I’m a single mother, born and raised in the Virgin Islands. My daughter’s father abandoned me and my daughter for another woman, and he supports her kids. I was devastated, because I didn’t know how I would be able to take care of us by myself, especially since I don’t have supportive family members. I began crying out to God, and that began my journey with Him. God took care of us and sent random people my way to help me. 5 Years later, I am now a homeowner in the U.S. No longer in the Virgin Islands.
My father left my mother back in the 80s. My mother begged my father to come back. That was the worst thing she could have done. My father resented my mother until the day he died. He stopped loving her years ago and he wanted to leave but my mother said or did something and my father stayed. But I can tell you as the child seeing this go down, I wished my parents got the divorce, because they both were miserable for over 30 years. They both are died now but I wished they both met other people and would have lived a happier life.
@avalonpark1574: I tried to leave a toxic marriage several times. I was very transparent (naive) so I would always try to settle things before I left as it related to our children etc. Every single time I tried to leave something would happen and I would end up staying. When I was finally able to leave (Grace of God), I was done. But, one day a rush of emotions came over me and I was desperate to reconcile. The feeling was horrible but uncontrollable and I ended up calling him and telling him that I had a change of heart. We almost immediately reconciled. Soon after he fell right back into his ways, trying to turn our kids against me, and secretly causing all kinds of havoc behind my back. Finally, I learned that he was involved in ‘alternative spiritual practices’ and that the things that were happening was bigger than the physical. My point is that everything is not always as it seems and your mom may have been a victim. Obviously, I don’t know that for sure, but I know that people can do things to ‘keep’ while pretending that they don’t want you. I know this for a fact!
Sad Video. There is nothing like a perfect marriage or relationship. There are no formulas to these things. What works for Adam might not work for peter. I However learnt that in everything there is always a solution, 5 years ago my wife and I were on the brink of a divorce because we were having some difficulties in our marriage but we are back together ,it was a really bad phase but we got through it..
There is a lot of sense in what you just said and I hope mine works the same way too, we are currently separated but I cant live without her, I love her so much. wish I can get her back I can do anything to have her back, we have tried therapy amongst other things
Its always difficult to let someone you love go, but in my case I had the help of a spiritual adviser who saved my marriage from collapsing her name is Suzanne Ann Walters...
sweetheart, men rarely leave like that unless it's another woman. Men typically stay in comfort zones, no matter how toxic or dysfunctional things may be. I'm saying this, because I want you to be emotionally prepared for the worst. 70% of divorces are filed by women. It's statistically rare. Just prepare your heart. I've been through divorce, and it's tough, but you will get through this. please protect your spirit ❤🙏🏽
That’s not true. My ex-husband walked out on me and his 3 children simply because he cannot communicate edfectively and didn’t want to pay bills and was tired of me asking him for his share. I went through the same traumatic experience, however, God prevailed and I am in a much better position taking care of me and our children on my own.
I was married to a man similar to your husband. It was absolutely miserable. We have 2 kids. One with special needs. I got a divorce and prayed hard because it was hard financially. Money came out of nowhere and i prayed for a man that would love me and my children and he sent him quickly. God always makes a way. You WILL make it. I will send prayers for you and your children. God loves to listen to your prayers. Pray to him tell him what you need and give him your requests. Trust me it may be hard now for you but nothing is hard for God. He loves you.
You can stay home and make money. Plus make sure you have access and your name on the bank accounts . There is also alimony and child support. Just important to always be smart, save what you can but telling women not to stay home or trust their husbands is bad advice.
Ladies im a housewife and ive been a housewife for 11 years. If my husband leaves i still have three homes in my name, vehicles in my name, a life saving of 6 figures. You can very well be a SAHM/HOUSEWIFE & still have a very secure future. Just be wise and make sure he is investing in you. Make sure you have full access to the money. Make sure your name is on the house, cars and accounts. Save your money. People change. Be wise.
I think most of us understand that it’s possible to make money from home. All she’s saying is women need to always have their own and not be solely dependent on the spouse’s income.
@@believeringod.4004 the average person doesn’t even have 6 figures in savings by the age of 60. More realistic advice is to be HONEST with yourself about your partner. I knew my divorce was coming a year before the papers were signed. Be honest and loving to yourself.
Long ago, you made a video. During the recording, your husband and kids came home. Your whole energy shifted. It was like a “new” Shana slipped through. I saw your anxiety, and you quickly ended the video. When you left RUclips, I strongly felt it was because of marital problems. Us mothers cry behind closed doors. No one sees our pain. That said, cry if you need to. We are here for you. We love you, Shana!
God is going to see you through this season of your life and you will look back on this part of your journey when you are in a better place and see your growth. Love to you always❤
@@roseinharlem8152that’s very dismissive. If it was that simple people would do it. It takes time to just let go. The mind, body and soul don’t work like that. Time, distance and new experiences allow people to let go!!!
Sad to say, this must be the season for divorce. My husband left as well towards the end of March. We will get through this. I am a firm believer that God makes no mistakes and I am sure he is doing us a huge favor! It sucks to get left… the feeling of abandonment, the constant question of “did he ever love me for real? When did he start feeling this way?” The list goes on… before long, the pain and grief will subside and you’ll look back and thank God for allowing him to leave….. because if you’re anything like me, you would have continued to sit in misery for the sake of not being lonely! Stay strong cyber sis! This too shall pass!
As some one that is also going through this, reading comments like this helps a lot. I am so thankful for finding her video. Just when you think you’re alone. I know this isn’t about me, but I just had to say that. It feel so much better to see women support one another, and when you are going through it, you don’t know the outcome. But just reading and seeing it’s women that has been through it and they made it through so can we!
My ex- husband left when I was at work. Didn’t wanna talk or anything. I was devastated. It was one the hardest thing ever. I was so depressed…. 🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾
WOW!!! What cowards…unless there’s abuse or imminent danger there is no excuse to do that! But thank full that as my mom would say “man’s rejection is Gods protection” so it was for your good any how!
Never totally depend on a man, financially and mentally or emotionally. Women need to be sovereign and self govern and sufficient all of these areas. Never be codependent it’s a weakness.
Women initiate 75% of the divorces. (eye roll) You ladies just need to pick the good man and stop dating the bad boy. Problem solved. You have to compromise. Men are not supposed to be fine, we are supposed to be useful.
@OPEN_ROAD1800. You are looking at it all wrong. If women(overall) shared this information, then more married women would be better equipped when/if divorce ever comes up.
Please don't let him see you break! That's what they want to see. My hubby and I broke up once snd he thought I was going to lssh out or something. No, get the heck out, boo! Rise like a Phoenix. These men want to see women fall these days! He knows he left you in limbo.
You don’t even know the husband. Perhaps he just got frustrated and wants a break from her. Not every man care to see you break. Some people just want some peace in their lives.
Some couples still have love for each other. Just because you’re divorcing them doesn’t mean you want to see them suffer especially if they are your child’s parent.
What a BS which serves only women not to take accountability for anything in a separation. You are putting opinion on the table as if it was a fact. Focus on objective elements instead of emotional stuff.
@@d.o.9225Facts.. the truth is most of these women destroy their own homes. Toxic women give toxic advice and spread the chaos and family destruction. They get married because they want to be a husband not a wife.
My ex partner of 14yrs left the relationship on 26.12.23 . For someone he got pregnant, this I found out after he left. I will say there were lots of red flags throughout the years but I was trying to work things out, hoping things would get better. The man just constantly cheated and lied abt it. Never admitting to wrong doing. Red flag 1 was: in the first year+ of living together he decided to introduce me to his mom and her reaction was that of a hateful person. Never met the woman physically, was through Skype. I never spoke to her for 11/12yrs. Rift was everywhere, with his family side. My family had no problem with him. They accept who I choose... there was just a lot happening in this relationship. Last 3yrs I was engaged also. That date I gave was the exact date 3yrs ago.
Honor your feelings. Don't allow him to get away financially. He wants to leave, he still has to take care of the financial responsibilities he created with you.
Be strong sis. The truth is most men are cowards. They are not going to leave unless they already have someone else. They will stay with you unhappy and all and will only have the courage to leave you when they have already secured some other desperate woman. Move on with your life . Stick close to God and he will help you and bless you. ❤🙌🏽
Your statement is the exact opposite of what you claim. Most of the time it's the woman who leaves when they find another security blanket to lean on " Facts it's what I seen and saw others go through It's always two sides to the story" live long enough and you will see"
Not someone else, somewhere else. Some men leave not because there’s another woman, but because he wants to have more than just one other, and he wants to be out of the marriage to do that. Once he has his basics in order and has a place to stay, that’s when he makes his exit.
As someone that is now married to a woman that had to go through a divorce, make sure you get a good lawyer that specializes in divorce and custody! You don’t want to wait. Write everything down and keep all text messages.
I agree the person you were married to is not the same person you are divorcing, treat them as tho you never meet them because you haven’t. Don’t trust that they will have your best interests , it’s no longer yall it’s every one for themselves.
@@mala3isity Have to be careful about that. In many states, it's illegal to record a conversation without the other person's consent, even in your own house. I think in New York it's okay as long as the person recording is part of the conversation, but you can't secretly record a conversation you're not part of. In my state, it's illegal to record unless both parties are aware and consent to the recording, so you could be held liable/charged for it. And even if you don't get in legal trouble for, it can't be used in court, so the court will just behave as if the recording doesn't exist. Just an FYI to those reading these comments thinking about recording someone as proof to use in court.
@@anyaw340 Thank you! I had no idea about this. I was thinking more about "things to take to lawyer" or just for her exact memory's sake but I had no idea she could get in trouble, we def don't want that.
I had a really good African friend that I had met through her braiding my hair( years ago). At the time she was pregnant with her 5th baby and lived in one of the really nice areas and had a beautiful home. She had helped her husband through college( he was suppose to help her through college, after he graduated), and he was making very good money to support them, after he graduated college. She confided in me that one night they had gone to bed as usual, and she woke up the next morning and he was gone, and NEVER came back! It happened with the 5th baby that she was pregnant with. She eventually had to move out of that really nice area and beautiful home into a mobile home in not as nice part of town. God truly became her everything, and she raised all five of her kids in the Church! She eventually graduated college, and so did all five of her kids.
If you file for divorce you can get an immediate judgment on spousal support, and child support. That he will have to continue to pay all bills until, the divorce if finalized
Depending on the court, there's often a long waiting time to get the case heard, even for that interim maintenance so it's important to have access to savings in the meantime.
@@sandrambah123 thats fucked up that a man has to pay for her lawyer during a divorce , yall have a bunch of safety nets and this is why men worth a damn should never get married , its failure waiting to happen the way the courts screw men over .
