connect in the near future.😊❤
I needed to hear this, the guy is the problem not the action. I really do reflect on my actions to see if I did something wrong. I was having a normal flow conversation with a guy I started chatting to, he asked me questions and he mentioned how his cousins went to turkey and loved it and settled and I just ask would you ever want to move to another country? And if so where and why? (That was just to see a side of his personality?)
He responded this feels like an interview!
I was thinking wtf, I asked 1 question connected to our conversation. So he has asked about my family size, where I am in the tree ect, so I said yes it's feels the same here. The he couldn't take it himself and said something about may be we shouldn't force it if thats how it feels?
I didn't even bother replying. I really did feel it was pathetic for him to say that, and I just didn't bother after that
always so full of great insight stephan, thanks for delineating healthy v unhealthy. you're definitely gifted at seeing these things & i'm grateful you're sharing these. it takes weights off people's shoulders and helps us to be free to be ourselves more.
If a guy really likes u calling him first he willl be like hallelujah
He,s not gonna paint a negative picture on a positive action
Ladies it all sums up to who is interested and who s not
Stephan you are my number one coach foreever
My search is over,ive found you
God bless you
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate that and may God bless you as well ❤️ 🙏
i am not a big texter...i like phone calls...but i do not need 24/7 calls as i am not available 24/7. when in a true relationship i feel free to call my guy if i need to call him...if he does not answer i leave a message for a return call and the urgency of my call. in the beginning i will not call first...my daddy told me when a man is interested in you he will come to you and it is true...men will approach me and i am always open and friendly...if he calls me i will answer...if he wants to go out i will go out...but i never look at a man off the bat as the 'one' i like to take my time and talk to others as i believe in having options. your videos are helpful.
At the very end of the day, if a man wants you he will call you and pursue you. That’s has been the case for my whole life, speaking from having successfull relationships. Marriage.
Men love to pursue….
You can weed them out if they only want to tap….
Are you happy with them though. Most women are not fulfilled because they got the man who pursued them not the man they actually wanted.
he always call and yex me first. and no matter how busy he is he calls me, he prioritize me thanks god he is the one.
🙏 ❤️
Thank you so much! Really helped me to see from a different perspective!
I'm happy this has been helpful to you. Don't forget to share so that others can receive love, healing, and clarity ❤ 🙏
@@MeetStephanSpeaks Thanks again!
I agree with you brother! I’m not playing no games at this age! I’m grown! It doesn’t matter who calls first in my opinion! Either it is or it isn’t and I’m okay either way!
Rebuilding that trust is a process and requires practice, but communication is the key and essential to any successful relationship. He will have to love her back to him. They can have a nice car and sit in it, but without fueling it, it will not go anywhere. If they are trusting God, faith without works in dead.🙏🏼
I really like this. I’ve felt guilty about all those dating advice pieces since I chose to go the other way. If I don’t text him, I go crazy, so I end up texting him, even though it goes against all the advice on the internet 🤣
And if he can’t handle my daily messages, then, GOOD TO KNOW!!
If it works for you where men feel attracted by that, do more of it!
Love this!
Glad to hear that, thank you for your response!
New subscriber here !!!
Great advise 😊keep up the great work
I love how God is the center of @stephenspeaks message. Keep serving King 👑
❤️ 🙂 Thank you!
I left my number on a guys car I met and he texted me he was so happy and then he called me!
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate that ❤️
Are you guys dating? This is kind of forward.
I did this one time during college. He was a server I used to see regularly at the cafe and I left my digits on the table. He called the next day lol. It’s great strategy if he’s interested but I would proceed with caution now a days for it not to get into the wrong hands.
Nice! 😎
Hey Stephan, I genuinely enjoy your videos and think you give smart, biblical advice. But I think this video missed the mark because it’s a bit unbalanced. It automatically marks a woman who doesn’t want to make the first call as someone who is playing games. However, many of us are just being who we are …. A woman who wants the man to be The Man and call us first. What, you can smile and laugh and flirt, ask for my number, and then suddenly you’re nervous and scared about calling? No. I’m looking for a strong man who can and will take the lead, because he might one day be the head of my household. And he can’t make the first call? It’s a turnoff for me.
