Rebound Relationships: The Overlooked Betrayal
HTML-код
- Опубликовано: 8 июл 2024
- A different perspective on a phenomenon that's increasingly common, and often celebrated as a positive cornerstone in the 'get your ex back' self-help community.
00:00 Let's talk about it
00:33 I really don't agree
01:19 Rebound? How about Betrayal?
02:35 One among many
03:53 Come to reality
04:22 Feel the pain
05:28 It's doable
Some truth right here. I've been caught in this rabbit hole of "no contact' and "how to get your ex back" on youtube. But the reality I'm thinking of is that I'm not okay with her being with other guys after our breakup and I'll never be able to look at her the same way. Even if she did come back, I'd question her motives, I'd want to know what she did while we were apart... And let's face it, she isn't obligated to tell me anything that went on. So because of that I'd rather just move on and find someone I can start fresh with.
AMEN BRO! Going through the same thing. Its been 1.5 years ago. I tried everything but this video is refreshing. Also jumping in the cold water!
Furthermore, the details would kill you...
Glad to see there's a few people here sharing the same viewpoint. I tought there was something wrong with me not being able to overcome it. Once you stop fighting yourself, it's liberating
@@DorMeles Oh yeah 🌊: D
The only time you get back with an ex who left you is when they weren't with another guy in the interim. As soon as they're with another dude on your separation/break they exclude themselves from ever being your gf again
@@urdadshusband781 Straight to the point 🎯
You’re def not a nobody, sir. You are a teacher and if nobody told you this, I appreciate this message!
Thanks, I am flattered 😊
I think of myself as an eternal learner fueled by curiosity
My ex rebounded from her ex-husband to her ex bf, then to me, so I wasn't surprised to find she did it after me. I absolutely would not take anyone back that has been with another man! She knows that's a line I will never cross!
Thanks for sharing, my man 🫀
@YagoIsJustDreaming keep up the content, I love the women, but now I know I could never go back!
I'm 2 months in to a break up - after 5 great months together, out of the blue she told me she was going back with an ex. Just like that. Whether she physically did or not I will never know, but I know emotionally she betrayed me because she was setting it up behind my back, ready to make her move. It's an absolute killer. Straight from me to him. I wanted her back at first, or rather my emotions did. My head says the opposite so it's a tug of war between rationality and emotion. This week my heart is moving towards my head and I'm feeling a little better, but I'm not sure that offsets the sense of loss and the fact that I still really miss her.
Sorry to hear that. Have you considered the possibility that you might be the rebound in this situation?
I agree 100% with you said.. once that happens it’s gone, dead. Hard truth
Yeah. It is a betrayal. I can't really get over it. I've built a lot of resentment towards her over this. Its not like thats unfounded.
A poet once said: "Most of the time, my head is on straight \ Most of the time, I'm strong enough not to hate".
Resentment is normal, I would say physiological. But a lot of it, and for a long time, could poison you 🫀
Great perspective! Finally someone who sees it as something huge and not just something you should ”understand and accept because it’s a coping mechanism”. It’s really being stabbed in the back and in the heart at the same time. My ex rebounded with his neighbour three weeks post breakup. He did the slow fade on me. Didn’t even end the relationship but said we’ll just take one day at a time and suddenly he ends up with her. To me that’s cheating even if, probably according to him, we were over (because that’s how he breaks up, pulls away with no closure). It feels like he really did his best to burn all bridges. Would you say it’s the same when a man rebounds as when a woman does because men can sleep with women without an emotional bond/loving them or are they equally unforgivable?
Sorry to hear that, Lily, and thank you for sharing your story. In my opinion, betrayal is betrayal, regardless of whether it's a man or a woman. Both men and women can have purely physical relationships without emotional bonds, and to me, that's equally unforgivable.
But the most important thing is how you feel about it. Do you think forgiveness is a possibility, or are you just delaying the inevitable by trying to convince yourself to accept the current way of seeing relationships?
On May 12, 2024 I found out the love of my life cheated on me. 8 years gone to shit in a matter of seconds. I will NEVER take him back. He chose temporary pleasure over me and that’s something he’ll have to live with for the rest of his life. I’ve blocked him everywhere and will remain no contact forever. He calls me daily. I have an app that unmasks private callers so his name and number shows up every time I get an unknown call. Just the thought of him still reaching out makes my blood boil. The absolute nerve after you betrayed me. I went no contact with the intention of healing & starting a new chapter in my life. I will never understand people that go no contact to win an ex back. Seems like a game to me but to each their own.