This advice is coming from someone who had too leave a situation that was going nowhere. first you need to get on your knees and ask God for guidance and to take care of all of your needs. you will find what he really has for you and it will be beautiful and peaceful and fulfilling and more then you expected.
My Grandma and old Aunties warned me about men, were they married yes. I know all men are not bad but ladies protect your heart and your finances. A lot of women go through hell and this too shall past.
All you have to do is compromise on your standards so you can have a good man. That's literally it. You modern ladies have insane standards. That narrows your dating pool to almost nothing, increasing the odds that you will run into a narcissistic man. Or worse. It's really sad how women will date bad men and then be surprised at the eventual result.
My husband was having an affair with a yt woman. The divorce was granted just today. He was abusive and cruel. I know it’s hard but I am 55 days no contact and 5 months out the home. You will make it. I promise
@@nicolelewis6312 not really because I’m actually very beautiful…his new supply is 7 years younger. But I feel like he feels like a particular demographic is more worthy of respect. He wanted to stay in the Bronx when we were together but NOW he wants to go up to Manhattan. Like I deserved the ghetto or something. I am an attorney so I moved myself into a better environment 💅
@@Empatheticallyrisingdon’t ever settle again. BM are not loyal to BW they only use us until they find a Becky who will tolerate them.. go find love elsewhere
@@Empatheticallyrisingisn’t that interesting that you were settling for him! I watched both my mom and my step mom struggle with my dad’s compulsive nature and the frankly verbal abuse at minimum but they’re both thriving without him while he’s sad he left my mom in ‘02 😂 you’re highly educated, intelligent and beautiful! He’ll be looking back on this time as his biggest loss and your higher success as the same era!
My ex husband did this to me 3 years ago, we had been together 13 years and married 9 years , He just sat me down one day and said I want a divorce. Everything seemed perfect , I had 3 month prior a hysterotomy and he was like I want to build a family. Never talked about having kids it was out the blue. I'm so glad that I work and was able to handle the mortgage of my home and other bills. I" m still heartbroken, fills like I'm in mourning . My ex husband was my everything. So starting over is hard. Sorry for your loss my dear
It was never perfect. Stop lying. You had issues and chose to ignore so did he until it was too late. Be honest with yourself. You want it to work so bad you and him overlooked obvious issues. Sometimes best to go separate ways then pretend that your marriage is great- when it is not. We as women just need to be honest with our situation. I’m on the other end of it thinking marriage should be perfect 24/7 but that is not the case, and took me a while to realize that marriage is work and Both people are individuals trying to come together and make it work. Marriage is NOT for everyone and about time people accept that. 😌
@@sg5720You might be right or it could be as a simple as he had been secretly toying with the idea of having kids and he did not tell her then the hysterectomy made him confront the issue. Very sad. Both should have been more open with each other. Although it might seem like too much money if she only has a hysterectomy while leaving her ovaries she still may have been able to produce eggs to have bio children if that was his hang up but with the way that he went about things that probably wasn't even a good suggestion to bring that up.
Ive reported sg5720. This weirdooo has been berating women all over this place defending terrible husbands. a true trollol. everyone else needs to report them as spam.
Give him what he asks for, as long as he knows he can never come back. When someone leaves you at your lowest, that tells you all you need to know about them.
I disagree. I left my ex at his lowest because of fear of him me bringing me down with him and his depression and medical issues especially when he refuses to get therapy and improve his health. I am donating my kidney to him and still want to even after my decision to leave and breakup. I hated leaving him but I can’t stay if he refuses to help himself. I fear donating my kidney to him and he not taking care of it and him (and I) losing the kidney. So it’s not always as simple as what you said. There are 2 sides.
@@esgee2464you one of the rarest good people, my dad passed away 2 months ago due to renal failure, I lost my job last month and had to get a biopsy for skin cancer. The man I loved told me he doesn’t love me anymore and we should move on, because he was secretly talking to other women and hated me asking him if he was (he just wanted to talk to whoever he wanted and do whatever he wanted but still get benefits). These are the people they are talking about when they say when you leave someone at your lowest. What you doing is noble, donating a kidney but please think it through because this will also affect your life as well and you will have to deal with the aftermath of it. I hope no matter what you decide that you find peace and love.
@@esgee2464so you haven’t left him at his lowest. You removed yourself from a situation you felt you couldn’t survive while maintaining support. That is not the point the original poster is making.
The way they leave you reveals how they felt the entire time. I am 46 and have a grown child, my ex husband begged me to have another at 40, when my oldest was in college. We were married for 10 years, and he left me with little notice. He left me a single mom to a now 6 year old , the one thing he knew I didn’t want to be again. Its been almost 2 years since we divorced, we have a new normal. I have learned to rest when I am tired. My ex is not capable of love, he was unwilling to love me the way I needed and resented me for it. He felt that I should be happy with whatever he did do, even if it wasn’t what I needed. The truth is difficult, especially when you know you tried so hard to make it work. One day, you will see him for who he is and realize your own strength in the process.
Going through a divorce now. I’m okay now but at the beginning it was so painful. I’ll never forget that pain. Because of that I don’t think I could get married again.
@@merinajalaya740 I know what you mean. I didn’t think I could either. But everything I went through naturally made my standards high and my patience low. So when I met my current husband he really had to do ALOT to earn my trust.
Not married, but dealing with the same thing, no communication, no talk of growth nothing. So I call myself single and I am moving as if I am alone. People who dont speak, are deadly!
People who don’t speak ARE deadly! So sad you have to defend yourself against the person you married. A wise woman told me… the man you marry is NOT the same one you divorce.
Get outta there.. If he doesn’t speak then you don’t mean nothing to him.. he see that’s weak for you to stay and he show no love and doesn’t communicate ❤
Exactly This is the father of my child. I wish I caught the red flags before getting pregnant but it's better late than never. I refused to marry him and ran for the hills. The relationship he has with our son is more important. ❤ I am good
Let's just stay single ladies... Some men are exhausting, my ex chose silence instead of communicating and it was emotionally exhausting for me, trying to get him to speak. He wanted to sweep things under the rug
I'm single for now. My last relationship was too much. I'm praying and healing. God is showing me what I need to work on. I do want to be married one day. Hang in there. Healing is worth it❤
I am staying single focussing on my health and my bank account. Life is too short for a man to be stressing me out. So many women are suffering they just cannot talk about it.
@@augustvirgo6773 U ain't neva lied, ppl don't tell the real truth about marriage. Alot of married women ain't nothing but single parents in their marriage.
When someone walks away from you, that is not a statement about you, it is a reflection of them. And the fact that he didn’t want to listen to the therapist truly speaks volumes!
You think he left her to be with another women because he just walked away from her like she wasn’t nothing that’s so sad that she’s going through this with her older Children 🤔 ……. Wow so he wanted to leave her first wow 😮
Hi there. This hits so hard. I was with my exhusband for 30 years married for 19. I remember feeling the pain you are feeling right now. He would leave me to be with his girlfriend for no reason for months no warning. I would always take him back. I finally got tired and got a divorce. Ended up giving him another chance after the divorce but he hadn’t changed. I got therapy and let him for good. My kids suffered so much because I stayed with him for so long. I thought I was helping them by staying but I actually hurt them more They are adults now but the pain is still there for them. We are healing and I’ve moved on with my life. I say all of this to say you are not alone and God is with you and your children.
Thanks for sharing your experience. It is so unfair when men behave in this manner. The pain their actions inflict seem to go unnoticed by them. You did all you could do. I applaud your loyalty to your marriage vows.
@@GuidedSoul88 I am so sorry you are going through this. The cruelty in the manner you husband has behaved is horrible. The two of you owned the home, how was he able to keep you away. I pray for your sons for courage to endure. So hard on children.
" I would always take him back." And this is exactly why these bozos act like this. Because you ladies allow them to. Meanwhile, you all said no to the better men because they weren't as tall.
Please take this in the grain which it is intended: You will be fine. Your daughters will be fine. I've done it. I'm fine. My children are fine. I have a son with special needs. Keep going Shana. We're here for you via RUclips with any support we can provide and to cheer you on through prayers and whatever resources and/or advice we can offer.
Yep. She will. Been there and the best thing that happened was I found peace from within. You don't think it's going to stop hurting but it does. Peace be with you beloved
@@R3dHeadRedemption On YT, I dont have tic tok, but close enough. And thank you for the support. We have to spread the word. Too many wicked women out here spreading bad advice. When a relationship is in trouble the last thing either person needs is advice from a single/divorced person. Need to pair with a couple that had been together 40+ years and been through the ups and downs.
Baby sis it sounds like realize you two aren’t equally yoked & that’s good!! Now you need to attain a good divorce attorney who specializes in cases such as yours; make sure the cost is incurred by your husband because you are the sole caregiver!! Pump out a video each day so we can support you hear on RUclips. You dont have to be a “Strong Black Woman” Eff That BS!!! You just take care of yourself & your babies!!! If he decides to come back to you -cool but now you know what you’re working with!!
You know she made mistakes in the relationship too right ? Why are you telling her to take this man to court to take all his money. He left for reason tho he definitely could have handled a lot better
Women (especially black women) are programmed to worship men and not God, so we will forever pay. Women scream to let men lead… when 90% of relationships women are the ones carrying
Please apply for ssi for your beautiful daughter. I have 2 kids on the spectrum and before getting married I was receiving a $600 a month check for my son. He is 21 now. I also got Medicaid, and food stamps for him as well. It's help out there you just have to apply. I am gonna pray for you and your family. I am so sorry you're going through this. There is light at the end of the tunnel, and just know your troubles will not last always. Trust in god, pray, and take it day by day. As for your husband, he will soon find out that there is nothing out here, and best believe the grass is not greener on the other side. Blessing to you my love. WE as your followers will always be here for you.
@@sharonharris9782 the fact of that matter is disgusting? I guess truth is a harsh reality to you. Unfortunately that doesn’t altar the truth of the matter as much as you may want it to. Think what you want but you can’t counter the data. Thoughts?
You gotta see the blessings in him giving you back your freedom to heal and grow. We allow men to leave us emotionally and stay in the home for years before they walk out and it just allows them to build a life some where else when their presence without really being present drains us and devastate our lives most us will ask multiple times for a divorce but men want to to see you destroyed by them walking away but we must learn to match their energy and build our own financial stability whether married or not. You got a army of women here to support you and God will not allow you to fail.
My husband left me with a little girl and one on the way.i know your pain and fear. Stay strong move forward life might change for you but you and your children deserve happiness.