I’m 53, so maybe that has a lot to do with it. Men my age were not raised to wait on a woman to call. They had to approach a girl in school if they liked her. They had to ask her to the school dance or the prom. They had to call the house and risk getting the dad on the phone. They had to FACE the dad when they picked the girl up for a date. I’m not discounting that men have it rough and that they can be nervous. But they grew up having to do the hard things. Now that we’re seasoned adults they can’t overcome their fear enough to make the call after getting the green light to do so? No. I’m just not attracted to a guy like that.
I can forgive the guys in my daughter’s generation for being like this; they don’t know any better. But my generation knows better and has just gotten lazy. Part of it is because it’s easier nowadays to find a woman who will just take charge and do all the calling, planning, etc. I know that makes it harder for me to find the man I’m looking for, but all I need is one. 😊
I second that. Also BBC 😁
@@auntyyunike BBC?
BBC (BORN BEFORE COMPUTERS) 😂
@@auntyyunike
LOL
@Cynthiatucker4065 I agree with you 💯 %. Most times when we make the first move we are told we're being masculine. The dating scene today is confusing.
This was an awesome video. Thank you 😊
Spot on. Thanks Stephan
My pleasure ❤️
Ooops! 😆 Thanks for clearing all of that up 😊
I always enjoy your videos..
Glad to hear that, thank you for your response!
I was wrestling with this exact thing today and prayed about what to do, and this video popped up. It was exactly what I needed. 🙌🏼 Thank you and God bless🙏🏼
I'm happy this has been helpful to you 🙏
Very good advice and explanations!
❤️ 🙂 Thank you!
And important to Pray about it,🙏 like you said 👍
Great video!
❤️ 🙂 Thank you!
Speak on the subject of a person showing interest, but not consistent with communication with, thank you.
Dealing with this right now. I’ve just decided to let go. I’m tired of trying to figure out what’s what and being sad because of the lack of communication. It’s not making me happy I have to let it go. Even though I really feel like he likes me, it’s too draining.
I’d like to hear about him breaking up because something she said hurt his feelings please
When he says "Lord"😄😄😄 great video!
What if you are just super shy? And the thought of calling first is nerve racking.
IMO I feel like if it’s out of your nature or out of being yourself, don’t do it.
I have those flowers! 😊
Great wisdom… thanks once again
Hi Stephan,Am watching from Ghana. Much love from here
❤️ 🙂 Thank you for watching. I appreciate your feedback!
*True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked.*
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback 🙏
Interesting video!🤔🙏
❤️ 🙂 Thank you!
Hi Stephan, as a dating coach, do you see games, tactics, manipulations, etc decrease with age? I'm 36. I do not want to deal with some of these immature things.
I believe the older men play games just as much as the younger men and it’s sad. Older doesnt not mean mature… it actually may mean they have already been broken and damaged goods.
I'm in my 60s and I find men in my age bracket still play these games. Very disappointing.
You will think, but unfortunately this can continue…. Because some men are still out there doing everything they can to share their erection with everyone else because of the fear of losing it… not that they have to lose it but they want to make sure that they got it. What better else to do than sleeping with different women to make themselves feel younger. Despite that being in a healthy relationship is the fountain of youth 💚💚💚💚
They dont even 50 year olds and older still have tricks
They develop more tricks as they get older
I got an idea for a video. Why do men go for women that are already in a relationship with another man? Why are they OK with being the side piece?
Great suggestion!
Women are even worse when it comes to this
You really are good man
❤️ 🙂 Thank you!
When he is not for you he is for you .Its ok move on
Thank you for your feedback, I appreciate hearing from you ❤️
Excellent video!
❤️ 🙂 Thank you!
your videos are just amazing
❤️ 🙂 Thank you!
Stephen we are at different levels of feelings and the imbalance is painful for me, he is interested but I am deeply in love so I broke up with him because I don’t want to feel like this. I don’t know if I did the right thing I just wanted the pain to stop
Limerence maybe?
You said it right I wish everyone just stop playing games and the dating process and relationship..because I don’t play games at all and I’m sure not an actress either ..I just want a man who play games ❤❤❤
Thank you for your feedback. I appreciate hearing from you ❤️ 🙏🏼
I will never approach a man , or show interest first again. NEVER.
🙏 ❤️
Love u Stephan. Thanks for keeping it real. 🎉
My pleasure ❤️
It's your style that draws me in it's your smile that God ordained that keeps me here it's your messages that let me know I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be😊 #Proverbs31woman
Am the first
Watching you from Nigeria
🙏 ❤️
I've never but I do text him in the morning times and tell him Good morning and I love him
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback 🙏