Thank you for this video! Going to subscribe and check out the rest.
You're such a strong person. Good for you.
She left me for "the better man" back in december.
5 years married for 3....
She was with him the next day after we split.
Shes still with him now.
Yeah man, your story sounds very familiar...
But I'm still here, living and fighting after a river of tears 💪🏻
you lost. It's good to lose it gives you room to focus on yourself outside of ego and if you do that you win in a much more essential sense
I really needed to hear this, and your whole channel. Thank you so much.
Thanks for stopping by. Wish you all the best 🫂🫀
Yes, it is betrayal. I was his rebound woman. He still was in contact with his last ex and lied about the sex until our first date. 2 weeks after I found out he broke up. Relationship lasted a few months and left me devastated.
Thanks for sharing. I hope you're better now, and I wish you good luck with your journey ❤️
I think mine did something similar to me. Said they'd ended it months ago. Yet I found a video, an instagram reel she had posted from his bedroom, just a month or two ago. Why is she in your bedroom if you're not still together? So I assume they were at least having sex, and if you're doing that with a long term ex of yours, you might as well be together with them until all of that stops.
Our thing lasted for 6 months. Then suddenly he went cold. Suddenly he has doubts. Suddenly he doesn't see us as feasible. Couple weeks before, nothing but compliments about how much he likes me and how much he wants me. Then wishy washy answers to "have you met someone new? It feels like you're not interested in me anymore".
I feel like an fool for believing him. Either he found someone completely new, or he took the ex back, the one he described as "I don't know why I picked a woman like that, one that can't stand on her own two feet". He insulted us both.
Thank you for sharing this it means a lot to me at this point in time
Thanks for stopping by. It's good to know that we are not alone in our pain 🫂🫀
Fantastic! I needed this!
Thanks man! 😎
Here a new follower. Nice video on something that is pretty straightforward and true: betrayal.
@David-qr2dk Welcome, David 🫂🫀
Yeah bro !!!! Truth! Thanks for sharing
Thanks for stopping by 😎
So True. Miss . Linda 💯💯💯
Right you are sir!
🫂🫀
I believe I agree with you wholeheartedly. I'm right now going through a breakup. Or should I say going through it myself after it ended two weeks ago. Of course, I'm doing the no contact thing. There isn't much else to do when you're the one that got dumped. 5 years with this person., And I was a very good guy to her. She seemed to feel that we weren't compatible anymore, And the breakup was kind of like a way an avoidant would do it. Nothing really serious happened. It was just an about-face on her part. Things were getting off track for awhile So it wasn't a surprise but the coldness of it was. Anyway i've been thinking about this exact subject. What if she comes back? How many guys has she been with? If it's any more than 0, I don't think I can go there again. Because that would feel to me like permeditated cheating.. I've even heard women say, When they've gone out with somebody else, They will actually verbalize what we were broke up the time... OK well, maybe technically on paper. That looks correct, but the way that it's gonna hit somebody is that you planned to go out and do that. I mean basically if you go back with somebody that would do that, They are capable of doing it again and it would just make you a cuckold.
Thanks for sharing your story 🫀
I hope that things will work out for you, and that the number will remain 0. I feel your pain.
"Premeditated cheating"... couldn't have said it better.
PS: If you wanna hear a different perspective on no contact, you might wanna check out Clay Andrews' channel, in case you're not already familiar with it.
🫂
5 years? Try 15. In order for any man to grow they have to go through pain. As for her coming back, dont we all eat when we get hungry? Dont take her back. she left not because youre not compatible, she just got bored. If she comesback, her optioms were limited or not as good as you. Once shes back with you, itll be a matter of time before she does it again. Stop loving women and just understand them. They are survival creatures, you cant be mad at them for that. Use logic not feelings when assessing things. And one last thing, we as men never mentally prepare ourselves for the possof a woman leaving us, they do. Next time you get in a relationship just know she is never yours, its just your turn. Stop overthinking and wasting time. Go be kick some a$$ and better yourself.