My goodness! I hate hearing things like this. I’m not married but when I hear things like this it makes me rethink it all over again although I know this isn’t everyone’s story.
The fact she kept forgiving him and he still did not make changes for you. RED FLAG. Remember she threatened to leave many times so he secured himself before she decided to leave for good. Petty, and cold and calculating he is, but she is no angel either. She won’t be the first single mom and she won’t be the last. Best they go separate ways. I pray she and her children will be okay, and I hope he finds what he looking for and is happy too. 😌
Please look up Dismissive attachment style. I’m not trying to diagnose anyone but listening to your story and his behavior, it sounds very similar to one I dated and this man brought out anxiety that I never even knew existed in me! He Never wanted to talk about anything past surface level, would get upset whenever I said I was done with him and didn’t want me to leave him, avoided talks about feelings, wouldn’t address his needs but got upset when I didn’t I didn’t meet his unaddressed needs, and he up and discarded me out of the blue after me begging for him to communicate because the hot and cold had me so confused! I’m still hurt by it but learning about people who behave in this manner, I realize there’s really nothing I could’ve done besides suppressing my feelings and pretending everything was ok. I’m praying that things get better for you and your girls and I know that they will give you the strength to get through this tough time❤
Girl, my auntie has been married three times, so you will get through it and live to tell the story. Trust me. You are bigger than the marriage. And your happiness is for and to your children.
Don’t worry girl you were alone anyway so keep on being alone. You will just regret the number of years you stayed. Don’t worry for your children just pray for them. They will be ok.💛🧘🏾♀️
How did you come about your assumption? The man sounds like he just has a very different personality from her the one she expects him to have. What I hear is a man who is just “tired”. Men, like women are still allowed to get tired.
Shelfish most probably. Narcissist, we just don't know. We must stop throwing that word around, it will end up loosing all credibility in the face of real Narcs.
This, too, shall pass. You will heal and move on to better things. I was married for 11 years. I was miserable. My divorce was freeing. I wish you the best.
When You first broke into a tears..I felt that. Sending you huge hug. Those feelings you explained reminded me how I felt 10 years ago when me and my ex decided to get divorced. My 5 year old helped me realize we were gonna me alright. My son told me....its okayMommy, it's always gonna be me n You, just u n me Mommy.... Kids know what's up sometimes. You got This Momma,it's gonna be hard. But you got this!
I know exactly what you're talking about because my husband is the same way. He's very 'surface level' and doesn't like to talk about the deeper uncomfortable issues. It's very frustrating.
Shana, my heart dropped when I saw your title. One thing that crossed my mind, and I know nothing about it, but it occured to me part of your anxiety may be from your husband. That's just my thoughts. I've been praying for you for awhile.
Tell God that you're placing your husband in His hands and youuuuu let go if the reins. Let God handle this and you try to stay in prayer as much as possible. This will not be easy but allow God to hold you up right now and I will pray for you and your family. ❤
The notion of a perfect marriage or relationship is a fallacy; every relationship is unique. What works for Adam may not necessarily work for Peter. Nevertheless, I've discovered that there's always a solution to every problem. Five years ago, my wife and I were on the verge of divorce due to challenges in our marriage, but we were able to mend our relationship. It was a tough time, but we survived
The depth of your words strikes a chord with me, and I genuinely hope my feelings mirror yours. Despite our current physical distance, I cannot envision my life without her; my love for her runs deep. I yearn for her return, and I'm prepared to do whatever it takes to make it a reality. We've explored different avenues, including therapy, in our quest for reconciliation.
Parting with someone you love is always a challenging process, but in my experience, I had the guidance of a spiritual guide who prevented my marriage from collapsing. Her name is Suzanne Ann Walters.
Your advice is valued. I'll promptly look her up online. Thank you. I'm optimistic that pursuing this method will also lead to favorable outcomes for me; I deeply yearn for her.
I kind of figured it was marital issues going on. A divorce is like a death. Allow yourself to go through all the emotions as needed. Stay in prayer. The word of God says if an unbeliever wants to leave let them go. I wish you the best Shana! Keep your pretty head up. ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
Be careful when he comes back around cause he more than likely has someone and is justifying his actions. It happened to me then after his fling he said you changed like he wanted to work things out as if it was all my fault . Long story short he ended up cheating again later with his ex wife. He would lie about what he was doing and I already seen enough. Please work on you. I ended up leaving . I have struggled every since but I won't put up with a narcissist gaslighting me and continuing to play games. I'm sorry sweet lady.
OMG! I am so sorry you are going through this. I have been in the exact same boat before, husband left in 2010 when I had a 5 yr old & 1 year old. I didn't work, I used to, he had the career and I stayed home with the kids, and I was freaking out and so scared when he left. Money & worrying about my kids and how they would feel, and how it would impact their lives was my main concern. I have a great man in my life now and for the past 9 years and he is wonderful to my kids. My kids are so so close with me now because of everything. You WILL be okay, it will take time, but believe me you DO NOT want to be with someone that doesn't want to be with you, you are WORTH way more than that. You are too sweet, smart,drop dead gorgeous, and probably the best smelling woman in town🙂, he is a FOOL for leaving you. Throw yourself into your RUclips channel like crazy to get that income and be super successful, focus on being strong in front of your girls, and time will help heal. We all pray for you, take it day by day and be strong. 💜
You are young and beautiful. Do not allow this to break you. Get a good divorce attorney. Put out more content on YT and other platforms and also figure out what you like doing and try to find a job in that area. Don't focus on the heavy burdens, focus on life and making a good life for your babies. Don't be ashamed to ask someone to start a go fund me. This will provide temporary assistance while you put your life back together. Also, prayer is a good resource, pray and remain positive💕
I came here to say the same thing.Hope she sees this.I went through this with my ex too and l didn’t let it break me and l moved on even if it was tough.
When people shows you who they are, please believe them, listen to the RED FLAGS people. Don't work too hard to keep a relationship. You are wonderful woman and you will get through this, so let him go.... je te souhaite que du bonheur!
I went through the same thing in 2013 after 12 yearsof marriage. It's a process, but you will get through it. I experienced every emotion there was while trying to go through an eviction and car repossession. I have a wonderful husband now. No one can tell you how to heal because the emotions can come in waves. You will get through this with your children. God will vindicate you as he did me. I pray strength and wisdom as you navigate through this. It's amazing how someone can love you one minute and hate you the next.
Everyone start at the first video and rewatch EVERYTHING. IM GONMA HAVE MY DAUGHTER AND CREW SUBSCRIBE. GET IT COOKIN FIR THIS SISTER!! YALL DO THE SAME! SHANA WE GOTCHU!
Girl you got me tearing 😢 I haven’t even got a good 5 minutes in. From one mother to another I sincerely empathize and will be lifting you and your family up in prayer ❤❤ I pray god comforts you and brings you peace in those lonely times we all experience. 🙏🏾🙏🏾Thank you for sharing and being so vulnerable with your Subs! You never know who else could be suffering in silence or going through the same 🫂Be strong you will make it! Being alone is so much better than being in bad company, change is hard and can be painful but there’s healing there and peace when it’s all said and done.
This sounds like it will lead to much better mental health in the future. Seems like there were some major points of incompatibility. No need to be ashamed. If you feel this is your community, then I hope that you feel welcomed to continue to share 💖💖
Hi Shana. Silent viewer here on both of your channels. I just felt compelled to comment because my BF went through this exact same thing in 2022. Husband just up and left. Watching this was like Deja vu. And I just want to tell you everything is going to be ok and you will get through this. Stay strong for your children and just be truthful with them about it all. You are beautiful and you deserve so much better. Life is to short and we all deserve to be happy. Wishing you and your girls nothing but the best going forward.
Don't cry baby, smile it's a huge blessing in disguise. God had to remove him to upgrade you mentally, financially, emotionally, physically and in all aspects. I've been through a similar situation in life. Thank God I never got married to the guy. Some people aren't your kingdom spouse, he was just a place holder. You may be sad right now but this too will pass. You're free to be your own woman again. Count your blessings, move on and be exceedingly truly happy this time.
I’ve been where you’ve been. I understand every emotion you explained. I’ve been divorced from that man for 10 years. I was so sad for my baby girl who was only 1.5 at the time. You just have to take it one day at a time. Talking about it helped me a lot. I lost a lot of self esteem due to circumstances around my divorce, but now I’m remarried with 3 more babies. It’s hard to see the light in your moment of darkness, but trust that it is there!
I’m 6 month in girl, it’s not easy. I’m praying and giving my marriage to God to sort it out but sometimes I get want to quit because the pain is too much. I don’t have the support as other do but it’s videos like this that make me feel like I’m not alone. Wish I could hug u girl, I feel everything you’re saying. It will work out in the end by the grace of God
It sounds like a lot of incompatibility. Sometimes opposites attract, but the differences are too great to be a couple. But you can't see it at the time. I'm very sorry you are going through this difficult time. Try to stay strong.
This man you are describing reminds me so much of my child's father; hence why we are no longer together. Not only did he not know how to communicate, but he doesn't know how to communicate EFFECTIVELY. Like you said, you are very big on communication, and I am the same way too. If I didn't address things, nothing got dealt with; absolutely nothing!! I was always the one to initiate a conversation in order for things to be dealt with; ALWAYS!!... You can't be in a relationship and expect things to just be surface level all the time! You have to want to dig deep and solve and resolve issues. This is the only way a relationship will work and remain healthy... Trust me I feel your pain.
My narcissist husband left me after 26 years of marriage. He said I was toxic because I keep accusing him of cheating. Well it came out that he was having an affair with another woman. When a man leaves it's always because he has another woman. 😢🙏🙏🙏🙏💪💪
@@iammikalanthony i was her, like a lot of women!! I know the symptoms of her situation. Times have changed! People are different and only out for themselves. If she doesn't prepare herself for this divorce , things will get harder. She has a special needs child which means more child support!! Her soon to be EX is going to stop that. She is an empathetic person who needs to get on her grin.
@@Noella-v9w Just because you both experienced that doesn't mean that all men leave because of another woman. It's extremely insulting, not just to the men like myself who honestly just got fed up with the nonsense and left, but also to your sons, when you spread the narrative that ALL men leave for that reason.
Sweetie you will be just fine! One man’s trash is another man’s treasure God will walk beside you on your new journey no worries and we are here for you as your support system 🫶🏾I wish you many beautiful blessings to come ❤
I know it’s painful. I’ve been there. The best advice I can give is do the work on yourself. Focus on yourself. Get yourself on your feet and keep talking with your therapist. Do it for yourself and you children. Love and strength to you.
Sometimes you just need to talk it out and talking to strangers is better than family. I found when I recorded myself speaking of some personal things it helped me to get it out. You will feel you are the blame, you question what did I do and then comes the anger where you want to just slap someone. But once you get over these hurdles, you will be relieved and then start moving forward. You got this and we are here to listen. Also, make sure you get a good attorney and know that you reached the mark where you get assistance with being married for 10 years.
First my dear lil sis, you look beautiful. I've traveled the road you are on. I have a son with an intellectual different ability which made divorce so painful. Put on your amour and ready yourself because it is all about your children. This life altering situation will bring out your survival instincts...Get a great divorce attorney, file for child support ASAP, focus on finances (work from home position). There is a light at the end of the tunnel, you are in my prayers🙏🏾❤️
I’m a single mother of four girls 9-19. My husband died of a heart attack. No help. No money from anyone and if I can do it you can too. For me it’s been 13 years since then. You got this
This really saddens me. I can feel your hurt. This is why I avoid relationships. I’ve been hurt also. You will be ok, it’s going to take time. It’s his loss.
You sound exactly like me and him like my husband. We’re only married almost 2 years. I sacrificed a lot! Had a bad argument and he just jumped to divorce, we did struggle with communication and resolution all the time. I even retired for my job of of 11 years for us. This sounds wayyyyyyyyyyyyyy to much like my situation. We gonna get through this gurl!
I am going through the same thing in many ways. I lost everything. Husband suddenly decided I was not good enough and I am toxic. No heads up, after being married for nearly 11 years. This is not normal. No one is perfect. I am not, and neither is he. This is spiritual.
I can truly say that I know how you feel. I’m so sorry that you have to go through this. I was blindsided by my husband a year ago when he walked out after 22 years of marriage. I’m still in shock smh…
Be grateful that he left! I left my husband 10 months ago and divorced will be finalized next month. It was HARD at first but now I’m so happy with the recession. The lies and deceit were too much
Thank you for your transparency! Sharing your story reminds so many women that they do not go through these trials alone. You are so relatable. That nigga left on the 1st April, what a ‘fool’😒. The best thing you did was let him go. He will regret it, they always do in the end. God will guide you through this! You are loved! ❤
Someone mentioned in the comments that we can support her by watching old videos. I will do so, to help you gwt paid. I will keep you amd your kids in my prayers. Im so sorry that you are going through this.
I see a lot of BW in the comments resonating with your story. Saying the same thing happened to them as it did with you (and me). I actually asked for the divorce but it was a reverse discard. He made things so miserable and was so disrespectful I HAD to leave. I will never date another black male again because it’s now clear to me that THEY DON’T VALUE FAMILY.
They dont, but they be on here trying to convince the world its us. I hate when they do that because this comment section PROVES MY POINT. The point I make every time. They want to bring up statistics that literally has nothing to do with our REALITY! They want to label us independent and masculine bad attitude etc when this is the result of their leadership 80% of the time. Smh 🙄
They don't have a template and so what do we expect. They have absent fathers so they don't know how to be partners. Black women should just date out or be alone. Simple
@@brightemerald3924 I will continue to and I’m glad more BW are waking up. They are the only group with high divorce rates, leave a trail of baby mommas, and are more concerned with conquering their women instead of competing against other groups of men. MOST of them (not all) are not family oriented.
Never depend on a man for your finances...im going on almost 4 yrs since my ex Narc left and the girls and i are doing great!! I know he has his regrets seeing how hood we are without him..lol Sorry youre going thru this but it will get easier and youll be better off alone... Ive liked and subscribed to your Channel...looking forward to seeing more of your videos...blessings and much love to you ❤❤❤❤
I already thought you were a beautiful, strong woman, and now seeing this video has made me believe that 100 times more. Speaking from a place where I was in a similar situation except we weren’t married, but we might as well have been. It’s really overwhelming when you feel like even though you’re an independent woman, you still had someone with you throughout the mundane things. I appreciate you so much for sharing your story and being so vulnerable with us. You have no idea what that means to me. Sending all my love and positive energy your way
The comments is to much . Everyone has a opinion and probably never experienced marriage. Seek GOD don't just do what your flesh is telling you. Seek GOD for what to do GOD will definitely get you thru. Stay in prayer
Aw mamaz I’m so sorry for what you’re going through. I know this pain all too well. My husband and I went through drama for so long. We met 22 yrs ago and have had drama all that time. People would say why can’t they just break up already. We married 8 yrs ago and he threatened divorce every time the stress got high through our fights. He walked out on me before. I left another time that he mentioned divorce. Our kids are adults so no little ones. It’s been So tough but I will tell you one thing that has gotten me through is God. Cry out to him. He listens to every word we speak. ❤
Divorce (and separation) is one of the worst things that can happen to a person.I pray God will give you the strength to keep going one day at a time. Hugs and prayers for you and your kids 🙏
I’m a single mother, born and raised in the Virgin Islands. My daughter’s father abandoned me and my daughter for another woman, and he supports her kids. I was devastated, because I didn’t know how I would be able to take care of us by myself, especially since I don’t have supportive family members. I began crying out to God, and that began my journey with Him. God took care of us and sent random people my way to help me. 5 Years later, I am now a homeowner in the U.S. No longer in the Virgin Islands.
Look at God😍 showing offf on you❤😍
I'm so happy for you, I pray God show up for me and others in need soonest.
Amen. STT, STJ or STX?
Its always another woman yet it should help one grow because a cheeta dont change its spots
Keep going Queen! You can and will get through this. Trust God!
My father left my mother back in the 80s. My mother begged my father to come back. That was the worst thing she could have done. My father resented my mother until the day he died. He stopped loving her years ago and he wanted to leave but my mother said or did something and my father stayed. But I can tell you as the child seeing this go down, I wished my parents got the divorce, because they both were miserable for over 30 years. They both are died now but I wished they both met other people and would have lived a happier life.
My friend tells everyone she’s staying for her kids…I told her that her kids knew the marriage was over before she did.
@avalonpark1574: I tried to leave a toxic marriage several times. I was very transparent (naive) so I would always try to settle things before I left as it related to our children etc. Every single time I tried to leave something would happen and I would end up staying. When I was finally able to leave (Grace of God), I was done. But, one day a rush of emotions came over me and I was desperate to reconcile. The feeling was horrible but uncontrollable and I ended up calling him and telling him that I had a change of heart. We almost immediately reconciled. Soon after he fell right back into his ways, trying to turn our kids against me, and secretly causing all kinds of havoc behind my back. Finally, I learned that he was involved in ‘alternative spiritual practices’ and that the things that were happening was bigger than the physical. My point is that everything is not always as it seems and your mom may have been a victim. Obviously, I don’t know that for sure, but I know that people can do things to ‘keep’ while pretending that they don’t want you. I know this for a fact!
@@thepalettewhispererasmr1227statistics show that divorce hurts kids in many ways. A lot of couples stay married for the kids
Thanks you *MATYLA SPELL* on RUclips for bringing back my ex lover ❤..
Sad Video. There is nothing like a perfect marriage or relationship. There are no formulas to these things. What works for Adam might not work for peter. I However learnt that in everything there is always a solution, 5 years ago my wife and I were on the brink of a divorce because we were having some difficulties in our marriage but we are back together ,it was a really bad phase but we got through it..
There is a lot of sense in what you just said and I hope mine works the same way too, we are currently separated but I cant live without her, I love her so much. wish I can get her back I can do anything to have her back, we have tried therapy amongst other things
Its always difficult to let someone you love go, but in my case I had the help of a spiritual adviser who saved my marriage from collapsing her name is Suzanne Ann Walters...
This is helpful, I will look her up online right now...Thanks.
You definitely should. You wont regret it
It takes two willing adults though. She tried. He wasn't willing...
sweetheart, men rarely leave like that unless it's another woman. Men typically stay in comfort zones, no matter how toxic or dysfunctional things may be. I'm saying this, because I want you to be emotionally prepared for the worst. 70% of divorces are filed by women. It's statistically rare. Just prepare your heart. I've been through divorce, and it's tough, but you will get through this. please protect your spirit ❤🙏🏽
Sorry for your pain 🙏🏿 for strength and healing
Yes his new woman giving him a place to stay with no responsibilities
He is at another woman's house right now. A week with no sex for a married man? He is getting it in elsewhere
Or Man U just never know these days.🤷🏽♀️
That’s not true. My ex-husband walked out on me and his 3 children simply because he cannot communicate edfectively and didn’t want to pay bills and was tired of me asking him for his share. I went through the same traumatic experience, however, God prevailed and I am in a much better position taking care of me and our children on my own.
I was married to a man similar to your husband. It was absolutely miserable. We have 2 kids. One with special needs. I got a divorce and prayed hard because it was hard financially. Money came out of nowhere and i prayed for a man that would love me and my children and he sent him quickly. God always makes a way. You WILL make it. I will send prayers for you and your children. God loves to listen to your prayers. Pray to him tell him what you need and give him your requests. Trust me it may be hard now for you but nothing is hard for God. He loves you.
🫶🏾🫶🏾🫶🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾
Amen! Same here.
Absolutely 💯 same here too.
Yes I can relate 🙏🏽
God really loves when we bring him into our problems 💕
Ladies, don’t let him tell you to stay home, make your own way because when he leaves, you done!!
You can stay home and make money. Plus make sure you have access and your name on the bank accounts . There is also alimony and child support. Just important to always be smart, save what you can but telling women not to stay home or trust their husbands is bad advice.
Ladies im a housewife and ive been a housewife for 11 years. If my husband leaves i still have three homes in my name, vehicles in my name, a life saving of 6 figures. You can very well be a SAHM/HOUSEWIFE & still have a very secure future. Just be wise and make sure he is investing in you. Make sure you have full access to the money. Make sure your name is on the house, cars and accounts. Save your money. People change. Be wise.
I think most of us understand that it’s possible to make money from home. All she’s saying is women need to always have their own and not be solely dependent on the spouse’s income.
Facts. I really and truly believe men do that coz they wants to control u.
@@believeringod.4004 the average person doesn’t even have 6 figures in savings by the age of 60. More realistic advice is to be HONEST with yourself about your partner. I knew my divorce was coming a year before the papers were signed. Be honest and loving to yourself.
Long ago, you made a video. During the recording, your husband and kids came home. Your whole energy shifted. It was like a “new” Shana slipped through. I saw your anxiety, and you quickly ended the video. When you left RUclips, I strongly felt it was because of marital problems.
Us mothers cry behind closed doors. No one sees our pain. That said, cry if you need to. We are here for you. We love you, Shana!
God is going to see you through this season of your life and you will look back on this part of your journey when you are in a better place and see your growth.