@@chiefwahoo4130 youd have to know the context. Yes i think your right she got bored, but so did i. It got horribly routine. Of course half our relationship was during the rona lockdowns (wonder how many relationships that affected) but she has a life that didnt allow much time for excitement. I was bored too. Never lost my physical attraction but bored. Shes a school teacher (another problem, politics did not line up..teachers are permanently at the childs table) so her day starts at 530am, she gets home at 4pm and in an hour its time to make dinner for her kids (aged 16 and 17+ and she still acts like they are half grown) then after dinner school work, and then rigid 930 bedtime. Then on the weekends she always wanted to be out hiking or in nature. Understandable being indoors all week. On my end i run my own pool company all week and active, so on the weekends i like to bring it down. She has 2 dogs and a cat she always worries about dealing with. The first two years of our relationship was really good, But after about a year and a half the mask got dropped, And it was almost as if this is the way life is. I found myself stepping to this woman schedule because there wasn't much choice. Every time I wanted to go somewhere there was always some hitch. The dogs, Or the kids were coming back on Sunday at 5 o'clock. And she would get hyped out about that.. I mean, yeah, she probably was bored. But she's not really looking at her own existence which is incredibly boring. I was actually getting to the point where I thought maybe I needed to go. The feeling was kind of mutual but it was unspoken. To some degree, I felt like it was an impossible situation. I kinda stop trying to Suggest things to go do. Because there was always some reason why she couldn't do that. One thing for sure I don't think I will ever date Somebody that has kids that are not grown. I was waiting For her kids to get older and things so would get easier. I saw her as a good potential partner for a lot of reasons, and I was very good to her, But I have to say one of the things that was really getting on My nerves was the fact that her kids didn't even want her around because they are at those teen ages yet she acts like they're still toddlers.
@@thepuffin-ss9ln you kepy saying kids. If her kids are from a previous relationship, you should stay away from single moms. You should be happy it ended in my opinion.
@@chiefwahoo4130well yes... i agree with you NOW. I tried it in my mid 20s, got burned. Strictly avoided them for 25 yrs. Thought id try if kids were older. Still got burned. Sucks cause alot of people have kids in my age bracket....but fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice shame on me. There wont be a 3rd time in this guys life
Good point
Thank you, and best of luck with your journey
@@YagoIsJustDreaming 🙏
Yeah, i am very confused right now. My fiancé left me after 7 years. I've made mistakes but never cheated or violent, abusive. So I tried to get her back after a month of silence. She said she met a guy 2-3 weeks after the separation. She is only dating, no physical. Told me how hard it is for her to open up again and that she has no time to grief and just wants to be happy and finally marry and if possible get children.
I find it very sickening and told her that's not a normal behavior after a 7 year relationship.
Sad thing is, i can't never ever take her back, cause of that. She burned all bridges with her disloyal behavior. Showed no respect towards our relationship, me and herself...
Sorry to hear.
We all make mistakes in relationships, hopefully not irreparable ones.
No contact is often promoted as some sort of magic tool; sadly it can backfire in the way you just described.
Her behavior is impulsive. It definitely looks like a rebound, and she is not acting from reason, but from emotions.
I would say fairly typical behavior, though.
To see someone you've invested years be gone in a matter of days is truly heartbreaking, man
I agree 100%
I feel you, man 🫀
It's betrayal 100% Maybe it depends on the difference in morals and values, and for one it is betrayal and for the other, just normal life.
That's why it is so hard for the one that got cheated on, people know in their heart that shit is done once the cheating happens. Who would get back with a promiscuous woman and not feel that he betrayed himself for doing so? What value does a cheater hold after the truth comes out? The answer is zero, all that matters is if you accept her zero value or not.
Agree 100%.
It's a major shift, and things just cannot go back to business as usual
Good vid. Agreed. There is a difference between a cheating mistake and betrayal. Not to minimize a cheating mistake but conscious prolonged betrayal is worse. Like slow murder. One of the last things I said to an ex: "Your solution to betrayal is permanent betrayal."
"Your solution to betrayal is permanent betrayal" wise words, I'll write them down in my booklet of quotes (no joke, I really have one!)
@@YagoIsJustDreaming I have already found plenty of wise words in the few videos of yours I have watched. If ever in doubt about whether you should have made them, remember some were grateful for them. Me included. God bless.
"Cheating ""mistake""" is equally bad. Cheating is horrible and if someone doesn't tolerate it, good for them.
@@naukumaija7056 It is horrible. I tried to point out that I was not minimizing it, and only sought to make the point that prolonged betrayal is even worse. Perhaps I did not do a great job of it?
One partner I had cheated in a weak moment. She confessed, explained, and wished to continue our relationship. I thanked her for the truth and told her I would forgive her but would not be able to continue the relationship.
Another partner not only cheated but lied and betrayed in additional ways (violating trust by revealing intimate details about me to her "lover"). The first was terrible. This one was more than terrible. Is my point now better understood?
Irritating he keeps saying she… men do this too!
Yes, men do this too. I am just sharing the story from my perspective