Love to you always❤
I hope this video isn’t really just for him. He left .. let him go.
Sending hugs and prayers, new sub here!!! ❤🙏
@@roseinharlem8152that’s very dismissive. If it was that simple people would do it. It takes time to just let go. The mind, body and soul don’t work like that. Time, distance and new experiences allow people to let go!!!
@@intentionalparenting2605 Understood. I just despise men like this and would hate for him to get his ego swollen by watching this. But you are right.
Sad to say, this must be the season for divorce. My husband left as well towards the end of March. We will get through this. I am a firm believer that God makes no mistakes and I am sure he is doing us a huge favor! It sucks to get left… the feeling of abandonment, the constant question of “did he ever love me for real? When did he start feeling this way?” The list goes on… before long, the pain and grief will subside and you’ll look back and thank God for allowing him to leave….. because if you’re anything like me, you would have continued to sit in misery for the sake of not being lonely! Stay strong cyber sis! This too shall pass!
My husband left me & moved his stuff out when I was at church, God saw it all Im fine now just take 1 day at a time with Jesus. Love you girl ❤
Same ....while I'm at the house of the LORD, the devil at home busy 😮BUT GOD!!!
As some one that is also going through this, reading comments like this helps a lot. I am so thankful for finding her video. Just when you think you’re alone. I know this isn’t about me, but I just had to say that. It feel so much better to see women support one another, and when you are going through it, you don’t know the outcome. But just reading and seeing it’s women that has been through it and they made it through so can we!
@@mightystrong5484 double AMEN
My ex- husband left when I was at work. Didn’t wanna talk or anything. I was devastated. It was one the hardest thing ever. I was so depressed…. 🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾
WOW!!! What cowards…unless there’s abuse or imminent danger there is no excuse to do that! But thank full that as my mom would say “man’s rejection is Gods protection” so it was for your good any how!
Never totally depend on a man, financially and mentally or emotionally. Women need to be sovereign and self govern and sufficient all of these areas. Never be codependent it’s a weakness.
Single women keep other women single with that bad advice smh
Women initiate 75% of the divorces. (eye roll) You ladies just need to pick the good man and stop dating the bad boy. Problem solved. You have to compromise. Men are not supposed to be fine, we are supposed to be useful.
@@Soloman_1800how you figure that?
@OPEN_ROAD1800. You are looking at it all wrong. If women(overall) shared this information, then more married women would be better equipped when/if divorce ever comes up.
@@cherylhickmon8573 Men probably aren't going to marry anymore, so I don't think it matters. Women initiating over 70% of the divorces is absurd.
Please don't let him see you break! That's what they want to see. My hubby and I broke up once snd he thought I was going to lssh out or something. No, get the heck out, boo! Rise like a Phoenix. These men want to see women fall these days! He knows he left you in limbo.
You don’t even know the husband. Perhaps he just got frustrated and wants a break from her. Not every man care to see you break. Some people just want some peace in their lives.
Some couples still have love for each other. Just because you’re divorcing them doesn’t mean you want to see them suffer especially if they are your child’s parent.
@@gailainsley6939EXACTLY!!! They dog you then say you cant control your emotions foh.
This.
@@gailainsley6939ain’t this the truth. I all the drama came from my husband lying, cheating, emotionally unavailable and just being a misogynistic.
A man will never jump off the ship unless he has a life jacket waiting for him.. sis he has another woman it will be revealed soon.
What a BS which serves only women not to take accountability for anything in a separation.
You are putting opinion on the table as if it was a fact. Focus on objective elements instead of emotional stuff.
@@d.o.9225 WOW!!! Did I trigger you?' The platform is for opinionated statements . You can take it or leave it. 🙏🙏🙏🙄
@@d.o.9225Facts.. the truth is most of these women destroy their own homes. Toxic women give toxic advice and spread the chaos and family destruction. They get married because they want to be a husband not a wife.
@@Noella-v9w @d.o. is speaking facts.
My ex partner of 14yrs left the relationship on 26.12.23 . For someone he got pregnant, this I found out after he left. I will say there were lots of red flags throughout the years but I was trying to work things out, hoping things would get better. The man just constantly cheated and lied abt it. Never admitting to wrong doing. Red flag 1 was: in the first year+ of living together he decided to introduce me to his mom and her reaction was that of a hateful person. Never met the woman physically, was through Skype. I never spoke to her for 11/12yrs. Rift was everywhere, with his family side. My family had no problem with him. They accept who I choose... there was just a lot happening in this relationship. Last 3yrs I was engaged also. That date I gave was the exact date 3yrs ago.
Honor your feelings. Don't allow him to get away financially. He wants to leave, he still has to take care of the financial responsibilities he created with you.
Thanks you *MATYLA SPELL* on RUclips for bringing back my ex lover ❤…
Be strong sis. The truth is most men are cowards. They are not going to leave unless they already have someone else. They will stay with you unhappy and all and will only have the courage to leave you when they have already secured some other desperate woman. Move on with your life . Stick close to God and he will help you and bless you. ❤🙌🏽
So true!
Maybe it's disrespect 🤔 , not another woman. Talking all day , is not communication 😒
Your statement is the exact opposite of what you claim. Most of the time it's the woman who leaves when they find another security blanket to lean on " Facts it's what I seen and saw others go through It's always two sides to the story" live long enough and you will see"
Not someone else, somewhere else. Some men leave not because there’s another woman, but because he wants to have more than just one other, and he wants to be out of the marriage to do that.
Once he has his basics in order and has a place to stay, that’s when he makes his exit.
As someone that is now married to a woman that had to go through a divorce, make sure you get a good lawyer that specializes in divorce and custody! You don’t want to wait. Write everything down and keep all text messages.
Yes! I forgot that part. When he comes over set your phone to record, audio is better than nothing.
I agree the person you were married to is not the same person you are divorcing, treat them as tho you never meet them because you haven’t. Don’t trust that they will have your best interests , it’s no longer yall it’s every one for themselves.
@@mala3isity Have to be careful about that. In many states, it's illegal to record a conversation without the other person's consent, even in your own house. I think in New York it's okay as long as the person recording is part of the conversation, but you can't secretly record a conversation you're not part of. In my state, it's illegal to record unless both parties are aware and consent to the recording, so you could be held liable/charged for it. And even if you don't get in legal trouble for, it can't be used in court, so the court will just behave as if the recording doesn't exist. Just an FYI to those reading these comments thinking about recording someone as proof to use in court.
This!
@@anyaw340 Thank you! I had no idea about this. I was thinking more about "things to take to lawyer" or just for her exact memory's sake but I had no idea she could get in trouble, we def don't want that.
I had a really good African friend that I had met through her braiding my hair( years ago). At the time she was pregnant with her 5th baby and lived in one of the really nice areas and had a beautiful home. She had helped her husband through college( he was suppose to help her through college, after he graduated), and he was making very good money to support them, after he graduated college. She confided in me that one night they had gone to bed as usual, and she woke up the next morning and he was gone, and NEVER came back! It happened with the 5th baby that she was pregnant with. She eventually had to move out of that really nice area and beautiful home into a mobile home in not as nice part of town. God truly became her everything, and she raised all five of her kids in the Church! She eventually graduated college, and so did all five of her kids.
This is a heartbreaking story 💔
Great ending, powerful story
INSANE!!!!!!!!! 5 damn KIDS and just poof ghosted them
It amazes me how these men think they will prosper after abandoning their family’s
@@LaLabutterflyreally gotta ask yourself was those his kids?
If you file for divorce you can get an immediate judgment on spousal support, and child support. That he will have to continue to pay all bills until, the divorce if finalized
Yay! I didn't know this.
Yes, absolutely
Depending on the court, there's often a long waiting time to get the case heard, even for that interim maintenance so it's important to have access to savings in the meantime.
Yup this is true. My sis husband. Had to pay for her lawyers & the mortgage even while the divorcé was stikl ongoing
@@sandrambah123 thats fucked up that a man has to pay for her lawyer during a divorce , yall have a bunch of safety nets and this is why men worth a damn should never get married , its failure waiting to happen the way the courts screw men over .
This advice is coming from someone who had too leave a situation that was going nowhere. first you need to get on your knees and ask God for guidance and to take care of all of your needs. you will find what he really has for you and it will be beautiful and peaceful and fulfilling and more then you expected.
As someone who's been through having a husband walk out and divorce: there is life on the other side of divorce. Just take it one day at a time. 🙏🏾
Thanks you *MATYLA SPELL* on RUclips for bringing back my ex lover ❤…
My Grandma and old Aunties warned me about men, were they married yes. I know all men are not bad but ladies protect your heart and your finances. A lot of women go through hell and this too shall past.
All you have to do is compromise on your standards so you can have a good man. That's literally it. You modern ladies have insane standards. That narrows your dating pool to almost nothing, increasing the odds that you will run into a narcissistic man. Or worse. It's really sad how women will date bad men and then be surprised at the eventual result.
My husband was having an affair with a yt woman. The divorce was granted just today. He was abusive and cruel. I know it’s hard but I am 55 days no contact and 5 months out the home. You will make it. I promise
I'm sorry to hear that happened to you. If the woman was significantly younger than you, would you feel worse?
@@nicolelewis6312 not really because I’m actually very beautiful…his new supply is 7 years younger. But I feel like he feels like a particular demographic is more worthy of respect. He wanted to stay in the Bronx when we were together but NOW he wants to go up to Manhattan. Like I deserved the ghetto or something. I am an attorney so I moved myself into a better environment 💅
@@Empatheticallyrisingdon’t ever settle again. BM are not loyal to BW they only use us until they find a Becky who will tolerate them.. go find love elsewhere
GLAD YOUR SAFELY OF THE SITUATION
@@Empatheticallyrisingisn’t that interesting that you were settling for him! I watched both my mom and my step mom struggle with my dad’s compulsive nature and the frankly verbal abuse at minimum but they’re both thriving without him while he’s sad he left my mom in ‘02 😂 you’re highly educated, intelligent and beautiful! He’ll be looking back on this time as his biggest loss and your higher success as the same era!
My ex husband did this to me 3 years ago, we had been together 13 years and married 9 years , He just sat me down one day and said I want a divorce. Everything seemed perfect , I had 3 month prior a hysterotomy and he was like I want to build a family. Never talked about having kids it was out the blue. I'm so glad that I work and was able to handle the mortgage of my home and other bills. I" m still heartbroken, fills like I'm in mourning . My ex husband was my everything. So starting over is hard. Sorry for your loss my dear
It was never perfect. Stop lying. You had issues and chose to ignore so did he until it was too late. Be honest with yourself. You want it to work so bad you and him overlooked obvious issues. Sometimes best to go separate ways then pretend that your marriage is great- when it is not. We as women just need to be honest with our situation. I’m on the other end of it thinking marriage should be perfect 24/7 but that is not the case, and took me a while to realize that marriage is work and Both people are individuals trying to come together and make it work. Marriage is NOT for everyone and about time people accept that. 😌
Make God your everything?
@@sg5720You might be right or it could be as a simple as he had been secretly toying with the idea of having kids and he did not tell her then the hysterectomy made him confront the issue. Very sad. Both should have been more open with each other.
Although it might seem like too much money if she only has a hysterectomy while leaving her ovaries she still may have been able to produce eggs to have bio children if that was his hang up but with the way that he went about things that probably wasn't even a good suggestion to bring that up.
Probbaly got someone else knocked up then used that excuse
Ive reported sg5720. This weirdooo has been berating women all over this place defending terrible husbands. a true trollol. everyone else needs to report them as spam.
Give him what he asks for, as long as he knows he can never come back. When someone leaves you at your lowest, that tells you all you need to know about them.
I disagree. I left my ex at his lowest because of fear of him me bringing me down with him and his depression and medical issues especially when he refuses to get therapy and improve his health. I am donating my kidney to him and still want to even after my decision to leave and breakup. I hated leaving him but I can’t stay if he refuses to help himself. I fear donating my kidney to him and he not taking care of it and him (and I) losing the kidney. So it’s not always as simple as what you said. There are 2 sides.
@@esgee2464you one of the rarest good people, my dad passed away 2 months ago due to renal failure, I lost my job last month and had to get a biopsy for skin cancer. The man I loved told me he doesn’t love me anymore and we should move on, because he was secretly talking to other women and hated me asking him if he was (he just wanted to talk to whoever he wanted and do whatever he wanted but still get benefits). These are the people they are talking about when they say when you leave someone at your lowest. What you doing is noble, donating a kidney but please think it through because this will also affect your life as well and you will have to deal with the aftermath of it. I hope no matter what you decide that you find peace and love.
@@esgee2464so you haven’t left him at his lowest. You removed yourself from a situation you felt you couldn’t survive while maintaining support. That is not the point the original poster is making.
Yep. SO true.
Thanks you *MATYLA SPELL* on RUclips for bringing back my ex lover ❤..
The way they leave you reveals how they felt the entire time. I am 46 and have a grown child, my ex husband begged me to have another at 40, when my oldest was in college. We were married for 10 years, and he left me with little notice. He left me a single mom to a now 6 year old , the one thing he knew I didn’t want to be again. Its been almost 2 years since we divorced, we have a new normal. I have learned to rest when I am tired. My ex is not capable of love, he was unwilling to love me the way I needed and resented me for it. He felt that I should be happy with whatever he did do, even if it wasn’t what I needed. The truth is difficult, especially when you know you tried so hard to make it work. One day, you will see him for who he is and realize your own strength in the process.
Awful! I'm sorry you went through this. I am praying for your healing❤
I went through a divorce and though I’m remarried now it was by far one of the most traumatic experiences of my adult life. It DOES GET BETTER.
Going through a divorce now. I’m okay now but at the beginning it was so painful. I’ll never forget that pain. Because of that I don’t think I could get married again.
@@merinajalaya740 I know what you mean. I didn’t think I could either. But everything I went through naturally made my standards high and my patience low. So when I met my current husband he really had to do ALOT to earn my trust.
It does get better 🎯
@@merinajalaya740 I completely agree with you. It is the most painful thing to experience. Your life is turned upside down.
💯💕
Not married, but dealing with the same thing, no communication, no talk of growth nothing. So I call myself single and I am moving as if I am alone. People who dont speak, are deadly!
Leave.
People who don’t speak ARE deadly! So sad you have to defend yourself against the person you married. A wise woman told me… the man you marry is NOT the same one you divorce.
Do you guys live together?
Get outta there.. If he doesn’t speak then you don’t mean nothing to him.. he see that’s weak for you to stay and he show no love and doesn’t communicate ❤
Exactly
This is the father of my child. I wish I caught the red flags before getting pregnant but it's better late than never. I refused to marry him and ran for the hills. The relationship he has with our son is more important. ❤ I am good
Let's just stay single ladies... Some men are exhausting, my ex chose silence instead of communicating and it was emotionally exhausting for me, trying to get him to speak. He wanted to sweep things under the rug
I'm single for now. My last relationship was too much. I'm praying and healing. God is showing me what I need to work on. I do want to be married one day. Hang in there. Healing is worth it❤
@@starrjohnson1327why the hell would you want those leeches with tails in front be in your life?
I am staying single focussing on my health and my bank account. Life is too short for a man to be stressing me out. So many women are suffering they just cannot talk about it.
@@augustvirgo6773 U ain't neva lied, ppl don't tell the real truth about marriage. Alot of married women ain't nothing but single parents in their marriage.
Omg my ex did the same thing ! I knew deep down something was going on. This is why marriage scares me. I'm heartbroken and he was just my boyfriend
When someone walks away from you, that is not a statement about you, it is a reflection of them. And the fact that he didn’t want to listen to the therapist truly speaks volumes!
Not true! Stop with this horrible advice that promotes not assessing your contribution to the divide. It's childish.
@@Wisdomandwar504Thanks ! 💯
You think he left her to be with another women because he just walked away from her like she wasn’t nothing that’s so sad that she’s going through this with her older Children 🤔 ……. Wow so he wanted to leave her first wow 😮
Does this also apply to women that leave? Or only men are not allowed to leave without being shamed or gaslit into thinking they are the problem?
Thanks you *MATYLA SPELL* on RUclips for bringing back my ex lover ❤…
You had the heads up sis....sometimes we just ignore the signs. God is forcing you out of this situation for greatness 🙌🏽
Amen❤❤❤❤
That blessed me, sis 🙏🏼 ...forcing me out for greatness 🙌🏽
Sometimes the flags be blowing in a 90mph wind that we ignore. And choose to collect them.
💯🎯❤️
Amen ❤
Hi there. This hits so hard. I was with my exhusband for 30 years married for 19. I remember feeling the pain you are feeling right now. He would leave me to be with his girlfriend for no reason for months no warning. I would always take him back. I finally got tired and got a divorce. Ended up giving him another chance after the divorce but he hadn’t changed. I got therapy and let him for good. My kids suffered so much because I stayed with him for so long. I thought I was helping them by staying but I actually hurt them more They are adults now but the pain is still there for them. We are healing and I’ve moved on with my life. I say all of this to say you are not alone and God is with you and your children.
I appreciate this testimony, that you stayed because you thought you were helping hit home! This gives me strength!
@@FreeSpiritInGod hey I’m glad it was helpful. I pray you find strength in God on your journey.💜💜💜
Thanks for sharing your experience. It is so unfair when men behave in this manner. The pain their actions inflict seem to go unnoticed by them. You did all you could do. I applaud your loyalty to your marriage vows.
@@GuidedSoul88 I am so sorry you are going through this. The cruelty in the manner you husband has behaved is horrible. The two of you owned the home, how was he able to keep you away. I pray for your sons for courage to endure. So hard on children.
" I would always take him back." And this is exactly why these bozos act like this. Because you ladies allow them to. Meanwhile, you all said no to the better men because they weren't as tall.
Please take this in the grain which it is intended:
You will be fine. Your daughters will be fine.
I've done it. I'm fine. My children are fine. I have a son with special needs.
Keep going Shana.
We're here for you via RUclips with any support we can provide and to cheer you on through prayers and whatever resources and/or advice we can offer.
Yep. She will. Been there and the best thing that happened was I found peace from within. You don't think it's going to stop hurting but it does. Peace be with you beloved
I've gone thru the exact same thing. GET A LAWYER RIGHT NOW! BEFORE HE MOVES ASSETS!
Your toxic
@WestPalm561 aww someone learned a new word on TikTok! Good for youuuuu
@@R3dHeadRedemption On YT, I dont have tic tok, but close enough. And thank you for the support. We have to spread the word. Too many wicked women out here spreading bad advice. When a relationship is in trouble the last thing either person needs is advice from a single/divorced person. Need to pair with a couple that had been together 40+ years and been through the ups and downs.
Thanks you *MATYLA SPELL* on RUclips for bringing back my ex lover ❤..
Baby sis it sounds like realize you two aren’t equally yoked & that’s good!! Now you need to attain a good divorce attorney who specializes in cases such as yours; make sure the cost is incurred by your husband because you are the sole caregiver!! Pump out a video each day so we can support you hear on RUclips. You dont have to be a “Strong Black Woman” Eff That BS!!! You just take care of yourself & your babies!!! If he decides to come back to you -cool but now you know what you’re working with!!
This is GREAT advice!!
@@chocolatemomof4agree 👏🏾
This is why I always make sure I have my own income. Never depend on them … most dudes be emotional and try to be petty.. I have no time for it
Frrrr
File for child support, insurance and alimony immediately. Sending prayers.
why?
@@stephenjean-baptiste8757 Stop liking your own comments. It makes you seem needy. 🙄
Women should adjust their definition of cheating to what it used to be or what it is among the aristocratic
@@lisasmith7 why would you think it was me who liked it ? It most definitely wasn’t tho
You know she made mistakes in the relationship too right ? Why are you telling her to take this man to court to take all his money. He left for reason tho he definitely could have handled a lot better
I’m tired of this treatment from men…. This is why I believe women are the strongest people on the planet.
Women (especially black women) are programmed to worship men and not God, so we will forever pay. Women scream to let men lead… when 90% of relationships women are the ones carrying
I believe it as well ,That's why we bare the children 💯💖.
Exactly it's really sad....most selfish creation ugh
Women have to stop allowing it!
So go start your own country and marry each other...That should solve everything right.
Please apply for ssi for your beautiful daughter. I have 2 kids on the spectrum and before getting married I was receiving a $600 a month check for my son. He is 21 now. I also got Medicaid, and food stamps for him as well. It's help out there you just have to apply. I am gonna pray for you and your family. I am so sorry you're going through this. There is light at the end of the tunnel, and just know your troubles will not last always. Trust in god, pray, and take it day by day. As for your husband, he will soon find out that there is nothing out here, and best believe the grass is not greener on the other side. Blessing to you my love. WE as your followers will always be here for you.
🙏🏿🤗❤
Like most women. On government assistance.
@@lavethwhat a disgusting thing to say. Troll much?
@@sharonharris9782 the fact of that matter is disgusting? I guess truth is a harsh reality to you. Unfortunately that doesn’t altar the truth of the matter as much as you may want it to. Think what you want but you can’t counter the data. Thoughts?
@@lavethit's not a fact. And the fact that you think it is is not only disturbing, but pathetic as well.
You gotta see the blessings in him giving you back your freedom to heal and grow. We allow men to leave us emotionally and stay in the home for years before they walk out and it just allows them to build a life some where else when their presence without really being present drains us and devastate our lives most us will ask multiple times for a divorce but men want to to see you destroyed by them walking away but we must learn to match their energy and build our own financial stability whether married or not. You got a army of women here to support you and God will not allow you to fail.
This! 100% true
He actually did her a favor. Yes it's devastating but better than a lifetime of misery. Her girls would be damaged too by their so called dad .
Her husband is Satanic. Square biz.
My husband left me with a little girl and one on the way.i know your pain and fear. Stay strong move forward life might change for you but you and your children deserve happiness.
My goodness! I hate hearing things like this. I’m not married but when I hear things like this it makes me rethink it all over again although I know this isn’t everyone’s story.
Just wonder how you’re doing now ?❤
The fact she kept forgiving him and he still did not make changes for you. RED FLAG. Remember she threatened to leave many times so he secured himself before she decided to leave for good. Petty, and cold and calculating he is, but she is no angel either. She won’t be the first single mom and she won’t be the last. Best they go separate ways. I pray she and her children will be okay, and I hope he finds what he looking for and is happy too. 😌
this is exactly why I dont want kids stories like this traumatize me🧿😭
Thanks you *MATYLA SPELL* on RUclips for bringing back my ex lover ❤…
Please look up Dismissive attachment style. I’m not trying to diagnose anyone but listening to your story and his behavior, it sounds very similar to one I dated and this man brought out anxiety that I never even knew existed in me! He Never wanted to talk about anything past surface level, would get upset whenever I said I was done with him and didn’t want me to leave him, avoided talks about feelings, wouldn’t address his needs but got upset when I didn’t I didn’t meet his unaddressed needs, and he up and discarded me out of the blue after me begging for him to communicate because the hot and cold had me so confused! I’m still hurt by it but learning about people who behave in this manner, I realize there’s really nothing I could’ve done besides suppressing my feelings and pretending everything was ok. I’m praying that things get better for you and your girls and I know that they will give you the strength to get through this tough time❤
I’m praising God already for what he’s about to do for you. 🙏🏾 Fret not and don’t be dismayed. God is still on the throne. ✨
In Jesus name, Amen. Hallelujah ❤️
Amen……."so utterly true. Praise him.
In the ALMIGHTY NAME OF JESUS, Amen & Amen
Amen. That’s it and that’s ALL
Thanks you *MATYLA SPELL* on RUclips for bringing back my ex lover ❤…
Girl, my auntie has been married three times, so you will get through it and live to tell the story. Trust me. You are bigger than the marriage. And your happiness is for and to your children.
Your aunt is the problem! I bet she left every time. Her job is husband-hunting
Your fragrance channel brings me joy! I'm here to return the joy you bring to me😊
Thanks you *MATYLA SPELL* on RUclips for bringing back my ex lover ❤..
Don’t worry girl you were alone anyway so keep on being alone. You will just regret the number of years you stayed. Don’t worry for your children just pray for them. They will be ok.💛🧘🏾♀️
I’m so sorry but your Husband seems like a Narcissist. I pray for you and your babies, you are strong ❤️❤️❤️
How did you come about your assumption? The man sounds like he just has a very different personality from her the one she expects him to have. What I hear is a man who is just “tired”. Men, like women are still allowed to get tired.
Most of them are.
Shelfish most probably. Narcissist, we just don't know. We must stop throwing that word around, it will end up loosing all credibility in the face of real Narcs.
@@gailainsley6939 I can tell men easily get tired of you just by reading your comments 😂.
@@gailainsley6939 that's what I have noticed
You will realize how strong you are when the person you love & depended on betray you. It will make you stronger & you will be your BIGGEST motivator.
Thanks you *MATYLA SPELL* on RUclips for bringing back my ex lover ❤..
This, too, shall pass. You will heal and move on to better things. I was married for 11 years. I was miserable. My divorce was freeing. I wish you the best.
Thanks you *MATYLA SPELL* on RUclips for bringing back my ex lover ❤..
Reminds me of Tony Daley when her husband left. But thank God life doesn’t stay the same ! Love and light mama ❤
For real and just abruptly after 20+years…
When You first broke into a tears..I felt that. Sending you huge hug. Those feelings you explained reminded me how I felt 10 years ago when me and my ex decided to get divorced. My 5 year old helped me realize we were gonna me alright. My son told me....its okayMommy, it's always gonna be me n You, just u n me Mommy.... Kids know what's up sometimes.
You got This Momma,it's gonna be hard. But you got this!
Thanks you *MATYLA SPELL* on RUclips for bringing back my ex lover ❤..
I know exactly what you're talking about because my husband is the same way. He's very 'surface level' and doesn't like to talk about the deeper uncomfortable issues. It's very frustrating.
Same here ...from the comments it seems very common. Keep praying and maybe incorporate fasting. Also look into therapy.
Shana, my heart dropped when I saw your title. One thing that crossed my mind, and I know nothing about it, but it occured to me part of your anxiety may be from your husband. That's just my thoughts. I've been praying for you for awhile.
I thought that, too, she gave us little hints.
A lot of men are like that. Of course you can’t leave him bc then he failed! He had to leave you bc then it’s completely you fault.. pitiful 😒
All these men nowadays are just gay as heck...all on the dl
EVERY TIME!!! Never no freaking accountability and black men are awesome at that.
For real
For real
#toxic ass kings😢
@@FreeSpiritInGodI'm sorry you had a lot of bad men in your life" seems to me you just straight up hate men" like all men are like that 😢
@@beruti1 no I don’t its the love I have for them that’s yearning for them to be better…if that makes sense.
Tell God that you're placing your husband in His hands and youuuuu let go if the reins. Let God handle this and you try to stay in prayer as much as possible. This will not be easy but allow God to hold you up right now and I will pray for you and your family. ❤
The notion of a perfect marriage or relationship is a fallacy; every relationship is unique. What works for Adam may not necessarily work for Peter. Nevertheless, I've discovered that there's always a solution to every problem. Five years ago, my wife and I were on the verge of divorce due to challenges in our marriage, but we were able to mend our relationship. It was a tough time, but we survived
The depth of your words strikes a chord with me, and I genuinely hope my feelings mirror yours. Despite our current physical distance, I cannot envision my life without her; my love for her runs deep. I yearn for her return, and I'm prepared to do whatever it takes to make it a reality. We've explored different avenues, including therapy, in our quest for reconciliation.
Parting with someone you love is always a challenging process, but in my experience, I had the guidance of a spiritual guide who prevented my marriage from collapsing. Her name is Suzanne Ann Walters.
Your advice is valued. I'll promptly look her up online. Thank you. I'm optimistic that pursuing this method will also lead to favorable outcomes for me; I deeply yearn for her.
You definitely should
Thanks you *MATYLA SPELL* on RUclips for bringing back my ex lover ❤…
I kind of figured it was marital issues going on. A divorce is like a death. Allow yourself to go through all the emotions as needed. Stay in prayer. The word of God says if an unbeliever wants to leave let them go. I wish you the best Shana! Keep your pretty head up. ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
Thanks you *MATYLA SPELL* on RUclips for bringing back my ex lover ❤…
Be careful when he comes back around cause he more than likely has someone and is justifying his actions. It happened to me then after his fling he said you changed like he wanted to work things out as if it was all my fault . Long story short he ended up cheating again later with his ex wife. He would lie about what he was doing and I already seen enough. Please work on you.
I ended up leaving . I have struggled every since but I won't put up with a narcissist gaslighting me and continuing to play games.
I'm sorry sweet lady.
OMG! I am so sorry you are going through this. I have been in the exact same boat before, husband left in 2010 when I had a 5 yr old & 1 year old. I didn't work, I used to, he had the career and I stayed home with the kids, and I was freaking out and so scared when he left. Money & worrying about my kids and how they would feel, and how it would impact their lives was my main concern. I have a great man in my life now and for the past 9 years and he is wonderful to my kids. My kids are so so close with me now because of everything. You WILL be okay, it will take time, but believe me you DO NOT want to be with someone that doesn't want to be with you, you are WORTH way more than that. You are too sweet, smart,drop dead gorgeous, and probably the best smelling woman in town🙂, he is a FOOL for leaving you. Throw yourself into your RUclips channel like crazy to get that income and be super successful, focus on being strong in front of your girls, and time will help heal. We all pray for you, take it day by day and be strong. 💜
Best smelling woman...??
What?
Where did that come from?
You are young and beautiful. Do not allow this to break you. Get a good divorce attorney. Put out more content on YT and other platforms and also figure out what you like doing and try to find a job in that area. Don't focus on the heavy burdens, focus on life and making a good life for your babies. Don't be ashamed to ask someone to start a go fund me. This will provide temporary assistance while you put your life back together. Also, prayer is a good resource, pray and remain positive💕
I agree I hope she sees ur message ❤🙏🏾
I came here to say the same thing.Hope she sees this.I went through this with my ex too and l didn’t let it break me and l moved on even if it was tough.
This is soooooo similarrrrrr. I would try to break off things before and he wouldn’t want it until he decided. Wow
Wow Is the male ego
Thanks you *MATYLA SPELL* on RUclips for bringing back my ex lover ❤…
When people shows you who they are, please believe them, listen to the RED FLAGS people. Don't work too hard to keep a relationship. You are wonderful woman and you will get through this, so let him go.... je te souhaite que du bonheur!
Any lawyers in the comments? Please provide advice for Shana during this time 🙏🏾🙏🏾
I went through the same thing in 2013 after 12 yearsof marriage. It's a process, but you will get through it. I experienced every emotion there was while trying to go through an eviction and car repossession. I have a wonderful husband now. No one can tell you how to heal because the emotions can come in waves. You will get through this with your children. God will vindicate you as he did me. I pray strength and wisdom as you navigate through this. It's amazing how someone can love you one minute and hate you the next.
I’m so sorry you are going through this Shana, sending you love
Thanks you *MATYLA SPELL* on RUclips for bringing back my ex lover ❤..
Everyone start at the first video and rewatch EVERYTHING. IM GONMA HAVE MY DAUGHTER AND CREW SUBSCRIBE. GET IT COOKIN FIR THIS SISTER!! YALL DO THE SAME!
SHANA WE GOTCHU!
Wow, you are so thoughtful. I’ll try to do as you suggested
Girl you got me tearing 😢 I haven’t even got a good 5 minutes in. From one mother to another I sincerely empathize and will be lifting you and your family up in prayer ❤❤ I pray god comforts you and brings you peace in those lonely times we all experience. 🙏🏾🙏🏾Thank you for sharing and being so vulnerable with your Subs! You never know who else could be suffering in silence or going through the same 🫂Be strong you will make it! Being alone is so much better than being in bad company, change is hard and can be painful but there’s healing there and peace when it’s all said and done.
Thanks you *MATYLA SPELL* on RUclips for bringing back my ex lover ❤..
This sounds like it will lead to much better mental health in the future. Seems like there were some major points of incompatibility. No need to be ashamed. If you feel this is your community, then I hope that you feel welcomed to continue to share 💖💖
Hi Shana. Silent viewer here on both of your channels. I just felt compelled to comment because my BF went through this exact same thing in 2022. Husband just up and left. Watching this was like Deja vu. And I just want to tell you everything is going to be ok and you will get through this. Stay strong for your children and just be truthful with them about it all. You are beautiful and you deserve so much better. Life is to short and we all deserve to be happy. Wishing you and your girls nothing but the best going forward.
Very sweet of you to help. She's gonna need all of us. 🌺
Don't cry baby, smile it's a huge blessing in disguise. God had to remove him to upgrade you mentally, financially, emotionally, physically and in all aspects. I've been through a similar situation in life. Thank God I never got married to the guy. Some people aren't your kingdom spouse, he was just a place holder. You may be sad right now but this too will pass. You're free to be your own woman again. Count your blessings, move on and be exceedingly truly happy this time.
Yes actually you can see that she is ready. The only thing she can’t handle is loneliness. That patience is the most difficult thing.
I’ve been where you’ve been. I understand every emotion you explained. I’ve been divorced from that man for 10 years. I was so sad for my baby girl who was only 1.5 at the time. You just have to take it one day at a time. Talking about it helped me a lot. I lost a lot of self esteem due to circumstances around my divorce, but now I’m remarried with 3 more babies. It’s hard to see the light in your moment of darkness, but trust that it is there!
Congrats for your comeback. God is great🙏
I tap into your blessings. I pray God direct my true husband to me as well.
Congrats sis. Wow God is good, what a helluva comeback, kudos 2 u.
I’m 6 month in girl, it’s not easy. I’m praying and giving my marriage to God to sort it out but sometimes I get want to quit because the pain is too much. I don’t have the support as other do but it’s videos like this that make me feel like I’m not alone. Wish I could hug u girl, I feel everything you’re saying. It will work out in the end by the grace of God
It sounds like a lot of incompatibility. Sometimes opposites attract, but the differences are too great to be a couple. But you can't see it at the time. I'm very sorry you are going through this difficult time. Try to stay strong.
This man you are describing reminds me so much of my child's father; hence why we are no longer together. Not only did he not know how to communicate, but he doesn't know how to communicate EFFECTIVELY. Like you said, you are very big on communication, and I am the same way too. If I didn't address things, nothing got dealt with; absolutely nothing!! I was always the one to initiate a conversation in order for things to be dealt with; ALWAYS!!... You can't be in a relationship and expect things to just be surface level all the time! You have to want to dig deep and solve and resolve issues. This is the only way a relationship will work and remain healthy... Trust me I feel your pain.
Thanks you *MATYLA SPELL* on RUclips for bringing back my ex lover ❤…
So sorry my love THE MOST HIGH will bless you with your true spouse who will love you unconditionally his love will mirror🤎 yours
This smells like a narcissist. He wanted to leave along time. Cheer up Queen
My heart hurts for you 😢 God will never bring something to you that He won’t get you through! Praying for you!! 🙏🏾
My narcissist husband left me after 26 years of marriage. He said I was toxic because I keep accusing him of cheating. Well it came out that he was having an affair with another woman. When a man leaves it's always because he has another woman. 😢🙏🙏🙏🙏💪💪
26 years is a long time.. what were his reasons for stepping on in the first place?.. if I may ask..
No it isn't. Stop generalizing.
@@iammikalanthony i was her, like a lot of women!! I know the symptoms of her situation. Times have changed! People are different and only out for themselves. If she doesn't prepare herself for this divorce , things will get harder. She has a special needs child which means more child support!! Her soon to be EX is going to stop that. She is an empathetic person who needs to get on her grin.
Not all men leave because of another woman but I do find more often than not that's is true
@@Noella-v9w Just because you both experienced that doesn't mean that all men leave because of another woman. It's extremely insulting, not just to the men like myself who honestly just got fed up with the nonsense and left, but also to your sons, when you spread the narrative that ALL men leave for that reason.
Sweetie you will be just fine! One man’s trash is another man’s treasure God will walk beside you on your new journey no worries and we are here for you as your support system 🫶🏾I wish you many beautiful blessings to come ❤
I know it’s painful. I’ve been there. The best advice I can give is do the work on yourself. Focus on yourself. Get yourself on your feet and keep talking with your therapist. Do it for yourself and you children. Love and strength to you.
I kinda figured that's why you weren't active on RUclips. I'm praying for you, and your family. We were concerned about you.
Sometimes you just need to talk it out and talking to strangers is better than family. I found when I recorded myself speaking of some personal things it helped me to get it out. You will feel you are the blame, you question what did I do and then comes the anger where you want to just slap someone. But once you get over these hurdles, you will be relieved and then start moving forward. You got this and we are here to listen. Also, make sure you get a good attorney and know that you reached the mark where you get assistance with being married for 10 years.
First my dear lil sis, you look beautiful. I've traveled the road you are on. I have a son with an intellectual different ability which made divorce so painful. Put on your amour and ready yourself because it is all about your children. This life altering situation will bring out your survival instincts...Get a great divorce attorney, file for child support ASAP, focus on finances (work from home position). There is a light at the end of the tunnel, you are in my prayers🙏🏾❤️
I’m a single mother of four girls 9-19. My husband died of a heart attack. No help. No money from anyone and if I can do it you can too. For me it’s been 13 years since then. You got this
Read the title and ran straight to do a prayer for you. I'm so sorry you're going through this and I know God can guide you through this ❤
I'm sorry to hear about your pain. Please take care of your mental health. Therapy and/or spirituality will help greatly.
God’s got you. He is a good Dad and won’t fail you. Praying for your wisdom.❤
the best daddy!!
This really saddens me. I can feel your hurt. This is why I avoid relationships. I’ve been hurt also. You will be ok, it’s going to take time. It’s his loss.
You sound exactly like me and him like my husband. We’re only married almost 2 years. I sacrificed a lot! Had a bad argument and he just jumped to divorce, we did struggle with communication and resolution all the time. I even retired for my job of of 11 years for us. This sounds wayyyyyyyyyyyyyy to much like my situation. We gonna get through this gurl!
He’s bipolar
I am going through the same thing in many ways. I lost everything. Husband suddenly decided I was not good enough and I am toxic. No heads up, after being married for nearly 11 years. This is not normal. No one is perfect. I am not, and neither is he. This is spiritual.
I can truly say that I know how you feel. I’m so sorry that you have to go through this.
I was blindsided by my husband a year ago when he walked out after 22 years of marriage. I’m still in shock smh…
Wow 22 years is a long time
Be grateful that he left! I left my husband 10 months ago and divorced will be finalized next month. It was HARD at first but now I’m so happy with the recession. The lies and deceit were too much
Thank you for your transparency! Sharing your story reminds so many women that they do not go through these trials alone. You are so relatable. That nigga left on the 1st April, what a ‘fool’😒. The best thing you did was let him go. He will regret it, they always do in the end. God will guide you through this! You are loved! ❤
First thing I thought...a fool!
Someone mentioned in the comments that we can support her by watching old videos. I will do so, to help you gwt paid. I will keep you amd your kids in my prayers. Im so sorry that you are going through this.
I know there are no words to make you feel better at this time.. Time heals all wounds especially broken hearts 😢.. you'll be fine ❤😊
I see a lot of BW in the comments resonating with your story. Saying the same thing happened to them as it did with you (and me). I actually asked for the divorce but it was a reverse discard. He made things so miserable and was so disrespectful I HAD to leave. I will never date another black male again because it’s now clear to me that THEY DON’T VALUE FAMILY.
They dont, but they be on here trying to convince the world its us. I hate when they do that because this comment section PROVES MY POINT. The point I make every time. They want to bring up statistics that literally has nothing to do with our REALITY! They want to label us independent and masculine bad attitude etc when this is the result of their leadership 80% of the time. Smh 🙄
They don't have a template and so what do we expect. They have absent fathers so they don't know how to be partners. Black women should just date out or be alone. Simple
Don’t generalize black men this way, race is obsolete here.
@@brightemerald3924 good luck if you think so
@@brightemerald3924 I will continue to and I’m glad more BW are waking up. They are the only group with high divorce rates, leave a trail of baby mommas, and are more concerned with conquering their women instead of competing against other groups of men. MOST of them (not all) are not family oriented.
Strong is an understatement!!! Sending love❤️
Never depend on a man for your finances...im going on almost 4 yrs since my ex Narc left and the girls and i are doing great!! I know he has his regrets seeing how hood we are without him..lol
Sorry youre going thru this but it will get easier and youll be better off alone...
Ive liked and subscribed to your Channel...looking forward to seeing more of your videos...blessings and much love to you ❤❤❤❤
I already thought you were a beautiful, strong woman, and now seeing this video has made me believe that 100 times more. Speaking from a place where I was in a similar situation except we weren’t married, but we might as well have been. It’s really overwhelming when you feel like even though you’re an independent woman, you still had someone with you throughout the mundane things. I appreciate you so much for sharing your story and being so vulnerable with us. You have no idea what that means to me. Sending all my love and positive energy your way
The comments is to much . Everyone has a opinion and probably never experienced marriage. Seek GOD don't just do what your flesh is telling you. Seek GOD for what to do GOD will definitely get you thru. Stay in prayer
Aw mamaz I’m so sorry for what you’re going through. I know this pain all too well. My husband and I went through drama for so long. We met 22 yrs ago and have had drama all that time. People would say why can’t they just break up already. We married 8 yrs ago and he threatened divorce every time the stress got high through our fights. He walked out on me before. I left another time that he mentioned divorce. Our kids are adults so no little ones. It’s been
So tough but I will tell you one thing that has gotten me through is God.
Cry out to him. He listens to every word we speak. ❤
Divorce (and separation) is one of the worst things that can happen to a person.I pray God will give you the strength to keep going one day at a time. Hugs and prayers for you and your kids 🙏
Divorce is like a death. You go through all of the grievance stages just same as dealing with a death.